Nothing to say, yet
Transcription
The person had an interesting experience where they intended to take some tincture and go to the library to work. They forgot about the tincture but remembered shortly after leaving. They decided to go back and take it. When they arrived at the library, their laptop charger didn't work. They discovered that the library had electrical problems. They returned the charger and ordered a new one. They realized they could have tested the charger in their van before returning it. They went back to the post office to retrieve the charger. They contacted the seller to cancel the new order and it was successfully cancelled. They realized that taking the cannabis tincture had enhanced their experience and helped them handle the situation calmly. They reflected on the importance of completing tasks and not rushing. They also mentioned the significance of writing and the effect of cannabis on their consciousness. I'm still experiencing what has taken place, but I would say a really interesting thing has taken place today and I wanted to share it with you. I could reveal it as if it's a story, so I take you on a journey, but the reality is I don't think I need to do that. I think I want to start from I decided today to take some of my tincture. In fact, I decided, I had the thought, I'll do that because I intended to go to the library and just be in the library today. I had nothing else to do, no appointments or need to be with Eliza or anything like that, and that wasn't going to happen, so I could just be there, watch whatever I wanted to watch, do the various things I needed to do and just be, and I enjoy it. For a lot of the last few weeks, I've intended to do that. I've had a call from Eliza or Kay asking if I could come and be with her, and I've always said yes, and I'm happy to. But it just means I haven't done that thing, and a couple of times when I have been in the library, it's been a lovely day, so I feel like I can go back to the van, it's nice and warm, I've got plenty of electricity, I don't need to be in the library, it's bright, it's too bright, I can't control things, I can't eat comfortably. So I haven't been, but today I decided I would, and I thought I would have the tincture, but I forgot, I left, and after I'd only gone about 100 yards, I suddenly remembered the thought that I would have the tincture, and for a moment I thought, oh well, too late, never mind, doesn't matter, I don't have to do it, and then a moment later I realised, but I'm only 100 yards away, why don't I just go back and do it? The reason that thought has come, it's like a little voice, a little reminder, you wanted to do this, was that actually I do want to do it, I need to do it. So I went back, had three drops, and set off for the library. Got in, sat down in my usual spot, got everything out, plugged in my charger, it didn't work. What? I'd only just replaced this, I don't know if I mentioned it, but I went through a period a little while ago where it failed, and I had to get another one, and that wasn't very nice, so it failed again. Oh my goodness, I can't believe it, and now I've got to go through the whole of Easter without my laptop. That's a big thing for me, I realised how much I really depended on the laptop when it went, and even though it only took two days, actually, to replace the charger, and I was OK to use my phone in between, I knew how much I needed it, and I was so happy when the new charger arrived. And now it's already failed, and I can't get it replaced in two days. So I immediately got onto eBay and started a return, and they sent me the QR code, so I could take it to the post office and send it back, and I went onto eBay and found another, there were plenty of sellers selling these things, and ordered another one. I went back to the van, I wrapped it all up, I went up to the post office, I thought I'd better get it done now, because we're coming up to Easter, and everything shuts down, so at least I'll get it done, and I don't have to think about it. Everything went fine, handed it in, went back to the library, and I thought OK, so I've got to accept this. I don't like the idea of it, but that's what it is. I'll use my phone, I've got the charger, and a long cable, and I'll just sit somewhere, it's easier actually, I don't need a table, and just make do. I plugged in my charger, and it also didn't work. What is going on? I tried a different plug, and it didn't work. And then I went outside, and I said to the librarian, I don't know what's going on, it can't be me, but is there any problem with the plugs in there, with the sockets? Oh yeah, we had an electrical problem last night, and those sockets don't work. I plugged my charger into one near him, and it worked fine. Oh my God! I said, why didn't you put a notice up? Yes, and he needly set about putting a notice up, but too late for me. And then I realised, oh no, I've just sent back my charger, and it's working fine. And now I don't have a laptop, and I didn't have to have this experience. I'm so efficient, get everything done, almost like I've become obsessed with the need to do the work, to do it all, to get it sorted, that actually, had I just carried on, no rush, I could have ordered a new one, but I didn't have to send the old one back straight away, just to get my 14.95 refund, I would have been fine. So, I rushed up to the post office, which is only a couple of hundred yards away, explained the situation to the postmaster, and he kindly gave me the package back. Phew! So I'm not without my laptop. Ah, great. OK, well, I've ordered another one. I don't need another one, but, you know, from a fear-based perspective, I'd have a spare if this one went, and if I never used it, I could probably sell it again as an unused, unopened thing for a few quid less. It's not a big deal, at least I can use my laptop over Easter. I thought, well, I've got nothing to lose, why don't I just contact the seller, explain the situation like I just did to the post office, and see if he'd be willing to cancel the order, I don't need it. So I sent the message, and literally within a couple of minutes I got a reply, yeah, that's fine, no worries, we'll cancel it for you. So everything was sorted. I'm exactly back to where I was before I went to the library, only I realised, oh, this is a really interesting lesson for me, and I also remembered I'd had a thought. When I came back to the van to package everything up before I took it to the post office, I had a thought, let's plug it into the van, just plug it in. I do these kind of things, I'm scientific in my approach, I try different things, I try it again, I wiggle things, I try to see if I can figure out, can I solve it, is there another answer, I don't like to make assumptions. How could I have assumed that the library's sockets were at fault? Just the concept of that never crossed my mind. I suspect it wouldn't have crossed anyone's mind. But plugging it into the van would have revealed that there was nothing wrong with it, and I would have learned, I would have been well relieved. Oh, to discover that, to not have had to send it back, would have been amazing. But after I'd sent it back, after I'd gone to the library, the only reason that I was able to go to the library was because I'd accepted. I wasn't upset, I wasn't angry, I wasn't bothered. Why me? Why does this happen? I wasn't like that. So I went back to the library and only doing that allowed me to discover the truth. And at an early enough stage that I could go back to the post office and still get the package back. If I'd done anything else and only discovered the truth later, maybe I wouldn't have discovered the truth, maybe they would have fixed it. I didn't go back today, they fixed it today, I'd go in tomorrow, it all works. I'm expecting a refund on an item that's not faulty. Or worse, I went in later this afternoon and discovered it, and then it's too late to get the package back from the post office. I would have found that much harder to accept and deal with. But in doing all the things I did, I realised that as I came back and I started to think about all this and see the connections and write and talk, and I realised, oh, I feel different. Oh, that's right, I've taken three drops of the cannabis. Oh, I'm feeling energetic, energised. I'm aware, capable. I'm not saying that I can't function without it, but somehow I'm enhanced. The whole thing has fuelled it, the cannabis has affected the way I'm seeing things. The experience has heightened the result of it, the fact that I was able to essentially, I suppose, pass the test, and all ended well. I didn't have to have a second thing that I didn't need, I didn't have to go without a laptop that I really love using, and I learned a lesson that was given to me by the universe in such a wonderful way, because ironically, or not, only the plug sockets in the library where I sat were affected. Every other plug in the building was fine. That seems very coincidental, and would be necessary to create this experience, because it's happening kind of synchronistically. I actually got, no, that's not important, but the fact that I could see that the reason that I struggled with this initially was I'm rushing, I'm affected by something that's not right, and I need to put it right, and I have to do it as quickly as it's humanly possible, because until I do it, I can't settle, I can't relax, because something that isn't done needs to be done, and I can do it. If I can't do it, then I can let go. I can't quite let it go completely, because I know it still has to be done, but if I can't do any more today, then I can accept that. But if there's something I can still do to get it finished, so that I don't have to think about it anymore, it just is now out of my hands, and in the hands of those who will do something with it, I will do it, I will do it, because I know that if I choose not to do it, if I get lazy, or, ah, it doesn't matter, it will bother me, I will think about it, and I'll regret, essentially, not doing what I can do. But yet I wasn't in a calm state, I wasn't accepting fully, I wasn't aware of everything, because I was all, there was a lot of energy going on in me. Then I'm beginning slowly to be affected by taking a plant substance that's going to alter my consciousness, and here I am, making a recording for the first time in, well, since last year, in an altered state. And that has come about primarily because I was writing, I was going to let my friend know in writing, because we had a conversation, I think it was yesterday even, but maybe a couple of days ago, where I said to her, because she's a writer too, and I said to her, I rarely write now, I just don't seem to do it. I make recordings, but she never hears those, so that's just an idea. But I don't write, you know, my keyboard isn't that good, I realise that I can actually dictate using speech-to-text software that I have, and that works really well, and I'd forgotten that. So I can actually talk and write at the same time, although it's still not as nice as just talking, but still, I could write. And so I wanted to send her this, what has happened, just to say, because she was a big part of my getting the replacement, and cared, and I just wanted to share something with her, but not like this. What I wrote is nothing like this. I can't speak unless I'm doing this, I can't write like this, that's why I'm speaking, that's why I don't need to write, I get it. But in that process of writing, I realise, oh, I'm high. Oh, yes, this is what it's like. I've forgotten. It's useful. I was almost going back to the library, because I'm feeling a bit cold, it's a bit damp today, and I'll go and sit in the library, but then I realised, ah, I don't know if I can function well, I mean, I can function, but I don't want to be in the world, because in a sense, when I'm in this kind of state, the world is a bit chaotic, I'm safer, it's easier if I'm just in my own space, being this. I can't be this out in the world, I have to hide it, in a sense, and there would be too much going on, I'd be aware of so much, it would be overwhelming, and I would want to come back. But, so I put on a warm jacket, and we'll see. I do like going outside, I might go for a walk, mind, in a bit, walk down to the beach, I don't know. Being in an altered state, these are the things I would do, because the experience is, by definition, altered. And I find it interesting to experience the world this way. I think I'm guilty of doing it too much, and having months, three months off, has definitely allowed me to expand in a way that I wouldn't have done had I continued to use it as I had. But now that I'm using it, I'm having an experience that is enlightening. That I can see that I am, I've had an experience that is now completely over. There's nothing that needs to be done, everything is as it needs to be. I will check to make sure that the refund comes, they said that it will automatically happen when they cancel the order, and they seem like a nice company, I don't have to, one, doubt them, but it is in my nature to check if I don't just naturally see that that's happened. Just to check, just to chase it up, not because I doubt that it will happen, just because. I am aware of it, so I can't ignore, I don't ignore what I'm aware of, I try to act on it. That's why I'm aware of it, otherwise what's the point? If I am aware of things I don't act on, like, which reveals an unconscious state, like, I was aware of the thought that said, just try it in the van, which had I been still enough and present enough to accept as a valid thing, even though my, logically, I could never have done that because there was no doubt that it was my problem. No doubt in my mind, so I was closed to it, but it was there, it did, it was there, it didn't shout, it didn't make a big deal about, but I had to be in the right mindset to see it, but I did see it. It wasn't that I didn't see it, I saw it, I just ignored it, free will. But still it all turned out OK. Being honest, revealing the details, not just stating the facts, but actually being a person, like explaining it. When I went to the post office, I explained it to the woman that had served me, but it was the postmaster who came over then and she said, can we, like, she'd never had this experience, and he's like, what's the problem? And so I gave him all the, oh, I went into the library and I plugged, I gave him the whole story and at the end of it, it's like, yeah, yeah, we can give it back. So it humanised it. And as an Aspie, I have recognised that in the past, I haven't done those kind of things. I'm just being direct. I just need the package back because it's not faulty now. So that's perfectly fine. It makes sense. It's like concise and clear and there's no other information you need. That's the thing. But with the story told as a kind of, without expectation, without insistence, without I'm demanding anything, you have to, I'm asking, but I'm doing it in a way that encourages them to go, yeah, yeah, go on. And in the same way with the order I just placed, they didn't have to cancel it. They could say, look, I'm sorry, but the order's gone through. You have a right to return it, of course, but you have to pay for that return and then we'll refund it. But actually that would cost them money because they'd have to send it out anyway and pay me back the full amount. So it was in their interest to cancel it. They just don't get a sale. But the way they did it would mean that I would return to them in the future if I needed something. So it might work out in the long run, proper customer service. But it's all worked out for me and that has made me feel lighter. Yeah, there's no heaviness. Like I said, if I'd been, why is this happening to me? Oh my God, I've only had it for two weeks. I'm going to be without it. Oh, woe is me. Poor me. Sympathy, sympathy. I might not have gone back to the library. I might not have discovered that that was the problem. It wasn't me, it was them. And it would have been too late to get it back from the post office and that would have created a much more lower vibratory experience. It would have cost me more money. I would have ended up with two things and so on. And I wouldn't have felt good about it. The whole weekend I would have felt bad that, oh for goodness sake, especially when I discovered it. Like I'd go in tomorrow because it's open tomorrow. It might still be like that. It would be a blessing I suppose if they'd fixed it and I never know. I never understand when the company says it doesn't work. Oh my God, I'd say no, it does work. I'd say no, it doesn't work and we'd be in loggerheads for ages. I didn't need any of that. I've had an experience like that with an eBay seller before and it isn't very nice. And I would have felt bad at realising I'd given away the very thing I actually needed and I didn't need to do it. And it could have been avoided if I'd made different choices. If I had been aware of things differently which is all me. It's all in me. How I... I can't control what happens but I can control how I deal with what happens. How I respond to it. And here is a good example of me responding kind of obsessively about something with so much energy with so... almost like, right, I've got to do it. If I don't do it I'm going to die. It was almost like that. Like, I don't get it done. Oh, we'll be so out of sorts and not able to settle and all in a state of fear and worry and anxiety. And who wants to be like that? And so this experience which I can see has had some really synchronous elements to it has allowed me to understand that I can deal with things differently. I don't have to do that. I don't have to be affected by what takes place because actually it could turn out to be something entirely different to what I think it is. Entirely different. That I couldn't even have imagined. And that is a big lesson. That is a gift. And that's why I'm making this recording.
