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Episode 1 - Dating 2024

Episode 1 - Dating 2024

Matt and Lucy DunnMatt and Lucy Dunn

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00:00-46:58

Welcome to “My Dad Said”, where a dad and his daughter tackle life’s absurdities with humor and heart. From working and living in New York City to dating dilemmas, no topic is off-limits as they share their unique perspectives and witty banter. This podcast is made to make you laugh, it’s made to make you ask questions, get some questions answered or just enjoy a good conversation. This is My Dad Said!

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Lucy and her dad discuss the challenges of dating in 2024. They talk about the prevalence of dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. Lucy prefers Hinge because it allows for more interaction and has voice memos, but Bumble gives the power to women to make the first move. They discuss the problems of catfishing and ghosting on dating apps. They also talk about the Peter Pan effect, where some guys in the city don't want to grow up and settle down. Lucy finds it difficult to meet people at bars and her job as a chef. What's going on everyone? I'm Lucy, and as usual, I'm here with my dad, and this is My Dad Sad. What's going on dad? How are we doing? Doing okay today. It's a Monday. Oh boy. Yeah. All right. Well, let's get right into it. Today we are going to talk about dating. Oh boy. This is more Lucy than it is going to be me. It's been a while since I've dated. I'm not going to tell you how long, but it's been a while. Exciting topic. Why don't we just start with... Lucy, I'll just turn it over to you. What is dating in the year 2024? Let me just ask you that. It's hell. It's hell. Yeah. Well, you also live in the city, right? Yeah. Dating in the city, that's a different beast. I think a lot of people agree with me, at least people I know, I think they can agree with me on that. Dating sucks. It's not fun, but we live in a world of dating apps now, whether on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge. I can't think of... I don't know. Is Christian Mingles? Probably. There's definitely got to be a... We should be Latin, but it's... That's true. But there is definitely probably a Christian. The huge demographic of that. Is there a Jewish? Oh, I think there's a Jewish one. Yeah. That's cool. I mean... Yeah. Okay. My friend is Jewish and she did that one. Right. It's kind of like... I mean, I don't know anything about Tinder. Tinder seems to be the one that's just a hookup app. Yeah. It's kind of dating. Yeah. Well, there's so many now because of everybody's... Whether you're dating a guy, a girl, you're both... Oh, right. You've got that too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever you're kind of doing. They have dating apps for freaking everything now. You probably do. Yeah. And I'm sure there's older people too. There's dating apps for older people too, right? That's true. I don't think they're going on Bumble, but I could be wrong. I don't even know. What is... I've heard Bumble, but what is... So they're probably the main ones, at least in my world. Raya is also a popular one, but that's... A lot of celebrities are on Raya, which is interesting. You have to apply to be on Raya or something. But Hinge and Bumble are a little bit different. Bumble is like... All of it is based off of the girl has to make the first move, which is terrible. So you swipe right or left on people. And so you have to... The girl has to start the conversation. And you only... The guy has 24 hours to answer, which is so stupid because not everybody checks that out every single day. So it's like... I think I've said were going to the proms and you were asking the guy to the proms. This is the dumbest shit I've ever... When I grew up, there's no such thing. That doesn't exist. And I guess now it's just because guys are just too lazy and fucking stupid or something. They just don't want to do it or something. They just wait with somebody else to ask me out or something like that. I don't get it. Am I missing something? I mean, it's just... Well, so Hinge is like... Neither of them could start the conversation. Bumble, I think they're giving kind of the women the power because they kind of want to get rid of that stereotype of like, I guess the guy has to ask out the girl. I get that. They're trying to get away from that. Either way, right? So not just... I get that. But I prefer... My personal opinion is I prefer Hinge, but that's just my... But I think the wild thing about Hinge is... So you have like six voters or whatever, and then you have all these prompts. One of the wildest things on Hinge, which I absolutely... I don't know if Bumble has them, but if anyone ever knows them, it's the voice memos. So you can answer these prompts and record yourself. No, just no. I hate listening to them. I think you make them funny or you don't do them at all. Like some people will answer... Yeah, I could see them be funny, but not serious. You know, I've heard one where it's like they're answering a question and it's like the Lion King theme song. And it's actually kind of funny. Like the... Like that I'll take. But then some people just answer and it's like a man being like, so I really like playing golf and like going fishing. And you're like, nah, I'm good. Okay, Eeyore. What's that swipe left? When you don't want somebody? Swipe left. Yeah. So dating apps are horrible because... Well, it's also like you could get catfished, which I don't... Do you know what that is? Yeah, I know what that is. Ghosted. So the amount of... Yeah, ghosting is like you just don't talk to them. Exactly. Seems to be a great thing. Yeah, but catfishing. So these six pictures could be... You don't even know who this person is. You're like, why do you look different in every one of these pictures? And it's funny because you'll show up on that date and you'll be like, I'm hoping for picture number three. And then you show up and you're like, Jesus. And then a lot of them post them and all their friends. And you're like, I don't even know which one's you. And then some of them, I'm like, I'd rather have your friend than you. Like, can I get your friend's number or not? I'm just networking with you to get your friend's number. I did that one time. I did it for my friend. I was like... Really? That's awesome. She knows who it is. She'll know when she hears it. I did it for her. I was like, you seem swell. Not for me, but... And I was like, would you be interested in my friend? It did nothing ever happen to me, but she was like, what are you doing? She probably hated me for it, but I thought it was hilarious. But yeah, you go on these dates with people and then you show up on some dates. This happened to me probably twice now. And they're like, I'm like, oh yeah, where do you live in the city? Oh no, I don't. I'm from Georgia. I'm just visiting. Why the fuck are you here? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Fuck out of here. I don't care. Yeah, that's going to work. Somebody who's just in for a short period of time, in and out, and I'm going to date you? Like, why do you want to go on a date when you're visiting? I don't know. I don't get that whole thing, but maybe that's just my part. I would never go to Georgia and be like, let me go on a hinge date. That would be fun. That's negatively happening. Maybe I'm just crazy. I don't know. But then it's like, I don't know if you've heard of the, like, I don't know what they call it, but it's like the Peter Pan effect or Peter Pan whatever. I don't know if you've heard about it. Well, what's that? It's like the idea that, specifically the guys, but I guess you can say it with women but the guys don't want to grow up, especially in the city. Like, they don't want to grow up. Like, they don't want to. That's what they call the Peter Pan. I've heard the not growing up thing. I've never heard it referred to as that. Yeah. And so it's like, I don't know if they call it like the Peter Pan syndrome or something. That sounds bad. That sounds like a disease. That sounds like a medical issue. It's not a medical issue. But it's like, yeah, these guys are like, you know, my age, whatever, and they just, they don't want to grow up. They want to, you know, fuck around in the city, you know, date as many girls as possible, guys, girls, whatever you want. And, but it's like, then they get to like 30, whatever. And then they're like, oh, shit, you know, all my, I'm looking around and all my friends are married and stuff like that. And they're like, maybe I should grow up now. You didn't think about that like five years ago? Yeah, it's hard to say. Yeah, the city's totally different ballgame, right? Well, it's like, you know, you guys always talk about kind of, you know, my mom will always, you know, my mom's trying to be nice, but my mom's always like, why don't you just talk to people at bars? That's not how that works. That's not how it works. I can't be a fucking creeper just going out to people and be like, hey, what's your name? Like, she's trying to be nice. But then I asked her, I'm like, do you actually do that? Did you do that to people? And she was like, yeah, I do that all the time. I was like, to people you know? It was like strange. And then also a lot of places like you go and you're looking at these group of people, guys and girls, but then you're trying to figure out, say you like one of the guys, and you're like, I don't know if one of those girls is his. I don't know what dynamic is happening in this group. So you don't want to go up to a big group, especially with girls, because then they'll be like, yo, trying to get on my fucking man. I'm like, no, I'm just, I'm scared of you. So it's, yeah, like no one's going up to anybody and talking at a bar. Everyone goes to their group of people, whoever they're with, and that's who you stick with the entire time. If you happen to co-mingle with a group, it's, I don't know, it's rare, at least in my case. Maybe me and my friends are antisocial, I don't know. So you, so you're, so, and also you're, you're a chef, right? So, which is not, you know, the most easier way, easy way to, you know, you don't meet people necessarily. You meet people you work with in the kitchen, but it's not, you know, it's not like in an office setting where you go out for drinks. You do go out for drinks. Yeah, at 3.30. People think we're alcoholics, because we're, we're wasted by like 7. Yeah. We're like, oh shit, we should probably eat dinner. Right. But as far as meeting, meeting people through that, you know, because a lot of dating happens through work. A lot of people meet at work, yeah. Yeah, and so you don't really have that. No, because, yeah. It's a little bit, a little bit even harder. My work is very different human beings, and we're all in different phases of lives, and I'm one of the youngest people that I work with in my workplace, I guess. So, I got a lot of people that are married with kids, people going to get married, people, whatever. So, it's, it's, yeah, I'm not, I'm not meeting anybody at work. But yeah, I do know a lot of my friends have like young co-workers like them that they go out with, that they're friends with. I'm like, you know, kind of wish I had that, but I don't, but it's fine. But yeah, I know so many people that met at work, my sister being one of them, which is hilarious to me. Right. Yeah, both my oldest sister just got married, and my middle sister is going to get married. And I think one of the hardest thing is, is about being single, but being the youngest is, I guess you would get it whenever, whatever age you're at. But, like, I don't get it from you guys, but like extended family, they don't really see me that often. But when they do, they're always like, oh, you're still single? Like, why are you still single? Like, even my shithead, sorry, I'm sorry to my cousins. But they're teenagers, and they're like, you're still single? Like, depressing. Like, one of them told me, like, how's it feel to be the only one alone? I'm like, I don't say. Yeah, that's harsh. But it's like, they don't know. Well, one, teenagers. Not like they're dating. Well, yeah, they're like, well, by your age, you know, I'm going to be married. I was like, I can't imagine what dating is going to be like when you're my age. Like, you're 10 plus years younger than me. Like, good fucking luck. You think it's crazy now. But like, even, you know, it's crazy. Like, yeah, like pressure from grandparents. Like, they're all looking at me because, you know, I'm there. Both of my sisters are married and stuff. And they're just like, I don't think they understand it. Well, one of them, they didn't really live in the city. So it's a different, you're not just me and, you know. Well, both of them didn't live in the city. Yeah, both of my sisters didn't live in the city. One of them, the older one. Well, yeah, but your older sister lives in Pittsburgh. So it's a city, but not New York. Yeah, well, they met in college. They met in college, right? Yeah. Totally different thing. Yeah. They're gross. No, I'm kidding. They're great. But, yeah, my middle sister and her fiance, they did meet at work, which was hilarious. Their work still doesn't know, which I think is funny. Well, they don't work together anymore. No, they don't work together anymore. But work still doesn't know. They still don't know. Was it two years later, three years later? And he's still there. But the funniest part of that whole thing is, like, he proposed to my sister, and I was like, did you say anything at work? And he's like, they asked about my weekend. I just said it was good. One of their ex-co-workers is coming to the wedding. It's so bizarre how the process of that all happened, but I think it's funny. So what's your so, you know, a lot of people, like, I hear now, like, that, you know, because everything's on an app or whatever, you don't actually, you mentioned about pictures, right? Yeah. To me, there's nothing more important than physically. It's even the same thing with Zoom calls and all that kind of stuff. There's nothing more important. My estimation is that being physically in front of somebody, because, you know, you get to understand somebody, right? Oh, yeah. But you have to do the song and dance just to get to that point, right? Oh, yeah. That's a huge song and dance. To me, that's just, why am I wasting my time? Because especially now, now you've got this AI crap going on where you don't even know shit's real. And somebody could change their picture and they can make themselves look skinnier, fatter, whatever. Oh, yeah. Bigger boobs, whatever. But, you know, I want to see the person, right? I want to, you know, physically be around them. It's just like working. Same thing. Yeah. And so it's like, you know, I do consulting and it's like, you know, you see people on these calls all the time. And then you meet them in person. You're like, wow, you're taller or you're shorter. You're this or that. Look different. Yeah, yeah. Than I know you. And that's got to be, to me, dating has got to be so hard from that aspect because I don't even know what this person is all about, right? Oh, yeah. They could be faking this whole shit. Like you said earlier, right? So to me, that seems like the biggest, you know, especially if it happens over and over again. Yeah. The hit ratio is, you know, 10 percent or 20. Then you give up. Right. Then you're just like, fuck this. I ain't doing this shit anymore. Well, because when you go on a shit date, you're just like, why am I doing this? Exactly. Right. Yeah. Right. Because the person's not really who they really are. Yeah. Right. And so they can they can say nobody. Nobody verifies. Yeah. They say whatever they want to say on there. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like amazing when you show up and you're like, you're only seeing pictures. And so even playing the height game is crazy because, like, I'm 5'7". And so a guy will say 5'10". Oof. Yeah. But you have like some heels on. That's the thing. You always start off with a flat shoe because you're like, I don't want to be, you know, going too tall off this man. But then it's like, you know, I you can't play. I can't play the game with a 5'9". I'm sorry. Like, that's just. No, that's just. It's too short for me because I'm like, even if I have any kind of height on my shoe, I'm done. I'm I'm going beyond you. But it's like even. Short dudes must have a hard time. Oh, yeah. The short kings. What the hell is a short king? You've never heard of a short king? That's funny. OK, so short kings are. Yeah, they're like probably like 5'6 and below. That's like probably a short king. And the thing about a short king is, is that you have to have so much confidence in yourself and you have to because you're short. Like, you know. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of short girls out there. You have to have a good game, man. You have to have a good. Oh, and I know some short kings that are like, wow, they they get some girls. And I'm like, I don't know how you do it. Some short dudes do it. Yeah. But they got to rap like there's no tomorrow. Oh, yeah. Because the thing is, you have to have so much confidence. You have to compensate for it. Yeah. Because when you're in a group of, you know, six foot tall guys like, yeah, you got to stand out somehow. And you the thing about that was. Yeah. Yeah. The one guy that I knew that was short, he would disappear from the group. That was that was the key to his game that I think it was. He would get away from all the tall guys and he would be by himself. And he was like, that's the way to do it. He was a little stalker in the crowd, you know, searching for his prey, but by himself. So it was never anybody to compare him. I know. And so he would. You can't have a wingman that's six, six foot. No, because you're losing. Yeah. Because you're going to lose every time. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So what's hilarious is my friend. She's she's going to kill me. That's funny. She's five, five, something like that or whatever. Oh, no, no. She's five foot. Sorry. That's she's even shorter. And she was like, well, she has a boyfriend now. But when she was dating, she was like, I want to die six foot. I had word vomit and I just go, that's not fair. You don't deserve that. And she was like, what do you mean? I don't deserve it. I was like, you can you need. No, you can have someone my height. I need a six foot tall human being. You don't need six foot tall. You don't need 12 inches difference of you. I'm like, I need at least four or whatever, whatever it would be. And so she thought it was funny and she thought I was being mean. She was like, why can't I have someone tall? I was like, because I am tall and my friends are even taller than me. That those are the people that deserve that foot and up human beings in the world. But there are a lot of I realize there's a lot of shorter dudes out there than you really think there are, which is terrifying. It's fine, but it seems like everybody's tall now. I wish I was five. Five must be all the hormones. I hate that. Probably that they pump in food. I don't know. Probably not drinking a lot of milk. When I used to coach you guys in soccer or whatever. All the girls. I'm looking up to some of them and I'm 5'10". I'm like, I'm looking up. Yeah. Well, everyone thinks I'm tall. Yeah. I mean, well, five, seven. I am pretty tall. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I'm taller than my sister. So yeah, I wish I was five, five. I feel like that's such a better number. Five, seven is just too a little too tall. I mean, my one friend, she's five, nine. Yikes. No, that's tough. Right. You got to look for a 6'2". Yeah. Because it's like, then you're like, you just think about all the shoes that you cannot wear. Like, I'm like, oh, my favorite pair of heels. Can't do those. I'd be a tower compared to them. And I just, you know, there's some people in the world that like can accept that being taller. You know, you talk about like certain celebrities that are taller than like their significant other. The girl is taller or whatever. And they're like, well, look at them. And I'm like, can't be me. So, you know, you live in the city of New York and you work for a bank. But do you tend to and there's a lot of banks and Wall Street and all that in New York. Do you tend to meet a lot of finance guys? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's like the majority of the. Oh, yeah. They're always it's always like consulting. It's always like, oh, yeah, I work in finance or whatever. Because I work for a bank, they always ask me kind of rent. Well, I do tell them what I do. And I'm not a banker. Yeah. And then they kind of look at you odd and like, what the hell is your chef at a bank? Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah. It doesn't add up. Well, the funny thing is they always find me. That's like my that's my golden ticket right there, because everyone thinks that's the most creative job in the world. I don't know why. It is cool. I know it is cool. And it's very niche compared to other people. But every time I'm on a date, whenever I say that I'm a chef at the bank, they're always just like, wow, they have those? Like, they're just blown away. And I don't I've walked away from dates. I even explained one of them to you where they my friends are your mainly my friends. They're like, what does he do? And I'm like, I don't know. It's something in finance. And they're like, you didn't ask him. I was like, no, I was talking because usually what happens is even with a lot of people, they have a lot of questions for me because it's like, what do you what does that mean? I mean, well, the dude starts talking only finance. You don't want to be out with them anyway, because it's boring. It's a boring topic. Right. Some people it's interesting, but it's not interesting. So that's probably why they want to talk to you, because they're surrounded by people that constantly are talking about numbers and blah, blah, blah. And you're just like, wow, I've never really met somebody that does something like this. Right. Yeah. I'm like the. Yeah. She doesn't really like talking about her job because she's just like, it's boring. It's finance or whatever. And I remember she went on a date with a guy, also worked in finance, similar, whatever they did. And he tried to mansplain what the big short was like the movie. She's like, bro, I know what the fucking big short is. Explain it to me. She's just like, I know it. I also know what you do for it. Like, I understand your job. But even if someone in finance world tried to mansplain the big short to me, or like Wolf of Wall Street, I'd be like, get the fuck out of here. I'm not dumb as shit. Right. I know what people do. Yeah. You have surface knowledge. That's all you need. Yeah. I don't need to know more. If we start actually dating, I'll ask you more questions. But like on a first date, I don't really know. I don't need to know what you do. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not here to learn what you do and all that kind of shit. Yeah. This is a date. Right. So. Yeah. I think the coolest. The only person I went on that was a cool job. That sounds bad. But he was a pilot. That was kind of interesting. That's different. Yeah. That was different. That's something you would meet in New York. Yeah. Typically. Yeah. But he was one of those that he was like, I'm from Georgia. And I was like, oh, fucker. Yeah. And I was like, well, yeah, I made a mistake. You know, dating. Yeah. You got to play it right. I didn't play it right that day at all. But it's OK, because I didn't live there. But I did show up three margaritas deep for that day. I went to Hollywood. I went to New York. I went to New York. I didn't plan it. I remember it was like someone's birthday at work. And we were like, oh, we're going out. And then all of a sudden I realized the time. And I was like, I got to go on this fucking date. And then I'm like, you had no filter on. No, absolutely not. I don't have a filter when I'm sober. And picture me with three. The worst part of that date was it was on me, though. That was probably the worst day I was on that date. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. It was on me. 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