Life after the kids leave home (Sept 23 Newsletter)

The Emptiness Syndrome is a common experience for parents when their children leave home, resulting in feelings of sadness, loss, and loneliness. Many parents have focused solely on their children and neglected other areas of their lives. This transition brings new challenges such as financial worries, finding a new purpose, and uncertainty about the future. Jeremy Dieter, a life and financial planner, offers coaching services to support parents during this stage of life. Through proper financial planning and finding new interests, parents can live a fulfilled life after their children leave home. Jeremy offers a free consultation call to discuss the support and help needed in navigating this new phase. Hello it's Jeremy Dieter with my newsletter for September 2023 in which I discuss the Emptiness Syndrome, its challenges and what you can do to live a fulfilled life after the kids leave home. In September 2015 we took my son to university in a distant part of the country instead of returning him to school, which he finished in July. I remember collecting him from school on his last day. After 7 years we knew parents, teachers and support staff well. Many have become friends and a few were on his family. So whilst he felt a sense of fulfilment it was accompanied by a profound sense of the ending of an era, with all the emotions accompanying it. September of 2015 was the worst as instead of getting everything ready for a return to school we let him go into the world on his own. I was a trustee of the school's alumni association at the time, recognising the long and close connection so many parents had with the school and the sense of loss and sadness as their last child left. We opened the association to past parents to help everyone stay connected with the school and each other, a move welcomed by many parents. The Emptiness Syndrome. Feelings of sadness, loss and loneliness, sometimes leading to anxiety, depression and decreased self-worth are expected now. This state of mind is unsurprising after all you have devoted the last 18 plus years to nurturing your young family and keeping them safe. It has been your job and you have just lost it. Commentators focus on this sense of purposelessness and grief. It is the most discussed aspect of life for parents after their children leave home. Indeed these feelings were common amongst parents I interviewed this year whilst researching how to support parents in these situations. However, they were not the only challenges. New Challenges. In the UK the average age at which couples start a family is between 27 and 32. Their children leave home between 18 and 22 and parents become emptiness around age 45 to 55. This timeline is similar in many parts of the world. So school ends at an age when much else is changing. Parents I interviewed tell me they have ignored or given a low priority to many other issues whilst focusing on their children's final school years. Even the most resourceful and determined parents struggle with these typical problems when their kids leave home. No peace of mind. You are worried because you don't know if your money is about to run out, your house is about to fail, your job is about to disappear and the kids don't ring. No purpose. The kids have gone and after 20 plus years of working to pay for them, supporting them and nurturing them you have no idea where to go next. No plans. You know it is time to reorganise your lives and finances but you don't know where to start or where you want to get to. And here is the thing. As your children leave school and head off alone you become anxious about the immediate consequences. You wonder about your purpose in life and you feel a sense of loss. However you are also at an age when many new and often unrelated challenges emerge. While I was able to use my valuable experience as a life and financial planner to navigate many of these issues I also sought help. It is my understanding that many couples would welcome a skilled helper and a facilitator to take them through the next stage of their lives. New coaching services. So if this is you please arrange a 20 minute consultation call to discuss the support and help you seek as you navigate your life after the kids leave home. I have made a few changes to my coaching business specifically to support couples and single parents whose kids have left home as they reorganise their lives for money so they can grow their wealth, find a new purpose and live the remainder of their lives with grace and elegance. So instead of constant anxiety imagine a life where you have organised your finances so well that after joining friends for a drink and a bike to meet you have no worries about providing your credit card knowing there is money in your bank and budget. Or you sit with your morning coffee to check your email and discover with delight that three more watercolour courses have sold overnight after your other half decided to use their newfound free time to turn a hobby into an online business. Then possibly use your Saturday mornings to get fit rather than driving your kids to football practice bringing a sense of achievement after you shave another 20k off your 10k time. And then you rent a villa in Italy for the first family holiday since the kids left home without getting into credit debt or jeopardising your retirement savings. Finally imagine you calmly discuss with your partner at New Year how do you want to spend your time and money this coming year without getting anxious or defensive about your aspirations or money. If this appeals to you please arrange a 20 minute consultation call to discuss and support and help you seek as you navigate your life after the kids leave home. This call is free, in complete confidence and without obligation on either side. To learn more before arranging a call please go to JeremyDeeds.com I really look forward to hearing from you.