Shottas - 3

The hosts of the Undeployment Line podcast discuss the movie "Shatas" and agree that it is a terrible film. They criticize the lack of plot, unprofessionalism in the movie, and unnecessary nudity. They compare it to other movies they have reviewed and consider it one of the worst they have seen. They discuss the nostalgia factor of watching movies from their childhood and how it can influence their perception of the film's quality. And we're back right here with the Undeployment Line, Doc and Larry P talking about Shut Up! A Terrible Classic. It is now our time, anytime we do a terrible classic episode, to make the determination of if the film is terrible, a classic, or a terrible classic. I'll let you go first, Larry. So just a couple of things. I'll review my notes to make sure, you know, there's nothing that I'm missing. And surprisingly, surprisingly, this may have been one of the few times I've done this. This movie, I've been holding on so much about this movie. I've hit every point that I've wanted to hit about this movie. Except, the unprofessionalism, the unprofessionalism of the jewelry store that they went to. Oh, okay. Tell me more about this. I had some notes on this as well. Like, you go into the jewelry store, and you're like, hey, we want to buy this jewelry, and we got cash, and you know, it doesn't matter how much it costs. And like, all of a sudden, Wayne is like, he goes back there, and just starts having sex with the jewelry store clerk. Like, it's not an establishment that's being run here. Like, what if somebody else comes in, and they went loud? Like, they're loud, and like, and if you fast forward to the end of the movie, like, Wayne is still dating that girl. He's like, oh, you still with the jewelry store girl? And like, Wayne's showing off the new jewelry that he got. So I'm like, what type of unprofessional jewelry store did they, did she work in? Was that her first time meeting Wayne? Yeah. Man, you know, one thing I've noticed, and I know this is me with my 2024 mind, talking about things that are over two decades ago. But the lack of care, and the irregard for your personal health, really concerns me when I'll go back and watch these films. Like, she just met this man. He comes in here with a stack of cash. And it's not, no, he didn't come in here with a stack of cash. Sorry. Biggs did. Biggs, he's the guy with the stack of cash. And she had sex with the other guy. And, you know what I mean? You don't give it, you don't give it up that quick? You don't know this dude. It was so, once again, this show, this movie had no plot. And everything was forced. It was like, you never saw her again. But it was like, oh, well, we're going to put her in the scene because we're going to reference her. You know, sometimes I like to feel like movies, when like some people, movies like these, movies like these. The writers write the movie. And they start with the climax. But they don't know how they're going to get there. I feel like this is what was on the paper. This was the idea. Because, you know, a lot of things don't start with like a fleshed out plan. It starts with an idea. And I think this is what the idea. There are a group of guys who realize how they can live a lavish life in America by committing crimes in America. And it's all good until they run up against another group that's doing the same thing. And they cannot work together. What would be the result of that? I feel like that was the basic premise of the movie. It's like two different groups trying to both commit crimes, but not being able to work together. So they end up working against each other. And in the process, you know, people lose their life. I think you're giving it way too much credit. That was a very, that was actually a very sound, sound storyline. Because my question just becomes like. So I'll give an example. A movie which I think is just far too, I feel I have some critiques of this film. But I think it's far too good to be considered a terrible classic. Set it off. Right? So the movie set it off. We can, we can review that. Because I got something to say about that. Well, stay tuned. Because I have a lot of, like I said, I have a lot of critiques of that film. But the motivation of the criminals is we're trying to get some money because we're in some bad situations. I don't know the motivation of these criminals in this movie, other than just the joy of committing crime. So, like I said, you gave that too much. I get you gave it too much credit when you were saying this is how the plot or the planning of the movie went. This is how I feel the storyline planning went. He says, hey, hey, Doc, you still cool with Bob Marley, son? Yeah. Hey, man, if we could put him in a movie, we could probably make a lot of money. And then Doc says, well, what would the movie be about? Well, it is Jamaica. It has to be about crime. But maybe, maybe, maybe they can go to America. But you know what? Call Bob Marley and just say we want to put you in the movie and you'll be a top gangster. Ring, ring. This is Bob Marley, son. Yeah. You want me to do your movie? Can the Y-Club join? OK, bet. Click. And that's how they made the movie. And that was it. And they just try to figure it out the rest of the way. They try to figure out the rest. And they would like, you know what? We just go. We just as they were filming it, as they were filming it, they were like, we just go figure it out as we go. I just I'm just concerned about the random editor at the end or the producer or director or whoever it was that at three distinct times in this film just said to themselves. You know what the scene needs? A nipple. For no reason in particular, after the dude gets it in with the girl in the jewelry store, the next scene they cut to is them just in the club. Now, I initially thought, oh, they are obviously in a gentleman's club, right? No, regular club. But for no reason in particular. Let me just take the top off. They're not in the strip club. They're just in a club. They're just in a club. Later, after Bob Marley's son does that backflip over the couch, his old lady gets shot in the back. And when they cut to the gunshot wound, she got a nipple out, nipple out for no reason. And then when he goes to Teddy Buckshot house, who has no security for whatever reason, the first thing he does is shoot a girl who gets shot and she's topless. That's what they were trying to date. When you talk about forcing things in, they forced the nudity into this movie. It wasn't necessary. They said it was, and this is, here's another part. Are you ready? They was like, oh man, this is a rated R film, ain't it? And they're like, shoot, we can do nudity. And he's like, dang it. Well, how do we fit nudity in here? And he's like, all right, cool. They just put some nipples everywhere. Just random. Let's sprinkle it. Teddy Buckshot was at his own party in his jacuzzi with his goons in basketball shorts. Splash your water on everybody. I was like, if I was Teddy Goon, I was like, you got one more time, splash that water on me. Shout out to 2002, because I don't do it no more. But in 2002, I definitely would be at a hot tub with basketball shorts on. I was in the pool. In 2010, I was in swimming class in college in basketball shorts. Strong basketball shorts. Those are not swim trunks. The YMCA with basketball shorts on. No reason. Obviously, this movie is terrible. That's my vote. I don't put a lot of movies in the terrible category. I usually try to give a terrible classic take. But if you have not seen this movie and you just listen to our show, don't watch it. Don't waste your time. This ain't it. So I'm going to also rank this terrible, but I need people to understand the. What's the word I'm looking for? I need you to understand the severity of how terrible this movie is. We once did a terrible classic on Belly. I think we said terrible classic on that one. I think I said that was terrible, too. Belly starts off a promise, but Belly also just loses itself throughout the movie. Shottas. Makes Belly look like a classic. I wonder if Shottas is the worst movie we've reviewed up to this point. Oh, no, hands down. I think it's hands down. There's no question about that. This is one of those movies where it's like, I have no reason to go back and watch this. Like this could be on in somebody's house and I walk in and I'd be like, I don't know. I'm going to go upstairs and play checkers. Yeah, there's a movie with it. If it's on that walk in your house, I'm like, all right, man. Hey, y'all need something from the store right quick. And I'm going for another. I know how long this movie is. I'm going for an hour and a half. I'm probably going to Lowe's and then I'm going to Hobby Lobby. They like, dang, Larry, you've been going for a minute. I'm going to go to the butchers. I'm going for the entirety of it. I know how long this movie is. An hour and a half. If you watch it on Tubi, it's two hours because of the commercials. I am not coming back. I ain't watching no Shazam, man. This movie is so doggone bad, man. This movie is so terrible. Honestly, what is it about things that you watch in your formative years? Like, is it just watching it through the lens of this is what was cracking when I was a kid. And so I just keep this level of reverence for it. That's it. And that's I guess that's what I've also been trying to wrap my mind around. Like movies like belly moves like the Players Club movies, like some of the terrible classes that we review that, you know, we may have says terrible may have been a terrible classic at the time. I could go back to my childhood and think about like, this is what made this movie great. I have no idea. Even if I watch Shazam as a kid, what would have made this movie great for me? So the movie that sticks out for me, like I know we're getting we're done with Shazam, but what is the worst like black movie that you feel that you've enjoyed? Like the worst, like the movie you watch and you'd be like, hey man, I'm gonna be bad. But like for me, it's the movie choices. Oh, you've seen choices before. No. Choices is a film that is produced by three six Mafia, which is another like just random, like just random crimes. Mm hmm. Terrible bad acting. No plot. Nothing. But I know like I only enjoyed this because the DVD was in my house. Hmm. And I feel like Shazam might fall into that category. Like I was watching it because it was there. Hmm. I watched Poodie Tang. I love Poodie Tang. I've never seen that movie. Poodie Tang is such a good movie. Oh, it's a bad movie, but it's such a good movie. Such a good movie, man. You know, everybody try to tell me like, you know, I give all types of movie critics and everything like this. We do terrible classics, but everybody always judges me and I lose all credibility when I say Poodie Tang is a good movie. But you know, it is what it is. But that's what I'll be seeing the film. I'm going to reserve judgment just like I reserve judgment on this. Like I had seen the movie before, but I had not sat down and watched it. After I've sat down and watched this movie. I have a lot of questions for y'all. If you watch this movie anytime after 2010 and said it was good. I have questions for you. Lots of questions. I got questions if you watched it before 2010. You know what? I compare it was harder to watch movies in like 2000. This is going to be this is going to be a crazy comparison. But this is how I feel about Shazam. This is how I feel about Shazam. For one, there was no plot. Two, with even without a plot everything just seemed rushed. The only other movie that I've watched that has been as rushed as Shazam. But has got nothing but great reviews. The Godfather. The Godfather is one terrible movie. Yeah, Godfather 2 is better than Godfather 1. But Godfather 1 is critically acclaimed to be like, oh, it's so great. Godfather 1 is so rushed. It's a rushed movie. Nothing makes sense in Godfather 1. But it has a plot. The Godfather 2 is a clear response to that. Like we're going to take our time. We're going to tell the full story. Right. Then for whatever reason, they made a third one, which is terrible. It is terrible. The third one is terrible. But then you got movies like Scarface. Which is way too long. Yeah. Way too long. We don't need all of that. So there's definitely a sweet spot even in crime type movies of it don't need to be that long. And if we're going to critique, like, even if I'm critiquing like black movies, like Bad Boys 2, way too long. Way too long. Yeah, I mean, and that's the director's fault. The director falls in love with too many things. You remember when movies have deleted scenes on the DVDs? Yeah. What happened to that? That made everything so easy because you just put on the deleted scenes. If you like, it'll make it there. Or the extended cut. Oh, yeah. The extended cut. There's like an extended cut of Django Unchained. Really? It's a lot more than saying the N word. Yeah. I feel like if directors, if directors, if extended cuts of movies was more of a normal thing, then I feel like we wouldn't get movies like Scarface where you got like, or Love and Basketball where it's just so long. Because it's like some of them things like the director just fall in love with these scenes. We need this scene. And then us as the viewers are like, we ain't need that. Well, see, that's what goes to this film. So this movie, I think, had like a $200,000 budget total. Well, you knew you blew a lot of your budget on having Bob Marley's son and Wyclef in the movie. So the movie budget is blown. Y'all don't have a lot of time for sets and extras and special effects. And I'm sure y'all spent good money on them cars. How much am I going to get paid for this? Don't worry, we got Bob Marley's son. You'll get your money in the back end, man. Yeah, nobody getting paid for this. Nobody getting paid for this. I hope nobody got paid for this. It's down to formula.