Details
Comedy
Details
Comedy
Comment
Comedy
Ready? Nah. I don't think y'all ready. Yes! Ladies and gents, kings and queens, I would like to welcome you to the one and only outside in. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you are now tuned in to the one and only outside in. The newest and loudest podcast out. Thank you so much for tuning in. I am your host with the most. My name is Stretch, one of many hosts here on the outside in. How's everybody doing today? I just want to start by saying greetings and salutations. I hope everyone's doing all right. Beautiful day outside. In my neck of the woods. Don't know exactly where you're located at, but just want to say where I'm at, very beautiful, very beautiful. Nice little scenic views. Sun peeking around the corner. You know what I mean? Sucks for you if you got rain in your area, but hey, is well ends well. I like that shit, right? Dropping jewels. So once again, for y'all who do not know, you are now tuned in to the one and only outside in. Again, I am one of your many hosts with the most. I go by the name of Stretch. You know this show, we pretty much talk about any and everything just from my outside opinion. You know what I mean? Not politically correct on any subject matter that we talk about. We're just talking to have a good conversation. You know what I mean? If we drop jewels, then we drop jewels. You know what I mean? But hey, it is what it is. Outside in. I'm just an outsider. You know what I mean? Clap for the outsiders, damn it. So, I'm like, you know, I'm not picky. I like many, many different things. So I feel like today I'm going to talk about fucking food. I make the best mashed potatoes in the world, by the way. I put money on that shit. I am not telling you my ingredients because that's the, I think that's the secret of making some good shit because if you tell somebody your ingredients, then they might fuck around and, you know, it's that blueprint of what you made some shit. You know how many people think that's true? Y'all think that's right? Yeah? Okay. I had some fucking cheese eggs this morning. That shit was awesome. Fucking awesome. Y'all like cheese eggs? Everybody don't make them the same. I can't eat everybody's cooking. I am picky in that sense. I cannot eat everybody's cooking. You know what I'm saying? Some people just can't fucking cook. I'm sorry. Some people just can't cook. Like, I don't know. Who the fuck told you, you know what I'm saying, that your kitchen card was good, but some of them shits need to be fucking apart. Like, if you're making cheese eggs and that shit like sticking to the fucking pan and shit and then you see the person scrape the pan the fucking, uh, bro, that's fucking disgusting, bro. If you make cheese eggs and your shit is sticking to the pan and you fucking scrape the pan, you do not know how to fucking cook. That's facts. You do not know how to cook if you scrape the fucking pan with the cheese eggs stuck to the bottom of that shit because now you're just scraping up flakes and shit and it's just disgusting. Nah, I'm cooking, motherfuckers. Anyway, how much cheese is appropriate for the proper amount of cheese eggs? Like, it's not cheese eggs if you don't put enough fucking cheese in it, right? I mean, you know, shit, that's what the fuck they call it cheese eggs for. Hell, I've seen some that fucking look like it's been one piece of cheese per eight fucking eggs and shit. That shit's unpleasant. You need to revoke your fucking kitchen card. Kitchen card should be expired. Should be expiration dates. Like, you should have a fucking kitchen check-in date. Like, you know what I'm saying? If you claim to be a good cook, I feel like every once in a while somebody should show up at your fucking house and be like, alright, what's the deal on your fucking kitchen card? You know what I'm saying? Cook some fucking meatloaf right fucking now. Make some scrambled eggs right fucking now. And if you don't use the proper amount of cheese, salt, pepper, and I'm not gonna say whatever the fuck else you put in there, but if you don't use enough of that shit, then damn it, you should lose your fucking kitchen card. Step away from the fucking frying pan. You know what I mean? Also, gotta put butter. If you don't put butter in your fucking cheese eggs, you're terrible. Gotta put butter in your fucking cheese eggs. What's wrong with people? Yeah, further note. Meatloaf. Fucking love a good meatloaf. Spaghetti too. I love a fucking good spaghetti. Me or is it fucking pasta is always better the second day? Like is pasta always better the second day? I think so too. Pasta is always better the second day. Like if you can really cook, I'm talking about cook. I'm talking about like next level Paula Deen type cook. You can fucking throw down in the kitchen. Your leftover pasta should be better than it was the first fucking day. I'm sorry. Do y'all agree? Y'all agree? I definitely agree. Shit. Noodles should still be fresh like you just fucking cooked them motherfuckers. You know what I'm saying? Little bit of hot sauce. What ingredients do you use? I've seen many people make many different versions of fucking like spaghetti and shit. And I'm not gonna lie. Man, I make a mean ass spaghetti too. You know what? I don't even think, look, come pull up on me. Y'all can try me for my kitchen card. You know what I'm saying? I'm pretty sure you will not be let down. You know what I'm saying? My shit will be at damn good for the next four years after the shit that I make in the kitchen. You know what I'm saying? Hell yeah. Hands down. Like that shit? Yeah. I have witnesses though. I'm not just talking to be talking. You know what I'm saying? I have let people experiment and try the things that I have experimented with and I be damn. It's been a great time. It's been that and a little bit of that. You know what I'm saying? There has been a time or two where it was like... But yeah, for the most part, I fucking nailed it. You know what I mean? Nailed it. So, once again, for those of you who do not know, you are now tuned in to the one and only Outside In. Yes, yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for your time. I appreciate you. I appreciate you. Y'all like bagels? Y'all a bagel fan? Anybody out there like bagels? Fuck you too. I was just asking. Anyway, you know what I'm saying? I know people who eat everything bagels. Like that's everything. Fucking bagel looks like it came out the dirt. Got fucking seeds and grains and shit on it. How can you possibly enjoy that? Like fucking bite into a bagel and grains sticking in the gum and shit. Now you gotta go to the dentist because you got a staph infection in your gum from a piece of grain from poppy seeds and shit. Like... Anyway, I thought it was fucking funny, but... Hey, you might not. Outside In. You are now tuned in. Yes, like I said, my opinion doesn't mean shit. I'm just here speaking on what's on my mind. You know what I'm saying? From an outsider. You know what I mean? But I'm pretty sure some of you out there like, man, you know what? He right. Fucking everything bagels. Like how the fuck do they eat that shit? Especially with just regular cream cheese. No flavor. Might as well be eating fucking sawdust or some shit. It's terrible. Anyway, anyway, tell a friend, tell a friend. You are now tuned in to the one and only Outside In. Yes, yes, I hope you have a blessed and wonderful day. Peace.