energy

The speaker discusses the importance of protecting one's energy and surrounding oneself with positive, like-minded individuals. She shares her experience of attending an event where she felt uplifted by the energy of the people around her. She advises listeners to evaluate the energy of the people they interact with and make changes accordingly. She suggests moving negative individuals to the outer circles of one's life while keeping those who uplift and support closer. The speaker also offers tips for dealing with low-vibe people, such as having a conversation to address the issue or creating distance. Welcome to the Beauty Pro Elite Podcast. I'm your host Jeanne Ann Kenning and my mission is to help beauty business owners create a dynamic business they can be proud of with marketing, mindset, finance, and social health so you can start attracting those dream clients and building a brand you always wanted and deserve. If you are ready to explode your beauty biz then this is the place for you. It's time to get started. Hello and welcome to the Beauty Pro Elite Podcast. I am so excited to talk to you today about something that's near and dear to my heart and that is protecting your energy and how to evolve your business when you are maybe not surrounded by the best people or you're having trouble with the energy that surrounds you. So I kind of took inspiration from my business coach Ayla Soracek. She spoke last week about surrounding yourself with people that you know rise with you and lift you up and it really has had me thinking about how to effectively communicate this topic with you so that making sure this is plugged in so that you can get the most out of my words and the thoughts that are in my head. So as you grow and your business grows and you elevate your status you're going to start to feel uncomfortable and you're going to start to feel uncomfortable about the work relationships you have, the personal relationships you have, friends, family, that sort of thing. So I want to talk about that. So about, it's almost been two weeks, two weeks ago I had the good fortune of traveling to LA to be with my amazing friend and support my hypnobreathwork coach Lauren Little in her event I Am Woman. Now one of the things that I have always prided myself in is being compartmentalized in who I surround myself with because I am very empathetic to energy. So for those of you that are in the beauty industry, if you're doing a service and you just get bad vibes from somebody or somebody sucks the life out of you, you know it can really ruin your whole day, right? So I've been very attuned to that my whole career. I will not take clients that I get bad vibes from or that don't feed or nurture my soul because quite frankly it sucks like to be around that. So being in that environment has us all reflecting on what can happen when you are surrounded by like-minded people, women, men, that sort of thing. So we all are in a mastermind group called Captivate. It's all for coaches and business owners that are making six-figure plus. There's men and women in it and the energy that you surround yourself is the energy that you're going to bring to your business, okay? So let's talk about that. So in this group we are talking high-level, high-achieving people. Does it mean that everybody's sunshine and roses all the time? Absolutely not. It is not like that. But there's always one in a bunch each week that rises, right? All boats rise with the tide, right? So as one goes up everybody feeds from that energy. So what I have learned over the years is this. One, number one. We'll talk about number one. You have to listen to your intuition. So when I say something doesn't feel right whether it's somebody you're working with or you're surrounding yourself with, if it doesn't feed your soul and make you feel good, you need to either remove yourself from the situation or you need to, like, push them to the outer realm. I'm going to draw something and I'll try to describe it for people that are on the podcast but if you're watching the video you'll see it. So we kind of have different circles of people in our life. So just imagine a circle with, like, two, three circles in the circle. So there's one big circle and then there's a medium circle, small circle and an extra small circle. The extra small circle are the people that we have contact with every single day. So, like, our family, our kids, maybe a best friend, okay? Those are the people that have immediate contact to you, that talk to you all the time, right? Then the people in the small circle are, you know, your friends, maybe some co-workers, right? And then out from there would be distant family, aunts, uncles, cousins, that sort of stuff depending on if you are, you know, exposed to that or how you do it. And then the outer circle is just, like, acquaintances, people that you talk to sometimes but not all the time. So what happens is, if somebody on the, let's say, small circle is not feeding your soul or providing you with good energy, they need to move out to the medium circle or the large circle. It doesn't mean, you know, every time I hear this, you are the sum of the five people that you spend the most time with. That's all fine and dandy, but to cut somebody completely out of your life is very difficult. And the only way... Okay, so I was saying the only way that you would ever cut somebody else out is if they did something that was harmful to you or was mean or something like that, right? You're never going to actually cut somebody out of your life. Like, we don't want that. But you can move them to the outer circle. It doesn't mean you cut them off. It just means you're in the outer circle there. I still text you once in a while, but you don't have direct contact to my energy field. You follow me? So at this I Am Woman event, we've all agreed that when you're in the presence of people that are going to feed and nurture your soul, it does something for you. Now, my girl, Lauren Little, you guys have known. I've had her on here. I talk about her all the time. I'm a certified hypnobreastworks facilitator now because of her. She completely changed my life. Now, I will say that her energy matches my energy. So she's very positive. She's very upbeat. She texts on me. I check on her. It's not one-sided, right? Those are the types of energy fields that you want surrounding you. So how do we step forward and elevate? So one of the things that I will tell you is as you are growing and things start to become a little bit uncomfortable, you're going to notice that you're going to feel icky about the people that you surround yourself with sometimes, okay? So I've been through this several times in my life. Sometimes I'll notice that I will be with a group of people and maybe they speak ill will of their spouses. I don't do that. Excuse me. It's not something I do. So that makes me uncomfortable, right? Or perhaps it's a lifestyle thing. Maybe you were associating with people that were going out drinking and partying all the time and now you don't drink, right? It's hard to associate that. It doesn't mean you're like, oh, I'm not going to hang out with you anymore. It just means you're moving them to the outer circle, right? You want that inner extra small and small circle to be people that are going to feed your energy and lift you up on a daily basis. Plain and simple, okay? So one of the things that I loved about this event was it was all women, no matter what they were going through, willing to raise their vibration and have their energy. But outside of the event, there was many conversations had about million dollar revenues and how to attract clients and all sorts of stuff. And it was not drama. It was not talking ill will about somebody else. It was none of that, right? Because that's what you get when you associate with people that your energy matches, okay? So how do you change your situation or how do you evaluate where you're at? The first thing you need to do is evaluate high vibe and low vibe, okay? So if you are at work, and I know this is really hard in the beauty industry, especially, and you find that you are not getting that really great feeling from people, or maybe you go to work and you just get this icky feeling, that's because the people around you are low vibe. They're negative, they're late, they don't do good services, whatever it may be, right? And then the high vibe people are the people that you look forward to, that you have engaging conversations, that raise you up, not bring you down, right? So how do you change that? Step one, I want you to take an inventory. I want you to start to pay attention to the people around you and the energy that they are feeding you, okay? Consider it like a meal. Are they feeding you Doritos, chips, or are they giving you fruits and vegetables, right? So if they're a Dorito, we got a problem, right? And we're going to talk about how to deal with that effectively. If they are fruits and vegetables, that's awesome. You want those people in closer because the more money you make, or the more your business grows, you just don't have time to deal with that crap. Like if I reach out to you as a coworker or friend to see how you're doing and you don't ask how I am, sorry, it just doesn't work that way, right? It has to be a mutually beneficial relationship. So when you identify those people, what do you do? So let's just say that you have identified somebody at work that's low vibe. They're very negative. They're very, like, they talk about the workplace in a horrible manner, and it really brings your energy down. You have a problem, okay? So there's two ways to deal with it. My way is to come to Jesus conversation, which is what I'm used to doing, which is we're going to chat, we're going to have a good talk about where you're at, and what's going on in my feelings. I'm going to tell you how it is. And you are going to either agree with me or not, but you're going to make the person aware that the way they behave is making you uncomfortable, right? Sometimes that will bring a little drama to the workplace situation. So you can cause, put a little distance between yourself, just remove yourself from any conversations that are negative, that sort of thing. Sometimes the low energy is from somebody who is in your extra small circle, like your spouse. Maybe they are ragging on you about the state of your house, or they are upset about how much you're working, or they're giving you a hard time because maybe you're not making enough money yet. So how do you deal with that? Obviously, we can't move our spouse from the extra small circle to the large circle. But here's what I have experienced works best for us. So in our house, we have like a State of the Union at once a month at the beginning of the month. And it's like, this is what I have going on this month. This is where I'm at. I'm transparent with my business to my husband, my husband's transparent to me and about his business, and it kind of gives it that full open communication like, okay, you're working that much. Okay, I'm gonna have to step it up. If the vibe in return is not feeding me like if he's feeding me Doritos and not fruits and vegetables, I don't even know where I come up with these analogies, folks. Like it's crazy, sometimes the way my brain works. So if that person is not feeding you positive energy, and you love them and you want them in your life, you need to tell them listen, I am building a massive business here. I'm working really hard. I need you to be feeding me as positive energy. It doesn't get any more clear and more direct than that. And when you have those conversations, you will quickly see that the energy shifts. My husband's self-employed, the period from like April to November is extremely busy. And I find sometimes his energy and his attitude is a lot when he comes home. It's like very like, angry sometimes. Okay. And I'm like, listen, you can't bring that in here. Like that's not allowed, right? Remember, I'm protecting myself. I'm protecting my energy because if I allow that to infiltrate me on a daily basis, then I would not be able to show up for my clients and for my community the way I can. Right. So you need to not be afraid to have those conversations. Another one that always comes is parents. Our parents are very quick to dole out things and not think about what they say to us as adults. And we as children believe that we should just sit down and take it when sometimes it's okay to be like, you know what, what you said to me hurt my feelings or is not helpful in my current situation or whatever. You need high vibe, high energy people to surround you every single day, to lift you up, to encourage you. Right. And if you don't have those truths in your life, you need to find them. There's plenty of ways that you can find them. So where can you find them? My biggest thing is find like-minded people that are doing what you're doing. So I love our mastermind community at Beauty Defined. I love the vibe. I love the laughs. I love the words, the way people speak. It's just a different vibe. So when you're in a room with like-minded people that are doing what you're doing, it tends to be more supportive. Right. I do recommend having like some sort of coach involved in that group because if you're just going off on your own, sometimes you'll have like a Debbie Downer that will bring the whole vibe down. Nobody needs that. Okay. So that way. The other way you can do it is go and network. Go to business events and network and find other business owners that are just like you that are doing the same thing. And they will be a breath of fresh air for you because they can identify that. Okay. Now I want to reiterate again, I'm not telling you to go and ditch all your friends and say, peace out. You're in the extra large circle now. But I'm saying if you have a relationship with somebody and they are not giving you good energy or they are not feeding your soul, you need to move them out of your inner circle. Okay. It's just the way it is. And unfortunately, I've done it a few times. And it's very, very upsetting for me because I love everybody. I want to be friends with everybody. But I've known and I've learned now that you can't have somebody jeopardizing your energy. Okay. You need to stay high vibes, high energy on a daily basis, because what happens, it affects your mind. And we all know, as we've talked a million times on here, that if you aren't watching your mind, then things will go downhill. Okay. So looking, so taking an inventory, looking around who's feeding your soul, who's not, who's giving you Doritos, who's giving you fruits and vegetables, like really paying attention to that. Follow your intuition. Okay. If your intuition is telling you that this person is not good, it doesn't mean you tell them, you know, get lost and be mean. It's just you move them to the outer circle, you distance yourself a little bit, and you will find that your energy speaks to that. The other thing I find very effective is if somebody texting, first of all, and messaging is the worst form of communication that was ever invented, I believe, because a lot of times when somebody texts you, you can misconstrue what they're saying or how it's perceived or whatnot, like you're always gonna read it the wrong way. So keep that in mind. But two, don't be afraid if somebody texts you a negative or is complaining or gossiping or that sort of thing. Just don't reply. The message gets across pretty clear, very fast when you don't reply. Okay. And then finally, not being afraid to have those conversations with people that you love and you still want in your inner circle and in your but listen, like, I got a lot going on. I'm running all these businesses. I got kids, I got a house, I got a family, I got farm, I got all this stuff. Your energy is really bringing me down lately. And you know, I want to make sure that the energy is uplifting and happy and, you know, feeds my soul, they're going to go, it's going to be a kick in the pants for them. They're not going to maybe love it. They may be pissed off. Sorry. But that's just the truth, right? And, and as you grow older, you're going to be more apt to have those conversations because you know, what nourishes your soul. So one of the things that I took away from, you know, listening to Ayla's podcast on this very topic, and all of us going to LA and all this swirling in my mind is there are people out there that are just like you. There are people out there that have the same like minded ability as you and want to be surrounded by people just like you. You just need to find them. Okay. And in doing so, when you are surrounded by that, here's the magic thing. You feel like you can do anything. There are people around you that are jealous of your accomplishments or wish they could be you. There are people that are cheering you on and want you to succeed and push you forward. So then you do, right? Because a lot of times what happens is, as business owners, and I've heard this hundreds of times, I get to a point, people get jealous, they ask me for money, they, you know, I feel bad showcasing my achievements. I'm like, you should be in a circle where you say, I made $100,000 this month and people are screaming from the rooftops because they're happy for you. Right? That's the kind of people that you need to surround yourself with. And if it's not, you need to find new people. Because what's going to happen when you have that surrounding you is you are unstoppable. You will wake up every day, feeling like you can do anything, and nobody's going to bring you down. I can guarantee you that at least half of the people that I coach on a regular basis, the reason why they're not pushing through the glass ceiling is because they are worried about everybody else around them and not focusing on what they want and what is what their desire, right? What their desire is. So like, they're allowing that energy to infiltrate them and being like, oh, well, you know, I don't want to be a show off, or I don't want to, you know, make this much money because I'm afraid what people are thinking of me. I'm like, screw that, man. I'm like, I will be yelling from the rooftops when we reach a certain milestone. And that's how it should be. You should be proud of what you achieve, and how many clients you get, and how much money you're making because you worked hard to get there. Right? So you need to find that circle and surround yourself with them and allow them to lift you up together. Right? And you will see, once you find that, it's conversations of, I sold $5,000 today. Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you. How much did you sell today? This much? Oh, my God, this is so amazing. I can't believe this is happening to me. Instead of, hey, how's your day going? Horrible. I can't believe this is my life. You know, like, that stuff drains you, right? So you will find that when you have those conversations with like-minded people, you will be fed the proper energy. So what is the lesson in all this? There are people out there for everybody. There are people out there that will support you no matter what. There are people out there that will not judge you and want to see the best of you. You just need to go out and find your people. So as always, if you're looking to find your people, reach out to me. We have an amazing mastermind with like-minded women that are so badass, and they just support each other. And if you are looking to raise your energy, I encourage you to just start taking an inventory today, and you will find that little by little, you can raise your vibe and your business will go with it. Okay? I will see you next week. Thanks for tuning in. Hey, thanks so much for tuning in today. It means everything to me to have your support. My mission is to help thousands of beauty business owners grow as big as they possibly can. So if you found today's episode valuable, the best way to share the love is to screenshot this episode, share to your socials, or even better, share with another business owner. Perhaps you could leave me a review, however you're listening to this podcast. And if you are looking for additional support, please reach out to me at beautydefinedcoach on Instagram. Can't wait to see you next week.