Grandpa vs. The Big Egg

The speaker starts by giving a weather update and mentioning a recent deposition. They talk about how someone thanked them for their help, even though they didn't do anything. They mention that they have to deal with the situation again next week. Then, they switch to a childhood memory of their grandfather finding a large egg and later discovering it was actually brought from work by their father. They talk about how their grandfather was embarrassed and how they miss him. The speaker ends by mentioning a dream they had where they saw their grandfather and saying goodbye. Good morning. Welcome back. We are on the cup. Off the cup. Off the cup. Oh my god. Too early in the morning. Haven't had my coffee yet. It is now 646 AM with a whopping 66 degrees right here in Bradenton, Florida. Says it's mostly clear. Not sure how this day is going to turn. I haven't looked at the weather channel yet. But anyhow, I just wanted to add something from yesterday's episode. After I went to the deposition, the following day the dude that got himself into trouble came and thanked me for, you know, talking to the attorney. And I looked at him and I thought, why is he thanking me? Because I didn't do him any favors. In fact, I don't think I did him anything good at all. I didn't want to be there. I had no reason to be there again. All hearsay. But he thanked me. I told him, don't thank me. I had to go. If I didn't show up, I would have been in jail. So, keep your thank yous to yourself. And I said, I don't want to go through this again. Well, I would appreciate it if you would back me up. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. We're not going to go through that again. No. But here I am again. We're going to go sometime next week. I'll let you know how that turns out. Okay? So, we're going to go on to a different subject today. I was just thinking about something yesterday that happened when I was a kid. I was raised with my three brothers and two sisters out in a little community outside of Marcellus, New York. I know I've got a couple of friends that know exactly where I'm talking about. It's out on Route 20. Scenic Route 20, they called it. Or Route 20, depending on where you're coming from. Cherry Valley Turnpike. We know where that is. Very beautiful countryside. I grew up on my grandfather's farm. And one day, one morning, my grandfather decided to do my sister's chores. She had the chore of feeding the chickens. Well, she had this bad habit of not getting up in the morning and making it to the school bus. So, my grandfather, he decided that he would help her out. So, he fed the chickens and collected the eggs, and we were already off to school. And so, we got home from school that afternoon, and my grandfather was, oh, tickled to death. He was retired. Older gentleman. He was about 69, 70 years old. And he had this thing sitting up on our buffet table. Buffet table is one of these big old wooden mirror-type things where you set food on when you have a party. Anyhow, there was this big, huge egg sitting up on the table. And he was bragging. He says, look what my chickens laid. Oh, my Lord, look at that. And it was huge. I mean, it was huge. So, we were all commenting on it, and I said, man, that bird must have really strained to lay that sucker. I mean, oof. Talk about your large eggs. I mean, this could have been a triple, quadruple yolker. I mean, I've seen double yolkers, triple yolkers, but this one was big enough to have a dozen eggs in it. Dumb little girl here, you know. So, we talked about it. We laughed about it. Grandpa went and bragged to the neighbors. Oh, he was so pleased with his chickens that laid such a wonderful, wonderful gift for him. Oh, he was so happy. He was just tickled to death. He went to every single neighbor in the neighborhood, you know, carried that egg all day long. So, it became supper time, about 5, 6 o'clock. Dad comes home. We sit down to dinner. And normally, you know, we don't talk a lot during the dinner table because we're not allowed to talk a lot while we're eating. But Dad kind of let it slide, and, you know, we were all gung-ho on this egg. And so, we're laughing. We're cutting up. And we asked Grandpa if he changed, you know, the grain or whatever on the egg, you know, the chickens. And he said, no, no, no. I said, well, you know, what was it? He said, I don't know. He said, it was just, you know, it was just there this morning. He says, you know, I took it to and picked it up and brought it in. And he says, I didn't even dare want to open it up. So, we're sitting there. We're laughing and talking and carrying on. And I said, Daddy, have you ever seen an egg that big before? And he's sitting down there with this nonchalant face, you know, very dry, very straightforward, and, you know, a lot of noise going on between six kids and, you know, three adults. He says, yeah. Dead silence. You could hear a pin drop. In fact, I think somebody dropped a fork. But anyhow, didn't hear a word. And we all looked at him. He says, yeah, I've seen one that big before. Sure. I looked at him. I said, what do you mean, Dad? He says, looks like the one I put in the chicken coop last night. And I looked at him. My granddaughter looked at him. I fell off my seat laughing. I couldn't believe it. I mean, it was just so funny. And I almost wet myself. I almost wet myself when I heard that. And he said, yeah, we have these ducks where I work at. We have this pond. And so they laid these eggs. And he says, I brought it home last night. But, you know, the kid had already, you know, fed the chickens, collected the eggs. So, you know, I didn't pay it no mind. He says, I knew you should, you know, do it in the morning. No problem. Egg laid there all night, you know, the birds, you know, just hung out with it. And my grandfather said, you son of a bee. You son of a bee. What the heck? Grandpa didn't use heck, but still. What the heck did you do? He just stumbled on his words. And he says, well, it was meant for my sister. Again, I don't like to mention words, names, because, you know, I could get in trouble. And my dad said, but it's even better now that you got it. My dad and my grandfather, you know, they had conflicts sometimes because it's my mother's father. But anyhow. And I laughed even harder. Again, I fell off my seat. I couldn't hold myself. I mean, I had one of those laughing spells. You just could not stop. You had to just keep laughing and laughing and laughing. And I'm listening to my grandfather, and he says, you son of a bee. He says, I went to every single neighbor and showed them that egg. I showed them all. He says, now you've embarrassed me. He said, Glenn, meaning my grandfather, he said, he says, you're the damn farmer. You couldn't tell a hen egg from a goose egg? Who's the SOB? I laugh to this day. I was only a kid. I was about 10, 11 years old, and I still remember that like it was yesterday. Oh, my God. My grandfather was so embarrassed. I think he wanted to get up from that table and go down at the other end of the table and whack the bejeevers out of my dad. And my father just sat there and looked at all of us. And it was just so funny. So, so funny. Yeah, it was really funnier because my grandfather got it. It was meant for my sister who usually did the collecting of the eggs. But it was meant for her. It was meant for her. It was just so funny. I don't wet myself, but it was just so funny. It's just so many times that there's a funny thing that goes on back in the day. And my grandfather, I think, was the brunt of it a lot of times. You know, I loved that man. Oh, he would tell stories. He would tell stories. You know, when he got older, it was sad because he would forget things. He would really forget things. I had moved away, and I guess maybe I didn't visit often enough. And I miss him to this day. He passed away in 1989. He was 89 years old when he passed away. And it was around Thanksgiving, so Thanksgiving is really a very sad time of year for me. Yeah, I still celebrate Thanksgiving, but it's very solemn for me. But it got to the point where he didn't remember who I was. So I went to visit him one day. And I lived in Delaware at the time. And I sat and talked to him. And for a moment, he remembered who I was. He remembered. And then the next moment, he says, I have a granddaughter. And I said, yeah, Grandpa, I'm your granddaughter. Oh, what's your name? I said, Grandpa, it's Cindy. He says, oh, I have a granddaughter by the name of Cindy. I think she lives in Delaware. And it just kind of surprised me that, you know, as you get older, you have a tendency to go back to either forgetting or go back to where you don't remember where you're at or who you are or who your family is. And that was kind of hurtful at that time. It was sad, but I knew. I knew what he was going through. I mean, I had been warned, but it still hurt. It still hurt. And I missed him. I miss him still. I mean, he died over 30 years ago maybe, 1970, 1989. This is 2023. So, yeah, quite a while ago. But I could still picture him in my mind. He had that pipe. And when he passed away, I went to the funeral. I came home and I went to the funeral. It took me eight hours from Delaware to New York to see him. And I fell asleep. And I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to him before he passed, which was very hurtful. But I laid there on the sofa in the old house, and I was napping. I saw in my mind, I saw him. He always had this long coat and this gray suit and this hat. This Fidero hat. Fidero? Fidero. But he always had this Sunday hat that he always wore. Every Sunday, he went out to his family's house, his sister's house, or whoever was still around at the time. And he always wore that hat. But in this dream of mine, I could see him. And he was just standing there in this bright light, and I could see him so vividly. So, so vividly. And he looked at me, and he took that hat off, and he waved. He waved. And I started crying. And I see that image of him all the time. I miss him. I really do miss him. And I always say, I love you, Grandpa. I'll see you one day. I'll see you. Thanks for listening. I'll talk to you again soon. Bye.