New Year

The podcast hosts, Carmi and her daughter Nia, discuss their goals for the year 2024. Carmi's professional goal is to expand her business and provide mental health services in more states. Her personal goal is to focus on mothering as her daughter goes off to college. Nia's professional goals include pursuing dance seriously and getting another job to support herself. Her personal goal is to fully become the person she wants to be. They both reflect on the pressure and stress of senior year and express excitement for the future. They also discuss an upcoming trip and the importance of planning and goal setting. All right. Hey, welcome to Beauty and Perspective. Well, this is a podcast where my daughter and I just talk about various topics, tackling it through the lens of a therapist mom, which is me, and my daughter, Nia. Hey, guys. So I am Carmi Araser, owner of Descent Horizons, a licensed therapist and a life coach. And I'm here with my lovely daughter, Nia. That was her voice you just heard. Nia, introduce yourself a bit. Hey, guys. I'm Nia, her insightful daughter. What are we talking about today? Well, I'm thinking it is 2024. It's a brand new year. So I guess the obvious topic would be, what are your goals for 2024? My goals would be, I have a lot of goals. So what do we, how general do we want to, do we want to take this? Well, how much do you want to share with the people? What are your goals? So I can start off based off of what you're saying. Okay. Well, I have a lot of goals too, but I guess sharing wise, I'll share a professional goal and a personal goal. So a professional goal, I want to expand the business this year and double the amount of states that we provide mental health services to. What are the states that it is now? Right now it's New York, Maryland, and Georgia. Okay. What are we trying to aim for? We're aiming for Florida. We're aiming for Florida, North Carolina, and New Jersey. We're not aiming for South Carolina too? We're not aiming for both of the Carolinas? Not yet. You know, that's the thing with goals. You kind of want to pace yourself. Okay. You don't want to over, I literally could say all 50 states in 2024 and then it comes to December 31st and be like, I only did three. Yeah. So I'm just starting with doubling. So if we're at three now, the end of the year, I want to be in six states. Okay. Yeah. I see that. And a personal goal, my personal goal, I think would more so be focused on mothering. I have you that's going off to college. Yeah. And then I have Aaron, who's going to be like a single kid in the home for the first time. So I really want to show up. Because remember I might be commuting. Very true. That's an option we've been toggling. Yes. Very, very true. We want to be prepared, just in case. But with the mindset, so it's more so of a personal mindset. Like how do I show up for both kids? One that is being prepared to go off on her own if she chooses to. And one that will still be home and now possibly get all the attention because now it's not being split. Oh, no, not all the attention. I'm still gonna have some of y'all. I hope so. We shall see. So those are my goals. Generally, I have other goals. But those are my two professional and personal. Okay. So my professional, for me, I have different ones. One would be to really get into the dance world. Like, you know, we've been talking about like, taking that seriously, which in a way we kind of are. Yeah, another professional as far as like working wise, I'd love to start tackling on more jobs, like within my job, because I'm able to do that, like, get more stuff. So I probably want to maybe like enhance that since I'm gonna have to be paying for a lot of, you know, my thing. I still love it. It's stressful out here in the streets. Now that you have to start paying your way towards that. Yeah. So you know, getting another job would be a professional goal for me. And then academic also goes along with professional. So my last one for professional together would be to finish senior year strong, obviously, like, I am in competition with myself. I want all A's. Yeah. Okay. And then I'd love to go to Clark and get the scholarships that I need and tackle that. So then I'm able to go to the school I want to go to. So that'd be that my personal goals. I would just say to not give up on, you know, the person that I want to become, you know, I don't want anything to hinder me, whether it's like my thoughts, or, you know, other people's opinions about it, like I want to just, you know, fully step into the person I believe I'm supposed to be. So, right. Yeah. Yeah. So I think pretty much what we highlighted were our general umbrella goals. There's honestly so much more like, yeah. Yeah. But it's gonna be nice to see this year unfold. I feel optimistic about it. I think what makes me optimistic about 2024 is how 2023 went. And so there were goals that were set in 2023. And although you accomplish them, I feel like I did. I did. But you know, sometimes things spill over into the next year and you revamp, you evaluate, but I think the focus was there. So it has me optimistic if I was able to progress as much as I did in 2023, that 2024 is even going to be more lit. I hope so. I'm excited. You're excited about 24? Well, when I'm thinking about what I'm excited about, though, I jump forward to like the summer when everything is done and out the way. Yeah. And you're able to like enjoy yourself. I'm excited for that. This one that we're in right now is the unknown. It's a little wishy-washy, but I'm excited for like the end of the tunnel. Yeah. I'd say. There's so much preparation right now for what you're going into next. Gotta kind of give you a warning, though. It doesn't stop. It's always going to be something next. I see that. I can hear that. But I mean, at the same time, people can say the same thing about, you know, the beginning of high school and I was able to knock it out. But there's just something about senior year that like the pressure and stress was just added. So I feel like I might be able to feel a sense of relief or a release when it's all done. And then it will rejuvenate me for the next task that I have to do. Yeah. Good way to put it. And the caution is that if you see senior year feeling as heavy as it is, and you have that summer, like you say, oh, and then in the summer, I'll be able to relax, take it in from all that you can because then it's going to be I'm a freshman in college and now the pressure of this where, you know, there's way more autonomy when you go to college and you're choosing your classes and you're right, you know, there's so much more. So the pressure doesn't stop. But when you have those moments where it can't stop, like in the summer, there's no real reason to feel academic pressure to, you know, live it up. Yeah, we are. Why did I say that? Why did you say that? We're going to be lit this summer. We're going to be lit. It's the big 18. Do you know what I mean? I'm excited for you. And you're still rolling with your same friends that you were rolling with when we were talking episode two, right? Yes, y'all. I'm still my dawgs, even though we just got into it today. But, you know, at the end of the day, like, you know, it's just a whole bunch of girls up in that group chat. So, of course, it's going to be some cat drama. But, you know, we're going to be just fine. It was about spring break. Oh, yeah. All right. I guess we'll unravel that at a later time since I'm the chaperone for spring break. I want to know what you guys are dragging me into. No, it wasn't much. It was just really just like, we didn't know if one of us was going to go. And I was upset because it's like, it's the principle. If one if somebody isn't going to go, why does the rest of the group have to like, now sit down and not do anything? You know what I mean? So I was saying that that is lame. That's mad boring. Like, so what are you suggesting? You're suggesting that you guys go anyways, or the person that isn't trying to go sacrifice and make the benefit for the group, you know, but to flunk out on something that's, you know, this big, it's spring break, and we're about to graduate. Like, I was like, that is phony. Well, what's the reason? Just like complications, but like, it's just extraness, extraness and like complications. It's stuff that could be worked out. You gotta give an example. So it can make sense. Okay, so like, she said, Oh, what about gas? We don't even know what hotel we're going to right now. And I'm like, we could communicate that at any time. Like, why are you like making it? Like, this is such a big thing to you. So I'm just like, if you don't want to go, don't go. But it's like, when everyone else is talking about now, you know, I don't want to go then it's just like, oh my god. No, I can't go on. No check for spring break. And I want to be with my friends. Like, we got to graduate, you know, but we were able to resolve that partially. But you know, we're trying to go out skating tonight. So I mean, those are still my dogs. Okay, but they actually they, it's just they just some girls. Well, you got to remember to or at least acknowledge that this would be the first trip you guys go away together for the first time. So there's probably some nervousness, some anxiety behind it, or never having had done this before, that now it may show up like, oh my gosh, we don't have any gas money. But really, what's driving that is, I've never done this before. This is a little scary. No, but like calculations for gas money, like we don't have it all figured out. Like we're not prepared. And there's so much that we have to prepare for. And it's like, no, we're not. Like, we're driving, you know, I'm saying we can calculate the contributions to gas, we can calculate the contributions to the hotel. Like, it's not that. Yeah, not that deep. Yeah. I'm glad you're even going in this direction. Because it makes sense. When you plan, it makes the nervousness subside, or the anxiety if we were to use that heavier term behind it. When you plan, it makes it feel better. So we're sitting here talking about goal setting. That is a good segue. Yeah, when we're talking about goal planning, it's like you could walk into a year and go, you know what, this is gonna be the best year ever. New year, new me. And like I mentioned before, it comes to December 31. And it's like, what did I do this whole year? I ain't doing nothing. The aspect of planning makes such a difference in all of it, like how you plan and, and how you execute the plan. And I'm just coming up with a plan and then going, this is a nice plan. I keep going, okay, but these are the steps that I'm going to take to get to where I'm going. How are you with planning? I plan like how do teenagers plan? Well, I would not say that I'm the average teenager. But I'll tell you how I plan with the planner that you gave me. I mean, the things that I have to do, I put it down on my planner. But every day, like with simple tasks, like academic tasks, I would go on my notes, and I would just write a list of the things I have to complete. And just complete it. Yeah. That's how I plan. How do you plan? I have to learn to plan better. I used to plan where I write everything down, or I had a plan for plans. Oh my god, this is my planet. It's over. This is this is the next plan. But what I found for myself was my planning created anxiety. And so yeah, just like being so rigid or it has to happen this way. And if it doesn't happen, like how I keep mentioning, then December 31st comes, and you do that reflection. And instead of being proud of myself, because there's some progression, I'm more upset because I didn't accomplish certain things that were on the plan. So I have to learn to be flexible in my plan. I feel that flexibility is something that everybody should obtain in this life. Everything is so fluctuating. So it's like to try and cling on to something. I mean, it's like a never ending cycle. So in that flexibility, I try to be flexible. Yeah, that's a goal too. Yeah. So planning is great. But being flexible is definitely needed so that you're not too hard on yourself. Yes. Why do you say that? Because that's like a cracked code just now. Like, yeah, you know, because you want to feel good in it. Like we'll you'll create this vision for the year. But it's supposed to be a vision that makes you feel good, not bad. But if the planning to get to the vision makes you feel bad, then you're working against yourself. Yeah, that was I shouldn't do that. Yeah. So those are some tips to go setting. I'm going to kind of just recap on what we've been talking about, get some tips on goal setting. And then we'll close out. So first, definitely cloud find your vision. What is it that you actually want to do? What does that look like? What does it feel like? If you visualize it? What do you see? So when you're talking about going to college, what does that look like walking into your first first semester first? I can see it. I can see it already. clarifying that vision. What does that look like? How am I going to feel when best in horizons is now in three more states? Create the vision, you got to see it. And then you create those goals. You know, a lot of people use the terminology of SMART goals. And SMART being more so an acronym, specific, what specifically you want to do measurable? Is it achievable? Can you actually do it? Is it relevant to your life? And what is the timeframe, kind of just really putting it down, right? And then you create a schedule. How does that work? So if I'm famous, the one who do these are the goals in January, what do I want that to look like February kind of create some type of schedule that's working towards your goals, so that it prevents procrastination again, it doesn't become December 31. And you're like, I really good goal and did nothing with it, right? Let that not be a screen. It will not be we will hold each other accountable. Yes. And then review and adjust. So yeah, you create the schedule, but that's that whole rigid side of it. We were talking about like it not being so rigid that, you know, if I said in March, I'm going to accomplish this, and I didn't, I can't then say, well, now there's still April, just move it in April, be able to review and adjust. You know, all of this is taking power over your life, taking power over the things that you do, the decisions you make on a daily basis, allowing them to feed into a bigger purpose, really staying positive, a positive mindset is going to help throughout. So that's why we really don't want to be so rigid and then get discouraged because it's hard to keep moving. But you also have to just to put this nugget and you have to watch your around because that can also affect your positivity or energy. So you got to watch who you keep close to you watch within your ear. Very true. Another topic in and of itself. But yes, staying positive, for sure. What you expose yourself to. So you're talking about people around you. But what you expose yourself to what you're listening to, who has your ear, like you said, who has your ear. And finally, what I would say that helps with goal setting, for sure, is celebrating your small wins. Like for me, I know at the end of each month, I'm celebrating what I accomplished that month, based on the goal that I've done. And that celebration could be simply me saying, I'm going to go treat myself to a massage, because I did really, really good. Or, you know, you know, I like to go out to eat. So I'll try a whole new restaurant, like not somewhere that I've been to before. But I'm going to treat myself, I did really good. This month, you got to celebrate your small wins. Because again, if we're thinking mental health, quality of life, you want to be able to stop and smell the roses. If it's always about constantly achieving goals, and having to check that off, there's a level of pressure with that, that won't promote quality of life. But if you're able to still be goal driven, but stop and celebrate, it's like you have the best of both worlds. Like I'm still winning, but I feel good while I'm winning. That's the best way to approach it, in my opinion. Well, in my professional opinion as well. I agree. Yeah. And so those are some tips on goal setting. So 2024 is going to be an amazing year. It is. With flexibility. Speak it into existence. That's right. That's right. Any final words to close us out for this episode? Stay blessed, everyone. Stay blessed. Keep your head high. And yes, stay blessed. And I would just say, Hey, let's go set for 2024. Make it an amazing year. We have way more control over things we don't think we do, but can and to make it a much better, a better life, better perspective, better outcome. Bye. Bye, guys.