Episode #003 Cockles of Christ

The speaker is talking about their experiences watching the "Planet of the Apes" movies and their frustration with the outdated special effects and monkey suits. They mention their lack of motivation to do things they don't enjoy, like going to the gym. They also mention the changing weather in Tennessee and their excitement for an upcoming fishing trip and wedding in Florida. The speaker talks about their job and their appreciation for their hardworking crew. They also mention a funny story about their coworker pretending not to speak English to annoy people. Overall, they express a mix of boredom, frustration, and excitement for future plans. what's up everybody welcome to cockles of the heart episode 3 I this is the third episode I've done in a row so the last two days I did the other two episodes and I need to hurry up and get the fuck out of the house because I don't have a whole lot to talk about I haven't been doing anything but sitting inside like you know since I don't got any friends yet as I've said and I don't really have any hobbies besides this I literally just go to work and I come home and then I sit on the couch and not do shit last three days I've been watching planet of the apes I've got one planet of the apes left it's the last old planet of the apes holy shit it's just like it's you know I want to respect the the great ideas and the groundbreaking idea of the planet of the apes but holy shit they're so long and so boring and so just you know at first it's comical how shitty the you know the effects are and trying to get past their fucking chimp suits that they have and they're supposed to be like legitimate chimpanzees that are like unrecognizable from like an actual chimpanzees but it's people in these monkey suits and it is so hard to get past it because I don't I don't see I don't see a bunch of apes I see a bunch of people dressed in ape suits and it's so hard watching the new planet of the apes versus the old ones like it's so they always have the gorillas the chimps and the orangutans wearing different colors so like the chimps always wear green the orangutans always were like a gold yellow mustard kind of outfit and then the gorillas in the beginning they wear like black but in the last couple they were red so they have them like color-coded but without the color codes you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between any of them because they're all like skinny man body sizes like the gorillas just have black faces instead of the brown faces of the chimps so it's it's just so weird and it's I have no idea they had so many planet of the ape movies like the old ones and it's just I don't know it's mind-blowing and it's so hard to watch at this point I'm not even enjoying it but I'm like forcing myself to watch all of them just to say I've watched every planet of the apes just like I've watched every Star Wars movie Star Wars is a little more interesting than planet of the apes it's getting so hard to finish this shit I don't even know why the fuck I'm making myself watch this like I literally don't have to nobody made me you know and most of the time if I don't want to do some or something's a little tough or something I'm uninterested in I just won't fucking do it you know I'm not one of those people that are like goddamn I gotta go to the gym I hate the gym but I have to go I really don't want to go I'm exhausted but I'm gonna force myself to go I'm not that person at all that's probably why I never go to the gym cuz I'm just like yeah I don't really want to go and I'm not fucking going to because nobody is making me go to the gym so I don't know I just don't have that driving me I just like having this anxiety of being in my 30s and being like man how much time did I waste doing shit that I really just didn't want to fucking do like going to the gym or doing hobbies or going to events that I really didn't want to fucking go to so now I'm just like this angry grumpy old man that's like if I don't want to do it I'm not fucking doing it kind of attitude so I don't know I just I just don't have it in me I am so close to finishing planet of the apes there's fuck what is it there's planet of the apes beneath the planet of the apes conquest of the planets of the apes and then battle of the planet of the apes and then the new ones I think there's there's a Mark Wahlberg one which is random as shit and that I've seen it before but I haven't watched it this week so they got that one and then they got rise of the planet of the apes dawn of the planet of the apes and war of the planet of the apes and then they're coming out with a brand new planet of the apes that should be coming out in theaters so the only thing I do like about planet of the apes especially like the new ones is that they're not redoing the whole fucking thing it's like they've remade Pinocchio 15 fucking times they've remade the Little Mermaid 15 fucking times I mean they're just like redoing the same goddamn movies that they've had since like the 50s and the 60s and they're just redoing the whole story it's not like an extension or a before and after anything like that it's like it's literally the same shit they just change it and it's dumb as fuck at least planet of the apes is just like Star Wars where it doesn't redo a episode or a movie whatever during the same timeline in the same shit they're going like before and after and around both you know the old versus the new I mean there's a little bit overlapping and there's a little bit of shit that's like it doesn't make sense like no that's not when it happened it happened at this time but for the most part it's pretty fucking like the new ones honor the old ones with little bits here and there you know like the name Nova you have to watch them all if you can get through them all but enough monkey talk it's just all I can think about is planet of the apes shit that's all I've been watching it's probably like 12 hours worth of fucking ape movies and it's it's making me delirious it's like I'm even like walking around the apartment like a fucking ape like they do on the movie but anyway it's Sunday it's absolutely fucking beautiful outside it's like 80-something degrees the lows out here have been like 60 70 degrees I haven't had to wear a hoodie I haven't had to do that shit where you got the heater on in the morning the air conditioning on in the afternoon it's you know spring is springing super hard Montana Springs if you know there's just like it snows for a week and then it's sunny for a week and then it snows for a week and it's not really spring at all it's just fucking garbage and it's miserable so I love that Tennessee has like a legitimate spring like it starts warming up and it stays warm it doesn't it doesn't go back and forth and it's super nice still no sign of the cicadas I'm still waiting for the massive cicada spawning season to come about I really hope it's not like some fucking hoax or like since there's global warming it killed them all and it's not happening this year I really want to see it so my work week is gonna be pretty fucking easy our job site got shut down because they didn't have a fucking permit to do the construction so we didn't personally get in trouble at GC basically got in trouble so all I've been doing is OSHA 30 shit and if you've ever done OSHA 10 OSHA 10 takes 10 hours to do that means OSHA 30 takes 30 hours to do so I still got three days left of doing my OSHA 30 and you can't like just do it all at once you can only do seven and a half hours a day it has a little timer on it and it'll literally kick you out for 24 hours until you can start doing it again so I got three days of that and then I got a wedding down in Florida that I'm super fucking pumped about me and my dad my mom are gonna go deep-sea fishing down there on Thursday so I got to get down there Wednesday night Thursday we're deep-sea fishing the wedding is on Friday and then I guess Saturday is just kind of a hang out at the beach and get drunk kind of thing so I'm super fucking pumped I get to see all my fucking cousins and shit that I haven't seen in a while get to drink with them all some of them I haven't seen them since before I was even able to drink so it's been like 12 13 years since I've seen some of them some of them so they'll be cool to reconnect with them and you know talk about adult shit so pretty excited for that but other than that I don't really have any big plans for the future besides these podcasts I'm really hoping that hopefully my job site starts back up again because I am so sick of being on a computer I was never made to be an office person I'm so fidgety and I like change positions of sitting my back hurts my ass hurts from sitting so fucking long I fall asleep if I sit still for too long so hopefully my job site starts back up again because I was actually kind of having fun we got a super dope-ass crew it's me and this this other guy that's a really good plumber I'm the superintendent he's kind of the foreman and then we got a bunch of Guatemalan guys that are awesome as fuck they're like the hardest fastest working workers I've ever seen and they're actually these ones actually are really smart and actually know how to plumb so I mean I've had temp workers you know his Spanish the Hispanic speaking workers and they just do the craziest shit like why in the fuck would you think that was okay like one time I had some guys screw down some copper inside of this wall and they screwed it to the drywall so then if you go to the other side of the wall all these screws are sticking out it's just like what the fuck like you don't even have to be a plumber to know that like what the fuck are you doing but these guys are awesome and it's real you know tight-knit group and they're really fucking good and the guy that's there there foreman's really cool guy he's super funny he actually the other day he confirmed all of our all of our suspicions and he told me like yeah if I don't like somebody like if I don't like some white guy I just pretend like I don't speak Spanish like they'll yell at me or get pissed at me for something and I'll just say in plain English like I have no idea what you're talking about I don't speak English and it pisses them off so fucking bad and I was like you know we all know you could do that shit but we just you know we can't tell cuz we're stupid Americans and we only speak one language but uh yeah these guys are cool as fuck I actually got like the best compliment ever from these guys the other day so we were all working everyone was busy I'm the superintendent so I'm I'm really not supposed to do anything except for order parts do paperwork go to meetings you know shit like that so but you know I was getting bored I wanted to help out and do something you know I wanted to show these guys I've worked before you know I don't want to think I'm some like soft-hand bitch or something so there's this big boulder in the ditch that needed chipped out and somebody was going to chip it out eventually but I decided I'd chip it out you know just to kind of get some work in help out speed things up a little bit be a part of the team show the guys I'm not any better than they are you know so I was chipping out this boulder and these Guatemalans come up and if you know anything about construction the hardest working people on the planet even outside of construction are Spanish speaking people Mexicans Central Americans all of them they're so fucking fast and so good at working they work crazy fucking hours in crazy conditions and never complain and they get paid less than everyone else because they're cheap labor and the hardest working guys ever so as I'm chipping this boulder all the Guatemalans come up and I hear them you know jabbering in Spanish I don't know what they're saying so I'm just going after it so then Edwin stops me Edwin's there they're foreman kind of their leader he's like oh these guys these guys said that you're a good boss and that you're a hard worker so like having these guys the hardest working people on the planet tell me that I'm a hard worker is like fucking Jesus telling you you have a dope mullet like the man of the mullets telling you that you have a good mullet and it's like the best feeling in the world and I was sitting there the rest of the day chipping that boulder out a big smile on my face like these guys think I'm a hard worker you know and every time I walked by they'd point at me and say good boss good boss and I was just like you know walking on fucking cloud nine great feeling it was amazing so the only the only other you know I don't have a lot going on in my life so a little compliments here and there I'll hold on to forever you know like if a girl says she likes your hair guys will keep their hair like that for the rest of fucking eternity just because of the one compliment from one random girl so this is about the same I got some gay buddies this gay couple back home that I used to hang out with all the fucking time they're hilarious and they're super fun to hang out with and I guess somebody said something that didn't know me very well and they're like oh Reed seems like he's bisexual like he talks weird you know just talking shit being rude and my buddies were like Reed is the straightest guy we've ever met in our lives and they told me that and I was like fuck yeah like I didn't need the reassurance but goddamn that feels fucking good like you know out of anybody that can like you know like gay people have gaydar like fucking pros like they know they know and for them to say that I was just like fuck yeah dude thank you I appreciate that I'm gonna wear that like a fucking badge of honor so you know it's just the little things little compliments here and there guys girls if you know you got to give guys compliments once in a while I know we look like big tough guys and that we aren't insecure and that we're fine but just give us a compliment once in a while even if it's not true it makes us feel really good and even though we might not show that we appreciate it holy shit it you know in our brains we're jumping up and down screaming and smiling so so I was thinking I got so I told you guys I went to Bible College in which is bizarre to some people some people don't believe me when I first tell them but unfortunately it happened I went because one I knew my parents would be pumped for me and they would help me out with going to college and paying for it and getting there and shit like that they didn't pay for the tuition but they helped me get there and they kind of helped me with money as I needed it when I was there and it was in Boston Massachusetts and I just wanted to get the fuck out of Montana so that worked out really well too so I went there for those reasons but also like at first full intention of being like a youth pastor doing something you know I enjoyed it at the time I thought it was fun and cool and interesting so I went to this fucking Bible College and you would not believe the crazy fucking shit that I've seen and the stories that I've heard you know you wouldn't think there'd be that much going on at these colleges but holy shit it's like you get the most socially fucked up people like homeschool kids I'm not shitting on all homeschool kids but these are like homeschool kids like mom and dad are my best friend I've never met anyone my own age ever kind of homeschool kids you know some of them are missionaries kids where all they've done is live in foreign countries where no one speaks English and you know they live on the road so these are like fucking mutant socially awkward weirdos and I wasn't like socially you know I was socially awkward myself at least I thought until I went to this fucking college and the other thing was like not only were they weird when they got there but some of them would get the littlest taste of freedom because mom and dad aren't breathing down their backs and they would absolutely go fucking berserk like there are so many kids that I went to school with over there that are you know have a bunch of kids with different people they're drug addicts they went to rehab they're in jail just MIA like just fucked up these kids even more and it's kind of sad to see a lot of them a lot of them are doing a lot better but some of them just like never really came back around and they just you know completely fell off so one of the funniest things about this college there's only like 200 students maybe a hundred of them live on campus and so the dating pool was really fucked up because you know they they wanted us to date each other they didn't want us to date anybody off campus or outside of the church because then you you know you're dating a lost person and then they'll drag you down you know but little did they know the most corruption was from inside of that fucking college because there are some fucking psychos in there and so this dating pool no matter who you dated it ended up being somebody else's ex like it's you know everyone just plays catch with all these chicks and it goes in a big circle and the dating is so weird because you can tell everybody is just so absolutely sexually frustrated because they're not allowed to have sex so they've never had sex before so they basically just like put their blinders on to anything and everything all they want is a woman so they could hurry up and get married so they could fuck each other brains out and then they usually find out they don't even really like each other that much once the smoke clears and the sex isn't every other fucking day and it's insane I mean there is even like couples there's this one couple that went to this college and I knew that motherfucker was gay and I have no hate against gay people even when I was there I didn't like shit on gay people and hate him I was just like you know some people like to you know smoke cigarettes some people like to fuck other dudes it's it's all the same shit you're no better than anybody else we all fuck up that's the whole deal with this whole Bible thing is that everybody fucks up and nobody's perfect but for some reason they're like oh no gays real bad you know gays big bad they're worse and so you know anyway there's this couple and the dude was flamboyant as fuck and I pointed it out and I said guys that dude is gay I know he's gay I think he's the only person that doesn't know he's gay like why why do you guys not see this he's like no he's not gay he's been going to church his whole life he's got a wife I was like that doesn't mean shit that doesn't mean fucking anything but whatever you know live in fucking denial that dude's gay I feel bad for him because you know he's been going to church his whole life so all of his friends are church people you know obviously his parents are church people his in-laws they're all you know hardcore Christian people so when it comes down to it which it eventually did and he came out and he was gay and they got a divorce he had absolutely fucking nobody and I felt so bad you know you know I wasn't that close to him in college at all I didn't talk to him all that much but I wish I did because I feel I could not even imagine the fucking massive restart button he pushed on his whole life and so you know I wish I could go back and rub it in everyone's faces like yeah I told you so like my gaydar is keen and you know I'm the straightest guy in the world but I know my gays but uh and shit like that people I've never had so much shit stolen in my life you know there wasn't that many kids but holy shit they're a bunch of fucking thieves steal your food steal your stuff your electronics I had some hockey skates stolen some kid that boasted about his thousands of dollars worth of tips from Chili's had his jar stolen like the next day after he rubbed it in everyone's faces he fucking deserved it but you know same and you know there was a couple girls that got pregnant from their bosses outside of work somebody was selling drugs like it was it was not any better than some regular college it was just crazier because you literally get kicked out of school like if you get caught having sex with somebody at a regular school obviously they don't care they're just like don't do it in the dorms you're gonna get a penalty over here you get caught drinking alcohol they kick you out of the fucking college we get tattoos you get written up like I didn't even do anything serious and I I think you had a hundred demerits before you got kicked out I had like 90 and it wasn't even for anything crazy it was shit like like I had my ears pierced and you're not supposed to have your piercings in during class hours which is like 7 a.m. to 1 30 p.m. or something like that I'd forget to take them out sometime so I'd get written up your hair if you're a guy your hair couldn't touch the collar of your shirt because you're always wearing collared shirts for you know class and shit broke that rule a few times because I couldn't afford to get a fucking haircut the worst I ever got was 60 demerits in one go and it was because I worked at a movie theater and me and my buddy decided to go to the movie theater to the late showing and watch your highness which is rated R which believe it or not was not allowed you're full-on fucking adult and you're not allowed to watch rated R fucking movies and so we watched rated R movie and we stayed out past curfew we had curfew at 10 o'clock if you lived on campus you had to be in your dorm room by 10 o'clock or you get written up like they lock all the doors and following you through this one door past security which was one of the other students and if you weren't on the list that you were able to be late you got written up so what we told them is that I had to work that night at the movie theater so I could stay out past curfew and then he made some excuse of why he could stay out past curfew and then we went watched a rated R movie like a bunch of bunch of badasses and the only way we got caught because nobody knew no one was asking it wasn't a big deal he felt guilty that we lied and so he fucking tattled on both of us so the worst part was the Dean of Men who's basically like the principal of just the men of the college was also my girlfriend's dad and also the youth pastor that I basically worked under at this youth program that I was in so he I came in he called me in his office didn't tell me what the fuck we were talking about I'm like yo what's up bud and he's like nothing what'd you do last night I was like oh you know I worked I was the last guy on shift got off at like 2 a.m. and he's like oh really did you now I said yeah why what's the problem he's like well Phil ratted you out told me you saw a rated R movie and lied and stayed out past curfew and I'm like that little fucking pussy and I was so mad at him and my you know this guy hates me already just cuz I'm dating his fucking daughter and so he wrote me up 60 demerits a $60 fine which got me right up near 90 90 demerits out of the hundred that I was allowed to get so you know that was like the worst thing ever and it was big talk and everybody found out and it was you know big scandal you know lying about watching the rated R fucking movie little did he know that I was drinking with my buddies off campus I was hooking up with his fucking daughter like I was doing ten times worse fucking shit than watching a rated R movie past curfew and yeah and then I after that I ended up just quitting and leaving and then I never spoke to any of them again you know I had like two or three buddies I kept up with for a while and now I got like one friend that I occasionally talked to but uh yeah so Bible College was wild as fuck and back to the dating thing like the pickup lines in Bible College are fucking heinous I heard so many times these guys going up to girls that they wanted to date and their pickup line was I had a dream last night and God came to me and God told me that you and I are to be married and to have children and it's God's will you know it's like okay you're gonna sit there and fucking gas light the fuck out of them into marrying you and lying and saying that God told you that you two are supposed to be married to each other and so I heard that one a few times this one guy he was super fucking weird and he had like really weird eyebrows all I can remember is his fucking eyebrows and they were like angry eyebrows all the time but it was weird they didn't look real they looked like they were like implanted on his face like that but he couldn't get a girlfriend to save his fucking life he had never had a girlfriend ever so instead of just like you know like it is what it is I'll get a girlfriend eventually he he goes you know God came to me in a dream and you know there's a Bible passage that says the strongest men stay single and can stay you know and it's an honor to be able to be single and celibate for your whole life and I think you know I believe God is calling me to that I'm like dude if you can't get pussy you don't have to lie to everybody and tell them that God told you that you're not supposed to have pussy anymore like what in the fuck I think I ended up catching up with him on Facebook at some point now he's got like a wife and kids and shit and it's just like okay dude like you just had to chill just get a little social get used to talking to girls quit being a fucking weirdo eventually you get a girlfriend you don't have to swear off women forever when you're 19 years old and can't get a fucking girlfriend like Jesus Christ calm down but yeah it was wild as fuck and I got on it you know on the first year of college I was on the bright side you know and all of the staff and president I was friends with the president's kid dating the dean of men's daughter and I was like I was it's basically like a hierarchy like the king and queen and the Dukes and whatever and if you're in good with them you can get whatever you want so the first year I was well on my way everybody fucking loved me I could do whatever I want I was fucking chill everyone thought I was the man and never had any problems second year not so much second year I was on the shit list because one of them was I needed a job because I didn't have any fucking money I never had money I was broke as fuck I didn't even have a car my first year second year I got my car over there so I could actually get a job so I can make some money so I could like buy things once in a while you know I could buy some Dunkin Donuts coffee or buy some new socks or some shit like that and when I got there the second year and was looking for jobs they like strongly encouraged me not to get a job off campus and I was like why the fuck not there's no jobs on campus I'm not gonna be the lunch lady and I'm not gonna be a fucking janitor I tried to be a janitor for you guys and you fired me after like the second week I did it and they're like oh we don't want you hanging out with lost people we'll tear you know they'll tear you down bad influence blah blah blah and I was like dude Jesus literally kicked it with hookers and murderers and shit and you're gonna tell me that I shouldn't get a job off campus because it's bad but that dude literally hung out with the worst people on the planet he never hung out with all the you know religious people like how are you gonna tell me that like you guys read your own fucking book so being rebellious as I am like fuck you I'm working at this movie theater so I worked at this movie theater I didn't realize it was in the fucking hood it wasn't like the hood hood but like I was pretty much the only white person in that whole fucking movie theater there's like a couple white people I think but I was the whitest of the white people I was white and I was from Montana so I got real famous real quick at that movie theater because everyone's like oh you're the whitest boy ever you know and they decided so this movie theater was three stories tall but it went down to the ground so from the outside it looked like one story building but it went down it had like a basement and then another basement underneath the basement and it had like 15 screens 16 screens and so on the middle floor is Lux level so Lux level is like super nice cushy leather lazy boy chairs and you can order alcohol and food and it's like fancy date night and shit like that they're like all right white boy we're gonna put you on the Lux level you all you have to do is look handsome and nice you know basically like you look like a harmless person and you know rich people will be more comfortable around you at the movie theater and I got you know instead of wearing the blue shirts like everyone else did I got to wear a nice purple shirt and I felt pretty cool so now being from Montana back when I grew up it's it's a lot different now but back when I grew up and this isn't you know it sounds racist but it's not like they were just weren't black people in Montana I had like two and a half black kids my high school and they were from Montana so they were just as white as I was there's like two black kids and one like light-skinned kid and they're they were all from Montana so they were just you know just as white as I am so when I get to fucking Randolph movie theater and there's you know a bunch of black people that aren't white as fuck like I am from Montana I can't you know it's hard to understand what some of them are saying because I didn't understand the Ebonics I didn't understand like all the slang words like I was having a hard time understanding people like white people from Massachusetts let alone you know these people and so I might regret telling this story but this is literally just what happened and nobody got butthurt and everyone was fine with it and everyone thought it's hilarious and I'm still friends with these people I'm still friends with more people from that movie theater than I am from that Bible College and one of my buddies that's in this story I you know you can talk to him and he won't be mad at me at all but so he he worked on Lux level and this other chick worked on Lux level and they're both black and they both spoke and lots of Ebonics and stuff it's like slang whatever and so it's really hard for me to understand that they're saying and I was really trying and the guy just went off about something he went on some rant about something I literally couldn't understand anything he was fucking saying so I turned around to the chick when he walked away I said you need to teach me how to speak black because I have no idea what the fuck he just said and she was like rolling on the fucking ground causing a scene laughing her fucking ass off and I'm just sitting there like embarrassed as fuck like what the fuck like I don't know that I totally said that wrong like I'm sorry I'm not racist she's like I know you're not racist it was just funny as fuck and then she called the guy over there and told him what I said and he was laughing his ass off and they basically sat there and gave me like a lesson on what certain things meant and they were super fucking nice about it and I appreciated the fuck out of it because I was just like I don't know how to explain to you that I am literally from an island of white people and I don't know how you know I don't understand some of the stuff you guys say so they were super chill about it and it was amazing and I think about that night all the fucking time and they were so cool and I miss the fuck out of them and the guy I still keep up with him I'm friends with him on like tik-tok and Instagram and shit he's a fucking lawyer now he's killing it he's doing 10 times better than I am and he's a lawyer and he's smart as fuck and it's so goddamn impressive and I'm so fucking proud of him and you know maybe like he would definitely be one of the people I want to interview on this fucking podcast like I'm what I'm hoping is that eventually if I make enough money off this podcast I could feed it back into the podcast and I can fly people like him you know all expenses paid fly him out to Tennessee and interview him and talk to him about some of the funny stories from when we knew each other and hung out with each other and see where they're at now and I think it would be fucking amazing so hopefully we get to that point because I would love to fly that motherfucker out here and see him again but yeah when I got that job working there I used to go to their parties and shit and I wouldn't drink or anything but I'd go to their parties and I'd you know I'd walk in being one of the only white people in the whole fucking party maybe a couple white chicks but not a whole lot of white dudes and they'd be like ah this is our buddy from Montana here's Montana boy he's white as shit hey come here you know and I talked to him and they loved me but didn't win a whole lot of fans from that college because I was working at this place and so that was one of the things that pissed them off and then these people started telling me who I was allowed to be friends with you know they'd be like hey you know we'd really like it if you quit hanging out this person we don't like them it makes you look bad hanging out with them so you need to quit hanging out with them I'm like fuck you like you're not gonna tell me who I can hang out with and that's kind of like the second year was kind of the unraveling of me wanting to go to that fucking college because they started telling me that I could and couldn't do stuff because it made me look bad even though like that's this you know this the shit they teach in the shit they enforce they're so fucked up like nor in the Bible does it say that guys can't have long hair or ears pierced or like if you had a girlfriend on campus you couldn't even fucking hug them you couldn't hold hands with them you couldn't kiss them nothing you know you had to leave campus to do any of that shit and I'm sure if they caught you doing any of that shit off campus you'd get in trouble one of my exes that worked there or went to school there she used to work at Victoria's Secret and I was told I was not allowed to go see her at work ever because there's a bunch of women's underwear everywhere because God forbid I'm gonna sit there and jerk off in public to some bras like it was just fucking insane and it was just just the biggest craziest adventure that sucked and that was expensive like I regret paying the massive amounts of money I went to that fucking college because when I went to school there they're like oh yeah you know most if not all your credits will transfer to any secular college meaning that I could go to a university and my credits would transfer that was a big fucking lie because when I quit after those two years I went to the University in Montana and went to go transfer my credits and they're like none of them transferred none of them were accredited you get to start over at zero so it's like sick you know can't be gay but you can lie to people and fuck them out thousands and thousands of fucking dollars like fuck you guys so I don't know it was wild like all my best friends from high school all went to the military and did like badass shit and really you know kick-started their their lives as adults and didn't have a bunch of fucking debt and I went to Bible College and got fucking swindled out of thirty six thousand dollars and yeah it's fucking bullshit it was crazy but yeah that's my I got I still have so many more Bible College stories there's I could go for three hours talking about this Bible College if I wanted to on this podcast but I can't just dump all my best stories from it I got to sprinkle that shit in like salt bae so we're approaching our 40 minute mark like I said we're just going to do 40 minutes for now because I really don't have anything from the outside coming in to make more content more conversation I don't have anybody to interview yet I don't have any emails to read from you guys at all yet so it's basically just anything that I think of on the top of my head and then bunny trailing into other stories and shit like that so the episodes will get longer they'll get more interesting get more people in here more interviews more fun shit eventually we'll have a camera so you can watch a video I know I like watching podcast videos a lot more than just listening to it you know except for when I'm at work obviously I listen to it on just my headphones but yeah if you uh you know I like I said I appreciate the fuck out of all of my friends and anybody who listens to this first few and you know are bearing with me through my inexperience with podcasting and I really hope to win all of you guys over and have you love listening to these podcasts someday so that's the end of episode 3 thank you for hanging out with cockles of the heart my little cocklings and can't wait to see you next on episode 4 see ya