Rebel Moon Episode 1

The speaker and their friend discuss the Netflix show "Rebel Moon." The speaker believes it is a great show and compares it to "Star Wars." However, their friend disagrees and criticizes the movie's script, special effects, lack of character development, and absence of blood. They also mention that the movie is similar to "The Magnificent Seven" and "The Dirty Dozen." Overall, they have different opinions about the quality of the show. All right guys, welcome to the Sterling Jones Podcast, we're going to discuss Rebel Moon, the new hit on Netflix, the number one show that I lost, no, this is two days ago, it was number one, it was like advertised on that, and now Ann is saying that it's number three. I'm telling you guys, this is the next Star Wars, I'm telling you, this is probably the greatest, greatest thing ever, but guys, this is, again, this is just a podcast, a couple of friends discussing about movies, and if you really like what you hear, hit the subscribe button, hit the notification button, and just follow us along, and just enjoy the podcast with us. So Ann, so what do you think about it, my friend? Rebel Moon was the bomb to me, now. So you are lying, I've watched it with you, and in no way, the only thing that you could say it was the bomb, was if you had just gone to the toilet and dropped a bomb, and then you just went, don't go in there, there's something that smells bad, that's exactly what it was. This movie should have been flushed down the toilet before it came out of anybody's beehive. All right, this is Ann's concept. All right, there's no big people besides the one guy from Sun Anarchy. Sun Anarchy. He's a TV star, that's really awesome. He's a TV star, man. TV. And then the guy that's the, what was it, General Titus, he's in all these awesome, always the villain, but he's actually a good guy. I just call him, I don't even call him General, I just call him Bowl Cut. I don't know who came up with that haircut that went, listen, you're going to be the most evil person in the world, but we're going to give you a bowl cut. We're just going to cut around it. No, no, no, you're talking about Admiral. I'm talking about the one that were a good guy. So the General. Oh, you're talking about- He went after and- Yeah, yeah. His best thing was in Gladiator like 15, 20 years ago, and I have nothing against the actor at all, but his part right now is horrible. He is an amazing actor. The part he was picked in, and he's probably got it, I would do the same thing, where he's buying a new house in Bermuda or something off the money he's getting paid for it, so good for him. He's a wonderful actor, but it's a turd script that should have been flushed down the toilet of- Okay, so you got to do a little more depth. Stop saying turd. So why I think it kind of needed to get a little bit better, in my opinion, is that it seemed like they didn't talk about the characters enough. Besides when they got to the farm, and she's going over a little thing, and she's like, well, they're going to take over. You're like, why don't you say they're going to take over? I didn't know she was part of the, she was like the head person. So here's the funny thing- And I just don't think the actors were flushed out enough. No, they're not, because this is a Zack Snyder movie, so they're waiting for the Zack Snyder director's cut with 16 more hours of film footage. They're like, listen, my real, what I really wanted to put out was 16 hours of this movie, and they didn't let me do it. And I'm like, no, they already planned for your 16-hour Snyder cut, and we're just getting the two-hour and 15-minute horrible cut, and nobody knows what's going on. And for a $150 million movie, I could have blue-screened my back room and put stuff in the background. So you didn't like Snyder? You didn't like Snyder? Dude, the backgrounds and that stuff is the fakest thing I've ever seen. Star Wars was made in 1976, and that movie had better special effects than this movie in 2023. Top-notch special effects. You're like, oh my God, I can't believe how they did that. And then I went, there are people that have their own podcasts that have done it for one day less than we did that have a blue screen that would make everything- It's amazing. It makes you look just like you're in Hawaii. So guys, so whenever we get started doing our YouTube podcast, we're going to use the Saturn rings as our CGI. But ours is going to be 3D. It's going to cost us $32.28, and it's going to look 10 times better than Rebel Moon behind me. So they'll be like, that's amazing. I feel like I'm at the North Shore. And I'm like, yeah, we're not. But doesn't it feel that good to be there? All right, so let me ask you. So the guy that's always, he's done Robin Hood, he's done all these things. Men in Tights. And what is his name? Not Men in Tights. He died. He was in the thing for like two seconds. Yeah, he's the king. No, I'm talking about the main actor. The king. The king, but they didn't go over him. It was like- Carl Elwes. Carl Elwes. He's the guy from- I know that, but I'm talking about the one that's the Santa Ana, Arthur guy. Oh, yeah. So he's always, when he's playing in the movies, like Civic Rim. Yeah. He's always the good guy. The good guy. Right? Arthur, King Arthur. The gentleman. I love the gentleman. Oh, yes. Gentleman. But I did not know. Which was a good plot twist. You got to give it that. But it was only a two second plot twist. Because everybody speaks up on him. I'm like, why did, and this is nothing we'll get into later. But when he's like, now you're going to give in. He's going to tell the farmer, like, you're a pussy. So you're going to do this to the general's daughter or the regent's daughter. Yeah, yeah. It's going to kill her. And then he's like, okay. And it shoots him. And then they show nothing. And also, by the way, that reminds me. This movie has not one drop of blood. Not even a cut finger that you see blood. They'll shoot people. They're cutting people left and right. There's not one drop of blood in this entire movie. They're not trying to pretend like there was blood made in it. They had no blood in any of this movie. There was more blood in Rambo, the first Rambo, than there was in this movie all day. Was this even R-rated? I think it's like whatever less than G. Oh, it's PG-13. It's whatever less than G. It's PG-13 because we're like, maybe our son can watch it. Indiana Jones melted a face at the end of their movie and had fake blood in that. And that was a PG movie. This movie right here has less blood than I have when I cut my finger on a spur. Oh, I just cut my finger on a spur. Oh, that's too much. You can't show that on this. You're saying to me right now that this is not better than any Star Wars movie ever. Any Star Wars movie. This must be what was going on in George Lucas' head to make his new movies that he came up with afterwards, the sequels to the first three movies, or prequels, to make them look so good you go back to it and go, oh my God, this is gold. Why didn't they get an Oscar for this? Oh my God, look at the special effects. It's amazing. Oh my gosh, because the special effects in this movie are horrible. So you're saying that, didn't you call the director the slow motion king? Oh, no. That's not it. Slow motion. Don't get me wrong. I loved the Zack Snyder version, the original version of his five-hour opera of Justice League. It was so much better than the movie you put out. But in that movie, it was playing in the background like gods are coming out and everything's slow motion. Oh, we're going to do Rocky slow motion. And then in this movie, it has slow motion for no reason at all. They're not doing anything cool. They're not dodging anything. They're just going. And then it's slow motion for nothing. Like jumping over a small log that's like two feet. And it's like, let's jump over that. Slow motion makes it look so cool. All right, so the blood bath guy, so this is what the slow motion you're talking about. I'm not calling it. So this is when he's running up the crane with his little spine. Takes out a whole ship with his spear. With a spear. And he misses. He misses what he missed. And then stabs him again. And he stabs through with a spear. He breaks through bulletproof glass that's supposed to withstand space. And he smashes through it one time. And takes out the whole ship. He does take out the whole ship. I'm just like, what? It was amazing. And we have to get to the real thing that we're talking about now is the fact that it was 100% a space opera in space. It's not Star Wars. It was never meant to be Star Wars. This movie was, even before I had read the reviews that said this movie was about this, I looked at it and I went, oh, this movie is a total recreation of The Magnificent Seven. Oh, yes. I told you you're wrong. I did tell you. No way. And Mac's sitting there going, no, man, this is a script designed to be the next Star Wars. And I'm like, no, it's a movie designed to be a movie that's been had. Like, we've had three iterations of it. And this is the Dirty Dozen. This is the Dirty Dozen. It's The Magnificent Seven. We're going to find six people. I did not believe you. We're going to find seven exact people that are badasses to go against an entire army. And then, like, we're seeing a fleshed out character. That woman. The spider woman? The woman who killed the spider woman. She killed the spider lady. But it was just like, there was no story to her. It was just like, they just found her. They just let her do her little, like. There's no story to her at all. But none of them have. And she's using a blade. She's cutting them up. I was like, isn't there supposed to be some kind of lightsaber? Lightsaber type thing. But it's like. And then she goes. And she does a little two guy circle thing that everybody does with lightsabers. And then it's like, wait a minute. So, wait a minute. Why didn't you do that before you started fighting this thing? You're like, they can turn red hot or something. They serve no purpose at all, really, either. And I was like, that's bad. So, they fleshed out no characters. Correct. So, the general that you're going to get. You still don't understand. Like, he's a general. Well, they did tell her, like, the last person to go see him would end up on a pike on the outside. You remember hearing that? Uh-huh. So, I'm like, why don't we go show them, like, fighting. But no, they show him drunk on the side. And muddy. I mean, it's like, all right. He's going to be muddy. And they washed him off. And they washed him off for like 10 minutes. And I'm like, okay. I can't wait for the Zack Snyder edition where there's 10 minutes of just watching him getting hosed down. So, what do you think it's going to be? Do you think it's going to flush out characters? Or do you think it's more of deciding they want to show more blood? They're just going to flush it, is what I'm thinking. It's basically going to start in the toilet. Then we're going to watch it go around and then flush down the toilet. Because it was horrible. And the new edition, the edition they should have put out when they did it now. But they're going to wait until April to put it out. Right before they put out the second version of this turd. And you're going to go, oh, my gosh. It's so much worse than I thought. Because now I get to see three more hours. But you don't think they're doing that because Netflix is really good about keeping people interested. But it's more of, hey, can we milk this? You see what I'm saying? Can we be like, okay, guys. This is okay. We can put Netflix. We can put the same movie, Rebel Moon. Number one for another week. Not for another week. It could be number one for another two days. It could be like, man, we can have it on for number one for three days. Did you say Mega beat it out? No, no, no. So now, after three days of being a number one on Netflix, now was beat out by The Meg Two. Which is one of the worst movies that has ever been made about a shark that really sucks. And even Jackson Statham would go, I only did this movie because I am trying to pay off some debt. I found this in California. I know. I don't want to be in this movie at all. But I do have two yachts now called The Meg Two. And I feel good about that. And I'm like, I agree with you. These superstars are just going for these paydays now. Are you kidding me? No, I'm saying like this. Like there's no. Jackson Statham is a smart man. He does not look at the script going, man, this is where I'm going to get my Oscar. I knew I'd be going for an Oscar for everything. I didn't even listen to him. I never gave him a little sidetrack, guys. But going with him, he's like, I was just a dealer. I was just lucky. I did an audition. They wanted me to do it. And then I just got started just doing Lock, Stock, and Barrel. Which is hilarious. All these. Those are great movies. He just got into this. He looked like he was an actor. He hates this show. I'm sure that if he didn't have to sign the NDA that said I cannot say anything bad about this movie, his first thing would be, it was a cash grab. Guys, come on now. Give me a break. You would go for the cash too. And I agree with him. I'm totally good with that. I have no problem with him as an actor either. I respect him immensely. And I respect him even more for going, you know what? That's a lot of money. I'm not going to turn it down. I really hate this movie. And I'll never watch it. And I am going to take a lot of shit from it. But, man, that money spends so much wealth. I can take a little bit. And you know the Fast and Furious you can do, right? Oh, my gosh. Why not? Fast and Furious 28 bringing everybody back. So this movie is so horrible. And I did have high hopes for it. And then I saw the reviews. And the reviews were so horrible. And I don't always listen to reviews. But I went to the reviews before. I was like, okay, that doesn't sound good for something that's been hyped up this much. And then all of a sudden, and I said, okay, I'm going to give it a chance. They didn't tell us anything about Star Wars. I mean, I read that it literally was going to be a Star Wars movie like Rebel. You're right. I think you're right about that. And then they changed it to this because Lucasfilm or something said, no, we're not going to go down this path. But it's horrible. I mean, it's literally horrible. I don't know what they changed to make it not Star Wars. But it's just not good at all. I mean, I've seen, what was the movie? Andor on Disney. Oh, yeah. So much better than that. I mean, you know. I cannot believe she took down wrong men in a bar. Like, it didn't really hurt her doing anything. They still don't even tell me anything about her. Oh, she's an adopted kid. The person that took over the empire. Yeah, I figured that out. That her mentor and the person that raised her. Is in charge of everything now. Yeah, is in charge of everything now. So I got that. That's kind of interesting. The bad guy is not interesting at all. He is bad. So don't get me wrong. I like the actor. He does a good job of being bad. He's got the bowl cut on. He wants to be the bad girl. You know, he's not. You know, he's doing mean things. But he's not. He's not doing them. He's not scary. It's just like, okay, come on now. Yes, he's mean. But mean for no reason. And the only thing that I liked about it all. Was the robot that they allowed to be in for two minutes. Oh, I know. They didn't even show him after that. I'm like. It was Anthony Hopkins. Anthony Hopkins' voice. His voice over. It was great. I was like, oh, it's going to be good. They're going to have a robot that, you know. Hey, this robot has got. There's something behind it. And maybe. I'm sure the second one's going to have the robot in it more. But even Anthony Hopkins is going. I can't believe he really even gave my voice to this movie. I could. Definitely wouldn't give you my face. But now I'm buying another house with this one too, man. I'm cashing in. Let's do this. It was horrible. It was so good with different things. He's amazing. Even with him being in Odin where he didn't do a lot of stuff. He can do anything. Anthony Hopkins can do anything. And he's the best part of this movie. He's amazing. In fact, the robot's cool. It's a cool idea. It's cool thoughts. And then they totally like. That was in the first 20 minutes. You brought up the robot, right? The robot gets shot. 20 times. By the guy. And not even a dent. Okay. But listen. Remember when they cut back to when she's taking over all those lands for the king, right? And there's a firefight going on. The robots are getting shot. But they go down. I didn't see it. That's what I'm saying. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. I didn't see that. 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