Body Image & Social Media Podcast - Stella and Adelaide

Oh my god, do you see what she just posted? Yeah, oh my god, why did her hips look like that? She could have looked so much better. Wait, hold on, let's rewind that situation. Oh my god, do you see what she just posted? Yeah, she looked amazing, why? Right? What a cute top. I have to make sure to know where she got it from. So although the victim didn't know that this was being said about her, this is only the start of the negative cycle of body image that more than one in three Canadian teenage girls who use social media, such as Instagram, can experience this, according to the documents made by the Wall Street Journal. Hi, I'm Adelaide. And I'm Stella. And today we'll be talking about the negative effects social media can have on body image, specifically on, you guessed it, teenage girls. So we are going to introduce 20-year-old Caitlin. She's turning 21 in the upcoming month. And she shared her story with us on her eating disorder that she developed in grade 8, carried on into grade 9, and how it affected her development. So like, so let's, yeah, let's start on emotional. So how are you affected emotionally? Yeah, emotionally it was really tough, right? Yeah. I, like, I feel like they all go hand in hand, of course. So, like, if I'm not, like, physical-wise, if I wasn't, like, eating enough, so it really impacted, like, the nutrients I was getting. Like, I didn't hit puberty until I was in grade 11. Okay. Like, I starved my body, and that affected that. But the emotional piece, yeah, like, it just makes you feel really, like, you feel really insecure and, like, small. You don't want anyone to know what's going on. So, like, it's really, like, a hidden, secretive thing. So it's, like, a very lonely feeling. Yeah, for sure. So we know that, like, physical and emotional things kind of tie in with each other. So, obviously, if you're not feeling good, or someone doesn't make you feel good about your body, or you see something on social media you don't like, then that obviously affects how you're going to eat, how you're going to work out, or the lack of how you work out, right? Like... Yeah, exactly. If you're in, like, a friend group, and, like, all your friends are all skinny, it makes you feel like you have to change to look like everyone else, which isn't the case at all. Like, you need to be yourself, and you can't reflect other people's body image on what you should look like. Yeah, exactly. And the emotional part also. So we know that your mental health can also get affected greatly by, like, distancing yourself from family members, isolating yourself from your friends, affecting, like, all types of different relationships. It just, like, social media can... It can really just take a tear down on your mental health in many ways. It can make you, like, have different attitudes, it can make you speak to people differently, how you see the world, even, how you see, like, future social media and how you treat others. Like, it can all just come from your mental health getting affected. We know that, like, depression can stem from this. We know that, like, social anxiety disorder can stem from this. People can become more anxious, lose friends. Like, we know all of that stuff can come from literally just the emotional aspect. And so it makes us wonder, like, what else can come from this if that's just the emotional part? Yeah, and kind of touching on the isolation part that Adelaide just said, like, isolating yourself from events, from social situations, like with family, just with how you're eating. Like, you could be going out for dinner and not wanting to eat. Not wanting to go. Not wanting to go at all because you're isolated from all of that situation. And as well as, like, more physical, like, just eating is so important and having to process those nutrients can really affect how, like, you look. And if you see other people eating something that's not good for you, like fast food, and they don't gain much weight, but if you're eating the fast food, you gain so much weight, it can really take a toll on how you're eating. Exactly. So the next one would be intellectual. Like, how did it impact probably, like, your learning abilities or, like, how often you were in school? Like, I know being in and out of those centers. I had an IEP at one point because I had to do certain online schooling and stuff. Can you explain, sorry to backtrack, can you explain what an IEP is? Oh, yeah, IEP is a, it's like a learning, something learning. So it's a type of learning plan for school. So, for example, it would be, like, what gets you more time off of your, more time for your exam or you can have a kind of resource room or you get help for, like, et cetera. So, yeah, I had that. And then because I was in grade nine for one week and then left for three months, there was that social aspect for myself personally of coming into grade nine after those three months had happened. And I'm like, everyone's had their click, right? Like, grade nine is halfway through and I'm new. Yeah. So, like, that was hard socially. But for the learning part, yeah, like, if you're not feeding your brain, there's no brain power, right? Yeah. So, and then, of course, like, missing school, if you're not feeling well or just, like, really, like, I was really tired a lot. Okay. And so I was fall asleep, like, talking to people. So Caitlin just touched on more of the social intellectual aspect there. What we kind of talked about already a bit, like, isolating yourself and how that affects relationships. Obviously, if you're spending a lot of time on social media, that means less time in person, right? Exactly, and we were also touching on the fact that Caitlin left the first week after grade nine and had to come back three months in when everyone already had their clicks, et cetera. So really feeling left out in those social aspects can really take a toll on body image and all that kind of stuff. Exactly, and when everyone, you come to school, and that's at such a young age, too, that's at, like, 13, 14 years old, you're coming into a new environment and having probably no friends, coming into a new high school, and then you disappear, basically, and no one knows who you are, and you come back and your teachers don't know who you are. They probably don't know exactly what you're going through and no friends to really rely on that. That would have been really tough. Yeah, I really think it's a toll on, like, any relationships you have when it comes to school and just, it's hard catching up. I know for me, like, catching up in school when you miss school days is hard, but being away for so long is just, like, dreadful. And, like, not having that connection to other people, not having that ability to rely on people to help you is a big thing. Or the energy, like, having not having the energy. When you're being put in a program that is making you, like, consistently need and consistently be put with others who are probably draining your mental health, probably draining your social abilities to interact, it won't give you energy to want to do schoolwork. It's not going to put you ahead by any means at all. Exactly. Physical. That was probably the easiest to talk about, I would assume. Yeah. OK. No energy. No energy, yeah. And I forget, were you ever involved in any sports or anything like that? Yeah, so I played volleyball and soccer. OK, yeah, I do remember that. Yeah. So were you involved with those sports at the time this happened? When did that happen? Yeah, I've been to the hospital. Yeah. And I did, so the summer, because it was grade 8 and grade 9, so the summer between them, I did a summer gym course. OK. So I was, like, extra active, but then I wouldn't eat lunch at school. All right, so Caitlin finally touched on the physical element of the pies, which kind of included her eating disorder, which really took a toll on her physical health. She was able to participate in sports because she was going to the hospital so much because she wasn't eating lunch at break or stuff like that. Yeah, that's really hard. With eating disorders, you're just eating it and then kind of giving it all up then later. She mentioned earlier in the interview that she would be binge eating at one point and then not eating at all at the next point. So obviously, eventually, you're going to get hungry or else you wouldn't be able to survive. But she would get really hungry, and then all you would want to do is eat at night or during the day when no one's around. But then all you're going to do is just throw it back up, which is really, really hard because then you're still not maintaining the nutrients in your body. You're not keeping what you need to have energy, what you need to have fuel for your daily activities. Like, that's very difficult. And bruises and being tired all the time, that's a difficult thing to hear. Exactly. Having the energy to get out of bed is one thing, but having energy to eat is another thing. You need to eat to fuel yourself and not be able to do that. I know we're doing it in small increments or large increments at different times. So we did a survey on a bunch of teenagers, and one of the questions that we asked was, what are some ways to decrease the issue of letting social media affect your body image in a negative way? And a lot of people said putting your phone down, which, I mean, in some cases, that is the... Or, I don't know, spending less time on social media. We know that those are obviously the basics of it, but how do you do that? We need to take a deeper look on how you can spend less time on social media. How do you actually put your phone down? Exactly. I always tell myself I'm going to put my phone down, and I literally never do. Last night, I was literally on TikTok for probably like 45 minutes when I literally told myself I would get up and clean. Or go to bed early, and then you're just stuck on your phone. Or go to bed early, and you're literally just sucked into the habit of, no, I need to like... You'll set a timer for yourself in your head. You'll be like, OK, it's 2.09 right now. I'll wait until 2.15, and then when it turns 2.15, you're like, oh, OK, just one minute. Or you won't even realize because you're just... You're so caught up in the world of social media that you don't even know. Exactly. Like, you wake up in the morning, and the one thing you do is go on your phone, which is not how you should be waking up. Seeing people post stuff isn't a way you should be waking up. You should wake up to like being active or eating food, not fueling yourself with negative energy that comes up to social media. Yeah, exactly. And it's not easy to just put your phone down, spend less time on social media. Obviously, it has to be in a routine. It has to be consistent. So, I mean, setting timers for yourself on certain apps. I know people who do that. I don't put my... I don't put timers for myself. It's like your screen time. It's like your screen time, yeah. There is a setting that you can set screen time for certain apps like TikTok and Instagram, which are definitely the ones that affect me personally the most. And so you can set timers for yourself. You can set reminders on your phone that you'll get notified, and it'll be like, OK, time to shut off your phone. And then that will bring you back into the mindset of, oh, that's right. Like, this affected me bad last time, or I know it'll be better for me if I get off. Into that right positive mindset. And like, it just helps how you feel overall. I always get headaches when I'm on my phone so much. I'm always like, oh, it's not my phone. But it really is your phone. Like, your phone can take a toll on you and just make you exhausted and make you not want to do anything else. Especially before bed. It's probably one of the worst feelings, is feeling left out or seeing friends... or sorry, pictures of your friends out, hanging out without you. It's one of the worst feelings to come from social media, but that can be avoided by, if you know your friends are out without you, if you're tired or you couldn't go or you just weren't up to it, or there's literally nothing wrong with that, you just shut off your phone, you spend time with your family or other friends, you watch a movie, you play a game, you do something else that gets your mind off of social media, off your phone, because you know that if you're on your phone, you're obviously going to be tempted to use social media. Other than a different spot on your phone where you can't see it, where you're not tempted, but we know that also probably won't be easy. Exactly. Or even putting it on airplane mode. I know for me, when I'm on a car drive or something like that, I always put it on airplane mode, so I'm not just focusing on my phone or just doing that one thing. I'm doing other stuff, trying to read a book or maybe talk to my parents, just kind of exploring different ways you can do that. So we know that one of the common attachment styles when you're facing an eating disorder or when you're facing difficulties because of social media, a common one that you're going to see is the avoidant attachment style, which means that it's important that you feel independent and self-sufficient, you want to be on your own, do things on your own, you take things into your own hands. We heard by Caitlin's story that she was isolating herself, spending lots of time in her room, only coming out at night when there was no one around. So we really see that because of social media, you are seeing models and unideal bodies that you don't want to face, you don't want to admit that that's not real life, you're just kind of sucking that in and keeping it all to yourself. And that can also lead to an emotional memory, which is one of the different types of before memories. This amygdala is related to this, which is a key role in where your emotion is tied to. When you face an emotion, it comes from your amygdala. It's when you feel triggered. So even after facing something such as an eating disorder, you can see a picture or get like a Snapchat memory, which again comes from social media, which can bring back a memory that triggers you into facing the same feelings that you once felt when you were facing something difficult like your eating disorder. You can experience those painful emotions, you don't know why, because maybe you just forgot some things that you were facing in that time of that eating disorder or that hard mental state that you just forgot about and then it gets brought to you maybe years later and you don't know why and then you remember and you're like, oh, this is why. And that would not be a good feeling at all. So in the early stages of our class, we talked about Erickson's Psychoanalytic Theory. We found that stage five, which is the age of adolescence, relates to our topic the most because it's based on teenagers. The stage focuses on the identity versus role confusion. This occurs when we're on social media and are caught up by the perception of social media, which portrays the fact that you need to have a certain life or a certain body type that you see. And it's almost like why are we living, why are we thinking based off other people's lives when we see on social media? We are seeing other people's lives, maybe how they're eating, how they're living their lives, who they're hanging out with, how they do in school, and then we're basing that off our own self-worth. We're comparing ourselves, saying, why don't I do as good as them? Why don't I look like them? Leading us to feel a certain way, but that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. It doesn't matter how other people live their lives. That's them. Like, leave that to them. They will do their own thing. And when you start feeling like that, when you start to find yourself in that negative habit, that is when you need to recognize, when you need to get off social media or spend more time with people in real life other than just looking off what other people and how they're living their lives. And there's a difference between, like, seeing something on social media and, like, utilizing it as a goal. They need it to work out or do something like that. But using it to compare is not a way you should be using social media. There's different ways you can use it, and that way is not the greatest way. ♪ I'm going to talk a little bit about the McMaster Children's Hospital, located around, obviously, McMaster, specifically the Child and Youth Mental Health and Patient Unit. So this is a unit that Caitlin went through at her time of the eating disorder when she was young. And since this is a youth unit, it only takes children ages below 17. So when you turn 18, there would obviously have to be some sort of different care that you would have to go through. But McMaster allows children who are in need of help to be safe, assess their mental health, review their medications. Treat their mental health issues and plan care in their community so that they can go home whenever they get better. So the care that McMaster provides, to start off, youth have to complete a behavioral analyst, otherwise known as a BA. So to work through the BA, the child shares important information through the team. So the team occupies the role of a behavioral analyst. So the team obviously knows what they're going through, how to deal with it, how often they need to socialize with others because we heard from Caitlin, she was out of school. So she's obviously not with people her age. She would probably be lonely. This would probably lead a lot of kids to be more isolated. And that's obviously what they want to avoid. So in this program, here I'm just going to read. So completing the BA, so the child can attend groups with other children and meet with different team members. The staff members will be the child's coach. They help the child learn and practice new skills and new situations. The staff can take groups of children off the unit for an activity or walk. And it tells you what to bring, how often parents or family can visit, what's not allowed in the unit, such as sometimes they take away their cell phones, which is a very important thing. Caitlin mentioned that when I was interviewing her. She said that they took away her phone a lot of the time. They limited her screen time. That's really important because obviously you probably wouldn't like that at first. You probably wouldn't want random strangers taking away your phone telling you what to do. But slowly and surely, you would realize that that's better for you, taking time off social media so that you can finally recover. It also is a way to like kind of defend yourself from everyone who's outside of where you are and kind of not focus on what they're doing and focus on how you're doing to get better on yourself. Very true. And it also lets people know that you can't bring anything that you could self-harm with, such as sharp objects, plastic bags, belts, cord strings, etc., stuff like that. Talks about visiting and the safety. So going back to how long this can take to get in. So it does say that, as I said, you have to complete the BA. So this said can take a couple of days, obviously depending on the issue. McMaster will get back to you, varying on how important it is that you get in. This will also vary on how long you need to stay in the inpatient unit. And so I'm just going to talk a little bit about what Kaitlyn told me of the stuff that she went through during her time in the inpatient program. So she talked about how she began bed rest. There were meal replacements for, and replacement of a drink. So because Kaitlyn was suffering from an eating disorder at the time, she had trouble maintaining the nutrients, as we've said previously. She didn't want to eat the meals, so they obviously had to make sure that she was still getting nutrients into her body. So that was through a drink. She said that MRIs were included, probably not too often, but probably more than once. And she also mentioned that it was a really structured day. You were put into groups once you were medically cleared. You were put into groups probably with other kids in the program. She mentioned how it was really stable. She mentioned that there was always someone checking in on her. So that is an important thing to know before putting your child in a program like this. You want to know how often they're getting checked up on, if this will really work. Based on what Kaitlyn told us, she said that it did work. And then she continued to go into the outpatient program, which Stella's going to talk a little bit about. So after the inpatient program, there's another option that Adelaide briefly just touched on. It's called the Mental Health Outpatient Service, which is located at the McMaster Mental Health Hospital. These services are available to children and youth up to their 18th birthday. You're giving a health care provider or offer a therapist that will be with you and your child to learn about the difficulties that you are having. If you have family members with you, you can decide to let them take part in the decision. It will also help everyone reach a common understanding of you or your child's difficulties. And as well, make recommendations that best suit you and your child's needs. So we wanted to reach out to a professional. And I found a Realistic Body Therapist on Instagram. And this is just a friendly reminder that although social media can have negative effects, we want to remember that it can be good for things because she actually really helped us. So her name is Zanette DeMillery. And her Instagram tag is at realistic.body.therapist. And if you want to email her, it's realisticbodytherapist at gmail.com. So I reached out with her. I reached out to her with some questions just about social media, what her experience is, because she obviously is an influencer for positive self-image and positive eating habits. I thought that she would have a lot of good things to say. So she answered questions like, what's the typical age and gender group you see that social media affects most? And since Stella and I have been focusing on adolescents, she did touch on that a lot, which is really helpful, which proves that the age group that is affected the most is adolescents. She mentioned that it's because they're in search for their identity and sense of belonging, which is going off of Stella's point for Erickson. And she talks a lot about how they identify themselves as part of a family. Therefore, their sense of self revolves around their family. So as I said, it revolves around their family. But by the time they reach puberty, they're spending a lot more time with their peers, your friends, relationships, and obviously less time then with your family. They're focusing, then a lot of, like, they're probably, what they're talking about with their friends, a lot of the topics that you would bring up is social media, because that's in our generation. That's what a lot of our, like, discussions are focused off. So she said that she saw a trend in how people our age would be interacting more on screens. And that's obviously not a good thing at all, because when our parents were younger, they'd be interacting outside of screens. They didn't have phones. They'd be going outside more. But in our generation, that's, like, our main... It's our reality. It's how life is right now. It's crazy to think how just when we wake up in the morning, we're on our phones. And it's seen as normal. Like, it's literally seen as normal, even though it's like, well, what if we didn't have social media? Like, I wish every day that social media wasn't a thing. Me too. As much as it can do great things, it's like, well, how amazing would life be if we didn't have social media? Nothing would be perfect, but... She mentioned that friendships aren't limited face-to-face, as I said. Spending more time online, and they're possibly the most affected group by social media, as we said. In your adolescence, when you're not knowing what you're going to be when you're older, who you're friends with, you're coming in and out of relationships, you rely a lot of your time on social media, because that's kind of like your escape from reality. And then with age, what age is most affected comes to gender. We are seeing a pattern. Everyone can assume that girls are the most affected by social media. And it started to come from wanting to be thinner, smaller, flat-chested. You wanted to look like those models who are so skinny. But social media has evolved it to be something way different. Now girls want to have a big chest and big thighs and all that stuff. And that's like fitting in, basically, to the perils of social media. That's what we're seeing online, so we think that's how you have to be in real life. And we change it. We go and get that surgery, go and get those injections. We do all that stuff just to make ourselves look like everyone else. But that's not what life is. You want to be different, and social media really has made that a trend to look like everyone else. And with guys, you don't see them complaining about social media. You see them posting to the gym and all this stuff. When girls edit their photos, it can make them look good for people to see. When people usually are like, whatever. And who knows? Maybe guys edit their photos as well. We're not dismissing boys at all. We see a pattern more in girls. Girls are more obvious. Girls tend to be more sensitive and feel more pressured by their peers. Guys may make the appearance that they don't care what others think. But we know everyone, you're going to care what others think, one way or another. You can't not. It's going to happen in one way or another. You're always going to feel judged one way or another. There's going to be some part where you don't feel like you fit in, whether it's going into a new school or getting a new social media by the time that everyone already has it. Yeah, you feel like you're behind with everything else. So another thing that Zeynep talked about was the most harmful social media platform there is out there, which in my opinion is TikTok. I feel like TikTok is so trendy right now and it's something we all use. But it's also a way that you can see such negative activities on it and just feel really bad about yourself. An example would be seeing Get Ready With Me or seeing What I Eat In A Day or Weight Loss Transformations or Going To The Gym Before And After Videos. Exactly, stuff like that can really affect you. And it might be fun to watch and see, but... That's intended to literally show their bodies. Exactly. What else are you doing or showing what they eat. But you're also comparing yourself in a way that isn't good. Yeah, because I know when I don't have a full plate of fruit for breakfast, I'm like, oh, should I be eating like that? Does that make me not as fit as this person? Like, you don't know how much they're exercising or you don't know how much, what else they're eating in a day. Social media is only showing what they portray, what they want to show. Exactly. We all think that because people show what they're eating or how they're living or where they're going on vacation that they have such a perfect life. But that's literally just what they put on a screen. Like, a lot of it's fake. And because someone could be going through such a hard time and you would never know because it's like putting on a smile, putting on a mask. Social media is the mask. As we near the end of our podcast, we want to speak one more time about how important it is that we know that this issue can't be fully prevented. Can it be stopped? No, it can't be stopped. We can't control other people and how they use social media, but only we can control how we experience it, how we deal with our own feelings and how then we use that in our lives. So how does it impact us when we see something on social media? Yeah, and if we're seeing a picture of a model or a dietician or something like that, we have to recognize if that triggers us, if it makes us upset, and how to then adapt that to our use of social media. It's unrealistic, obviously, to just stop using social media completely, but maybe your options can be logging out for a couple hours or setting your phone down for a bit or just setting time, like timers for yourself on something else like we said previously in the podcast. Yeah, small things, small impacts make a huge difference. Like doing those small things, like unfollowing the account even. Exactly. It can make a huge impact even if you don't notice it right away. And then instead of being on social media, we can be wrapping ourselves in a big blanket, making some tea, calling a friend, go out with your parents, something like that, that we have to recognize that our life isn't just social media. Our passion isn't just going to depend on social media. We have to know that influencers do this as their full-time job. They dedicate all their time and energy to looking good and have a group of people supporting them in this. They get paid to do it. We have to remember that. They're going to put their money towards looking good, towards eating good. If they have the money, obviously they're going to get healthy foods which makes maybe what we eat not look so good. But we have to recognize that just because they're doing that, it doesn't mean that we have to do that as well. We have to know what keeps our own bodies healthy, what makes us happy, and then putting your life towards those things and not towards the negative energy of things. We want to thank you guys so much for your support. And we are ending our podcast here, but we want to thank you guys for listening. And we want to let you know that if you have any further questions or any concerns, please don't feel scared to reach out. And a few extra sources just a reminder that you can check out if you're having trouble are any children's health lines and McMaster Children's Hospital for the Youth and even that body therapist that I suggested earlier. Just a reminder, reminding ourselves that what we see on social media isn't always accurate of how things are in reality. It could also be a way to protect being a victim. And just remember, you are never alone when it comes to social media. Never alone. We're all facing it together. Thank you.