Episode 0 - Working & Living - NYC

Lucy and her dad have started a podcast called "My Dad Said". Lucy explains that she came up with the name because as a child, no one believed what she said, but they would believe it if she said her dad said it. They discuss how they will talk about random topics on the podcast, starting with their experiences living and working in New York City. Lucy shares that she initially wanted to be a third-grade teacher but switched majors in college due to her interest in cooking and baking. She now works in New York and her dad finds her job unique. What's going on, everybody? Welcome to the very first podcast. This is My Dad Said. I'm Lucy, and I'm here with my dad. Dad, say hello to the people. Hello, everybody. Welcome. We're very excited. This has been a long time coming, and this is our very first podcast, so we're very excited. I guess, yeah, the reason why we started this goddamn podcast. I guess I'm the youngest of three, and as somebody, I'm 25, got a lot of questions about life, got a lot of problems about life. Who do I talk to a lot? It's my dad, so why not talk about it? But I guess there's an overarching reason of why this podcast came about, reasoning of the name of why we called it My Dad Said. Dad, I've said this to you before, but I don't know if you know the whole story of it, but I've been saying My Dad Said for as long as I can freaking remember, because it's just hilarious. But the reason why My Dad Said came about was when I was younger, I realized no one believed anything that came out of my mouth. No one believed that whatever I had to say was either true or just anything. So obviously, my dad's got a lot of opinions. He's lived a lot of life, so all the shit that my dad has said to me, I share with other people. I always preface the fact that you said it to me. I didn't make up the shit you said to me. So people never believed you, is that what it is? Well, yeah, I think it was more credible if I said, oh, my dad said it, because no one's going to believe a six-year-old being like, oh, you hear about the war? You used to say it as a six-year-old? I would say it all the time. Really? As far as I remember, I was young, starting in school, yeah. Yeah, I could see in school, right? But I always thought it was like high school and college. No, I haven't seen it for a while. Really? I think I got it more and more, because then you start talking about serious shit, where like, you know. You had no idea what I was talking about. Yeah, exactly. Even though you just shook your head. Yeah. And smiled. But I think where you, you didn't know about it for, that I was doing it, but I think the. I didn't know that you were doing it until you asked to do this podcast, so. Well, yeah. I mean, well, no, you found out because a couple of years ago, it was like, maybe in the spring or something, and you had told me that we were going to have a lot of hurricanes that year. Like, we were going to have a record number of hurricanes. Great. That's a cool fact that I can share with people. And so I'm bringing it up in conversation. I don't know if I was right or wrong. I just read it in the paper. Yeah, exactly. But you know, I don't read the news. So, you know, you're just, you are on your news, my news outlet. And so I, I told people that I was like, oh, yeah, well, we're having a record number of hurricanes. Everyone thought that was like so insightful. And they're like, wow, I can't believe we're having a lot of hurricanes. Crazy. But then back in the fall or skip forward to the fall, and we were talking about the weather, about something. And I was like, well, remember, you told me that we're having a lot of hurricanes. And you were like, I didn't tell you that. And I was like, yes, you did. And you were like, no, I didn't. I was like, yes, you did, because I told everybody that you did. So that's already out there. That's a fact that you came up with. There is probably things that I say to you that you embellish. And then you say, you know, whatever, you make it up and or, you know, glamorize it more than what I actually said. Or you get the facts wrong. That could be true. But, you know, this was like that's having a record number of hurricanes. I feel like if you got that wrong, it's not that big of a deal situation. But that's when you figured out. You were like, why are you telling people that I told you that? I was like, well, I do that all the time. I always tell people that you said that to me. And it's always, well, my dad said whatever the fact is. And so that's how you figured it out was when the hurricane thing. I don't think we had a record number of hurricanes that year. So I don't know if that's true. But I still say it to this day. I did it probably the other day at work. That's the funniest thing about this. Is that even though I recognize it, yet I still do it constantly. Which is the funniest thing. And I bet my two sisters do it, too. But they just don't want to admit it. They probably just don't realize that they're doing it. Because you say shit all the time, which is like probably just a dad thing. Yeah, exactly. Everybody's just whatever. You read something, you hear something. Yeah, it's just word of mouth. Topic of conversation, right. If I just went up to people, my friends, and being like, well, did you know we're having a record number of hurricanes? They would ask me ten questions about it. Like, how do you know that? Like, where are these hurricanes? When I say that you said it, I don't really get that many questions. Because it's like, I don't know. I'm just not a facts kind of gal. I don't know. But when I say that you said it, nobody questions me on it. Unless it's like completely bizarre and like we're going to die tomorrow or something like that. But I don't know. It's always worked. And I will continue to do it, probably. And that's okay. But that's how we got here. So, yeah, we are going to talk about just random shit. That's what we talk about, right? So, it could be any topic. That's what we're going to talk about. So, every episode we're going to talk about a topic that is either in the news. Something I have no idea about. Or, yeah, you have no idea about. It could be anything. Yeah. So, yeah, that's what we're going to do. Yeah. I'm living life and my dad lived some years before me. So, why not compare notes? So, what are we going to talk about for the first episode? We're going to talk about something that is currently, and for the past couple of years, has been kind of our, I guess, main topic of conversation. Because we both have that in common. And that's the lovely city of New York. And the living in it, the frigging, having a job there, and just, you know, being impacted by New York City in more ways than anyone could ever. Yeah, I mean, it's a, you know, it's, I've been, worked there, lived there for a hot second, but certainly worked there for over 30 years. And as anybody knows who's worked in New York City, you know, it's not an easy place. No. And, you know, there's just people that, you know, kind of, it's not for me. And other people thrive on it and they love it. They love the energy and they love everything about it. You got a lot of, there's a lot of, I think, there's like three categories of people. There's like the diehard New Yorkers that will never leave that city, which, great, good for you. Then there's the people that are like, yeah, I like it. I could leave. I could also stay. It's okay. I don't know. But then there's people that fucking hate it, like saying it's the worst city in the world. Yeah. Which, it's okay. Yeah. I understand both sides of it. That's, I'm very much in the middle. Yeah. I'm not a diehard New Yorker. So, yeah, so let's get into, so you currently work there and you live there, right? Yeah. I'm going on four years living there and four years working in New York. Yeah. Yeah. So why did you, you know, so, you know, obviously coming out of college, not probably knowing what you really want to do, right? Like a lot of people. Yeah. You know, so why don't we, why don't you just tell some folks about, you know, how you ended up arriving in New York City and what you do? Because I think what you do is a little bit unique and different. Yeah. It's basic, but it's different. Yeah. Like the, I guess, term of what I do is very basic. But, yeah, I went to undergrad college in upstate New York and then the lovely pandemic of COVID hit. And I thought, Oh, yeah. So what was your major? Yeah. So you started out with a major and switched to major, right? Yeah. So I went to college thinking I was going to be a third grade teacher. Wow. You know, truthfully, everybody always asks me why third grade, but I think if I do a survey on what people think is the best grade in school, everyone always says third grade. I love third grade. Third grade was good. That's a good year. Before you knew what the hell was going on. You're like not dumb, but you're not really smart. You're still having fun now. Yeah. You're like, It's not really homework. Yeah. Like you're learning long division, but you're still throwing dirt at each other. Yeah. There's a balance here. Well, who knows nowadays? But yeah. Yeah. And like people are like, you know, sticking crayons up their nose still. Yeah. Wow. I mean, everybody's on, you know, disturbing that people are on phones. Well, now the school is very different. They probably like third grade is so last year. But anyways. Yeah. I thought I was going to be a third grade teacher. Joke's on me. I lasted up until the first semester. Not even then. We came to parents weekend, which is, you know, October. Anybody knows that's like a month or six weeks after you start. And you're like, oh, I got some news for you. And so we're like, OK. The reason one of the reasons why you went to school is because of the education. Oh, yeah. It's really good. Yeah. And so what did you what it would end up what transpired in your mind and move to the. Yeah. Yeah. So I went to I went to Syracuse University and education program. I all the colleges I looked at, I was doing that for the education program, which is crazy to me. And I went in and I was so overwhelmed. And at the time, I got really into baking specifically, but like cooking and stuff. And at least for Syracuse, they have meetings with all the education students. And I think this is like this for a lot of schools. But I could be wrong. The education system in colleges, they're very strict on kind of like you're going for pre-med or something like that, where you have to have a certain amount of classes. You have to get all these classes done. So basically, you don't have wiggle room to take any certain types of classes that you want to. They have a strict schedule for you. And so every freshman has a meeting at for the education program. And they basically sat me down and they had every class picked out for me till I graduated. And I asked them, I had two questions. And I was like, one, I wanted to study abroad. And two, I wanted to take a cooking class because I knew that Syracuse had them. And they said no to both of them. Well, abroad, they said I could only go to an English-speaking country, which was London was the only option. I had been to London. I didn't want to go to London. That was fine. I mean, that wasn't the biggest thing in the world, but whatever. But then with the cooking class, they said no to that. They were like, unless you want to graduate in five years, you can't do these things. Abroad would have put me back, too. And so I was really, I was pissed off about the whole thing. I was like devastated that I couldn't take a cooking class, which, oh, well. But I took, I was in my freshman year stupid literature class, whatever that's called. And this one girl, we were writing some kind of paper. I don't really remember what it was about. Maybe a social issue or something. And we had to compare notes with a student in our class. And this girl that I had, she did hers on something with the agricultural system and kind of how screwed up it is in some parts and like how with a lot of environmental issues. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. And she said food studies. I was like, what the fuck is food studies? I knew about nutrition. I knew about that. I didn't want to go into nutrition. But I was like, what is food studies? And she was, she described it as, which I tell people all the time, it's the study of food that does involve cooking. It is everything in between the financials of food, environmental food, agriculture. Then you go into the health of food. You study nutrition. Then you go into the social issues surrounded by food. So I thought that was very interesting. And I ended up having a meeting with my advisor for food studies. And I switched two days later. And I was a food study. I was a food studies major. And so I graduated with food studies and communication. I wasn't really sure what to do with it because of COVID. That really screwed me up. But you graduated when COVID hit. That was your graduation. 2020. So that got screwed up. So jobs were eliminated even for finance people. The most general jobs were hard to come by. Everybody, my whole graduating class, I knew people, I had friends that still kept their jobs, job offers that they had. But a lot of people lost their jobs or couldn't get job offers because of COVID. So I was one of those where nobody needed creative people. No one needed that kind of space. I couldn't find a job in the pandemic. And so kind of decide what to do. And so my next plan was culinary school. Oh, yeah. We talked about it. I said, why not? If you're going to do it, this is the time to do it. The world is shut down. But you could still go to culinary school. There was limitations on that. It was in New York City, right? So I knew I worked in the city. We live in New Jersey, just for other people, for everybody's information. And I commute into New York City or did. So you're no strangers. Myself and your sisters. So it wasn't unusual. But for you to say, oh, yeah. But that was the only choice. The only place you're going to go to a good culinary school is New York City, right? Yeah. CIA would be the bigger one. But that's a four-year commitment. Right. You wanted one where it was, whatever, nine months. Because I knew how to cook. That was the difference, I think. Where CIA, that's your college. You already did that. Yeah. You have to stay in a dorm. Or it's like going to Johnson and Wales or something like that. Yeah, that's a college experience. Where ICE was, I went to the Institute of Culinary Education. And that's an eight-month program. It's quick and easy. If you had basic cooking skills, it's refining your skills and the certification. That's what you're looking for at the end of the day. They also get you an externship at the end of it. Well, you have to work to get it. But, yeah. So I, what was it? February. February 2021, something like that. Yeah. I decided to go to culinary school. And it was a Monday through Friday situation. So I ended up having to move to New York. I didn't have to. If I wanted to work while going to school. It was easier. It was impossible. Yeah, you couldn't commute the whole thing. It was impossible to commute and also work. So I ended up moving in to New York with two college friends. And I've been there ever since. So, yeah. And so I went to culinary school for those eight months. And then I got an externship at a restaurant. And then I've been. But you got it not at a restaurant. You got it at a. At a restaurant. Yeah. I got. I worked at Eleven Madison Park. Which was an interesting experience. Which is an interesting experience. Yeah. If anybody knows what. Why don't you explain their whole. Anybody knows what Eleven Madison Park is. Eleven Madison Park has the. One of the biggest names in New York. It is. It has been for a long time. Just an incredible. Institution. Just like for what it is. And so that for a long time. They were known for this. Dry aged lavender duck. And it was hanging in these. Cases in the kitchen. And this kitchen was always. Always so pristine. And there was documentaries about Eleven Madison. And how I got my. When they approached us. With our externship opportunities. For. Culinary school. I actually did. An internship with. A non-profit. In Brooklyn. And the CEO of that non-profit. Used to work at Eleven Madison Park. And so I ended up. Reaching out to him. And that's how I got my externship. It is. It is. It holds its name. It's a three Michelin star restaurant. It has been. I don't know how long it's been. It got its Michelin star. With the lavender duck. Time period. But now they're plant-based. They started plant-based. Right before I got there. That was interesting. But they've kept their Michelin stars. Which is great. I think they got. They got the Michelin star back. After a number of years. Eating. Because that was a big switch for them. Because they were known for this. Lavender duck. And now they're going completely. Plant-based. Like cold turkey. Plant-based situation. So yeah. And then. After my externship. That was a six week program. I currently work. I still work. In executive dining. Which for those who don't know that. A lot of companies do it. Any kind of like. Social clubs. Will have executive dining. And so that. That's where I've been for the last. Two and a half years. Which is crazy to me. It is unique for New York. Most people are in New York. I was in finance. Over 30 years. That's kind of typically. A lot of people. All your friends are in finance. A lot of people. The New York thing. At least when I was. Coming out of school. And I had no idea. I was like an econ. Finance major. Which didn't really know. What I wanted to do. Didn't really know. What I wanted to do. Yeah. And. Your grandparents. I was living in New Jersey. And they had moved away. To Rochester, New York. And I'm like I'm not going to stay in Rochester, New York. After I graduated. So I'm like I'm going back to New York. And back then. This is late 80s. Kids didn't necessarily. Friends of mine weren't going to New York City. To go get a job. So it was a big deal. And a little scary. New York was a lot scarier back then. There was places that you just didn't go. Times Square was one of them. Hell's Kitchen was one of them. You just didn't go there. I mean I just watched Homicides in New York. It's crazy. The 90s. I mean I worked. So anyway. I got a job at a bank. Funny. I didn't work at a fucking bank. Look at me now. I knew not in finances. That's for sure. You guys are all in the art. None of us went down that road. It's crazy. You're all in the art type of thing. Which is great. Because it's something that I know nothing about. I know that's the funniest thing. None of us out of the three of us. We got art history. And we got graphic design. Weird. So one of the big things that well even your situation now but when I first got a job there and I did eventually I was commuting from I live with my sister in Connecticut commuting which was awful for about three months and then I decided to move into the city with these three guys and turning out to be two but one guy dropped out but it didn't make a difference to me really it was I don't know let's just say 80% of my paycheck was going to my rent and I'm like wow this is not cool like I had no money so you know when people talk about eating pizza or peanut butter sandwiches that was me for I think I lived there for four months on top of it I lived with a guy who was making a lot of money who was basically putting it up his nose that's always so humbling yeah and then you know one night I was coming out of my bedroom to go to the bathroom and he's like doing freebasing or something like that and I'm like I gotta get the hell out of here and this guy actually he graduated before me but he went to the same college that's how I ended up and I'm like oh my god I can't do this anymore and that's how I ended up I got rich overnight I went from 80% of my paycheck to like 30% of my paycheck for rent so when you go to a bar beers are a buck and so New York as you know is extremely expensive and if you don't make money good money it's really hard you don't really enjoy the city and so I that was my time second of living in New York but I commuted into New York for 30 something years it's enough there that you're being there you experience it but yeah so how are you finding you've been living there now what four years I can give you my thoughts on New York in general there's a lot that you've seen and experienced and now it's even probably worse with the drug situation and the theft and all that other crazy stuff I think it's like a give and take you'll go at least for me I'll go 10 minutes and then 10 minutes later some homeless woman will scream at me and call me a bitch so it's like a weird give and take you know I think even when I come back here to Jersey it's like you don't realize when you're in it how fast paced everything is and but that's also a good thing because you're never bored there you can always go walking and experience a new street you're never bored you have to try hard to really be bored you can go to Brooklyn you can go to Hoboken you can go up to Queens you can go to all these different places just taking a subway at first it definitely is intimidating oh god yeah see the thing was I hated New York when I was younger I thought it was the worst place in the world we also went there for special occasions and like time to time or like take your daughter to work day which was the best day but I hated it I think because I was so young walking in the streets was just chaotic and I never thought I'd live in New York but I guess even my sister now can't even believe I live there it's kind of like you get used to it you get accustomed to it and you become one of those people you have to adjust it is what they call a concrete jungle you are in the wildest fucking place there are crazy people fucking everywhere but then there's also really cute times where you're just like wow everybody's in Central Park looking at the spring blossoms or whatever or hearing about people getting punched in the face randomly on the streets it's just so fucking weird all the time but you always have to have your guard up and you have to be aware of your surroundings you can't fuck around also we're in a day and age where you have no idea how people are going to react which is I talk a lot about this with my friends people at work you have no idea how anybody's going to react and because you experience all the craziest people in the world in New York people on the subways are fucking crazy you don't know what kind of drugs people are you take the subways right? I always took the subways well I'm a bus person you know this you like the bus I've never taken a bus because you go to New York and you look at these signs if I get on it I guess if you look on a map where the subway is really easy you just go down you know you're on the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 or 6 and it's just again you have to be aware of your surroundings you don't stand near the edge of the platform because you hear all these stories people do get pushed in you stand by poles but you know exactly where the door is going to open you know but people get a little crazy you just don't know and some people are well then also people are always sometimes confused why someone stole shit out of their bag but I'm like was your bag open? or were you just standing there looking at your phone like when I get on a subway I survey I understand who's on that subway car to check the car out I've walked out of the car I'm like a crazy person or you last for one stop and you're like I'm going to another car I can't do this yeah I saw a creepy guy I was going home I saw a creepy guy on the subway and I was like I can't do this I got anxiety but it's watching you have to be so I mean you always say somebody asked us a family friend of ours and it was the three of us having a conversation and they asked me if I had ever gotten mugged or something and I was like no I haven't and you were like yeah Lizzie walks too fucking fast that they can't keep up with her that's why you always say I always walk fast I used to walk it had nothing to do with I just move you know this because you walk to work sometimes not anymore because you're too far too far but I'll walk home yeah one is it's great exercise it is I love walking I miss it when I go certain places I'm not moving as much I used to get in at real early because I was on the trading side I'm in at 6.30 in the city and there's nobody around and you just cut there's no such thing as walk and wait for the do not walk sign I mean jaywalking is a sport it's an Olympic sport but as you know you can time everything you don't want to get stuck in a light you keep moving and yeah people they target people who are not moving and if you're moving and people say stuff to you you just keep moving people are like New Yorkers are so cold the reason is sometimes you're just like hey listen I don't want to get involved I don't got time for this shit and I don't want to get myself into something and you're just asking for a problem I told you the story where a guy in a really nice blazer and I think he had jeans on dressed really nice and he's walking and he goes excuse me I worked around Grand Central Station 44th and I was probably on 38th and one of the quieter streets and he goes hey can I borrow some money for a train ticket I work on a production set we were filming a movie and I lost my wallet and I'm like dude go to the train station why don't you tell the story there and he's like come on man and he started approaching me really fast and I'm like dude just don't get near me and I'm like I want nothing to do with this conversations over I'm moving fast and if you get near me any closer I'm going to come after you and that's what happens you don't know it's New York you just have to be aware you have to make quick decisions I'm out of here I see something bad starting to happen I can't get involved it's a good point because a lot of people do think New Yorkers are rude but you develop that rudeness because you have to be you're just like but you understand the game of the city and what you have to do to move I'm not going to be stuck in a crowd I'm going to maneuver my way through and when I'm with people that live in New York we do the same thing we'll break up to get out of a crowd because you never want to be stuck in certain things I was going to my friend's apartment in Hudson Yards and I was crossing over and I was kind of near Times Square of where I was and I was such in a rush I hated that area I just wanted to get the fuck out of here everybody's everywhere there's a bunch of suitcases I don't know why everybody has a suitcase but this poor family asked me if I could take a photo and I was like I'm so sorry I just can't and I walked away I hate it here Times Square is horrible my worst nightmare would be standing in Times Square for New Year's fucking Eve we did it it was horrible I'd never do it again I get a better view on TV it was not good it's not good during the day it's not good at any point and the worst is during Christmas time as a New Yorker you don't even get to enjoy New York certain things surrounding Christmas because there's so much tourism which I understand but like I don't know anybody that lives in New York that during Christmas time will ever go to Fifth Ave go near Rockefeller Tree you avoid that area like the Black Plague from Halloween to New Year's I don't see that area I've worked at Rockefeller Center for a number of years you go in the back way so you're like there's ways to get into Rockefeller Center there's ways to traverse from let's say from 8th Avenue all the way to Rockefeller Underground and you pop up through Rockefeller Center and you start to learn these different ways because you're like you're so far away from the crowd it's nuts Rockefeller Center is definitely nuts if you walk out the front door it's a wall of people even right now just winter it's crowded why? it's confusing but I think there's also such great things to New York the thing is it's all about the give and take you can always find a new restaurant you can always find a new bar you can always find weird little activities that you'll never find anywhere else truthfully because it's like this hub of why I ended up going to culinary school in New York this city is so well known for its food and then the array of bars, clubs concert places Central Park is beautiful I love New York I have not done everything not even close one of the things I've told you you've got to make a lot of money to really enjoy New York you can go to Broadway you can get the tickets when they discount them or sell them half price or it's like the one for two so you can get to if you figure all that kind of stuff out like you said the really nice restaurants they're expensive as hell 80 or 90% of the nice restaurants is business accounts I used to be on guys would entertain me I entertained people I'm not paying for it the business is paying for it you don't even look at the bill the restaurants know that so they can charge X because you don't really care I'm trying to survive and people are like did you go there? I don't have the money it's expensive you can find entertainment you and your friends you're on a call to budget and you make it work but you really do need to make a lot of money to really enjoy New York I forget there's a number I forget what it was you have to be making at least $300,000 a year a lot of people just because I'm a chef are always like do you go out to eat all the time? no, I steal food from work I don't have that type of money do you know how much chefs get paid? we get paid dirt no, I don't wish I could but I can't that's the unfortunate thing when you're living there or if you're happy I was lucky because I was in a career I was able to go to a lot of the things because people got tickets if you want to go to a Knicks game or Rangers game 90% of those are corporate tickets regular tickets $400 I'm not paying $400 out of my own pocket just to watch a Knicks game or Rangers game it's crazy you never get to do that unless you are involved in business I think a lot of people question whether or not it's worth living in New York and I think because of how much money you spend on rent and all these things you can get a 5 bedroom house in Texas for the same amount of money like how much that money could go towards something else I don't know for me will I do it my whole life? absolutely not I'm not going to live in the city my whole life I think you got to love it in order to spend that much money when you're in there all these people around you you have the same commonality you're giving so much money to the city of New York for rent and your groceries your neighbor and you have the same common fact the fact that you pay similar rent and spend the X amount of money on things that you probably shouldn't be spending on but I don't know I think it's a great place to live I truly believe if you can live in New York you can live anywhere oh yeah let's not in certain countries you don't want to live in general I agree with you they always say if you can make it in New York you can make it anywhere I say the US by far New York is the most can be the most challenging but also the most exhilarating city there is the thing is you were making a comment would I stay there it's the same thing we went through your mom and I went through if you're going to have kids and decide to have kids having a kid in New York is really expensive you're talking like if you have daycare I'll give you this goes back when I worked with a number of guys and one guy that was living in the city he had two daughters and he was like I got to make a decision to send them to private school and at the time this is for kindergarten this is back in the 90s I can't imagine how much it is now so we were like how much is it I'm going to have to pay $25,000 each for each kid $50,000 for fucking kindergarten so we're like we have to do the math here so if you take we took inflation rate so if you take $25,000 and you put it in a bank account or a stock market just say a bank account and it earned so much interest and you took that and when they're 18 years old at 18 years old ask them if they knew what the hell you were talking about as a 5 year old and say I'm going to send you to a private school and it's going to cost X or I'm going to take that money and put it in an account for you and then I'm going to give you that money at 18 we calculated out at 18 years old that you would give them a check at 18 years old so you're saying $25,000 plus the interest that you'd make on it and inflation because the tuition would go up a certain amount every year say 3% or whatever I can't even do 25 times 18 I don't even know a million dollars it was like $800,000 so imagine that you're spending $800,000 at 18 years old it's the math that you start to do and you're like wait people are going to say it's all about my kid and investing in their education but that's a lot of money that's a lot of money for kindergarten even all the way up through high school you went to private school just in high school but it's still a lot of money I would say it's probably $60,000 now so you sit there and go I just saw this story where the woman was like to send my kid to preschool where they watch your kid it was like $3,500 a month I'm like wait $3,500 a month I only make $80,000 $3,500 a month you have rent and you're paying what money do you have I feel like a babysitter would be cheaper that's the calculation you go through I'd love to live in the city but can I afford to even raise a family unless I'm making a lot of money again it goes back to you've got to make a lot of money think about how much stress that puts on you some people don't have a choice they unfortunately have to deal with that and they never can get ahead people never get ahead that's one of the reasons why when COVID hit and this whole work from home certainly New York City has been really affected by this is that we lived about on a normal day not in rush hour it would take 45-50 minutes to drive into New York on a normal rush hour I used to go in early door to door was about an hour and 15 minutes coming home was like 2 hours if you were lucky there was an accident 3-4 hours of your day 3-3.5 hours of your day spent commuting when COVID hit I got time I got time to think you get used to it after a while but it beats the hell out of you the commuting physically beats the hell out of you why am I doing this that's why when COVID hit people were like I don't want to go back to the office I've gotten 3.5 hours of my life back and the cost of commuting commuting can cost $700 a month and if a company doesn't give you commuting costs that's out of your pocket most companies don't they'll just say we'll pay you more we'll give you $50 a month a train a New York Transit train for a monthly pass is what it could be $600-$700 that's crazy every month otherwise the money it's real if you have to drive your car to a parking lot you have to pay for the parking or there's tolls involved I tried pretty much every way possible to commute I've taken a bus I've taken a train I've driven you've driven into Jersey City I've driven to the parking lot which is called North Bergen Park and Ride which is just before the Lincoln Tunnel then they take you in it's great going in it can be very frustrating going out because there's a breakdown in the tunnel and for a while that was one of the best deals going you drive to North Bergen $8 to park that's pretty good it's probably still cheap it's probably $45 I don't know I'd have to look it up some guy told me don't tell anybody we don't want anybody all of a sudden 4 or 5 years later it got really hard you had to get there 10 minutes earlier the parking lot was full by 7 or 8 o'clock it was a big parking lot a really big parking lot you try everything because you have to try something different this is mentally fatiguing there's only so much you can do what do I listen to music some people watch TV then you have kids I want to get home and see you guys that's the other thing I used to leave at 5.30 in the morning I get home at 7 I had to literally I got to leave I'm not going to get home by 7 I wanted to eat dinner if you don't then you're going to be home at 8 or 9 rinse repeat you got to get up and do it all again that's what's changed that's really what has changed a lot of companies now are forcing employees to come back into the office you don't have a choice that's my sister we can't do our jobs from home we've suggested it our boss is last you're learning a life skill finance is a life skill I think they should teach finance in school some people do at the bank you're not learning shit you're just basically pushing paper you're just doing excel spreadsheets and getting your asses kicked to try to deliver certain things at a certain time it can be a horrible way of life some people like you said I live in the city I hate the city I'm in finance I hate my job and then they leave a lot of people do that where would you move I see you're a Gen Z you're at the beginning of the Gen Z I'm like the first year do I even count you're a Gen Z let's just say that I'm very much not a millennial I know that that's the thing my sister is a millennial I'm not a millennial but I am that's really the sad part I see people Gen Z's they're going to move they're the ones that are moving away from New York they're the ones that go to Texas would you ever do that or do you want to stay you grew up in New Jersey I would never move to Texas one for the heat that's probably why I've been there a number of times it's too hot there when you watch those HGTV shows there's no water I gotta be near water try to be near water like a lake as much as winter sucks I like wearing a jacket I enjoy having my hands in a jacket pocket that's my answer I can never be anywhere Arizona is way too humid I would never be a California gal no I think I'll always stay on the east coast I believe that I don't know if it's New Jersey die hard dirty jerseys I don't know I think east coast I'm not leaving the east coast not going to Florida California ain't my vibe tried surfing that didn't work out I'm also not blonde you can become blonde most of them aren't blonde either I know but I'm not like tried surfing that's funny so I bought her a surfboard a long time ago I was like 13 she literally tried it for like 2 seconds I smashed into a man and it really hurt it's ok my cousin has it now and she uses it all the time they gave it to somebody else you stole our surfboard they gave it to somebody else but she surfs no she doesn't I thought she went to surf camp she did I don't think she surfs though that's the traveling sisterhood of the traveling surfboard but yeah I do have a lot of friends we even talk about it now even as just 25 year olds we talk about where we want to end up and there is kind of a dividing line of people that will stay in the city and people that won't stay in the city in my opinion I would never ever raise kids in the city I just think it's very there was one time I saw a kid on a scooter with his mom but he got a little out of control and he almost got bulldozed down by a cab and the mother reacted so fucking fast she almost ripped the arm out of the socket of this kid flung him into the sidewalk and then the scooter he was on got smashed by the cab and I was like no I already knew but I was like that's solidified I just think the way that we grew up in our neighborhood where we rode bikes we went outside and played on a playground I thought that was the best kind of childhood I don't want my child to be in a loud ass city and see people on drugs and god knows what happens to them some people want their kids to be exposed to that I have friends that are like you get those arguments but also a city kid is different than a suburban kid a New York City kid is a specific type of person because they grow up so fucking fast they're a different kind of human being I mean nothing bad about them but it's crazy how at like 14 years old they have the maturity level of say a 25 year old they know the streets better than anybody else and they're wandering I see groups of 8 and they're doing the wildest shit and I'm like ok I guess but yeah for me I'm not I don't want to live in an apartment my whole life I want a house a backyard just a yard I also don't want a dog in the city I want a dog I don't want a dog in the city I think a dog deserves a yard to take a shit not on concrete that would suck especially the big sport dogs the big labs and if you live near Central Park even there it's not like you can let them go they need to run freely and catch a frisbee not that ours do that's a different point that's a different subject I think now in my time now which I think you would agree but you were in Hoboken I think at this point now I think it's a good time to live in the city but then I think there's a good transition into moving out of the city but I'd also like to come back that's why I think I'll always stay on the east coast I don't work in the city anymore but I love going to the city I love going but I don't want to go in that often I have such PTSD from commuting to the city all the time it's just you just don't want to do it anymore you just don't want to sit in traffic you don't want to deal with it brings you back all the bad things do you want to tell everybody your fear that you've always had about New York so Lucy and I talk about our biggest fears of New York and this has been for a long time because as I said earlier I used to walk a lot so my biggest fear is that some bum or somebody sitting on the side of the thing or even by the subway because you see them laying down is to literally reach into their pants and take a piece of shit and throw it at you every time because you go by something and they smell so bad I'm just like dude don't do anything to me don't I would emergency exit I would go home and be like I'm breaking my lease I'm going home I'm going back to 33rd I can't do it that'd be tough to come back from I mean you see the craziest shit but you can never make eye contact that's the worst part never ever make eye contact I had guys who were like screaming at me they're on drugs and they're screaming and you just keep moving you just don't engage and just don't ignore it was fine but it was an interesting experience I just told it at work I was on the subway I was on the L train I was going home so I'm on the L train and it's not a busy car at all I never sit on the subway very rarely I sit anyways I'm standing and there's this guy in front of me he seems fine all of a sudden a giant knife not a pocket knife a big knife that I have at work to cut vegetables with drops out of his pocket and onto the ground and I'm like oh that knife can kill me because he rushed to the ground to pick this up this was an accidental drop to the ground I can't let him know that I saw this I'm going to stare at the ground and keep staring at the ground can't make eye contact with him don't make eye contact I don't know what this guy is doing with this giant knife but it's not good I then look around me and there's another guy he looks at me and I'm looking at him did you just see that? he moves part of his jacket looks like a normal dude moves his jacket he shows me his badge he's clearly an undercover cop I'm thinking in my head are you going to do something? you saw the big ass knife that could kill both of us you're not going to do anything? we're just going to stand here they'll do something if something starts to happen that's why in my mind I was like just stay still don't make a scene I can make it worse if I start screaming he could stab me stay calm I didn't see anything put it back in your pocket and we can walk away once I hit my stop I was gone I ran home I was checking behind me the axe murderer is following me he's probably like that bitch stole my knife it was fine I made it home he wasn't following me what about going to you and your friends when you go out I guess it still happens people get roofied I know they have the fingernail pain the polish that you can do you can test things that would be my biggest fears especially with the fentanyl anybody can do anything nowadays you just don't somebody buys you something a drink or whatever thanks but no thanks I would assume that you and your friends we knew a friend she was roofied multiple times she was calling her parents in New York I talked to her she was attractive and she I guess she was in her 20s at the time she was calling her parents she was laying in the street her friends left her is that what happened her friends left her that's scary I think I'm very lucky in the fact that knock on fucking wood that hasn't happened to a friend of mine it hasn't happened to me we have to look out for each other I think that's the biggest thing in the world we hear about, we've heard unfortunately we heard I forget the connection it wasn't anybody close to me but unfortunately there was this girl she was out with her group of friends apparently she had a history of being like oh this bitch is crazy she goes home with guys so they let her do it and she ended up getting drugs she ended up getting raped it was a whole thing but the friends didn't care the friends didn't find her the next day she didn't know where she was she didn't have a phone it was a whole scary situation as far as I know she's fine but I think we hear about these things and I talk about it and I'm like you need you don't have good friends because say I got drugged I'm with friends if I acted weirdly or whatever anything happened to me I know that there would be somebody that's going to take me home I don't think any of my friends would leave me and I wouldn't do the same to them so I think it's who you surround yourself with and then it's like there's been times with people that I don't necessarily know very well and that comes with I haven't been drugged but knowing your alcohol limit and not getting that deep but I guess that's who you surround yourself with truthfully it's a scary thing but you never know when it's going to happen again you just hear these things but there's been bartenders have drugged people and you gotta again that's New York you never know know your surroundings go with a group that you can trust that's going to look out for you there's times when you're by yourself but then you're even more aware of what your surroundings are yeah you get used to it but not like you're relaxed all the time so there's times that you're not that relaxed we had there's been probably a couple times but I remember this one specific one this girl was so out of her mind drugged blackout drunk clearly she could barely stand and we were like where are your friends and she's like they left me she was just at a bar or whatever we got her an Uber she paid for it we had it on our phone so we could track the Uber and we saw that she was home or whatever so that's what we did but I remember we did have a friend she was kind of destructive when she went out but she got really drunk and she wanted to go home and we were like alright we'll take you home she lived like three blocks away we're like we'll take you home and she's like no no no I want to go home by myself we're gonna walk you home and then we'll come back and it'll be fine she was so insistent so we let her go by herself but we were 20 steps behind her the entire time she had no idea we're walking with her she's like drunk like whatever we're literally 20 feet behind her the entire way we saw her get into our building we're like alright she's good now but like it really depends on who you're around we hear all these situations where people are like oh my friends left me I'm like you need fucking new friends cause like what are you doing? and it can yeah cause New York is a crazy place but also that drugging thing can happen unfortunately anywhere which is wild to me but even I had I'd carry a pepper spray I don't know if I should say that I think it's illegal in New York really? especially if I was a girl there's no doubt about it I have also that remember that one that I got it's so stupid it's like you pull it and it just makes a sound apparently that works it makes a really loud screeching noise sure but like they could still hurt me well what it does is it stops them and allows you just to start taking off because all of a sudden you hear this noise you're like what the hell is that so it's not like you just stand there and you're like did you hear that? put your kooks up no I'm not fucking fighting you I'm running for my fucking life my I was never a track star but I'm going to become one it's amazing how fast you can move is the adrenaline pumping? but I have pepper spray most of my friends do and so I'll carry it in my purse when I go out or whatever so I went to a bar and a lot of bars don't like when you have pepper spray but I have one bar because they don't want people necessarily using it on a bouncer because they've probably had experiences where there's a reason why they don't allow I'm going to pepper spray you you can't do this to me and that type of thing you're using it for what it's intent purpose I don't even remember what the bar was and we go and the guy checks my bag and he was like give me the pepper spray and I was like no and he was like give it to me and I was like no it is for my own protection and he was like I don't want you spraying it inside I'm like I'm not going to fucking spray it inside that's if I'm on the streets of New York and someone fucking attacks me then I'm going to use it and he was like well I can't have you bring it into the bar and I was like what do you want me to do and he was like I'll hold on to it and then you come see me when you're leaving I was like alright fine I'm getting it back though I was like that is my pepper spray and he was like alright come see Jimmy or whatever big guy big large man I leave the bar and I go up to other guys because I didn't see him and I was like I'm looking for Jimmy and they were like shocked that I knew this man and they were like why do you need Jimmy and I was like the bitch has my fucking pepper spray and he was like oh okay so then they grabbed Jimmy or whatever and they were like oh hey he goes what color was it I was like what he got multiple I was like it's black give it to me and he was like well you have a safe night I was like oh now you're saying have a safe night when you're trying to take my pepper spray away from me I did test it one time on the ground I didn't test it on anybody it shoots pretty far that's the intent right but you never know you gotta be alert but I don't know New York is a crazy place working in it, living in it it's like we said it's a concrete jungle you gotta survive it's all about survival in that city so we'll see how long I make it see how long I survive there unless the rent itself pushes me out the financial aspect will push anybody over it's not easy everything just seems to continue more expensive it's just nuts for anyone who wants to live in New York it is a good place no matter all the shit we're saying about it it's good qualities bad qualities everywhere does thank you so much guys for listening to our very first podcast this is very exciting and I guess we'll see you next time see you next time you