TAKE-1_01

What's up, what's up, what's up, another good episode with your good ol' fun pineapple fuck-up guy sittin' down here in the homeless shelter at, uh, Casey's house. Pop house. Get it right. House. Not a homeless shelter because we're inside of a home. Shout out to Vanilla Bean. He's in the ER right now. Oh. I heard him. I'm talking to the wrong person. Yeah, dude. He's, you know, he let some inner demons from that bottle get a hold of his ass, and, uh, I've had two women reach out to me and ask about Vanilla Bean. He's gonna need some tender love and care because he's not as badass as he thought. Tell me he didn't climb that big tree down there. No, not that tree. Thank God. That tree would've fucking killed him, but. What about the tree upstairs? No, no, she would've killed him too. Don't talk about that one. I'm talking about you. Oh, I would've killed him, for sure, but, no, he, he went home, uh, where he lives, and him and his sister share a house, and he decided he was gonna mouth off to her, and her boyfriend stood up, and he, he punched him. Well, I guess he thought he was throwing those one-hitter quitters we all thought we had in high school, you know? And this guy grabbed him up, and that's when he slammed him, collapsed his lung. Oh, man. Three ribs. So, Vanilla Bean's gonna need anybody that wants to come, like, rub, rub him down or give him some lotion. Mel Orfie, man. Yeah, Mel Orfie, man. I don't think he can really fight back right now. Steve will rub him down, won't he? Steve will fucking rub him, for sure. I heard Steve rub him on the inside. Yeah, Steve. Steve's like, Steve, whoo. Yeah, but anyway, so shout out to Vanilla Bean, get better, buddy. We know you're gonna be listening to this. Yeah, tell him to keep, uh, hey, let's, uh, sneak into the hospital and prostate checks for every, every two hours on this show. Oh, God, that would be amazing. That'd be fucking hilarious. So, that brings us to today's topic, talk shit, get hit. Talk shit, get hit. Fuck around, find out. Fuck around and find out. I was reading a post earlier on one of the Facebook groups, and a woman was talking about how much she loves her husband, but she gets turned on more by fucking random people than she does fucking her husband. That's a fetish. I think, yeah, I've read that. I don't know. It's just a fetish. I mean, Donovan gets that. He's admitted that off the air, that he loves fucking men more than his wife. Yeah, especially when Steve shows up. Every time Steve's around, I mean, I'm just... I mean, have y'all noticed how Donovan's voice quivers when Steve's around? Oh, Steve. You sound like Hermit the Frog after a night of just getting fucking throat fucked every time Steve's around. Yeah. You know what's so fucked up? He's probably like my buddy, Cam. This motherfucker is like six foot five, probably 375, and you'd think that motherfucker would throw out a slab of meat. I don't even think he's ever seen his own dick. So, you're saying Steve has a small cock. You're going on record right now and stating that Steve has a small cock. Okay, Steve, you have a small cock. Wherever you are, you have... No, I have no fucking clue what size a cock is. Don't lie. Steve's in prison right now. Steve's in prison. Yeah, right. Okay. He's working, but he's in prison. He got a job at the prison, and I wish you guys... We need to get... We need to set this shit up just to record my life here, because it's fucking amazing. You guys have no clue. You guys are only a part of it for like an hour. Josh gets a little more new, because he actually answers his phone. He's not a cocksucker. He doesn't answer. Josh gets more of it, but... Yeah, like... Like, Steve's over here like, Dude, I'm gonna fuck this instructor up, bro. Like, gosh, damn it. I'm a fucking three-time world Muay Thai champ, and they want me to frisk somebody, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I don't care. Like, I'm sorry, but just fuck him up, bro. Like, I don't care. Do it. But, yeah. Just wait till one of them dumbasses grabs a hook. I mean... Well, yesterday, I guess. Like a washing machine on Spencer. There was like a six-foot-one tall black guy who everybody's scared of. He's like a yard dog or whatever. I don't even know what the fuck they call him. Pod boss or whatever. And they were doing pat-downs yesterday. Like, shaking cells and shit. And he tells me, he goes, Bro, he looked at me, and he said, Get your hands off me, white boy. And he said, I looked at him, and I said, We got two options. We're gonna do it the easy way or the easy way. He goes, One way, I'm gonna really enjoy. He goes, And I'm not gonna give you any secrets on which one it is. And he winked at him. And he said, he sized him up. And he just kept staring at his cock for a minute, just to fuck with him. And he goes, You know what I'm talking about, don't you, boy? And he said, The guy turned around, put his hands behind his back, And everybody was like, Dude, you're six-foot-seven, like 300 pounds, And you're a fucking... Everybody just knows. Like, you know, Nobody's gonna fuck with you, dude. That don't always mean anything. Well, but with him, it does. I mean, like... Well, you know my little buddy, Jason. Maybe, I don't know. Yeah, MMA fighter. Oh, Jason Bryant, by the way. Okay. Yeah, go ahead and throw his name out there. No, anyway. I've only known him a lifetime, but now I know him, yeah. No, but Jason Bryant. He's probably 5'3". Maybe 5'2", 5'3". How tall are you? 5'10". 5'9", 5'10". Now I've got that back. Fucking size boots are you wearing? You're a fucking dude. So, anyway. Yeah, I didn't know I was a six-foot. So, we're back on the subject. He's like, let's fuck with Donovan Day. It's okay. I'm gonna give y'all some... Every day. And that's why he said he's 6'2". So, guy's probably 6'2". And Jason was working for me at one of our events. And the guy walks up to Jason. Pushing him, calling him names. Jason's like, sir, back up. Right. Sir, back up. And then I even said, excuse me, sir, back up off my guy. Right. You don't want that smoke. I promise you. He is a train fighter and you need to back away from him. Dude threw his fucking jacket off. Acted like he was gonna swing at Jason before he got his arm pulled all the way back. He was out cold on the ground with a roundhouse. Yeah, Jason was a beast back in the day, man. Back when we were still wrestling in cages is what they used to say. Y'all been there wrestling in cages? There's a lot of pioneers of the sport that are still in this area. No, just a little guy. We're talking 5'2", 5'3". He put the back of his foot right across the cheek. Was it White Dragon or White Lightning? I don't remember, he's just got that airbender tattoo on his head. White Lightning Buffalo. D-Green. I think it was White Lightning. I think that was his nickname or whatever. But yeah, he was a good dude. I liked him a lot. Yeah, but I watched a little bitty dude just floor this big old guy. What do you got here? I put googly eyes on the trash can and now it looks concerned. Oh. Name day. Hell yeah. That's almost hilarious, too. That's pretty cool, Dave. So back to the fetish thing. Yeah, I think that is a fetish where the girl likes to get fucked more by somebody else than her husband. I don't know. I personally would rather fuck my own than someone else. I mean, the others are cool, but yeah. That's just kindling for your fire. Yeah, it's just a spice-up thing. But I'm also, I think we've all pretty much agreed. I don't think I'm as gung-ho as you two are about it. Or maybe you two are just more vocal. But I'm cool with watching the fishbowl scenery. Like five, what they were doing. Of course, I want to join in. Amen. But I mean, I'm good with like, I don't know. I think, I mean, I'm not opposed to a split roast or a tag team or whatever. But I know you two have said if your wife's not having fun, you're not having fun. Yeah, I've never said that because that's not true. I can have fun by myself or with a group of people. It doesn't matter to me. But I'm a, I guess the easiest way to say it is I'm a reactive lover. Meaning, me and my wife can do our thing and I'll be just as happy as can be. Right. But if you are, let's just say swapping, and you notice your wife is not having a good time. Right. That kind of turns me off, bro. She says she can go upstairs and sit outside. He'll be out when he's done. Yeah. Pretty much. I mean, that's, that's, that's their thing. Hey, I'm sure, I'm sure Danielle has a lot of fun without DC. I mean, really, I don't know if she does or not, to be honest. Because think about it. I mean, I am pretty much the life of the party. Yeah, you're, you're the cowboy. Yeah, absolutely. Who else is going to wipe the sweat off my forehead? Nobody. Hey, hey, hey, hey. He returned the favor. Oh, I agree. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, he returned the favor. He returned the favor. You was twice. Yeah. So you owe me. Not only did he wipe the sweat off your forehead, he dabbed the head of your car to make sure he didn't have any extra little jizz on it. So, I mean, y'all doing all right. Well, you got to take care of each other. You just sound so jealous about our dabbing relationship. No. Hey, did you notice that Donovan's sitting in the middle? Always. He can be the pivot man. Always in the middle. Always in the middle. Motherfucker, you told me to scoot down, you jackass. He said he loves a good split roast. Oh, you nasty fuck. He loves to go skiing. No, sir. You have vanilla bean in here. Vanilla bean, that's not me. Swish. He keeps eating his breath. I know, he's like. He's like, damn it, they're going to know. They're going to fucking know. Yeah, they're going to know. Everybody's going to know. They're going to know. How are they going to know? They're all going to know. What, you got ice breakers? Yeah. We already know, Donovan. You ain't got to come out to us. Fuck you and your life, okay? See, always want to fuck a guy. Just in your mouth. It doesn't matter, he's still a guy. Well, right now, you're my. What happened to your nose? I don't know. Did she pop off from somebody like vanilla bean did? Oh, yeah, my wife. She went upside your head? Fuck no. Motherfucker found a pimple on my nose and went to squeeze it. When she did, she took the whole fucking hide off my nose. I swear. It looked like it was hit with a little sander on my nose. It looked like somebody took a knuckle to your nose. No shit. I wish they would have. Damn. Yeah, it fucking hurt. You got back on your testosterone or something? You got back on your pimples again like you're a kid? I ain't never been off the testosterone. What the fuck do you mean back on it? They're a little low, you got to up them? Hell no. I do what the doctor prescribes. So, we didn't really dive deep into the LGBTQ plus community thing last week. I got some backlash from that. We do not hate on anyone. Never. For anything unless you're a pedophile. If you're a pedophile, for real, I do want to hang out with you. And I want to go on record to say I will definitely take you to a gun range. And only one of us will come home. Because that's something that's near and dear to my heart. We all have kids. I'll just keep it on the real. It took me going to therapy to bring out the shit that happened to me as a kid. And I didn't know about it until I started getting these memories. And then I talked to my mom about it. And she would never deny or confirm it or deny it. But just the look on her face let me know. And I wasn't like buttfucked or whatever. But it was these two girls that were being babysit at the same time as me. Were punching my cock and balls as like a speed bag, right? So, like legit. I was like 4, 5 years old. And these girls were like 10-ish. They were a lot bigger than me. And I started peeing blood. So, my mom took me to the ER. And that's how it all came about. They were like worried. Because this had been going on for like weeks. I don't know what happened. I don't know how it was handled. All I can say is that I feel like even though my biological father is the world's biggest piece of shit. He at least had enough love or wanted to look like a badass either way. That he handled it. And I don't think he handled it like I would. I'll just shoot you. If you fuck with my kids or some kid that I love. Really, just fuck with any kid. I'll kill you. I don't care. And I'll go on record and say that. I'll go ahead and mark that down. No, we are not looking to look out for kids. Back to the LGBT thing. We are open to having anyone. There was a couple who reached out and gave me a lot of great information. But we would like to schedule a phone interview with you. Just if you got an extra 10 minutes. Something that, and you're not afraid to put it out there what you know. We would love to have you on the show. Just to be able to say, hey, this is a stance. And it's only one person's perspective. So if we can get multiple people, great. We're not ducking that. And if you're like assholes, everybody got one. Yeah, so we want to get more opinions on it. Also, we've had a few people reach out. Wanting to explain their lifestyle journey. And we are 100% on that. And I'm in the process of doing that right now. Going to get a little phone interview going. And let a couple just talk and explain their journey. And the lifestyle and how they play. Because I mean, one thing I've noticed. And I know me and Josh have had this conversation a lot. There are so many. And I hate calling them rules. But it's really, I mean, there's so many rules in the group. I mean, you know, like you and Lindsey might have something 100% different. Than like Donovan and Melissa. You know, and it's like don't ever assume somebody's rules. Reach out and get to know them. Get to know the rules before you ever, you know, start your playtime. Before you ever try to take it farther than just out to eat or whatever. Right. Out to eat. Yeah. That's an understatement for Josh. That's sort of that fucking thing. Right, Mr. Simmons? I just need to know about the rules before I give you my tongue. It's going to penetrate you farther than your husband's cock. That does lick his eyebrows. Allegedly. It does lick his eyebrows. Now, he can't say that to Danielle with your 16-inch frickin' wiener going over there. Yeah, fuck all you all for that because you cock-blocked me with that. And goeateddick.com is where Donovan's going to be. Goeateddick.com. That's the next sponsor. And it's Donovan's home website. I thought his was iateddick.com. Maybe. But let us know that literally there's been a message that come out and it said, your dick is literally 16 inches in the size of a Pringle can. I'm sorry, but we can't fuck with you. And they blocked us. Damn. Like, I didn't even have a chance to thin my little toddler dick. It was like, wow, cool. 18 inches, not 16. That was a bad day. They don't call me knee slapper for nothing. Must be cold that day. Yeah, it was like fucking freezing when we measured it. Fuck. And we did get a couple of things that are supposed to be in the mail to us. It's some sex toys. And they're more geared for the women. So I was going to bring this up to you guys. Just live reaction. I think if funpineapplepodcasts at gmail.com. If you're willing to give a real review on them, we'll send them to you. Give a real review. I'd like to record the action. Or at least we could be there to make sure you're actually doing it to get the real review. But I guess there's a guy here in Louisville who's reached out. He's actually making sex toys now. And he's trying to get them on the market at like Adam and Eve. Shout out to Tina. And, you know, maybe Cinderella's. I don't know. He just said he was trying to get them in local sex shops. And he's like a local. I asked him. I said, well, do you got one that does a blow job? Because I'll try it out and let you know. But not yet. He's only focusing on the women. Which is not fair. I will tell you there are blow job machines. And I'm scared to stick my wiener in something that might fucking rip at some bitch hole. I'm not. I'm not. I would definitely try it. I'm not. Yeah. Absolutely. Allegedly. Well, then on one of our next podcasts, I've got one at the house. It's about $800. It came with all that bunch of stuff I bought. So. What is it? It is a blow job machine. Oh, I'll do it live. We'll see. Brand new in the fucking box. I got it. Yeah. Absolutely. You can do a live. Live review. Donovan needs to slide in there for you. As long as Donovan sits right there and he always makes eye contact. Donovan is not going to be present. He always makes eye contact with me. Yeah, he does. Look, he just shifted. He knew what I was going to say. He knew what I was going to say. If he makes eye contact, you'll blow quick, huh? Oh, absolutely. Well, fuck y'all. Hell no. Danielle will be there for that one. Well, speaking of people being here, I'm glad that Puss Boy made this podcast late. Yep. On what? Three minutes of my ass we were supposed to do it on Friday and somebody was getting waxed or sired. Whatever day. Oh, my. Hold on. Before you speak. It was Sunday. What did I say his excuse was going to be? What did I say? Because I'd been calling Donovan and couldn't get a hold of him. He kept going to voicemail. He calls me and he's like, hey, I guess we're not doing it today, man. He said, I think your exact words were, I don't know. I guess we're not going to do it today because I can't get a hold of Donovan. And then what did I say his excuse was going to be? He said, oh, my dog chewed my. My phone charger. My phone charger don't work. My phone died. First thing this motherfucker text. My phone charger didn't work. No, my phone charger is dead. My phone charger is shot. I'm not going to lie. Like this motherfucker. No. He came home was dead and my phone charger wasn't. Allegedly, I did a lot of stimulants to stay awake to do that podcast with you all. And then Josh. Allegedly. No, I really did. And then I said, what are I doing? And I was like, fuck it, I'm going to bed. And then I wake up to text messages. For me, because my phone was dead. How did it magically charge? I used my wife's charger. You guys have one charger in the house? Not anymore. I have a charger here. I have a charger there. There's probably one in between. There's one on each side of the bed. One in the kitchen. I have so many fucking chargers. If I can't find a charger. So just to tell you to shut the fuck up for a minute. I've talked to the bikies. They will allow me to be waxed in the middle of Tempted's floor. Next Saturday. Well, of course, John did that so he can get me to come to this club again. Because it's so amazing. But no, John did say right in the middle of the floor. I said, that's great for me. And they can film it for TikTok. Are they going to allow us to film it there? They are. I spoke with them about it because you all want to do it in front of an audience. And you'll have people to help you yank and rip the fucking hair out. So all win-win. This is fucking awesome. I'm going to have to drop a new charger off at his house. I've got two now. In his defense, out of all of us, he was the only one who made sure everyone knew he didn't mind to be waxed. Right. All of you all who voted, thank you because you did Donovan a favor. Yeah, fuck yeah you did because it was going to cost me $225. Because he's constantly getting waxed. Show us how much you got now. What's that noise? What the hell is that noise? Oh, wait. Sorry, it's amateur hour with Donovan. Yeah, well, I thought I had my phone on silent, but I guess I didn't.