China Airlines

China Airlines is offering a special opportunity to bring American operatives, or comrades, back to Beijing. They will have one-way flights during the Year of the Dragon celebration, with flights numbered 88-88 for good luck. They welcome their comrades back from the United States, which they see as crumbling under capitalism. China Airlines delivers state secrets on every flight. Once in a generation does an opportunity like this arise. We at China Airlines have heard Nancy Pelosi's call to bring the comrades home. With a special proclamation from the great state chairman Xi Jinping, we are obligated to bring our American operatives, or comrades, home. Beginning on the celebration of the Year of the Dragon and continuing for 15 days after, we will have weekly one-way flights directly to Beijing. These special flights will be 88-88 in honor of the New Year, and good luck. We welcome our brothers and sisters home from the decadent and backward ideals of the United States, which is currently crumbling under its own weight of the capitalist disaster. From the great Guojia Xuqi and us here at China Airlines, 欢迎回家同行,恭喜发财! China Airlines, delivering state secrets every flight.