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Jess N Jer's $h!t ShowJess N Jer's $h!t Show

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jer njeremy discuss a bunch of guy talk

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Two friends, Jesse and Jerry, discuss their long-lasting friendship of 25 years. They talk about how friendships change and drift apart over time, but theirs has remained strong. They also mention their different interests and styles, but it doesn't affect their friendship. They talk about their loyalty to each other and how they have each other's backs. They mention their recent health issues but express gratitude for their friendship. They joke around and discuss their plans to go out and have a good time. Yo, yo, yo, what's up? This is the Jesse and Jerry Shit Show Podcast. Jesse's here right now because he got a little drunk. But hey, I got a special guest that we like to call Billy, but his name is Jerry. What up, Jerry? What up, my man? So what do you want to talk about tonight, my man? I mean, let's go, you know, to Shit Show. Let's talk about our friendship and what a shit show it's been. It's been a good shit show, but it's been 25 years. And how often do you think a friendship like that ever lasts? I mean, 25 years of friendship. I mean, how often? I mean, yeah, you have friends in grade school, which you usually lose with friends in middle school. Right. Then in middle school, you go to high school, you start losing even more friends. And then, what, you basically, you get a job and sometimes you meet friends there. It's like how we met, except why. Right. That's how we met. We've been friends. We've been friends ever since. And I consider you basically one of my best, if not my best friend. I mean, I got Ronnie and kids, but I don't talk to them that often, not even on Thanksgiving like I used to. But you, you'll come down from Wyoming, or I'll go up to Wyoming. And either way, we still see each other, which is fucking great. And you got my back no matter what fucking goes down. Right. And I think you go back to, you got kids that are your friends in elementary school. You grow up with them, but as you get older, you start changing. You know, you might be into skateboarding, I might be into rodeo, or wrestling actually. Right. Big truck, things like that. Like, hey man, I like to go right. So you kind of drift apart because you take them on, right. That's. So, then you get to high school, and then you start being a girl. You start, you know, going through your, you change your life. And you end up, like, hey, we got one or two good friends, but we're not my friends. In high school I had, you know, 500 friends. Now, you know, I'm 47, you're 47. We're not young anymore. No, but we act like it. Yeah, but what we do is, you know, you'll wear different clothes than I wear. I'm more of that redneck, Wyoming. You wouldn't fucking know it right now because we kind of switch. You wear the tennis shoes, I wear the boots, which is odd. I got my kicks on, too. Right. I'm a Luka, you know. You got your kicks when I got the boots. Normally, you wear the redneck shit. Like, we always went to Coyotes, Westerner, and all that. He was always fucking kicked out when I was wearing gangsta out. Even though I love country music. All my country music fans know fucking I love that. But, I mean, and now all of a sudden we like switch. You're wearing the tennis shoes, I'm wearing the boots. It's fucking odd. Well, you'll be driving a motorcycle and you're like, oh, fuck, I can't put my cowboy boots on now. You know, Wranglers and all that stuff. No, I can't. Right. I'll be honest. It looks weird, but what? Every time I see you, you're in the tennis shoes. Fuck, it just don't look right. The cowboy boots, the cowboy boots, right? It's like, what's wrong with this motherfucker? But I guess, you know, if you can't put your foot in the boot, you can't put your foot in the boot. It's where we kind of work. In fact, and we've been friends since, what, 2000? Yeah, about that. I think maybe 1999, 2000. I mean, we worked at Pacific Supply, back in drywall or shingles or whatever. My first impression of you, let's talk about friends. Like, I could tell you anything. Absolutely, absolutely. I'm like, who the fuck is this guy? Like, you know, everybody comes up. I'm like, who the fuck is this guy, you know? And, you know, I remember my first day over there, it was rough. Yeah, well, you know, I don't remember who my neighbor was, but it was you and somebody else. It was Bullock. It was Bullock. I'm like, let's work and let's see what he's got. But you kept up with us. I mean, we put boards behind our back walking down the street. You're like, all right, fuck it, I can do this, too. I'd give it a shot. I've got a lot of boards. And that shit gave me a lot of respect for you. I'm like, okay, this motherfucker's got it. He's going to be all right. He's going to make it. You know, we just went from, you know, my redneck genre or whatever, like, you know, social. Whatever you want to call it. You know, your ICD. Like, I never heard of ICD. I'm like, what the fuck? You know, it takes my mouth out. I'm like, what the fuck is this? Slams, twists and plays. Boom. Come on, buddy. You know, I'm still not a huge fan. But there's a couple songs that I listen to. Let me guess. The Denton Game? Yeah. Everybody loves the fucking Denton Game. Everybody. We would just go hang out. And really that's all it took was like, hey, man, you're a fucking sweet guy. Let's hang out. Let's hang out. And we started going to the bar. And it was all like that. I learned a lot from you and the Dudleys. And, well, no, Hanks really wasn't a fighter. But you and the Dudleys, I mean, we go out and fucking, you three fucking together are no good fucking combo. Yeah. Sometimes even just you alone ain't a good combo. You know, it just depends on the week. You know, I grew up with Scrapper where you're more of the lover. Yeah, I'm more of the fucking peacekeeper. Let's go have fun, enjoy our fucking night. There's no reason to fucking scrap. But I, you know, me. Whether you're looking for pussy. Looking for pussy or not, you know, you offend my people. In fact, I mean, I will give you that 100%. That doesn't work. You got your back. If they're friends with you, you got their back 100%. It doesn't matter who the fuck it is. Yeah, but, you know, I mean, like, you know, you've got your mom, you've got your dad. I've got my mom, my dad. We're brothers. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. We're straight up fucking brothers. You know, it don't matter to me. Like, if you're having a hard time, call me. I'll come down. I mean, and you've been the same way. And that's what you don't get. You get no friends. No, you don't. You know, you'll find one or two people that you're just like, aw. And then, I mean, a lot of it, I mean, you got to be, like, when they get married and stuff, and the marriage works, which, honestly, I haven't had one that's worked. Me neither. You know, they separate. They do, like, fucking couple shit, which is fine. That's fun and great. And no offense to my buddies, because I love them to death. And I'll always be, if they ever call me, I'll be there for them. I mean, I may have talked to Ronnie every now and again. Right. I mean, but you and me, it doesn't matter what's going on. Yeah, I mean, we talk probably at least three times a week. Yeah, sometimes. But there's times where we'll go for a couple months and I can say a word to each other. But then when we do talk, it's like we never even skip a beat. Yeah. It's like, you know, life gets busy. You know, the last couple of weeks, I've had a rough couple of weeks. Yeah, you had a heart attack. You know, and I had the haymaker. And, you know, when I wake up. It wasn't the hay, it was the widow. It was the haymaker, widowmaker. The widowmaker is the one that makes the fucking female a widow. Yeah, it was. And I tell you what, it's the worst. But when you wake up coming out of surgery and your boy's there, you know, as a matter of fact, you know, you showed up and I thought I was dead because Yeah, he shows up. He walks through the door and you're like, what the fuck? Did I go back in time? I'm dead. I'm done. But you don't get a lot of that when it comes to you've got friends, you've got acquaintances. Family. And family. And then you've got like that one or two that you're like backbone. Right. Which, I mean, I guess the person for me is the one, which is you. Yeah, and we've never had a fight. We've never had scraps. I think we've argued a few times, but, I mean, it's like squats. It's like fucking in the past, whatever. Yeah, let's go hang out. Let's do something. Let's do something. You know, and a lot of, you know, people, you know, everybody knows I'm screaming. Yep. I just don't care. It doesn't fucking matter what bar we go to, except for last night. That one we went out there to the bar. Yeah. We heard about the fucking rapist dude. Yep. I could see it in your eyes. You're like, motherfucker, if I didn't have a heart attack, me and Todd beat the fuck, and I'm not a fighter, but I want to be the fuck out of him. I want to be the break up. I hope I don't see him tonight, because I'm a little bit, maybe I'll throw, I don't know. Well, you know, I got you, too. Oh, I know you do. But I don't want your, either, it doesn't matter, either one of us, our hearts shouldn't really float like that. But, I mean, it is what it is. Oh, fuck me, you know, you got one good side, I got one good side of the heart, together we got one. Right? We at least got one, and that motherfucking beat down. Who the fuck's calling me? Oh, fucking Alicia. Should I answer it on our podcast? Fuck yes. All right, let's do it. Hey, what are you doing? What are you doing? I'm podcasting right now, and now you're live on my podcast, so. Are you drunk? A little bit, yes. But when we're on our way out of here, I'll take a flame of Dr. Pepper's, so. I'll probably be twisted pretty good, and maybe buy a couple more drinks at the bar and I'll be set. How the fuck am I supposed to crawl out of the bar? Are you serious? Out of the bar? You're gonna get in trouble. Because I got Jeremy with me. Do you think Jeremy can carry both of us? Goddamn right. What, do you think I'm some fat chump? He doesn't need to carry both of us, he only needs to carry you, sweetheart. I mean, I'm a man, I can take myself out. We will see, we will see. I am ready to get fucked up. Yeah, me too. Mommy, I gotta drive, I got the LTOs, cuz. Right? Well, Mommy, I just gotta straighten my hair and do my makeup, and then I'm ready whenever. Fuck, you better put a lot of that shit out. So, where are we meeting? Fuck you, Jeremy. Jeremy's gonna have some makeup on his face, like a black guy. Bitch. Why the fuck would he get a black guy on his face? Anybody hit him, I'll hit the fucker that hit him. A motorcycle wreck in 63 didn't hit me. And I'm not a fighter, but fuck it, I'll protect his back, fuck that. I'm gonna punch you too, then. You're gonna punch me, sweetheart? Yeah, I just said I was gonna give Jeremy the black eye, and you said you had to protect him. Well, I guess if we got a strap, we can strap it. I mean, you're like Billy's sister, so. Well, you know what, he fucked my sister, so I guess we're a gang, right? You two are bad. No, we're good. We're good. Why is it so dark? You what? Where are we going? Wherever you want to go. Like what? You can't ask me right now, because. You're fucked up, Bart. A little bit, I don't care where we go. We'll go wherever that F-150 EcoBoost is. Okay, well, where are Alicia going? We'll go there. A nightclub? I don't know. I want to dance. Well, then you can't go to the karaoke bar. And the bears, the bears don't play loud enough music. The dance plays rock. Can't dance rock. Maybe I can turn into a stripper. But then again, it might be a full tournament, and you'll be in the way of shooting that fucking old man. Fuck that dick. Good God. Now I'm worked up over him. Which one? Remember when we went to see Antonina and we got the shot? He's like. Antonina? Yeah. And that guy in the shoes goes like, we're having a tournament. I don't remember you. I don't give a fuck. The old man that runs the nursing home? Uh-huh. Yeah, I remember that. Oh, that's a BFW. Oh, tonight's going to be an interesting night with you and Jer. Which Jer, because I'm Jeremiah, he's Jeremy. See, that's why we call him Billy. No, we don't want to get too crazy on this podcast right now. Yeah, we ain't giving you fucking personal information about it. No, I will not give you the first three numbers of my social security number. I'll give you the last four so we have distance. I love you. You're horrible. I am not a whore. I am tonight. Oh, are we getting your monkey something tonight? Oh, fuck. Yes, Jeremy's coming to us. Oh, Jeremy's going to hit that monkey? I thought you guys were like brothers and sisters. That's fucked up. I think I just puked in my fucking mouth a little bit. All right. Well, call us when you're all ready. All right. Have you heard from Alicia yet? Uh-huh. Yeah, she said hey. She said hey? She said hey. You know, I guess, well, you know, we can pick her up on our way out, too. So we can pick her up on our way out there. These places are about like 56, 78. Yeah. Yeah. And I live on 78.7. Okay. I'll text her right now. All right. Talk to you soon. Okay. All right. Bye. Bye. They're out of control. It starts here. Where the fuck were we anyway? Somehow. Fuck, I don't know. I don't remember either. Somehow, short little bit. Some shit. Are we going to talk about Little Ashes? Oh, my God. Or Wiley? Yeah, yeah. Do you want to go there or do you still want to talk about fucking stories from our past? I think we should just stick with us. I don't know. And he's old anyway. We don't want to fuck him. Yeah. I mean, I'm not a fool. He's a scrapper. Yeah. You are a scrapper. It seems like every time we went to the bar, he was on the bike. Not all the time, but most of the time. It just depends on my mood. Fucking crawlers down the pipe when we met Alicia. Yeah. That guy had it. They all have it. Yeah, just like the one that was sent to your cousin's wife. To my cousin. Yeah, your cousin's wife. He deserved it, too. Even when he went to follow the Harleys to fucking our third twin fucking class, it was all right. That may rest in peace. No, I'm not here no more. Love Chuck. But, you know, my thing is, you know, if you're going to provoke something, I'm just not going to walk up and just be like, I don't like the way he's going to hit you. Well, no, you haven't. No, it depends on the situation. You know, you fuck with my people, and that's what's up. You've got more of that intellectual. I mean, I'm smart, you're smart. You've got more of that. You think. You'll think. Okay, you know, if it's worth it. Me, I'm like, fuck it, $300 for an assault charge, and I feel great. You know? I mean, other than the a-commandments and the bullshit that I've got to put up with, that's going to happen. Right. Right. Anchor man. Right, when you punch his hair off when he pulled the gun. He gets to walk away, but, yeah, he's pulled the gun. And he's a drinker. Oh, and he even drinks at night. You're one of the average drinkers. I like to have my thumbs controlled, you know, but I also want to make sure my people know. You know, I think out of all the people I know, I mean, I count probably on one hand, how many of us do not have any problems. Yeah. Because that's what we do. We take care of each other. And this is before the Uber and fucking. The Uber. The Uber. Yeah, and welcome to the shit show. They'll be saying hello. Hi, girl. With their little bark. Arf, arf, arf, arf. But at the end of the day, you can, you know, I'd say you can have a lot of appointments with people. You're like, hey, I see you at the bar. Hey, what's up? And if you go to the bar, there's people that you know, you've seen. I mean, we've been out of the bar scene for a fucking long time. I mean, I just recently started going back. But, I mean, obviously, I don't recommend it. But it's recommended anyway because there are problems on and off. And there's a crowd, like we were. I mean, honestly, who really goes to a bar at 47, you know, besides us right now? Right. We're actually like that. But it's not really a bar. It's like karaoke probably. No offense, but at least it sucks. But, yeah, you walk in and you're like, Jesus Christ, how many people have got holes down their fucking teeth? Okay, but you walk in and there's a lot older people than us in that bar. Right. And we're talking people, you know, we've got one guy where they come. Catfish? Mm-hmm. Buzz Lightyear? I call him Buzz Lightyear. That's for you little asses. Yeah, and he don't know what I'm talking about. He does. That's the beauty of being human. We can go out and we can say what we need to say. And if people get pissed off, we can back it up. One way or the other. Whether we back it up, we're talking shit back, or it's me, like, hey, you know what, I'm not afraid of you. Yeah, right. You're not afraid to trash, but I'm like, dude, just fucking relax. It ain't even fucking worth it, but. But sometimes it is. It's just like the night that I take that guy down and pull the gun on him. Not that it was worth it, but, I mean, like the one where I didn't have my contacts in. I'm watching Alicia's thing, and then we sit down and we talk, and, you know, he comes over to that white guy, this dude, I'll do whatever the fuck. Which, obviously, he don't know who I am because I'm not that type. I'm not the type to fuck somebody and walk away. Right, you don't know me, you know, and that's where he fucked up. That's where he's disrespected. I mean, me and Alicia still talk or whatever, but then you got worked up. He's like, what the fuck did he say to you? I'm like, he said I was the one who just fucked her, and he asked if he was going to beat my ass. I go, but he didn't try it. You got fucking worked up. He's like, oh, motherfucker wants to beat you? We can go right now. I kept pushing him back. He's like, no, bro, it's okay. Let's just get the fuck out of here. Fuck it. And, of course, you talked back. I just moved my head and put him over the railing. That's what it is. You can't make an idle threat. Because an idle threat, some people like me. Some take that very well. Snap a slab in the head. Like, hey, you just said you were going to beat my boy's ass because he talked back. Oh, and you know what? If I remember right, didn't he say something to you too? That set you off? He did. He said I was like the garbage. And I said this ain't my bitch. That ain't my bitch. My piece of ass, whatever you want to call it. But you still threatened my boy. I had nothing to do about the female. Furthermore, you just stepped on my boy's toes because that's your ex-girlfriend. If you want to go to the same bar as your ex, deal with the fuck with something like that. You know what I mean? Obviously, you didn't make the cut, so don't be a little whiny bitch because I'm not going to fuck with you. But what was the best part of all that? Other than, of course, you whooped his ass and then beat the fucking car lot up. But the next week, what happened? We were skinhead. Well, yeah, we were skinhead. The bartender said, get out of here, skinhead. That's the bar we went to all the time. They knew us. They knew us at Crawlers. I still worked up and there's a used car lot next door. And I took my shit out on this man. Right, and then they took the rest. And then the next week, we went to Alicia's. Not Alicia's. We went to Wendy's. And Alicia came and me and her ended up in the bedroom for hours. So, I mean. And I ended up probably just drinking and beating on Alicia or Wendy's kids. Well, yeah. Because if I remember right, that's when Wendy's kids fucking drank the vodka and put water in it. So the water they put in the freezer. Now she don't. The vodka don't freeze. The vodka doesn't freeze. Don't be trying to pull one over. No, but at the end of the day, I mean, we've been through some shit in the last, you know, 24, going on 25 years. But a lot of people don't go through a makeover. You know what I mean? You can go out and you can be like, oh, that's my boy. That's my boy. But is it really your boy? You know, Snuff is, you know, my youngest. Youngest, I love that. You got that, you know. You're only about 15 days older, Parker. He's younger than me, but he's also my youngest child. You know, that's Chevelle. You know, Godfather. We've been through some shit. You know, going to an act in Wyoming. Broke the shoulder. Like, you know what? Fuck it. Let's just get fucked up. Running on the goddamn four-wheeler through town. Running down the top, you know. That was great. Two-wheel drive piece of shit. And we're ditching cops in town. Just go get, you know, some fucking cops. Yeah, you got tics over that, bro. Actually, I had a fucking hood. Yeah, you like that, bro. I do. I love cops. Here we go with this one. We're driving in an act in Wyoming. And, you know, he gets pulled over. He's got a fucking open container. I cover that fucking shit real quick. I don't say shit. Shut the fuck up. Don't say nothing. And he's like, where are you going? He's like, this house right here. I'm hosting my girlfriend. So they give it. Was that the one that gave you the warning? Yeah, that's the one that gave me the warning. The one in Copeville. We went down there. He's the one that gave me. And he flipped around. I asked you, is that a cop? You're like, yeah. I'm like, fuck it. I'm cool. Fuck it. I'm going to go. Yeah, we were cruising. And, of course, you know, registration on the vehicle was routine. Right. So all of a sudden, we're fucking terrorists or some shit, you know. Getting our front roads out. Getting ready to go pray on the side of the street. Pray-ality. You know, I get a call from the courthouse. They're like, hey, you know, hey, your buddy has a fake tic. And I'm like, what's a tic? It was about $110 or something. Something like that. I said, look, if I pay the fine, will it go away? He said, well, that's fine. Put him on the license. I said, then I'll come in and pay the fine. You know, and I called him and said, hey, I took your ticket. And, you know, he said, hey, man. I said, don't fucking worry about it. We'll figure it out. Like, nah. It's $110. They'd rather keep driving like there's no point than say, fuck you, motherfucker. You should have slowed down. Right. You know. I'm acting it on, but, you know, this bastard's fucking exposition. He said, oh, let's go. And I said, hit the gas, motherfucker. And, you know. When he flipped around, I pulled over, and then he pulled over another car right behind us. Or in front of us, one of the two. Yeah, it was right behind us. Pulled up behind us. And he said, well, I appreciate you stopping. Well, fuck. We can't outrun that motor road. Right. Not in an exposition, anyway. No, not nothing. Maybe in the F-150. Where the fuck was we going, anyway? We went to go pick up that trailer. That three-car hauler that I left behind there. That's right. That black tire. I don't know. Over there by Bear Lake. Turn to Bear Lake. Yep. Right by the block. Yeah. Tusk chose the wrong one. Yeah. And, you know, I really haven't had much contact with her. And, you know. That's right. Me and my ex get along fine. She doesn't even talk to her. She doesn't talk to her no more. They're like, I don't know. They're obsolete. And that's where it comes down to that friendship. They grew up together. They, you know, especially in a town of 1,500 people. Those are your people. You'd think, right? But they go away. They go away. Right. And that's something we have that has not gone away. No. And it won't, either. Because, as a matter of fact, we won't let a female come between us. No, female anything. You know. And I've posed before. Something fucking happened to me. Yeah. Make sure my kids are taken care of. Absolutely. Vice versa. I've got my 25-year-old, you know. And she's got the baby. You know, that's a grandbaby. You know. But there's nobody I would trust more than my best friend to say, hey. And vice versa. You know. It's just like when you got, you know. Sometimes your drama has to suck when you got married. You know. To which one? Yes, Hillary or Nicole? To Nicole. Yeah. Yeah. That one was a mistake. Well, they both were mistakes, anyway. But fucking Nicole. I mean, fuck. It took me a long time before I even told her I loved her. I mean, I really didn't want to marry her, but. It just felt like, oh, I've got to do this. We made the right choice. We've been together long enough. Right. We were together. I mean, and she was good to me. She took care of me. And then, once we got married, she said, I do. And everything fucking changed. It was fucking crazy. That's when shit went downhill, so. Because she went. You know, I came down from Wyoming. From Athens. The night before. To come and set up your wedding. Right. Gavin broke his arm. Gavin broke his arm. And I'm like, bro, go take care of this. So there I am with a bunch of maid honor. Like, putting up flowers. It's just stupid shit all over the backyard. I think we got done at probably three, four o'clock in the morning or somewhere. Right. Somewhere in there. And, you know, very early in the morning. And, you know, we got up. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. And, you know. 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