Episode_2__Labels-rec01-mixdown

The hosts discuss the feeling of being boxed in and how it can affect relationships and self-perception. They share personal stories and discuss the importance of allowing others and ourselves to change and evolve. They encourage listeners to challenge their assumptions and expectations and suggest creative outlets such as writing, painting, and movement to help explore and express feelings. They emphasize the power of creating and the ability to rewrite one's own story. Hey, welcome, everybody. We are so excited you're here with us in our second episode. Because we are going to ask you if you ever feel like you're boxed in. You know that feeling when you're just standing there or sitting there after a conversation and the person walks away and says wait, wait, wait, wait, you want to say that's not one of it and you just feel so misunderstood and it's like wait, wait, wait, that's not me, that's not me. And all of a sudden that fear of feeling like you're misunderstood or your perception is not what you think it should be of yourself, that you're just feeling uncomfortable, where you've been labeled, it's that labeled effect where you felt boxed in by maybe a family member, maybe someone close to you, even just even sometimes I know like a teacher or a colleague can say one thing and you feel like wait a minute, I'm boxed in, they have this perception and they've boxed me in. Or how I will stay in that perception and box my own self in. Mary, have you ever felt that way? Absolutely. Like your birth order and being labeled as middle children, you know how we are. Yes. With that label. Oh, my word. I packed that label around, still have it and now I don't mind it so much because back then as a kid it's like I'm just, yeah, sometimes labels can make you become that thing, I think. Oh, that self-prophecy. Exactly. Oh, so how do we stop this? Well, we also do it to other people and that's a trickier thing. I think it's being aware of when we're doing it. I labeled somebody important to me in most of my life. A long, long time ago I was in a painting class and there was a skeleton in a glass box, full sized, and somehow I painted that as a part of my painting. In fact, it was the central figure in my painting, but I took some liberty with it and had its hands pushing out against the glass of this big box. So the glass on four sides so you could really see the skeleton. You could see the skeleton leaning in towards the box and really trying to get out. And I painted that and I didn't think much about it, about why that came to me, why that mattered to me, but as painters, as people who create things, whatever we create, there's something in it that's us. And we might not even realize it. And in that case, I had realized it until years later when I realized I had put my mom in a box and I had seen her in a certain way and I wasn't letting her out. Wow. Yeah. I want to cry. Yeah. Well, that hit me. Emotionally, that was a pretty hard thing. And really it was only about three years ago, now that she's in her 90s, that I finally let her out of the box. Can you believe that? Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And just seeing her in a new way. And I think that's something we have to attend to in ourselves. When are we boxing people in? And what is it doing to them? And what are we losing as a result? Yeah. Anyway. You know, it's funny when you were saying that, I was like, holy crap. I boxed myself. I'm in my 50s. And I think I've, I know there were times as I was maturing that maybe I pushed down some walls. But I think I've boxed myself in. Yeah. I mean, I almost put myself in the box with your mom. It's that whole visual of me being in there with my hands pushing against the walls. Push, push, push it down. Wow. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah, it's hurtful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is. I think it's a really hard thing for us is to allow the change in people. So we box them in, but they're not in that same box anymore. And we keep them there. I think parents do that with children. We keep our own children, we perceive them as they were, and think of them still as that little kid. But they're not that little kid anymore, you know? They've moved on. And you know what? And I think we find comfort when we box people in. And I know that as I've changed, it's made people feel uncomfortable and vice versa. It's like that change because there is conviction there. It's like, ooh, ooh, I want to keep you there. I want to keep you there. Because if you stay there, I can stay there. Right. And then I'm not so, ooh, it's a little, it's a circle around a box. I love that. I love that image of you pushing on the box yourself, trying to get yourself out of the box. Yeah. I want to say more about that because that's really cool. You know, it was the first time because we've talked about that story. And as I was really just visualizing it, myself and I am just not wanting to be in that box anymore. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I'm, knock down those walls, sister. Knock down those walls. But you said the other day, yeah, about how you can rewrite it at any time. You don't have to stick with the story. You don't have to stick with your label. No, in my lens of life, it needs to evolve. It will evolve and it is evolving. And I think as I evolve, because isn't that sort of how the saying goes is life is how we perceive it? Yeah. And so I don't know. I feel like it begins with me. If I stop boxing me in, I think I'll be empowered to not box you in. Yeah. What if you don't? What if you just stay there like your whole life? No, no, no, no. No, no, no. And if you don't, you're going to miss out on something. You're going to miss out on thriving. Again, you're going to miss out on thriving in your life. Yes. You want to be your own superhero. Your own superhero. Yes. And we can. We can. That's it. That's it. We can. We can. And the really great things that happen when you step out of that label, I mean, you find a sweet spot in a relationship because there's, I mean, like me with my mom, it's a completely different relationship once I made the change for myself. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I love that. Well, it's about don't you feel when you're comfortable in your own skin? Yes. That those around you, the energy you release brings comfort to those around you. Yeah. And then it becomes something more beautiful. We don't have to feel like, oh, I heard that. Somebody text you. No. Is that a real bird? No. Robert, get your phone out of there. Oh, no, it's funny. Anyway, so, you know, I digress. You know me and my squirrel brain. Anyway, so let's encourage our listeners. What would we encourage them to do if they find themselves doing the same thing that we've done? I challenge. I challenge you to think about, to identify and question the way you box yourself in, the way you have assumptions and expectations, even self-prophecy, again, of yourself. And I think once that kind of kicks in, you could start seeing how you're like, oh, wait a minute. I have this expectation, which is a box-in, I feel. That expectation can be a box-in of others. I don't know. Do you have something over there? I was thinking about, like, ways that help me to move past something like that. Often it's writing or obviously painting because that's when things emerge and you realize, whoa, what am I doing here? But movement, I think getting out and moving, dancing around to your favorite song, you know, doodling something. The doodle. The doodle. The doodle. Doodles are good because you get a lot of insight from what comes off of your pencil. And for those of you who are like me and that journaling thing was just like, oh. I had to talk her into journaling. She did. She did. And I will say it does make a difference. It just makes a difference. But start simple. Just jot something down somewhere. And then as you're like, oh, oh, just vomit it out on paper. Yes. Exactly. Little vomit scraps. It's the power of creating. Yes. Yes. And how this helps us realize more about who we are. And it helps us respond to life that you are the hero of your own story. And you can have a take two. You can take two any time you want. Yes. Yes. Right. Thanks so much, guys, for listening. Yes. Yes. We appreciate you. We appreciate you. Thank you. All the good things. Like us. Follow us. Do we subscribe? I don't know. We have to look at that. I think we do. We're newbies. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. 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