Help Lord I'm Married

The podcast discusses the importance of God-centered marriage relationships. It emphasizes the need for open communication, love, honesty, and integrity in a marriage. The family suggests starting over and dating each other again, even after being together for a long time. They also highlight the significance of having God as the foundation of the relationship. They emphasize commitment, honesty, and integrity as essential elements for a successful marriage. The family acknowledges that marriage can be challenging, but with God's help and a strong commitment, couples can overcome difficulties and grow together. They encourage listeners to prioritize their relationship and show kindness and love to their spouse every day. Welcome to Life Behind the Veils, an atmosphere where men and women of God speak His Word at this age and bring His Kingdom to this earth. Do you have ears to hear and eyes to see what God is doing in this attic? Let us join our host and the family's conversation as the Holy Spirit is unfolding the Word behind the veil. Hi, I'm Ron your host and today the family discusses God-centered marriage relationships. God created the marriage relationship to be one of open and deep communication and love, honesty and integrity. A deep commitment to this relationship is essential if it is to last through life's storms. Having God as the centerpiece in the marriage relationship gives it a foundation which supersedes what humans can produce no matter how sincere they are. Let's listen in as the family discusses these deep marriage relationships created by God. What do you do if you're in a relationship with another person now for let's say five years, ten years and kind of teetering on for sure not best friends? You know, we get along together because we're married. Maybe we stay together because of our children or maybe we have worked some kind of a relationship out where I give a little, she gives a little or maybe I work a lot and just kind of stay away from home or she works. You know what I'm saying? We each got our hobbies and we stay away from one another. So we have a quote relationship but not really a relationship. And look out when you get retired because now you're stuck with one another type thing all day long. But with relationships that are already supposedly settled, they're married and find themselves in troubled waters now. I want to believe that God can give wisdom and help people in that situation. And I know there is wisdom out there for that from the Lord. There's so many approaches and in one respect it depends on the couple specifics. But I would say in respect start over. Start from today and start new. Everything from yesterday past you can't fix, you can't change, nothing. Forget about it. It's over. Done. Start over. Start dating one another again. Start asking questions. You have realities, you know, that you have to deal with on a daily basis. You know, the kids have to be fed, the mortgage needs to be paid. You've got these things already in process but you still need to take time and sit down and relate with one another. If you don't have the time to communicate, a relationship has to be worked on. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean it's good, bad, and different. If you fell in love with somebody, you have to nurture that love. You have to build on it, if you will. People's tastes change, people's expectations change. You make plans and that's wonderful but it's like filing a flight plan. You set, I'm going to start from here and we're going to end up over here. Right. And this is our plan on the way. However, when you reach the, if you're going by sea, if you reach stormy waters, you probably want to try and go around that if you can and not have to go through it. Or like an airplane, you know, they're flying from, say, L.A. to New York and they're going to go over Texas but there's a tornado, typhoon, that's really messing up the air quality. You're going to fly up toward Montana, maybe not that far, but you know what I'm saying? You're going to go north around it. You might be late. It doesn't matter. You started at one place and you ended at the right place. And I think that's how you want to find it. What's your goals together? We need to determine your goals. And even after you're married, you know, we, of course, don't recommend alternatives. Separation is extremely hard on children, no matter what their age. And so find a way to fall in love with one another again. Find a way, communicate, be kind. We talked about that on another one, being very kind. And act like you love each other. Start there again if it needs to. You know, Alan, I think one thing that you said there that jumped out at me, and I know you said it in another podcast that we had, act like you love one another. And I think that's a really, really important point to be brought out, because if you've been in a relationship and you've went through some pretty troubled waters, your emotions aren't there. And so now you're telling me I'm supposed to start over when I have all these negative emotions and maybe a lot of negative thoughts that we've done damage to one another because of what we've said to one another. So now you're telling me I've got to start over. Well, yeah, I think you do need to start over. If you're committed to that relationship, you need to act it out, and your emotions will not be there, and you're going to be dealing with negative thoughts, which you're going to have to dump. Then I think the counsel of acting it out, in other words, like you said, start fresh. You're dating. It may sound silly if you've been married 20, 30 years. It's not silly because you're starting from fresh, and you're trying to create new thoughts, new conversations, new emotions, and I think that's possible. I believe if I was being brutally honest, I believe that it's only possible with the help of the Holy Spirit. I have to agree with that. You're absolutely right, Ron, because God created marriage, and he created marriages to serve him, and usually one of the early problems in a marriage, like you were saying earlier, Alan, and you too, Ron, that there's a lot of things that encourage you to get married and say, wow, you know, I should be married because of these things. And I experienced with my wife, she would sit at the piano and sing beautifully. I'd get my guitar and we'd play hymns, choruses, sing, worship together very early in our relationship. And without saying a word, we formed something in our relationship that always seemed to feed us when we had problems. And that is our focus on the Lord, our love of the Lord, our love to worship, and our desire to have someone that felt the same way. And I would say that desire to have someone who shared my love of God, my love of his people, the love of his word, that in itself helped me overcome many things that would have been objectionable in the relationship and would have caused me to probably end it. I agree. And because we had that early on in the relationship, even to this day, it still is working because that was a part of our foundation. That's right. And I guess that it's like we were talking earlier about becoming best friends. My father gave me some very good advice. He says, son, never go to bed angry at your wife. Yes. Good. And that's a good one. And that's a tough one to fulfill. Yeah. But it's all about, to me, it's all about my relationship with the Father, because my wife first is Christ in the earth because she has the same Father. My wife is my sister. My wife is my partner. You know, I'm glad you brought that in, Dale, because everything we're talking about does not work without the Lord in the center of it. And that's why we have such a huge divorce rate, I believe, in the United States and in the world, is because people try to work things out without God in their lives. And whether you believe what I'm saying or not is true, all you have to do is look at the outcome of the statistics just in the United States alone. And you can go, well, there's other causes than that. Well, maybe so. But I'll just speak from my experience. A relationship that's founded in Christ where both people have a deep drive for the Lord has a lot more chance of succeeding than one that doesn't. That's true. One thing, I'm glad you put it that way, Ron, because I'll be blunt. I don't think just because you signed the paper, just because you said a lot of things, I don't think a marriage becomes a marriage until it begins to serve the Lord. And I've got friends who have successful marriages without that. But like you say, they're few and far between. And there's a lot of people that get along fine. They go so far in their relationship and say, okay, this is where I'm not going to go any further. But they live the rest of their lives together. And some of them are happy. And God's in that because we're all His creation. But I am looking very much to see the fulfillment of what God created the Institute of Marriage for. All the stuff I've been saying sounds easy, like these are easy answers. But a walk with God is not easy. A marriage built on that premise and on that direction is not easy. It's something you work with, just like your walk with God, you work at it every day. And it's been wonderful. It's been exciting. It's been hard. It's been heartbreaking because we're walking in a way that we're maturing. And maturity, when we look back, we'll be like Christ and we'll say, thank you, Father. Thank you because you loved me. You disciplined me. You stayed with me. There's many different things, and it's worth it. The ultimate is worth it. But it's not easy. You know, you're bringing to mind one word we haven't really mentioned yet is commitment. There has to be a commitment. Or when things get tough, people run. And part of why there's divorces is that lack of commitment to the partner that they agreed to be with. And so when it gets tough, that's when it's tested. And it's easy. It's the easy road to get a divorce. But it's difficult when there's such a disagreement that you want to hurt each other to let it go. And it's not easy. And when you let it go and go back and start over somewhere, somebody has to be the stronger person that says, I love you too much to argue like this. This is not what the Lord wants with us. We have to understand that there are forces out there who would love to divide. And we refuse. And you have to set your heart to not allow a divisiveness to come in between you. Because when that does, there can be a point where it just is irreparable. So you have to have that commitment. You have to have the understanding that things are not going to be super sweet all the time, you know. I'm glad you brought it up, Alan, because to me the foundation of commitment is honesty and integrity. And commitment is not overlooking. You can get into a situation and say, well, you know, I'm going to overlook that. I can live with that. And that's not commitment. And commitment is the foundation, I'll say it again, is honesty and integrity. And that means that if something comes up, you will love your wife or love your husband enough to sit down and be honest with them and say, hey, this is not working. We've got to do something about this. And the other person has to respond with the same level of commitment. You have to believe it. And that's where it generates within two people the ability to make a successful partnership and go forward as one unit. I don't know whether it's in the scriptures or not, but it's at the end of every marriage is that marriage ceremony is who God has put together, let no man put asunder. And that's a commitment. That's a demand for honesty and integrity in a relationship. And that's always going to be challenged. And like you say, Satan is going to come along and he's going to throw all kinds of crap at you, at both of you. And it's going to be that commitment that's founded in honesty and integrity that will make it successful. Are you taking the time each day to work on your relationship with your spouse? Through troubled times, are you committed to show kindness with acts of love, no matter what presents itself? What foundation are you building on? We hope this time has helped you to look objectively at your relationship and encouraged you each day to show kindness and love to the person that you're committed to. Experiencing the impartation of God's word through his family is life. At this time in his presence bless you. Then please subscribe to our podcast at livebehindtheveil.com. If you would like to contact the family with questions or topics that you would like discussed, you can email them to livingepistles at livebehindtheveil.com. Stay connected, tuned in, and grow with the family as the Lord unveils his word to us live behind the veil.