conflict supplemental

A company struggling with difficult conversations implemented supplemental coaching by creating scenarios for employees to practice. They paired people up in different roles to practice conversations and gave specific conditions, such as remaining calm and professional. Afterwards, they discussed what went well and areas for improvement. This approach helped employees approach upper-level managers more comfortably and improved problem-solving conversations. Another company created a book club to discuss chapters from Crucial Conversations, sharing what they learned and successfully applied. Another example showed how playing inspirational videos or podcasts during the commute improved employees' moods and productivity. These methods of fueling employees' minds can lead to more thoughtful and professional conversations, even in conflict situations. Let me kick off the supplemental coaching with another story. There was a company that was really struggling to have difficult conversations. From top to bottom, from side to side, from upward to downward, downward to upward, they were just struggling. And what they did, which I thought was brilliant, we would lead some sessions and we would create scenarios. And what they did is they said, you know, we want to create scenarios that are germane to us and have everybody practice them. Now, I've never seen somebody do this, but I thought it was a brilliant idea. What they did is they paired people up. And it wasn't always boss-subordinate relationship. It wasn't always peer-to-peer. So you could be a customer service agent paired up with the president. You could be the chief operating officer paired up with the manager of product development. And the idea was, here's the situation, both parties practice. And what they did is they would create these situations, and then they would give the conditions of how to practice the conversation. And they would insert words, like we taught them, calmly, thoughtfully, professionally. And then at the end, they would have a discussion of what went well and where do each of us have an opportunity to improve. Notice the language. An area of opportunity to improve. Not constructive feedback. Not what you did bad. Because conflict is not going to be mastered right out of the gate. So here's the cool thing. When they started practicing that, some of the upper-level managers started to notice that people were approaching them more because they were more comfortable. They also noticed that people were now starting to have conversations where there was problem-solving required diplomatically, thoughtfully, consistently, expediently. So what you can do with supplemental coaching is pair people up, give them a situation to practice. Now, don't make it so real-world that someone's going to get defensive, but create situations that are specific to your work environment, such as the following. You have a customer calls in late at night, there's a late order, and somebody didn't ship it out. How are you going to have that conversation with that person when they come in the next day? The conditions are, do it thoughtfully, professionally. What are the first three questions you're going to ask? Create conditions. Get people practicing outside of your direct coaching. Number two. I saw a company once do this with the book series Crucial Conversations. And what they did, which I thought was awesome, is they created like a book club. Every two weeks, a chapter was due. And they would pick people to go into these different groups, and you'd be with people from different departments, and you would share what you learned from the chapter. So the rules was, what did you learn, and what have you successfully put into action? And they would just have a little half-an-hour discussion. When you fuel people's minds, good things will happen. Let me give you context to what I just said. There was a company years ago that would have people come into work, and I had an HR person say to me once, people just seem to get in here, and they're already in bad moods. And I said, well, let's try something. And what we did is we encouraged everybody. Now, we couldn't control everybody to not listen to the radio when they drove in, to find a station or podcast that was inspirational and motivational. And every day, every manager would play a five-minute video clip of something that was inspirational or positive. Now, one of my favorite motivational speakers is a gentleman by the name of Les Brown. You just hear his voice, you feel invigorated. And what happened was people started to come in and started to be more energetic, more positive. They started to work more effectively together. And that's the cool thing. And so when you come to something called conflict, fueling people's brains with how to and why to will start to create the momentum and the direction of having these conversations thoughtfully and professionally.