radom sh!t

Hello and welcome to the Shit Show. I am Jessica and this is Jarrett. Hello, how are you? I'm doing great. So, today I am going to get asked questions that I have no idea what the topics are about and we'll see how it goes. So, we've talked about FriendZone. Yep. We've talked about One Night Shit. We have. Yep. Okay, so now what we're going to do is we're going to merge these. Okay. Okay. Okay, we're going to do FriendZone with the One Night Stand. Now, one of the questions that was asked is, does size matter? Okay, so these were questions that listeners actually posted, correct? Well, one listener said, hey, one's better than nothing, right? Okay, so does size matter for me? No. But, do you think it does to some? Yeah, definitely. Why? Well, because you have females out there that only like shirts. Okay, but the vagina. The vagina. Dude, that's fucking deep. There's a lot of people out there that probably have dry dick. Okay, but it's actually like seven inches deep. Okay, so people that have 12 inches plus, nine inches plus, that's still two inches of strength. Okay, you have a nine inch dick. You need a like, you need something in your life that can help you with that. I guess maybe they just need to let you go further maybe. That's horrible. I guess it would be wet, right? That's fucking horrible. That's like a colonoscopy or something. It could be like that movie, oh, some make a portal. What's that movie? Set Broken. Yeah, Mary and Zach make a portal. Yeah, when the dude, he's in a city called Chicago. Yeah, that's horrible. That's basically what that movie is about. I would think so. I don't know though. I wouldn't either. I mean, mine ain't that big. I mean, I goof around and joke around how small it is. I mean, I know it ain't that tiny, but it ain't that big either. But I think Joe Coy said best, the number one seller is what? What? Is that little tiny bullet. You only need two inches. Well, I think that if your size, if you can't get a woman off, then there's something going on. You need to work on your technique. Yeah. Well, I guess. I mean, I guess it's how you use it, right? Yeah, so yeah. Size to me doesn't matter. Okay, so size don't matter to you. So do you like showers or growers? Showers or growers. You know, look, this is shit that I don't know. So you're going to have to explain to me what a shower or a grower is. Okay, a shower is one that don't matter. Why do you have to put a fist there? It's like a little baby elephant arm, you know what I'm saying? Some people are like that, and some people, you know, they're shy about it, and so you play with them, and then they grow. Oh, okay. Wow, I don't know. I guess I've never actually looked or cared. I don't know. So a shower or a grower, I mean. You've never heard that saying? I've never heard that, no. Do you like the shower or do you like the grower? Well, let's see. Last time, I couldn't tell you on that one either. That's what I'm saying. These are more your questions than they are for me because. Well, it's finally nice for you to start asking these questions. So. Okay. How about blowjobs? Okay, what about them? How often do you think they should or. . . Okay, so, I mean, are we talking marriage? Are we talking relationship? Are we talking about. . . Well, we all know about marriage. Except that they say I do. That means I don't do that anymore, so. That's not necessarily true all the time. I mean, yeah, once you say I do a lot of changes. I mean, there's no doubt about that. So blowjobs? Yeah, blowjobs. Definitely. If he's your man, you want to, you know, have him happy. And he comes home, you drop his drawers, and, well, maybe after he takes a shower. You know what kind of work they do, right? And then, yeah, why not? I mean, you've got to realize only mean girls sit, so. . . And I am not a mean girl. Yeah, we already know. Yeah, apparently I've killed a lot of people. No, not people, kids. I've killed a lot of kids. I've killed a lot of kids by swallowing. But it is what it is. Okay, so first date. How far do you think the first date should be? Now, is it the date, or is it somebody that you meet at a bar, and it's like you're not supposed to. . . I mean, you just met at the bar. So that's totally different. Yeah, I mean, the bar is totally different for the simple fact that, I mean, you've got alcohol involved and other shit, so. . . Well, let's say. . . Let's say you met somebody on a date. Okay? So you make a date. Okay. How far do you think the first date should go? In your opinion. Well, I mean, it's like, do you make that move, and she wants you to make that move, and you don't do it? So then she thinks what's wrong with me. Then if you do try to do it, and she doesn't want it, then she's probably not going to go on a second date with you. So. . . So what. . . Me? I don't know. I guess it depends on the connection, on the. . . Okay, well, let's say you have a really good connection, you get along, so. . . I mean, I don't think, before you even try to kiss or anything like that, you at least have to confirm by, you know, telling them, Hey, I think it'd be nice to go on a second date with you. Yeah, that's a smooth way to approach it, I think. But, I mean. . . You think? Yeah. Then there's those times that you're just like, the connection is just crazy, and you're just like, shisho, shisho, shisho, shisho. There's those times that everything is going really, really well, and if I don't help you, you laugh at me. So, I mean, it's like, you and I were supposed to do it when I said. . . I did not know that you did. Okay. So, look what happened there. Okay. Two kids, ten years later. But, again, that wasn't a date thing, though, that was a meet. What's the difference between a meet and greet and a date? I mean. . . Well, a date, usually it's like a one-on-one thing where you go and get to know each other a little bit. This was just, we had that party at the warehouse, and you come over, and one thing led to another type thing, and blah, blah, blah, and yada, yada, yada, and here we are. So, yeah. So, I mean, what I'm saying is, I mean, it depends on the connection, it depends on, you know, the, I mean, with the dating. If you're going on a date and, with someone, and she's like, well, do you want to go back to my house for drinks? Then, yeah, you're getting laid. You think so? Yeah, definitely. See, I heard, where, couldn't I hear it from the show I watched, or, no, I watched it on TikTok. They said that the bra matches the panties, they're the ones that's actually probably not the guy. Um, see, I don't know about that, because I've never been the type to go into, like, Victoria's Secret and get my bra. It doesn't have to be Victoria's Secret. Yeah, I've never been that type of person, so, but if she asks you to come back for a drink or whatever, then, yeah, you're getting laid. So, when do you bring a friend in? When do you bring a friend in? What do you mean? Well, let's just move to the next topic, reason. Oh, my God. Wow, um, reason. I think that, when do you bring a friend in? If you, I mean, is that a second date question? I don't know, maybe. Is that a third date question? Or would it be a marriage question when the spice has gone out in the bedroom? The flame is gone, yeah. If that's gone, then why do you think bringing somebody else in would help? That might hurt you, or it'll help you. Definitely. Totally agree. Um, reasons, I think that a lot of people have had them. I am not one. Why are you laughing at me? Okay. Yeah, next topic. Next topic. Okay, let's see. What else do we have here? Oh, okay. Some women like to be eaten, some don't. Why? God, that is a good question, because I'm the only female here. Kind of hard to give you a percentage of how many, I mean, should we go two of ours? It might actually be a bad idea going around asking questions. Let's do it. All right. Then we'll, after we're done with this, we'll write down questions that we need to ask. We'll go through and just ask people to come in and ask questions. We'll talk to them and we'll come back to you. Hell yeah, I'm down for that. Let's get that done. What about swinging? What do you think of swingers? So, that goes back to the threesome thing. I mean, are you married? Are you just dating? There's a lot of open relationships. There is, and nowadays there's more. It's like if you're not doing something extracurricular activities in the bed, then it's like you're lame. And that's kind of sad. I guess I don't understand how swinging works. I mean, I guess you've got to be really basically open to whatever they do is fine, whatever you get to do is fine, but I don't know, I get attached. Yeah, I kind of do it. I couldn't swing. Yeah, there's no way. I know people that do swing, and their relationships are great, but I mean how can you sit there and watch your significant other fuck somebody else and be okay with it? But at the same time, you're not really watching them either. They could be going out on a date with somebody else. Yeah, I don't know how that works. Or even the swingers, they all get together. It's kind of like on the Christmas. You don't have parties, but the keys are in the book. If people really get that, that's a swinger's party. The car keys, you choose whose car keys. I don't know whether the guy or the girl, I'm not sure who chooses, but they could have a car key in whoever's car it belongs to, as soon as they go home with that. Fucked up the date. Fucked up the no-go, huh? You didn't know that. Where did you get that off of? Again, I don't remember who I heard it from, but, yeah. I mean, I didn't think of that either the first time. I think, okay, well, they're being responsible. Yeah, that's what I, yeah. And then I watch something, and they're like, yeah, that's the swinger's fault. Again, I don't know about swingers, but I can learn something new every day. Yeah, there's so much shit out there that I don't know. I mean, there's stuff that our son has had to tell me, and I'm trying. Like, I didn't know what a butt plug was. You didn't know what a butt plug was? No. Oh, wow. I had no fucking idea, and I just barely learned this, like, within the last six months. And then, like, you said, oh, that's a cute paper wedge. Yeah, probably. That's a really pretty glass set you have there. I like that. That little stand over here of these, like, ten things that are. Yeah, I have no idea what it was. So you know what animals these are? Yeah, yeah. Okay. And there's just, I just don't, that's just not, yeah, that's just not something that I would, you know. No? Anyway. We may have to talk to Kalani again. Fuck. We'll go to the Blue Boutique. No, we won't. You know how many animals go to Wyoming? They have a good shop up there. Yeah, have you been to them? Oh, yeah. I'm sure you have. I work in the Pacific. I work in the Pacific. Come on, man. Let's see. How about, which we talked a little bit about last time with Kalani, because 45 minutes is three hours. My God. But how long do you think the mansion lasts? I guess it depends. When I was younger, longer. The 45 minutes? Yeah, definitely. Three hours? That's insane. I don't know. Like, do you get a break in between there? You tell me. Your husband is the one who says 45 minutes is a fucking three hours. Three hours, fuck, I got shit to do. That was long ago. That was long ago when you did the three hours? Yeah. And now with how many seizures I have, there's no fucking way. I'm telling you, we should play that game. No, fuck you and the game. Fuck you. There's no game playing. So, yeah, that fucking 45 minutes, three hours, no. Max, for me, is like 30 minutes now. Yeah. There's no. Well, I guess my two and a half minutes are up, Belinda. See, and is that like. But, you know what, it doesn't matter because I use it well because obviously nobody's to blame. Yeah, so. Unless they get pissed off and they call me a little big fat motherfucker, but that's whatever. And see, that goes back. A lot of these questions can combine. Into one, I know. Into one, you know, like one question. But, yeah, three hours, that's insane. But there are people out there that do that. We'll have to mark that one down to ask people too. There you go. Yeah. I think, like I said, when we're done, I'll get on the phone with everybody I know and I'll type at least four or five questions and find out what they say. I see that, but I think that random. Yeah, random people would be better too. Would be better. Especially if you didn't know what's on their Facebook. Of course, we don't go live yet. I think once we get so many followers on Facebook. But if you go to the Jeff and Jer Facebook, there's another page, which is our actual Facebooks that follow, not be friends with. Yeah, I think that the first Facebook has more. Yeah, that regular Facebook has like 47 followers. And then the other one's got like eight. And that's the Jeff and Jer one. Yeah. Which is where you actually find the audio. Right. Maybe we can get somebody to go to the computer or something to figure that out and make it where it's just that page. Yeah. Does size matter? I say yes. Really? Why? You're a guy. So why? Just because I said yes. Is it? I mean, do you think that's what girls, females want? Sometimes, yeah. I mean, you over here, you know, stocking, you know. Oh, I want a big dick this. I want a big dick that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's how you use it. And if you can't get a woman off, like I said, with the size of your dick, then you need to figure out how to reuse it. Have you ever met anybody who doesn't want to get up? Yes. So what? They would rather please than get pleased. Get pleased. I know somebody like that, too. Which is weird, because I'm the type I like to please. I mean, it's not hard for me to get invited. And of course, you know, me and my boys, we always joke around, you know. It's like, well, we started the race at the same time. I don't know what her problem was. You know what I mean? We say stupid shit like that. And then, okay, so how many women out there do you think they work as? Oh, I think that's more than what people will even admit to. That they just want him to get fucking done, because he's not hitting spots. He's not doing what he wants. He needs to get done for her. And instead of just helping him and saying, hey, you know, harder, faster, to the left, to the right, you know, slip and slide, whatever. They're just like, oh, oh, oh. But, like, how do you know if a woman... I don't know. Because, like, you have females that... You have females that squirt. So, I mean, when that happens, you don't... I mean, and the ones that don't say they do that, that seems a nice description. Why? Because, I don't know, you're not expecting it, and then it hits you. And then you're like, oh, did I just get speed on? Well, I would have said that, but I've already known somebody else that does that before. So, no, I knew it wasn't that. Thank God. But, hey, now, now, now, hey, it's 2023. We ain't rolling out. The people who like to get peed on and shit on, good for you. Yeah, that's insane. Good for you. I am happy for you. I am not into that. I will not pee on you, and I will not shit on you. That shit's crazy. I don't understand. In my life, in my life, if somebody wanted me to shit on that shit, and then I'd do the pfft, and then splatter all over her face. What movie was that on? I don't know. Then what? Where he, where she's like at a party, and then she's like, he puts her on the bathtub. Oh, it's that movie, 47, or something like that. No, no, no, no. Oh, okay, I know which one you're talking about. Where she's sneezing and farting and stuff. Yeah, and it goes all over the back of the bathroom. Yeah, that was Hall Pass. But there's another one called Movie 47 where she wants to shit on her chest. So he goes and gets a big burrito and eats it and all that stuff. And he's ready to, he's ready to. She keeps putting him up, putting him up, you know, doing other shit. And he's not going to the bathroom so bad. He runs out the door or something, gets hit by a car and shit goes everywhere. That's horrible. Yeah, that movie's pretty funny. I like that one. So when a female fakes an orgasm, right, and then she wants you to come back, why? She wants you to come back? Yeah, for like round two. Good question. If she's faking it, why would she want to, what, does she think she's going to do something different the second time? I don't know. I mean, some people have their own, you know, little set moves that they do and call it good. Do you do the same moves every time? No. I don't. So you do something different every time too, please? Yeah, or at least try to. Now, they might be faking it, I don't know. But like I said, I've never had a complaint yet until I piss them off. So you piss a lot of people off? I piss a lot of people off. I got a mouth that likes to run. Yes, you do. And you don't give a shit what other people think about you. I do not. There's only certain people I care what they think of me other than that. You don't like me? Fuck you, I don't care. Yeah, totally agree. So now let's turn the question back on you about the pussy eating. Okay. What do you think? I'm all for it. How long? As long as she wants me to. Three hours. I'm hungry. And then that just, I, there's just no way. Anybody that will fucking sit there and get their pussy licked for three hours? I haven't met anybody like that. Now, I've been with somebody that will let me lick it for a long time, but it doesn't make sense. Let's go. Let's go where? Downtown. Downtown. Why are you going to call it that? What do you want me to call it? I don't know. Sex. Let's have sex. Oh, yeah, sex with fluid. Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about it. I'm just kidding. I don't want to call it that. Yeah, I've got to get rid of that word. I need to get rid of that word. I just don't know what else to say. You know what I think is funny, though? I mean, yeah, we talked about friendzone, which we really need to get back into that one here soon, because I'm kind of curious where it started and how it came about. What do you mean? Like, I mean, how long have you heard of babe and friendzone? What, the past 10 years? 20 years, maybe? Yeah, but it's happened. I know, but what was it? Before? Yeah. I don't know, because we weren't old enough. I mean, you're old enough, but. You're funny. I know, but what can I say? Should we talk to our kids about who's older? Okay, well, they're confused. Very confused, bro. Say it straight up. Yeah, I'm not sure. Back in the 80s, 70s. I mean, I'm sure even back in the 50s there was a friendzone thing. Of course, the 50s, that was more of a decade where, I mean, if you was going steady with somebody, I mean, that was straight. Yeah, but you know that you still had fingers in the 50s. You still had all this shit. Or else we wouldn't have porn, we wouldn't have toys, blow-ups, butt plugs, cockering. I don't get the whole butt plug thing. I don't know. I mean, some of them have a tail on them. Are you? You're serious. I'm dead serious. So now when some people. I seen a video the other day, these two women were crawling, and they had a leash on them. And they started barking at each other like they're fucking dogs. Okay. And their owner pulled back and said, no, no. Is that like a dominatrix thing? No, I think it's that stupid furry thing where people can identify as a dog. Okay. You know what I do? Yeah. What? I throw them out back in the fucking kennel. And then I'm going to tell them, then we got to go get your rating shot. And give them dog food and just water. Yeah, I. And make a shit and piss outside. I've seen that on my strange addiction. Yeah, that's fucking retarded. That's so dumb. The horse, he was a horse or something. But the shitty part is, is schools now are talking about putting glitter boxes and stuff in those restrooms for kids that identify as a furry. See, this shit's gone too fucking far. Way too far. Way too far. I mean, now they have the bathroom where. Unisex? Yeah. Yeah. I see motherfuckers going in there with my dog. Right? Right? Of course. I look good in orange. Well. I mean, I don't know how well I do in prison, but I look good in orange. Yeah. See, that's, I mean, that is, that's definitely a thing. I mean, how can you put a bathroom like that and you see a young girl go in and then you have these guys go in. Yeah, fuck that. That or they identify as a girl and go into the women's bathroom? Yeah. Fuck you. Yeah, that's totally, I agree. But yeah, shit has gotten crazy. That'd be a fuck around and find out. Yeah, I think shit has definitely gone crazy, but I mean, I don't, I don't care what you identify as. No, I mean, that's your life, your choice. I ain't here to judge you. I don't, I do have a. Well, I mean, we can talk about that another time maybe too, but I, I don't mind whether it's guy, girl, girl, girl, guy, guy, make it out or whatever, but if I can do it, fine. So, so, so. How do you like when they make out in a restaurant, shit? People don't even see that shit. Well, that's kind of rad. Any of them. Well. No, bar, I mean, but even doing, I've seen a lot of shit at bars and concerts. It's probably more than what I should have seen. Yeah, I, it's, it is what it is. I mean, your preference is your preference. Do what you gotta do. But next question. Next question. Next question. Well, I think we went from eating breakfast to fucking burying stuff. Okay. So you want the next question that was on the list? I think that goes with swingers too, the polygamy, polygamy? Polygamy. Polygamy? I don't know that word. Polygamy. Oh, we already know what polygamy is. We live in Utah. That's fucking wrong too. I don't know that one. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. Chit show. 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