anxiety

The podcast is called "Stuff That Makes Stuffies Stick" and it covers various topics like shower thoughts, daily issues, and meditation. The host, Stephanie, aims to relate to listeners and provide comfort. In this episode, she talks about anxiety, its causes, and how to deal with it. Stephanie shares personal tools that have worked for her, but she is not a doctor or psychologist. She encourages listeners to send in their own ideas and tools. Stephanie also emphasizes the importance of kindness and promises to address creative criticism in a future episode. She then goes off on a tangent about Welsh culture and her own experiences. Finally, she explains that anxiety is a normal response to stress and discusses the amygdala's role in anxiety. Well, welcome to Stuff That Makes Stuffies Stick, a podcast dedicated to my shower thoughts or daily issues that I'm turning into a podcast so that other people can hopefully relate and take comfort in the knowledge that it's not only them that are having these weird thoughts. There's going to be a multitude of different bits, whether it be full podcast episodes, daily affirmations, small kinds of meditation-ish pieces, and then the real McCoy meditation stuff. The kind of medications are me being the girlfriend who's going to talk to you, as I would want a girlfriend to talk to me, real, sometimes uncomfortable, but always, always, always coming from the deepest places of love. There are so many nasty fucking people out there and I'm certain we've all been on the receiving end of a jellyfish. If you aren't certain of what a jellyfish is, just let me know and I'll do an episode on it, and also coping mechanisms on how to not get stung, but for today, let's get on with an episode all of us can relate with, and don't be a bitch and say you don't get it because you're a fucking liar. Even Michelle Obama struggles with this. So today, to my queens, lovers of my life, bitches, soul sisters, misters, and every beautiful rainbow color in between, let's talk about anxiety. What is it? Why we have it, and how to deal with it. I'm also going to try and provide some tools that are super duper easy to apply to everyday life which I have personally tried. Disclaimer, I am not a doctor, or even psychologically trained. I'm just ADHD, maaaybe even autism, so I rabbit hole about things that I'm passionate about and have guinea pigged on myself. Seriously, I'm not going to suggest anything that I haven't tried and tested on myself, okay? And I know, know, know, know that it works, or at least for me, and I hope that it does for you too. So welcome to Anxiety Bitch Be Gone, a podcast dedicated to helping listeners manage and overcome their anxiety. I am your host, Stephanie, and today we're going to go into the depths about that nasty little whore voice inside our heads, telling us that we aren't big enough, fast enough, strong enough, good enough, not going to be able to accomplish that thing. Why it's done, and then some wee tips that I found that worked for me. If you hear this episode and have some ideas and tools, send them in, I'd love to hear them. Also, like, on a serious note, I know that the internet is rife with nasty little trolls, please, please do, please be kind. I know I'm not perfect, far, far, far from it, but I know what it feels like to be at the bottom of a self-created emotional hole, and I've seen so many of my friends and family having the same fucking battles, which has opened my eyes to knowing that 1. Most importantly, I am not a snowflake, and neither are you, Biba, but, most importantly, for me, if I can do anything to prevent other people from being in that hole and feeling alone, I, you know what I mean, like, I have to do something, so pinky promise, bitches, get your peace symbols out, only peace and love, unless it's creative criticism, I intend to do an episode on it, I just, like, I've got my fingers up in the air, accepting advice and handling creative criticism, so let me know if this would be something that you would like to hear about, so, yeah, I'm kind of rambling, okay, let's hop to it, so, segment one, understanding anxiety, okay, so I don't know about you, but did you ever go to the discos when you were a kid, sometimes they were held at schools, or at a friend's birthday party, what if you didn't, I'ma tell you about my experience, one friend in particular, her friends would always book out the local community hall for her birthday to have a disco, there would be finger foods, okay, so I'm Welsh, oh god, here comes a huge digress, British for anyone who doesn't know, maybe in this endeavour I can put Wales on the map, so all of you beautiful people, like, oh my god, I've been to London, I've been to Scotland, but never to Wales, go back, go fucking back, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, Wales is the most beautiful country, lush green rolling hills, wild rugged coastline where you can surf and pick mussels on the beach, and then strawberries in the summer in the fields which grow by the beaches, and then the nightlife, always isolated into like one or two tiny streets, but both men and the women, young, old, will adopt you, they will adopt you, like, I kid you not, there was a bar in my home town I would take American friends to visit just so they could experience it because they never believed me, I would send them into the bar on their own, instructed to not make eye contact, and to sit at a table on their own, every single time, without fail, someone will come over and talk to you, asking oh, are you okay, love, oh, you're on your own, oh, you have an accent, oh, why are you here, blah, blah, blah, oh my god, come and meet my friend, come and have a cigarette with me and my friends in the garden, oh, it doesn't matter that you don't smoke, come with us, come with us, oh, they would love, they're going to fucking love meeting you, I have to warn you in advance, you will have a nickname, if not in the first hour, by the end of the night, because you won't be able to escape because you've been adopted, me coming in, who they already know, will not be enough for your new friends to allow you to be dragged away, that is Welsh, they're normally pretty intrusive, wanting to know everything about you, and they'll make assumptions, sometimes, if not always, politically incorrect, but always from a place of love, I can't speak for the entirety of the Welsh population, although the majority, racism isn't really a thing, it's more mild curiosity and will speak without thinking, like, oh, see you're from India, oh, tell me about a food set you had when you were growing up, oh, that's nice, love, yeah, mate, you're going to love it, so, yeah, let's step away from the digression, one final note on the Welsh, they are wonderful, we are like the Scottish and the Irish in the way that we are, either Welsh, Scottish, Irish, or we band together as Celts, in all the countries, we have our own language, which is Dian, but it's beautiful to hear, oh, God, I've got such a dry mouth, by the way, oh, oh, my God, so, another cheap thrill is getting my American friends to pronounce Welsh words, if you'd like to hear any of them, let me know, my personal favourite is popty peng, which means microwave, but, yeah, back to the friends disco, I remember there would always be a crowd who would be up and dancing, waving their arms around and screaming, laughing, laughing, and then there'd be the others who'd be sitting in the dark with their chairs pressed up against the wall, this is the same as riding a roller coaster ride, there are those who scream with their arms flapping around like sausages, or others white knuckling it until they screech to a halt, only on the ride because their friends have begged them to go, why is this, look, I'm certain I can hear people saying, this isn't the same thing, but it is, it's the fear of the unknown, right, there's absolute certainty of impending doom, but there's one who goes, fuck it, and then the other cries, oh, my God, I want my mum, and the latter is said from a place of total love and admiration, because I'm there too sometimes, but less so as I've gotten older because I refuse to give in and die, one little story that I have to share, and God, it sounds totally self-indulgent, but it stems from the above, I was a super, super, super shy kid, think of maybe unsocialised when I was a kid, I never knew how to be in groups of people, or how to be, again, with the little fingers, how to be cool, God, I'm still not cool, if someone can make a podcast on how to be cool, please let me know, yeah, but anyway, so I went to university the first time, I've been twice, the first was a complete disaster, the second was a success, I'll tell you about another time if you're interested in hearing it, but yeah, so the first time that I went I did fashion design, like, I don't even need to tell you what the people in my class looked like, and looked being, again, with the fingers, but you know what I mean by cool, like amazing clothes, cool hair, and they seemed as though everybody knew each other, anyway, so I went into my first class not knowing anyone, and we broke for lunch, I went to the cafeteria, and there was this group of girls who all looked like insta-models, but there was one seat empty at the end of the table, and I just made this decision of fuck it, sat at the empty chair, interjected into their conversation, asked what they were talking about, and introduced myself, well, one of the girls later told me, and this was one of the really, really cool girls at the table, she asked me, like, how did you do that, I would never have had the confidence to do it, like, this same girl that I thought was so cool, like, still to this day it blows my mind, to this day, bear in mind, like, this is ten years ago, shit, maybe more, hang on, so this would have been, oh my god, it's from 2012, 13, oh my god, yeah, ten years, wow, anyway, back to the point, anxiety, okay, so before we dive into the strategies, it's important to understand what anxiety is, and how it affects the body. Anxiety, believe it or not, is actually a really normal response to stress, but once upon a time, it was a little different, or at least its purpose was a little different, you guys ready for some science? So, okay, like, stick your hands together, inside your brain, those apart, that is called the amygdala, this is our, like, big anxiety button, imagine once upon a time we were faced with a tiger, or a woolly mammoth, or whatever, the amygdala, the anxiety button would have gone, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, baby, let's kind of work this out, what are we going to do in the face of this tiger, welcome in, I can hear you guys chorusing, fight, flight, or freeze, boom, so, seeing as you guys already know this, let's take a moment to say thank you, amygdala, aka anxiety, for keeping us safe from tigers, although, whew, I don't know about you, but for me, there's been so many times I've quietly kicked the amygdala in the tit for making me so nervous and not myself, but the point is, she, he, they, serve a purpose inside our brain, which is keeping us safe, so, queens, bitches, and babes, let's stop for a minute, now that we have a primitive understanding of lady A, aka amygdala, in case you guys aren't paying attention, are we, fight, flight, or freeze, fight is obviously being our badass bitch self, and grabbing life, or the situation by the proverbial balls, flight, which is avoidance, or RUN AWAY, or it's freeze, which is standing on a stage and forgetting your lines, think Eminem losing yourself when he chokes, oh my god, am I showing my age here, if you haven't seen it, watch 8 Mile, rest in peace Brittany Murphy, there was a song that also went with the movie, and the lyrics for the song, for Lose Yourself, the lyrics are something like, his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti, he's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud, he opens his mouth, but the words won't come out, he's choking now, everybody's choking now, the clock's running out of time, oh my god, I'm such a loser for knowing it, but I'm no rapper, I'm not even gonna kid myself, but yeah, you kinda get the point, deer in the headlights, like, shit, the more that I think about this topic of anxiety, there are so many levels, like an onion, right, I'll try and cover all of the bits, or at least what I think are the most important bits for now, or at least for me, again, I'm no fucking expert, this podcast is literally just a stream of consciousness, and if you're still here and listening, thank you, I love you, thank you for your patience, but yeah, okay, so, but for now, I feel as though a rough concept of the names of different phrases of anxiety, so my mum, she had a really hard time when she was growing up, and recently she went for therapy, something which I am a huge advocate for, but her therapist introduced her to EMDR, and in that, her therapist said that when you're thinking of something that gives your tummy the ick, you know what I mean by the ick, but like, you can't really place it, shut your eyes, seriously, seriously, shut your eyes. In a new study published in the journal Legal and Criminal Psychology, researchers from the University of Surrey found that people wanting to answer questions about movies, found that closing their eyes were able to answer more, the brain can concentrate on the assigned task. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I hear you, this isn't a movie, I got you, but what I'm saying is shut your fucking eyes, and tell your brain what it is you are trying to put a name to, because then it's easier to find. Okay, let's try and do it together now. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and feel where the ick is in you. Like for me, my ick is always just below my ribs, and kind of by my tummy. Take a deep breath and grab it. Okay, so you've got a squirming in your hand. Now, ask yourself, what colour is it? Is it grey? Is it purple? What does it feel like, like is it spiky, smushy, slimy? And then what we're going to do is we're going to play with it with our hands. Can you hear me rolling my hands? I'm doing it with you. We're going to roll it like a piece of Play-Doh. Roll it around, and when you're rolling it, give it a name. What is it? Is it anxiety? Is it stress? Is it anger? You know what, you can even give that emotion a name, like that fucking anger, or that ugh. You know, like it doesn't even have to really be a word, right? But give it a name. Because once the ick has a name and a tangibility, you can do whatever the fuck you want with it. You know now that it's in your hand and it has a name? Throw it against the wall. Swallow it and fart it out. Rub it into the carpet. Turn it into a paper aeroplane. You know? Whatever it is that you decide to do with your ick, I would love, love, love, love to hear the name and what you did to it. Don't make that thing your bitch, okay? Yeah, I hope that that made you smile, but it's true. Think about your fridge. Say it smells, right? You can't grab the smell, but if you focus your attention and give the smell a name, aka that two-week-old chicken shoved to the back of the fridge, you'd be like, whoa, whoa, Steffi's sister, this shit stinks. It's going in the trash. That's what we're going to do with the ick. And baby, this applies to all of our demons, whether it be the depression or the sads or the other multitude of Hogwarts-esque demons we all have. I can't name them all, but we all know them, right? But just for now, like in your own time you can do your own thing, but for now let's keep this focused on anxiety Same fucking rule applies. Name it, find it, grab it with your hands and move that motherfucker out of there, baby. I know you've got it. Please, anybody who tries this, please tell me. I'm so excited to hear about you smashing it on the wall or throwing it into the fish tank or feeding it to your cat or whatever. I think it's very important that I say I'm really sorry for anyone who doesn't like swearing or cussing, but this is me. I'm sorry, but I need this to be as much like my own real, like, natural voice as possible, otherwise it's not going to roll or be legit. So I'm sorry, but not really. But in the end, no, seriously, I am sorry, and I promise I'll try to be better, though. I hope that you can accept me for who I am. Okay, back on task. Let's get back to the science. And I want you to try it. Oh my god, so I heard about this study first on the NPR podcast Hidden Brain. If you don't already listen to it, do it now. Do it now. Shankar Vasantam is my god. Even if you don't listen to what it is that he's saying, his voice is so ASMR and so soothing. Oh my god, he asks the most wonderful questions and really listens to the answers. The people on the show, they're all like, oh my god, excellent questions, Shankar. Yeah, so this isn't an ad, but I'm kind of hoping that Shankar will hear this. I love you, baby. Okay, anyway, so the study. In a series of studies in 2014, Harvard researcher Alison Woodbrooks set out to see if we would perform better under pressure without telling ourselves to calm down. So she did three different studies, but I'm only going to talk to you about two of them, because otherwise this gets very long-winded. Anyway, so the first was asking a group of Protestants who, like, disclaimer, without practice or any prior knowledge, in front of a group of their peers, were asked to karaoke-style sing the Journey song, Don't Stop Believing. I don't even know the rest of it, but you all know it. Yeah, I know. Even as I'm advocating for this, I'm like, don't be nervous. It's fine. My palms are starting to sweat at just the thought alone. Mentally, hearing a melting into my own skin at the prospect of hitting the high notes. But there was a prize money dependent on their accuracy to volume, pitch, and note duration. I know. No pressure, right? So never mind the fact you have to sing in front of your peers or your friends. There's also people who are going to be grading your accuracy, and there's a prize for it. But anywho, anywho, anywho. So the Protestants were split into three groups. And before singing, two groups were asked, how are you feeling? One group was told in advance to respond to this question by saying, I am anxious. The other group was instructed to respond by saying, I am excited. Which both groups were told that you keep saying it to yourself. I am anxious. I am anxious. I am anxious. Or I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. And then there's a third group, the poor bastards who were left blind with nothing to do. They just have to go in and do their thing. The question for the study was, are there any differences in singing performance between the three groups? I need to check. I don't think the groups were in any way musically gifted. Just your normal bunch of people in your class, you know what I mean? But this is where it gets really interesting. There was a difference. A big difference, in fact. Okay, so the excited, the I'm excited, I'm excited, I'm excited singing group performance. Their singing accuracy was the highest at 80.52%. And then we had the anxious group, which was 52.98%. Like, that's insane, right? And then there was the final group, who didn't have any sort of, like, guidance. And that was 69.27. So if you want to be scientifically correct about it, you'd have the anxious group who was going to come in the lowest, those who weren't instructed in the middle, and then those who were excited, who were on top. Again, bear in mind, these aren't singing professionals. Like, this is drunken karaoke at about 4am, but without the help of multiple shots, okay? Study two. Again, I'm not doing all three, because I'm certain I'm going to lose a few of you in the process if I do. But Brooks also tried the I'm excited technique with public speaking. So the participants have been instructed to write a two to three minute speech on a specific topic, which was then filmed and judged by their peers. Like, I don't know about you, but every single time that I have a camera in front of me, oh my god, like, my mind just goes completely blank, and I'm looking at it, trying to see the facial gauging or reactions of the camera, and all I've got is this tink, tink, tink of those red eyes, like, oh my god. But yeah, so they had to do this two to three minute speech. But just like the singing study, the participants were asked to say, I am excited. They were either ignored, but then there was the other group who were asked to say, I am calm. Or maybe I've got this wrong, I think, instead of, like, in the first study, it's, I am excited, it's, I am calm, I am nervous, or they've got nothing to work with. So their peer panel then viewed the speeches, gave their scores, scores varying on different factors. Again, so the public speaking performance went excited. Once again, there was, oh shit, no, so I was right. Sorry, I'm reading notes, I was going to speak into you guys. So the excited group was rated as being more persuasive. Oh no, I was right, okay, yeah, so the I am calm was rated as being more persuasive, more competent, more confident, and more persistent than the calm group. Interesting. God, I wish that I'd read my notes more clearly. Okay, so there's the excited group, there's the calm group, there's the left to their own devices, which actually makes it even more interesting, right? Because then you can be calm and kind of ready for shit. But then if you were excited about doing something, then all of a sudden, there's going to be all of this enthusiasm in your bellies. You're like, oh my god, this is going to be so amazing, right? But yeah, so the excited group was rated as being more persuasive, more competent, more confident, and more persistent than the calm group. Interestingly, they also gave longer speeches, an average of 35 seconds longer, just because they were excited. See how fucking wild that is? It's crazy, super, super crazy. But this is just a tip of the iceberg on studies dedicated to taking control of our inner voice. Hang on, I've got to dry my mouth again. But yeah, as soon as you start mantra-ing, is that even a word? Mantra-ing? What you want your inner voice to say is what you'll actually do. Brains are the weirdest things. Like, let's pay attention to the fact that the brain is the only organism that's named itself, right? I'll leave you to shower thought that one. But yeah, let me know your thoughts. But oh my god, this applies to being sad, too. You know, the next time that you are sad, please try this technique. I learned it from a lass on TikTok. I learned so much from them. But her name is EmilyLays.Hypnosis. I'll tag her below them because she needs to be credited. I remember good, she did everything that she's told me. Maybe at a later date, but for now, this is a brain hack for tapping into your brain. Does that make sense? But yeah, so Emily has told me that your brain is made up of four chemicals which spell out dose. D, dopamine. O, oxytocin. S, serotonin. E, endorphins. So just to close out this episode, we're going to be talking about serotonin, which is the chemical that determines our mood. One of the easiest things that you can do to give yourself a boost when you feel like you're under a boulder of sad, and seriously, seriously, seriously, seriously, hear me out. Yeah, I've tried this too, remember? I am my own guinea pig and it works, okay? It is to make yourself laugh. Even when life is shit, making yourself laugh is going to give your body the little boost to be like, you know what, I can do this, like it could be worse. Make yourself laugh. The cool thing about this, right, is that your body doesn't know the difference between real and fake laugh. So you're in the kind of possible way tricking your body, so you're mimicking laughter. Your body or your brain will release a fuck ton of serotonin. So what we're going to do, and maybe you want to do this one with me. Are you ready? Okay, so we're going to hold our fingers up as we do this. So finger one is going to be your one ha, okay? And then finger two is ha ha. So one, ha. Two, ha ha. Three, ha ha ha. Four, ha ha ha. Five, ha ha ha. Six, ha ha ha. Seven, ha ha ha. Nine, ha ha ha. Ten, ha ha ha. Oh my god, this is such a, such a blinking mess. Like I really wanted this to be like professional and concise, but you can really see that it works. Just, just be ridiculous. Make yourself laugh. Oh my god, if you guys can send me a video of you doing like one ha to ten has with a straight face. I'm going to find something really fucking cushy and fun to send to you, okay? Um, yeah. Um, if you do have a TikTok, please go and tell Emily. I think that she would be so, so touched to know that it works and also that she's spreading the, the, the lord's, the lord's good word, right? But, um, yeah. Okay, let's try and be serious. Uh, this is just the start of emotional therapy. I don't know about you, but seeing a therapist is expensive. I had a therapist when I was in school because I had medical coverage through school. But now, for a little insider information, I am a self-employed gardener. Which means in the summer I am broke. I don't know if you can hear my hands doing the, like, little money make, um, symbol thingy, but in the winter I am broke. Like, broke, broke, broke, broke. But the therapist that I had in school, uh, she recently went private, so I sought her out. And she is my main queen. So once the winter is done and I've got an income again, I'm going to be going back to her. Um, anyone in the Denver metro area, her name is Linda Hilliker. Look for her. I can assure you, you will not be disappointed. Again, little insider scoop. She was my doctor for ADHD medication. And initially just that, but on my birthday a few years ago, a friend drowned at my birthday party. Um, yeah, um, yeah. I fucked her. Yes, I'm getting kind of jokey even though, like, I've rehearsed this, but, um, yeah, it was really fucking hard. So, uh, boom. Anyway, so I phoned school because that's the way that you have to do it to book an appointment with your doctor. And I told the receptionist that I needed Linda, like, ASAP. And to warn her that it was going to be messy. I shit you not, Linda phoned me within the hour and I howled. I'm talking the ugliest snot running over your face crying I think it's that I've ever done. I'm talking, like, hyperventilating downright fucking mess. But Linda was rock. She was my rock. Uh, she told me later that this wasn't her training, but that, yeah, at that time she wasn't, like, my doctor or my therapist. She was my friend. You know, when someone sees you, like, they really see you quiet when unasked for needed. And was just, you know what I mean? Like, I can't really say enough. This isn't an ad for her. She doesn't even know that I'm doing this. Like, I just want people to know that she's out there. And like I said, she's just started her practice and is looking for new patients. If you need help in any way, shape, or form, even if it's not, again, little finger air brackets, even if it's not her thing, she's gonna listen to you and love you and care for you like a mother, grandmother, best friend. Or, like, you know, the person that's in your heart. And like, I'm slapping my chest as I'm saying this. But, yeah, I'll put her details into the notes at the bottom, too. And if you do go to her, say that Welsh Steffi sent you. Again, not for ad purposes, but just so that she knows that I love her. Whew, good. Yeah, that was a really long old ramble, and there's still so much to cover. But if you guys like what you hear, then let me know. Please, again, be kind. But also critical, if you think I need to add, delete, improve, etc. Don't ask me to stop cursing or swearing, because that's who I am. And after years of practice, I've learned to love who I am, and I've found the way to only... I've found the way to only have those who love me... Okay, go on. I only have those who really love me around me. I don't know why that was so difficult to say, I am sorry. But, yeah, I really hope that you are going to be one of those people that is, like, my soul person. Yeah, this is my first episode. I've been really nervous recording this, if you can't tell by the dry mouth and the stuttering and the stalling. But if you've stuck it out until here, then thank you. I really appreciate it. And if you want to hear more, then just reach out. Yeah, so... Oh God, I don't even know how to end this. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I hope I can get some more tools and tricks and interesting stuff here for you to listen to. Let me know what you want, and I'll do my best to cater. Give me your shallow thoughts, your doubts, even those deep, dark confessions that you can't bring yourself... Even you couldn't even think about. Yeah, there's no judgement here, and I'm always going to be that little finger bracket, straight back saying this because I fucking love you, voice. I may not be right. Chances are I'm never going to be fucking right. But if you hear me, and use my words as a tool to find the answer within yourself, then I know that I've done my job. So for now... Peace out, bitches! Peace.