S02E08 Prison Purse

The opinions expressed during this podcast are conversational in nature and expressed for comedic purposes. Not all the facts will be correct. This podcast and the incoherent rankings within are often satirical and for entertainment purposes only. Viewer discretion advised. Hey what's going on guys? Welcome in, welcome back. Another episode of Not Sure Take My Keys. How we doing tonight gentlemen? Dr. Junk, how's it going man? It's going alright. Not a lot going on. Yeah. That's a good thing sometimes. Not a lot going on sounds pretty good to me. I like that. Mr. Foxtail, I know you got a lot going on. Tell us about, you got all sorts of happenings going on in the next little bit, don't you? Yeah, tomorrow, basically tomorrow I got to turn in my samurai helmet for the Texas State Fair art extravaganza. I don't even know what the hell it is really, it's just like art fair I guess, but not where you sell stuff, it's just you display it. I have to get judged, and then I have to get Adobe certified for Photoshop tomorrow afternoon. I take that test, and it's been like 103 degrees down here for like a month. Yeah, that sucks. We've actually had, the last two weeks have been like raining a fuck ton, the high 80s pretty much. It's been pretty, it's been kind of cool up here. Good for growing grass, I know that. Grass growing, weather. Lawn's looking a lot greener than it was a month ago. Mine's struggling. Yeah, you can hit mine with a weed killer, I'm getting a lot of weeds. You know, when you have thin, when you have a thin layer of turf, and it rains a lot, those weeds will pop up. You got to, you got to thicken, thicken up the coverage there. Thicken it up. It takes after its dad, so, you know. Not a lot, not a lot of coverage going on there. Not a lot of turf coverage going on underneath that hat, huh? All right, you guys ready to get into it? Let's do it. All right, so like right off the bat, story out of San Francisco, the San Francisco-Oakland Bay area, there was a gal that was driving erratically in traffic. Somebody called the cops on her, of course. But by the time the cops arrived, she had actually stopped her car in the middle of the highway. Close to, I guess, a toll booth area. And she got out. She's completely naked. Completely naked. And she's pissed. No one knows why. She's naked, she's pissed, and she's shooting a gun at random cars as they pass by. That's probably, when she rolled up, she saw the price that they're charging at that toll booth and fucking flipped her lid. Because it happens. It happens. I don't know if it's a digital one or not, but out here, I've watched it when I was driving and I get the certain time changes, like rush hour and stuff happen. I've watched it go from like $1.50 to like $5. It just right in front of my eyes just switch. Oh, fuck. Maybe she saw that and she just didn't like it. That was bad news, man. All right, so she was completely butt-ass naked and only had a gun on her. I'm guessing it was hot. Yeah, nothing on but a gun. Nothing on but a firearm. So where was she hiding that gun? In the car? No, she wasn't hiding it. She was waving it around, just popping shots off. She looked like somebody in front of the state fair. She's the little rubber duckies as they go by. She had to pull it out of somewhere. Oh, I see. You think maybe she had it. Yeah, weren't she had that? She had it in her prison purse? Is that what you're saying? Her holster? That's where it would be. Yeah. There was a bunch of people that caught it on camera as it was happening, a bunch of different videos that came through from it. There were dudes that were scared. There were dudes that thought it was hilarious. But, yeah, you could see her. Literally, she was just walking down the highway. There were no cars. The cars that were behind her were stopped. The cars that were in front of her were gone. Fucking just Scarface style. She was ripping off shots? Oh, yeah, lots of shots. Oh, man. See, I would be a little concerned because, man, watch out. What are you going to do, right? Watch out, now. I'd be busting out of there. I wouldn't be hanging out. San Francisco, basically right next to the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge, like right in the bay. I'd be maneuvering to look at that. Did the cops figure her out? No, they caught her, yeah. She apparently emptied the clip. She didn't have another one in her prison purse. So, the arrest footage was actually pretty chill. She just, like, sets the gun down and just walks over to the cops and puts her hands behind her back. Oh, no shit. So she just, like, gave herself up. She's like, I don't know. You hear about cops shooting people for maybe they did something wrong, maybe they didn't. And those chicks, they're just like, hey, come on, naked girl. Come over here. No big deal. Come on through. Well, that's crazy. And this was in San Francisco? Yeah, San Francisco. My favorite part, like, right at the end of the news clip, there was a guy, like, he was filming with his phone, and he's like, ain't nothing out here but guns and guns. That ain't no lie for sure. He ain't lying at all, man. He's telling the flat-out truth. He seemed really chill about the whole thing. I was amazed at his chill demeanor. Of course, he was done shooting by then, so I guess. Yeah, that would be fine. I'd have been out. He was, like, right up on it. Like, there she was 15 feet away getting arrested. Was she good looking? She was all blurred out, man. You couldn't really. Yeah, it was news footage, so it wasn't like. Yeah, you've got to find the Twitter footage is what you've got to find. And maybe, like, find, like, some Pornhub footage or something. She wouldn't be the only one shooting, you know what I mean? Maybe TikTok. I'll be firing off some bullets. Step-sister, why are you shooting at me? All right, well, speaking of people taking shots, Cardi B recently, fortunately, was not shot with a gun, but she did, when she was on stage performing, had a drink thrown on her. Yeah. And she immediately retaliated. Immediate retaliation, chucked the microphone over and hit the dude in the head. I know that there have been some updates on this since I originally got this story put together. So, Foxtail, what is the latest going on with this story? So, what I hear, I haven't seen any video on it, other than I have seen a video of the chick, like, splashing the drink up at her, and then she throws the microphone. First of all, I don't even think the girl that threw the drink at her, from the angle I saw it, I think Cardi B is not good at throwing. I'll tell you that right now. It looked like somebody that had nothing to do with any of it probably took the brunt of that microphone. I haven't heard anything otherwise on that. But, supposedly, she told people in the crowd to, like, splash her with water. So, I don't know if the drink was, like, a drink, and that was, I don't know, but I guess it was because it hit her in the face, but something about, like, there's that going on, is, like, she was actually telling the crowd to do that. It's like back in the day, Fred Durst telling you, get your ass down on the floor, like, what do we do? We rush down to the floor. Get down on the floor, yes, yes. So, what are you going to do when you're out there telling people to splash? She was asking for it? Yeah. So, at the very beginning of the concert, from what I understand, very beginning of the concert, she, like, came out, was like, man, it's hot out here, why don't you get me some of that water, you know, cool me down. But I think this happened, like, much later. So, you know, the Statue of Limitations had ended on water splashing time, in Cardi B's mind. Like, that was for a good, like, three minutes, now no splashing anymore. But, yeah, she, from what I understand, she hit the person that threw her, and then the person that threw it at her tried to file a police report, and they were like, no. No, that's not going to happen. Not going to happen. So, when I first read the article, it said, you know, Cardi B gets hit in the face and she throws it back. I thought, I was hoping, like, the thing she, like, she was throwing that ass back or something. She was, like, throwing that ass back at him or something like that. It's not what happened. No. It didn't even look like she was drinking water. Like, it looked like it just went right past her. Wow. Supposedly the same. Apparently this is, yeah, she's like an endemic thing. This is not the first performer recently. It seems like it's become a big deal to get drinks thrown at her. Like, lots of these bimbos are getting drinks thrown at them. I saw Baby Rexa. People are throwing their phones at them. Like, they're throwing their fucking phones at them. Like, why? Somebody hit Pink with their mom's ashes. They threw their mom's ashes at her. What? And they hit her and she, like, picked it up. She's like, those ashes are your mom? Like, why would you do that? I can see you throwing mom's ashes at, like, Taylor Swift or something, but not Pink. That doesn't make any sense. How did she know that that was, like, that girl's mom's ashes? Like, she got a big old support sign out there? Like, hey, those are my mom's ashes. I know. Yeah, like, how else would she know that? Like, man, she's psychic, man. Be like, yo, I think it'd be a bag of, like, cocaine or something. You know what I'm saying? I don't know if it was in a Ziploc bag or something, but I don't know. I saw other bitches like Kelsey Ballerini, Harry Styles. So it's a thing that's going on. It's, like, a post-COVID thing. I don't really get why. Why would you want to throw something at the person you're listening to? Like, I don't get it. It's, like. That's what I'm saying. If they suck, yeah. Like, you go to see Tool and the opening band is some shit band, and you're like, ah, fuck this. I mean, I would never throw anything at anybody if I could see it. But, like, you paid good money to go see baby Rexha, and you're like, I'm going to hit her with this bottle of tequila. It really makes no sense. You know, I think people are just. People are crazy, man. I think that they want stuff signed, and that's how they're doing it. They're just getting wild desperate now where they're just throwing shit up at you. Just like. Why would you throw your phone at them? Because they're hoping you FaceTime mom for them. You know what I mean? Be like, ah, shit, you want me to FaceTime your mom with this? Okay. You know, like, it's wild. It's a wild world. I can't remember what it was. Somebody hit him with the phone. He picked up the phone and, like, fucking smashed it. That's what I would do, too. Like, don't throw your fucking phone at me. Or throw it. Like, I've seen them, like, throw it the other way somewhere else. Or maybe off state. I don't know. But, yeah. Yeah. I just think people are rabid. They're just crazy, man. They're nuts. That makes me worried. But, so, back to the Cardi B aspect of this specifically. I know that she's used to having things thrown at her when she's on stage. It's just, historically speaking, it's been dollar bills, right? Yeah, right. She's a stripper. Do you think people are cheeseburgers at Lizzo? Jesus Christ. She's got allegations against her. She's got shit against her. She's like, once a year, once a year, you've got to take a pot shot at Lizzo. She's taken annually, one annual pot shot at Lizzo from junk. She's in the news for some bad shit, too. Yeah, she made the news, as well. What does Lizzo do? She has three backup dancers suing her for, like, body shaming and, like, sexual harassment and, like, all this stuff. And it's crazy that Lizzo would body shame anybody. Paint the kettle black type shit right there, you know? Right, right. That's some fucking entitlement there. Yeah, that might be more egregious than throwing shit on stage. Yeah, I haven't heard... Lizzo body shaming somebody? That's pretty fucked right there, man. I haven't heard enough on it. I don't know much about it. I just know that she's done, yeah, something about that, but not enough information. Yeah, she was mad that her backup dancers were gaining weight. Okay. Alright. I learned it from you, Lizzo. I learned it by watching you. Oh, shit, yeah. Normally, I would not normally take a shot at Lizzo, but if she's doing it to other people, then that opens up Pandora's box for me. That's a whole... That's a fair ballgame now. It's on. She's supposed to be, like, this... That's what I'm saying. Her whole persona is, like, how she's, like, a good person or something. It's like finding out that Ellen DeGeneres was actually, like, secretly, like, a huge bitch. It's like, ah, all my heroes. Yeah, or Jared from Subway, like, fucked all those kids. Crazy, man. Oh, man. That was less surprising, honestly. That was way less surprising. I... That one was, like... You may be shocked, but you're not surprised. Yeah, I haven't seen anything on Ellen. She disappeared. Oh, yeah, she disappeared. She disappeared hard. She got canceled. And she, you know, just like Lefty said, she's supposed to be, like, the best person in the world. And, yeah, she's a bitch. This is a not sure. Take my key sports minute. All right, so we got some news coming out of Kansas City, some sporting news coming out of Kansas City, which is rare, rarefied air for this time of year, the heart of baseball season for anything good that's happening. And it's relative. We got to keep that in perspective. The Royals are hot garbage. But here lately, they're on what now, six games, seven game winning streak? Six. And future phenom, future hall of famer, Bobby Witt Jr. has just done something that no, just a few moments ago, has done something that no other player has done in Major League Baseball history. Dr. Junk, what's going on with that? You put me on the spot. Is this the thing I sent you? Uh... Is this the thing I sent you? You put me on the spot here. Okay. Okay, I remember now. Bobby Witt Jr. is one home run shy. No, not anymore. As I'm reading this, he's one home run shy of becoming the first player in Major League Baseball history to record at least 20 homers and 30 steals in each of his first two seasons. And just 15 minutes ago, in their current game they're playing right now, he hit his 20th homer of the season. Right. So, he has achieved nirvana. He's first ballot hall of famer right now. It is pretty amazing that... Okay, first of all, it's amazing that he's... They've been playing baseball, professional baseball. They've been keeping track of stats for a long fucking time. It's amazing that he's the first one ever to do it. But it's also amazing that he's the first one ever to do it. It doesn't seem like an unattainable goal. 30 stolen bases and 20 home runs. No one's ever done that in their first two seasons. Ever. Like, Nicky Mantle didn't do it. Fucking Willie Mays. Eddie Bonds. Nope. Dang, Derek Jeter. Fucking Derek Jeter sucks. Jeter seed. Go back and listen to the episode Jeter Seed. Old Jeter Seed episode, that's right. Park him back. Jeter does suck. Bobby was way better than Derek Jeter. Jeter got killed. His whole career. He's seventh in the AL in war right now. He's obviously not going to win MVP because Shohei Otani exists. And that dude is a freak of nature. That's probably the best baseball player ever. This obviously gives us a nice building block for the future. Maybe they sign Shohei Otani in the offseason to pair him with Bobby Witt. Yeah, that's probably going to happen. They got to do something if they want to get this stadium passed. They're going to make some kind of splash. It's not going to be that. It's not going to be that big of a splash. I think the splash may be, hey, let's extend Bobby Witt Jr. to a 10-year contract to get this guy locked up. That's a splash. They should have done that earlier this year and it would have been a lot cheaper. Yeah, well, he fucking didn't look like this dude earlier this year when it would have been a lot cheaper. I knew it was going to happen. No, you just have the precog. I have several rookie cards. I have his MLB signed ticket stub. I have lots of Bobby Witt Jr. stuff. So, yes. And that tells you the future. No, it just shows that I am. If you rub the card and you focus on it real hard and look deep into his eyes, that tells you the future. It's going to happen in 2024. It just shows I am. All right, well, staying in Kansas City and speaking of matters of faith, we've got some issues going on at Chiefs Camp right now. Biggest issue, there's a rather large gentleman who has still not shown up. Chris? Kind of a big deal. Mr. Chris Jones. Looks like he's going to continue his holdout. And I'm a little bit nervous. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm honestly quite, okay, I'm a little shocked that he's being this greedy because he did sign a four-year, $80 million deal. He has money. It's not like this is his first big deal or whatever. You know, he's got some money, and it was always said that the Chiefs wanted to make him the second highest paid defensive lineman in the NFL behind Aaron Donald, and that's what Chris Jones wanted as well. The issue is the second highest paid right now makes $24 million a year, and Aaron Donald makes $31 million a year. So I'm sure the Chiefs are like, we'll give you $25 million a year. You'll be the second highest paid. Yeah, $24.5. $24.5, Chris. Yeah, $25.5, $26, you know, something like that. And Chris Jones says, no, I want $30. You know, so to me, like I say at this point, if he's not going to take $20, like try and meet him in the middle, give him the $27.5. I don't know if they've done that or not, but if he says no, I would just say, all right, well, we're going to pull the offer. You can set up a year where you can come and, you know, play the year, the final year of your deal. We'll franchise you and we'll trade you in the off season. I'm not trying to give a dude so much money when he's about to be on the wrong side at $30, you know. Like he is, he is the heart of our defense, but we can find somebody else. We got Patrick Mahomes. We don't even fucking need a defense. Well, we won the Super Bowl, what, 38 to 35? It's not like we held them to 10 points. So, you know, and how many sacks did Chris Jones have in the Super Bowl? He had fucking zero. So I love Chris Jones, but I'm not ready to mortgage the next three Super Bowls we could win so we can pay him. So what's your alternative? Let's say he does. Let's say he holds out. Let's say he does not play this year. What we're missing, Charles, and many of you apparently are going to miss the first four games due to suspension for a domestic violence thing that never apparently actually happened. What are we going to go sign? Jadevia and Clowney? What's your plan here? My plan is to let Patrick Mahomes go out there and win every fucking game. I don't care what the plan is. Shelby Harris is a defensive tackle out there that's a free agent. You know, he's not Chris Jones, obviously. But if he doesn't show up, I think, for the first game of the year that his contract holds, he won't even get credit towards free agency. So he'll still be under contract for next year. It doesn't do him any good not to play this year. He'll be in the same boat next year, but a year older, and a year without playing football. So he'll be on bail wrap at that point where he's just. Right. And how long does that work out for him? How long does that work out for him? It seems like he lost like $30 million or something by doing that. He says he regrets it now. If you read the interviews with him recently, he says he regrets doing it. I would regret leaving $30 million on the table, too. I'm pretty sure I'd be very regretful about that decision. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, I mean. I'd be going hungry. I'll let him play this year on his last year of his deal, franchise him, and then trade him for a first-round pick. I'll take a first-round pick and exchange one. What about some good news coming out of Chiefs camp? I'm talking specifically about Justin Ross here. Justin Ross looks like the word on the street is that he may be that dude he was supposed to be coming out of college for. He got hurt. So there's some stats that came across my Twitter feed earlier today or whatever. Like he holds like two of the greatest seasons like ever in college football history for some weird stat. I don't know what it was. I mean, the dude was supposed to be a first-round pick. He has spinal error injury. Like spinal error. It's like a download, 401 page not found. Buffer. Yeah. The dude could be legit. And we have such a young wide receiver core that's just going to grow with Mahomes. Like I hope he's legit. I'm super excited about it. Plus, you know, if you score 100 points, you don't need Chris Jones. This is absolutely true. I was a little bit on the fence about the whole Justin Ross thing. Like there's been all sorts of all-pro training camp guys, you know, in the past. But Dane Hughes actually was on Cody and Gold today, 610 Sports Radio. And they were talking to him. They were like, well, I mean, what, best case scenario. He's like, what, the fourth or fifth receiver? And Dane Hughes is like, I don't want to get too far ahead of myself here. But he's like, I think he could be our legitimate number two receiver. He's like, oh, shit. If he's good enough for Dane Hughes, he's good enough to leftie. Yeah. I mean, you know, last night was I watched the Hall of Fame game. You know, it's technically football. But it's a very fun football to watch. But, hey, man, five weeks until the opener. And we'll all be together. At least part of it. At least for the tailgate. I'm so excited to be back at Arrowhead. Are you excited, Foxtail, to be back at Arrowhead? Oh, yeah. That's always the best part is the tailgating. I do like the plan for this year for those of us who don't have season tickets for the opener. It's a little bit hard to get tickets in our price range. It's going to go out, hit up the tailgate, get fucking slobber knocked, and just go back to the old house and watch it on some television. I think for viewing experience, I prefer watching it on TV. I can see what's going on there, you know? Especially after getting sloshed. I like the atmosphere of Arrowhead. No, there's no doubt. It's fun to scream and yell and high-five strangers. I like that, too. Don't get me wrong. It's fun. But I'm talking like I really want to be able to tell what the fuck's going on. One thing that's consistent about every Chiefs game I've ever been to, I don't remember. Yep. Yeah, I mean, being 41 years old now, I did it last year. I'm trying not to get that fucking drunk anymore. Does it happen once a season? Yeah, generally. Is it normally the first game of the season? Yeah, generally. Because I'm so excited. Once a year, Junk gets too drunk at a Chiefs game, and once a year he takes a pop shot at Luzardo. Those are traditions. Those are normal things that have to happen. True. All right, following up on that feel-good tale, heartfelt Chiefs devotion, we're going to take a trip down to Houston, Texas, home of the Texans. That's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about murder. We're talking about a murder dinner. A gentleman named Eric Aguirre, whatever, was on a date with a nice young lady and pulled up to the restaurant and parked in the parking lot across the street. The gentleman came up to him like a parking lot attendant. He had $40 to park here. They gave him $40, and they went in to sit down to eat, as one does. But the waiter came up and told him, hey, that guy out there that just took the $40 is a scammer. He's been doing this a lot. So Eric Aguirre went back out to his car, left his date at the table, went back out to his car, got his gun, chased the dude down, and shot him dead. Shit. Yep. Scammers. Then went back into the restaurant and sat back down at the table with his date. I finished dinner. Did people, like, see him shoot the guy? People across the street at, like, a smoke shop, like employees at a smoke shop across the street saw it all go down. He had to call the cops and everything. So he, like, sat back down with his dinner date, and then she had no idea what happened. And he tells her, like, I kind of get, like, weird vibes about this place. Maybe we should go eat somewhere else. So they left before the cops got there. So it's probably the most casual, like, most casual murder story I think I've ever heard. Walk into the restaurant and sit back down and be like, oh, this wine is fantastic. Well, it's more like, whoa, this place has got bad vibes. Let's go somewhere else. Yeah. I would say that guy is probably some kind of psychopath, and that was probably not his first murder. You don't think so? No, don't you think you'd be like, you know, like, I don't know. Yeah, I'd probably have, like, quite the adrenaline high. I'd be a little bit shaky and edgy. That's true. I also wouldn't shoot somebody over $40 or probably at all. Pretty relaxed. No, no, yeah. Don't have a gun. I wouldn't, like, yeah, I wouldn't end up doing that. Try to run them over, maybe. I can see you running out there, yeah, like, hitting them with your car. There you go. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a, that's like a level response. You fuck with me about my car, I'm going to fuck with you with my car. That's more measured. But then I'd keep going. I wouldn't go back in. I would hit him and then keep driving. Yeah, yeah, just get on out. Time to go. Listen, it was only $40. It was like, that was 40 bucks. $40 is $40. How old was the murderer? Did you park the car? Did you, like, get in the car and drive it and park it? No, no, it was more like a pull in and then they come up to you. Yeah, the guy parked his own car and the guy just came over and was like, hey, you know, it's 40 bucks to park it. Okay, so it wasn't a, whatever you call it. What's weird to me is it's like, was it in some kind of like a strip mall parking lot area? Because normally when you roll into, like, a side weird parking lot, you kind of expect a dude to come rolling up on you. Because you're in an off-shoot parking area. But typically a lot of businesses have parking. You don't have to pay for it. Apparently. A long, a long, long, long time ago, long time ago, Dr. Junk and I used to work security at a place called Intensity Nightclub in Springfield, Missouri. Fucking classic establishment. Dr. Junk was an inside guy. I was an outside security guy and across the street was like a strip mall, across the street from the nightclub. And the guy that owned the strip mall did not want people from the nightclub parking in his parking lot. He was afraid about the liability of shit. So my job was literally, I would sit in that parking lot and when people pulled up, I'd say, you can't park here. Plenty of times I changed my job description slightly and said, you can't park here unless you give me points of coverage. That happened on occasion. So it's probably a good thing that I never got lit up for that one. Because $20 in 2003 money, that's like a hundred bucks now. That's legitimate money. I don't think I ever knew that. It was kind of a shady deal, so I just kept it under my hat, you know. Kind of kept it to myself. That's the only way to keep it alive, keep it from going stagnant. Yeah, I figured if everybody knew about it, then everybody would be trying to pull it, you know. Oh, $20 to park here and then you get across the street, you know. $20 at the door and then Junk would meet you inside. Like, $20 if you want to set your drink down on the counter, you know. Yeah, and we're all getting shot, I guess. Yeah, everybody's going to get shot in that place. Everybody's getting shot in that place. Oh, he did get arrested. Okay, basically, so what ended up happening is his date, I guess he told her, and she called the cops and turned him in. What? It was like the next day. He took her home and banged her first. Yeah. And then like the next day, the cops showed up at his house or caught him somewhere. Anyway, she tipped him off. So, she got dinner and the D out of the deal. And then she fucking ratted the D out. The other guy got E2 and his was death. It's hard hitting. It's hard hitting shit right there, man. All right, speaking of hard hitting shit, we had some nugs washing up on the beach in Florida. Random beach, Neptune Beach in Florida, which I don't know geographically where that's located. I feel like that's on the Gulf. But beach goers were out there hanging around. You know there's been all the seaweed that's been washing up on the shore. Well, this time it wasn't seaweed. It was actual marijuana washed up on the shore. They think it was probably around 10 bags of weed, but it does tie into our story from last week about the cocaine sharks, and now I'm wondering if this is like weed smuggling crabs or something. What's going on down there? I don't know. I think this is over on the Gulf side. Oh, shit, that's actually like north of West Palm Beach, which ain't too far away from Fort Lauderdale or Miami. It's just north. Oh, okay. All right, north of Miami. All right, so it's on the Atlantic side. So actually, maybe it actually is weed smuggling crabs, because normally that drug traffic is happening there in the Gulf area. Yeah, that's why I was asking. Come around to the open water. Yeah, this is over here. The only thing you really have between there was, see, you got Freeport, Bahamas, so something went wrong between, you know, Bahamas and there. Somebody lost their load. Somebody lost their load of weed. What would you do? What would you do? You found this is loose nugs just washing up on the beach, so it's been waterlogged and everything. What do you do in that situation? It depends on how old I am, what age I am at the time. And that's exactly, exactly what the fuck I thought, too. Exactly. 19-year-old foxtail, what do you do? I'm trying to figure out how to, like, get it up and take it and, like, you know, clean it off, get it clean, fix it up, you know, dry it out again, whatever you got to do. Microwave it? Yeah. A little bit or something? Yeah. Keep, like your parking lot game, keep it on the hush hush and just, like, scurry around and do what you can with it and be on your way. Now I would just, like, look at it and laugh or I would make jokes about younger me wanting to do that. Right. That is hilarious. That's the first exact thing I thought was younger me would have been, like, I'm smoking this. Yeah. Like, I'm smoking this as soon as I can get it dry. I'm fucking driving this. This is the fucking score of the century. Yeah, this shit's got to be fire, man. 41-year-old me would respond much like one of the guys that they interviewed for the article here, the guy that actually called the cops. He was concerned that, like, some young kid may come and pick it up and he was afraid that it was laced with fentanyl and the kid might die. Which is the whole fentanyl-laced drug thing. I think people might have a slight misconception about how that actually goes down. Did you watch the video? I don't think there's a lot of weed laced with fentanyl. Did you watch the video that went with it, though? Yes. Okay, so if you notice, I thought when I was reading the article in that quote, I thought it was somebody older, but if you see in the video, it's a younger kid. So it's like the younger generation thinks everything's got fentanyl in it, I guess. I haven't even heard it. I mean, maybe it does. I don't know. They'd know, I guess. Me at that age, once again, me at that exact kid's age, I would have been like the old Scoop and Swoop, man. I would have been gone. Yep. Getting back to the lab as fast as we can. Gonna try that out, man. That's when we have little brother being like, it smells like beans down there. It smells like beans? You guys smoking in the basement? It says it smells like beans. What about you, junk? 19-year-old you, what are you going to do? Oh, I'd be filling my pocket. He'd been in on that. I'd be yelling at somebody to get a plastic bag or a trash bag or something, like scoop this shit up, see if we can make some money. Yeah. That's 10 pounds. I mean, it's not a trivial amount. Oh, I loved that guy's quote, actually. That guy where he's like, you know, I don't know this personally or anything, but like watching TV, seeing the TV shows and everything, if you gather it all, it looks like about 5 or 10 pounds. Right? Like I have no idea about any of this stuff. Yeah, it looks like about 5 or 10 pounds, though. I'm all 9.2, 9.3. You're crazy, dude. That shit's spread all down the coastline. Like how do you know? Talk about your ass. All right, well, I think that's going to wrap it up for this week, folks. Before we head out, Dr. Junk, I know you have something very important to share with the listeners. Please enlighten us. So, you know, we're talking about weed and stuff in this story, so I was just thinking, you know, do you guys know why a roach clip is called a roach clip? I do not, actually. It's because potholder was taken. Oh, man. Oh, my God. That's all I could come up with on short notice. Well, that was just delightful. Thank you so much for that. Mr. Vernon Foxtail, any words of advice to leave for the listeners this week? If you come across anybody completely naked on the highway with a gun and they're just ripping shots off, get the hell out of there. Don't stop and tape it, man. Somebody is doing that for you. You'll be able to see it later. Get the fuck out of there. Don't catch a stray one. There. I'm out. That's good. That'll do. Yes, I think that's just sound advice, sound advice. Let somebody else take that video for you. Absolutely. All right. Yes. Good advice. All right, everybody, thank you for stopping by, and we will catch you on the next one. See you. Later. See you. That's a wrap. Join the gang next time on Not Sure, Take My Knee. We'll be right back.