episode 2 season 2

The conversation revolves around the frustration that arises when people don't meet our expectations. The speakers discuss how their own expectations can lead to withdrawal and the need for others to take the first step in communication. They also touch on the importance of patience in relationships and the fear of rejection. Ultimately, they conclude that it's necessary to check oneself and initiate communication instead of expecting others to meet our expectations. 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maybe you don't understand how this goes. Because when you say you expect you from other people, but you get frustrated when they don't do it the way you want it done, that's hard. Even in responses, I expect for people to respond the way I would respond. And we know in this world today, everybody don't respond the way... No, you expect me to pick up the phone when you call. That part. Go to the last podcast, you'll hear me. So you would think that people would kind of at least catch on, or why do we get so frustrated about that? Well, okay, if we talk about it, honestly, don't you think that it has to do with the depth of the relationship and how frustrated we get? The degree of frustration or aggravation has to do with the depth of the relationship. Because you, me not picking up the phone, right? Like we're friends. Like that bothered you, I'm sure. You know, you haven't said anything about it, but because we're discussing this, I'm just going to say it did, right? So, but if it was your significant person in your life, it probably would affect you to a greater degree than just it being me. Because you're expecting that person to know you... That's really good. To a greater extent, and so therefore you expect more out of them. So you're saying that it only bothers you when it's someone close? I'm not saying it only bothers you, but I'm saying there's degrees. Okay. These levels. Yeah. Okay. Because of the connection you have with that person. Okay. The degree of connection you have. I get it. So the degree of relationship or whatever you want to call it. Okay. So now that you said it in that perspective, let me ask a question. And you were using me and you for an example. Yeah. If I, which I wasn't. I promise you I'm not affected. It was conversation. No, I was using that as an example. If I'm a person that liked to talk instead of text... Right. For anyone, even my children, even people that I work with, whatever may have you. Should I be frustrated at everyone? Because I'm that kind of person, but they're not. Should I be frustrated at everyone? Not just you, or not just a significant other, but everyone? Because the generation that we live in... You're going to be really pissy if you're like that. True. Yeah. I found myself talking to my kids like, hey, I told my son, don't send me another text. You call me and you tell me what's going on. Don't send me another text. But see, there's a degree to the relationship. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And so you expect more from him. You're right. Yeah. And there's a degree of respect that you're expecting as well, which could be, whether it's your son or your daughter or your wife or your husband or whatever, but there's a degree of respect that you're expecting there as well. And so that makes it, that frustration, that much stronger. Wow. So do you think I need to stop expecting me out of everybody else? Hello, can I raise my hand too? Because, yeah. I pick you. Go ahead. Yeah. I'll pick you as tribute. Yeah. Wow. I think all of us may have struggled in that area. Do you think everybody does that? I think so. Really? Because I'm part of our life. Because we do want the same reciprocation sometimes. Yeah. If I'm a nice person and no one's nice to me, I'm a little frustrated. Well, yeah. But I also think that being a nice person, if you know you're a nice person, you've got to expect that there's going to be people taking advantage of you. Yeah, but if I never receive it? Okay. Me and Shelby have a mutual friend that may have, she didn't like accolades. She don't like to be praised. She doesn't like the limelight. And she is going to listen to this and she's probably going to smile when she hears this part. So, when I picked up on it, I made it my business to compliment her more, to tell her how amazing she is, how wonderful she is in what she does in her job, so she is as a person, a parent, a wife, you know, just all of the things that she is. And I've noticed that she's accepting the compliments more. Good for you. I've noticed that. So, should I just be patient and wait for reciprocation instead of me getting frustrated of expecting the me out of everybody else? I think there's some truth in that. There are some relationships that you do need to be patient about, because you don't, especially if you're pursuing a relationship with someone, you're not going to know everything about that person or how they're going to handle stuff or what triggers them or whatever that stupid word. You love that word. I don't know. So, I do think, yes, there are certain instances you do have to have patience about it and see if it improves. So, we definitely need to cultivate more and not get frustrated so quickly. I think overall we just need to chill, man, like relax. We're so ready to throat punch everybody in the world nowadays over everything. Just chill, man. Just chill, man. Just chill, man. Yeah, we do. And I'm speaking to myself when I say that, too, because I need to chill. Oh, really? Yeah. Share. You need to chill now. You're always chill. No, I am not. Don't lie to me. Oh, my God. Well, I'm noticing the things that I see in the world now is we're not patient enough to wait. We're not patient enough anything. Right. So, how can we chill? And our patience is going to continue to erode because we're getting everything instantaneously. I think you just answered all the questions. And, you know, I'm going to be completely honest. I know right now that God is working on me because with the patience thing, right? Don't ever pray for patience. That's like the worst. Oh, my God. And I mean, I haven't for years, decades, but at one point I did. Anyways, I do know that he is working me on the patience department right now in relationships, like working me. Working me. Did you hear that? Working me. Working me. Patience is a very meaty, powerful word. It's a bad word. If you want it. It's a bad word. It's a bad word. If you want patience, I mean, you've got to be ready. You've got to be ready. I don't know that I want it. But I think we all need it. Yes, we do. Absolutely. Especially if you're trying to do things on God's timing. There's no way. You know what I love about, and here's his scriptural reference, David. David spoke so much about patience. Waiting. I think it's Psalms. Psalms chapter 40. He says, I waited. Verse 1 says, I waited patiently. You have waited, and then you have patiently. So he doubled down. He doubled down. Yes. The biggest part in just that sentence alone is even if we wait, are we patient? Good Lord. You see me rolling my eyes right now. Yes, we're going to go video soon. You know, that's not going to be a good thing. Y'all are going to see my face. I do not have a poker face. Y'all are going to be like, oh, I see where that really hit her there. You saw her eyes right there? We're going to get a whole lot of comments. Yes. Are we patient in waiting for people to see it the way we see it? That's the topic in which we're on today. I at least want people to see it the way that I'm saying it to them or see it the way I'm expressing it to them. But is that expecting you out of them, or is that just a thing? I think it's expecting me, because if you see it the way I see it, hopefully you'll respond the way I respond. And it hasn't been successful for me. Because the stuff that I see, I'm different. I see stuff different. Yeah. Yeah. And I have to... Peculiar. Yes. We are peculiar. We are different. We are. We are completely different from the world. And I think that because I'm such a peculiar person, I see so many things different that I expect for everybody else to see it the same way. And that is frustrating, if I'll be completely honest. That is frustrating to me because no one sees it that way. See, I don't really... I kind of see that opposite. Tell me. I don't give a jit. Period! Boom! Where's the boom? There's no boom. There's just crickets. Oh, my God. I just don't, like, I don't expect people to see things the way I do. I don't think. I expect people to love the way I do, though, and that's where I get really messed up. Yeah. Because that ain't... That ain't cool. How does that work for you? Do you see? I'm divorced. Torture? Love the way you do? God, that's torture. That is self-torture. Oh, God. Not love the way you do? No. Really? You know my mom's going to listen to this, and she's going to be like, you laugh way too much. I can't get past the laughing. We might have to do a part two to this, because love the way you do? How frustrated are you all the time? Like, all the time? Well, I'm not in a relationship right now, so I guess I'm pretty okay. Oh, my God. Okay. There's perspective, but... Yes. There are perspectives. So let me ask one more question in that, especially because you said you expect people to love the way you do. Would that trigger a response if they don't love the way you do? Yes, I withdraw. Whoa. Uh-huh. Okay. Uh-oh. Okay. So if you are, whether it's a relationship, can I speak even from a friendship? Can I speak from a person that you work with? You can speak however you want. However it goes, if they don't show similarities to the love that you have, what's your response again? I withdraw. How do they know? The island. You know the island. Yeah, but how do they know? Oh, they'll find out when I stop talking. Oh, my God. Okay. When I get quiet, it's a problem. Got you. So you don't tell them first? No, I'm not that mature yet. Boy, I love this podcast. We're honest. We're open. Who says that? I'm getting there. I'm getting there. But, yeah. Wow. Wow. Man, that's so honest. I want to say that I'm going to be single the rest of my life. No, I won't. Everybody's like, I ain't touching that girl in the transfer poll. Oh, my God. I want to say that that's such an honest statement, and I think so many people can relate to that, and they probably don't want to admit it. But as I look, even just take a self-evaluation of me, I may have done that as well, that I don't communicate that I've left you. Here. I'm sorry. In my mind. I'm pointing at my mind. I've left you, and you don't even know. And I ain't said nothing to you. I just left. Okay, so with me, if I start to withdraw, and I don't say anything, it's usually because I'm waiting to see if there's going to be a difference on the other side. Like, if you're going to pick up on it and not change, but make an effort. If you get quiet, you know the other person is going to get quiet, too, right? That's what's happened in the past. Get quiet. I'm going to get quiet, and then we'll both be quiet. I don't think that they'll know. Okay. Well, I don't like being vulnerable like that. I got it. I got it. I got it. And it's making sense. It's making sense. We're addressing a lot of things that I know we'll probably have to work on, too, because I hope that someone knows that if I get quiet, I need you to say something. I heard a song. Uh-oh. Who sings this song? Girl, you know it's true. No, not really. It may be Christina. I don't know who it is, but it's the song, the chorus that says, Say something, I'm giving up on you. Oh, that's a hit, man. Wow. Like, I need you to say something. Anything. Because I'm quiet, but you've got to say something, because if you don't say something, I'm not going to say anything. And we're just going to go our separate ways. Oh, man. Back on the island I go. I'm going to get my hula skirt. Wow, wow, wow. Are we bold enough to say something? Because we expect us from someone else, so maybe we need to check ourselves first, because if we're going to act this way, but we're expecting them to do something different, then we've got to do something different, too. I'm talking to me. No, you're not. You're talking to me. You're looking at me the whole time, and you're telling me. I really am talking to me, because if I expect them to do something different, then I've got to do something different, too. I said I'm getting there. I'm trying. I'm getting better. It's just not perfect yet. Oh, we're talking to pretty much everybody, but the good part about me and her having this conversation is that it's us as well. It's us. Everything we talk about. Yes. This is us. Wow. Isn't that a show? This is us. That used to be a really good show. I stopped watching it a while back, though. Yeah, I like that show. This is us. Yeah, we've got to say something. That was a powerful lyric, because I keep hearing that song in my head. I know. Me, too. Say something. I'm giving up on you. Wow. Boy, I've said that in my head so many times, hoping that they say something. That's like my mantra. Whoa. Man, that's truth. Oh, my God. But we never say anything, and sometimes we lose out. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. We lose out on something. Potentially, that was said by God. We lose out on growth. That's me. Because I was afraid. Fear. I was. Fear. Yeah. Fear is big. Yeah. Indeed. I don't want to be in that place. I got in that place the other day. I was hightailing it back to my island. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, this just hit hard. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. Oh, here's a good one. I want you to be the first. Prove yourself. In my Shelby voice, that's a form of fear, too, because we're afraid of rejection. Oh, I'm talking Shelby. This is all Shelby right here. Oh, my God. And you're talking to me, too. Wow. Because we don't want to feel that rejection, so we don't want to be the bigger person. We want someone else. And it just takes forth something simple, a simple statement, a simple text. Now you've got to call Nate. A simple call, please. Yes. A call. Something simple instead of expecting the us out of someone else. Maybe we need to check ourselves. Well, yeah, absolutely. But, you know, like the other day, I was getting on my island, and it was all because of fear, fear-driven, completely fear-driven. And I sat in my sulking for a little bit. And then the next morning, I was like, no, damn it. I'm not doing this crap anymore. I am going to be me. I'm going to be 100 me. 100. 100. And I'm going to not overthink, and I'm just going to be authentic me. Period. And whatever people do about it, I will. It is what it is. Yep. You can't go wrong with being authentic you. And I tend to be pretty authentic, but when it comes to my heart being involved, it's scary. Just like for everybody else. Everybody. Yeah. Yeah, because your heart is there. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. This is a big area. This is a big area. And I do everything with my heart, which is another issue for me, because if I am expecting people to love like I love, and my heart is involved in almost everything I do, there's a lot of disappointment there. Yes, indeed. Ouch. That's an ouch. Ouch. Yeah. I pray for you. Man, that's a lot of disappointment, because you'd be let down a whole lot. Sometimes, yeah. I think I'm over that, though. I don't think that bothers me as much. I think it's just the romantic relationships that it bothers me. Okay. Okay. Because of that, you know, what we talked about, the depth of the relationship qualifies the depth of the frustration or quantifies. Oh, wow. I just love Shelby. She's amazing. I am not. I'm just so real. I'm just me. I don't know if it's going to be Season 2 or 3 or whenever, but we just want to have, we're going to call it, time with Shelby. Oh, my gosh. And y'all are going to fall asleep. You're going to be bored out of your mind. You're going to have just time just to hear how... Stupid I can be. No, how honest, how authentic. You give it, and then you think about it, because you didn't already gave it. So even with editing this, we can't, because it's already out there. There's no editing. What are you talking about? Right. You just give it raw. I know. You can't even go back on it when you give it. I don't do anything like that. I don't live my life that way. That's why. We just need an hour with Shelby. No. We do not. One hour. No. We're just talking about... Especially not with cameras on, because everybody will read my face. Oh, my God. If you haven't went to her TikTok page, I need you to definitely go to her TikTok page. You'll get it, Shelby, because sometimes her expressions may tell on her a little bit. Give me away. It does. But I love it. I love it. So today, as we have kicked off already, season two, I would say personally, before we begin to expect us out of someone else, we need to check ourselves. That's what I got from... Absolutely. And I think that expecting us from someone else is mainly because we're so aware of ourselves, right? Or in ourselves. So we're not thinking about why they could be responding differently or what's making them respond the way they are, you know what I mean? Yes. We don't think about the circumstances in their life. We're just thinking about us. That's kind of selfish. No. Pretty selfish there. Pretty selfish. Just call me out, Nate. Come on. Let's go. So, ladies and gentlemen, let's check ourselves first before we can... Check yourself before you wrap yourself. Come on. We don't have a wrapping up. Oh, God. Nobody wants that. Let me tell you that. Nobody. Oh, my goodness. Check yourself. Check yourself. Before you wrap yourself. You expect you out of someone else. Don't do what I do. Learn from me. Check yourself before you wrap yourself. Check yourself before you wrap yourself. Check yourself before you wrap yourself. Check yourself before you wrap yourself. Check yourself before you wrap yourself. Check yourself before you wrap yourself. Check yourself before you wrap yourself. Check yourself before you wrap yourself. Check yourself before you wrap yourself. Check yourself before you wrap yourself. 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