Episode #001_Pilot

The speaker introduces their new podcast called "Cockles of the Heart" and shares the story behind the name. They talk about their previous attempts at podcasting and how they faced challenges with technology and equipment. The speaker advises listeners to start with inexpensive equipment and practice before investing in more expensive gear. They mention their flexible approach to the podcast's content and express interest in doing interviews, discussing conspiracy theories, and receiving listener suggestions. The speaker also talks about their background growing up on a farm, their family, and their financial struggles. They mention their love for Budweiser beer and their plans to try different beers on the podcast. Overall, the speaker is excited about starting the podcast and hopes to improve their skills and connect with listeners. hello everybody and welcome to the very first episode of cockles of the heart sorry I'm still getting used to saying the name of the podcast I got a story of how I came up with it I'll tell you guys in a minute here but yeah very first episode I have gone through so much fucking shit and time and money and people to finally get this podcast going I think I started one to do a podcast like three or four years ago I was living in Boise my tick-tock was doing pretty damn good back when tick-tock was actually fun to make shit now I just get kicked off and banned all the fucking time so I don't really do it as much but I think it all really started you know every good every good adventure story starts with a little fucking trauma so long story short fiance fucked my best friend found out about it broke up and then you know my creativity somehow just soared and and got into all sorts of fun shit so cockles of the heart so it's if you're like me you have no idea what the fuck a cockle is let alone the cockles of the heart but so when I was trying to come up with my podcast originally supposed to be a couple of us and you know gain people lost people people fell off I move a lot you know shit whatever and I was just like you know what fuck it I'm gonna get one mic one set of headphones use audacity and I'm gonna start my own podcast by myself and so my podcast I was like you know I kind of want it to be like like like heartfelt you know a little bit of feelings a little bit of you know the inside of me inside of my brain kind of thing so I do I think I googled like synonyms to to thoughtfulness or something like that and I found the synonym of cockles of the heart and usually I guess the phrase is warms the cockles of the heart which doesn't make it any less confusing but basically a cockle is some kind of seashell which I don't understand that I've never seen or heard of a cockle before before I made this podcast up but the phrase warms the cockles of the heart is like a heartfelt warm conversation or warm felt feeling you know like every time I think of my grandma you know she really just warms the cockles of the heart so that's what I ended up coming up with and then the logo is pretty simple to make I just did a big heart with a rooster in the middle like cock but uh and I know it's gonna get a lot of shit because it looks like I just love cocks like cock heart whatever but I don't give a shit I think it's a dope ass logo hopefully if this goes on enough I can start selling t-shirts or some shit with the little logo on it and yeah super fun but enough about my cockles so this podcast goddamn dude I I have gone through so much research and buying shit and then not knowing how to use it just a bunch of fucking shit to finally get this podcast started so you know if you're thinking about starting your own podcast and if you're anything like me do not just go balls to the wall and pull a personal on to buy like three or four thousand dollars worth of equipment because that's what I fucking did and when it all came down to it I had two super nice microphones actually three I had two like personal ones one one for like a group of people I don't know why the fuck I thought that was necessary mic stands for all that shit I bought a mixer I bought all the cords and cables and shit like that and then I you know bought a used laptop and then figured out that all the equipment I bought does not work with the laptop I bought so I got pissed I didn't know what to do and so I just kind of shut down didn't make shit just sat there collecting dust and I eventually sold it to two redneck guys that were starting their own fucking podcast and the only thing I kept out of all that shit was the fucking laptop so after you know my bruised ego healed a little bit and now that I live out in Tennessee I ended up just buying a blue Yeti microphone and some $50 headphones and downloaded audacity and it seems to be working just fine so if you're gonna start a podcast just chill the fuck out go buy some cheap shit practice a little bit if it gets good and it takes off and you get some money maybe go buy some more expensive shit maybe hire a producer that knows what the fuck they're doing because I mean it still took me a couple days to figure out how to get this set up going and you know I'm not a smart guy to begin with but when you throw technology in my face I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing so yeah here we are cockles of the heart I don't really have a layout yet for the podcast or a schedule or anything like that so I'm just gonna fucking shit post fucking podcasts until I kind of get into a groove and then you know maybe a couple years from now I have a pretty legitimate professional scheduled out you know Mondays and Fridays for this long podcast but for now this is mostly for me more than it is for you just so I can learn how to use the equipment I can learn how to edit I can learn how to speak to myself with no response at all you know I'm thinking about throwing an email out there you guys can email some questions in I can answer them you know some life advice even though I don't have any good life advice I'll do my absolute best to help you out so doing some of that or doing sections like maybe I'll do like a conspiracy theory a week or I can do like I don't fucking know anything really like I am so flexible with this whole thing I don't give a fuck you guys have suggestions send them in we'll try them out we'll go from there you know hoping to do some interviews maybe someday maybe I'll start out by interviewing you know some interesting homeless people or just random ass people in my life or you know whatever like I said this this is a one-size-fits-all podcast we can definitely make it whatever we want to make it and hopefully it gets a little more or less confusing and we can figure this shit out together so what you just heard right there was a delicious 12 ounce can of Budweiser Budweiser is my go-to cheap beer drink if you know me at all on my tik-tok I drink them so often on every live that I was on and pretty much every video had some kind of Budweiser in there I was trying to get sponsored by Budweiser but you know they don't give a shit about me so I'm just gonna drink it anyway I was also think about trying a different beer every podcast given my you know recommendations on it or whatever but uh you know who knows we'll see I just got back from the gas station I bought some beers and I bought some scratch-off tickets and you know see if I can get lucky there I'm just chilling here and I moved to uh well actually let me give you my background story on my life because it's actually pretty fucking crazy it's really weird it's a lot of bad luck that I've pretty much made for myself you know I'll definitely own that shit but yeah I've been through some stuff and seen some stuff had a lot of good times had some real shit times but uh so starting out I grew up in Bozeman Montana I'm the second oldest of five kids got one older sister two brothers two sisters and my mom and dad lived in a little tiny fucking brick house on a farm kind of I mean we had horses and shit but it wasn't like full-on farm like live off the land it was more like you know we just were able to house animals that other people can't I mean we've had horses goats chickens dogs got a barn cat we've had fucking hermit crabs parakeets snakes a tarantula you know my parents were actually pretty dope with the pet area of our lives we we got away with a lot of shit and had a lot of weird pets and a lot of shitty pets so like I don't recommend getting parakeets when you see parakeets on a movie they're like hanging on your finger and they'll whistle at you and snow with it not our fucking parakeets our parakeets came straight from the depths of fucking hell these things were mean as shit if you tried to pick them up they just chomp on your finger and it wouldn't let go of your finger until you like set them down on the ground every time you walk past them they just flap like a bunch of psychos and just spread like like the seeds that they ate and like bird shit all over the fucking place so we ended up just throwing like a blanket over the top of it so they would show the fuck out and think it was nighttime I kind of feel bad because we never did anything with them but you know once once your pet bites you once right at the beginning you don't want to fuck with them and their sharp little beaks fucking suck and then you know my brother had a fucking tarantula that was creepy as you'd think it would fucking be the goats were actually pretty dope the goats were like more like dogs it was really weird they'd follow you around you did you know if you bent over they'd try to headbutt your ass stuff like that we named them Goaty, Oaty, Cody and Ted that was my idea Ted was my goat he was the coolest looking goat of course but uh yeah you know other than that it's just regular farm animal shit we were pretty broke growing up because my parents thought it'd be a great idea to have four kids and then accidentally have a fifth one but you know when your kids like if any of you were broke at any point you didn't know you were broke until you were like you know out of high school and then you're like holy shit like we reused fucking sandwich bags my whole life because we were so broke but I think it made us all a little a little better people we appreciate money a little more for my brothers and sisters it made them smart with their money with me I'm just an idiot with my fucking money obviously blowing a bunch of money on podcast equipment I didn't even know how to fucking use but uh yeah so we did that grew up on that little farm we're all pretty close still none of us none of us have died yet so that's good I'm the last person to get married even though I'm the second oldest my little brother just got engaged and you know we're all doing pretty well we all talk hang out whatever shortly after high school my family was super fucking Christian too like not as much my dad but my mom were Baptists so I used to go to like every church camp every Sunday service Wednesday service shit like that church camp I was like the only time that I ever felt like a cool kid because somehow I was able to get like a church camp girlfriend but I could never get a real girlfriend like back home after that I decided that I should go to Boston Massachusetts to be a youth pastor obviously if you know me now that did not fucking work out you don't know what I'm look like I have piercings all over my face both my arms are covered in tattoos I got knuckle tattoos so definitely not a not a church going kind of guy anymore so shortly after that I worked around 30 different kinds of jobs until I eventually became a plumber and then stuck with being a plumber for the last almost 10 years so not exactly my dream job but it makes decent money and you know I'm not smart but holy shit there's a lot of stupid motherfuckers that like to be plumbers so compared to them I guess I'm decently smart at you know being a plumber which isn't anything to write home to like my coolest job was I used to climb cell phone towers which is dope as shit it was scary as fuck it was super hard work and I did it for 14 bucks an hour which is a complete fucking ripoff so that job was cool as fuck you know I'd tell people and they'd be amazed and show them pictures they'd be more amazed and they were you know you know I got pretty popular just off the fact that I climbed 300 foot fucking poles and then after that I became a plumber and then nobody really gave a shit about what I did for work anymore but you know whatever it was fun but so did that fuck yeah I'm gonna have to learn how to not I gotta learn how to transition from subject to subject my brain just takes a shit I had all this stuff in my head when I started and then it all just went out the door as soon as I hit record but uh so yeah now I'm a plumber a superintendent for a company out in Nashville Tennessee so I moved to Nashville for multiple reasons but probably one of the biggest ones is that it doesn't snow here and if it does it's for a couple days and we don't have to go to work because everyone is absolutely terrified to drive on any kind of snow or ice out here I mean I got sent home last year early because it was raining really hard which was unreal because if you if you've ever been to Montana or lived there they don't give a flying fuck if it snows three feet overnight like you better get your ass to work and you better be ready to work when you get there like I remember like being late to school a couple times and that was only because the snow drifted up against our front door my dad had to basically dig a tunnel all the way to the fucking car just so we could go to school and so not a huge fan of the snow you know everyone's like go snowboarding go snowmobiling you don't realize how expensive that shit is especially snowmobiling like you got to have a truck a trailer you got to pay for the fuel for that thing and you're gonna fuck that thing up all the time so you got to be able to fix it if you want to go on more than one trip every winter and then snowboarding is expensive where we're at over there it's like a hundred and twenty something bucks for one day pass just to freeze your dick off and get up early in the morning on your day off so I kind of stopped doing that shit and so other than that there's not really much to do in the snow and the cold except for get drunk and bitch about how cold it is which is kind of where I found myself and you know there's not unless you're like super duper outdoors there's not really a whole lot of fucking things to do out there like they don't have comedy clubs the only concerts they get are all country and I fucking hate country music and you know they don't got Dave and Buster's they don't got Topgolf they don't have any of that shit they got a lot of bars breweries dispensaries and then you know the fucking wide open wilderness but so Tennessee is nice and hot and humid which I can get used to that I'm just chug water I'm a skinny boy so I can I can handle the heat it's not a big deal and you know the people are fat as fuck down here but I'm learning to adapt to that monstrosity you know I don't I don't hate fat people but fuck man there are some fat people I do not like you know they I won't go into it I'll go into it a different time yeah it's kind of a big culture shock everyone's pretty nice out here kind of you know there's bugs for some reason ever since I was a little kid I just love bugs I love big-ass bugs I like how fucking weird they are and how many different shapes and sizes that's like my one childhood thing that I have brought with me in my adulthood was an obsession with looking at bugs like this year they're supposed to have some kind of cicada breeding season where there's gonna be like millions of cicadas everywhere and they're fucking huge and they're like archaic as fuck looking and I'm kind of excited to see it I'll probably hate it once we get to the middle of it and like the fascination wears off but it's supposed to be starting sometime this month it's like once every seven years or 13 years or something like that like two or three different breeds of these cicadas all like come alive at the same time and it's like fucking chaos and you know I don't know when your life gets as boring as mine is you look forward to weird shit like bugs being everywhere but yeah so but yeah so far I fucking love Tennessee I don't know if it's gonna be my forever home necessarily but I do I just like that you have so many options to do shit like you know it's it's like country central but they still have like dope-ass rock concerts and stuff they got comedy clubs out here that I need to start going to I've wanted to do stand-up comedy for like a long-ass fucking time but I haven't had the courage or like the time to go do it like I know like if you really want something you'll make time for it but fuck man I get up at four o'clock in the morning go to work work all day and you know it's gonna be hard going from working your dick off sweating your balls off in the fucking humid deep south or whatever mid-south whatever you want to fucking call it and then go upstage in front of a bunch of people that might just fucking hate you because you don't make them laugh so I'm working towards that slowly but we're gonna start with a podcast just so I feel like I got some kind of hobby I'm working towards and we will go from there so one of the ideas that I had for this first episode was I haven't had social media in like months and I don't like my I use Safari on my phone to Google shit so I don't see any of like the news articles or anything like that so I was just gonna Google what the top story in the news is today and see see what it is see what's happening in this world and I swear to fucking God if it's some kind of like something about fucking genders or racism or something that's that's not that's important to like point zero two percent of the fucking country that's actually dealing with it personally I'm gonna freak the fuck out all right so I just googled top world news story today we're gonna click on US news see what it is so we got Ukraine King Charles and UK Royals to relinquish dozens of patronages I don't have no idea what the fuck that is and I don't even know why the fuck that's top news like we didn't whoop your ass in the fucking Revolutionary War to still give a fuck about what the fuck you guys are doing over there on the other side of the fucking pond especially King Charles like that dude's gonna be dead in like two years he looks like shit he's like him and Biden should have a boxing match they'll probably both end up fucking dying and not even swinging a single punch at each other but you know cancerous foods to avoid okay so it's pretty much everything everything gives you cancer these days Democratic lawmakers tell Biden evidence shows Israel unrestricted Gaza aid don't care Israel has briefed US on plan to evacuate Palestinian civilians ahead of potential Rafah operation Jesus fuck do something more exciting let's see let's see exiled Chinese businessmen's chief of staff pleads guilty in US to fraud okay yeah never mind let's scrap that fucking shit I mean I'm not gonna go back and edit it out but you can see why I don't give a fuck about the news it's all shit that it's like okay but like is it something that's actually serious this is something that's actually gonna happen here am I still gonna have to go to work tomorrow yeah okay then I don't give a fuck about what's going on you know and then the best part of why I I'm not putting on my social media at all until like well into 25 because it's election year and all election year is is people shitting on each other and people getting pissed at each other and I really don't have a fucking dog in the race as far as that goes I'm not Democratic or Republican and I really don't study either one of those things because it's just boring as fuck and there's not really I mean you're choosing between like the oldest craziest looking fucking dudes and I just can't believe we got stuck with them but uh you know I don't know I think politics are boring as fuck people that love to argue politics like giant red flag like I don't want to be anywhere near you because like not like I don't mind listening to it but if they try to involve you and try to get you to pick a side that's something like yeah you know I don't want to hang out with you guys anymore I'm gonna go sit at the little kids table and I'm gonna ask them what their fucking favorite kind of bug is yeah I don't think I'm gonna do a news segment part of my podcast I don't even know why the fuck I thought that'd be a good idea I've just never been one to be like I want to see what fucked up shit is going on on this planet and then not only do I have to be depressed by seeing all the fucked up shit going on I have to think like they're probably fucking lying anyway you know you can't trust anything anybody ever says anymore it's fucking insane everybody's got trust issues everyone's got abandonment issues everyone's got super duper mental illnesses I'm pretty sure I have a couple of them but I've never been to the doctor to go see what mental illnesses I have just because I don't think I want to fucking know like what is it it's not gonna fix it like oh yeah we can give you medication and drugs to fix it it's like I don't I don't like I already I could barely handle myself where I'm at right now and I kind of like myself and if I take a drug that makes me into a zombie or a different person like I have literally nothing to offer I'm not big and strong I don't have a big wiener I'm not strikingly handsome I've got humor and I'm kind of funny and I'm kind of cheery and that's all I got left and if I take some kind of fucking medication that you know makes me want to kill myself and I get diarrhea or I die or whatever the thousands of side effects are then like what the fuck is the point you know so I just I'm just gonna go on medicated I'm just gonna go on not knowing what ones I have I'm 99% sure I have ADHD I've taken like a million online tests to see if I have it and not only do I have it but I have like a very extreme case of it so that's like that's all I need to know I mean it's probably some bullshit test anyway but you know I mean I could see the signs I can see the signs but uh we'll just go ahead and stay away from medicating myself I think I like raw dog in life I think it's kind of fun makes a little more interesting so I mean I'm gonna live like our ancestors did and just believe that there is no such thing as mental illness like if you're weird or there's something wrong about you you have emotional distress you're a fucking witch and we will burn you that's that's kind of where I want to live at so I don't know I got an email address set up but I don't know if I'm gonna use that one to get the questions from you guys so I can kind of interact with you get to know some of you whatever the fuck so I'll set something up I might just do a patreon I mean I made a patreon it's gonna be like a dollar a month because I'm not trying to make money off of this shit I'm just trying to get good at it and have fun with it and you know hope we get a few followers and have a good time so I'm not I'm not trying to fucking get rich or anything off of this so it'd be like a dollar a month you can ask questions relationship advice comments or just be like what do you think about this you know please know like like political things or religious things those will drive me fucking nuts and I will not read them but uh you know the relationship advice don't take it it's not it's not gonna be good relationship advice I don't know what it is but every time I'm like single people ask me tons of relationship advice and I feel like they almost want me to say like just break up with them just so they can be like all right you know Reed said so I'm done cuz he'll tell me shit like I had this one guy in Idaho and he had like seven fucking kids and a wife and I don't even know if he was even 40 yet and he's like man my wife she just bitches at me all the time sunup to sundown phone constantly going off she's mad at me and bitching at me you know what should I do and I'm like like freshly single just got out of a really shitty engagement and lost a friend over it and lost that stupid bitch and so I'm like why the fuck would you ask me like I have no advice I don't have kids I've never been married but what if you're gonna ask me advice I'm gonna give you some it's just not gonna be the advice you expect so I'm like all right man here's the deal dump that bitch get a divorce and he's like well I don't want you know I got kids what about my kids I said fuck your kids they're just gonna hold you back leave her the kids leave her whatever shit she wants you won't need it because you're gonna go to Vegas and you're gonna use all your money to buy hookers and cocaine and you're gonna live your life out and then you're gonna realize how stupid your little arguments are but you're gonna be a free man no kids no wife and just tear it up do as many drugs as you can before you die and he's like dude that's terrible advice I'm like why in the fuck would you ask some guy you barely know that's younger than you that's never even been married never had kids and just got out of a shitty relationship like what the fuck did you expect me to say so but so that's the kind of advice I give so feel you know feel free to ask me relationship advice but it's not going to be anything you know serious or you know whatever I mean maybe maybe but probably not but you know I got I got little tidbits of advice here and there like red flags if she's got a fuzzy steering wheel cover stay the fuck away from her I don't know anybody that wants any of their stuff covered with hair like I get like a like maybe a bear rug maybe or like an alpaca rug you know those are nice but like a fuzzy steering wheel fuzzy seat covers extra points if it's fucking cheetah print anything stay the fuck away if they dye their hair super bright ass fucking colors like I shouldn't have to tell you this it's pretty like widely known thing they're fucking crazy they dye their hair every time something super traumatic happens there's actually a lady there's a lady I work with that has super bright ass colored hair I hope to fucking God she doesn't listen to this because I'm pretty sure she already fucking hates me but she was bitching at me the other day and I told the other guy I was like you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna piss her off so bad that she changes her hair color like that's when you know you really like traumatize the fuck out of somebody's and they re-dye their hair so we got that one my one of my favorite ones if she's had more than two last names stay the fuck away from her because obviously she's been divorced twice already so at that point it's it's just a fucking they're just hunting for sport they're just trying to convince as many dudes as they can to marry them so they can divorce get half their shit and then move on to the next poor bastard you know claiming to be a victim in this and that and whatever you know and I'm not shitting on people that are victims of stuff but if you have 15 relationships where every one of them ends with oh he abused me it's just like okay like I don't I seriously doubt every single one of them did like my ex for example when you know we split up I found out she's fucking my buddy I didn't go around telling everybody like she cheated she cheated I was just like you know what it's whatever it's not gonna fix anything I'm just gonna move on you know but if people ask me I'm like oh well she fucking cheated on me and so word got back to her people were shitting on her for it and she started telling people I used to abuse her and that's why she cheated on me so first off if you know me you know that's a fucking lie I'm a pussy like I leave my doors locked and I don't go out at night I've never been in a fight in my life ever which is that with how much shit talk I do I'm actually surprised I've never been in a fight I've almost gotten a couple fights but never been in a fight sure as fuck never hit a girl and if I did hit a girl that would probably would have been a like if I was gonna ever hit a woman ever at all it would have been the moment I found out she was cheating on me still didn't do that shit so you know a lot of people believe her but most people saw right through her shit and then I read yeah right like that kids a pussy there's no fucking way he would hit you you know and then the story changed oh well he's emotionally abusive it's like okay like relax like you just cheated because you're fucking stupid but you know whatever move on so other advice I just came up with this one the other day so I've actually never done this before but I think it would be funny in this book and I feel like it would actually help a lot as long as you don't find out that it was advice that you heard of but you know if you ever if your girl ever suspects you of not being loyal or not thinking she's hot mostly just just intentionally get caught jerking off to one of her Instagram pictures don't even pick like a super hot one you know pick like a regular ass picture of her fully clothed you know cleavage put away and just get caught like ferociously beating your meat to that shit and she won't fucking never doubt your love for her so I've never tried that out so it might not work out they might just think you're weird as shit or you know I might just open up another can of worms of problems but if any of you decide to do it let a motherfucking know because if it works I might just try that out for myself but other advice let's see let's have another drink of this beer here you know I want to co-host to the show so bad but I just can't find anybody I've been I've been living in Tennessee for over a year I still haven't made like any friends like of course I get along with my co-workers and we're friends quote unquote but not really anybody that I would hang out with outside of work I hung out with one guy outside of work and it was fun as fuck and I loved it but I don't know we just I don't know I haven't asked him to hang out again I don't know I just have a hell of a time making friends and like the older I get the more I care less about having friends I'm to the point to where it's like man it's nice not knowing anybody I can sit at home and play Xbox and jerk off and drink beer and not have to go anywhere I don't have to worry about anything I don't have to remember any of you know hangout appointments or any of that shit I could do whatever I want watch whatever I want you know so less stress when I was back in Bozeman I was partying and doing copious amounts of alcohol and other things and I had fucked tons of friends and I always was getting my phone blown up and everybody wanted to hang out and go to the bars and this and that which was fun as fuck for about four years five years and then after a while I was like bro I paid rent at this apartment that I'm never fucking at because I'm always passed out on someone's fucking couch or up all night sitting on someone else's couch watching stupid YouTube videos so now that I don't nearly drink as much as I used to and I don't do I gave up a lot of other things I just like I kind of just like sitting in my apartment and being a vegetable but but then I also bitch about not having friends so I don't know I gotta figure something out so hopefully this podcast reaches some other like-minded individuals whose cockles want to be warmed by me. We could have a dual podcast and then there'll be less dead time it'll be less of me talking the whole fucking time and I can have you know stupid conversations with them and shit like that so I guess send this out to anybody in the Nashville area and see if we can't strike up a couple podcast interviews and see if we could start a podcast together so but I think for the starter I'm just gonna we'll call this the pilot episode this is like the the getting to know my equipment and figuring out how to do all this shit episode so like I said it's a little bit more for me than for you guys but yeah we'll probably just do 40 minutes that's a good start I'm probably just gonna bang out as many episodes as I can whenever I have time for now after a while get some followers some viewers some downloads I'll be a little more exact on when I do shit you know like Mondays and Fridays or you know Sundays and Wednesdays you know something like that and I'll bang out some more episodes so I'll probably just start out with four or five do my big launch share the fuck out of it on all my social media I'll have to download all of my other shit and try to navigate people from my personal accounts over to my cockles of the heart account and set up an email set up a little drop box whatever the fuck I don't know I'm still researching some of this shit and then I will post it all over YouTube Spotify Apple music whatever I can do I don't know I still got to research that shit too and we can see where it goes but um yeah I'm I mean I'm a wide open book I used to be super duper Christian now I'm super duper not I got crazy Bible college stories that I have so many crazy Bible college stories you have no fucking idea I got tons of super funny stories of when I used to build cell phone towers I mean I got funny high school stories I just like my whole life has just been about having fun remembering shit telling the stories and it's it's always been you know it hasn't always been the best of times but I've had a pretty damn good fun life so far with a little sprinkle of a little trauma a little bit of betrayal a little bit of fuck you you know so maybe eventually I'll get my first fist fight that'll be a great day you know I've almost got I'll tell you one story so I remember I was at the bar and I think the reason why I didn't get in a lot of fights is you know in high school I was a super duper small kid so I'd make friends with other kids that got bullied but they got bullied for being big kids so I always had this this like the Pied Piper kind of thing over Giants and so I had a bunch of big scary friends when I used to go to the bars all the time and ran into some chick I went to high school with known her forever gave her a big fucking hug guy she's with I guess was her boyfriend's buddy he's like hey man you better not hug her like that that's my buddy's girlfriend I was like fuck you I've known her longer both of you I'll do whatever the fuck I want you know I was pretty drunk and confident and he's like oh yeah you want to sit you know you want to take it outside whatever wanted to fight and I was like yeah let's fucking go dude and then out of nowhere he's like you know what man I'm sorry I'll leave you alone you have a good night I was like yeah that's right walk away bitch as he's walking out the door I spin around and three of my biggest blackest friends and if you if you ever been to Montana you notice that there's only white people there so I had the biggest blackest friends in the whole city standing behind me and I was like fuck you guys I was about to get my first fucking fight you guys have to scare him away I totally had it like obviously if I'm struggling a little bit you know help a motherfucker out but god damn it like I was so close to getting my first fucking fight I think I would have had him and they're just like oh we wouldn't let anyone fuck with you you're like our little brother man we didn't want to see you get hurt and I was like god damn it like yeah you're right I probably would have got my ass kicked but yeah that's that's literally the absolute closest I've gotten into a fistfight so I don't know what it is I don't know how I haven't gotten in fights I mean I'm a pretty nice guy especially when I'm drinking I'm nice and you know I talk a lot of shit but it's shit that you can also laugh at I very rarely talk shit to somebody and actually piss them off or offend them so you know it's like a little superpower I have like I can't fight you with my fists but I can I can make your stomach hurt from making you laugh I guess so I don't know maybe this podcast will get bigger than I thought and then I'll have every motherfucker around being like I want to be your first fight and then everyone's gonna want to kick my ass but you know I guess we'll see someday but yeah let's let's just wrap this first episode like this I'm gonna listen to it make sure it doesn't sound all fucked up or anything and hopefully I don't have to edit it or change it too much and I can save this and hopefully get four more podcasts in stack them together and then make the great launch of cockles of the heart so thank you all so much for listening I hope you really enjoy my podcast because I'm I know I'm gonna enjoy the fuck out of it and see if we can see if we can do some great things with it so anyway have a great night I'll see you on the next episode