2021 12 05 Ugly Words

The speaker welcomes the audience to Highway Christian Fellowship Online and continues a series called "Ugly Christmas Sweater." Last week, they discussed the importance of avoiding ugly thoughts. This week, they focus on the use of ugly words, emphasizing that words have power and can either build up or hurt others. The speaker encourages the audience to play a word association game and highlights the impact words can have on our thoughts and emotions. They mention the importance of using our words to honor and respect others, as well as the need to control our tongues. The speaker refers to the book of James, which warns about the damage our speech can cause and the need to control our words. They provide practical ways to control our tongues, such as considering if what we are about to say honors God and the person we are speaking to. The speaker emphasizes that our words should reflect the joy of Christmas and the love of Christ. They encourage the audience to use their words to en Hello and welcome to Highway Christian Fellowship Online. I'm Chris and so glad you are here. Last week we started a series called Ugly Christmas Sweater and you know during the Christmas season too many of us find ourselves being as ugly as the sweaters we wear to Christmas parties. Last week we discussed the need to steer clear of ugly thoughts. If we're not careful ugly thoughts lead to ugly actions and have a tendency to hurt others and ourselves. Today we're going to be talking about our use of ugly words. So it's very easy to say unkind and ugly things to one another without really thinking about the impact our words have. And the thing about ugly words is they have a tendency to stick with us. But God wants us to use our words to build one another up. Words are powerful. I want you guys to play a little game with me here while you're at home. Maybe you can type in the chat. I'm going to say a few words and I want you to type in the chat and talk with the people in the room with you about what word comes to mind. A little word association. Okay so what comes to mind when I say these words? Okay so here's some of the words. We've got snow, hot chocolate. I'll give you a moment. Christmas lights. How about... you guys ready? Here we go. How about eggnog? This one's going to get controversial I think you know. Okay how about mistletoe? Give you a moment. Okay so each and every one of these words evokes a response of some kind. Maybe it's joy, snickering, maybe it's disgust. You know I know a lot of people don't like eggnog. I love eggnog personally though. Seriously try some eggnog in your cookies or your coffee. It's really good. So words carry meaning and it matters how we use them. Our words hold a lot of power. You guys have probably heard that before. This concept is one that shows up often throughout the scriptures. The book of Proverbs consistently references words and the mouths that use them. Proverbs is full of practical wisdom about how we can honor others in general but also with our words. So Proverbs 18 21 we find the tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit. You know God gives us an incredible responsibility in the way that we talk to one another. Our words hold the power of life and death. How we speak to one another can be life-giving. A lot of us probably right now can still remember positive and negative words. Unfortunately the negative ones often seem to stick with us longer. But the people have told us as we're growing up maybe parents, teachers, coaches, pastors, youth pastors, whatever it may be, things that people told you have a tendency to stick with us for better or for worse. We can say things that give life and we can say things that can bring about death. The truth is many Christians have a tendency to overlook the simple truth that our words hold power. It's during the Christmas season too when we're surrounded by friends and family and maybe we don't always get along with some of them that we can do some real damage by saying something very hurtful. Maybe we don't even mean it but maybe we don't really think through what we're about to say. We have to be intentional to think through our words before we say them so that we can avoid ugly words that are going to stick with people. Now this doesn't mean we avoid sharing the truth or difficult things that need to be said. Too often the reaction is to go all the other way and never say the things that need to be said because of the potential of hurting someone's feelings. But I know we can all agree there is a positive and a negative way to convey the truth to others and too often we use the phrase, well it's true, to excuse ourselves from saying things in a hurtful manner. In the book of James we're given extensive warnings about the kind of damage our speech can cause. James is addressing the early church as they were learning how to interact with one another and ways to help move the cause of Christ forward. Everything we're working towards to be undone with careless words. Let's check out James chapter 3 verses 3 to 6. Now if we put the bit into the horse's mouth so they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ship though they are so great and are driven by strong winds and are still directed by a small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire and a tongue is a fire. That very world of iniquity, the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body and sets on fire the course of our life and is set on fire by hell. So James teaches us in order to stop using ugly words we need to control our tongue. There are multiple examples of large things being controlled by small items here. We talked about a horse and the bit, talked about ships being controlled by a rudder and we talked about how forests can be set ablaze by a small spark and we definitely understand that one out here in BC when forest fires are not an uncommon thing and we know the devastating damage they can have not just in the direct areas where the fires are having but with the smoke that is going you know over the other areas and I know I'm sure we've all had different times where we have experienced you know damaging words that somebody said to someone else maybe someone you care about or a co-worker or something like that and you hear that interaction spills over to a negativity that affects you too so our words don't just have an effect on the initial people we're speaking to but on the incidental hearers, children, passers-by, our neighbors when we're arguing with each other and they overhear it both kinds of things. So I want you to think for a second how many times have you received an email or text or phone call or even just had a difficult conversation and somebody says something that makes you angry and how many times have you immediately shot back in frustration you're ready before you've even finished reading that email you're ready with an answer right you know slowly I'm learning how to take time before I respond to situations like that and I'm nowhere near having this all together but we're all in process in this but when I take time to consider what I say I'm able to control my words and keep from causing harm or causing the situation to escalate you know one of the best things in those situations when you have to have those tough conversations with somebody is bring someone else into the conversation beforehand say hey look this is what I want to talk to someone about it's a rough the tough conversation to have am I being level-headed and let somebody else kind of shine some light and then be patient back with them if they have things to say critiques that maybe you didn't want to hear so without restraint our words can lead us into deeper conflict need to put a leash on our lips James 3 7 lifts off all of the animals that have been tamed by human beings but it's quick to say that controlling one's tongue is much more difficult than controlling an animal it says for every species of beasts and birds of reptiles and creatures of the sea is tamed and has been tamed by the human race so when uncontrolled our words can be evil and full of deadly poison controlling our words it's not easy it's not something that we can do on our own we need the Spirit of God to empower us there are a few practical ways we control our tongues and it's it's a grid to run your words through so number one ask yourself well what I am about to say honor God you know the true test of our words is the way they reflect our Creator we were made by God to be agents of love and we have a choice in participating in that purpose or reflecting our Heavenly Father are we reflecting something much worse or reflecting just our own general opinion so number two what well what I'm about to say honor the person I'm saying it to right is it just about honoring you know God and what you think or is it honoring that person as well honoring someone else means that we express respect and admiration in the way we speak to them we can ask ourselves how we might receive these words if they were being spoken to us how we treat the creation says something about how we feel about our Creator because they're a reflection too number three well what I'm about to say be something I'll regret if we can lay our head down at night not wish that we could take back something we said that we've been choosing our words wisely or we're just not very self-aware one of the two that's another component of that but ugly words sometimes cause damage that cannot be reversed we're wise to ask ourselves these questions in order to control our tongue because our words hold power the reason our ugly words are such an issue during the Christmas season because this time of year is meant to be a celebration of the birth of Jesus and the joy that he brings to us as his followers Christians are meant to be a representation of his joy joy to the world peace on earth right but we sabotage it when we speak carelessly there James goes on to address this in chapter 3 as well starting in verse 9 with it we've left our Lord and Father and with it we curse men who have been made in the likeness of God from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing my brethren these things ought not to be this way does a fountain send out the same opening both fresh and bitter water can a fig tree my brethren produce olives or a vine produce figs nor can salt water produce fresh each year Christians all over the world attend Christmas services and sing hymns about the greatness of God they light candles and sing silent night in churches to celebrate the birth of Jesus why then do many of us turn right around and say ugly things to the people around us James believes this is a problem that we need to address he says we cannot have it both ways you cannot say you love God while cursing your brothers and sisters the people that God created as a spring cannot have both salt and fresh water as a fig tree cannot produce olives Christians cannot be so hypocritical to speak out of both sides of their mouths the words we use can be a window into our hearts they reveal our need for God to transform us Luke 645 says a good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of maybe the place that we need to begin in changing our ugly words is actually a healing inside of us sometimes we speak out of a broken heart and it causes us to lash out at others that an expression that I've heard many times that it's so true it hurts people hurt people so people who are hurt often hurt other people so we have to take an honest look inside ourselves to use our words to speak life and to others it's not going to happen by accident it's not going to be just I want to be positive now and it flows out it's going to be an intentional choice moment by moment it's going to take practice I want to speak from a heart in love with God and in love with his people I want to allow an overflow of passion for Jesus to be the reservoir for my language the first place we see this is in our closest relationships when our hearts begin to lean toward Jesus we will see the worst wars our spouses friends our enemies and our children change to reflect his love better in conclusion this Christmas I want to invite you to use your words to encourage others and lift others up may the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ touch your heart in a way that's evident in how you speak to people this week and through this whole Christmas season take a moment and let the Lord bring someone to mind who could benefit from some kind words this week you know we don't always know what's going on behind the scenes with other people and their lives you might be the only person who said something kind of that person this week this month is a year it's been a hard year so take a moment ask the Lord who can you encourage today make the decision this week to encourage them whether it's a phone call a text a handwritten letter or an intentional coffee make time for it this week and if you're feeling worn down frustrated scared confused please ask God to fill you with love joy peace patience gentleness grace mercy and hope it's been a tough year guys it's been a tough two years if I'm honest I'm anticipating it's going to be another tough year ahead but regardless of what things can be tough on the externals you know that in our hearts God is with us let's go from an outflow of what's inside of us and let's fill ourselves again and again with the Holy Spirit so that that is what comes out of us rather than speaking from the circumstances around us we can choose today to make the best of what we have and to express the love of Christ to others through the words we choose let's pray guys Heavenly Father it's been a tough time it's been a tough couple years now Lord with everything that's going on in the world Lord and sometimes it doesn't feel like it's getting any better Lord but at a time when things were astronomically worse in the world in a place where oppression was so extreme Lord you came in human form as a baby and as the most vulnerable born in a manger for us so that one day you could die for our sins Lord fill our hearts overflowing with gratitude today and let us speak from a place of love and gratitude when we interact with those around us whether they be your children or whether we're praying for them to become your children one day help us to reflect the light of you this Christmas season and always in Jesus name thanks for being with us guys God bless