ep 6 My Journey Through Life

In this episode of Timothy's Podcast, the host, Timothy Blau, talks about his journey and the struggles he has overcome in his life. He emphasizes the power within ourselves to change and find happiness. Timothy believes in finding his inner self and discusses his beliefs in spirituality and self-help. He shares his personal story, hoping to inspire and relate to others. Timothy also discusses society's influence, judgment, and the importance of treating each other with respect. He expresses his concern about the current state of the world, especially regarding social media and its impact on young people. He talks about his own battles with addiction and the importance of taking care of one's health. Ultimately, Timothy encourages listeners to believe in their own willpower and the possibility of positive change. Hey, listeners, and welcome back to Timothy's Podcast. Welcome to Episode 6 of My Journey Through Life. I'm your host, Timothy Blau, and again, I would like to thank you for everybody's support and thank you so much for listening. Today I want to roll right into it. I'm going to actually go right into my today's life. I know that I have brought you through my journey, through my childhood and things that I have battled and overcame through my past and brought you through my life, but I just want to discuss what made me realize a lot of things that I have dealt with and overcame the struggles and the battles and the demons that I have had in the past. So I just want to basically talk about now and the power within ourselves that we have that we can overcome a lot of things. Some people might believe in power and finding your inner self and maybe take it as spiritual or spirituality and it's just basically about finding yourself and I believe that we do have the power within to change the things that we believe in or to change within ourselves and help ourselves to understand things that have happened or things that we have done and things that have made us not happy, things that have made us happy and I just want to pinpoint on those because I'm not saying that I'm the greatest. I'm not saying that everybody can do it on their own. I'm not saying that everybody can do it. I just want to put my story out there. Again like I have said, I do speak the truth. Nothing is non-fictional here. A lot of you that do know me knows the real me. I did speak a lot of things. I did put a lot of stuff out there but I did overcome a lot in my life through helping me and really getting into my soul and really digging deep and just trying to find a way to make myself happy or whole as a person. Whether it was just being strong or just hearing something bad that could possibly happen if I keep going down the path that I'm going down or even through my self-help by hypnosis or meeting the right people or basically just discussing and talking about things. I think when you can get into yourself and tap into that part of your brain and really be able to just open up and talk about things and not have to hide or be afraid or care about what anybody thinks, then you're on the right track. I'm not saying that I'm so special. For me it worked. I believe in the power. I believe that everybody has willpower in some sense and everybody can do it. I believe in the other side. I believe in spiritual beings. I have a lot of beliefs. Whether you want to believe them or you don't, I can talk about them. Hopefully maybe you can relate. Maybe you think I'm just talking a lot of bullshit. But this is life and this is how I feel. I'm not here to preach to anybody. I'm not here to tell you what you need to do. Only you know what you need to do. What I can do is basically tell my story and hopefully there might be somebody out there that can relate and understand and maybe I can help that one. Maybe some people might think that some of the stuff I say is a line of BS, but there might just be that one little thing that you can bring and use as that tool and maybe try to find yourself. Because for me again, it was self-help and it took a lot and again I blamed my life on things in the past and I drudged and lived everything from my past. I made excuses of everything that has happened to me from my past and brought that with me and carried that with me throughout pretty much half of my whole life. And now at 49 years old, I have come to terms and finally made myself the person that I want to be and not what anybody else has made me be or wants me to be. No one has brought me down. I have been brought down throughout my whole life because of the things that have happened to me in my past and my childhood. But now I finally found me because now I know how to love me. I'm not saying is it right, is it wrong, am I healed? No, probably not. Do I want to think that I am? Yes, I do. So when we get that into our head and into our brain, then we can feel better if that kind of makes sense. I pretty much tapped into myself and I have found a way to finally love me and I have been very strong and I have had the willpower. I've always considered myself, I mean, I guess I am a pretty strong person, but I was always weak. Growing up, I was very, very weak. Again, as I turned to the bottle, as I turned to drugs, as I've done so many things in my life that I wasn't proud of. Do I need to regret everything? No, I don't. Did I? Yes. But at this point, I have to come to terms that that's what I did and that was me. This is now. And learning how to love myself, now I'm at a point where I can finally open up and maybe let someone in or maybe allow people to love me. I'm not saying that I'm looking or found that special someone yet because it is step by step and I do still have a lot of work. But I think a lot of my work has finally been done because the only thing that I actually really am missing is just that one piece and that's just that one person that perhaps might be my soulmate in life or maybe I never will find that soulmate. I'm destined not to even be with anybody in my life. I'm pretty much happy being single. I'm not sitting here, oh boo hoo, I'm single. I'm so used to it. It's been so many years that I have been because of the way that I was. But that's not always make somebody whole either. I see some people that can't be by themselves. There's some people that need to be by themselves and just maybe take some time and figure out you. I don't think we really know us or who we are and we're our worst enemy. If you want to get technical, I mean we look at ourselves and we see someone different that someone else might not. I might look at myself, oh I'm this, I'm that. Society plays a big role in our lives and we're living in a world that is a lot very different than what we were used to growing up. I'm not saying that we're in a bad world. The way that it's going, we look at it as a bad world because it's not really so great but who am I to say what's great and what's not. Are there a lot of bad people in the world? Yes. But again, we're still all human. We still make our mistakes. We still have to deal with everyday life. But I know that our society does play a big part and it's just sad that we take judgment and take them so poorly and let it bother us. And until you can come to a point where you don't care, then you can tell that person, you know what, go to hell because I'm at that point where I don't care. I don't care whether you like me, whether you don't like me, whether you want to listen to my podcast or whether you don't want to listen to my podcast. I'm doing what I want to do and what makes me happy. And I take the good and I take the bad. And are we all judgmental? Yes. I mean, I still judge. I mean, I can't say that I don't but we all don't like to be judged and that's the problem. But until we can learn to respect one another and just treat each other equally, hopefully the world can become a better place. I would love to change the world. I mean, the way that it's going, it's just, to me, it's horrible. And there's so much hatred still and it just saddens me that I see so many young people and it's just worse than when it was how we were years ago. Like children today, with all the society and the social media and the stuff, like everybody wants to be someone else or like if their hair is out of place, they think they look horrible. You know, they're fixing their noses and getting work done at 13, 14 years old. People don't know what they want, they don't know who they are, blah, blah, blah, blah. They're getting bullied. I mean, it's just disgraceful and it's very sad and I know that social media does play a big part on it as well and I'm not saying I'm at fault but I'm on social media and I'm very big on it but I'm still old enough to understand and become a better person. I'm comfortable in my own skin and I've learned that now and it's just sad and I wish I would have had learned that growing up because I was never comfortable with myself either. And again, maybe it's because of what happened, maybe it wasn't because of what happened. I can't really put blame or point fingers but I came to terms and at this point in my life right now, I feel like I want to feel like or I do feel like I'm the happiest and all those demons are kind of gone and let me tell you, stopping drinking and everything has helped me a great deal. I thought that that would be the worst battle and that was a fear in my life was to ever have to put that drink down and for me to say that, it saddens me because I'm putting it out there now but it just saddens me because I don't want to be looked at as that person but coming to terms with it and dealing with it now and getting it out of my life, I can talk about it and it makes me feel good that I can talk about it because it was a demon and it took me to a lot of dark places, especially the drugs, that's more in the past. That was a battle that I overcame but drinking, I never thought that I would actually be able to put a glass down but it took a scare from going to doctors now and being almost 50 years old and now I'm taking care of my health and don't take it in a bad way, I mean I'm okay but I have done some damage to myself from drugging and drinking pretty much all of my life and if I didn't find this out, I probably wouldn't live to 53 or 54 or be sitting here to even have this podcast because I was really going down a road and a path being so unhappy in my life and not finding the real me and I'm glad that I found the help and that I'm doing okay and it wasn't that difficult, I did it and again this is what I'm saying is I think that we are our own worst enemies and doubt ourselves but we do have the willpower to do things and we can do it. You know some people say, oh well you're strong, I mean I tell friends too, I was a smoker for years, they're like how do you just quit? I said listen, I'm not saying that it wasn't hard, it took me many, 50 million times to even try to quit but you know what, when you put your mind to it, it's done. You got to just say I'm done, I don't want to die or I don't want this in my life and you can do it, we can do it. It doesn't make me a better person and have all this willpower, it's up to you and until you can make that decision in your life, it will click and we as people, as human beings need to program ourselves and we can do it. I've overcame it, I never in a million years would ever think that I would be able to do this and I especially did it on my own and after all these years, yeah I was a little sick maybe for a couple weeks and I didn't feel good but I did it cold turkey and I have not touched a drink, I haven't touched a drug, I haven't touched a cigarette in a long time. I mean the alcohol was you know maybe a couple months ago but I'm doing great. I mean it really took me, I'm finally at a place in my life where things are really, really, really going great and what I'm trying to get at is until you can really, really soul search and tap into yourself and really get to know you because we don't really know ourselves, we don't. I never knew me, I never knew what the hell I wanted in life, I didn't know where I was going in life, I was in so many dark places in my life, I spun out of control in my life and where would I be right now if I did not wake up and I believe in guardian angels. I mean there's been so many things that in my life that I could have or should have not even been here sitting right now and I'm telling you there's guardian angels and I know that for a fact because I'm very tapped into the spiritual world and I've seen spirits, I've felt spirits and I know that there are situations that I've been in that somebody was definitely there for me because boy when I tell you, I've been through it all, I've seen it all, been through it and I'm just so glad that I can sit here and tell everybody a story. And again I'm good and I'm finally, finally good and not to bring it up again but the only thing missing right now is maybe that special someone but I'm not really going to keep harboring on that because a person really shouldn't make you who you are either because yeah you want that special someone but again I'm still working on myself. I still have work to do. Am I looking? I don't know. If it happens, it will happen and I'm hoping that somebody can love me for me because I'm finally getting to the place where I'm learning how to love me. I'm learning how to love myself and I think I'm getting to the place where I'm at that place now where I am very comfortable in my life where things are starting to happen and they're happening gradually. I mean life is good. I can't say that it was a year ago or two years ago and all my life, I mean yeah I've betrayed and I had always so many people around me and great friends and lived a wonderful life. I'm not saying that I didn't have a great life but I still went to those many dark places in my life and it was a lot, a lot of times and I hid a lot of things. I've done a lot of things and again I'm just glad that I'm here that I can speak about it but I just want everybody to know that we have the power to really change for the better, not for the worse. I mean I'm still me. I'm not a changed person. I mean you can never really change but you can change certain things within yourself to be a better person if that makes sense and you just tap into yourself. Take the tools. Get to know you. You'll be a happier person and I think as human beings and as people, there's a lot more people that do self-medicate because people don't really know themselves and I think here in America too, like everybody's just so stressed. You know people are always working. Everybody's drinking. Everybody's cheating. Everybody's trying to get out of themselves and this is not a way to live. I mean we need to be healthy. We need to be alert, be kind. I just want to help people. I want to do the things that I'm meant to do. I want to just be free of all my demons and not have to worry about it anymore and I overcame all that and again I'm finally at a good place in my life and if anybody has these same kind of feelings, you can do it. You just got to get to realize it and get in there and do it. We can do it. Just be strong. I was strong. I did it. I finally did it after 49 years and it took a hell of a lot and this was one hell of a journey through my life. So on that note, I would like to thank you for listening. I hope you found it interesting. I hope it helps maybe somebody who is listening and I will hopefully you will be listening to Episode 7. When that comes out, I'll let you know that this will be out. Again, if you have any questions or any comments or any feedback, please don't hesitate to email me. Again, my email is timothyblau.com. Thank you. Thank you.