GOOD MEN AND WOMEN-EPISODE 20 SEASON 3

Nate and Shelby discuss what makes a good man and a good woman. They believe that a good man should not be abusive, faithful, and working. However, they also emphasize that being a good man goes beyond these basic standards. A good man should be a leader, protector, provider (not just financially), and have a vision for his family. They also emphasize the importance of following God and seeking wisdom. They acknowledge that society's standards for a good woman are often more complex, but believe that both men and women have important roles to play in a relationship. Hey, welcome to Word of Mouth podcast with Nate and Shelby. We are back in the building and it is a great day. Yes, look at your neighbor and say it's a great day. Okay, look at your other neighbor and say it's a great day. What it do, Shelby? Nothing much, how are you? I'm all right, how you feeling? I'm dandy. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. In Jesus' name, yes, you are. Amazing, wonderful, fantastic, awesome, anointed, powerful, mighty woman of God. All right, hey, listen. How are you? I'm good, I'm good. It's a beautiful day. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. Listen, man, the Holy Spirit has been speaking in so many different ways, so you got to excuse me if I zone out because I'll be hearing some stuff and I think I'm turning into Shelby. Because I hear something, I'll be like, what just happened right there? All right, listen, I want to start this conversation off by saying, and here's the only disclaimer that I have. Yeah, we always talk about men and women, so we hope that no one get offended. We ruffle your feathers a little bit, take your tips off your shoulder, and understand that this dialogue is only opinions that we have, and we try to make sure that we add the Word of God into it. So please do not think that we have all the facts. We don't. We're given our opinion. Because this conversation today is going to talk about men and women. And y'all do know that Shelby's a woman, right? And Nate is a man. So we'll get both perspectives as we dialogue today. And I think it'll be a pretty good conversation because the question is asked, what is a good man? And. Wow. Whoa. Oh, my God. We just plugged that one in there right there. What is a good man? That was good. That was good right there. And what is a good woman? Ladies, if we had a song, what a woman, what a woman. We'll put that one in there, too. So we're going to talk about what is a good man? What is society? What is standard or status quo have said a good man is or a good woman is. OK. And we do understand that it's some scriptural references that give examples of good men. Also, it's a whole chapter has given to women of a good woman. So we want to talk about it. And. Yes. OK, so I'm going to say why we're going to talk about it, because in the last podcast, I believe that you said something to the effect of if they ain't beaten on you and they. I think you said they're working if they're working. But what I'm going to say, if they ain't beaten, if they ain't cheating and they're working. Is that a good that qualifies them as a good man, according to society? Hmm. If they ain't beaten, if they ain't cheating and they're working, does that qualify? All that we require of men to signify them as being a good man, quote unquote. That's a really good question. So I guess we're going to start with men today. But yet the laundry list is very long for what a good woman is. According to society. Well, it depends on how you look at it. Hmm. It depends. I want you to start first. You know what? What? Yeah, I want you to start first. OK, so what is. In what you just said, that's the qualification, if he ain't beaten, if he ain't cheating and if he working, is that considered a good man in your eyes, that considered a good man? Well, I think that that's the bottom level of standard for a good man. I think we could make it a little tougher than that, because I think those are general things that should not be going on in a relationship. He sure as hell better not be beating you. There ain't no excuse for that. He sure as hell shouldn't be cheating either. I mean, hey, keep your stick in your. Anyway, and everybody has to work nowadays. Yes. Even if you were not with someone, you still have to work to provide for yourself. So. Yes. So I think those are very substandard standards. Should that be it? Hell no. OK. Tell me some other things that you think a man, especially as men are listening, a man can hear from a woman that we can also carry to meet or to. You know, get a woman. Well, I think that a man needs to be the leader. There it is. Which means to be a good leader, you have to be led by God. So you have to know him having a baby over there. What do you do? Yes. Come on with it. Come on. I'm trying to be good. Be the protector. Now, when you say protector, sometimes and I'm speaking for men now, sometimes men can get that misconstrued and they think, hey, if I got 10 guns in the house, I got a bat by the door and I'm working out every day. Is that enough of a protector in which you're talking about? That's that's a facet of protection. Yes. The physical protection is important, but you have to protect the heart, the mind. The spirit. Come on. We don't talk about this. Come on. Come on with it. You have to protect the security of the family. You have to. And I'm talking like financial. Yes. You know. Yes. You have to protect the moral fiber of your family. You have to protect their relationship with God. I mean, there's a whole lot that goes into just that one aspect of protection. But, yeah, I have to be a good leader has to be a protector. Has to be a provider of not necessarily because I think we get provider all into the oh, he can be the only one that's the breadwinner or whatever, and that's not how it is in our society anymore. Well, I will personally say, why do the provider have to be or subject to be financial? Because when you provide something, you don't have to be just money. Right. And I think that's where we get confused, too, because more women say, man, you got to be a good provider in my house. OK, I got a job. So you went back to that three again. Yeah. I ain't cheating. I ain't beating. I ain't beating. And I'm working. So when you say provider, give us more emphasis so we can understand what you mean by provider, because I thought me having a job is providing. That's another. That's a part of the aspect of it. But you have to provide a soft place to fall. You have to provide. This woman teaching. We're going to get on the women in a minute, but you're teaching right now. Come on. You have to provide. An environment that's peaceful. And that goes both ways. There's a lot of this that women have to be partakers and providers of to get to the women. Yes. You have to provide a safe environment. You know where where your woman feels safe with you when you're one on one, when your woman feels safe with you, like the vulnerability can be there, all of that stuff. Yes. And, yeah, providing for the home in certain instances, in certain form and fashion, whatever you guys decide is the way you're going to work it out. But, yeah. Thank you for clarifying, especially the providing. Stability. Yeah. That's so good. Thank you. We we are men are kind of one way. Seers. If you say provide vision. Thank you. Don't be don't be honest now. Don't out us like that. Well, no, you focus on. We do. We do. We focus. But we have one one area that we focus on. So if you say provide, you know, first thing I think about is, man, I got to make sure that I'm bringing in. That part that I'm supposed to bring in. That's that's all we think about. We don't think about providing an emotional, stable environment. We don't think about providing peace for the home, for the children. We don't think about providing that space where even your children should be able to come to you, talk to you, interact with you, have that time that they can see that this person is leading in a way that Christ led the church. Right. And I think that men are also they need to be the strength. And that comes into the physicality of it, as well as they need to be the strength in the leader. They need to be the solid one, because women tend to have to be the more emotional nurturing side. But the men have to be the ones that are going to say, no, this is this is what we're going to do. This is how we're going to do it to a certain degree, because someone has to lead. And if you have two leaders in the house, that doesn't work. And if you have two followers in the house, that doesn't work. My mom told me a two headed person is a monster. That's true. She preached. And I got that as soon as she said that's good. So I get it. Two heads, man, create a who, but then two tails, too. We'll talk about that later, but it's what you just said. And that's why we want to have this kind of dialogue, because in the providing aspect, we need to provide that kind of strength, that kind of support, that kind of peace. The Bible says this is in Genesis. Joseph said something so powerful. He said, as for me in my house, the word my is a pronoun. He took ownership. Right. He took ownership and said, in my house, everybody, we will serve the Lord. When he took that, that completed not only the protection, but the providing everything to that magnitude. When he made that one statement, he took it out of content. I think if people and I'm not just saying men, but if people in general would understand how God laid it out and we would do if we would follow God, all of it would fall into place. We wouldn't even have to think about it. It would be naturally occurring. But because we're so caught up in this world and we're not following him to the nth degree, that's why we get sidetracked, distracted, all that stuff. Well, that's the glitch, though. You're telling me to follow God. It is. You're telling me to follow God, but I didn't have direction. Right. We don't teach our men how to follow God. Yeah. Churches don't teach our men how to follow God. We're talking about men now, ladies. We're going to get to y'all in a minute. But we don't have that direction. That should be an excuse, fellas. I want you to know. Don't let that be an excuse to where you just stay. This is the ghetto part of me. Stay a sap or stay a punk. No, you can. You can put your big boy drawers on and you can go get knowledge. Yeah. Only the Bible says he will like wisdom. Let him ask for it. If you want some knowledge and some wisdom on how to become that and what God has called you to be. Go get it. Who's they going to ask? Donate. Go get it. Go grab a book. Go grab a book. That's the problem. It's sad, but. I have a lot of people to ask right now. I know. I'm just saying. You know who told me how to be a gentleman? I'm going to be honest. Someone said on the mic who taught me how to be a true gentleman was a pimp. On the corner. He said you never let a woman open her door. You never let a woman. Isn't that just wow? Ironic. Yes. A pimp told me how to do that. Dang. You never do the never let a woman take out garbage. Like I was like, okay. He knew that, you know, I was the only boy in the house, but he would like tell me these things and I was like, okay. Okay. And as I got older, he would be like, good job. Good job. Because I would carry the bags on my mom would come from the grocery store. I'll run down and get the bags for it. And he was like proud of me for doing it. But he taught you a huge lesson. Yes, he did. Yes, he did. While he was abusing it on the other side. I didn't say a preacher. I said a pimp. I know. I'm like, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. No, why are you sorry? Because that just shows that you can learn from anybody, right? Yes. Yes. I think that we have the misconception that we only supposed to get it in the four walls. I think we have that misconception, especially being taught how to be a man. But are you talking about the four walls of home, the four walls of church, four walls of school, which ones? Four walls of church. Four walls of church. Our direction of how to be husbands and fathers and stuff, I thought was the direction that you get from church. As a husband and as a father, I thought I had to get that from church. Right. But church, did it give it to you? No. Right. No. It did. And I'm not picking on the church. I'm trying to point out a weakness. That's what I'm trying to do. It is a weakness. That's why when you said, man, that's such an amazing thing because we have subject it to be only one entity. No, you can get it from anywhere. Right. But you have to have discernment too. Yeah. And that's where that comes in because the pimp could have told you a lot of things that you don't need to know or you shouldn't have been living like. Right. Right. Right. That's just, that's, wow. Yeah. God uses everybody and anybody. And everybody for anything. Right. I can use a rock. Don't let a rock cry out in your place. Right. So you're right. I've got a few more questions about men, man. So when you say protector, do protector fit in the category of, let's say, if I had to talk to the realtor, if I had to talk to the lawn service, if I had to talk. Like, am I fitting the protector role? You're talking about like head of household type thing. So what's the difference? Thank you for saying that. What's the difference between a head of household and a protector? I think they kind of work intertwined, honestly. But I do think the man needs to be the head of the household. And because biblically, we were talking about earlier, Adam was given the authority. Right. So he has the authority. The man has the authority. Now, he's not supposed to abuse that authority, but he has that authority. So, yeah, I think if, you know, I know life is busy and things like that. And men aren't always at the home to take care of things. But I think for the most part, they should step up and take care of leading the household in that manner, dealing with outside services or whatever. Because that is part of protection. Yeah. So. You're keeping an eye on who's coming and going and what they're doing. Okay. And keeping an eye over your peeps. Yeah, in the house. Right. So protector and head of household will be considered in the same category. I think that they interweave with each other. I don't know that that's the same category, but I think they interweave. Okay. Because, I mean, you can add provider and head of household. Well, yeah, they all kind of fall under that. Yeah. One. Okay. Subject, I guess. All right. Or title. Over time, and this is the question that I personally ask Shelby, we have had numerous conversations about different things, especially pertaining to men. And I have heard Shelby speak very vividly about certain things when it comes to men. And one of the things that I've definitely heard you say, and I went home and I did a Michael Jackson moment. Like I had to talk to the man in the mirror, and I had to ask him to do some things. Because sometimes, and I know this, fellas, a lot of us wasn't taught how to be vulnerable. And I've heard you speak very, very stern about that word vulnerability when it comes to men. A lot of us like that. And I guess I'm asking. You haven't been trained how to do it. No one's shown you. That's my question. Like what happens when we don't know how to be vulnerable? You require that, or women require that. I want to put a caveat in there in that vulnerability with men has to be a protected vulnerability. It's not just a vulnerability where you're out showing it to everybody in the world, right? Because the man has to be the leader. He has to be the lion. He has to be the protector. So you can't show vulnerability to the lion. Otherwise, you're going to get taken out, right? And then you've got no protector. You've got no provider. You've got no leader, right? So when it comes to vulnerability with men, it has to be with the safe person that you have. And that's where the vulnerability needs to stay. And she has to respect that and protect that vulnerability. And that's her duty. So I'm not saying that you need to be vulnerable to the whole world. I mean, you can for sure if there's times where you feel like it's going to help someone. Because you've lived something that they have or they're living in right now. That's kind of your testimony, right? You have to be able to be vulnerable in those moments. Let's say with your buddies or whatever. Or if there's a young one that you're mentoring or something like that. There's going to be some vulnerability required. But what I usually discuss or what I'm pointing to more when I talk about vulnerability in men is that they have to have a safe place. Gotcha. To fall. Gotcha. And that leads into women. Yes. So I'm going to pass the mic to you. I've been talking the whole time. Well, I mean, of course, I've been asking you questions. So feel free to ask me anything you want to ask me. Because this is a back and forth type of thing. And I really want to give my perspective on some of the things. Because women think that, I'm going to say it how I feel it. Women think that if you've got a nice physique, and if you have a nice physique, and basically if you have a nice physique, that you're a good woman. You mean a good man? No. Women think, maybe I go to the gym too much. But women think that if they have these certain body parts, that they are good women. Oh, oh, oh, I see. I thought you were talking about they were looking at men and men were just, okay. We are women now. Well, okay, because we all know that men are visual, and we have talked about this. We have. Right. So I'm going to put it out there. It goes beyond your body parts. Thank you, Jesus. It's supposed to. 87% of men look past just the body parts. Body parts, they make a difference. That gives me hope. Amen. It makes a difference, it does. However, I do need you to at least know one plus one. At least tell me what's the first book of the Bible. Now, this is just small things. However, don't think that that's just it, because you're getting this physical part, because that physical part will fade one day. Okay, but if our societal norm and our societal standard is, if he ain't beating, he ain't cheating, and he's working, then he's a good man. Why is she going to think anything, that he's any deeper than that? Why? Why? Yeah, from a society standpoint, I really don't know. I mean, because you're only given that. And women are, it's drilled into women that their form and function is an outward appearance quite a bit, right? It is branded on women. Women think that, can I tell you something? I don't care if you get your nails done. Well, everybody has their particulars. Everybody has particulars that they like or they don't like, and it doesn't, you know. Right. I feel like sometimes this world has put out so many things that you may think that a male is looking at, and we're not. Like, can I be honest? Lingerie is cute, but it ain't going to stay on no more than that. In the last 30 seconds. Man, it's cute, though, on the mannequin, because I see it visually in my head on you for five seconds, but that's it. So you're like, oh, I got to go to Victoria, and she's telling you a secret, and her secret is I'm going to get that money. Cha-ching. Because it's going to stay on you, like, literally all the time. Yeah, but okay, but there is some fun in that, so we're just going to, I mean, if that's your thing, then that's your thing. There's people out there, that's their thing, and that's all well and good. But I think that I don't want – my whole thing is I don't want our women to think that if he ain't beating, he ain't cheating, and he's working, that qualifies him as a good man. Right, right. Because there's a laundry list of what's expected from women to be a good woman, aside from being a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Go on. Shut me up right there. That was really good. Right? Yeah, that is right. But she's got to cook, she's got to clean, she's got to raise kids, she's got to have an education, she's got to work a job, she's got to – the list is much longer, I think, for women than it is for men. Sometimes, and that's kind of something. So what's a good woman, Nate? In my eyes? Well, you're the only one that can answer that for you. I mean, you can only answer for you. This is my answer, ladies. Oh, ladies, you better listen, because this is the cue to get off the island. Ladies, this is my answer. A good woman knows herself. Oh. She is for sure in her identity. I would agree with that. All those other ones are assets. If you can cook, amen. If you can clean, I mean, amen, because there's stuff I can do. I can cook, I can clean, I can do all these other things. I mean, your physical appearance, I mean, that's cool. But I mean, it's about 20 of them matching that. So I don't want to make it just about your physical, because if it's all about your physical, then once someone is nice standing next to you, I'm looking at both. I'm looking at all three. I'm looking at all six. So it can't just be about physical. It can't just be about you cooking, because somebody else can cook a banana pudding. I just don't. Banana pudding's just, ugh. You don't get off my back. I don't get the whole thing on banana pudding. Listen. That's some good stuff. But a good woman, man, to me, is for sure who she is. That's so attractive to me when you really know who you are, and you're not moved by the status quo, by what people tell you that you have to be, or even you comparing yourself to other people. Now, I know that comes hard at times for women, because comparison is everywhere for women. It's not even that bad for men. I mean, we compare sometimes, but do bruh, do you. I'm going to do me. I mean, there's no comparison. I see some guys with big arms. Yeah, I'm going to go and get mine bigger. Of course, and then you get bigger, so I'm going to go get mine bigger. But that's about it. We're not doing what the women do when it comes to that, but society has did that. Well, and if there's 20 women to every one man, then we have to have our... It's competition everywhere. But comparison kills. It does, absolutely. It sucks the life and the peace and the joy out of everything. You preaching, come on. It does. It kills. I mean, it will drain you. Because we're not focused on who we are in God's eyes. We're focused on who we are in the world's eyes. And we don't understand, we don't think about the fact that we're a soul creation. Yes, a beautiful and a wonderful being. Made the way we are for some purpose and plan, and he designed us that way. Come on. Instead of seeing us as each an individual, beautiful creation, we're worried about, well, she's got that and I don't. Right. And that sometimes, now that we're talking about women, that sometimes kind of put us on the back burner because you're thinking that you have to be something, and you're forgetting the fact that I love what I love about you. Yeah. And because you've heard something from somewhere else, or from somebody else, or whatever, that you think that you have to be that. Yeah, I think that's difficult. I think as I'm getting older, and honestly, if I'm honest, since I've gotten divorced, dating at this age, it seems that that's a lesson that I'm learning, that the men I've dated are teaching me. Like, if I'm into you, I'm into you. Right. You have to be what she is. Right. For me to be into you. Come on. That's vice versa, too. Yeah. Yeah, no, it is. That's very true. But yeah, I mean, I think without being where I am now, I wouldn't have learned that lesson. And I was married. Whoa. And thought I still needed to... Compare. Yeah. That's heavy. That's heavy that you felt like you had to compare with a person you said, I do for the remainder of my life. Wow. Wow. Now, let me ask a question in that. And married people chime in. Do you think that once you get that spouse, that it just ends right there? What ends? The care, the excitement, the hunt. Careful what I say, the hunt. No, but there is the chase is fun. Chase, thank you. That's the word I was looking for. Yeah, absolutely. And it's exciting and all that. Yeah. Chase of it. So when you get married and you're there, because we both were, when you were there after 10 years, was it still chase? Was it still... Well, no, we know it's not. And especially when you have kids, like that all goes out the window for a while. Occasionally. But yeah, when you're busy and you're killing it, trying to just pay bills and get the kids where they need to be and all that stuff, it's difficult to maintain. So what does that do to a woman though? Because if I'm not giving you that chase, if I'm not giving you that compliment that you got when we first started or that, hey, you look good, just something. What happens to a woman's self-esteem? What happens to a woman's mindset when that goes, as you said, out the window? Well, I think it definitely doesn't help secure that, you know, because when we're busy, busy doing kids and whatever, we don't put a lot of emphasis on ourselves. So, you know, and I know there's a lot of men that take that offensively, like they get offended that their woman isn't, you know, dressed to the nines or doesn't have her makeup on all the time or you know what I mean, for him, but she won't put it on for him. And it goes both ways. Like there were moments I was lazy. Absolutely. There were moments he was lazy. Yeah. So it goes both ways and there are seasons to relationships. It doesn't mean that it can't come back around. But yeah, if you've got kids, there's a big season where the focus is more on the children than it is. And I agree with that. However, I don't think it should just go away completely. I think we can try it. And I'm really speaking to men. We can try to be intentional with it because women are drawn emotionally. We are drawn mentally. Like it's just here. And women need that. So if you're not expressing to her, even outside of her having rollers in her head, getting up, cooking, cleaning, blah, blah, blah, this and that, if you're not providing, which you just spoke about, if you're not providing that atmosphere that is everything to you, then of course she's going to be like, man, screw him. He don't even look at me no more. He don't even blah, blah, blah, this and that no more. So we have to take accountability for that. I think that, you know, like I said earlier, there's seasons to relationships and relationships shift. To find your wife beautiful when you're first married, you're looking more at her outward appearance. But as time progresses, I think you're finding her beautiful when you're first married. I don't know if I'm going to agree with that one. Okay, well don't. You don't have to. I don't want you to if that's not true. No, because I don't think that the first part of it is just physical. I don't think. I shouldn't have said that it's just physical, but I just mean that as the relationship progresses, I think that the love focus becomes more on who she is as a whole. Maybe that's a better way to explain it than she was in the beginning. Okay, okay. I definitely agree with that. Because it shouldn't be just physical, man. You marry her because, you know, she's got a booty. That booty going to fag. Fags. I'm telling you. I mean, you might as well go ahead and prepare your bank account for the BBLs and the other BBLs. Amen. So, for men, I think that a woman can, there is a laundry list. There is a laundry list. However, isn't that something that you already, or women already have in their minds to be? Somehow, some way, mom expressed it to women. Hey, baby girl, learn how to cook. To reach a man through his stomach. Well, there's other ways to reach a man. Fags. But I heard that before. Okay, so are you trying to point out the difference in how mothers raise their daughters versus fathers raise their daughters? No, I don't want to go there. I don't know how. I told you a pimp helped me. I don't know how. However. Well, I thank God for that pimp. No, seriously. I'm being serious. I thank God for that pimp. Somebody go put that in the comments. I thank God for that pimp. So, that was hilarious. But God can use anybody and speak to anybody. That just proves that. I agree. In today's time and whatever. I agree. I feel like, should it be, should you already know those things of what to do and you're going into the relationship already thinking, hey, I probably got to be the nurturer. I probably have to be the cook. I probably have to learn how to clean. Like, y'all already know that coming in? No, I don't think so. Really? I know when I was young, all I wanted to do was be a wife and a mother, which, good Lord. But yeah, that was my highest aspiration was to be a wife and a mom. And to be that, don't you have to know how to cook and clean and do laundry and what's the other one? All that other stuff? Pay bills, all that stuff. Right. Like, ain't that already in your mind when you say I want to be a wife and a mom? Well, I guess maybe. I never really thought about it like that. But, and I was raised where I could cook and I could clean and do that stuff. My mom, my mom's a good cook. It was already in you. Yeah. So I was fortunate in that manner. But I'm not raising my daughter that way. I want my daughter to be a beast on her own. To be a beast on her own. Boy, if y'all knew. We're going to do a video here real soon. Boy, because y'all got to meet me. Well, she's a beautiful one. I'm not saying she's a beast like that. She's a gorgeous girl. I'm just saying I want her to stand on her own and be her own girl. In her own right. Right. But I don't want her to be a beast and I don't think I was raised that way at all. Now I've become that to a certain degree, but I was not raised that way. I was raised to be like more Suzy Homemaker type deal. So it does matter. And I think you just brought this up. I don't want to go there because I don't. I can't really speak to it. I can tell you how I raise my children, but I can't speak to it. So do it matter how you raise of being that wife and mother? Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. I mean, just like we've been talking, we're not the church is not teaching us how to be godly men and women. And I don't know in our families that we're learning how to be godly men and women either. And the family unit is divided and it has been for, you know, generation now. So it's that's the devil's way of keeping us. Yes. Out of being in a godly family situation. And I'm divorced, so, you know, you can throw that back at me. But. I think that we need to focus more on teaching people how to be godly spouses, how to be godly. Fathers, mothers. And. So like one of the ways that we do that is talking about it. If we keep sweeping it under the rug, and not addressing real life issues, then we'll never know. No, if acknowledging it is as one of the biggest hurdles. Yes. Because when you do that, then you can open up the door for dialogue and whatnot. Why is that a hurdle? Why is that so hard? Acknowledging issues. Yes. Because it's easier to pretend they're not there. In a relationship, in anything, it's easier to pretend they're not there. If you have an elephant sitting in your room, you're going to pretend that it's not there? Maybe I want that elephant there. You know what? I've actually said that. I think there's times we do want that elephant there. And it's a comfort thing. Yeah. Exactly. It was my protection. Right. I don't have to have a conversation. Exactly. Don't call me out like that. Good one. Good one. I had another question. Women. Shelby. Why do you all feel that when there is competition that you bow out? Or you don't? Lack of confidence? I don't know if it's a lack of confidence. Well, okay. Are you talking about like you're dating a couple people, something like that, and one finds out about the other? No. I mean, not like just talking to, not like dating. Right. If you're dating. Interviewing. Let's say we're interviewing. Good word. I had to think about that. Good word. So you're interviewing, right? And there's more than one that you're interviewing at the same time. He doesn't want to talk about it anymore. He opened the door. Now I'm not going to let him stop. Okay. So interviewing. You're interviewing. And do women feel like if you have competition that you may bow out or you may just be like, hey, you know what? I ain't trying to go that route. It depends on the woman. It depends on the woman. But the man may be the one saying, hey, you are the one. But you're like, nah, because you got, you know, this one over here and that one over there. But that's the whole purpose. Like we're interviewing. As long as you're interviewing and you haven't moved further down the relationship line, then, yeah, I think it's OK. But. So if she's bowing out, then she's probably not that interested in you. Well, thank you. I've got to be honest. Bam. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Yep. That was a light bulb. OK. So, yeah. Or, you know, but at our age, people have history and maybe it's just the way age people have history and maybe it's triggering something in her. I don't know. OK. OK. Good deal. My favorite word trigger. Trigger. OK. Well, I mean, triggers can kind of come from anywhere because this culture, this culture, everything is going on. Everything I share with Shelby the other day, I had to work an event and in law enforcement. And this lady came up to me and she was with her husband. And again, I got to remember the culture that we in. She was with her husband and she kind of looked over at her husband and said, hey, can we take him home? And they went, wait, wait, what? I was lost for a minute. But I didn't know that, you know, even that is so bold now. But it's accepted. It's really accepted. I kind of had the same thing happen that same night. Here we go. Oh, yeah, there is a boldness out there. Yeah. I mean, it's real bold to where they'd be like, you know, they she was with her husband. She was like, hey, I'll be. Can we take him home? Oh, my God. Someone help me. I got nothing. Oh, my God. So I don't know. It's kind of different, man. When you look at even with it's hard to say for a laundry list for women because now we can keep it going. I think you said this and I want to really expand upon this. But a freak in the sheets like it's a whole body in the street. What is the lady? Why are you asking me? I'm not a man. No. I would assume that you want someone who's like. Well, like what you said, she knows who she is. And is somewhat demure, not letting everything hang out for everybody else. No, like keeping things under wraps. No degree. But yet when it's just you, you want it all that way. That she left. So with that for men, is it the same? Is it the same way? Do women want men to be? I think it's reversed. I can only speak for myself. But I want a man who's very strong out in the world. But with me, he has a soft side. OK. Do you want him to be more openly seen in the world out when y'all out? Like openly like he got on the body shirts. And I'm talking about his nipples glistening. Oh, God. And his arms are bulging. No. Oh, you mean like is he showing it off? Yes. Or do you want a conservative man where he just kind of keep it under wraps? You still look good. You can still see the physique. No, I'm a conservative chick. I would appreciate a conservative man. Got it. So some women do want them to be on display. That's called arm candy. I get that. Yeah. I just learned something. OK. But I mean, yeah, there's nothing wrong with that if that's what floats your boat. It's not personally what floats my boat. I mean, man, good looking. So I ain't got no problem. But women got arm candy. I thought that was just. Well, it goes both ways. Why? Why should we be excluded from having arm candy? Because we need your arm. Y'all in our arms. Well, if your arm and arm like that. But what if I'm bigger? I'm shoulder candy. You're hip candy. Hip candy. I don't know. OK. So the women do look at it the same way men do. I'm going to say this on air, so I guess women are more freaks than men, too. Y'all are. What does that mean? Just because you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't flick with. OK. Now, wait a second, because I'm talking about being with one man. I'm not talking about. Yes. Well, one man. Yeah. However, if. And I don't go just looking for arm candy. I mean, it'll catch my eye. Yeah, for sure. But I'm talking about like being with one man. Yeah, for sure. But I'm talking about like I'm with a man because I'm with that man. Like, I love that man. But arm candy will do what again? Catch your eye. And women know. Does it not for men to give me a break? You guys are more visual than we are. Yeah, but I'll keep it on the raps. I'm pulling it out, fellas. See women. We can appreciate good looking bodies. And I just pointed out to my man the other day because we were at the beach. Mm hmm. And he said, oh, she's she's one of those. I ain't one of those. But anyways, there was a woman out of the water and she had a freaking phenomenal physique. And I said, that chick's got a phenomenal body. Please tell me his response. He wasn't as impressed as I was. OK, but I mean, I can appreciate. I'm giving him. OK, yes, I think it's OK to appreciate. A good physique or an attractive person. Now, do you need to go further than that? No. OK, if you're with someone, absolutely not. OK, so just kind of a question. OK, so you and your significant other out. OK. Let me also say that I would have said there was a man with a good physique, but there weren't any good looking men there except for the one with me. So I'm not I am. I don't I don't bat both sides of the plate. No. OK. But I can appreciate a good looking woman. What if the rules and he said, hey, man, she looks good. She kind of nice, but body all of the above. You like that. And what you would have said. Come on. I'll wait. No, I mean, I probably would have been pretty honest about it and said, yeah, or no, or. Now, would it put a chink in my armor? Yeah, I would have probably put a chink in my armor. We can't say that to you. I can probably say that to us. I mean, I don't I don't know how some men feel about another woman. Hey, man, he looks really good. And then the man agree with you. Like, yeah, he looks really good. I don't know how that, you know, I don't know how that works. However, if a woman said and you are noticing another woman, I feel like women were kind of. Y'all, y'all form that camaraderie with other women like y'all can have sleepovers and stuff like that and kick it and have women who. But, yeah, but, yeah, we can also be the witchiest bitches too. True. True. With each other. Yeah, absolutely. But I'll create that atmosphere. Men don't. Men don't create that atmosphere. We're not kidding. We may have one or two guys that we can go kick it with you. Blah, blah, blah. And then we see something like, man, that was nice. And then keep it going. That's it. But we don't we don't we don't have that like women have it. So I feel like I'll get the better part of that because y'all can say what y'all want to say. We can't. That goes back to the nurturing side and the emotional side of things. I think it does. You're right. You're right. And y'all ain't built that way. No, we're not supposed to be the same. Y'all men and women are not supposed to be the same. We're supposed to be opposites because we come together again and compliment each other and make a whole. Yes. And we can we can do things the same. Like, I think you talked about this. We can both work. We can both cook. We can both clean. I get that part. Those are things to do. Yeah. But we're not the same. No. And we're not meant to be the same. Thank men. Stop trying to put us in the same box because, dang it, society, we are not the same. Not the same. And the devil just wants to be like, oh, make y'all. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, make y'all into one big old blob of nothing. Right. Right. And that's when he confused everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Glad we had that because that needed to be said as we come to a close. For real. Because I think we try to be the same. And then that's when the competing come in. Yeah. And I'm going to get on someone's bad side again. The feminist movement helped create that. Yeah. And that I believe, you know, you know, my stance on the government and why they did what they did. But anyways, I do want to say that confusion is always from the enemy. It is never from God. God does not deal in confusion. He is not the author of confusion. So therefore, if you're confused about anything in life. It's because the enemy is clouding your judgment. So tell him to get out, get out back to his pit and then try and make a decision on what you're confused about. God, I looked at something on Instagram. It was probably yesterday. And it said things for a woman not to have. And one of those things is femininity. I said, wait, what? That's what she's made of. Some told me to like screenshot a picture to show it to you. I said, wait, what? Things not to have. Femininity. That's the identification of a woman. That's a bunch of bullshit. I want to know who that is. And I'm going to. Oh, my God. OK. So, yeah, moving on. But that's sad that we are. We have created that kind of culture. Mm hmm. It is. And it's accepted. And now when men try to court state, be with a woman, she. She don't know how to be feminine because society have now told her to be masculine. Now, we did a whole podcast on that. You can go back and listen to it. Please do. Yes. Because I live that for a while. And I'm still stuck in that to a certain degree. To a certain degree. She's coming out of it. She's trying. It's hard. Well, maybe. So that's that. Thank you. Thank you for giving your perspective. That men just don't have to be a not beating, not cheating, working man to be a good man. There are other qualifications that we do need to step up and take accountability and responsibility for. Thank you. And women, please understand. I mean, butt and boobs. The list is long. We need a little bit more than just the physical. But we don't need you to be like, you know, in the kitchen cooking and cleaning and this and that. I mean. Even the example that was given with Mary and Martha. There's a time that you can just kind of sit and chill. And we worship together. Yeah. Always be doing. Theologians really, really beat me up for saying that. But I ain't worried about it because we can go scripture if you want to. Well, I don't want to say that we're in. We're still in the kind of not archaic, but the old fashioned mentality of the woman has to stay home, raise the babies barefoot in the kitchen, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's not what we're talking about. Right. I mean, that's a generalization. But we're just talking about the laundry list of what a good woman is versus the very short list of what makes a good man. And and that's what I was trying to call out. Well, let me get a piggyback off that. I got it. I got about two minutes. Even if she fit all those qualifications and she's snappy or she always have an attitude. That's not a good woman to me. Well, that's a that's a root of bitterness somewhere in her that has to be plugged. That's another podcast. I've already done those two. But yeah, go back and listen. Yes. But no, I think. Or she's been hurt and she's wounded. I mean. Yeah, absolutely. So it's not even for the man. And as we spoke about, you know, he's the. And what if he's really closed off? Would that be a good thing? What if he's really closed off? What does that mean, Nate? That means there's a root of bitterness within him. Absolutely. And he's hurt and wounded. And that was on another podcast. Please go back. Oh, with that, I think we kind of covered a lot of. It's more than just those things when they come to a good man or a good woman. But what is good? Because that's only our perspective. Someone else is good. Hey, all you got to have is blonde hair. Yeah. That's why the world goes around, because everybody's got a different perspective and a different opinion. Everybody's got an opinion and they all stink. All right. That is that is a true statement. My mama told me that as a kid. I was like. So like they all holes. She said. Everybody has one. Yeah. Thank you all for tuning in to word of mouth podcast. Listen, this is what made it Shelby. And we want you all. I think we're coming up on another season. So this is what we want you to do. Yeah. Like. Share. Talk about comment and push it to a place where because we're going to we're talking about other platforms and video and stuff like that. And I believe that I was actually praying about this the other day. I believe that that is about to open some doors to where this platform is going to become something that is going to be major in our podcast. Yes. Oh, my. Yes. I'm just a little old me. And that's that's what makes it amazing. Because we choose to be honest, open and transparent. In other words, hot. So, listen, yeah, push it, push it as much as you can. We're going to be doing some other great play. The Salt-N-Pepa song to end it with. Push it real good. Push it real good. Oh, my God. Oh, please, please like, share, comment, talk to people about it. Man. Build it up to a place where we do want to do some things with it. So I didn't give us this for nothing. And we're literally we're just sitting back, just having discussion. And I love how, you know, our our connection, Shelby and I. And I've had listeners to talk about our connection. It's so broad, but it's so like amazing. They can have people to say, man, they love just listening to you. They love listening to you. They love just listening to Shelby because she just she's the chick. And then you got this guy to be like, well, you know, the Bible says. And then you have to be here because I can't pull the Bible. But then they say, I heard a comment that said, well, I mean, when she go and she's captivated by the Holy Spirit, everything stops. And it's so quiet in there. Like, it's so quiet. Y'all can't put us in the box. How about that? No, I can't put us in the box. Just don't. Because we don't know what's going to happen. No, we don't come with like 10,000 things. And it's presented. And we got cue cards. We don't have none of that. No. And my mom even asked me today on the way here. She's like, so what are you going to podcast about? I said, I don't know. We don't know till we get there. We got a Bible sitting on the desk. Yeah. Sometimes we have like little ideas, but yeah, we don't ever know. We don't know. Yeah. Support. Like. Share. Talk about it. And we'll see y'all soon. Love ya. The cricket's back.