Can Women Be Nice to Eachother?

The speaker and her twin sister discuss the topic of women supporting each other. The sister shares a personal story about a girl she just met who betrayed her trust by revealing a secret crush. They discuss the importance of trust and how women can sometimes be two-faced. They also mention how women in the media are often pitted against each other based on looks, success, and skin color. They bring up the example of Angela Bassett not clapping for another actor's win and how people reacted differently to her compared to a white nominee. They also touch on the idea of friendships being tested during spring break and whether there should be a test for friendships to continue. All right guys, welcome to another episode of Point Blank Period. Today I have a special guest with me, my day one OG. Hi you guys. My name is Brianna. I'm her twin sister and this is my first time on her podcast and I'm really excited. Yes, I'm so glad that you're excited because I'm excited. So today, okay, so to start off, this month is Women's History Month, right? And I want to talk about today, can women be nice to each other? And so what I want to ask you is, do you believe that women can be supportive of one another? You know what? Yes, I do believe that. And not just because I'm a girl's girl. I am very trusting of women. I don't know if we're going to get into the time yesterday, or I don't know if we're going to do the questions first. Anything you want to do. So like we can go into your thing that I think is very fitting to, you know, can women be nice to each other? I don't know. Yeah. So I am very trusting, especially when it comes to women because, you know, like I believe that we should all be on each other's side, especially as black women. So yesterday, I, it's been just chaotic. I, you know, made the choice of telling this girl, and we just met, we just met like maybe a week ago, and I thought she was really cool. And I told her that I had a crush on somebody, and she went ahead and told him and everyone at my job. And not only did that make me like, I was so mad about that. And usually I don't really want to be mad about that, because like, okay, like, okay, you told, you told everybody like, okay, like, let me not make a big deal, but it was a big deal to me because I'm like, okay, I have a crush on him, and now everybody knows, and like, like the topic of conversation is now about me, and you know that I'm a very personal person. Yeah, you are. So it's not like, oh, I'm going to do the same thing, I'm not going to get any revenge, like that's not, I'm just going to act the same way, as I've always been acting towards her, just nice, but this time it's just going to be highs and highs, and that's it. And I just want to know like, what was the reason, you know, like, you are, you don't know me, like, it's not like I was like, it's just, I was just taken aback. I was. And I was like, wow, this girl really did that. And yeah, I just don't really get why women like that, like, feel the need to tell something that's very like, like, I felt like was a secret, like, do I have to tell you, hey, this is a secret, like, please don't tell anybody. No, I feel, I feel that, because at first, when you told me about it, I was like, ain't no way, like, yeah, because you, like I said, like, like you said, you're a very private person, so I was very surprised that when you tell somebody something, like, it should be implied, like, hey, if I'm telling you this, don't go, don't go around and start talking to people. Like, yeah. So I definitely think it gives me major side eye, because it's like, I can't trust anybody really. Yeah, it was side eye. I was just like, okay, like, now I can't even, like, trust her. I only trust, like, maybe two people at my job, because like, I'm like, okay, I'm just going to tell, like, two people at my job, and then, obviously, you, and I was so mad about it, I even brought it up to mom, and, you know, like, I don't want to bring up pressures to mom. Yeah. So you know it's bad. Yeah. So, yeah. So, you have to be careful about women like that. Yeah. And that made me, like, oh, I'm about to lose my mind. Right. Like, I get to become those people who are like, I can't be friends with girls, like, Sorry. Sorry, females. Right. No female. No female club. No girl. But, yeah. That was a, that's the story time that happened for me, for your viewers. No, that's. Your listeners. Yes. Our listeners are very intrigued by your story, I believe. So, what I want to bring up next is, with how you see women interact with each other on the media, do you think that it's because of, you know, maybe how a person looks, like body image, or the success that they have, or the color of their skin? Like, do you think that also plays a role in why women would find an issue to not be nice to each other? Yes. You tend to, like, see that, especially, like, I haven't been in that corporate setting where, like, oh, I'll try to, like, be, like, the other woman. For, like, black women, such as ourselves, I even think, oh, let's, like, support other black women, you know? That's just me. Like, no matter, like, who you are, like, I'm, like, I'm going to support you, no matter what. Like, even if I don't know you, and you're doing amazing things, I'm going to, like, yup, like, that's period. You're doing great. No, like, I hate, like, people, like, especially, like, when girls, like, go on Twitter, go on Insta, like, you can't really trust these females. You can't really trust them because they're not, like, they are not supporting you. Like, are they, like, two-faced? And I'm, like, maybe it's you. Maybe it's, like, really you. Because I'm, like, you're only your passion woman, like, on a daily, but will take back any man that would just be, like, so, what you doing tonight? My baby, like, no. I definitely, oh, go ahead. Yeah, no problem. Um, like, based on, like, the media and stuff like that, I know we were talking, we were going to bring up the Angela Bassett situation. Yup. And how people were saying, like, why isn't she not clapping when Jamie, like, hurt his swine. And I understand, like, how long has Angela Bassett been in the game? And she hasn't won an Oscar yet? A long time, yeah. So, for all these women to be, like, wow, she should have, like, support, like, she should have just clapped, like, just be a good sport. For me, if I lose, like, of course, like, I'm going to, I'm that type of person, like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm going to be, like, a sore loser. I'm, like, are you serious? Like, I didn't, when, especially if I was Angela Bassett, she has won all these awards and coming up to the Oscar now. Sorry, you're not going to get it. And? I feel some type of way, too. I feel like she's been in the game long enough, no offense to Jamie Lee Curtis, though. I know she's been in the game, too. But her performance versus hers. Let's just leave it at that. Yeah, I agree, because she's, Angela Bassett has been in a lot of leading roles in, like, really major movies. And she's always showed out in every single one. I was shocked when her name wasn't called for Best Supporting Actress. That's crazy to me. But I also, like, going back to your point about how people are just, how women are just, like, I'm going to take my man back and stuff like that. Like, I don't really think it's an internalized thing where they, like. Internalization? Yes, yes, that's the word. Because it's, like, it's not, I don't think it's the other person that's affecting you. It's something on the inside that's making you react in that way. Exactly. Like, maybe something got, like, happened. Maybe you had been in a competition with your mother. Right. And that's why you act like that. And I don't understand that, because I don't have that with my mom. But I empathize with that. Because, like, okay, I feel bad for you that you're, like, attacking women like this. But I also don't, because you can get the help that you need. And you can be like, hey, wait, I'm a woman, too. So why am I doing that, too? I'm just, like, especially, let's not even bring up, what's it called? I'm a boy's mom or something like that. Oh, yeah. Like, you know, those typical women just react in, like, different. Yeah. And to go back to, like, the Angela Bassett situation, the Diane Warren, she lost, like, for, like, she's been nominated for so many Oscars. Oh, yeah, yeah. And she, like, loses every single one of them. And when she lost, she didn't clash. She looked so bad. But no one was getting on her. Hello? Are we going to also, like, go off on Diane Warren who didn't, like, clap, who didn't smile for the one who did, like, when, I think it was, like, what, Song of the Year or something like that? Yeah, something like that, yeah. Yeah, something to do with music. So we're not going to. Okay. It's just, like, again, with attacking black women. Yeah, I agree, because people pick and choose who they want to support when it's convenient for them. Yeah. Especially on social media. Like, if one person has, like, a really good statement about somebody else, they're going to be like, oh, let's cry around this person because it makes sense. And it spoke, like, higher values. And people are getting, like, they like it. And so they're like, oh, let's just hop on this idea and not have their own opinion. Exactly. Exactly that. So I agree with that. Yeah. I also brought up the fact that, you know, Spring Break is happening, and I haven't seen a lot of videos of people, like, this is when friendships, female friendships are getting tested the most. Like, the friends that you make in the fall are, you know, going to be tested in the spring. So I just want to know what you think about that. Like, do you think friendships should have, like, a certain structure where it's, like, if you don't pass this test, then it's done. Like, we're not friends anymore. No, I, I, it should not be like that. And you know how I've been through with, like, with my relationship with friends, and especially people who are girls, because, okay, like, I don't get, like, the whole thing of having guy friends versus girl friends. You know what I'm saying? Because, like, having a guy friend, like, as a girl, it's, like, easy. Like, but for, um, having friends with girls, it's more, it's, like, you treat that, like, as you treat a relationship, I feel like. And I feel like, um, to be like, oh, if you want to stay, you're out. I, I get it if, like, I've been through, like, like, the ringer with friendships, and, like, I'm that kind of person that stays, like, I will stay, and then you will have to leave me, for real. So, like, when it comes to friendships, um, with women, um, I had a friendship I thought was great, and it ended, because she had some problems in her life, and looking back, um, I, I would have been mad, but right now, like, I hope she's doing well, and stuff like that. I hope she's, like, um, that she's healed that part of her life, but I don't believe that you shouldn't, like, oh, one thing, you're out, because, like, just like romantic relationships, platonic relationships should be treated the same, you know what I mean? Yeah, I agree, because it's not, you know, it takes two people to make that relationship work, and if you're not willing to put in the effort and, you know, be there and be present, then what's the point at the end of the day? So, do you think that, with, I know we discussed, like, body image, age, success, I mean, success, but, like, do you think age kind of plays a role in it, like, ageism? Oh, my gosh, um, honestly, I think it maybe does, like, the older you get, you think, especially if you're married, you're like, oh, maybe I just need my husband, or, or wife, depending on, and you're like, oh, I don't need any friends, I don't need any girlfriends, and I don't think that's true, like, you need something besides, like, your husband at the end of the day, you need something that will help you, um, be saved in life, I feel like my friends help me keep me safe, like, help keep me sane, like, I'm excited to see them, even though we don't see each other a lot, I'm excited to see them every time I go visit them, and, like, imagine a life, and you're just with your husband. Yeah. And I understand when people are like, well, if you're with your husband, like, your husband's your best friend. Right. Girl. You, that's why I do not agree, especially, I hear, like, I watch a lot on TikTok, like, when you plan a date with your friend, and then they're like, can I bring my boyfriend home? Oh, yeah. Like, no, girl, like, he needs to stay home, and basically, I agree with that, like, why do you want to take your boyfriend with us when we're having a girl's day? Like, it's not like, you're gonna see him after this, what's the problem, you know? Yeah. Maybe that's like, we're not in a relationship, we don't understand, but I feel like to understand, you need to make effort, like, you can't just be like, oh, I'm in a relationship, so I understand, like, I understand why they want the boyfriend along, like, no, girl, like, you have to train yourself to be like, okay, I'm gonna treat this as a relationship, just like my boyfriend and stuff like that. I think also having those boundaries and knowing, like, oh, this is when I want to spend time with, like, my person versus when I spend time with my friends is really important because, you know, some people have, like, attachment, like, problems with attachment, like, oh, I need to be with my person, like, my significant other, like, at all times, and if they're not with me, like, it's an issue, like. You know what, let's talk about that because it's about codependency. Yeah. It's literally such an issue, I had when I was in freshman and sophomore year, you know, I was dating, you know, I had such codependency issues, and I think he also had codependency issues, too, like, to be honest, let me be, like, frank with this relationship, I didn't even know that we were dating because I thought it was asked out, you know, like, this was my first boyfriend, and I didn't know, like, what the thing is, but, like, you know, since he thought we were dating, you know, I was like, let me just go along with this, like, I guess we're dating now, but it also came to a time when he's like, what are you doing, like, can I just come see you, and I didn't have any time for even you or other people I could call friends or something like that, and he was just, like, there, like, and I was like, oh, he's, like, my really good friend. Yeah, not to, like, put my own opinion on your relationship, but I do remember when you're with him, and I remember, like, man, she's spending so much time with him, like, all the time, and, like, every time I see you, like, he'd be there, so I'm like, oh, okay, I guess I'll see you later after class or something, but I was like, well, I guess I'll catch her later, but I did feel like there was some sort of attachment that was just, like, okay, like, do you have your own life, like, do you have friends, do you have hobbies, like, I just don't like the idea of always being with your significant other all the time, but then again, like, I haven't, you know, really been, I haven't been in a relationship yet, so who am I to say, but that's just my two cents on that. No, and when you do, like, I'll tell you, like, hey, girl, you bring your boyfriend everywhere with you, but no, it was really bad at the point where I was like, I don't know really who I am, and now that, like, I'm not even in a relationship right now, like, I feel, and I'm looking at other relationships, I feel like, okay, maybe I can get into one and start to see, like, because it's just trial and error, you're human, you're not going to be perfect, and, yeah, I'm trying to, I'm just trying to figure it out, like, for dating life. Yeah, I agree, and I think when you do get into a relationship, you do have to, it changes your, how you live your life, because you're like, oh, now I'm in a committed relationship, how am I going to dedicate time to my friends, my work, my hobbies, and things like that, and just balancing everything, I can't imagine it, I think it's just really busy, but I think, you know, if you manage it well, then it works, it can work. It can work, and that's what I want for, like, all of my relationships, like, you never want to think, like, the worst of it, like, when you meet a person, and to go back to that situation when I told that girl about my crush, like, I did not think the worst of her at all, something in me was like, okay, you're kind of, like, asking me a lot about my crush, right, like, you're like, okay, maybe, like, there's something, like, your intuition was like, like, my intuition was like, oh, god, like, there's something wrong, like, why is she doing this, like, if I could tell you the story, let me, like, to tell you again, and to fellow listeners, she was the one who brought it up, I was just minding my business, and she was asking me, like, hey, how are you, and I was like, I'm good, I noticed that she was wearing eye shadow, and it was glittery, and, you know, I love glitter, so I was like, oh, my god, I love your eye shadow, it's, like, so glittery, she's like, oh, my god, yeah, it seems like only you and, like, my crush noticed that about my eyes, and I'm like, oh, is he here today, and then she's like, no, he's, like, not, he's not working, and I was like, oh, yeah, you're right, because he's not putting his business out there, not putting his business out there, but he's, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, because he's leaving in a few, like, he's not working here anymore, and she's like, what, he's not working here, I'm like, yeah, and then she was like, no, he is still working here, he would have said bye to me, and I was like, oh, yeah, okay, like, okay, cool, cool, cool, and she's like, wait, you have a crush on him, don't you, and I was like, yeah, I do have a little crush on him, like, that's it, that was it, and then you decide to tell every server, and then, like, make it seem like I'm fawning, like, I was fawning over the conversation, like, as soon as you said, yeah, I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, about the man, yeah, I think that's messy, I think she's, I mean, I think she wanted to create some drama, like, things are getting a little stale, she's like, oh, I have a little story I can run with, let me just, you know, whisper in everyone's ear about this, and, like, get things going, and I think the point of that conversation, like, the point of this conversation is because you never, because I didn't expect her to do it, like, because I believe, like, when, like, I want to be friends with somebody, I'm like, okay, like, this person's trustworthy, like, they're not going to do something so stupid of, like, telling my secret, like, that's just me, that's, like, just me being, like, but maybe I was being naive, and maybe I was just, like, trying to, like, you know, if you try to bring it up again one time, and I was, like, not having it, like, that was before I even found out, and I'm glad some, like, that didn't happen, but, yeah, you wouldn't think, like, I think the moral of the story is, like, sometimes keep stuff to yourself. Yeah, there's some things you can't reveal. I also wanted to add to that, because when you are trying to be friends with someone in the beginning, you always have, like, the best intentions, like, you believe they will have the best intentions for you, and so, as someone who has been back and forth with friends and stuff, you know, and you always want to be, like, oh, this person would never do that to me, they would never talk about me behind my back, they would never do X, Y, and Z, but now, like, I just have, like, a really, like, I have a guard up, and it's, like, oh, why do I do that, because I don't have a lot of friends now, like, so, to people out there who don't have a lot of friends or are struggling to make friends who are, what advice would you give them? I would say keep going, do not be, like, oh, now I can't trust the next person, like, no, girl, you can't trust the next person, because what if that next person is, like, your friend for life, and for me, I used to be, like, I know you see me, Jada, as, like, very extroverted and, like, people, like, I talk to a lot of people, but I used to be introverted as well, I didn't want to go up to people as well, I would say go up to people, like, don't be shy, like, show, not show your, like, real self right away, but, like, like, start talking to people, and if they, it's okay to move slow with your personality, like, not show your personality all at once, because that's okay, like, this is just trial and error, like I said, like, it's not easy at first, but you'll probably be in your head a lot, like, oh, my God, am I, like, why am I like this, but I promise you, everybody is in their heads like that, and you just have to start by, like, saying, hey, like, I'm not weird, like, I'm a good person, I'm fun to be around, and, yeah, like, I will make the friends along the way that, you know, life will let me. Yeah, that's really good advice, because I remember you telling me, like, one day, where it's, like, if you think something about yourself, other people are going to believe it, too, so you have to think, oh, I'm a great person, I'm social, I'm interesting, et cetera, et cetera, and you will attract those people the way, you know, life intends you to, but I also think you can't force things that aren't happening, like, I remember I was friends with this girl in college, and, like, in the beginning, I was like, oh, my gosh, like, she wants to be friends with me, like, this is amazing, and then she started doing things that I just didn't really agree with, and that just kind of made me uncomfortable, and so I was like, well, you know, she's still my friend, and, you know, in college, it's like, you know, oh, my gosh, this could be my friend for life, like, if I don't, like, put effort into it, so I just started following along, and then I was like, I don't really feel good about this, and so when I, like, was starting to, like, put distance between us, like, she just was like, I don't know, like, she just kind of switched up on me, and I was like, well, back to square one, so I really do, it really does depend, like, I think your friends come in seasons, and sometimes they're in certain parts of your life, and then in other moments, like, you don't talk anymore, because, you know, that happens to me, so. Like college, be like. Yeah, I think it's really hard to stay in contact with people after college, at least for me. Raise your hand if you're still friends with people from college, and you're not in a sorority or fraternity. Right. Please. No, I think I'm also going to have to make the effort, like, right now, I feel like, okay, I can't really reach out to them, I feel like people are doing their own thing in their own places, like, I'm still living with my mom and dad, like, I don't think right now I can reach out, because if I reach out, they're going to be like, oh, let's go down town, and let's go down to Chicago, like, I am so down for that, but let me check in with my mom. Yeah, let me ask my mom first. Let me get back to you. Hey, mom, what's the curfew? Curfew? Oh, girl, it's not going to work. Sorry, girl. That's what we have to talk about. Remember, I was invited to go to Missouri? Yeah, girl. For a girl's trip. So this girl, I was friends with her for a long time, like, we've been friends for like two years, and her birthday was coming up, right? And she invited me, she's like, hey, you should come down to Missouri, and, no, St. Louis, St. Louis, Missouri, and she's like, you know, I'm having my birthday party at this Airbnb, and you should, you know, come through. I was like, yeah. So I told her, of course, I was like, yeah, I'll let you know. And I asked my mom, I was like, hey, mom, can I, like, go? She's like, yeah, yeah, for sure. And, like, two days later, after, like, I was on that high, I looked at the Airbnb and everything, and I was like, well, I've never really been to this side of town before, and my mom was like, I don't know if it's a good idea, Jada, like, you, like, you never, like, even left, like, the state by yourself for more than, like, two days. Like, what makes you think that you can handle this? And then I was like, well, I guess I'm not going, because. No, and honestly, I think the whole thing, trial and error, okay? Like, I feel like you, like, in my opinion, you should have experienced that. Like, as someone, like, when are you going to experience that, like, on your own, by yourself? Like, I feel like it was a great opportunity, especially because you live at home right now, and mom's, like, and dad is here, like, you should have been able to experience that. Like, I understand that this world is dangerous, but this world can also be fun. Like, you have a, you have, she has a friend, like, for, like, two years, you guys, two years, and she invited her to her birthday party, and she didn't have to go to that Airbnb. She would have, like, understood, like, you could have, like, stayed at another hotel or something like that, but I just felt like for you to experience, like, for us to experience this, it just has to happen, like, where you have to be, like, okay, like, let us experience something so we can be, like, ready when we're by ourselves, you know? Yeah. I definitely think if the circumstances were different, like, if it was, if I just, like, knew more about, like, traveling on my own better, because, like, I have traveled alone, but it, that was, like, like, how many years ago, you know? Yeah, but you were, like, 16, right? And you traveled by yourself. Yeah. So, like, do you see, like, how it is to, like, okay, like, 16, travel by yourself to Yale, but 22, can't travel to see your friends? Yeah, I also want to add that we never met in person, though. Yeah. So, that also adds, like, some questions, but, I mean, I know she's real, but, I don't know, like, I agree with you, like, sometimes you just have to experience things, and that reminds me of the, what's it, the Kardashians? I don't know if you know that episode. Yeah. Where Kendall, she's like, you have to experience things to experience things. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, same, so real. That's what I feel about dating, honestly. I feel like, I know we're, like, off topic. It's probably, I don't know if it's history one, but it's probably history one. Right. Like, that's what I feel about dating, too. I feel like I can't even date right now, especially if I live here with my parents. It's awkward. It is. I love you, Mom, I love you, Dad, but it's awkward. It is, like, you, you know, a lot of guys have asked me, like, so, uh, you live alone, or, I'm like, um, no. Nar, sorry, Nar. Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, and we also have, like, all these things. And I got a curfew, and I got church on Sunday, so we can't. Like, I've been friends with, you know, Lauren, I'm gonna put them right here. Lauren and Jackie, if you're watching this, are hearing this. I've been friends with them for many years, and you know how every time I come, Brianna, what's the, what's your curfew? What's your curfew now? I'm like, well, it's getting higher each year. For real. But, yeah. You know, one day, you'll be like, remember that time when we were at home, and we couldn't do, I mean, not that we can't do anything, it's just, um, it's just a little bit more difficult. You can't, you can't move the same way you did in college. Especially, yeah, you cannot, you come back home, and it's like a whole different. That transition that we talked about, when you move back home with your parents, yeah. So, uh, any last thoughts, or? Honestly, this was fun, and I would love to be a guest again, in the future. I know this is you and mom's thing, but this was really fun. Yeah, thank you so much for joining, like, you should definitely come back, um, when we have more, like, spicy topics, definitely want to ask you to come back, because this was a really good episode to have you, um, talk with me about. Thank you, sister. You're welcome, sister. So, that is the end of our podcast episode, one week period, hope you guys enjoyed, and keep a look out for our next episode, um, you can find us on Spotify. So, yeah, we'll see you guys next time. Bye. Bye.