one night

Hello and welcome to the shit show. I am Jessica and to the left of me I have a man with a master plan or no plan, depending on how you look at it. Um, I'm Maya Cherish, whatever you want to call me. And, did you lose that one? Nope. Okay, um, and we have a guest in the studio today, Kawani. Say hello. I'm here. So, what we're going to be talking about today is, um, how one night stands and how other things work as far as how men think and women think. So, go ahead, sure. How are you going to talk about it? Well, so we have a friend, not my friend, your friend, Alicia, who wanted to introduce you to her friend, correct? No, no, no, I'm asking how you're going to talk, have you ever had a one night stand? I have not. I haven't either. Kawani, have you had a one night stand? Yes, I have. Well, then we have somebody that can answer the question. Okay, awesome. So, with that one night stand, how was, was it just that, that was it, didn't talk, text, nothing, or was this before texting and phones were? No, this was right at the beginning of texting, I'd say about 2002. And how were you guys introduced to each other? Was it supposed to be like a blind date type of thing or? One was a blind date, the others was just meeting on the street or crossing paths, maybe even in a grocery store. Okay, so meeting on the street, was that a hooker or? He said they met on the street, he didn't pay for it off the street. Well, I'm just curious, I'm just wondering. In a hooker, that would be a one night stand, because that bitch ain't coming back. Well, if you got enough money, she would. I would never pay for it. Um, so. You can't say that, you're married, you pay for it. Okay, I guess that. And yes, in a way, I guess I didn't tell you this, just saying. Before you asked. Whatever. So, now, you've had more than one one night stand. Yes. Okay, and how did that go, like morally, let's say. Like, you just did it, hit it, quit it, and that was it. Morally, it was more about the nominee. There was more times out of one that I didn't get any, which was fine. So, was it, was there any feeling at all? None, no feelings. Okay, so now let's get back to Jer. So, now. My sister prefers them. What? My sister prefers one night stands. Okay, so maybe we should get her opinion on something. She won't talk in there. Yeah, I know. But we could ask her and then come and say. So, your friend, Alicia, wanted you to meet another, her friend, Alicia. Right. So, which you haven't met yet. Nope. But you still do. But I still want to, yes. And you've been talking to her, correct? Here and now, every now and again, yes. And you guys have talked, texted, you guys have met, are supposed to have met, how many times? Twice. And because? She got hung up on one, and the other one, she couldn't get a babysitter, and spending time with the kids is more important than going to a bar to meet somebody. True. Totally true. But now, do you think that this is going back to our last podcast, where it's a friend zone type of thing? It can't be a friend zone to somebody you have never met. You can't be thrown into a friend zone without meeting somebody. Okay, so. But now, could it be because, well, no, it can't really be that either, because she meets people all the time. So, never mind, I don't know where the fuck I'd go with that one. Okay, and I'm the blonde. So, really? Is that what we're going to go with? Well, I hope. I hope? Gertie eats that. Now, let's talk about Marianne. Okay. And we're using real names. This was Jerry and I did to use real names. I didn't want to use them. Were you scared? No, I just don't want people to be pissed off. Well, if they get pissed off, that's their problem. But I don't want to fuck up anything for you. Sure happens. Okay. Why would you fuck up anything for me? Well, because you're getting some. So? And then, after this, what if you don't get none? Then, back to normal? Or back to 25. Yeah, cause fuck. Should work that angle, too. So, with Marianne, this has been a two-night stand. So, morally, well, not morally. You can't really say two-night stand. Okay, one-night stand twice in a row. It has to be a one-night stand. A one-night stand, that's just it. It's one night, that's it. Okay, so now, with two times, obviously, you hit it off great the first night, correct? Or there wouldn't have been a second time, correct? Well, the first time I met her was at the bar and then the after party, but nothing happened that night. Okay. You got to know her, though. She got to know you. Did you guys talk? A little bit. Yeah, a little bit. So, who were you trying to talk to before then? Before her? Before Marianne? Uh-huh. Alicia and us talking to this. Okay, that's another thing that I think we should talk about. The only one that has a problem with that is you. Well, that's what I'd like for our listeners, if they could give us some comments, feedback, on how young is too young or how old is too old. Okay, but everybody has their own opinion about that, and that goes back to why should it matter as long as both are okay with it? Okay, I understand. And as long as they're an adult and about where they need to be, why does it matter? What if she was 18? Then no. Why no? Because to me, 21's the adult, not 18. 18, they're still a child. Okay, and you think that by the time 25 hits, they're all mature and they know what they're doing? No, they're not. But they can make the decision knowing, because normally 25-year-olds are on their own. So they're an adult. They can make an adult decision. So let's go for our listeners. So Des is 25 years old. Jer has been talking to her, and it has been, I think that she is in a shitty position. And I think that yes, she should be treated better, and that she should probably get out of the relationship that she's in, from what I hear. And so for that reason, I can see it. But now, you've got to understand. Like, think about it. We've been through this, but go ahead. Well, we've been through this, but our listeners haven't. Go ahead. So with Casey, okay, who is you raised and Kawani raised, she's 25. Okay. So how would you feel if she slept with a 50-year-old then? I wouldn't be happy with it, but it doesn't matter what I think. She's 25. She's an adult. Go ahead, Kawani. Honestly, it doesn't matter, as long as she's happy and he treats her right. That's all that matters to me, as far as age goes. It doesn't matter. So you're okay with our daughter sleeping with a 50-year-old man? If she's happy. Okay, if she's happy, yeah. So how old is too old? What would be? There's no such thing as too old, honestly. To each his own perspective on what they feel is old. Whatever their perspectives are, they just go with that. Honestly, there shouldn't be or see an issue with an age gap in people, as far as relationships go. And what about the cougars? You got the 25-year-old guy sleeping with the 40-something-year-old woman. That's okay? See, that's a... See, you can't answer it because you don't know. Yeah, I can't answer that. Right. So now, but like with females, it's different. How the fuck is it different? I just kept on telling you. You got 25-year-olds that'll sleep with the 40-something-year-old female, and the female's okay with it. But what? So because a 47-year-old man can attract a 25-ish female? It's a problem. Well, what kind of... I think it has a daddy issue type thing, in my personal opinion. Not all the time. Okay, so is this like grown-ups where what's-his-name is in older women? Who's into older women? Oh, oh, Rob Schneider, he's into that. Possible. Okay, but now if you want to go back to the grown-ups thing, he was in the Catholic basketball team. He was, what, 13, hitting on basically like his teacher, and then they end up together. That's a little suspicious there. Well, yeah, that's, I mean, that's a woman that has obviously no morals, but... Maybe she has mommy issues. Oh, God, wow. Right? It's a daddy issue for the other way, so maybe he has mommy issues. Okay, so now, is it a trophy thing? Is it a, okay, well, I'm this old, so if I get... To some, probably. To others, no. Was red a trophy thing to me? No. Okay, and you're sure about that? The trophy thing to me? I'm positive about that. But you were happy that you had a younger... No, I can throw that, like, when you want to try to make fun of me, and I tell you, you just get mad because I can pull a 29-year-old. Like when we were talking about, when our kids were saying, when we talked about our kids, because they think you're older than I am. I just think they do that just to piss me off, but... You think they do that just to piss you off? They know that you're way older than I am. Apparently not. Okay. They've known since they was way little. Oh, my gosh. Well, if you ask our son, he asks me all the time, how old are you, really? But, okay, so, I'm not going to say, um. I need to come up with a new word. That was the first time that I said it. We can go back and listen. I need a new word. You're right. It's no longer on. It's starting to sound like, uh. No. It's not at all. God damn it. Now that's all I have. Now that's all I have. I don't have anything else to say. You don't have anything else but, uh, uh, uh, uh. Yeah, if anybody out there can give me a new word to say other than, um, or uh, that would be awesome. Now I'm just stuck on it now. It's just going to be, um. Okay. I don't know why the both of you are laughing at me. I don't either. We're both still trying to figure that one out. Well, when you figure it out, let me know. Because, yeah. Because, uh. So. Shit. Now I, I just, now I'm speechless. So now you're going to have to stop because now all I can say is. You're the one that wants to ask all these god damn questions. Okay. Okay. Well, I just wanted to know. Because I know how you are. So with the one night stand thing, or however, whatever you want to call it. Where is your feelings at right now? My feelings with Marianne? Yes. The one that you had the. I like her, but I mean we're totally opposite. She's into shit that I'm not into and vice versa. So, I mean, I don't know. You never know where the future will hold, but I mean. What kind of differences do you guys have? What is totally opposite? Music wise. She's into. Louder things than I'm into. She likes the bar scene. I don't. Now, granted. I was going to say. Now, granted, the last few days. The last few. Okay. What do you mean the last few? Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. That's a few. That's four. Okay. That's more than a few. How's that more than a few? A few is three. Look it up. So, then you've been. Never mind. I'll leave it alone. I'll leave it alone. I'll leave it alone. You're over here just being silent. So, go ahead and speak. When I have something to say, I'll say it. Okay. Damn it. Give me a different word. I can't give you a different word. Sarsaparilla. Sarsaparilla. Sarsaparilla. That sounds like a safe word. Hey, what you two do behind closed doors is none of my business. Sarsaparilla. I can't. I can't. I can't. It doesn't work. I'm trying. It doesn't work. So, beyond that then, how do you think she's feeling? I couldn't answer that. I don't know. You haven't asked her? I've known her for three days. You want me to... How are you feeling? She knows my three-year plan. And you're still on your three-year plan. I am on my three-year plan. Okay. So now, Mary Ann is friends with Alicia. With both Alicia's, yes. With both Alicia's. So, now, do you say that one of the Alicia's is a bartender? Or no? One works at the den? No, that's intimate. That's close to me. Now, you ended up meeting her, though, and talking, correct? I met her. And I talked to her for a second. Like one second or five seconds? Hi, my name is Jeremiah. That's pretty much as far as that went. Okay. Because she was obviously hung up, correct? Yes. Okay. Now... I wonder if they can hear her screaming upstairs. I don't know. What is... I want to know from listeners what they feel about one-night stands. How... When does it get to the point, if it's just a one-night stand, hit it and quit it, how did it become a two-day, hit it, is it still a hit it and quit it? No, that doesn't look... The one-night stand is like... It speaks for itself. One-night stand. Okay, but this turned into a... What? I'll cut in real quick. This is just a one-night stand. It's just a one-night stand as it states in the sentence. If it goes to a second night, if more than always, it's like he's good enough for her to call back. So, at this point, it's just about the sex. As far as feelings and emotions go, until one or the other says something, then it's just sex. Okay, so what happens if one of them does say something? Then that's when there's going to have to be a discussion between me and her on what goes on from there. Now, are you going to continue to pursue her? I don't have to pursue. So, she's pursuing you. She doesn't have to pursue. What's left to pursue? Well, are you planning on your whole Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday thing? What about my Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday thing? I was with her on Saturday and Sunday. So now, is this a bar that you're now attending? No, I don't plan on going to the bar every weekend, every day. That's not my thing anymore. Plus, with my heart condition, I can't be doing that all the time. I won't make it. It's not funny. Why are you laughing about your heart condition? What else am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to just sit and do nothing and just protect that at all means? No. So, why can't I laugh about it? Why can't I enjoy joking about it? Because of our children? Maybe? Have you thought about that? Do you think they want you joking about it? Bird will give a shit. Yeah, Bird cracks on me about it. Well, she does about everybody. Okay, so you can't say that, either. Okay, back to the whole thing. Now, when you had a one night stand, or how many did you have? Two, he said. Two? Oh, he's had more than two, he just mentioned two. Oh, how many have you had? Don't worry about it. I'm not worried about it, this is for the show. Oh. I lost count. Oh my God, really? I'm curious, what's your better count? Yeah, what is it? I should stop counting at five. Okay, so were these people that you were supposed to meet, were they blind dates, were they friend hookups? All but one was a friend hookup. It was supposed to be a blind date, we met, went to our own house. Me and her went our way, and then my brother and his wife went theirs. And one thing led to another, and I'm born deaf. And after that, I never heard from her again. That was what changed my whole perspective on one night stands, and what I need to change about myself when it comes to sex. Was that one the last one night stand? Because she basically bounced on you to let you know what it feels like to have the one night stand? No, it was basically the beginning of why I started having one night stands. I started making my one night stands less and less about me, and more about the person I was sleeping with. And therefore, there were many nights where I didn't get to finish, and I was okay with it. Half of them ended up calling back, and the other half, I never heard from them again, which I was okay with. And that's how I saw it, and that's just how it went. It was all about them, it was never about me. Interesting, so that was, she was the last one? No, she was the start. Okay, she was the first one. Yeah, she was what caused the chain reaction of where it started being less and less about me when it comes to sex. And I became more and more about the females than myself. Yeah, it was, I guess, makes it selfish, I guess. Because that's all I did was made it about them, it was never about me. As soon as I was done, half of them would say, okay, you gotta go, and I left. And I was okay with that. Some of them ended up just spending the night, and then I was gone the next day, and then I would never hear from them again. Which I learned to accept, and move on from there. And I'm okay with that. So why is that selfish? I guess because I'm not taking care of myself, I'm only doing it for them. And that's all I was doing it for, it was for them, it was never for me. That wouldn't be selfish. Yeah, that's not selfish. That's the opposite. I don't know what to call it then, honestly. The more, the way I saw it was, the more I could make them come, the more happier they would be. The happier they were, and the higher the chances of them coming back. And it worked, maybe 10% of the time. Yeah, that's how it went. Another time it didn't matter, because the next day I brought a new female. Pretty much. And now, a question. So, I hate that you have to stand up constantly to do that. Talk from there. Oh my god, you guys, uh-uh. I'm not even, mm-mm. You guys want me to leave now? Don't worry, it'll be good, it's just a one night stand. Oh my god. Oh, shit. You guys, wow. If you guys could only see what just happened. Um, now, you think that it was selfish, which it totally wasn't. It was unselfish. Very unselfish. If that's how you think of, now is that how you think over time that you did this in the period of your life? That's the answer he said. Yeah, it's what I said. The more and more I did it, the more and more I felt that it's not about me, it's about them. The more and more it became about them, the happier it seemed to make me to know that I was making people happy, making people feel better about themselves through sex. Well, what about your happiness? Unfortunately, at that time, my happiness didn't count. Until 2012, I no longer needed to do those things and I met my partner, my partner in crime. I like you too, buddy. Yeah, she liked that. With some Oprah shit. Y'all need Jesus in your lives. What was it? What were we saying the other day? You don't need Jesus, you need some rednecks in your life? I had my share of rednecks too. What? He's had his share of rednecks too. Do you think, is there a lot of redneck females here? Oh, yeah. My voice keeps cutting out because I'm just getting over a cold, sorry. How many... How many are actually redneck? Do you know how many actually hicks are there in Salt Lake City? Not a lot, but, I mean, you go to Price and... You go to Price and that's a whole other story. Yep. That's, yeah, horrible. But it's true. Like, I couldn't believe the things that we saw that day. Amazing. So what other questions do you have for me about my weekend? Or, yeah, I was off work. It was a long weekend. Well, I'm sure it was definitely a long weekend. And then, so now... So now... Now back to the 25-year-old. Now, I have nothing, no qualms, I don't have nothing bad to say. Okay. But, do you just want to get her away from the situation that she's in? Yes, yes. She's in her... I really have never met the dude, but everything I've heard from him, I don't care for. And she deserves better. But, see, the problem is... See, I hung out with her on... Was that on Thursday night? Thursday or Friday, one of the two. They started blending together. Yeah, after a while. Her and Hallie came down to the bar. And she... Me and her talked and shit like that. And she says she has very little self-esteem because of the shit he says to her, stuff like that. But now, how real is it? Who knows, who's to say? But, you say 25-year-olds are like older... Or, well, whatever. Younger girls are like older men, you say they have daddy issues. She's really good friends with her dad, so... And he is... Not her dad. Her boyfriend is... 35, I think she said? So he's still 10 years older than her. So is it just because she likes, I mean, way older men, you think? Possible. I didn't get that far. See, I don't know. With me, there's... I couldn't be with somebody that was... Don't knock until you try it. Oh, hey, I can hear your phone on here. You know what? Did you put your phone on silent? I did, but you decided to say something that... Hey, Google. Yeah. That's not me, that's all you there, sunshine. That's what she said. I don't even want to know what she said anymore. So... Was this a period of time when you were drinking? Not all of it. Not all of it. Just, I'd say... Since 21 to... Just before 30. Yeah. Well, maybe 32. Nine years span, huh? Yeah. Just nothing but... Just pleasing people. At least you hope, because you didn't hear from them the next day, so... What made me know that I did do a good job is... Like the aftermath kind of stuff. In the morning and evenings? Yeah. Well, have you watched porn? Watched what? Porn. Not bad. Are you telling him he told me to play that game? No, we're not playing that fucking game. Well, he says, well, like... Well, I'll think about it. How long is this going to be again? It is going to be a new show. Here goes the shisho. Shisho. Bark it out, baby. You want to talk? Come tell me what you think. Four to five minutes and three hours. Fuck that, we started at the same time. If they can't keep it, fuck them. Yes, that's unfortunate. That's where I learned that mentality from is... If they can't, then I... I'm sorry, I can't help you. My stamina at the time wasn't... Wasn't obviously pretty good, but... I couldn't always keep that up. That time frame up. And now, obviously, I can't do that anymore. I couldn't keep it up for 45 minutes if I wanted to. Unless I called fucking Cialis or fucking got a blue pill. Well, honestly, the only time that I'm okay with... With me and my wife going anywhere over 20 minutes is... That we've both been drinking. That way, I know that... That's why you guys bounced early Friday. No, that's not what I was... So that's why you bounced early Friday. Well, I didn't have anything to drink because of that. I'm not going to touch my wife. She's trashed and I'm sober. I do have a little bit of that. Now, there is a line that I draw. And it's always been there. If she's drinking, I ain't touching her. Just wait a minute. Just lay in there. So... So she remembers it. How was... How did you meet... He already said how we meet. No, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about who you had your baby with. I don't know if you want me to say her name. I met my first wife. I was working at a bar called Dream On. That's where I met her. Her and her friend came in. It was supposed to be a one night stand. It ended up that way, but... For some reason, she called me two days later. And then she just kept calling back. And then she called back a month later because she was pregnant? Yeah. She called me and wanted to go to Wendover. Her parents, they invited me over. Went to Wendover. It was one of those three hour sessions. When we got back, she told me she was pregnant. Three hours? Fuck that. I got shit to do. Well, okay. I know, but... This is when you were how old, though? I was 24 at the time. See? 24. 24 years old? I still was... No. No. I got shit to do. Like what? More than just fucking humping in a bed for three hours. That's like watching the Titanic. Oh my God. Okay. So now... So Kalani puts on the Lord of the Rings trilogy and watches that while he bangs. There you go. There you go. That's one of his favorite shows, so... Well, see? I called her. I said, uh-huh. See? Now... So, like... I guess it's probably best if you bend over and catch and then you put your hands under your chin so you can watch TV while he's behind hitting it. No. It doesn't work that way. Oh, it doesn't work that way? Yeah. No. Oh, that would be good. Now, you felt that you had to marry her because she was having your child, correct? Correct. And wasn't... I don't even know if you want me to say her name. Can't tell? Yeah. She wasn't pregnant when we got married. We got married and then had a kid. And why did you guys get married? Good question. You ask most divorced people, why'd you get married? Good question. Well, and then... your last marriage... Okay. Why'd you get married? Um... Again, that's a good question. I guess that's when you thought you knew somebody that you loved and cared and thought that that would be the one that would bring it to the end with you. And... Then you find out different after they say, I do, because everything changes. Everything changes. Totally. Facts. Total facts. Um... But... Where... You know, that's probably not something for both of you to be agreeing on right now. Why? Because y'all married. And I'm like, well, shit changes after you say, I do. But they're all, well, you're all, yeah, they do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 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