episode 4 season 2

This podcast episode is a conversation between Nate and Shelby about the difference between love and being in love. They discuss the signs of falling in love and falling out of love. Shelby emphasizes the importance of being authentic and not pretending to be someone you're not. They also touch on the topics of loyalty, failure, and the societal pressure surrounding relationships. Nate shares his experience of trying to avoid falling out of love and the importance of authenticity. They end by discussing the fine line between love and lust and the physical aspect of relationships. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, we're back. Word about the podcast, Nate and Shelby, part two of the difference between love and being in love. We've chatted quite a bit about just some different things that honestly I didn't know about up front, but Shelby has broke it down in such a way, man, I just love her, her insight on what she gives. And also we want everyone to understand that this is just dialogue, our opinion on how we see, what we've experienced, and who we are. So before we left, she brought out something about falling in and falling out of love. And I wanted to know the difference between the falling in love and falling out of love. How do you know when you're falling in love? How do you know it? Like what, what are the signs? Are you actually asking me the question? Yes. Um, let me, let me rephrase it. How, how do you feel, um, when you think that, that action can happen? As he looks away. I don't know, I just, falling in love and falling out of love, I'm learning a little bit more as I conversate with you. Um, I think now that you've said a few things, I remember falling out of love. I remember. Because that was more recent than falling in love. Huh. That's why you remember it. You think? Mm hmm. It could be, it could be. Um, but I want, I want to remember how to fall in love. Is it a, is it a certain thing you have to do? I don't think there's like, like a list. So it's not a list of things that you have to do? No. I mean, for me personally, it's how my heart feels and it's like you, I don't know, you catch yourself thinking about them a lot. You want to know more about them. Of course, you want to spend time with them, all that stuff. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. They become a priority. Wow. Okay. And so how do you know, and I, I'll express mine, but how do you know when you're falling out of love? All the opposite of that stuff I just said. Okay. So you're not thinking about it anymore. It's not a priority. No, actually, actually that's not true. You're thinking about them in a very different manner. Okay. Yeah. It's not a hurtful thing. It's a hurtful manner. There's pain involved. There is pain involved. Mm hmm. Okay. So when you use the word falling in, the analogy that I see with that is falling head first. Mm hmm. Head first being... Like a trust fall. Yeah. Well, that can be both ways. Head first. Yeah. Yeah. That can be both ways. Mm hmm. my thoughts, my mind, anything that can be changed interfere with me going forward. Mm hmm. That's how I see head first. So my mind can be playing tricks on me and can be saying, hey, red flags, or that's not the one, or... I remember she said this a couple days ago. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It won't blind me to the fact of falling head first because I'll immediately stop myself on the trust fall instead of me, you know, just going head first. Where's your heart in all that? That's why I have to go blindly. My mind has to be completely excited. Okay. I get what you're saying. So I can go forward. I have to be just heart driven. Okay. And I guess that's the part of me because I think a lot. I'm an analyzer. Mm hmm. So my mind is first before my heart. And that's what we did for it. So I really want to ask you, because you are a person and you've expressed this in many of the podcasts already, your heart determines how you act, who you are, what you do. It's my guiding... It guides you. Course. Mm hmm. Yes. How do you fall in if your heart is guiding you? Maybe I should say, how do you fall out if your heart is guiding you? Because your heart led you there. So how do you fall out? It's not easy. I'm extremely, extremely loyal. And I will stick in something until I know it's dead. Wow. And sometimes even past the point of it being dead. So I don't walk away from stuff even if it's killing me. I won't. Mm hmm. At least I didn't. It might change now, but I didn't. Loyalty is a big word. It is a big word. That's a huge, huge word. Even when you're not in love anymore, you're telling me that you're loyal or the phrase loyal to a fault? Mm hmm. Really? Yeah. Loyal to the detriment of myself. Is that torture? I don't know. I've never been tortured before that I know of. I mean, does it hurt your psyche? Does it hurt your brain? Oh, God, yes. It hurts everything. Man, because even when you're being hurt, you're loyal? Mm hmm. Whoa. Mm hmm. You need to go into counseling. That's intense. Like, that's really intense. But I made a commitment, and that's what I made. And my commitment is I don't go back on that. Whoa. Ladies and gentlemen, that's so powerful. It took a long time for me to just realize that there was no more going forward. And it took God telling me. I mean, it really did. And I think I've expressed before that it probably should have been done about a decade sooner. But I kept asking, is it time? Is it time? Is it time? And one day, he just said, you will know. It won't be a big deal. It's not going to be a big, dramatic reason, but you're going to know. And sure enough, that day came, and I knew exactly, and it was done. Mm. Oh, my. And I need to say, we did counseling for years. We did all the things. It wasn't like I just walked away. Believe me, I did not just walk away. Well, using the word loyalty, you wouldn't have to say any of those things because, as you just said, you were loyal to a fault. So that says a whole lot about your character regardless. A lot of people are not even loyal to God, let alone being loyal to another person. A lot of people don't know what loyalty is. They talk about it, but they don't know it. That, that right there. It's not something that the generations deal with now. I mean, there's not a lot of loyalty in the kids coming up. No, no. I don't think we... We probably need to talk about what loyalty is because we've lost that. There is no loyalty to people anymore. There's numerous of stories. I'll use one that pops into mind right now would be David and his friend, Jonathan. Jonathan was King Saul's son. King Saul wanted to kill David, but his son helped him because his son valued the friendship that they had. He was loyal to David. And a lot of people don't carry that anymore. Once you cross me, once you... Yeah, once I've been hurt. We lose loyalty completely and that's it. Should it change our love when someone cross you or when someone does something to you? I don't think it should change your love. I think you need to conversate about it. Well, I think it depends on what love you're talking about. If you're talking about just love, agape love, whatever, the general love that you have for humanity, then no, it shouldn't change it. If you're talking about... Because we were talking about falling out of love and that's what I was... Well, even in a relationship or marriage, should your loyalty change once it become unloyal? What do you mean? How do you make the difference between should I be loyal to this? Should I still stay loyal to this knowing that I'm not in love anymore? I've fallen out of love? I think that's what I meant. Should I stay loyal to this? I'm not in love anymore. The fact that I made a commitment was greater than that. It was greater than being in love. It didn't matter. I made a commitment. So the commitment was greater. Yeah. If I made a commitment, I made a commitment. And I made a commitment to the three children that we had and to God and to who is now my ex-husband, him too. So, you know, the commitment was greater than whether I was in love or not. Wow. Now, I still loved him as a general love because he's a person. We had a lot of history and all that, and we have kids, but the in love part was not there. Gotcha. Gotcha. And I can see the difference. I've experienced the same exact thing to understand that being in love and not being in love, yeah, but you're loyal to the commitment. And that's heavy. That's heavy. Especially when it's a marriage. That's heavy. Well, we got deep. We got real deep. When you said the word loyalty, like that supersedes everything when you sign up, like you say, hey, I'm in this. That's like, that's it. No, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever expected I would be divorced, especially after 25 years together or whatever it was. But here I am. Wow. You know, these are conversations that you might not hear in a church or in a coffee shop. You might not hear some of these conversations, but it's needed. Somebody needs to hear this. Even the commitment that they have, the loyalty in which they have, God can still reveal to you. It's time. It's time. And I commend you even for the time that you stayed and felt like you didn't want to, but you did. Yeah, that was the hard part is waiting. And then there's expectation of things getting better. There's all that stuff. But anyways. Yeah, that's powerful. But we don't have these kind of conversations. And I appreciate your transparency again. Honest, open, authentic, transparent is what we want to maintain throughout this word of mouth podcast. It can't be anything but. Yeah, it's very, very important. So if you don't like me, that's just too bad. If you don't like her, you don't like me. How about that? However, I can speak on falling out of love. I didn't want to. I kept saying I'm not, I'm not, and I will push myself back. I want you to see that analogy. And you're fighting. I'm being pushed now. It's a force. She's pushing you away. Yeah. And I'm being pushed. And, you know, she's pushing and I'm pushing. A tug of war. And it was a tug of war. And I'm like, man, what do I do? I don't want to fall. I don't want to fall. And for me, it would have been a repeat action. This wasn't the first. It would have been a repeat action. So I kept saying I'm not going to fall. I'm not going to fall backwards. I don't want to repeat that, in which I've been through already. So I kept saying I don't want to fall backwards. That's your pride. Don't you think? Absolutely. Absolutely. Because I didn't want to repeat that cycle. That mistake. Yeah. I didn't want to do it again. So it was, it was prideful. It was hurtful. It was painful. It was traumatic. But I do believe that there's restoration. I'm experiencing that. I believe that there's a revival that takes place within the person. And you're renewed and you're restored and you're replenished. And those things begin to take place once you accept the fact that it's not that anymore. And it's been a long time to accept it, Shelby. Well, I mean, geez, I'm not talking flippant about my divorce because that was a huge failure to me. I didn't take that lightly at all. Especially after all that time. Huge failure. But, you know, I couldn't keep butting my head against that same wall. Wasn't going to change anything. And once I knew that, you know, God was there and understood what was going on. You used the word failure. Every time I made myself believe that I failed, I had to flip the word to want to succeed again. Because the way I look at failure is how I looked at it in school. If I got an F on a test, if you let me retake it, I won't get an F again. So that's how I looked at my marriage at the time or just going through a divorce, period. If I take that test again, I'm not going to fail. But there's two people involved. It's not just on you. It was me just looking in the mirror at the time. I know it's two parties. But I'm harder on myself because what could I have done better? I wanted to take accountability for me. What could I have changed? What could I have done different? Right, right. And I think you need to do that when you exit a relationship. You have to, like we've talked about before, you have to evaluate all the things. The good, bad, the ugly. And the indifferent. I think I was more hard on me than I was her. But it made me want to islanize. Islanize. We're making our own words. I wanted to just go away. We're retreating. Retreat! Go away and just kick it for a while. But really kind of dig into myself and realize, hey, you're not going to fail that test again. You're not going to fail that test again. So that word failure, it is not final. Failure is just a mark that you get. You get up. Yeah, that's the whole point of it, right? Just like making mistakes. The whole point is you're supposed to learn from them. Yes. And in relationships, you know, a relationship as a whole, if it fails, can be seen as a mistake. But the fact of the matter is that's a different person than you had a previous relationship in. And there's going to be a whole laundry list of differences. Society don't make it seem that way, though. Society has made it so detrimental when you fail. Like if you fail in a marriage or in a relationship, oh, my God, I don't even want to talk about the church. That's another podcast. But society has made you believe that if you fail in a relationship, you're a failure. You would never have anything. I think still, even today, I think it's so prevalent that I don't know. That's why people are not getting in relationships anymore because of that. And that's kind of sad because, you know, I mean, I was there for a while after the divorce. I was like, I ain't doing this again. I at least ain't ever getting married again. And my perspective is changing on that, which I'm thankful that God's rearranging that in my heart. But that's sad to me that people aren't willing to take the chance because they could be missing out on the best thing ever in their life. Absolutely. And they're never going to know. Because society has said, hey, it's not going to be. Right. It's not worth it. Don't put yourself out there. That's so wrong. It's just going to end in failure. That's so wrong, so backwards. And I think that's a ploy from the enemy, too, because he knows that when whatever God has put together, that no man put asunder. So that is a plot and a ploy. And God, the only thing God said was not good in the Bible was that the man was alone. Come on. Come on. And so he created the woman from the rib of the man. And we can go over all that again about how she's supposed to cover him because the rib is the covering of the heart and all that. But we're supposed to be helpmates to each other and we're supposed to balance each other. That was the whole picture and the whole design. Yes. Yes. Now, does that mean you can't go out and live life on your own and kick its butt? Absolutely not. You can go do that. You can? Not saying you can't. More power to you. Right. Go do it. Go do it. More power to you. Thank you for bringing out that word of loyalty and failure. These words make a difference when you're speaking about in love and love, or falling in love and falling out of love. Thank you. Thank you. I didn't know that falling out of love can be so gut-wrenching. It can steal your joy. You think? It shreds it. Yeah. It can shred it. It can put you on an island. Yep. Yeah. But there is restoration. There is restoration. If we both can, I guess giving it to you, if you can give a recap slash summary of the cultivation of being in love. Someone may have missed that statement that you said. What can happen benefit-wise of you falling in love? Why do you hit me with these big questions? Like, David can't just pick up any light-hearted just whatever. He's got to go with a jugular with these questions. Oh, my God. You can handle it. You can handle it. Well, I think if everything works the way you want it to, you have the most joy and happiness that you've ever experienced, and a connection that is immeasurable and, you know, a soft place to fall. Isn't that what we all want? Jesus. A soft place to fall, someone who accepts us as who we are, kind of like Jesus does with the flaws and everything and the ugliness. Absolutely. And loves us through that. You're saying someone can accept our flaws, too? I would sure hope so. Oh, my God. Because, you know, like after what, the third month, we decide that we've got to let those things go. We've got to be honest about ourselves, right? Ooh. Wow. But you can't pretend. You have to be authentic. Because if you pretend, you're setting yourself up for failure. If you try to be someone you're not, you're setting yourself up for failure. Because eventually that curtain's going to fall. And the real you is going to be really pissed off that you spent all those months, years, whatever, pretending to be someone you weren't. Wow. And the other person's going to go, what the hell? The real you. I love it. The real you. There you have it. I need a shovel to just kind of lay that down. Give it to you in a row. Because we need to understand that authenticity is very important. Absolutely. With ourselves. True. And it would be great to be authentic for the other person, too. They don't want to meet you two years later. I would think so. No. Meet the real you two years later? Really? Yeah. That might not work out too well. I've experienced that before. I promise you I have. Wow. It's not pretty. No. So, yeah, just be authentic up front. Be real up front. And don't put on a show. No need. No need. No. I don't know why, but in my head I keep going back over lust versus love. Please. Which is what we started the other podcast with. And I want to say, because you and I talked about it off mic, like I do believe there are people that can fall in love immediately. Like they're just boom, in love with someone. That's just not, I've never experienced that. So I can't speak to that. But I'm not saying that you can't do that. Okay. Because some people will say, ah, no, that's not love. That's lust. They'll say that immediately. I think that's a person who doesn't understand falling in love that way. Older people will tell me that all the time. Like, ah, you don't love them. You're just in lust with them. Right. Really? I had church people to tell me that. A bunch of people. Yeah. You know what? That's stuff we say when we don't understand it because we haven't experienced it ourselves. That's true. And, I mean, you're different from everybody else. You know you. So how can someone else tell you that you're not when you know yourself better than anybody else? Well, you would hope you know yourself better for being authentic. We hope. But that part in which you said, man, the difference between lust and love, I think that's a fine line. Do you? Yeah. Because being in love with someone, you would do the same exact things. But you're doing it for a different reward, aren't you? 100%. Yeah. 100%. But you're still doing the same thing. The perfect thing difference. Yeah. And that's why chicks get pissed off when they find out that the dude was just after them for their booty. True. I'm just going to put it out there. So absolutely true. When you're not in it for the whole person. Yeah. Well, the physical aspect, both parties are always paying attention to. Both parties. Both parties. And so how can you not? I think it leans more to men paying attention to that. Because you're visual. I'm not saying chicks don't. I'm just saying, I don't think it's equal across the board. Do you give me that much? We don't accept this one. No. It's not just all men. I don't think. I'm just saying that I think men are more visual, which is a proven scientific fact that that's what excites them more. That's what they tune into more. In 2023? You're still a man. Your DNA is still male DNA. What are you talking about? Yeah. No. In 2023, I think women are more visual than men. I don't think that. I don't. I would disagree with that. Tell me how. Because I think it's the physical makeup of the actual human being. And I think that's not how God wired us. You may think that men look at just the physical. There are women that just look at the physical as well. I understand that there are. And that goes both ways. I'm saying, though, if you went to percentages, there would be men who are more guided by what they see because they're visual than there are women. That's all. There are women out there that are totally into what they see. And I'm not saying that men are only into what they see and can only be lustful at all. I am not saying that at all. There are many facets to men just like there are many facets to women. I'm just saying that as a whole, I think men are much more visual than women. I think in this day and age, it's either running neck and neck or the women may have a higher percentage. Neck and neck sounds like naked. It's either running like 50-50 or the women have made a stance in a higher percentage. What makes you say that? Because, well, the reason why women are, to me, women are more visual is how they speak. I think you're just getting hit up by some ho. Okay. She is on it right now. Lord have mercy. Well, on and so. Did I say that out loud? Rapid now. So true, so true. No, seriously, go back to what you were saying, though, because I don't want to interrupt what you were saying because I want to work on this. Women are, they're visual. Probably now more. We can see, yes. Probably now more than men because we're going to extend it. So if you look at it from a social media standpoint, the percentage of women that are on social media, whether it's a dating site, whether it's, you know. Any social media, I think, yes, women are more on social media than men. That shoots the percentage higher because once they see a picture, once they see a picture of something, they go after what they see. You don't have an option, though, because I used to be on dating apps, and that's what irked me about them. I'm the kind of person that goes after a person's heart. It is very hard to determine someone's heart on a dating site. So why is women the bigger percentage on the dating site than men? Because of visual. No, I don't think that's true. I think that's because men are supposed to be the leaders, and they see that as a weakness to be on a dating site. Oh, that's true. Now, that's true. I agree with that. I do agree with that. And women, it's okay for women to be on there. And women are more social overall than men. I agree with that, too. And so what they see, visual, they go after. Not just you, per se, but what they see. Some women do, but not all women. What they see, they go after. Men, what we see, you don't go after immediately, not from a social standpoint, but physically, yes. So I agree with you when you say men physically have to see it, yes, because everything is not shown from a social standpoint. Women go after. Well, you can get catfished, too, so that goes both ways. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. I think women do it more than men. So would you agree that from a social standpoint, it's women? No, I'm not going to agree with you on that. You're not going to? I'm not. I'm sorry. I still love you, though. It's okay. No, you don't think that women, like, they have to have that perfect picture of the... Of themselves? No, of the person that they're seeking, the person that they desire. Like, it has to be that guy. No. I can only speak for me. No, I don't think so. Well, from a male perspective, I think men have to see physical, not social. And then we'll say, you know, hey, that's nice. I thought that's what we were talking about the whole time, was looking at your physical. That's why I said it. It has surpassed for women, because now if a woman sees a nice body of a man, they're going after it, 100%. So men have... Or catfish. Okay, maybe I've just been out of the whole pool for way too long, because I'm just like, what? Men have created these profiles that they can just... Women can just gawk and look at, because it's physical. Women have, too. And that's been going on for centuries. Yeah, but the men now have done it more, because it's more women out there wanting that than men. He's fixing his face right now. He's trying to convince me with his face. No, man. Okay, so let's say... Has anyone ever commented on you on any social site about your physical appearance? A male. Yeah. You want dessert? Wow. Okay. And when they commented, was the comment like, hey, let's get together, let's hang out, blah, blah, blah, or was it just, hey, you're beautiful? It would depend. There could be both, but there was probably more of, hey, you're beautiful, than the other. Okay, so this is where I'm going. And maybe not the word beautiful. So this is where I'm going. So women don't make the comments, hey, you're beautiful. If a woman says something that they like, from what I've experienced now, if a woman says something that they like, they're not commenting or inboxing or DMing, hey, you're beautiful. They're saying... If I say stuff, you have to say stuff. That is not fair. They are going deeper and saying, hey, you want this. Look at this. Wow. Women. Let me show you this. Ladies, come on now. They're not saying, hey, you're beautiful, no more. Or handsome. Okay, but we could talk about the dick pics I've been sent. So let's, I mean, which are totally un... You get a couple of them, too. And I know men, there's some men that would, I don't know why you're doing it, but hey, they do it. They're unsolicited, that's for damn sure. But women have... Why do guys do that? That's a whole lot of fuck. We do need to talk about that. But why do women do that, too? I mean, maybe we should be talking about that. Maybe we should. Because why do you go to that level? Like, where's the class? There is no more class. Well, I shouldn't say there is no more. But it's waning. It's the first thing that's brought up now. What, sex? Yeah, there's a different generation. I remember when I was a teenager, a long, long time ago, sex wasn't the first thing that was brought up. I remember having to ask the dad to go out on a date. I remember that. Oh, yeah. I'd go to the dad's house, I mean, go to the young lady's house and talk to the parents. And say, hi, my name is blah, blah, blah. I remember that. Yeah? Now? Nah. It's not that. That day has sailed. Well, that ship has sailed, so how do we get back there, then? I don't think that'll come back, Shell. Really? Nah. Nah. Well, I mean, with my daughter, I sure as hell expect those boys to act respectful or mama bear will come get them because daddy bear ain't around, but... You would hope... Oh, if they don't, they're going to have a problem. I'll say that much. I guess the question that would be asked is, what are the role models for it? Where are the role models, even for the young men? Yeah, it's not really given anymore to be a gentleman. I have a 16-year-old son, and I make sure he understands that this is not just because I'm telling you to do it. There's a reason behind this. Yes, you open the door. Yes, you do these certain things that I teach him to do, just being a man. Yeah, that's not taught anymore. No, I think that's true, but why? I wish I knew. I wish I knew. Because of the women's movement? I want to say yes and no on that, because women are independent. For sure, you're looking at one, but I mean... They'll kick you out the way, and be like, I got to open my own door. And you'll be like, oh, wait. I know, I've done that to you. You've done that to me. I have done that to you, haven't I? Yes, you have. I said, I want to get the door. I promise you, y'all. We would just be kicking up, like, I want to get your door. You want my door? But I think that's why a lot of men probably don't do it anymore. Chivalry is not even accepted anymore. But see, I think that I just started opening my own damn door, because it wasn't getting opened for me anyway. So I opened my damn door, and now I don't expect men to open my door anymore. Okay, ladies, y'all hear it? Boom, that's it right there. That's why. Men have not been consistent. My father, I don't think he opened the door for my mother. I don't really remember. Men have not been consistent in it. I choose to. And I want my sons... Well, I would really like it if someone would do that. I mean, I'm not saying I wouldn't like it. And I don't think it makes me any less of an independent woman for someone to do that. I am just so damn used to doing it that I do it. And it's no reflection on you that I didn't allow you to. It's just... No, I do it now. I know you do. I get her door now, y'all. And I'm just... I'm just late. I get her door. But listen, even if it's like for my daughters, I open the door for them because I want them to know that a man can do this for you because you're worth that. Yeah, that's what scares me because I don't have that in my daughter's life. And if I'm being completely honest, the fathers in this world have... Dropped the ball? Disappeared. I mean, I'm not talking about my own circumstance necessarily, but I'm just saying in general, dads have disappeared. And I'm not faulting anybody. I don't know your story. I'm just saying in general, as a general thing. And it could be the women's fault partially. I don't know. I mean, I don't know what every relationship has within it or the leftovers of it, but anyways. You're right. The men have disappeared. We've dropped the ball. We've said, hey, y'all got it. We're good. We're just waiting on you to call us when you want to do some lustful things. Man, I mean, I'd rather be honest with her. This is a woman that's sitting across from me. Why not tell her the truth? Because we have dropped the ball in that. We've got to pick the ball back up. And we need to. I'm not saying for every man to be a gentleman. I mean, some men just don't like that crap. I appreciate the fact that my daughters understand that she can be treated that way and respected that way. And I respect women in that way, not just her. Her mom was respected that way. She saw me with just people, period. She'll see me stand and hold the door at a grocery store or in any store for anyone because that's my character. So everybody may not have those characteristics. And I get it. I'm not going to get on their case about it. But I don't think that we should just kind of put everything in the woman's hand. I'm against that, though. We do need to pull our drawers up and, you know, step up to the plate. I think some of us have lost it as dads. You brought that up as dads. We've got to step up. Real talk. Well, I think that if I'm completely honest, I am a completely independent woman and I can do any damn thing and I will do it and I'll kill it and blah, blah, blah. Boom. However, I think that, and I totally believe women can do anything and should be anything and there should be no glass ceiling or any of that kind of stuff because we are very capable. But biblically, that's not how it should be. Right. And so I do think the feminist movement, not really the feminist movement, but the whole thing of women going into the workforce and all that stuff, and this is just my opinion so you don't have to agree, was a ploy to get more tax money into the government. Wow. And it worked. And so then they had to keep it working. And then the family started to fall apart. Again, these are just my opinions. You don't have to agree with them. Well, that's the good part about us having this platform. Right, but I can just hardly wait to see what people are going to say about that. There may be some, and we embrace those comments. We were talking about it off mic earlier how comments are what they are. They're comments. Yeah, and people are allowed to have opinions. Be respectful, but you're allowed to have opinions. Yeah, and we would hope. Right. Don't come after us and try to kill us. No. Well, I'm covered by the blood of Jesus so we can do whatever. But anyways, I do think that it's been kind of a trickle down, and we're still in the trickle, still trickling down. You know, there's been an attack on men for a long time, and now I think there's an attack on women. We can't even define what a woman is anymore. Give me an effing break. Come on, people. Those are very touchy things to talk about. But the fact of the matter is a woman is a woman and a man is a man, and they're two separate things. Yes. And we were made to complement each other. We were made to balance each other, and we were made for each other. Yes. And the woman was made as the weaker vessel. That does not mean she's weak. That is not what I'm saying. I'm just saying it was meant so that the man was the head, and he was to protect her. She didn't have to worry about protecting herself. Things of that nature. The natural man role and the natural woman role. A biblical answer to that. I mean, you're self-explanatory. Weaker vessel never meant weak. Right. I mean, thank you for explaining that. It meant smaller. Yeah. The capacity was small. You were a smaller being. It has nothing to do with strength. I think there's a lot of women out there that can kick a lot of ass, whether it's physical or emotional or spiritual or whatever. It has nothing to do with that. I agree. I agree. But in the design of the physical body and all of that, that's what it meant. The stature, smaller, all of that. The physicality is not what, you know, it's a compliment to him. It's not an overshadowing of him. Again, these are my opinions. Thank you. And the great part about it, again, is we can give it. This is a platform where we can give opinions. Don't like it? Okay, let's talk about it. Yeah, and I'm not trying to put anybody in a box. Like I said, women, I'm an independent woman. I'm not anti-women at all. I'm not anti-men. I'm actually trying to promote that we both get back to where it was supposed to be and where it started. And that's what my hope is, that we can see what we've had done to us in these last decades and try and recover from it. Yes, yes, and not be against each other. Right. But be for each other and really let each role fulfill its purpose. Right. The purpose, I believe, and these are my opinions, I believe the purpose of a woman was designed to nurture. Yes, I agree. The purpose of a man was designed to lead. Right. Period. I agree with that completely. That's my thoughts, and we have gotten away from that. We did away with that. It's something else now, but the good part about having this platform is that we can talk about it. Not expecting for everybody to agree with it. No. That's not going to happen. I think I just stated in a couple of podcasts ago that I understand that my thinking is different and not everyone is going to agree with it. Maybe your thinking is different. That's fine by me. I am not going to hate you or I'm not going to love you any less. We establish that we're peculiar anyway, so. I think you're different than probably any person I've met in quite a few years. Actually, I would say probably all my life there. I am different, and I'll admit I'm different. I don't always know that that's a good thing. Maybe it's just me, but it's so great. Why would you want to meet someone the same? Maybe I'm the only different person that thinks that way, but I don't want to meet the one just like me. I don't. I don't want to interact. I can't hang out with people that are just here. I want to go here. Yeah, I like learning from other people. I like hearing their stories. I like wondering what their life was about and how it made them who they are. Perfect. Yeah, that's interesting to me. So if you're meeting the same people doing the same thing, that's stagnant. Yeah, I agree. I would agree with that. So I am great. And some people like that, and that's comfortable for them, and that's great. There's nothing wrong with that. But do you want to say stagnant? It's my opinion. I don't want to say stagnant. Yeah. I like the fact that Shelby's completely different. It intrigues me to have conversation with her, to interact with her, to grow more with her. She's amazing. To ask her crazy, wild-ass questions that are extremely difficult to answer. Indeed. We thank you personally for... Because we went way over. We did. We thank you for tuning in to the Word of Mouth podcast. Hopefully something today sparked you to want to have a conversation with someone. Or resonated with you in some way. Yes. Hopefully it didn't piss you off. No, if it did, I'm glad. And I say that, I'm glad that it got your blood pumping. It dawned. Yeah. You may want to have a conversation with your spouse. You may want to have a conversation with your best friend. Maybe you're sitting in a beauty shop and you're like, Hey, what's this falling in love and out of love thing? Maybe you want to talk about the roles of a female, the roles of a male. Maybe you're still getting some pictures in your DMs. Don't take the pictures away. No, don't take the pictures away. Oh my God. Some of the stuff we talked about, man, maybe it'll spark a conversation. That's all we want to do. And we talk about it and we interact and we love on each other and keep it healthy. Keep it healthy. Try to. For sure. Suppressing all this stuff has caused me, and I'm going to preach this. When I suppressed all of these thoughts and feelings and stuff like that, it got me constipated in the spirit. That part right there. You need the Metamucil. Right, right. Some spiritual Metamucil. Oh my God. And I don't want to be constipated anymore, so I'm getting it all out of me. I'm getting it all out of me. You get it all out of you over there, okay? You stay on your side of the table. Oh my God. So with that, we love you. We do. Thank you so much for tuning in. Word of Mouth podcast. Nate and Shelby, we'll talk to you soon. Take care. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.