FORGIVING EPISODE 18 SEASON 3

Hey, welcome to Word of Mouth Podcast. We are back in the building and we are excited to be here another day. What it do, Shelb? It be doing. Yes, it be doing. It be doing and doing and doing. Come on. I think you got a rhyme that you want to kick. No. Shelby going to rap, y'all. I promise y'all. I'm going to get her to rap. No, no, that ain't a rap. I'm going to bust a rap. No. Go, Shelb. Go, Shelb. I'm going to be a hype man. All right. Listen, today we going to dig into something. Of course, we always get personal with it. We always step on some toes. However, we do love you. We appreciate you, but I love the H-O and the T because we're going to always be honest, definitely open, and most of all, transparent. The transparency leads to us examining ourselves. It's never about putting down anyone or making someone feel like crap because we actually look at each other all the time. When I look at Shelb and she make these faces, she's usually talking to herself. She look at me and I'd be like, whoo, off in a run. I'm usually talking to myself. Yeah, we got this big old mirror in front of us. At the end of the day, we're literally talking about us. Today, we're going to talk about, and we probably already did this in maybe season one, maybe two, I don't know. We got to bring it back up because there's some things going on around us and the world and our families and our homes, wherever it is, on our jobs. No. We got to bring this back up and we'll talk about it in its entirety, and that is forgiveness. Where's the cricket? Good job. All right. All right. Yes, I'm glad we did the fairy dust because it has sound good when I give Shelby the scripture to read. Yeah, they invited the fairy dust again. Thank God for Peter because he asks a question that we ask every day. He really do. If you can, can you read the book of Matthew, chapter 18, verse 21? 21, yeah. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked the Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times, basically saying, how many times am I going to forgive these fools? Jesus answered, I tell you not seven times, but 77 times. Dang it. Boy, that's hard. Dang it. You're telling me Jesus responded to him and he said, nah. Nah, sorry, son. I'm going to need you to forgive them a little bit more because your father in heaven has forgiven you. Sheld, that's a blow. Yes. Some people, man. Can I be honest? Yeah, I'm going to be honest. Of course. That's how we are. Yes. Some people really, really, for a period of time in my life, some people didn't deserve to be forgiven. Not by me because they did me wrong. I went to get them. Let's dig into this thing. I think, and I shared this with Shelby right before we got on mic, I think that forgiveness is not about the person, but it's more about us. We have to let that weight fall off of us so that we can move to the next season or the next level in our life. What do you think? I agree. I think that that's a maturity lesson because Lord knows I didn't get it until a few years ago. I think it's an ego lesson too. Definitely. Ego. Absolutely. Wow. We don't want to let go of our, they hurt me, so they deserve the wrath. When I hear the word ego, I immediately think of pride. Of course, because they're one and the same, hand in hand. You're telling me that I can be in unforgiveness for years and years to come, and that's very similar to me living in pride? One of the seven things that God hates and don't even know it? Yeah. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we got to get this thing right because there are some people I believe that we say that we've forgiven them, then when they, talking about me, when they come around us or we see them in person or we- Your hair stands up. Yeah. Secret. Right. We're reminded- Of course. Of what happened, and that to me says that you probably didn't let go of some stuff. I was sharing with Shelby before we started. I was having a conversation with my older sister, and she was sharing some things about being triggered. Shelby hates that word. I do hate that word. She hates being triggered into the place of anger because she hasn't let go of some things in her past. A lot of it has to do with forgiving certain people. She kind of told me, she said, man, it's hard. I don't know if I can ever let go. I said, you can. It's kind of a choice. It is a choice, and it's a choice to check your ego. It's a choice to let down that pride and accept that they took advantage of you or they did whatever, and it's on them. Their behavior is on them, but you're carrying it around like it's on you. I think we can take it on after a while because we're so used to carrying that weight. Good deal. That's actually, I felt that before because there were some times where I wanted people to get What they gave you. Thank you for Or even more. Because I've been there. Believe me. No, not you, Shelby. You love everybody. You just walk around. I love you. I wanted people to get some vengeance, and I didn't want to wait on God to do it because I had a couple of things to give myself. It took me a minute to learn that, and I'm still maturing. I even set a post today. I'm learning. I've learned more now in my older age to be quiet. Yes. Isn't that funny how that happened? I wasn't quiet as a young man. I popped off real easy. In my head, I did. I really did in my head. I didn't know it. But now I'm learning how to let go of stuff because I love peace. I do. I love peace. However, there are some people that can bring out the best in me. The best in the flesh. Right. That part. Oh, no, Shelby. This is a touching situation. Transparency. I'm learning how to let go of everything. I'm trying not to hold on to those little small things. Even talking about them, and then I find myself getting angry when I talk about that stuff. I'm trying not to. How is it that I'm holding on to something, especially of people that ain't even here no more? I'm holding on to some dead people. That's messed up. I know I'm not the only one. No, but you know what? We hold on to the people that have hurt us that are gone because they never had to own up to it. We never called them on the carpet about it, right? Come on now, that's good. And now they're gone. And now we're like, I need an apology. Or something. I just need to be able to vent and tell them how I feel about them. Yes. And we didn't get that opportunity. So we're literally holding on to that? But that's the root of bitterness. And that root of bitterness will create all kinds of mess in your body, in your soul, in your spirit. My, my, my. Bitterness is really bad. Yes, it is. And the words you said was root of bitterness. Like we've let that thing set root. Oh, yeah. And it will grow. And it grows really ugly flowers. Not pretty. So last time I was up here, I watched you pull up weeds. Yes. And I'm sitting watching you, right? I was carrying some stuff inside, but I turned around and I saw you. And you grabbed, and the top part came off, but the weed was still in the ground. This is the part that blessed me more than anything. You grabbed the top part, and then you went back and got the root. Woo! Yeah. Did you catch that? Yeah. The reason why you couldn't just walk away from getting the top part because the root was still there. Yep. And the root is what creates the life in that thing. Yeah. Oh, my God. And this is why forgiveness is so important from the root of it, because it will create that root of bitterness for the remainder if you don't get it from the root. Absolutely. And you have to—the thing that I think is so hard about finding what the real root is, that's the hardest part. You have to literally sit in your mess and go back to wherever the bitterness started or where you think it started. And for some of us, it could be childhood, because there was some crap stuff that happened to us as kids, right? And we didn't have a voice. Wow. And so that, I think—and sometimes we even have blocked that stuff out. Mm-hmm. And so you don't—and then you have to say, Lord, okay, I need you to show me gently what started this. Yes, that's why I'm not against counseling. I'm not against getting help. Yeah. Yeah, with therapy and stuff like that, because that stuff, you would need that— Someone to pull. Yes, to pull that stuff back up. Because if I'd sit—honestly, Chef, if I'd sit and thought about my childhood, I can only create what I want to create in my mind. But a stranger or person that is experienced in that area can begin to say some things. That'll trigger things. Your word. And it'll cause you to think about, well, man, that did hurt me. And I was a little angry about that. Because you're recreating that moment, and I think it's okay to get therapy and counseling. I agree. I really think it's okay, especially with dealing with forgiveness. Because you said, if it's from your childhood, and you're as old as I am— I'm older, sir. I mean— I've already been there, done that. You've got to go back some years. Yeah, and a lot of it is so buried. Because we like to bury that stuff, keep it safe, and keep it where we're manageable. So it's really—and stirring that stuff up is really difficult. It's very hard. It's vulnerable. Oh, yeah. I mean, you have to be so careful. Because when that box is open—I was going to say Pandora's box. But when that box is open, now you're uncovered, and you're looking around like— You're exposed. Yeah. And all those feelings are at the surface. So the tears and the madness and the anger and rage and all that is right there. Wow. I remember the first time I went to therapy, the very first time, years ago. I remember telling the lady—it was maybe my third session—that I blocked some things out. I made myself forget it and never bring it back up. And now that you're saying this, there were some times where I had to sit and recreate it to where I had to pull it up. Because it was such a root, because I blocked it. Right. And there are a lot of—I think especially in childhood, we do that. I know that my son had forgotten he had blocked out some stuff. Oh. And he didn't remember it, but his sister did. And that's what— I want to say it's a coping mechanism. It is, absolutely. Your spirit and your soul have to shut that stuff down so that you can keep going. Huh. Sam, you're breezing. No, it's a fact. And I think God provided us that because he knew that we needed it. Yeah. But at the same time, I don't think we talk enough about unwrapping that and getting down to the root. That part. And plucking that and how important that is spiritually. That's what the church should be talking about, because everybody's walking around hurt nowadays. There ain't nobody that's not hurt. Come on. I'm in worship right now. Well, we need to. Yeah. Because we're bleeding on people thinking that we're helping them. Right. We're not helping them if we're not healed. Yeah. We're not helping them if we're not walking in wholeness. You're saying, hey, I need to talk to Shelby because I've dealt with this and I've dealt with that. And what if you've dealt with the same thing and you never got healed? How are you going to help her? You never got healed in that area. You can show her how you coped. Right. And I think that's what a lot of us do. We give them examples of how we cope with it. Right. But we never unwrap that thing. Man, that's really good. Forgiveness is a thing that I believe we need to unwrap daily. Yeah. It probably definitely needs to be more on the forefront of our life. No, it's vulnerability. You said it. You're right. Forgiveness is really hard. It is really hard. It's really hard because it's so hard to understand that it's not for that person because you don't want to give a rat's ass to that person, really. I mean you'd rather not piss on them when they're on fire. Have a good one. Yeah. So it's really hard to think that by forgiving them you're not giving them something, but it really is letting yourself be free of the bondage that you're in with that person. Cool. Boy, that's heavy. It is heavy. I'm talking about naked vulnerability. Yeah. And you don't, I don't think forgiveness has to be expressed to the person that hit you. That too, man. Yeah, hurt you. I don't think you have to do it personally with that person. I think it just has to be something you work through on your own. I think definitely you can tell that person you've forgiven them. You think so? Yes, I've done it, but I don't know that you have to do that as part of your healing. Right. Because there are some that it's such a bad thing that you don't ever want to, and if you've lost the person, if that person's gone, you can't tell them. Well, I guess you could, but… Right, in spirit. Yeah. Me saying to a person, hey, I forgive you, I'm challenged with that because I don't want to give the keys back to them. The keys… Right, that's what I'm saying. Open, yeah. You're letting them know that they've gotten off scot-free, right? Right, right. And that's saying, I'm a sucker and you're not. You're winning and I'm losing, but that's not the case. This is a good podcast. You know how many people deal with that? I think as a human, yeah. I don't never be the sucker again. Right. I'm not going to be misused and taken advantage of again. But that's why we learn from our mistakes. That's the whole point of mistakes is to learn from them. And the whole point of having tests is for testimony. And if you're supposed to preach from your pain, that's why I believe we have pain in our lives to a certain degree. Now when I get to heaven, hopefully I'll ask him because I know everybody wants that answer. But I do believe part of it is to preach from that pain. I agree. Because there's other people that need the healing. Absolutely. We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. Right. You're absolutely right. And people need to see that if you can heal, of course, God is no respected person. They can heal too. Right. And if you can forgive. Yep. First John. First John. First John 1. Can you go there? First John chapter 1. Look at verse 9. Yeah, look at verse 9. Check that out. The true light? Is that it? First John. The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world? That's not what you're looking for. That's not what I'm looking for. Oh, first John. I meant John John. Sorry. Oh my God. Nathan's like, what? I got it wrong. I'm thinking like, wait. That was my fault. It's in the corner over there. My fault. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. 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