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Self-Trust & Self-Forgiveness Private Podcast Episode.
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Self-Trust
Self-Trust & Self-Forgiveness Private Podcast Episode
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Self-Trust & Self-Forgiveness Private Podcast Episode.
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In this special bonus episode of the Point of Impact podcast, Nigel LeVoyne discusses the importance of self-trust and self-forgiveness. He emphasizes the need to trust oneself, listen to intuition, and let go of guilt to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Nigel shares his personal journey of learning to trust himself and forgive past mistakes. He encourages listeners to reflect on childhood experiences that may have affected their ability to trust themselves and explores the concept of self-forgiveness. Nigel also shares a personal story about a difficult living situation and the importance of forgiving oneself for past decisions. Overall, the episode focuses on the significance of self-trust and self-forgiveness for personal growth and decision-making. Hello and welcome to the special bonus episode designed to accompany your deep dive worksheet on self-trust and self-forgiveness. Hello, if you haven't met me yet, my name is Nigel LeVoyne, the host of Point of Impact podcast. This is a private podcast that is just with this product that you purchased. It is meant to really help aid you so that way you can do a deep dive and figure out the root cause of any issues you may be having where self-trust and self-forgiveness is out of alignment. It is very important to trust yourself, to listen to your intuition. It is also important not to hold on to guilt, right? Not to feel guilty because that leads to overwhelm. It leads to you being out of alignment and you really not trusting yourself, not going after opportunities, maybe staying in relationships or situations for way too long and not really vetting on yourself. So let's dive right in. When we talk about self-trust, I want you to really think about what does that mean? We know what trusting someone else could mean for you. You may have a lack of trust for your environment, for the people that are that is around you, but I really want to focus on self-trust and how it is so important. Self-trust is when you are able to go within and really make a decision, really listen to your intuition and into your body, into your nervous system in order to be able to make a decision and stand on it and execute. It is so crucial for your personal growth and for your decision-making for you taking on opportunities or allowing opportunities that are not in alignment with what your true desires and goals are, allowing them to just fit. So I really want to give you something real quick. As I was on my self-telling journey and started a few years ago, I realized that I really just didn't trust myself. I always had to go to someone else for their opinion. I had to go ask somebody else what would they do? How would they feel? How would they think? And at the end of the day, they really couldn't give me what I needed because I needed that for myself. They could only give me what they would do in that situation. And when you go to someone, and there's nothing wrong with asking advice and getting a second point of view, but when it's a decision that you have to make that is going to affect you or your family, if you have children, your children, right? In fact, your internal and external environment going to someone else where the final outcomes, they will not be a part of, it will not affect them. It really is not healthy when that's all you can go through, when that's all you are reliant. And I just had this aha moment where I had to really understand that I didn't trust myself. I was holding on to things and situations and decisions that I've made in the past, allowing it to create mistrust. I missed several opportunities. And I stay in friendships and relationships and even living arrangements that I knew deep down didn't suit me. But because I made some past mistakes, because I really didn't trust myself, I couldn't move past that. So fast forward, I've worked on it and it's something that I work on every single day to really get in tune and be aligned with really trusting myself. And again, I'm not saying that I don't ask a person's opinion, but a person's opinion is really at the bottom, at the bottom, right? Maybe I might be looking for confirmation, but at the end of the day, I'm really learning to trust myself and forgive the versions of me that just didn't know, right? We go through situations and that might be the first time we are experiencing it and we make it through, but we hold on to unnecessary guilt that we don't have a willingness to. Okay, so I want you to think about this. What does self-trust look like for you? Really think about it. Really make sure that you can really define it because that is your starting point. I'm going to talk about early influences and we're going to go back to your childhood. A lot of times we are inundated with reasons not to trust our own intuition. It might be from our parents trying to keep us safe. We might've been in a school where everything we did, we had to go and ask someone to do it. Or we may not have been brought up in an environment that really allows you to make decisions, even if it was small decisions. Even if the outcome wasn't the best, as long as you were safe, you weren't allowed to do those things. So the relationships that we have with our parents, the relationships that we have with our parents and our siblings, and just the people that are in our lives early on really dictate how we learn to fail, right? How do we learn to just take that chance? And if it works, great. And if it doesn't, guess what? Great, because we get to do it again. I really want you to reflect on those childhood experiences that may have made you feel invalid. They may have made you feel like you didn't trust yourself. You couldn't trust your thoughts, your beliefs, because right there, what it did and what it will do if you continue to let it, it will create an internal voice, an internal pattern. And when you have an internal voice, every time you go to do something, it'll be a thought that you can't do it. You'll think up, you'll overthink it. You'll overthink all the possibilities of it going wrong. Or even worse, you'll get to 99.9% and just stop, right? And not fully executed and not fully show up for yourself. So really, as you go through the worksheet and as you go through this kit, I really want you to think about those childhood experiences. And a lot of people say, well, I'm grown, it doesn't matter anymore. But it does matter because we're operating, we're making decisions based off of feeling invalidated as a child, having those experiences of not being able to fail and learn and be praised that we tried again. When you don't have that, again, it will affect your relationships and it will affect your net. I want to then talk about exploring self-forgiveness. What does that really look like? A lot of times we are told, forgive other people to look past their wrongdoing. But when it comes to ourselves, we're really not taught to really forgive ourselves and what that looks like, right? What does it feel like when you allow yourself to have grace and understanding for maybe a decision or an action or a relationship or a thought process that you had that it gave you a result that you did not desire? How are you able to come back and to really allow yourself to process it, but then to forgive yourself, to give yourself grace? So you have to figure out the importance of what does forgiveness look like for you? Because it's so important for your mental and emotional well-being, okay? I'm going to give you a quick story. I just relocated for maybe like a test time to Arizona. But before then, I was in an apartment in North Carolina and that whole, it was overwhelming, right? It was mold. I didn't know my daughter was sick. She was diagnosed with autism. I'm autistic, by the way, if I didn't let y'all know, if you don't know that. But her symptoms came on so strong, it was like she woke up a different child with Tourette's, with OCD, and I didn't know we had mold. And I was in that apartment for two years or whatnot. And the list is up. I get to report back to the doctor that she has extreme levels of mold, dangerous levels of mold. And I knew we had to leave that place, you know, fast, fast. I didn't want to sign another year of lease. There were changing management companies and they're probably going to fix the problem. So I chose to go stay with my sister, same mother, different father. I knew that that wasn't the best option. Just from our past interactions, the way we grew up, how we interacted and where I was at mentally and emotionally at that, well, in my nervous system and when I tell you, I even had a down vote. They said, if you go here, it's going to not be good. It's going to be overwhelming. It's going to create a rift. And I allowed the fear, right? I allowed my current situation to really dictate that. So anyway, fast forward, we go, we move in, pay $900 a month to rent a back room. It was all help grow blue stuff in there. We helped me and my children help as much as possible. But unfortunately, she's the type of person where when you help her, it's just like, once the help is completed, she will forget that she even needed your help. But anyway, the whole experience was horrible for me and my children, but it was really eye opening. Now that I look at it, it was really eye opening. And I think I really needed to go through that, unfortunately, because I needed to learn how to trust myself. I didn't trust myself in my decision making process because in the back of my head, I'm like, well, why would I even move into a place that had moved? Why didn't I know it had moved? Why didn't I look out for the signs? Why was I in an environment that made my daughter sick? Not realizing it was really not my fault. I did what was required to make sure we had a roof over our head, and I just didn't know. So I had to come to a point, because it was a two-year process, and it was very hard, where I had to forgive myself. Because what happened was, it's like those thoughts started to spiral out of control. I started to think, what if I had more money? And if I had this, and if I had that, and if I didn't make the decision two years ago or four years ago, I wouldn't be here. So all of those thoughts really started to kind of play in the background and really showed up. But I had to really forgive myself. And it took a while, but it's so important. So we're here now. We're in Arizona, and we're taking one amazing moment at a time. I want to go on next to the past mistakes. And again, from the story I just told you, I've had a lot of past mistakes, really around stability and moving a lot and, you know, trying to find services for my children and like kind of running towards help. It was a lot, right? So we had those past mistakes. But when you hold on to them, it really affects your self-perception, how you perceive yourself, how you show up for yourself. It will hinder your growth, period, point blank. So I really want you to, I invite you to recall a significant mistake and explore the impact on your life. I want you to explore how is it impacting you right now, whether this mistake happened today, last week, last year, or years ago, or maybe, you know, even in your childhood. Like how is that mistake affecting you now? How much control does it have over you now? I then want to talk about shame and expectations. You know, when you don't trust yourself and you don't have forgiveness with yourself and grace, you carry a lot of shame, right? You carry shame around what you should have did, what you could have did, what you didn't do. And then you almost have a level of expectation that really is unrealistic. And when I say unrealistic is you have a level of expectation as if you trusted yourself. However, because you don't trust yourself, you can't meet that expectation. Because you don't have self-forgiveness, you're not able to meet that expectation. And then it kind of goes on a cycle, right? The cycle of guilt and shame and overwhelm. So I really want to encourage you to examine where are your expectations coming from and challenge them. Are they in alignment? You know, do you need to see, are those expectations, do yourself trust match those expectations? Have you forgiven yourself for things? Have you given yourself grace and space? Now let's dig deeper. Core beliefs are so important, which when your core belief will create your reality, it will create environment, it will create the versions of people that you get to interact, your core belief. So I want you to identify and challenge any negative core beliefs about yourself, really regarding how you trust yourself, how you show up for yourself, how you take on opportunities. Do you know when to leave the situation? Do you know how to forgive yourself? Do you know how to give yourself grace? And do you know how to hold space for yourself? I want to give you a few tips on how to recognize these beliefs and start changing them. Do you believe that every time you start something, you can't finish, right? Do you believe that even if you finish, no one is going to support you? Do you believe that you're not good at making decisions? Do you believe that you're not good at taking action? Because every time you take an action, it doesn't come out the way that you intended. It doesn't meet your expectations or what you really desire. So that core belief system, all it is going to do is really replicate the site. Because if you think it's never going to work out, situations will show up in your reality where it will never work out. If you have a hard time making decisions and really trusting yourself, you will be given decisions where it will be very difficult to hear your own voice, right? The outside noise will be so loud, you will not know if it's you, if it's a self-limited belief, if it's someone that doesn't have your best interest whispering into your ear. So you really want to get to the core belief. You got to figure out what is your core belief system. And guess what? It is okay if you are right now and you're like, you know what? I really don't trust myself. I haven't really given myself enough for self-forgiveness and self-grace. That is your core belief. But guess what? It can be changed. That's the beauty about knowing what it is and being able to show up for yourself and say, you know what? You can change your core belief at any point in time. I also want you to look at the relationships in your life. How significant relationships influence self-trust and forgiveness. Are you with a partner and every time you make a decision, they doubt it, right? They put it down. They try to pick it apart or take you apart. You want to think about this. And you also want to think about, do you have encouragement, access to encouragement, right? Do you have people in your life who actively encourage, even when you can't encourage yourself, even when you might be in a space where you know what, you're not really feeling it. I've had those days. Do you have someone in your life that gives you encouragement, right? That can show up. And if you don't, you really need to really do a deep dive into, do you want to keep that relationship? And if so, how can you let them know that, you know what, you're showing a difference and you expect it. You want to look at your personal strengths. We all have strengths. Even if you might be at a place where you feel like you have none, trust me, you're here right now, you have strengths. So you want to look and you want to figure out, okay, what are your personal strengths, whether big or small. You also want to look at your accomplishment. I can tell you right now, I used to be a person that if it was not a hundred percent done, it didn't count, it didn't matter. It didn't matter how much hard core work I put in, how much effort, how much stress went into it, how much of me had to maneuver, all of the things. If it was not a hundred percent done to me, it just didn't count. And I carried that mindset for a very long time, which really kept me on a cycle of not being able to be at completion. And it kept me from executing and all of these thoughts and overwhelming and just self-limiting beliefs just poured into me because of that mindset, of that core belief system. So you really want to like count. Everything is a win. I mean, every task, you break down a big goal, every task you complete, every sub-task you complete is a win. Because what it's going to do is create a reference point for you to rebuild your self-trust, for you to be able to listen to yourself, to be in tune with your intuition, and also want to give yourself grace. Because maybe you couldn't complete everything on a day that you said that you can complete it, but you got some tasks complete, right? Because you counted it. Now you not only are you really listening and honing into yourself and that everything is a win, now you're able to give yourself and extend yourself the grace that is required. So that way you don't get into self-sabotaging beliefs or behaviors or actions, okay? So moving forward, you have to practice self-compassion. Giving yourself grace, giving yourself space to be sometimes is very important in your health. It is very important in building up and rebuilding your self-trust and forgiveness for yourself. And here's some practical ways. You have to pump yourself up. Use affirmations, right? Use affirmations when you wake up. Have a routine or maybe a mini ritual where you create space for you to just be, for you to listen to your intuition, for you to be able to write those things down. Look at all of the decisions that you make throughout the day and treat each one of those decisions, even if it's as simple as brushing your teeth. As you listen to yourself, you trust yourself, you create a new reference point, right? You really want to hone in on every single task and every decision. That way it can build the self-trust. It can build your lead and going with your intuition. And again, it is a win. So that is a great way to be able to build your self-trust is look at every decision as you're building your self-trust. I want you to create a forgiveness ritual, right? What can you do to help yourself to forgive yourself? What is a thought process you can have that when you do something and maybe the outcome is not what you imagined it would be, that you're able to immediately sit down the false limiting thought, immediately sit down the guilt, immediately sit down the So really think about a ritual. And again, it doesn't have to be dramatic or it can, right? It's up to you, but you want it to be something where you can really activate when you need it. And the benefit of this is that you allow yourself to disdain. You let yourself know that you love yourself, you care about yourself, and that even if it didn't work out the way you said it will work out, that you're going to get back up and you're going to try again and you're going to try a different way. So a great way is journaling at the end of the evening, right? Is using affirmations, affirming thoughts when you get negative thoughts that require you to be able to self-forgive yourself. And it is a great way to start creating those rituals. And guess what? As your core belief system changes, so will the forgiveness process and whatnot, because you want to be present. So I appreciate y'all staying on here with me for this long. Hopefully you enjoyed it. And we're coming to the conclusion. I want you to reflect on your journey. And as you go through the affirmation first, the journal, the deep dive worksheet, be honest with yourself, give yourself space and love on yourself through this process. And I want to encourage you to regularly reflect on your progress. You have a seven-day journal, but guess what? Every single day, even beyond the seven days, you can revisit those questions. You can reach out for more. You can listen to the podcast, Point of Impact, that will be releasing soon, to even get more encouragement, more tips and tricks that are practical and that are accessible. So thank you for listening to this episode. Hopefully you enjoyed it. If you have any thoughts, you need any additional information, don't be afraid to reach out. You can reply to the email. You can connect to me. It is a list of ways to work with me. And again, you already have the self-trust you desire. You already have the self-forgiveness that you desire. You just have to activate.
