joey5

Joey Leonard, also known as Average Joey, returns to his podcast after a two-week break. He talks about various things, including his hope of entertaining listeners and giving advice. He advises a friend not to be worried about ejaculating too quickly during sex and suggests strategies to please his partner. Joey also mentions his interest in doing custom metal work and his experience with skydiving. He shares a story about a recent skydiving trip where they couldn't jump due to bad weather. Here we go, Episode 5, Season 3, Burn Barrel, with your boy Joey Leonard, aka Average Joey, Average, Average Juey. Nothing to talk about tonight, just had to get back in the swing, had to get back in the pocket here because it's been about 2 weeks since I came in here and talked to myself for 30 minutes in this room, it's weird not having a guest on your podcast sometimes and sometimes I think is this even a podcast or is this just you talking for 30 minutes and then, call it the Burn Barrel, this is Episode 5, Season 3, welcome back, welcome back, I'm glad to have you here, glad to be here with you, it's been a long couple of weeks, I'll tell you that much, I have missed being in here because it's like I hate getting back into the swing and then getting out of the swing, getting back into the swing and getting out of the swing, but when you do a lot of shit, when you got a lot of shit going on, that's what happens sometimes, you get into the swing and you get out of the swing, that's just the way it be sometimes, thank goodness for energy drinks and caffeine though, I'm a big fan, anyways, I hope all is well in your world, the Burn Barrel, you know, us getting on here and talking about a whole lot of nothing, I always find myself watching back, you know, I used to not watch back the podcast, but now I watch them back just to make sure I didn't miss nothing or whatever and make sure the audio is lined up and all this and whatever, but I think to myself always, I'm like, man, I really hope that I give somebody something on here, I hope they have a good time listening, I hope it passes the time point, I'm like, man, you know, I enjoyed listening to that, I missed hardcore on my last podcast, not going to lie to you, I had too many edibles, I was all fucked up and let me fix my chair, anyways, I was all jacked up and I couldn't handle myself, I couldn't handle my shit and I, last podcast is just me being inebriated off of edibles, neither here nor there, my buddy, he said to me, I was on the phone with him on the way here and he said him and his girl got into a little bit of an argument, I said, man, what are you arguing about this time, always arguing with his girlfriend, he said, man, you know, I got this thing where I bust too fast and I said, well, what? And then, you know, he's like, I got this thing where I bust too fast, dude, and it's like, you know, gets on her nerves or whatever and I was like, well, you got to tell her right away that that just, it's just because that shit's good, that's all and he said, no, man, it's really a problem and I told him, I said, it's really not that big a deal because, you know, I like to give advice to people because I have no business giving advice to people, so this is something fun to do and I'm like, man, it's not that big a deal that you bust too fast, you know, and there's a reason why, it's because we can see it, we can see it, they can't see it, all right, now, they got to just use their imagination and you never know if they're, you never know if they're thinking about somebody else, I'll ask, I will interrupt the session and ask, hey, I see you over staring at the wall, what are you thinking about? You think, you think about me, right? Like, or like, you think about letting the dogs out? Like, what's for dinner? Like, you better be thinking about something that has to do with us, like, you better not be staring over the wall because they can't see it, so they're not, they're not as excited as we are, there's no doubt about that and so just take it easy on yourself, man, just do more, do more, do like I said in the, you know, I told him about the, you know, about the last video I made about, you know, he asked me if it was that real and all this and that or whatever else, would I, would I get mad if my girl had a dildo and I said, dude, first off, if you get mad if your girl has a dildo, she'll probably go and buy three or maybe even 10 inches, I mean, and don't do that, don't get mad, you gotta get, sex is, I'm not a sex therapist or anything, but it's one of them things that you have to get in there and play with it, you gotta get in there and you gotta, you gotta get in there and give it your best effort and if your best effort is not good, you better, you better get, you better get to the bathroom, muster up some courage, wait your little 10 minutes or whatever science it is, because I think the science behind it is like, you know, 10 minutes or something, the blood pressure, get back up and you get, some, some people are blessed, they can keep it going, some people take blue chew, I don't know, I'm just saying, get back in the game and please your lady, don't be mad, don't leave her thinking, because if you just give up, that's being selfish, okay, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta do things, do more foreplay before you get in on the action, again, I'm no sex therapist, I'm not trying to turn you on or turn you out, I'm just telling you, don't, don't, don't give up, I understand, it's got, first defense, hey man, that thing's good, I don't, I don't know, tell you that never happens, it always happens, anyways, don't, don't beat yourself up or do, actually, beat yourself up before, that way you don't have one in the chamber, you know, do it strategically, the time, you gotta do it, the time, you gotta do it right before, you know what I mean, then that way, you know, because everybody knows that, that second nut's a little tough one to crack, so, you know, you do it, the timing's just right, you can't go in there with the, because if you, the timing's off, you'll end up with a limp noodle and you won't be able to do nothing, so that's a dangerous gamble there in itself, to unload the chamber before you get there, but, you know, hey, it is a move, it's a move, it's a valid move that people make, oh yeah, so, again, talking about a whole lot of nothing, the burn barrel, I don't know if the audio is tracking or if it's not, I always have audio issues, because I don't fucking know what I'm doing, one day, I'm gonna have like a team or something like that, somebody that I can trust to just get in here and fucking get this shit done, because your boy don't know how to fucking do it, I'll be in this motherfucker just stupid, don't even know what to do, I'm gonna turn this on, turn that on, line these up, line that up, and I mean, I do, I give it my best effort, and sometimes it does good, sometimes it don't, but we out here, we out here just doing our best, been working on this little metal ceiling all week, fun thing about that is, if you know, you know, but I was in a little bit of a pickle, I was in a little bit of a pickle in a situation, one situation of many situations in my life, where it's like, hey, you better figure this out, and ended up working off some debt, and then did the metal ceiling this week, the metal ceiling thing about that is, I haven't done that shit in probably about, I don't know, five, six years, something like that, and when I was out there working, I've been working the past few months, I've been doing, you know, carpentry work, and framing, and painting, and just whatever, demo, and clean outs, and anything for the money, just to get to the next point, because hard work always pays, but doing the custom metal work, man, that shit is fun, dude, made me think to myself, I might, just on the off season, when I'm not skydiving, and doing comedy, which is fucking never, I mean, I'm always doing comedy and skydiving, so I really don't have the time off myself, this figurative time that I'm talking about, I would like to think that I could go and do some custom metal work, that shit was, I like it, I like it, it felt good, it felt real good, and it felt good to pay off some debt, always talking about debt on here, because, you know what, I've lived most of my life in debt, because I'm strategically making moves, wanting to keep going forward, forward, forward, forward, forward, and always having to pay off some debts, but again, we pay to play, weather's been dog shit, past few, past few days, if you're a skydiver, so there's that, we got to do one skydive the other day, and then the day after that, we rode the plane up, I've never rode the plane back down without a parachute on, that's never happened, and then the other day it did, I remember we were at about like 2700 feet, now if you don't know anything about the skydiving, skydiving, it's fun, but every single jump for me is not the same, but I have the same kind of process to where I get myself ready to go out that door, no matter what altitude I jump, sometimes I jump from like halfway up, about 5000 or 6000, and sometimes I go all the way up to 14,000, depending on what I want to do, and getting all ready to go, and you want to be safe, you know, make sure you check the spot, check the winds, check all that stuff, just make sure you end up in the right spot, because essentially checking the spot is like where you, you look out the door when it's open, and you say, hey, am I in the right fucking spot, you know, and then that calculates how much time you have to fall before your parachute fly in, you know what I mean, it's all calculation of time, so if you go out way too far, obviously you can't make it back, because of the altitude, anyways, neither here nor there, I don't got time to explain that shit, I don't even fucking know what point I was trying to make out with that, but because I started thinking about getting out of the wrong spot, but nevertheless, 2700 feet the other day, I ride the plane back down, because when we get to 2700 feet, all we see is clouds, and I was like, holy shit, this is actually pretty dope, like this is pretty sketchy, I like this, this is pretty, are we gonna jump in this, and then I seen the light turn, you know, yellow, that means door, get the door, and I seen it turn green, and I'm looking outside, and I'm like, motherfucker, I'll open this door, and I look back at the SNTA, and I'm like, hey dude, is this good, and he was like, no, it's not good, Joey, and so we didn't get to jump, because the clouds were too thick, we tried to, you know, find a hole or whatever, and that's the first time I was like, man, I never, that never, that's never happened, so, but it was still pretty awesome to be up in there in the clouds, like looking down, being like, oh, we're gonna jump out of this shit, this shit's gonna be fucking dope, because I mean, I'm not gonna lie to you, I can't, I'm not supposed to tell you that I've jumped through the clouds before, because that's not what you do when you're, you know, you got a sea license, and you're skydiving, because by that level, you're not supposed to be jumping through clouds, but at the same time, clouds move quick, is all I'm saying, clouds move quick, and sometimes they get under you real fast, and you're like, oh, there's a cloud, gotta follow through it, because you're not a bird, you're not, you're not a birder or stuff, but you can't just fly, you can, I mean, you can flap your wings, but you can't just go fast, like, so you, sometimes you gotta go through, you gotta go through the cloud. Anyways, fun times, rode the plane down, been doing a lot of skydiving, I got this, I got this thing that I started, it's called OSS, I started it with a buddy, and we're taking veterans skydiving, we're gonna teach them how to skydive, do 25 skydives, and get them their A license, and we're about to pop that off, like, pretty direct here, but I'm gonna get my AFFI rating, like, I got 410 jumps now, 411, not 410, I got 410, I was about to do 411 the other day when we rode back down, but gotta have 500, because I don't have my coach's rating for a whole year, I've only been at it, you know, for about half the year, you either have to have your rating for a year and 360 jumps, or you have to have 500 jumps, you know, in totality, and then also a coach's rating, and then you can move on to the next level, which is AFFI, it's Accelerated Free Fall Instructor, that's where you take somebody who doesn't know anything at all whatsoever, and you teach them how to skydive, so I'm gonna do that, and then incorporate that with our program, OSS, and basically we'll just travel around to different drop zones, and, you know, people that we've gotten to our program, and stuff like that, we'll get them at a drop zone local to them, so they don't have to do all this traveling, or whatever, we'll travel, go to them, get them set up with AFF, let them do their first seven jumps with an instructor there at these drop zones, and then either we'll coach them, or we'll set up some sort of coaching program, and or I'll come and do the AFFI, you know, as long as drop zone approves, stuff like that, but there's going to be a bunch of training involved in that, so while I'm going to be doing a lot of stand-up, because I do got a lot of shows coming up, everybody knows comedy doesn't pay that much money, so you better have something going on, and every skydiver knows that skydiving costs a lot of money, so you better have something going on. So you either better be working, or doing something crafty, and I've very much enjoyed bringing skydiving to anybody, it's not for everybody, you know, it had its luster in a different light when I first started, when I tell people about it, but now I like, you know, now I enjoy it on a different level, like as I coach people, I train them, and stuff like that, and I get it, because basically that doesn't mean I know a bunch of shit, that basically means I'm just not learning, because I learn a lot when I'm teaching motherfuckers how to do it, you know what I mean? They're like, hey, take these people out on this jump, do this, do that, and you're like, damn, okay, I will, because you know how to do it, but you just like, it's, you know, it's a little bit of pressure, but the fun time about instructing somebody and training them to skydive is, it's a pretty fucking badass job, so we're going to just do the whole thing for, you know, soldiers, veterans, specifically with PTSD, you know, recovering addicts, people that, you know, stuff like that. Skydiving is skydiving. We like to have fun with it. Anyway, so, they go into the gym pretty regular, they go into the gym pretty regular, not that that matters, but I got to talking to a buddy the other day, he said, hey man, you should start taking some gear, you know, you're 40 years old, you're about to be 41, you should start taking some gear, and I said, hey man, nope, two reasons, number one, pretty sure it fucks you up in the long run, there's a lot of hard work goes into it, it makes you look stacked, it makes you look good, chicks love it, but simply, I'm pretty sure it's not healthy. Number two, can't afford it, I cannot afford that, what, are you trying to hustle me, trying to sell me some shit, I can't fucking afford, I cannot afford that. So, I just do it natural, it's taking me a long fucking time, I'm about 200 pounds, and I've been 200 pounds or 205 or 195, somewhere floating around that for the past two years, depending on what my diet is at the time, and I didn't realize, you know, there's, there's one way you can do it with taking some gear, so to speak, but you have to put the work in, or it doesn't really work, or you can take three times as long and do it natural, but I've been starting to get some pretty good results, man, I've been having fun with that shit, and feeling good doing it, knowing that I'm still gonna fucking die, you're like, damn, why are we doing this, but it's just like, it's about tying your shoes with, without, not, you know, running out of breath, I remember that, that was me a lot, so I was like, you know, I look, I like that, but I had to cancel my, I'm telling you all this, because I had to cancel my gym membership, and I'm getting a new one at Madhouse, back where I used to work out at, I would go to the door over here, to Breedman Health Club, not to name drop, place is all right, the people inside are all right, but like, the key card doesn't work all the time, and they're like, oh, sorry, we're closed for the weekend, we'll have to get back to you on Monday, and you're like, hey, motherfucker, I'm not trying to wait till Monday to get this shit in, so I had to cancel, I canceled them, I texted them, I said, hey, just cancel the whole shit, and I'm sure they're like, hey, yeah, yeah, whatever, dude, you're a creep anyway, because I mean, I'm not a creep, but I go in there in the middle of the night, when nobody's in there, and it says on the thing, don't take your shirt off in the gym, and of course, I take my shirt off in the gym, I don't like go work out, like with my shirt off, because there's awkward angles, we all got titties, and moobs, and shit, that hang down, I don't want to, you know, when we walk in, seeing that, but I'll go in there, and stand under that perfect light, though, and be like, oh, oh, you know, and do the thing, or whatever, and I blame it on the pre-workout, makes me feel good, so you get that pump, I'll post it online, and then take it down hours later, the next morning, they'll be like, oh, you're an idiot, but it feels good when you're doing it, it takes three times as long with no gear, though, and diet, the diet is the huge important part, you gotta, not working out for two weeks, if your diet's off, you get less strong, I went in there to do 250 the other day, normally I can do about, you know, 250 about three or four times, which ain't a lot, but that's a lot of weight, and I went in there the other day, I couldn't even get it off the bar, I was like, what the fuck happened, because I took two weeks off, almost, I took like 12 days off, 11 days off, and my diet was shit, I wasn't eating protein, I was eating a bunch of junk bullshit, just getting by, and then that your body eats your muscles, and all that bullshit, you know how it goes, you know, whatever, but getting a new gym membership at the fucking madhouse, we're gonna do that, skydiving season's about to start, full-on, right in the middle of comedy season, and you're asking yourself, what is comedy season, comedy season is all season around, if you're popular, and you know, got a lot of shows, I don't get fortunate enough to have a whole piss load of shows yet, but it will happen, because I've done a lot of shows, I just, I mean, you got to stay booked to really do the thing, but with the skydiving, and the comedy, and stuff like that, I'm gonna start incorporating it too, I'm gonna start doing a lot of shows, where I skydive into the show, I'm gonna try to set that up, and do a lot of shows, where I skydive into the fucking show, somehow, somehow, because I've already done two of them, one of them was a bad, it was badass, but I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do more of them, and try to do more of those motherfuckers, bring as many people skydiving as I can, do as many shows as I can, because one day, we're gonna die, that's what I know, my buddy, my buddy Blaine, I've been seeing my buddy Blaine hit the gym here lately, actually, he's been hitting the gym a lot, but you know, tell him stuff, like I'm proud of him, whatever, because I am proud of the motherfucker, because he's working hard, he's working real fucking hard, right, and he was like, oh, you know, you motivate me too, brother, brother, blah, man, you're really living life, I got to thinking about it, I was like, damn, you know, the reflection on that is like, it's costing me a lot of heartache, time, and money to live this life, that it looks like I'm living online, but that's not, I'm not doing that with anticipation, and that's not what I'm trying to do, I am trying to skydive all the time, I am trying to do shows, I am trying to hustle merch, and stuff like that, I am absolutely going for it, but I got to thinking when he said that, man, if that's how it looks, that's cool with me, because that's exactly what I'm doing, I'm living life, and I recommend that you do the same thing, it's gonna get fucking treacherous out there, it's gonna get edgy, you know, going for your dreams, getting your ass up, going to the gym, eating right, eating good food, staying dedicated, staying focused, I think that a lot of it comes with age, you know, the older you get, the less likely you are to put, you know, put up with some bullshit, even within yourself, but it's important to go for it, it's important to get that, get that mustard out the jar, and start spreading that shit out around, you know what I mean, putting it on everybody else's sandwich, let them taste you, let them taste that, what you got to give them, what you got, everybody has a gift, everybody has a gift, everybody has a gift that they, that they can offer somebody else, I don't give a fuck, and you got to find that gift, and you got to keep on giving it to people, man, you know, didn't work out for John Holmes, uh, you know, but like, worked out pretty good for Billy Graham, Joel Olsten's killing it, I'm just saying, go for what you, go for, go for what you, what you want to do, because every single fucking day that you're sitting around, and you're telling yourself, I'm going to go for that soon, wrong answer, dude, what you'll find out is, if you, if you think you're going to go for it, and you're going to have this strategic time behind it, you know, oh man, I'm going to wait until this time to go for it, what you're going to find out is that it wasn't the right time, now you probably should have just went for it when you had the thought, so you need to put yourself into a habit of trying new things, and not being afraid to fail, because if you're afraid to fail, obviously, even, what are you doing, but get yourself into a habit of getting out there, and trying it, and getting after it, and then going for it, and embracing exactly who you are, sometime before you die, there's talent in you, that you have to release, you were born, you were born specifically, at a specific date and time, in a specific location, as a specific gender, in a specific race, so to speak, specific color hair, specific color eyes, to a specific family, whether it was good or bad, you were, all this was for a reason, so you have to tell yourself, when you're asking, what am I doing out here, I don't know what I'm doing out here, shit ain't working out for me, I hate it, I'm making all these bad decisions, I just can't get it right, what is your best, what is your best, what are you best at, what are you good at, and then fucking attack that, just do it as much as you can, and as possible, as much as possible, if you're good at sales, get out there and do sales, if you're good at hard labor, get out there and do hard labor, if you're good at fucking making shit, like crafts and shit, do that, if you're good at building shit, get out there and do that, if you're good at being a media influencer, or whatever the fuck, get out there and do that, don't be caught up in some bullshit, that you made, you know, for yourself, the pile of shit you made for yourself, be all wallering in it, and being all like, I can't get out of it, so stinky, go for your, go for your fucking dreams, by God, by God, by golly, because if you don't, then like I said, you must be fucking not chewing Big Red, fuck you, man, I love when people, they don't know how hard I fucking struggle, and I sit around with no money in my pocket, and shit like that, because I put every dime into everything that I do, and I don't have an actual steady stream of income, and it's hard to just keep fucking trying to go, because what you're trying to get at, if you want to, if you want to be a duck, you got to walk like a duck, talk like a duck, all right, now then, what I'm, what I'm doing is strenuous, I hate it, I love when people tell me that they're proud of me, hate it when people tell me that they're proud of me too, because I'm always like, man, fuck, I don't deserve that credit, but we out here digging, digging, digging, digging, and digging deep, going in debt, pissing people off, making people mad, making a lot of others happy, trying to figure it out, if you, if you fuck something up along your process here, also, I'm going to tell you this when you're going for it, if you fuck something up along your process, and you feel like you've lost, lost a friend, or something like that, or you had to do this, you had to shed some of this to do that, or whatever else, just don't worry, it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay, if you, if you have to do that, if you, if you have to make that move, you'll, you'll be okay, and they will be okay too, you know, we'll all come back around, just keep focused, and, and, and at some point, no matter what it is that you got going on, just make sure that you're, you're, you're being a good fucking person, now, text messages to my ex, when we're mad at each other, aren't going to say that I'm a good person, but if you ask the general people that see me on a day-to-day basis, I'm, I'm a pretty good person, I try to be a pretty good person, I have fucked up a bunch of shit, the process is that I keep putting myself in, I fucked up a bunch of shit, as they are for you, and I'm sure they have for you, but try to be a good person, always, and, and keep, keep fighting, keep fighting, and keep killing that shit, oh man, you know, it's hard, it's easy for you to say, it's easy for this, no, it's fucking not, dude, I am absolutely faking the funk, faking it until I make it, life is hard for everybody, so don't beat yourself up about that part, man, you can't, I can't go for my dreams, I'm held down by my process, well, cause zero money to go for your dreams, it costs money to buy your dreams, which you realize, you can't just buy your fucking way into your dreams, it's gonna take some hard fucking work, who dreams about easy work, they, you, you always dream about something great and something big, something awesome, it's gonna take fucking work to get there, you know what I'm saying, gotta get in that, gotta get in that, that strainer, let it put that squeeze on you, and let them juices, get them juices out there, embrace who you are, you are somebody, if you're fucked up, you're that, but you can be unfucked up too, just stop being fucked up, you know, you stop being fucked up, then bam, it's over, they fuck up again, then yeah, you've done it again, but look, you could just stop being fucked up, however you see that, I fucking love you guys, man, burn barrel, episode five, season three, went by quick, went by quick, got in here jibber-jabbering, running my yapper, had, like I said, absolutely nothing to talk about, just wanted to connect with you guys, that's the end of the energy drink, it's 10 37 pm, can't go to the gym, because I fucking canceled my membership before I had a backup plan, lost my cool and canceled my membership before I had a backup plan, so now I gotta go home and do fucking push-ups again, but I will tell you this, I've been doing 200 push-ups every other day, 200 push-ups is not a lot of push-ups, but once you start doing the fucking 200 and you start having to count, you may or may not add 20 or 30 in there, but I mean, at like every set, you're like, oh, I think that might be 200, when you really only do like a, 100, we make the ugliest faces when we sneeze, I don't know why I just sneezed, maybe I just got sick all of a sudden, oh, I hit the vape and I still had a little bit in the canal, if you hit the vape and you have a little in the canal, you'll sneeze, you'll sneeze on them, these fucking vapes, I quit smoking cigarettes thinking that was going to be it, and then here we are with the fucking vapes, ordering the coconut juice, don't want the coconut banana, I'll be in the store ordering the coconut banana, I'll be in there like manly as fuck, wearing my work clothes, tattooed up, people probably think I'm a fucking criminal, some levels I am, and then I'll be like, hey, I want a coconut banana, juicy bar, please, Abdul, that'd be great, and he's like, oh, no problem, I got you, I got you, my friend, and then he slides it to me, he opens it up all awkward, he says, test it before you leave the store, test it before you leave, he says like this, try it before you leave the store, no refunds when you leave, because they think when you leave, you're going to walk back in there with the old one and be like, haha, I mean, and some people will, some people will try to finesse the system, yes, but it ain't me, I come in here, I'm a regular shopper, you don't have to do that every time, Abdul, you don't have to open it and tell me, because I don't want you to put your dick beaters all over it, I don't need you to put your mitts all over my vape, I'll do it, right here in front, I'll do it, or I'll just gamble, I'll just leave, now, I have done that, too, and left that motherfucker with a fucked up vape and been like, son of a bitch, I should have let Abdul open that motherfucker, go to the little shell down the road from my house, she keeps a little razor knife on the side of the damn register, she'll whip that motherfucker right open and hand it to you and be like, here, try that before you leave, because you ain't come back in here trying to finesse me, anyways, got to quit vaping, I hope you guys have a good fucking week, I am Joey Leonard, I'm on a mission to fucking be a good person within myself, to my standards, I hope you are as well, I hope you get something out of these little podcasts, I hope you have a good time this week, work hard, work hard, work hard, work hard, don't give up, don't give in, don't give up, don't give in, motherfucker's gonna try to test you, shit's gonna change, shit's gonna suck, you're gonna be broke, you're gonna be tired, you might be rich, you might be fucking making it, who knows, don't give up, it's always an option, don't fucking do it, I love you guys, this has been the Burn Barrel, and we are the fuck out of here, hold on, let me press stop and stop, I gotta press stop and stop, stop and stop, bye.