episode 18 season 2-friendship

The hosts of the Word of Mouth podcast discuss the topic of friends and the difference between friends, acquaintances, and buddies. They reflect on their own experiences with friendship and the challenges they have faced. They also discuss the importance of discerning true friends and setting boundaries to protect oneself. They highlight the role of Jesus as a friend who sticks closer than a brother. They also touch on maintaining friendships with the opposite sex and the ability to keep boundaries in those relationships. Oh What it do welcome to word-of-mouth podcast Hello again, this is Nate Shelby we are back in the building and Technically, we never left True we didn't leave but we're back with a Another episode of word-of-mouth and we just gonna get grimy with it. We're gonna dig into it We love talking about things that are comfortable and uncomfortable And so this particular episode we're gonna talk about Friends Yes that and that is a song I heard that back in a day and I really didn't know what it meant Until I was faced with that situation How many of us have them friends? now I think we need to know the difference between a friend and an associate Or friend acquaintance and acquaintance, yeah a friend and a Buddy Some people use those interchangeably, so I don't know. Well, I mean, you know the Bible didn't say hey, you know, I Died for my buddy. No For my friend so For a friend he didn't say I live my life for a queen Come on Thank you for tuning in to work Yes, so y'all know it's already started we don't cry me on here talking about Friends a lot of us may have thought we had friends, but let's dig into it. Let's dig into it Shelby I had a question. Oh always Um, yes, I do have friends. So don't ask me that Yeah, I was gonna ask that now, um, have you ever had a friend that turned out To not be a friend a backstabber. Oh Fake I didn't say I Think we've all experienced that. Okay. Yeah, okay So what is your definition of a friend like when someone is a friend to Shelby? What's your definition of a friend? And are you that same person? Um, honestly, I have a pretty general Thought about friends like I Don't know. I consider you a friend if we've had more than three conversations. Honestly, I'm just like now You know, we talked about degrees off my degrees of friendship That doesn't mean I'm gonna pour my heart out to you Yeah, or let down my walls or let you see my soft underbelly. That's kind of not prettiest part of me, but yeah, I I I Don't know I guess I'm kind of lenient with that. Hmm that word It sounds like it. Yeah, it sounds like it. I can't honestly say that. I'm that that way No, I don't I don't think but I mean I I want to hear more about that because I have a different perspective than That like okay We I've heard us talk about my friend mark Yes, the red canary. He's my friend now at first. It was my dude. I Would see him and he'd be picking up against the window and all he's been to me is an annoyance But I begin to build something with Mark now to where I I want to see him and I saw him on this wire Quite a few times since I've been here and I believe that he's a friend to me like he has to show his presence when I That's a little God thing just me and him what's really God I believe it I believe it's God saying hey Got you. I got you You don't have me shouting. So I'm gonna shift cuz every time I see that bird I promise you That's what I'm gonna think about every single time I Almost got emotional look look so that's yet 1717 Proverbs 17 17, let's read some scripture a friend loves at all times and a brother is born from for a time of adversity What does that mean a a friend loves at all times? But a brother is born for adversity or For For a time of adversity if I was to break that down just my definition of that There are people that are placed in our life for certain things I call them assignments and There have been people that I grew up with that I'm still connected to to this day that our Relationship with each other is strictly one thing It's just that one thing one dynamic one dynamic. That's it I can call that person and that's the only thing I'm calling them for and that's just it and they Take enjoyment from that if they call me same thing. We take enjoyment on just that particular thing And that's how I kind of see the second part of that Scripture that brother because he's my brother. He's my brother But I can't honestly say he's a friend because a friend to me has a little bit more than just one Component we share multiple things and With a friend I'm able to be Nate Nathan Oh, mr. Brown, whatever you want to call me right big dog big dog but whatever it is, I'm able to be those things without judgment and Because the scripture says that I'll be loved by that friend at all times So that means it's unconditional Unconditional see I see it opposite tell me a Friend loves at all times, but a brother is born for times of adversity Mm-hmm. So to me that brother is an actual blood brother like a sibling Because I believe that your family Always has your back even though in your face. They may not but in times of adversity They are the ones that you're gonna go to That's actually really good I don't I didn't see it that Wow and He gives us blood brothers or actual brothers You just told my No, that's like so amazing that's just my Immediately you think about your family when you're going through something whether it's you know situation You want to call your brother or your sister or something to that sort? And when you have that thought Let's say when I was a kid and I grew up with all sisters at that time I would call my sisters immediately if I had a situation that happened at school But I have friends at school I didn't call them Well, no, I remember when I was little I was getting picked on all the time and One day my big brother went to school with me. Oh, yeah So I'm actually go with what you just said. That's actually a better way of saying that I didn't see it from that perspective Because they were Built for that your siblings. I believe is built for that. Yeah, I mean you can be friends with your siblings How often does that happen? I? Mean I love my brothers. I'm not saying nothing but let's be real Cuz it they're your siblings so they don't always be And They've experienced stuff with you that no one else has and vice versa You've experienced stuff with them that no one else has and you've seen all different facets all different facets of them and vice versa You're right And even you know, you're you're probably experiencing different facets than even your spouse is going to experience because you Were in a different stage of life with your siblings than you are with your spouse or you were with your spouse Wow You're absolutely You know if I can speak upon in transparency if I can speak upon even having a I have two siblings that have passed away and The one that was close closer in age with me One of my older siblings I thought me and her were closer than the oldest and the youngest because we were in the middle So I thought we had a closer connection but our connection was still sibling and Not friends. I mean, of course, you know says I love her But I don't think we have a friendship like that. It was just that's my sister Period well, and I think you know, I mean if I relate to my own relationships with my brothers I There's quite a bit of difference between us and age. I think nine and seven years and so I'm kind of like the whoops You know or you know Like the second family, I don't know but I remember My brothers and I were never real close, but at one point my youngest brother and I Became really close or at least I felt that way and then a girlfriend came along and I got really jealous of her because it was like I Just got to be like a friend with my own brother Yeah That's why I think it's kind of hard for the friends to take place because we have to build lies But that's how God designed the relationship. We're not supposed to be friends, right? We're supposed to be Brothers or sisters or whatever? Your analogy is amazing. You just made that point. So So great because it wasn't designed that way, right? God so good He's got this Good let's jump into that a little more. Is that a friend loved at all times? Yep all times. Hmm so I Think that's when we started challenging the fact of those people that we call friends Are they friends now you mentioned earlier that you were lenient when it comes to that? Yeah Explain that a little bit more especially with that scripture in mind. Well, I can't really explain it except for I can say that you know People talk about having enemies and I really don't consider myself having any enemies I never have I Just don't now there might be people out there They hate my guts and and and they very well may and maybe I completely deserve it I'm not saying I don't you probably got I'm scared and they won't tell you to oh, I don't know about that But I just I don't consider myself having enemies. So if I don't have any enemies, it's never been in my friend No, no No, not at all I mean, I mean like not like a friend friend, but Well, that's where discernment comes in yes, yes, I would say that they are in your words acquaintances Co-workers But they are not all your friends You carry I'm gonna get off this you carry way too much for everybody to be your friend I'll leave it right there. Okay. Okay, you drip with way too much Your anointing is way too powerful for everybody to be your friend You draw jealousy out. I don't okay Anyways, I don't but yeah, there are degrees to friends. There are degrees. Yes. I agree with that You've got some super tight friends and then you've got some that are just yeah And like you said, there's some you go to for certain things only that involves certain aspects of your life only So do you call everybody a friend up front and then give them a chance to get to certain levels Like everybody walks in as a friend. Well, I don't think it's something I've ever really considered before I don't call everybody a friend, but You know, I don't I just I don't know. I don't define anybody as anything different than that. So Okay, I'm wonky it's okay So I Guess my experience is I've saw both sides. I saw people that wanted to be closer as a friend to Get something from me. Oh, yeah. I've saw people Hate my guts and Pretended to be a friend and then I saw genuine authentic people that Because those other two areas I was burned that it Made them stand out Yeah Well, I think true friendship is a test of time. It's a you have to determine it over. I agree experiences and You know, but I do believe everybody has a purpose in your life everybody yes, I mean I'm the kind of person I believe everything is ordained by God every word that comes out of your mouth or even when I say bad words Sometimes it has a purpose Amen it's speaking to someone. I don't know But I believe every step you take all that stuff So I believe that they're absolutely every conversation and every person in your life is there for a reason Even if it's just for that 30 seconds or whatever And and yeah, so I'm an odd bird about that, but that's just how I see things. Oh, I Can't agree with that from an assignment purpose, right? But you don't consider them all friends no, right, yeah And there's a reason I explained it because I saw different aspects of it. Oh, I've been used in abuse Don't get me wrong, right? And I know you you have your Can I say your heart? Is more pure than mine No, I wasn't gonna say that naive no, no, I don't think you're naive you carry too much discernment I do believe that you give everyone a chance. I do I Do yeah, that's facts And that's okay, but sometimes I'll watch you on the side of my eye to that. Thank you Thank you. I'm gonna look at you and yeah, I'll be Yeah, that's that that's probably the best part so I appreciate that more and to be and I can call myself Your friend to be that friend. I don't want people to take advantage of the Authentic heart that you have. Well, I think that's a good point I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point Of the authentic heart that you have Well a friend wouldn't want anybody to take advantage of their friend period right the bad part That's not allowed that a turn me green. Oh, yeah. I want nobody hurting you That's a friend that's a friend yeah, yeah and those people I don't come by a lot though because Now you've worked your way Yourself that's true that that is true and I have to But I think I'm more open to it than you are Yeah, you are. I think I got burned a little a little too much because I kept saying I'll give another chance I'll give another chance. I'll try this thing again It started to hurt yeah, yeah, and I have I have big-time loyalty I'm similar to you Like I'll keep giving them chances and giving them chances and giving it until I'm like beat down and stomped on and you know Whatever. I don't do it as much Anymore, but I do like I I have a pretty forgiving heart. Wow. Well, I think you do too You just you just sealed yours up a little bit I do forgive but do know I'm gonna get burned that way again, but I'll forgive you And that's okay. You're allowed to do that Absolutely people have to protect themselves. Yes There has to be boundaries. It's not that's not a bad thing. Amen Man thank you for saying that cuz yeah, I protect and I may I may and Shelby can say it to me because she knows She's had an opportunity to discern all of me I may protect quite a bit maybe over protective When you're giving me hand signals at the ministry But I When you when you're my friend, you're you're really my friend and I don't I hate to lose friends, especially real people There was a time in my life where I thought I had people that would really be there and They wasn't when the smoke cleared Wasn't there? Yeah, and that sucks. That's that hurt. I forgive them that that pain allowed me and I I use the pain to produce a level of Productivity so I just kept going instead of Waddling in it that helped me to forgive However, I won't subject myself to that again Is that Unforgiveness or that protection? No, you just said you forgave them. Yes So for me, it's just protection. So either we're supposed to learn from shit, right? You're not supposed to repeat the same stupid right over and over again, right? so if you're repeating the same stupid and you Keep getting the same result, isn't that insanity? That's expecting a different result. That's it. Let's go So yeah, we're not supposed to open ourselves up to that's abuse. I mean really that is Yeah, so I God doesn't want that for us any for anybody. Amen. That's not how he wants relationships to be Yes, I guess that's why I take friendship very serious if I call you a friend like I ain't leaving Right It's kind of hard for me to disconnect from that. No, I understand that I get it and I think yeah That's what true friendship is And it is a rarity. I mean, honestly, I don't think it's the bulk of our relationships as friends, right? Right, but it's a rarity, right? Like, you know, we've talked off Mike I have two friends new girlfriends from middle school that we still We're still our friends and we always will be and we have had falling out We have had times when we did not talk to each other for years but we've grown we've matured all that and and life has changed and I Love them to death and I would do anything for them. And I think they would do the same for me And it's you know It is a true friendship where like you can go without talking and then you can just pick up and and that's where you're at Go through whatever And deal with whatever like you said, we've fallen out. We did this and that but at the end of the day Look at how many times did Jesus get frustrated? With all those disciples Peter warning kept saying man. Come on You can't get behind me Satan you don't get it like he was frustrated but he still considered them as friends These are my Even Judas and he knew what was coming this man got close enough to kiss him. Okay Back to the close combat of the yes, it does Hmm Friends there was another scripture that I believe was in 18 and 2024. Okay One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother Now see this contradicts the previous Because this is a friend sticks closer than a brother. There is a friend. Yes that sticks closer than a brother And the previous one the breath while the brother's born for adversity, so I guess that's a little different not contradictory Well, who is that friend that will stay closer than a brother? When you meet him, can you send it my way That's all I see on that scripture where Jesus is the one that will stay closer than a brother at At times where we say man, and we just talked about loneliness when I have no one What's the old him what a friend we have Like all my friends I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm just kidding What a friend we have Like all my sins and like you you hear that and you as you mature and as you understand He's never going to leave He's never gonna forsake you when people walk out that gives me hope that when he do send people Into my life that I can truly see Past the pain of what I've been through right? Yes, and see that God sent those people Yeah, it gives me hope now So when I see that scripture, I'm like, okay. Well, he has stick closer when everybody left Yeah, and you know, I was just sorry. I was reflecting on something because God told me a few months ago Like I'd been doing the online dating and stuff and and and I've told you this before That you know, I said Lord use me in these men's lives for your benefit not for mine That was from the onset and quite a few of them I guess became we became friends because We had gone out together, but things didn't you know, the chemistry wasn't there or whatever but we still continued to talk and they would Come to me with stuff or whatever and share stuff with me like I was a sounding board Which I didn't mind at all. I They were great people and whatever But there was a day that God said no They're in your rearview now. Now. There's only three people That you need to carry forward and they gave me names Wow and The rest need to stay in the rearview Yeah, no one of them just texted me yesterday, which I thought I Mean I didn't block them or anything because I I like I said, I believe everything is ordained by God And so if if they're reaching out to me for something, I figured there's a need there's a reason and it's not because of me But anyways, yeah, I just thought that was kind of funny but that's you know, the friendship thing Like I can be friends with anybody. I'm much like you we have that personality where we can People are drawn to us, right? But yeah for God to say no, we're gonna we're gonna stop that right now that's kind of like your assignments done. Yeah And that's how it sounded it kind of leads to the next part of this Segment, how can the opposite sex remain? friends When you I don't have a problem with it. I was raised with boys So I I'm drawn more to male energy than boom Let's talk about that female energy and I think honestly if I'm being honest Women have all females have always kind of had an adverse reaction to me. Like I I don't know why I don't know I don't I don't know So I've never like my only two girlfriends that I've been close with that I forever Those are the only two that have stuck now. I have girlfriends one of which we both work with and I love her Absolutely, but I just think I am I am more set up to understand The male perspective maybe because of my upbringing. I don't know more comfortable with it. Uh-huh And I am perfectly capable of keeping boundaries. I Always wanted to ask a woman that a woman that says that she would prefer Not to say that you're taking away from the girl that you have but you would prefer Male friends, that's just my comfort zone No, that's actually really really good But like I said, I can I can keep boundaries. I don't have to I Don't know what they're thinking. Mm-hmm. I just know what I'm thinking and I'm thinking genuine Friendships, so there's not a sexual whatever going on there for me Well, that's I think that's the biggest conflict and fellas hear what she's saying that's the biggest conflict that we have with male female Most of the men I've met are absolutely adamant that you cannot have a relationship. That's platonic with a woman Because they all want something. Yeah, they can want it, but that doesn't mean they're gonna get it And I don't think that they all want it well, maybe they do at the onset but once they realize I mean But that ain't gonna happen. I Still think there can be genuine connections between people that doesn't have to lead into sex. I agree with that, too I 100% agree with that. I Have had a female friends meant that I still have to this day that I will consider a friend However It's not seen From the outside looking in it's not seen as That's okay People would view us the way we cut up the way we kick it if we were out somewhere We were just you know, we we go get tacos and we hang it out and we're laughing to kick it Yeah Because of the natural assumption, too I think that is you know, that is a man moving together, but people take that and they run with I mean You know the world we live in today. You can't you can't just Hang out with somebody or have a conversation with the opposite sex and people don't immediately You can't even hang out with the same sex because then you're together, too In there all loving on each other Yeah, we do love each other but not that way Not that there's anything wrong with it. I'm not making any judgments. I'm just saying it's an assumption that can be made across the board. Yeah Yeah, I take back everything I just said because that is so true you're gonna assume whether it's male female male male female female It don't matter But I do applaud you for having the tenacity and the Setting the boundaries in which you have within yourself that you can keep things with a male platonic I give you that and I think a lot of women can men men You have to apply self-control Respect is of the utmost importance. Absolutely if you lose respect, I mean what there's it's not French That's not yeah, exactly, right? There's no respect. That's yeah Self-control is a major thing And I think that it can happen. Like when do we get out of the? When do we put boundaries on what we can't do Like we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us I can have? About self-control. Yeah. Okay. I can have an amazing friendship with you and not want to get in your underwear But we can do that I think we get caught up in the What people think? Well, and I think for you and I it's a kind of different thing because there is a spiritual yes yeah, then a lot of relationships don't have like this is a Divine Appointment so it's a little different but and that's where everybody to understand man. Shelby is my girl, man Look, you mess with her It's all and I'm sister Friend I'm gonna got all of the above like it's my girl. I don't let her in But yeah, but it's yeah, it's a totally different situation. Yeah Facts yeah, but I don't I don't understand why men and women can't be friends From a male perspective I do It's looked at different it's just and it's the way remember we were talking about how It's the uncomfortableness we talked about it a couple of podcasts ago where Guys feel a certain way about even making a comment It's the uncomfortableness of and I can't be seen the other day me and Christy Who we work with? But um We're at the church together. We're talking. We're interacting. We're kicking and we could have been been there two three hours They don't even really matter at the time But not only is she an immediate person of of employment, but also she's a dear person to my heart Could it be taken different that we're walking out the church laughing kicking and having a good time I open the door to her car let her in make sure she get all say it's just my nature period But could that have been taken different? absolutely But I don't care. I know she don't care. I love her husband look Yeah, but why is it that everything have to be taken in such a weird way? In any capacity because we're so wrapped up in the world So now we can't have friends I Can I Will say though that I mean I am of the belief that yes men and women can be friends, but if I feel That it's going the wrong direction Or if there's any disrespect. Oh, I will kick you to the curb all the way. Hey, man That's a good thing that's a good thing or I will at least say um Just a little reminder This ain't what that is So don't get it twisted. Yeah, don't get it twisted You'll be assisting yourself to the curb That's my foot Throat punch coming out Now that's a kick oh So I believe that it can happen as well. I'm with you 100% I think though that we also have to address the fact that it is dependent on a Significant relationship or not outside of the French so like you and I are both Technically Video right there Single So if there were to be others involved in our lives that were Significant relationships That could influence our friendship, so would it change the dynamic I think it's very possible Based upon the relationship that you have with someone else that it would change Our dynamic is friends. I Think that there are certain shifts that could occur. I don't and it it would be out of respect to that person, right? So that's I think where it gets sticky I agree and even I can go further with that even if you if it's your girlfriend say if it's one of your girlfriends and they get married or whatever and You know y'all still hanging out and the spouse don't like her to hang out with you anymore. Yeah, right That can get sticky. Yeah, I Don't know if I'm based that Personally I've not hit that road before where Someone said I couldn't be free or they had a apprehension about me being Well, I think It all boils down to communication and that you have to be honest with the person you're involved with and say look this is I'm just being honest. This is kind of Getting me a little bit It's kind of not sitting you know and Then you'd have to Work that out. So so with a potential significant other of yours and this is why I'm discussing them I'm discussing the man and woman friendship thing. Mm-hmm about why it's difficult why people frown upon it I think that has it has to do with that With with having other relations significant relationships in their life. Yeah I've never faced it, but I agree with that and it actually makes sense. So would you have apprehension if Your potential significant other quote-unquote Had female friends I've thought about that and I don't know that I would because My philosophy has always been if the friendship comes before the relationship like if they've been friends Prior to me coming into that person's life Then I don't I wouldn't necessarily be concerned because that relationship has been established that friendship has been established Long before me, right? so Chances are it would have run its course already, right? Now if it's a friendship that comes long after I Might be a little skeptical if I'm being completely honest You're already I'm like if you're together and if I'm with someone and I've been with that person for a while and I meet a friend That is of the opposite sex To be in respect with the person that I'm with She would have to meet us both. Yeah, she would have to kind of interact with us both, right? Yeah For the respect of the person that I'm with right and I'm all about the respecting of the person that I'm in relationship with I'm not that Of utmost importance Of the respect yeah. Yes. I Don't know if I'll feel the same way I Share what you the other day I'll go on record to say it. I'm just not a jealous guy A significant other can have a million friends. I feel like if If I'm doing what I supposed to do Yeah, and I think there is a there definitely security plays into that is, you know being secure in yourself Definitely plays into that Yes, and that's probably going to determine. Yeah, that's the determining factor right And I I also am kind of of the theory of if they're gonna do it they're gonna do it and Yank, I know about it until Especially if it's a sneak I mean they don't Like to think that they wouldn't be that stupid but I would hope you would hope and I would like to think that they're gonna Live like I do but not everybody does so All right, I want to shift over I want to shift over into friends in the church Can you have friends that you go to church with true friends that you fellowship with at church I can we're talking about the building. Of course, of course I can okay, but I don't know that much many people can okay Cuz I'm I am who I am so you get me at full face value whether we're in church or not But you just kind of answer the question and that was gonna be the next question. Like do you have to be a certain way? To have that kind of friendship and then if they see you outside cuz we're still human and so they see you inside, you know the four walls and And they build this persona of what you should be or what you are exactly and then they see you at home And you kick back chillin on your porch having a glass of wine Yeah, like man, and you're out you're out of the building, right? Yeah no, I think that I Think I think it's a you know, it's probably not a real easy thing to do If you're Not authentic You know, we're trying to keep up appearances that's what I struggle with The position that I held in the church was a very high position of the pastor so I couldn't befriend people Yeah pastors have a real difficult Yeah, I couldn't have those just regular friendship we should be people like we're people right Why can I have a friendship? because people exalted you unfairly and That's what we do with pastors we exalt them like they're not really they're beyond human. They're They're more knowledgeable. They're more wise. They're more whatever Opposite of what Jesus taught like they knew that he was the Son of God, but these disciples like he he washed their feet Right, like he was just about serving. Yeah come out the pedestal come out the admonishing, you know humans and just understand that I Know I know the assignment and the seat is different because I do have to shepherd however You're telling me I can't be human Outside of these walls. I don't think that it's necessarily Pastors that have done it. I mean there are some pastors that exalt themselves Absolutely. Mm-hmm. I think it's more of what we've done the religious Religion has done that has created this exaltation of Anyone who gets in a pulpit So if you saw your pastor at the pool hall shooting pool, can you shoot pool with him hang out and kick it? I could But do you think that people will see that different? Oh, yeah for sure. I'm shooting pool. Yeah Well, you know goes back to what I've said believers are some of the judgiest people I Worked at a place called Couple of years ago here in Tennessee and so homeless shelter and Some of the most genuine loving Friends I met even to the like one that we see all the time Roy Those It's crazy to say that I would Be around people like that all the time But isn't that that speaks to the reality of humanness? Yes, it does Yeah, some of those people who have been through the worst stuff and have gone to having absolutely nothing Are the most genuine humble? Wonderful people to be around yeah yeah, I mean I say my homeless homies because I would there's a Lot of times I would rather hang out with those people Than people who have everything and anything Because their attitudes are Judgy Yes, that's the part that's the part that kind of gets me I want to Really ask a question about that because I don't know if you dealt with it Your answer was you can It kind of sets you apart If I can say this to you Shelby sets you apart because you're not Judgmental, so I think you can befriend anyone But also your assignment is to snatch that person out of where they are Even if it's judgment, even if it's holier-than-thou even if it's whatever so you can pull those people I don't know if I have that same assignment because once you are considerably that way Yeah, we can't really have conversation I'll I'll acknowledge you But I don't I don't want to spend time but see I don't think that's how you come across I think you come across as a very genuine loving spirit with those kind of people Amen and Maybe that's what they need to see and that's what your assignment and that's the Holy Spirit, right? Well, it's same with me. It's not me It doesn't come natural for you, it's the same thing with me You make it look easy, what are you talking about like you talk to yourself that point of me you make it look easy You're speaking to you. Let me get a mirror put it right here. Okay, you make it look easy. No, I'm no, I I Love people genuinely But when I see something different It causes me to pray internally And that's a blessing right there that you do that Man, they ain't a lot of people that do that Well, that's that what you talked about earlier that's that place of I had to process through the pain, right? I wasn't always like that. So I that's my only way of processing That's my only way of keeping the productivity, you know moving forward. Yeah That's the only way I can I feel weird about the fact that Everybody's not a Everybody's not a friend. However, I'm learning as I talk to you more. I'm learning that They can have that position and let them work their way out That's what I'm hearing you saying you have an opportunity to take this position Yeah, I'll keep my side eye on you, but you're you're gonna kick yourself out. Not me I Think that it I I don't know Um, I'm gonna be more like you Cuz you're off the world doesn't need more like me they need you to be you and everybody else to be them We all have a purpose. It's not We don't need to be cookie cutter. We don't need to be like each other We actually need to be the individual that God created us to be because we have a specific purpose That just like every minister every pastor has a specific ministry and They will preach in their own form and fashion and they will reach certain people that they're supposed to reach They may not reach everybody because someone else is going to reach those other bodies Wow We are getting like way off the topic of no, no, that was good Well, actually that that that kind of makes up what friendship is because your purpose for that person determines Your assignment with that person. So I take what you're saying, man, and that's that's awesome yeah, and if we looked at friendships or friends as Exactly that people who are put in our life for a purpose Whether it's a season a reason whatever lifetime You know the word says there's a time for everything come on we just read that after the last podcast or the one before that You know, I'm actually gonna go to that please it's an ecclesiastical Yes There is a time there is a season And there is a Purpose time to be born a time to die of time to plant a time to uproot time to kill when it's time to eat Time to tear down and a time to build a time to weep and a time to laugh a time to mourn and a time to dance a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them a time to embrace and a time to refrain from a marine and That's interesting that's a time to search and a time to give up a time to keep and a time to throw away a time to tear and a time to mend a time to be silent and a time to speak we all I need to listen to That time to love and a time to hate and a time for war and a time for peace Oh Okay Anyway, I don't know why that came into the whole picture, but I think I know why it gives us an opportunity to In our discernment of people that come into our lives What's the time what's the season and what's the purpose? With those people whether they're friends Siblings, I think you just answered your question that you and I started this conversation with before we were on mic Yep, there's a time in a season on purpose for everything every single thing everything What about your friends Well, and you know, we have to understand that friends are human just like we are They go through things they do things they make mistakes just like we do And friendships mature and change. Well, they don't stay static Because we don't stay static and we got to give them room to grow. Yes, absolutely and to change and and still be a friend and And sometimes even after 30 years Friendships Dissolve And it hurts and it sucks and you got to grieve it But and sometimes they come back around Yeah Amen this has been word-of-mouth With Nate and Shelby Thank You Shelby You're welcome Nate, I don't know what it is, you know, if y'all don't know We actually go back and listen to these Because I don't remember a dang thing I say you and me both There are times where I'll be sitting there like oh my god, that was good Oh, and I'll I would literally go back just to hear it again So some of well, I'm gonna say some of it everything that said it's not just to kind of give Personally for me it's for me. Oh, are you? Yeah, we're both working stuff out through all this. Yes Just like the tick tocks. I'm working stuff out through the tick tocks I mean, you know, it took me months before I was like, oh I'm preaching to myself Like really God you told me I had to go do this and now I'm just talking to myself They're formative They're they're very Meaningful to life situations that we all face and It's an honor that I'm able to speak not only with you, but to a Group of a broad group of people that we're just kind of just having a conversation. We're just talking to people That's it. We're just Aaron I But yeah, anybody anybody wants to get a relationship me has to have a little something going on cuz you know now by the time They've heard these things. They'd be like No, thank you, I'm just gonna go Say that to me too. I ain't gonna run away But another thing we need to talk about we didn't talk about I don't know how much time we got But you know what we get to make our own time. So we do Is that you know when you're meeting and when you're single and and you're at the stage in life that you and I are you You're not looking for the same things you were looking for when you were 20 and so the friendship Is usually how things start I think at this point in our lives Maybe that's how it started in the beginning when we were younger to it But I think it was a little different But I think now, you know, like we talked off mic We're looking for peace We're looking for someone who can fit into our lives that's already established Not someone that we're going to change our lives for To fit them in and I If I think it's more about companionship at this stage and friendship Friendship and friendship with others things Well, I mean now you get I'm not speaking for you I am not adding in others I am a one I'll take away that as other things With the S on thing I was gonna say my bad thing I won't say it but Wow, I got it But and but then again, I think maybe what maybe I'm weird because I know a lot of There's a lot of people having extracurricular activities at my age that Out the gate True and I just can't do that. There's I don't know. There's something wrong me. I don't know can't do it that that's Different You did say something that was good You use the word companionship and friendship. I didn't hear relationship in there That are for a reason because I think that When there is a companionship, we understand as a companion. I Should accent you I should compliment compliment you in that way in a companionship Relationship may be a little Tricky at this point in life Okay, you can have to explain yourself on that one I Personally think that the start if I'm meeting someone the start for me would have to be companionship Friendship and then we'll relate to something else For me now because of peace my stages in my 20s was Relationship marriage Yeah, all those it was kind of it was it was it wasn't balanced, right? And it wasn't for me. It wasn't put in the proper place because I felt like I did something too quick I operated in an area that was way flesh Absolutely, and again and that's where shameful no, but that's where a lot of us are at that stage in life Yeah, yeah, and still are at this stage in life True so the balance And it's just for me, I mean everybody got their own way I would I would think that companionship should be something That is focused on because of the peace that We both should operate it me and that significant other You want to keep that balance? I don't want to snatch your piece. I don't know what you've been through in life I don't you know know what you faced your flaws or anything overcome. I want to speak into your now, right? yeah, don't you think that that's part of where we're at right now like The negativity is yeah, we're not time for that Playing those games No, so over that. Yeah, I'm all about like loving a hundred pure like doing things That are peaceable the word and avoiding things that aren't and Wanting to build up that person But wanting that reciprocated as well. Yes Like the shit kind of gone Get down to the nitty-gritty. Oh and there's icing on the cake for sure There it is, but brass tacks are kind of important. Absolutely. Absolutely Stop playing games man Tricks are for kids I'm playing the games man. Just be up front honest real about it. State what you want Do you think people are still playing games in our age? Well, they play games period. I don't even know if that's an age thing This is game playing period I guess that's true and the sad part about it is why are we accepting the games? Well, it depends on if you're accepting the games out of entertainment I Guess another party Because you need someone to fill your space 31 first and get the good. Yes Wow, I mean we love this we love we love love talking in this capacity I Don't know I just think it's I just have to say that I think it's amazing the change in Perspective of what you want Versus what Used to be important what's important now versus what used to be important because of the shift in In life Gotcha maturity. Yes That's a big word maturity taking me 50 years to get there. Huh? Maturity, I'm still not there. I'm sure God's like girl. You ain't even there Well that plays a part in everything friendship Relationship companionship every ship every ship gotta be mature Gotta be mature even worse Even worse God ain't playing no games No, he's not a game player. Come on. Come on. Why are we playing in worship? Amen. All right. So this has been word of mouth podcast with again We appreciate you You