podcast 2

The podcast hosts discuss dumb quotes by famous people. They make fun of the quotes, such as confusing continents and countries, not understanding the concept of gay marriage, and not realizing that bombs explode. They also joke about a golfer owing a lot to multiple parents. Overall, they find the quotes amusing and make humorous commentary. Hey everybody, this is the sick podcast back with you. I am Abbottan and this is my friend Hybrid, the hostage hybrid. We are going to bring you what I like to call a whole lot of dumb and a whole lot of fun. So we found stuff on the internet, you know, relating to, you know, the dumbest things ever said. And, you know, we're going to go over this and I really want to see what hybrid thinks on this. So the dumbest things ever, ever, ever recorded said. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably a lot of dumb shit. Yeah. There's a lot of dumb that we don't even know about yet. Uh, you know, I'm sure that I've heard more dumb than this, but you know, uh, there are some good ones in here. So, you know, uh, this first, uh, thing I'm going to look at is the 15 dumbest quotes by famous people. So I want this quote to add at the end from something someone said to me. Do you? Yeah. Now I'm going to go in and start with quote number 15 here. And it says, uh, if it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. Uh, from George Goble. I don't know who George Goble is. Yeah, but he's a fucking moron. He's an idiot. All right. Now going to quote number 14, uh, it says he's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is, uh, by Lou Duva. Uh, not sure what to make of it. He, he has, he has time manipulation powers. He's an X-Men or some shit, bro. Yeah. No matter when he wakes up, is it like groundhog day? It's like, no matter when he wakes up and what day he wakes up, it's just become 6 AM for him. Yeah. It reminds me of that, uh, you know, that one country song, it's five o'clock somewhere. Yeah. Or does he teleport to where it's 6 AM at the time? I think it's probably teleportation. Only thing that can explain this. We'll go with that for sure. That, that definitely seems the logical route, you know, more logical than the initial statement. Now, the next quote is coming from, uh, a Michael Barrymore and says, uh, so Carol, you're a housewife and a mother. Have you got any children? What the fuck? Exactly. Dude, I hope Carol's an activist dude across the face because are you a housewife and a mother? Housewife and a mother. Are you married? You're a housewife and a mother. Do you have a place to live? You say you're a home maker. Do you, do you live with your parents or do you make the home? This is outrageous, man. All right. The next is, uh, from a friend of the podcast, Britney Spears, you know, shout out to you, Britney. I've never really wanted to go to Japan simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa. Uh, apparently Britney has never looked at a map or had any sort of elementary school education. Um, yeah, she was too busy yelling, hit me one more time or some shit to get a continent confused with a country. She must've got hit and had a lot of times, bro. Two completely different. I was a continent, bro. Yeah. On the opposite side of the world from each other. Yeah. Uh, uh, I mean, if it's any consolation, uh, Africa is only probably like, you know, seven, eight, 9,000 miles away from it. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's in sitting distance. I guess we're not on the opposite side of the world of each other. So it could be worse. You know, she could have said, yeah, she could have said like, you know, Chile could have been the North pole when it should have been the South pole. Oh my God. All right. Next quote is, uh, coming from a Keppel Underberry. It says traditionally most of Australia's imports come from overseas. This is a shocker to me. Like usually when you're importing something, it comes from another country, you know? Yeah. And Australia is what I would call a giant Island. So, uh, Australia used to be a giant prison. So they used to import people to Australia. Yeah. And they may, they may have dug a tunnel from Australia to Asia. I'm not sure. Oh yeah. I re I remember that in the, in the history books for sure. For sure. Yeah. So instead of overseas, they get a lot of theirs from under seas. Yeah. Yeah. I'm following you. I think I re I think I remember you got my logic there, right? Yeah. I gotcha. No, the next, next quote is coming from Linda Evangelista. This is Linda. You want to tell us something before I read a quote? No, that's a, that's an old video. It says I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. Um, that sounds like the definition of a diet. I mean, I don't know what diet it is. Like, like what I would be furious to find out what her definition of a diet is. I don't diet. I just monitor my meals, my calories to make sure I don't eat too much and gain weight. But I'm not on a diet though. You mean, yeah. So you're adjusting your diet, but you're not on one. No, no, no. Don't call it a diet. Well, technically if you, if you think about it, uh, a diet is what you intake. So when people say that they're on a diet, personally, it doesn't make any sense because everyone's on a diet. You know, it's more like I've adjusted my diet. I have also said a person trying to gain weight is also on a diet, but people don't think of it that way. I'm trying to gain, you know, like, someone goes, I'm trying to gain 20 pounds or I'm too skinny. They're on a diet to gain weight. Yeah. Yeah. People don't see it that way. That's funny. I don't even know half these people, which is the funny thing because, uh, I would like to know them. Like start following, uh, Jack's LeBlanc over here, where the fuck this is. Uh, what he said was, I do not like this word bomb in quotes. And it says, uh, it is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding. That's a bomb. Yeah, I know. But apparently Jack's does not, uh, he sounds French. Maybe bomb in French means, you know, something cooler. Not sure. What can be cooler than a bomb? Maybe he's associating these directly to bath bombs. Uh, I mean, Jack LeBlanc could be six years old. Not sure. He doesn't like bath bombs because they have the word bomb in it. Yeah. And apparently you can't say bomb on an airplane as we all know. What would you call a bath bomb? Uh, bath, uh, device that is exploding. Bathroom IED, right? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. I mean, people might get the wrong, uh, interpretation of that. Bathroom IED. Bathroom IED. You guys sell any bathroom IEDs here at Bed Bath and Beyond or whatever the fuck the store's name is? Bathroom IEDs. Oh my God. All right. So the next is, uh, coming from our good friend, Dizzy Dean. Uh, and it says the doctor's x-rayed my head and found nothing. That's great. If you've ever met Dizzy Dean, complete true statement, you know, because he has nothing in his head, apparently. Have you met him? No, but do I need to? No, because they can't see you. Apparently. Have you met him? No, but do I need to? No, because they have nothing in his head. Exactly. All right. Go to the next quote. It says my sister's expecting a baby and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. That seemed, at first that kind of confused me, but that seems really appropriate for 2024. Thank you, Chuck Nubbett. I wonder how old Chuck Nubbett is so we can see if this is actually appropriate. Who is Chuck Nubbett? Chuck Nubbett is a basketball player who was born in 1959. Uh, since then he doesn't have any excuses. He's old enough to know better. Exactly. He's old enough to know if he's going to be an uncle or an aunt. You know, even if he is trans, he should have had that figured out by now. He was born in 1950. Bro, he should know. Yeah, gender neutral. He's confused. He's too old to be confused, bro. Once you reach a certain age, you should know. Dude is like 70. All right. Coming up here is one of my favorites from the Dear Mariah Carey. Everyone loves Mariah, especially when she said, and I quote, whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not all those flies and death and stuff. Thank you, Mariah, for leading us to the conclusion we already knew. All right. Those poor kids, man. Not even Mariah is going to help them out. But they're so skinny, though. She's jealous of them, apparently. Well, not the flies and the death and the stuff. No, no. Flies and death. So one might say she could just go on a diet. Not the next quote. We have to read like these. No, I can't do an Arnold's. I'm not going to. But this is coming from Arnold Schwarzenegger. And he said, I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. Not sure he understands the whole concept of gay marriage. But we should ask him. If we get 10,000 likes on this video, I'll get Arnold on the next podcast. I wonder if he said that on purpose or if he was serious. Well, it could maybe it's some Austrian translation and gay is happy and he just confused himself. He speaks English, bro. Good enough to be the governor. Oh, my God. All right. The next quote is coming from golfing legend, Greg. Adam Sadler. No, Greg. Golfing legend. And he said, I owe a lot to my parents. I owe a lot to my parents. I owe a lot to my parents. I owe a lot to my parents. I owe a lot to my parents. And he said, I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. Yeah, how many mothers and how many parents he has? Was he adopted? Six times, apparently. He's got a lot of mothers, a lot of fathers. That would make no sense. Sixteen brothers, eight sisters, three dogs and a cat. Yeah, he's yeah, he has no idea what he's talking about. I would like to he brings he wins the Academy Award or some shit. He's like, I would like to thank my mom's, my dad's and my parents. God's all of them, all the gods. And I owe a lot to my parents. Especially the ones to conceive me. Especially my birth parents. Yeah, I call them mom and dad. Next, we go on to a quote from Ivana Trump. I know you're all waiting to hear this. It says, fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything. Um, that it? Yeah, and technically you can make up anything. That's just almost anything. And that's all fiction writing is. Right. I would love to get in the brain of Ivana Trump just to see if there's anything there. No, we just x-ray her also like that other guy. I'm sure we'll find nothing. Also, yeah, definitely time for what I would call a CT scan. Let's get in there. Figure it out. The next, next quote is coming from, you know, my favorite genie in a bottle. The one, the only Christina Aguilera. And she said, so where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? Um, if you do not know the answer to this question, go look it up. Um, and then, you know, feel like I didn't call you a fucking moron. What city was it in? Cannes. It's in Europe. So she asked where it is, but said the name of the city. Yeah. Located in France. Cannes is the most picturesque city in the country. Um, so. Yeah. Oh, C-A-N-N-E-S. Okay. Yeah. I've heard of that. Gotcha. Yeah, the Cannes Film Festival. Yeah, it's, yeah. You know, um, it's like asking where's the New York City Film Festival. Yeah, it's like where, uh, what state is the Empire State Building located in? Um, what empire is the Empire State Building located in? Who's the emperor of the Empire State Building? Yeah, who's the emperor of the, yeah. What is their sovereign territory of the Empire State Building? All right, next we have a quote from the great Brooke Shields. It says, smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. All of it. Yeah. You've lost all of it. I think you lost the living portion. Um. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's all of it. I mean, you cannot make this stuff up. People are just, I don't want to say dumb, but. Was that the last one? I'll go with lacking normal intelligence. Yes, and that was the last one, uh, at least on that list. Okay, so for the bonus dumbest thing I've ever heard is, I asked an employee for a pen one time. The dude gives me a pen. I grab the pen and I go, why is this pen sticky? Like, there's candy on it. He goes, how the fuck am I supposed to know what goes on in my pockets? And I was like, if anyone should know what's in your pocket, it should be you. And he's like, you're confusing me with all these questions. I literally told him, I said, I am writing this down. It's your pocket. Own it. Oh my God. Oh, listen to this one. The spork is the devil's utensil because it's the amalgamation of masculine fork and feminine spoon. Trying to blur the gender lines in society. Wait, forks are masculine and spoons are feminine. The modern knife, I've never heard that shit before. You know what? I'm not going to eat with a fork then. But you, it's like, you can't make this stuff up though. People actually sell it. So how does it work? Should guys only use spoons? I don't know. You get what I'm saying? Like, if forks are masculine, I don't want a guy in my mouth. No ditty. So maybe I should get a spoon. Or you can just go with the spork and, you know, pretend you're confused. But I'm not confused. Yeah. There's so many ridiculous things online. Unexplainable. Unexplainable feats going off in people's heads. I definitely lost IQ points for sure. You know, probably about five or 10, you know.