Tribute to Betty Comden

Betty Comden and Adolph Green were a successful writing duo in the world of show business. They wrote for both the theater and movies, with their career spanning about 60 years. They collaborated with Leonard Bernstein and Jerome Robbins on shows like On the Town and Wonderful Town. They also wrote for Disney's Peter Pan and the less successful Tarzan. Their work was known for its imaginative and creative elements. Comden and Green won multiple Tony Awards and left a lasting impact on the world of musical theater. There's no business like show Business like no business I know Everything about it is appealing Everything that traffic will allow Nowhere could you get that happy feeling When you are stealing that extra bow There's no people like show People they smile when they are low Yesterday they told you you would not go far That night you woke and there you are Next day on your dressing room they've hung the star Let's go on with the show Welcome to another edition of On Broadway. My name is Stuart Brown. I'll be with you until 6.30 this evening. Tonight we're going to be celebrating the career of Betty Comden who passed away this past Thursday at the age of 89. She along with longtime partner Adolph Green were involved in so many musicals. Their show business career spanned about 60 years. They wrote for both the theater and for movies. They wrote 11 books of shows and were involved in just about 20 shows as far as lyricists or both book writers and lyricists. So we're going to be playing music from the whole career of Betty Comden and of course with Adolph Green. In addition I'm going to give you two reviews, one of Tarzan and of Mary Poppins. So that will be coming up later in the program. We're going to start off with the first show appropriately. And that was On the Town. And the show involved not only Betty Comden and Adolph Green but also their friend Leonard Bernstein and Jerome Robbins. And we are going to hear actually Comden and Green who not only wrote a part of the show but also starred in it. So this is Betty Comden and Adolph Green from On the Town with Carried Away. Motherland, what is it? Just a collection of complexes and neurotic impulses that occasionally break through. You mean sometimes you blow your top like me. I do. I try hard to stay in control but I get carried away. Try to act confused and bold but I get carried away. Carried away, carried away, you get carried away. When I sit and listen to a symphony, why can't I just say the music's grand? Why must I leap up on the stage hysterically? Then playing Pizzicato and every single glottal, I grab the mic to stick it on and sing in the crowd. Carried away, carried away, you get carried away. And when I go to see a moving picture show and I'm watching actors in a scene, I start to think what's happening is really so. The girl I must protect her, the villain don't respect her, I keep the defense and knock a hole right through the screen. Carried away, carried away, you get carried away. I try hard to keep the touch but I get carried away. I try to act less booby-tatt, but I get carried away. When shopping I'm a sucker for a bargain sale. If something is marked down upon a shelf, my sense of what is practical begins to fail. I buy one, then another, another, then another, I buy the whole store out and I'm in business for myself. Carried away, carried away, you get carried away. And when I go to see my friend the Horace Grey, golly how I hate to see the school. To escape my love of traveling I catch his train. And when it's time to go for marching, the train's already starting, I hop afraid and in a flash I bust him, bust him. Carried away, carried away, we get carried, get carried away. I wasn't meant to lead an ordinary life. I wasn't meant to have an ordinary house like an ordinary wife. I wasn't meant to scrub the floor and do the dishes in a blue and white kitchen with a fishbowl full of fishes. Not for me, not for me, that's not for me. I just made up my mind today that nothing's gonna stand in my way. No matter what I have to do, I'll make my dreams come true. The first thing is to have a plan, it might require meeting a man. I may need one or maybe two to make my dreams come true. I believe in all the magazines, they say anyone can get ahead. And a flunky girl of modest means is the type that all the rich men wed. Since that is so, I cannot see why all that shouldn't happen to me. If I just follow every clue to make my dreams come true. Look, it's right here in Photo Play Magazine. Famous movie actress Mae Murray says, to be bewitching, you must have those bee-stung lips. Ever since I was a baby in arms, I have been a moving picture fan. Seeing leading ladies use their charms, and they never fail to get their man. Richard Barthelmess, Ramon Navarro, and Rudolph Valentino. Ah, Rudy. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Make my dreams come true! A clone, a clone, a clone, they call me a clone. Laugh, clone, laugh! Life is a great roulette wheel. And be we he or she, each one of us must take a chance and gamble with death to need. Some win, some lose. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Some of us will reach success and gain our destination. Others will be doomed to lives of utter frustration. The bright young doctor who had hoped to take out your appendix ends up coming to your door to put in a new appendix. And here am I, condemned to be the japing, jeering jester, while others play a fellow, King Richard and Pearl Mester. I lost hopes, lost dreams, of what I could have been, the greatest lover on the silver screen. Valentino, the king of love and passion. I will now give you a quick impression. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ride in gondolas through the jasmine-filled streets of Seville. Kiss me, you know you cannot resist me. Nom, nom, nom, nom, and there you are. If that left any doubt as to my acting ability, I will now give further proof of my great versatility. Her Majesty, Queen Victoria! Gentlemen, we must by the Seville Canal as long as Gibraltar stands. Vizrelli, Gladstone, my ministers, you must obey my whims. Remember, I am a queen. And there you are. You've seen my Valentino, that slinky Latin kid. What Helen Hayes and Irene Dunn, I have also did. But a clown must keep on clowning, so on with the show! Pagliacci! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! The Cowardly Lion himself, Bert Lahr from the 1951 Comden and Green and Julie Stein Review II on the aisle. And that was The Clown. And that was the first collaboration with Julie Stein in all. The group wrote eight Broadway musicals. And we'll hear, of course, from them later on. Before that, we heard from Billion Dollar Baby. And that was a studio cast recording of the 1945 musical Kristen Chenoweth with Dreams Come True. And we started off from On the Town, Comden and Green with Carried Away with music by Leonard Bernstein. And we are actually going to start off our next set with another Bernstein, Comden and Green collaboration. Comden and Green, as I mentioned earlier, not only wrote for the theater, but also for the movies. And after Billion Dollar Baby, they took a break writing the lyrics for Take Me Out to the Ball Game. They wrote ten films, including what many people believe is the classic movie musical, Singing in the Rain. They also were Oscar nominated for the bandwagon It's Always Fair Weather. And other shows they wrote, Take Me Out to the Ball Game, Auntie Mame, Good News, and the Barclays of Broadway. But their focus was on Broadway. And as I mentioned, the next show they wrote was Teaming Up Again with Leonard Bernstein and Jerome Robbins. And this is on, I'm sorry, this is Wonderful Town. And it was also the first Tony that Comden and Green also won. So let's hear from Wonderful Town. This is Edie Adams and George Gaines with It's Love. Poor Bob, you're in love and you don't even know it. It's love, it's love. Come on now, let's drop it. It's love, it's love and nothing can stop it. You're a silly girl, it's a sign of youth. You're a silly boy, you're in love with Ruth. It's love, it's love. Come on now, just try it. It's love, it's love. Don't try to deny it. I know the sign, I know it when I see it. So just face it, just say it. It's love, it's love, it's love. Maybe. It's love, it's love. Well, who would have thought it? If this is love, then why have I thought it? What a way to feel, I could touch the sky. What a way to feel, I'm a different guy. It's love, at last, I've someone to cheer for. It's love, at last, I've learned what we're here for. I've heard it said, you'll know it when you see it. Well, I see it, I know it, it's love. Maybe. It's love, it's love. Well, who would have thought it? If this is love, then why have I thought it? What a way to feel, I could touch the sky. What a way to feel, I'm a different guy. It's love, at last, I've someone to cheer for. I've heard it said, you'll know it when you see it. Well, I see it, I know it, it's love. Peter, where do you live? It's a secret place. Please tell me. Would you believe me if I told you? What, promise? For sure. For sure. I have a place where dreams are born and time is never planned. It's not on any chart you must find with your heart. Never, never land. It might be miles beyond the moon or right there where you stand. Just keep an open mind and then suddenly you'll find. Never, never land. You'll have a treasure if you stay there. More precious far than gold. For once you have found your way there. You can never, never grow old. And that's my home where dreams are born and time is never planned. Just think of lovely things and your heart will fly on wings. Forever in never, never land. You'll have a treasure if you stay there. More precious far than gold. For once you have found your way there. You can never, never grow old. And that's my home where dreams are born and time is never planned. Just think of lovely things and your heart will fly on wings. Forever in never, never land. Mother and dad handed down to me a bit of their old philosophy. I've stuck to it like an obedient daughter. But it always lands me in hot water. I'd gladly follow out your suggestions. If you'd give me the answers to these questions, please tell me. Is it a crime to start each day with a laugh and a smile and a song? And is it a crime to end each day with a laugh and a smile and a song? Is it wrong, is it a crime to call the world your Valentine? Is it a crime to grab a lamppost and then sing sweet Adeline? I ask you. Is it a crime to save a wee baby bird when it falls from its nest? That little bird should have a chance to fly like all the rest. If it's a crime to help old ladies cross the street, then put me in jail without bail for adding water from an old tin pail. If that's, if that's a crime, is it a crime? Inspector, I'm puzzled. We're taught two things as we go through life. One, be thy brother's keeper. And two, mind your own business. With a laugh and a smile and a song. Now if I know something and by telling it to someone in distress, I could change that person's life and bring them to the blue bird of happiness. Is it a crime to tell him or is it a crime not to? Is it that you're muscled or you've got to? Should you say, hey, watch out for that banana peel bud? Or just remain silent and then laugh as he crashes with a thud? Inspector, my job is to give messages to people on time. If I have a job and I see it too, then it's just my duty that I do, do, do. Is that, is that? Inspector, let's go back a few thousand years. If there had been answering services then and it had been up to me, I could have changed the course of history. I could have prevented many a famous tragedy. With a laugh and a smile and a song. Why every night I lie in bed and my cheeks, my cheeks grow soaking wet when I think of what I could have done. For Romeo and Juliet. Hello, Verona phone. Oh yes, Sister Romeo, Juliet Capulet called. The message is to avoid getting married to other fellow and playing dead. This Friar Lawrence gave me a great big sleeping pill, but when I wake up we'll head for the border. Oh, don't thank me, it's all in the day's work. See what I could have done. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong, but if I got that message still on time, I'm telling you, those two kids would be alive today. So if it's a crime to help old ladies cross the streets, then I'll confess, I'm just a mess. Mother and Dad, you were wrong, I guess. Inspector, were they wrong? Thank you. ♪ Judy Holiday with her Tony-winning performance from Bells Are Ringing With Isn't It a Crime? And Comden and Green specifically wrote Bells Are Ringing for their very good friend Judy Holiday, who they started off with the reviewers playing cabarets and nightclubs back in the 1930s. We heard from Peter Pan with Never Never Land. And you might not think of the show Peter Pan as being a Comden and Green show, but when the production was trying out on the West Coast, director Jerome Robbins called his good friends Comden and Green, along with Julie Stein, to help out with the score, to help supplement the Carolyn Lee and Mark Charlotte. And Never Never Land was one of the numbers that the duo or the trio wrote for Peter Pan. We heard from Wonderful Town, starting off with Edie Adams and George Gaines with It's Love. While you are listening to On Broadway, right here on WRTC Hartford, my name is Stuart Brown, and I'll be with you till 6.30. Tonight we are celebrating the career of Betty Comden, who passed away this past Thursday at the age of 89. She wrote for the theater and movies, along with her longtime partner, Adolph Green, from the early 40s up through her last Broadway show, the Tony-winning Will Rogers Folly. She received seven Tony Awards during her career. Well, before we get back to more of Comden and Green, let me give you a first review of the show Tarzan, and we'll get to Mary Poppins in about 15 minutes or so. Tarzan, the Disney musical that's been entrenched on Broadway since last season, makes five productions Disney has successfully produced on the Great White Way since 1996. Remarkably, four of these musical adaptations are still playing. OK, Mary Poppins just opened last week. Four of the shows are or have been certifiable hits. Tarzan is the one blemish on the Disney Broadway juggernaut. Adapted from, you guessed it, the Disney animated movie, Tarzan lacks the vision and imagination that has become a hallmark of other Disney-produced musicals. Even Beauty and the Beast, while a literal translation from screen to stage, boasts imaginative staging and inventive costumes to bolster its two-dimensional characters. Tarzan, on the other hand, boasts actors swinging and shambling in, on and over the stage in pseudo-ape costumes. Between their howls and yips, the young Tarzan becomes a man, or rather an ape man, portrayed by American Idol finalist Josh Strickland. Tarzan lumbers through the musical in a colorless and vapid fashion. Strickland's acting ranges from grunts to monosyllable utterances. The rest of the cast, mostly saddled with the chore of bringing to life gorillas, fares the same. Only Shuler Hensley as the gorilla chieftain, Kerchak, and Merrill Dandridge as his mate, Kala, bring any degree of emotion to their characters. The other main roles, Jen Gambati's exuberant Jane, her aged father professor portrayed by Tim Jerome, and the macho guide, a.k.a. Bad Guy, played by Donny Kershawar, are played with generic whispers. Bob Crowley's lush green set gives the appearance of a jungle, but lacks the creativity behind such other Disney efforts as The Lion King and even the newly opened Mary Poppins. Only Phil Collins' pulsating score saves this Tarzan from becoming a plodding affair. From the first number, Two Worlds, Collins' words and music soar above the vine-enclosed stage. Tarzan, now at the Richard Rogers Theatre, wait for the Disney adaptation of The Little Mermaid, which is actually scheduled to arrive on Broadway next season. Well, let's get back to more music, and I'll have, like I said, a review of Mary Poppins at the next break. I'm going to skip the presentation that Comden and Green did, called A Party with Comden and Green, because we want to try and fit everything in, and we're going to start off this next set with a little-known show that Julie Stein, Betty Comden and Adolph Green wrote in 1958, and it's the musical Say, Darling. I don't fall for all those pretty stories That tell the tale of love at first sight Or it's the second time you meet that matters How can you tell in one lie? I don't buy those first enchanted evenings Or songs that say it's love at a glance Or it's the second time you meet that matters Love is no one-shot romance But on that first night that I saw you I trembled I felt it through when you walked in the door Now I waited and then saw you again Felt the same thrill only more So never trust that first electric moment That magic switch that turns on the heat Although you think you've found the one who matters You'll never know till the second time you meet But on that first night that I saw you I trembled I felt it through when you walked in the door Now I waited and then saw you again I felt the same thrill only more So never trust that first electric moment That magic switch that turns on the heat Although you think you've found the one who matters You'll never know until the second time you meet Everybody walk it, walk it on homeboy Now when that magic switch turns on the heat Just be sure you're not swept off your feet Make it once, make it twice Until it all goes nigh on the second time you meet On the second time you meet Yeah, you know why? You just can't tell the first time The sound of applause is delicious It's a thrill to have the world at your feet The praise of the crowd is exciting But I've learned that is not what makes a life complete There's one thing you can do for the rest of your days That's worth more than applause The screaming crowd The bouquets Make someone happy Make just one someone happy Make just one heart the heart you sing to One smile that cheers you One face that lights when it nears you One man you're everything to Sing if you win it Comes and goes in a minute But it's the real stuff in life to cling to Love is the answer Someone to love is the answer Once you find him Build your world around him Make someone happy Make just one someone happy And you will be happy too Oh, what is this feeling in the air? It's a thing on the wing like a feeling of strength in the air And what is that distant sound I hear? Like a rum-clap-a-clap-a-clap of a drum coming near It seems to say that something is on its way When it clashes and glooms it's true you hear it through A new kind of feeling we can share All around, all around, all around, all around everywhere Oh, what is this feeling in the air? It's a thing on the wing like a feeling of strength in the air And what is that distant sound I hear? Like a rum-clap-a-clap-a-clap of a drum coming near It seems to say that something is on its way When it clashes and glooms it's true you hear it through Oh, what is this feeling in the air? It's a thing on the wing like a feeling of strength in the air And what is that distant sound I hear? Like a rum-clap-a-clap-a-clap of a drum coming near It seems to say that something is on its way When it clashes and glooms it's true you hear it through A new kind of feeling we can share All around, all around, all around, all around everywhere Oh, what is this feeling in the air? When you think you've hit the bottom And you're feeling really low You must have been discouraged There's always one step further down you can go When you're lying in the gutter Feeling just a bit unsure Just wait until tomorrow You may be lying flat face down in a sewer You may be afraid of a little raindrop That don't mean nothing, boy Just remember one little raindrop Got a good chunk down what in Pennsylvania When you're living on a park bench Eating grass but you know dough Your luck will change mañana You may be six feet under Helping it grow so just remember When you're lower than low There's always one step further down you can go When you think you've hit the bottom And you're feeling really low You mustn't be discouraged There's always one step further down you can go Don't be afraid of a little rumble Watch back for goodness sake Hey, Shirley, just remember One little rumble started the Frisco quake In Pennsylvania? When you're living on a park bench Eating grass but you know dough Your luck will change mañana You may be six feet under Helping it grow so just remember When you're lower than low There's always one step further down you can go One step further down you can go Go, go, Shirley! Yes, go, go! There's always one step further down Oh! From the musical Fade Out, Fade In, that was Carol Burnett and Tiger Haynes with You Mustn't Be Discouraged. Before that, Carol Lawrence from Subway's R4 Sleeping with What Is That Feeling in the Air? and a great song from Do Re Mi, John Reardon with Make Someone Happy. And we started off with Johnny Desmond from the little-known musical from 1958, Say Darling, and it's the second time you meet That Matters. Well, let me get to my review of Mary Poppins. Mary Poppins, the London import from Disney and Cameron Macintosh, has lovingly touched down on Broadway, where it should prove to enchant and entertain for years to come. This Mary Poppins is a bit more stern and disapproving, in line with the P. L. Travers novels, as opposed to the sugar-coated Disney film, but the differences are negligible. Mary might net out a critical look or two, but those of us brought up on the 1964 movie starring Julie Andrews will not be disappointed by Ashley Brown's interpretation. Mary flies, magically reassembles an upended kitchen mess, and teaches the Banks family how to love and appreciate each other. The cast is uniformly good, led by the stiff-upper-lipped Ashley Brown as the intrepid Mary Poppins. She sings, dances, and even dispenses a spoonful of sugar when need be. Gavin Lee has birthed a chimney sweep, recreates his role from the London production. He's a bundle of energy as he cavorts around the stage, and even on top of it. The Banks children, being played by three sets of performers on the night I saw the musical, were quite good, more than a match for the older colleagues. Broadway veterans Ruth Gottschall as a former nanny of Mr. Banks, Daniel Jenkins as Mr. Banks, and Rebecca Luker as Mrs. Banks create some adult diversion to the production. Bob Crowley's sets are marvelous, with the multi-layered English household quite impressive. Matthew Byrne's choreography adds razzmatazz to the production, especially with the show-stopping step-in time number. The score by the Sherman Brothers is still magical, while the newer numbers by Greg Stiles and Anthony Drew are serviceable at best. So, is Mary Poppins the It show on Broadway? That depends. For those of us looking for more mature material, Mary Poppins might be a pleasant diversion. For children, Mary Poppins will be a special and enchanting evening, especially if they've already seen the other child-friendly musicals, the other Disney shows, in New York. And when I saw Mary Poppins, there were about seven very young children in front of me, all very well behaved, sat through, very attentive. So, again, if you're looking for that show to bring young children to, Mary Poppins will be the show to see, of course, that is, if you can find tickets. Well, let's start off our last set with the 1967 musical Hallelujah, Baby. Again, a Comden Green and Julie Stein production. Won two Tony Awards, and it was actually the only Tony that Julie Stein won in its entire illustrious career. And the show was not that successful, running for less than 300 performances, but nonetheless, it was an off year for musicals, and Julie Stein was able to snag that lone Tony for his career. So, this is Leslie Uggams from Hallelujah, Baby and Being Good. Being good isn't good enough. Being good won't be good enough. When I fly, I must fly extra high, and I'll need special wings, so far to go from so far below. Should I try? Am I strong enough? Is there time? Have I long enough? Gotta fly, and if I fall, that's the way it's gotta be. There's no other way for me. Being good just won't be good enough. I'll be the best, or nothing at all. Yes, I'll try. Am I strong enough? Is there time? Have I long enough? Gotta fly, and if I fall, that's the way it's gotta be. There's no other way for me. Being good just won't be good enough. I'll be the best, or nothing at all. Welcome to the theater, the magic, to the fun, where painted trees and flowers grow, and laughter rings fortissimo, and treachery's sweetly done. Now you've entered the asylum. This profession unique. Actors are children playing hide-and-seek. So welcome, Miss Eve Harrington, to this business we call show. You're on your way to wealth and fame. Achieve your flaws, enjoy the game. You'll be a bitch, but they'll know your name. From New York to Kokomo. Welcome to the theater, my dear. You'll love it so. Welcome to the dirty concrete hallways. Welcome to the friendly roaches, too. Welcome to the pinchers from the stage, it's the only quiet thing they do. Welcome to the Philadelphia critics. Welcome, Librium and Nebutal. Welcome to a life of laryngitis. Welcome to dark toilets in the hall. Welcome to the flop you thought would run for years. Welcome to the world of fears and cheers and tears. Welcome to the theater. With some luck, you'll be a pro. You'll work and slave and slash and bite. You'll learn to kill with sheer delight. You'll only come alive at night when you're in a show. Welcome to the theater, you fool. You'll love it so. The mirror tells me she's mine. The mirror tells me she'll be mine again. Your flashing wits, your flashing eyes, your brilliant brain, your brutal eyes. These are the tools you've got if you're the man who'll make her mine, who'll keep her mine, make her mine. Your crooked smile, your inner fire, that stealth romance, that fox's desire. Gladly crunchy, you've got what the ladies cry for. Crafty, cunning, to you are what they gladly die for. Valentinia, you're the stuff that dreams are made of. Hey, mad lover, what have you to be afraid of? What have you to be afraid of? You're almost perfect, but one thing is true. You need her desperately, but she does not need you. She runs the show. She leads the band. The royal flush. She's in her hand. Face it, old boy, you cannot afford to fail. Must not fail. Dare not fail. Will not fail. So flash that wit, and flash those eyes, and use that brain, and use those eyes. Hey, team, yay, team, break right through the line. There is no stronger talent than an independent woman. You can do it. You can do it. Got to keep up. Got to make the line. Line. Oh, man. Never met a man I didn't like. I'm a loser. Oh, Barry, come. Yes, I've come a long way down the pipe. Never met a man I didn't like. Howdy. I guess I met a whole lot of people in my lifetime. I always tried to approach them the same way my Indian ancestors would. See, an Indian always looks back after he passes something, so he can get a view of it from both sides. A white man don't do that. He just figures all sides of a thing are automatically the same. That's why you must never judge a man when you're facing him. You've got to go around behind him like an Indian and look at what he's looking at. Then go back and face him, and you'll have a totally different idea of who he is. You'd be surprised how much easier it is to get along with everybody. Never met a man I didn't like. I'm a loser. Oh, Barry, come. Yes, I've come a long way down the pipe. Never met a man I didn't like. Keith Kerenine from the 1991 Will Rogers Folly, the last Compton & Green musical, and that was I Never Met a Man I Didn't Like. From On the 20th Century, John Cullum and Kevin Kline with Mine. From Applause, now you might again not think of Applause as being a Compton & Green show, but they wrote the book. You had Charles Strauss and Lee Adams writing the score for that. And from Applause, we heard Lauren McCall with Welcome to the Theater. And we started off with Leslie Uggams from Hallelujah Baby with Being Good. Well, that's all the time we have for today. Thank you for joining me. I hope you enjoyed our tribute to Betty Comden and Adolph Green. My name is Stuart Brown, and I will be back next week, same time, 5.30 to 6.30 Eastern Standard Time. 89.3 is where we're located on the FM dial. That's right here on Broadway. Have a great week. There's no business like show business like no business I know. Everything about it is appealing everything that traffic will allow. Nowhere could you get that happy feeling when you are stealing that extra bomb. There's no people like show people they smile when they are low. Yesterday they told you you would not go far. That night you opened and there you are. Next day on your dressing room they've hung the star. Let's go on with the show. The cowboys, the wrestlers, the tumblers, the clowns, the rouseabouts that move the show at dawn. The music, the spotlight, the people, the towns, your baggage with the labels pasted on. The sawdust and the horses and the smell, the towel you've taken from the last hotel. There's no business like show business like no business I know. You get word before the show has started that your favorite uncle died at dawn. The topper that you've bought by far is your broken hearted but you go on. There's no people like show people they don't run out of loans. Angels come from everywhere with lots of jacks and when you lose it there's no attack. Where could you get money that you don't give back? Let's go on with the show. The costumes, the scenery, the makeup, the props, the audience that lifts you when you're down. The headache, the heartache, the packing, the flop, the sheriff who escorts you out of town. The opening when your heart beats like a drum. The closing when the customers won't come. There's no business like show business like no business I know. Everything about it is appealing. Everything the traffic will allow. Nowhere could you get that happy feeling when you are stealing that extra bow. There's no people like show people they smile when they are low. Even with a turkey that you know will fall you may be stranded out in the cold. Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold. Let's go on with the show. Let's go on with the show.