results from 5 questions

hello and welcome to the shit show I am just F and I am suffering from a cold here to my left is my nemesis of the day are you gonna say hello I am jackass or hello all right so today we're going to do some follow-up statistics of the questions that we asked last time right and so some of these we text to friends that we knew would answer and think were good questions to ask I guess and other ones we actually went out to the bar and did their I of course did all the talking you can be social once you drink enough you're pretty fucking social okay so go ahead you can raise and my voice is just barely coming back go for it right so the first question we were asking was how far would you go on the first date if you were vibing and all that out of the 50 women 25 of them said they would go all the way and the other 25 that they might end up with a kiss, hug, whatever. I kind of called bullshit on that but you asked for honest answers so hopefully we got honest answers yeah you did hope right because I believe that what you did I believe was it 30 women or 35? 35. 35 women and you're the one that came up with all the only 25 of them would go all the way. Everybody I had said they would go all the way and out of the men out of the 20 men they all said that they'd go all the way after their first date as long as they're vibing. Yeah well I guess that just goes to show that men are hookers more than females. Unless all females are just liars. Probably that too. I think well I don't know because you're saying this bullshit that only 25 of them would go all the way and out of the men out of the 20 men they all said that they'd go all the way after their first date as long as they're vibing. Yeah well I guess that just goes to show that men are hookers more than females. Unless all females are just liars. Probably that too. I think well I don't know because you're saying this bullshit that only 25 of them would go all the way and out of the men out of the 20 men they all said that they'd go all the way after their first date as long as they're vibing. 25 of them said that they'd go all the way and you're saying we call kind of bullshit on that. So who really is the liar? I guess I'm not sure. I think that anybody in that situation. It kind of goes back to a conversation we had a while ago about that how I met your mother show or whatever. Or how I met your father or mother. How I met your mother? Yeah. Where he started doing five minute dates to see if you were vibing or you were not. Like why wait a time. So like I mean if you've got a vibe then you've got a vibe. Obviously you're building a home with your kids. Or to a hotel room or. Bathroom. But now what if you don't vibe but it turns into a one night stand? Yeah but you kind of have to vibe in order to get the effect. Says who? I don't know. That'd be the thought of it right? I mean if you're out on a date you'd think you'd have to vibe in order to click to have sex. Where if you just go to a bar and dance and drink and meet up that usually turns into a one night stand more than a first date. But well let's say first date and I mean to consenting adults and it's just sex. I mean. Then why even bother with the date? That's why I'm saying cut through the bullshit in five minutes and let's find out. Yeah I reckon. I reckon. I reckon. So anyway the second question was thoughts on a one night stand. Are you for or against it? 22 women said yes they are for it. 27 said no. And one said each to their own. I don't know. I guess I don't call bullshit on that. But if you have a guy that's like all up on you and not that it's like a pressure thing or a peer pressure thing. But I mean. You know what like I don't know what I'm trying to say here. I don't either. I'm listening. Thank you. Wow you're fucking on one to this aren't you? Is it because I'm sick is that why or? I don't know it might have a hand in it. I appreciate that. So fucking awesome. But you know the number one answer on the reason behind the one night stand by women was given right? For the one night stand. What? You got to test drive it before you buy it. From women. Women said that. See now that's bullshit. I don't like that answer at all period. Straight up. That's what I got told. You got to test drive it. Because that goes to the whole does size matter. I mean like what about people that we live in Utah. So we have a Mormon state where there are people that get married very young. Okay but this isn't about marriage. This is about kids. Okay but like. It is this is though. Who even said fucking Google? So like it's like they get married early and then that's their partner for life. So there's no hit it to drive it or find out how it test drives or whatever you're saying. Okay but. Okay now you're going that route but. This isn't about marriage. Well not only is it not about marriage you're talking about. I mean don't get me wrong there's a lot of jacked women that go to bars and all that other shit. But most of the people that are young that get married they in it for one night stands or anything like that. In it for family in it for. They should have just arranged. They should just go back to arranged marriages in Utah. Arranged marriages. Shit. And of course out of the 20 men how many do you think said yes. You know what every fucking one of them. Absolutely every fucking one of them. So now I mean does that just go to say that men are fucking pigs. No. And men just want to get their dick wet. You know what women are just as nasty as men are. Don't try to pull that wool over people's eyes. I am not. Women are just as dirty as men. Okay. I don't. See that's why I like on the last few questions like the answers and seeing most of these are my friends. So it sucks because it's like I'm calling bullshit because I mean I think that more women would have a one night stand. I just think they're saying that it's not like we're not we told everybody we weren't going to use names or anything and we weren't going to. And I'm not. I'm not going to use anybody's name or anything like that on this list. Just on this list. But so I think that I think that those numbers like are wrong. I wish that we had like a truth detector that like just point at them and like go in. You're wrong. You're wrong. Or if we had like a Jack Mormon detector. Ding ding ding. Yeah. Then go tell their bishop on them. Go tell their bishop on them. Okay. And then we go to the bishop. Ding ding ding. Yeah. And the reason why is because it was the bishop that hit it the quickest. That's fucking horrible. But then you have bishop's kids. Bishops that like rebel against their bishop. I mean their father's against the bishop. Well yeah. There's bishops' daughters and shit like that. Yeah. So now they have some freaky girls. But. You want to hear a joke? Oh God. Coming from you probably not but you're going to tell me anyway so. You're right I am. Okay. So there's two guys that work in a morgue. And the one guy goes to the other guy and he tells him hey that dead lady over there she's got a shrimp hanging out of her vagina. What the fuck? And the other guy goes what? He's like yeah there's a shrimp hanging out of her vagina. So he walks over there and looks at it and goes that's a clitoris. And he goes oh it tasted like shrimp. Oh that's fucking horrible. That is so bad. And you're just sitting here flushed in the fuck up. I thought it was a funny joke. Speaking of shrimp. So our governor. Is it Governor Cox? Is it Professor Cox or the American? I think he's our governor. He just named the other day and put it in writing that the brine shrimp is our new crustacean of Utah. Must have found it on a dead lady. That is so fucked up. That is so fucked up. Oh my God. That is horrible. Who told you that? Rolly Polly sent it to me on the messenger. That is horrible. I got a kick out of that one. So the next question was are you into role play? 18 women said yes. 26 said no. 4 has never done it but would be willing to try. And this is just with women. That was the women. Now on the men there was 10 men that said yes and 10 men that said no. Equal huh? Hmm. You know okay I remember this question when I was getting feedback. And it was weird because the younger portion of the females said yes. The older portion of the women said no. The men, the older said yes and the younger said no of men. So is that like an embarrassment thing? Is that something that like oh well we don't talk about yet? Is that how long are you supposed to be in a relationship for before you start talking about role playing? I can't answer that. I've never role played and I really don't have no intention of doing it. You know I don't believe that. Why? Because I know that you are a go at it. What? I get to see you with a handyman or something and your construction. No I'd rather play it boring. Okay if you ever did that would you just take a picture? I don't want to see anything. I have to sit up and see you. That's horrible. That's almost as horrible as your shrimp joke. Now if you were into role playing I like the oh I'm going to kill you look over here that you're giving me. That's awesome. I'm not giving you a kill you look. He is everybody I know you can't see it but he is. He's giving me these daggers like are you fucking kidding me. So now if you what would you role play as? A maid? Don't start with me. There's no maids. Would you come down with a little ruffle and like the little hat of feather duster or would you come down in a male tux too? I'd come down with a speedo with a bow tie on it. Just a speedo and a bow tie? Where's your feather duster? You have to have a feather duster. That's for her to find out. Oh my god you're horrible. Horrible. Why am I horrible? Because I don't even want to know. I don't even want to know. Then why'd you ask? I don't know. I don't know why I asked this stupid question. Because you want to know. I don't know why it's ever freaking fucking time. But yeah so yeah role playing. Would it be to like spice up your sex life do you think? Do you think that it's like if we were to ask married couples this question would it be to spice up your relationship? Would it be to? Yeah but I don't know maybe. It's a hard one to answer. I don't know. I mean even to think I wouldn't know. I mean I guess I can tell my aunts and uncles. Yeah let's get them on the show because I'm sure they would appreciate it. Okay so let's go with the next one. The next one was oral sex. Would you rather give or receive? Okay now you're looking at me like are you asking me or? I think we answered all these questions on the last podcast. I believe so. Okay so I'm going to say and I don't know all the numbers that you tallied with who you asked and how many I asked. But I'm going to say that more men would want to receive than give than the men. That would be on the men. And then for women I'd say oh god like 50-50. No maybe 75-50. And if you're wrong in both then what? There's no and what with you. It's always just this fucking sexual that I get to go home to do to get my husband. Lucky for him then right? Oh god I'm going to kick you right now. If you're wrong on both. No because now I know I'm wrong on both. Then you have to go home and play the board. I'm fucking not playing no more. At all. Never in my life. Ever. Not even when I'm dead. Okay 20 women said they'd rather give. Out of 50. Out of 50 women. Out of 50 women yes. 12 would rather receive. 17 would rather do both. Okay. And shockingly enough three of them said they would rather not do either. Huh. Interesting. Why not? Isn't that I mean okay so like are we talking about like once again are we talking about married couples? Are we talking about because it's like. I mean I guess I can go back through my phone and stuff and see who I talk to. Because I guess like I guess what we should have been more specific on who we asked I guess. Because you were saying once they walk down the aisle. The women they know that they're walking down the aisle with a smile on their face because they know they just gave their last blow job. And when they get up there and they say I do it means I don't do that anymore. So have you found that to be true? Well I've only been married twice. So I have to say yes. Okay. But that's my own personal experience. Other people I have no clue. Okay. And on the men? And on the men? On the men 12 would rather give and 8 would rather. Huh. Interesting. So I mean how did you not get two answers back or? What do you mean? 20 men. Yeah there's 20 men. Okay. 12 said they'd rather give. And 8. And 8 would rather receive. I heard that. I hope everybody heard that slap. Well I'm just I mean I'm helping you with your mask. Oh God. Wow this guy thinks he's so funny. Someday. And so let's see. Now how about you? Um I'd rather give. Give. Yeah I would definitely rather give. And the other one other than you know the one where you wanted to ask besides matters which that's really only a female question really. I got no answers. Yeah I know and they probably all said the same shit. They did. Which was what? I hope so. I hope it doesn't matter. I hope it doesn't. Yeah. Faking orgasms. So now what this goes with besides matters? Is that what you just said? No no no no no I was saying this I think this one and that one is probably the two funniest. Well or not so much the funniest it's more of a female. Which don't get me wrong they can fake them too. Oh yeah definitely. Definitely. And when you. And the answers. Not the answers but. The reasons. The reasons I'm sure are exactly the same. Pretty much. For the most part which I kind of remember some of the answers so I can probably go off the top of my head on why they. Do or why they don't. Okay so what are out of 50 women. Out of 50 women 30 of them said yes. That they faked an orgasm. Okay. 20 of them said no. Okay. Perfect. Wasn't there like three in there though like I had on I think I have it on my phone. That said they couldn't take it. Yeah I've been told that one too and then I've also been told. That. If they're vanilla yes. And if they're not then no. And then another one I remember told me that. They didn't fake it. Or well no I take it back. A lot of them will fake it just so they can fake it quicker. Yeah. Yeah. On both sides. Right on both sides. On both sides. And then. What was the other one. I thought something about like feelings. They don't want to get feelings hurt. That one. Oh my goodness. I can't think of that off the top of my head. Maybe I should have wrote that down. Yeah you probably should have wrote a lot of stuff down. Why. You should talk to our manager. But it was just. It's more statistics not of what people. I mean if I wrote what everybody said down it would be here. For like five hours. This is a manager question. Maybe you should call him. Call him. See so I had. Okay so. Never faked it ever. And three women said they couldn't fake it. Now your vanilla thing I forgot what that was. Because I totally took that the wrong way when you told me last time. Basically if. If they. Had experience and know what they're doing. Then no. They're not going to fake. The orgasm to make their head swell. Or. Make them feel good about themselves. But if they're vanilla. We're basically. Not experienced. Not. What was the word. Not experienced. I just said that. I know but that's a good word to explain it. Okay. So basically they're vanilla adults so. And where did this come from? The vanilla? Yeah. I don't know where the half the fucking. Phrases come from. And how come I don't know half these phrases. Well you're old. Well I'm the fucking old one. Okay. Facts. So not facts. It's just not. And don't fake. Just go to it. So now. And I had three said they couldn't fake it. Okay. But they tried and that was a female. And I don't know. I again. I mean I don't know. So I. I think I know why. I still have confidence. I think I know why. Because you can't get. You can't say that you can get. A squirter not to fake it. True. But. If the person they're with doesn't know. That they're a squirter. Is he on? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I'm just saying. If. Say Johnny. Got with Bobby. Bobby's a squirter. Why do we have to go to male names? Can't we go with a male name? Carly. Okay. That works better. Thank you. Okay. Johnny and Carly. I'm enjoying the sex with Johnny. She can fake it. Well yeah. She can. Okay. It's okay. Yeah. She can fake it. But. But now if. Ugh. That's a tough one. But now if Johnny and Carly have been together for a while. And knows that. Then yeah. You're right. There's no way that they can fake it. Okay. Yeah. I just. You. Good one. Of course. That's why I'm here. Oh. That comes a mile away. The shit I fucking. You know. I swear I should think before I talk. Try to. But it just doesn't happen. You can think before you talk. I'll still figure something else out. Oh yeah? Because you're so fucking witty. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. I'm kicking it. Go ahead. I will. So 13 men say yes. They fake. And seven of them said no. And I'm sure it was for the same. Probably. Basically the same reason or answer. Or. Yeah. I don't know. And then to make. Not make the other. Or to make. Well maybe the man's a squirter too. Is that even possible? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. 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