la prodject 4

Stephanie Hall shares her personal journey of self-harm and overcoming it on the New Life Podcast. She had been cutting her wrist since 8th grade to numb her feelings but decided to stop on July 4th, 2023. She reflects on the guilt of hiding her self-harm from her loved ones and the relief she felt after confiding in a friend. Stephanie realizes that there are healthier ways to cope with emotions and that she is stronger than she thought. She emphasizes the importance of seeking help and support from others. I would have never guessed there had been this long since the day I stopped. The day I stopped thinking I needed to cut my wrist so I could numb the feeling or focus on something else. But I did. A whole 8 months and 22 days. I can't believe it. It feels like yesterday. But I did it. I made it to today. Hi. My name is Stephanie Hall and this is the New Life Podcast. The day I stopped was July 4th, 2023. It was the day I realized I couldn't do it anymore, even if it helped me numb the feeling. I had cut my wrist since 8th grade because of my mental health. And I vowed that day I would never do it again. But yet, here we are, July 3rd, 2023. A day before I got to see the fireworks and hang out with the people I love most. My friends and family. That night I sat in bed thinking to myself, what am I even feeling like this for when I could be feeling pain? I cut myself and I cut myself good. I bled but not so much that I left alone. My whole life I thought cutting yourself was dumb and stupid and there were so many better options. But it was at this point where I was in the position to do it. I will never forget the feeling of making it to my first month cut free. I felt so happy and thought I could do so many more things with my life besides focusing on the negative. Anyways, let's get back to the story. It was the day after I cut. I got up that morning and got dressed in a blue tank top not realizing it showed my cuts. I decided to go to the kitchen to get a big cloth and tape it to my arm. When my mom had saw my arm in the cloth she asked, what happened? I told her our cat scratched me and it hurt so bad that I was cutting it up. I remember that I played it so well that she believed me and even a part of me was proud that I did. The other part of me was breaking because I couldn't tell her how I was feeling or what I had done because of it. I wish I could tell her how I felt and break down and turn around and I had to stay strong and conceal it. During the evening of the 4th of July, we left our homes to go to the band show. While there, me and my family split up so I could go hang out with friends. I hung out with a total of 5 other people and I acted as if everything was fine. I broke my heart that I could let it end that easy and they had no idea what was going on. It had me start thinking. How many days had they come to me all happy, hiding out the fact that they were hurting inside. I over thought for the first part of the time that we hung out. While we were sitting on the bench, my friend asked if I was okay. I snapped out of it. I looked at her and said I'm fine. My eyes started to water and get red. But before I cried in front of everyone, I dragged her into the women's restroom to show her what I had done. Her face turned pale. I remember her asking me so many questions about why I did it, when I did it, if she could help, if she could do anything for me to make things better and if it was her fault that I did it. I told her she had done nothing wrong and I would never do it again because I know how much it hurt her seeing what I had done. I started to feel better the rest of the day after getting the guilt of hurting myself off my chest. That day I knew I could share my emotions without turning around. My heart felt full knowing my friends and family are there for me and they truly care about me and my well-being. In the end, I know for the future that there are so many more ways to cope with your feelings instead of trying to numb them or focus them on something else that's not healthy for you or your body. In the end, I got over the fear of feeling my emotions and got over the fact that I don't have to numb some feelings to be happy. I found out that I'm stronger than I think and that I can switch through. I also found out people care about you and me so I get the right help that I need. I would like to credit childrenmusic.com for the wonderful music. Thank you.