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Danger of Secret in Christian Marriage | Apostle Peterson Onoja Abu
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The speaker begins by thanking God for the money and blessings in their lives. They express gratitude for the opportunity to receive revelation and guidance for their marriages. They emphasize the importance of being examples in their Christian lives and relationships. The speaker then discusses the topic of marriage, stating that it is not a solution to sin or temptation. They assert that only Jesus can provide the solution to sin. The speaker introduces the topic of the danger of secrets in Christian marriages and refers to the story of Adam and Eve in the book of Genesis. They explain that Adam was responsible and had a job before God created Eve. God caused Adam to sleep and performed a literal surgical operation to create Eve. The speaker defines Christian marriage as a union between a single man and a single woman with the consent of both sets of parents. They emphasize that marriages without parental consent are not considered valid. Father, we thank you for this money. We thank you for blessing our lives. We thank you for the opportunity you have given to us again to bless our lives. Thank you because we know you have wonderful plans and promises for us. Thank you Lord for the things which you have planned to do in our marriages. And thank you Father for the revelation you are about to give to us that will help us and help our marriages. We know that it is the will of God that we should be examples to the world in our Christian life and our relationships. We ask Holy Spirit that these truths you are about to reveal to us, we pray that you bless us and help us to be able to come to understanding and give us the grace and the heart to receive everything you will be communicating to us this moment. We pray Holy Spirit that every one of us under the sound of this teaching, we pray that you bring them to the reality of your will for their lives in Jesus name. Thank you Father because you are faithful. For in Jesus mighty name I pray. I welcome you to this special program and the teachings before us, the teaching before us is a wonderful teaching and it is something I have never seen as a topic in the body of Christ. I don't know whether there are churches that have discussed about this or during their course of discussion on other topics they have to touch about this but I will be teaching this as accordance to what I see in the word of God. And I want to first of all celebrate everyone that is married here because marriage of itself is a journey of itself full of different challenges, temptations and let me say this to you, for the singles that are yet to marry and you think that when you marry there will be a solution to the temptation of the flesh. Let me say this to you that marriage heightens the temptation. Permit me to say that. Yes, marriage heightens the temptation to sin. So in case you have problem with fornication and you think that getting married is a solution, I want to disappoint you now, I want to make you feel bad. That if you are a fornicator and you have not yet been able to deal with that issue, if you get married you are only graduating to become an adulterer. Are you with me now? So the only solution that God has provided for sin is the person of Jesus. So Jesus Christ is our sin bearer. Marriage cannot substitute that. Marrying the best partner cannot substitute that. Neither would money substitute that. So the only solution to sin is Jesus. You give your life to Jesus. I will be sharing with you shortly for the time given to me, I will be sharing with you on the danger of secret in Christian marriage. The danger of secret in Christian marriage. Let us go quickly to the book of Genesis chapter 2. Because we have to check the book of the beginning to see, to find out the pattern that God originally set up for marriage. Genesis chapter 2 and I want you to believe that at this time, Adam and Eve were innocent of sin. So this time that they were living like this, they were not sinners, they were innocent of sin. They were innocent of sin. So that is the original template for marriage. Because at this time they were innocent of sin, they were living the life of God. So that is the original template. Genesis chapter 2. I read from verse 20. Genesis chapter 2 from verse 20. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found an earth meat for him. Adam was already succeeding, because he was already in the establishment of God. In our modern days we would say Adam was not irresponsible. Adam was already responsible. He had a job. He was taking care of the garden. We would say that Adam was the general manager of the garden. Are you getting me now? So Adam was not isolated. Adam was not someone that was careless, jobless, and he had nothing to pursue in life. Adam was in the purpose of God. He was in the purpose of God by taking care of the garden. He was in the responsibility of God. God gave him a responsibility. So at this point we see that Adam was giving names to all the animals. But unfortunately the Bible brought a clarification that though he was doing that, but there was something that was missing. And that was, the Bible says, for Adam there was not found an earth meat for him. An earth meat for him. We can say an heifer. You can use the word an heifer for him. So Adam was doing everything by himself for himself. Now verse 21, And the Lord God caused a thief's slip to fall upon Adam, and he slept. And he took one of his whips, and closed up the whip, the flesh, instead thereof. And the Lord God caused a slip to fall upon Adam. This is the only place in the Bible where God was responsible in choosing entirely for Adam. Without Adam's partnership with God. So at this point Adam was unconscious. But you will never see it across the Scripture that God often makes men to sleep before giving them wives. So when you read across the Scripture, you will discover that Abraham and every other generous in the Bible, they got married in different patterns. That is why I will never recommend a singular pattern for you. A man of God prayed, and when he prayed he saw his wife in the marketplace. Doesn't mean that you will see your wife in the marketplace. Even our fathers of faith, if you carry their testimonies about how they saw their wives, and they got married to their wives, you will discover that their testimonies are very very different. So God deals with you specially. So we don't have one formula to find a wife. But then we have a principle of finding a wife. In case you have not gotten my message on finding the right choice for marriage, go and get that message. I think the audio message is in our Telegram channel. Finding the right partner for marriage. So what we have seen here, we discover that Adam was unconscious because he had never seen the woman before. And this is only in this place that the principle was established. God never used the same principle for all the creations. And it was only done here, so we cannot use this as a principle, so to say. It is only done here, we cannot use this as a standard, so to say. You cannot come and preach on your pulpits that if you must get married you must sleep physically. No. God doesn't need to create any other person again. If not, it would have made you to sleep because even in the medical world, if the operation is to carry on, you will be inserted a substance that will cause you to sleep. So God had to do a surgical operation at this point because he wanted to bring about Eve. Eve was to be birthed. Eve was to come into existence. So God had to carry out an operation on Adam. This was a literal operation. It was literal. So Adam physically slept, not spiritually. I know there are many allegorical interpretations of this, but this is a physical, a literal experience of Adam. Verse 22 And the whip which the Lord had taken from Adam for man made a woman and brought her unto man. And Adam said, This is now my bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall live unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. Not one spirit, one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Now this is where we are talking about. In case you want to know about the other verses there, that is not our focus tonight, this morning. Our focus is in verse 25. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. What we are talking about is the danger of secret in Christian marriage. But before I go further, I want to first of all define what is a Christian marriage. We have different religious marriages. But what is a scriptural marriage that the Bible has ordained for all men, irrespective of their tradition, their religion, the scriptural part of marriage, the Christian marriage. When I say Christian marriage, I mean marriage that meets the demands and the desire of God. I am not using the word Christian there to mean a religious marriage. Because we have many religions, so to say. And they said among the religions, Christianity is one of the religions. So I am not saying that what is Christian marriage are, in quote, and you know, talking about religious marriage. No, I am talking about scriptural marriage. The marriage that is acceptable to God. When we talk about Christian marriage, we are talking about a single man marrying a single woman and two of them becoming one based on the parental consent of the lady or both parents. And that also involves that both of them are not initially married or if they are initially married, their life partners probably are died. Now if their life partners are not alive, they are recommended to marry. Are you with me now? The scripture gives them the opportunity to marry. So a Christian marriage is a marriage between a single man and a single woman. Not a single man and many women. But one man and one woman coming together in agreement of both parents and living together to become one. So the man leave his father and his mother to live to his wife. Where does the living start from? The living starts from the home of the wife's parents. I mean the home of the wife. That is the parental home of the wife. That is where the living starts from. So any marriage that does not, where the parents of the woman doesn't have say. The parents of the woman, they didn't support it. They didn't allow it. And then the couples went ahead to marry. It is not marriage. Even if they are pastors, it is not marriage. It is not marriage. So Christian marriage is a marriage that involves a single man with a single woman coming together under parental consent to marry. Now you see that when I'm defining this, I didn't put the church into this. I didn't put the government into this. Because the one we do in church that we call white wedding is actually a western marriage. Because in the Bible there was no white wedding. So we can't say it is Bible marriage. It is western marriage. It is western marriage. We call it white wedding. That is not the real marriage. That is also appreciated for the Christian community. But that is not real marriage. The real marriage is when the parents of the girl, of the lady you want to get married to have decided to hand over their wife or their daughter to you. That is where marriage has been conducted. That is where marriage has been conducted. So you can decide to involve the church because you are coming from a family, a Christian family. What I mean is that the church is your family. And where you are worshipping, you want to carry your pastor, carry the people along because you can involve them. But on the original template for marriage, it is between both families. It is between what? Between you both what? Families. The man's families and the woman's families. That is where marriage has been conducted. Involving every other person outside those families is like you just going extra. And that is still okay. But we shouldn't make it like a standard because before Christianity, are you with me? Troop over the whole of Nigeria. Before there were churches in the whole of Nigeria, there have been marriages. Praise the Lord. Okay, that is not where I am going to now. Now, we are talking about Christian marriage. A Christian marriage is a solely union between a man and a woman making two of them to become one. So a Christian marriage doesn't welcome or doesn't accept or accommodate polygamy. No. Or if you are a divorcee and your husband is still alive, your wife is still alive, you are not permitted to marry as a Christian. One of the partners must have died before you. It is only death that grants the permission for remarriage. I won't make that clear. Let us proceed. Now, the joining together, what makes two to become one? The joining together happens at the place of number one, sexuality. The Bible says two becoming one. Let us read the book of Matthew chapter 19 verse 1 to 6. Matthew chapter 19 verse 1 to verse 6. And it came to pass. Okay, let me read from verse 3. And the Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female? And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall leave to his wife, and their twins shall be one flesh. Verse 6 Therefore they are no more twins, but one flesh. What therefore hath God joined together let no man put asunder. What God has joined together let no man put asunder. So the joining together we read in that chapter is achieved by three things. Number one, sexuality. So, husband and wife become one when they have sex together. First Corinthians chapter 6 verse 16. He that is joined to an allot is of one body with that allot. So the moment a man and a woman join and have sex together, both of them become one flesh. Because, let me explain further. You see, when a man sleeps with a woman, there is a tendency of a child coming out from them. So two of their flesh is produced in one baby, or two babies. We call that the baby. Are you with me? So the two become one by the flesh that comes out from them. That is also the oneness. Also sexuality has spiritual implications. Sexuality brings about the joining together. So he that is joined to an allot is of one body with the allot. This is why you have to be very careful who you give your sexual life to. Because as a single you are not married, and you have slept with several ladies, there is what we call soul fragmentation. Soul fragmentation. If you are not married, or you are a married woman, you are a married man here, and you keep sleeping around, you are fragmenting your soul. It means you have been joined to several people. And that has spiritual implications. And you are a single man, a single brother, a single sister, and you keep sleeping with different ladies, you keep sleeping with different men, there is what is called soul fragmentation. It means that your soul has been divided into several people. Because two becomes one. Praise the Lord. So sexuality is one of the ways that two flesh becomes one. The number two is covenant with God. The covenant that exists between you and your wife, or you and your spouse, makes both of you to become one. The covenant of you living together. The covenant is not between you and man. The covenant is between both of you and God. Irrespective of where you did the wedding. If you did the wedding even inside the court, you did it inside the mosque, you did it inside the shrine, both of you become what? You become one. So irrespective of where you did your marriage or did your wedding, two has become one based on covenant. The covenant of both of you remaining together till death do apart. So the covenant makes both of you to become one. And that covenant is between both of you and God. It's not between both of you and your family members. So even if you say you don't want to get married again, and you return back the bride price, or you return back whatever they collected from you, and you say because of that you are free to remarry, it's a lie. Because marriage is not done because you paid money for the lady. Marriage is done based on what? Sexuality covenant. So even if you can do those things and return back the money, can you break covenant with God? Because if you break that covenant, God sees you as a covenant breaker. So God says whatsoever he has joined together, let no man put asunder. You have no power to put it first. Then the last of it all is soul tie. Soul tie also makes both of you to be one. As you are married, you don't know that there is soul tie existing between you and your husband, or you and your wife until something happens that distance your husband from you. I have seen women saying that, you know most especially those that are newly married, they don't know what has happened. They think that sex is just having fun. Until something happens, God forbid by the way, don't pray for that, their husband died, or their wife died, or there is something that took their husband away from them, and they are alone for some time. That is when they will start having that experience of soul tie. Because soul tie goes with many experiences. Number one, insecurity. When there is soul tie, you become insecure whenever your husband is far away from you. You will start thinking that something is happening to him over there. There will be insecurity, soul tie. So soul tie also makes you two to become one. And soul tie gives you the ability to perceive whatsoever evil is coming to your spouse. So there are some women, if something negative is happening to their husband, far away, they will be at home, they will be aware of it. They may not even be able to discern who is the person. But there will be some symptoms around them. There will be some symptoms around their husband. They will know that something is wrong somewhere, but they will not be able to catch where that thing is happening. And that is why we are talking about the danger of secrets in Christian marriage. Because where we read in the book of Genesis, we discovered that one of the things that God said about Adam, is that Adam was naked with his wife and they were not ashamed. So the first thing that the Bible has given to us as an insight about marriage, is that marriage is transparency between both parties. So the first revelation that God gave to us about marriage, was what? Transparency. Both of them were naked and were not ashamed. You shouldn't be ashamed before your spouse. Humans have the tendency of being ashamed. There is a nation in man that is ashamed. Everybody is ashamed. There is no shameless person. What you call a shameless person might be the area that that person doesn't see as a shame. There is some part of that person's life that that person will be ashamed of himself. Are you with me? So both of them were not ashamed because why? Transparency. So the first thing that the Bible exhorted in marriage, is that transparency is must in Christian marriage. You should be able to open up to your spouse. You should be free to open up to your spouse. You should be free. Praise the Lord. So transparency is the first revelation that God himself documented about marriage. That both of them were naked and they were not ashamed. Both of them were naked and they were not ashamed. If we were to explain that place allegorically, when we talk about a naked person, it's someone that is unclothed. Someone that is unclothed. That is a naked person. So a naked person is a person that doesn't have a covering on him. So when you are with your spouse, there shouldn't be a covering. If there is covering, you are breaking principle. And if you are breaking principle, your marriage would soon hit the lock button. Because if there is covering, you are going against the institution of marriage. You are going against the principle of marriage. You are going against the law that governs marriage. The law is that both of you shouldn't be ashamed of one another's nakedness. Don't be ashamed. Allegorically, we are not talking about the physical nakedness now. Literally, it's the physical nakedness. But what is the naked part of your life that you are ashamed to open up to your spouse? That the same thing is the thing that can destroy your marriage. That is why we are talking about secrets. The danger of keeping secrets. You shouldn't be ashamed to open up. Before your wife, you shouldn't be ashamed to open up anything. And your wife shouldn't be ashamed to open up to you as the husband. The Bible said that both of them were naked and they were not ashamed. Why will I be ashamed? Why should you be ashamed? When the institution of marriage permits openness, transparency, and somebody that is uncovered literally in the nature of man is ashamed. Uncovered person is ashamed literally in the nature of man. But when it comes to your spouse. Because the things we find in an uncovered person may be dangerous. For example now, you will start discovering that when some people begin to uncover their bodies, you will discover that some people have eczema in their bodies. Some people have ringworm in their bodies. Some people have skin inflammation in their bodies. Rashes in their bodies. So you see these clothes we use to cover our bodies cover many things that people are not seeing. So also in marriage, when you are covering things up, it means that you are covering up things that have tendency to destroy the health of your marriage. Now one of the things you must understand about openness, is that the Bible said that two of them have become one flesh. Thank God the Bible didn't say two of them have become what? One spirit. Can you hide yourself from yourself? Let me ask you this question. Are you ashamed of yourself? So why are two covering up? The Bible said two of you have become one. So there is no need for secrets. My body is your body. Both of you have got one flesh. And that is why they should be caring for one another because the flesh of your wife is your flesh. Your flesh is her flesh. So why should you be ashamed? The same way it goes to the principle of what we are talking about. When there is secret in marriages, the life span of that marriage will be shortened. I repeat, if there is secret, covering up secret in marriage, the life span of that marriage will soon be shortened. So when we talk about secrets, you have to understand the secret. Secrets are in being. When we talk about secrets, secret is hidden information that has great effects or impact on that marriage. It is not all secrets I am talking about. For example, I am a pastor. You can come to me for a counseling what is going on in your marriage. And then you want me not to open up. Of course, that is a secret I can keep. That does not have impact on my marriage. It does not concern my marriage. So when we talk about secrets here, we are not saying that you should open up everything everybody tells you. Of course, no. Even God himself. There are some things you tell God, he will never reveal it to another person. Are you getting me now? The secret we are talking about is the one that has effect and influence on your marriage. So that is the one we are talking about. That secret is a secret that can affect your marriage. That directly affects your marriage. That is a secret. And it becomes dangerous. If such a secret has a negative effect, or is having negative effect on your marriage, it becomes dangerous. If such secret you are keeping from your spouse, keeping away from your husband, is having negative effect in your marriage, it becomes dangerous also. If such secret becomes threatening to your marriage, it threatens your marriage. Now, I am going to tell you five things that whatsoever you are hiding, if that thing you are keeping or you are hiding is threatening these five things, then don't cover it up again. I am saying it to you. If the secret you are keeping is a threat to these five things, please don't cover it up. If the secret that you are keeping is a threat to these five things, please don't cover it up. Number one, if that secret that you are keeping away from your husband, away from your wife, number one, is a threat to the marriage convenance, don't keep it. If it is a threat to the marriage convenance, that means it can make you to break the convenance. If that secret is a secret that has broken the convenance, it has broken the convenance, or it can make you to break the convenance, don't keep it as a secret. Now, what is the convenance of marriage? You will never know any woman's nakedness. You will never know any man's nakedness apart from your wife, apart from your husband. Now, if you have committed adultery, or you are keeping a woman friend, you are yet to commit adultery, but you have a woman friend, you have a girlfriend, you have a man friend, that is already a threat to your marriage convenance. And if you have committed adultery already, it is a threat to your marriage convenance, you need to open it up to your spouse. Keeping it as a secret, you have broken the convenance of marriage. So, any secret that has broken the convenance of marriage, or is about to break the convenance of marriage, is a dangerous secret that can destroy your marriage. It is a dangerous secret that can shorten the life span of your marriage. You must have this understanding. Any secret that is a threat to your marriage convenance, is a dangerous secret. Don't hide it. Forget about if your husband will be offended with it. Forget about if your wife... It is better you open up and your husband ends up the marriage, because that secret you hide, is a threat to the marriage convenance. If you don't open up, dangerous things will begin to happen to your marriages. If you are not careful, you will start losing your children in the marriage. Because any convenance you break, when you break the marriage convenance, you invite the spirit of death, you invite the spirit of hardship, you invite the spirit of suffering, you invite the spirit of frustration, you invite the spirit of stagnation, you invite the spirit of loss of interest in the marriage. Either you will start losing interest, or your spouse that you are cheating on, suddenly she will start losing interest, or he will start losing interest. So, any secret that has broken the convenance of marriage, or is about to break the convenance of your marriage, is not a safe secret. It's not what? A safe secret. Call your spouse, and open up. And if you are under the sight of my teaching, and such thing has happened to you, please, come and meet me. Let us talk about it. It is a timely bomb. Even if you cover it for the next 20 years, I pray you should not die before 20 years later. And if God permits you not to die before 20 years later, your wife will still know. You see, there is a way the convenance fights against the breaker. There is a way the marriage convenance fights against the breaker. The Bible says there is no peace for the wicked. You will start losing things. You may even lose your place of work, lose money, lose opportunity. You will start losing your health. Don't hide it. Open it up. Don't hide it. Open it what? Up. So, any secret that is a threat to your marital convenance, marriage convenance, is not a safe secret. Number two, any secret that betrays marital trust is not a safe secret. Any secret you are covering up now, and you know if you open it up to your wife, it will affect the trust. If you open it up to your husband, it will affect the trust that your husband has on you. Or it will affect the trust that your wife has on you. It is not a safe secret. It is better you open it up. It is better you go to them and open it, than them finding out later. So, any secret that betrays the trust of your marital life, is not a safe secret. I am trying to teach you what is a secret, and how dangerous those secrets are. And I am very sorry if this message is going to offend you, but you see, we are tired of divorce. Most of these people that are divorcing, breaking marriages, if you go and ask both partners, if they are sincere, one of them is living double standard life, or both of them are living double standard life. And there is no way we can keep a good marriage, if this thing continues. Have you seen that our fathers of old, they live long till they die. Find that very well. They never cheat on their spouse. Even if they cheated, they have opened up. But this generation, we are full of secrets. The more we keep secrets, the more we get closer to destruction. So, there is no way, the secret you are keeping is betraying the trust, that your spouse asked for you. You are aware that if your spouse gets to know, that you are keeping a man friend, or you are keeping a woman friend, and this is not just ordinary friend, it is someone that the friendship has gone beyond ordinary. You are now having a special caring, special love, special amount of money, you are giving to that person. And that the same thing you have not done, 1% of those things for your wife. You have not done 1% of those things for your husband. And you are having something that is, in fact that person, what the attention you give to that person, is greater than the attention you give to your wife. Is greater than the attention you give to your husband. That thing is betraying your marital trust. It is not a secret. Open up, tell your spouse. Even if something has not happened between both of you, tell your spouse that this person, is trying to take my love for you away. And both of you should end up that relationship. Don't cover it up as a secret. Or there is a man somewhere that is giving you special care, on behalf of your husband. Don't say it is a secret, don't hide it, open it up to your husband. Because that thing is going to betray the trust, if your husband finds out later. If your husband finds out later, it will betray the trust your husband has for you. And let me say this to you, 90% of marriages that ended up in divorce, one of the first thing they lost in that marriage is trust. So be careful not to make, be careful to keep your trust intact. Are we together? I believe you are getting blessed. Number 3 is marital fidelity. Marital faithfulness. If the thing will make you to betray your faithfulness to the marriage, don't cover it up. Don't cover it up. If the thing, because you see, marriage revolves around about, well I say 3 things, number 1, marriage revolves around about sex. Both of you must be faithful to one another in sexual purity. Marriage revolves around about money. Money. Money. Money. Is it why I mention money? Yes, I mention it more than 2 times. So, if you are not faithful to the marital agreement on your financial life, it is a threat to your marriage. Marriage revolves around about money. Number 3, which is the last of it all, to my best of knowledge, there may be other things too, but to my best of knowledge, this is my number 3. Marriage revolves around about attention. So, let me come again. Number 1 is what? Eh? Number 1 is sex. Number 2 is what? Money. Number 3 is what? Attention. Sex, money, attention. Satisfy one another sexually. Financially, take care of one another. Give one another attention. Your marriage will last till death. These 3 things we are talking about, is it the same 3 things why marriages are breaking? Neither if it is sexual problem, it will be financial problem. If it is not financial problem, it will be attention problem. If these 3 things, if there is anybody coming to scatter these 3 things, that person becomes an enemy of your marriage. He is coming to take sex away from your wife towards herself, or from your husband, sorry, from your husband towards herself, or from your wife towards himself. That person is coming to become a barrier, of you always meeting your husband's needs, sexual needs. Or that person is becoming a barrier, of you meeting your wife's sexual needs. That person becomes an enemy to your marriage. I am saying this. And it should not be secret. If you discover that any lady, any woman, who is a friend to your wife, is private chatting you, and is trying to seduce you, if you keep that as a secret, you are a disappointment to manhood. Open up. Open up to your wife. Because that secret has a tendency to destroy your marital convent. It has a tendency to dislocate your marital faithfulness. Are we together? God has been blessing us in this ministry. If you follow what we are teaching here, you will not have problems. So number 3 is what? Number 2 is marital fidelity. That is number 3, sorry. Then number 4 is marital finance. Your financial life. I know there are times where some women can misbehave. It can make you to become very secretive in giving to other people. But when it comes to the opposite sex, please inform your wife. When there is opposite sex outside, not your family member, not your younger sister, not someone that is your family, someone outside, someone not even related to you, it might just be friendship in the church, friendship in the business place, any lady that is coming to ask you for financial support, please let your wife know. Wives, please let your husband know when you want to support a guy outside. That is how to protect your marital financial life. Because if you keep it secret and you start supporting that lady, there is a certain key here you will show towards a woman. She will start admiring you. And she will start seeing you as the right person for her. And she will come up with a story like, your wife is not appreciating yourself. Your wife doesn't know the kind of man she has married. She is taking you for granted. So she will then start manipulating on you. Because the more you are giving her money, the more she will be giving you special care and attention. The calling and the shaking up in your place of work, that she is supposed to be, that your wife is supposed to be doing, she will be the one doing. She will be asking you, how was your day? Hope you are having a good day. What kind of question is that? Those questions are meant for the wife. How is your day? I am just letting me shake up on you. Hope you are doing fine. Hope you have a wonderful day. Hope you have a wonderful sleep at night. As far as you are dealing with a man, you don't ask those kind of questions. You go to that... If you want to ask, it is about the health. That means that person is sick. And it should be someone that your husband knows. Someone that your wife knows. Don't build familiarity towards your opposite sex. It will destroy your marriage. If you are chatting with any opposite sex, on Facebook, on WhatsApp, let your spouse know. Give your spouse the phone to go through the... If I see delete, and your wife came short and sent to me and said, I was going through my husband's chat with this particular lady, and I am seeing deleting, deleting, deleting. That thing you are deleting, you come and discuss it with me. Let your wife see everything. Let your husband see everything. So that trust, trust, trust, trust, can be maintained. Fight to keep the trust of the marriage. Fight to keep it. If trust leave that marriage, you will regret. As a woman, fight to keep the trust. Don't allow your husband to start suspecting you. Most men hardly suspect their wives, because they leave their wives at home and go to work. But if you allow your husband to start suspecting you, it will be showing in his character. He won't be giving you the privileges. Let me say this to every woman here. This is a wonderful program. Let me say this to you. The reason your husband is giving you the treatment he is giving to you, is playing with you, laughing with you, is because he has not found what... If a man turns his back against you, anger will kill you. Find that 90% of women are fed by their husbands. Even if they have a man, if the man decides to withdraw their father, they will be broke. Because when a woman comes into the life of a man, there is a clear difference of how she was before. There will be total transformation. Because the financial and the spending come from the man. Don't allow your husband to start suspecting you. They shouldn't be suspicious in the marriage. Don't allow the suspect in the marriage. I don't like that. How will you be in the 90 weeks, secretly carry your wife's phone to the bedroom, to outside the compound, where you are staying, to just read her WhatsApp messages? What kind of thing is that? It should be that for the last 10 years, sorry, for the last 2 years, I have never carried my wife's phone to check who she chatted with, or who she... Because your suspicion is all about she chatted with a man. Why? Because you suddenly discover that she is becoming rude to you. And anytime a woman is becoming rude and arrogant towards the husband, there is somebody already that she is on to. There shouldn't be marital secrets in marriages. In my ministry, every minister we ordain must be married. We don't... We hardly ordain people into starting a branch church when they are not married. If they are not married, they can be minister in the headquarters. They can be minister in the fellowship headquarters. And if we discover that the ministers that are in the ministry are not faithful towards their spouse, we pull them down. We remove them immediately. We don't tolerate that. And God has been helping us, because even as we are starting gradually now, we try to make this a consistent effort. I keep repeating this in teachings, keep repeating this when I am having personal counseling with them. I don't think we should have a failed marriage. Marriage is hard work. There will be temptations. But make sure that nothing touches these 5 things I am listing to you. Nothing touches your marital covenant. Nothing touches your marital trust. Nothing is touching the fidelity in your marriage, marital faithfulness. Nothing is touching your marital financial life. And the last of it all is marital sexual purity. Marital sexual purity. It should be that ever since you got married to your wife, you have never known any woman's nakedness. At any time we come to the church, we need to be asking all the workers, all the pastors and all the members, that you ask the woman, you married your husband 20 years ago, since you married your husband 20 years ago, have you ever known any other man's nakedness? These are the things which we should be celebrating in church. What are we celebrating? Celebrating a fornicator who won an award, international award, and the newspaper carried the fornicator everywhere, and we are clapping and celebrating fornicators. We are not giving room for sexual purity. We are the ones pushing on sexual purity. We are still the same ones celebrating fornicators. And anybody that asks breakthrough, we say it's grace. What kind of grace? Grace that doesn't change a man. The grace of God has appeared unto all men, teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, virtuously and godly in this world. We should be celebrating in the church the oldest married couples that have never cheated on their spouse. If you know you are the oldest married couple here, and you have never cheated on your spouse, please see the usher at the end. That's what we should be celebrating. We give them cars, give them houses, give them gifts, celebrating purity. Not that we have sisters and brothers just five years in marriage, a lady has slept with two men. Just five years in marriage, a man has slept with twenty women. And they still come to church, give testimony with tears and we clap for them. Clap for people that God is seeing secrets in their life. Full up. They have secrets. You can call them secretive. It shouldn't be like that in the Christian marriage. There shouldn't be secrets there. Making the woman to keep crying, frustration, depression. Making the man to live in fear, frustration and depression. It shouldn't be like that. Even if there is no body for you to imitate and to copy in the society, towards Christian marriage. Can't you go back to the Bible? Did you see? The scripture never permits such. An adulterer is an enemy of God. Friendship with the world is an enmity with God. If any man would be a friend of this world, he is an enemy of God. Sexual purity. Your sexual life is for your spouse alone. And let me say that to men. Because after you have finished shitting outside, and your wife wanted to touch you, you say, I am tired. Why do you want to be tired? When you have five women you are servicing outside. When you finish servicing, then you will carry the remains to home. In order for your wife not to suspect you, you will carry the remains. And after one second, you say you are done. Because there are people outside servicing you. And you say, if I open up now, my marriage will scatter. Is it the keeping of secrets that will strengthen your marriage? And some women, you will hear that they are working till the next day. The husband thinks that they are in a place of work. They are making secrets. The husband thinks that they are in a place of work. They are sleeping with their bosses. Sleeping with their bosses. Until today, your husband, even the first child you have is not your husband. You know that the child you have, one of the children you have is not for your husband. How unfortunate to discover that this is happening in Christian communities. How sad to discover that this is happening in Christian communities. How sad. That the child, the first child is not for your husband. And it is more than 28 years you have not opened up. You think that God will forget? You don't know that your child is already in eternity waiting for you to be judged? Your child is already in eternity waiting for you to be judged? Because your husband doesn't have money to go and do, what is it called? Is it genotype test? I don't know. What is it called? Because he doesn't have money to do that. I think they say the money is more than $200,000, $500,000 to do that. So you decide to keep the secret. And heaven is watching you. And you are here crying, God remember me. Which God will remember you? Anything that becomes threat to our marital sexual purity is a red flag. Cut it off. Let me continue. I don't want to take much time. I'm already taking much time. I'm already taking much time. Marriage is two becoming one. And what God has made one, nobody should make it two. What God has joined together, no one should make and put it asunder. When a marriage is divided, because marriage is not only divided by somebody coming to put asunder. Marriage is also divided by one of the couples or one of the parties keeping secret. You can put your marriage asunder by keeping secret. Would you forget about people coming to, my mother-in-law is trying to break my marriage. That is okay. It happens sometimes. But you can break your own marriage by keeping secret. And when a marriage is already breaking, these are three experiences, I mean five experiences you are going to have. When a marriage is full of secret, there is secret inside, and it's in the process of breaking. These are the experiences you will have. Number one, lack of peace. There won't be peace in the home. There won't be peace in the home. Suddenly, peace will disappear. There won't be, any peace you find is artificial. It's only there for just two hours. There won't be peace in that home. Number two, there won't be, there will be unanswered prayers. Unanswered prayers. Every prayer prayed in that family will not be answered. You are wasting your time. If you pray at all, you are wasting your time because one of you, and you see, one of the mysteries about marriage is that, if one of you is keeping secret, it affects both of you. That is just the problem. It affects both parties. If I decided to keep secret from my wife, the hardship and the toughness will affect me and my wife. Even though my wife is living a godly life, the unanswered prayer can be for both of us, because two has become one. That is the mystery of it. I will keep praying night and day, because my wife is keeping secret. That threatens the marriage. You will discover, On these dates, when I told you I was going to my father's house, that is how your marriage will work. If she doesn't open up that it was not her father's house she went to, she went to visit her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend. If your wife didn't open up, you will see that both of you will be praying, going to church, your pastor will soak you in anointing oil, and yet nothing will happen. That is how your marriage will work. If she doesn't open up that it was not her father's house she went to, she went to visit her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend. And yet nothing will happen. That is the mystery about marriage. There will be what? Unanswered prayers. Number three, there will be hardship. There will be hardship. When you are going through hardship, and both of you interview one another, and there is truth, no secrets, then when both of you hold your ears, and lift up those ears and pray, you will see God will come to intervene. But you see, as you hold the ears of your husband, your husband is holding the ears of somebody else that you are not aware of. So God does not join three people together, He joins two. So every time God sees your husband or sees your wife, He is seeing four people in the presence of your husband. You are not the Holy Face inside your husband. There is another lady, another lady, another one. So that is why you will pray, nothing will happen. There will be hardship. Sudden hardship. Loss of money. Sickness. Things that will be taking your money away. Then number four is disappointment and failure. Disappointment and failure. You will start experiencing disappointment and failure. Everything you do will be failing. Business will be failing. Career will fail. Things will just be losing. You will just keep losing things. Then number five is sudden death. That is not your portion. That is why I am teaching you here that you should go and open up. There can be sudden death. Sudden. Sudden death. Sudden death. Sudden death. Of the wife or the children of somebody. Innocent people will just start dying because you have broken the edge. The serpent will bite. Any marriage where there is hidden secrets or covering secrets, such marriage will perpetually face demonic attacks. And if they are not careful, it will end up in divorce. So before you call pastor, before you call the prayer warriors, before you call the prophetess, make sure that your hand and the hand of your wife, both of you, have clean hands. Don't call prophetess and prayer warrior to come and pray all through the night for what is not existing. They are binding what is not existing. So before you say your family is under demonic attack, be sure that both of you have clean hands. And both of you have prayed and see there is nothing working. Then you call the prophetess and the prophet and the people, your pastor, everywhere. They will come and pray. Miracle will take place. But if your hands are not clean, you are wasting time. You are wasting time. Because where there are secrets, you know I have studied the kind of secrets that, the one that affects your marriage. When there are secrets covering, demons will be present there. Because there is darkness. And anywhere there is darkness, there will be agents of who? Of darkness. Rulers of darkness in that home. The Lord is speaking to somebody already. The Lord is already communicating to somebody already. My brother, I am asking you this question. Are there things you have said that you will never and you can never open up to your wife? My sister, hey, I am talking to you. Are there things that you can say, boldly, that you can never open up to your husband? Unfortunately, your husband is not even aware that you are married before. Before you met your husband. And that secret is fighting against your marriage. Your husband is not aware that you have children somewhere. There was a woman that called me. She has stayed with her husband for about 5 to 6 years that time. Before she discovered that her husband had grown up children. And your husband has married twice. Your husband has married twice. Before your husband met her. Yet, the woman never opened up. If the woman is going to the village, she will be saying that she is going to visit his people in the village. Not knowing that she was going to visit his family in the village. And I say that is not marriage. I am coming with the teaching on what is marriage and what is not marriage. Because we are so careful. Christians are so careful. They don't want to break a home. Just allow them to stay together. Which allows them to stay together? Somebody has a family somewhere. And he is coming to marry our sisters. And we are saying that we don't want to break them and affect their faith. You see, if that affects their faith, that means they are not born again before. You open up the truth. They were not born again before. You separate them. You can't marry somewhere. Your wife is somewhere else. You deceive the lady that you have not married before. And now you have married. And God is revealing to us that you have married before. And then we called you and you opened up to us that you have children somewhere. You have a wife somewhere. And you are saying that if we let your wife hear our sister know that there won't be peace in the world. Is there peace before? So we must understand. I am speaking to every one of you. Let your marriage be built on transparency. And both of them were naked and they were not ashamed. Shall we bow our heads for prayer? Talk to the Lord and say, Father. Help me. If you have made a mistake, come and see me. Not only prayer. We need to talk. But if you have not made a mistake, say, Lord, help me to be faithful to my spouse. Help me to practice what your servant has spoken to me about. Help me, O God, not to keep any secret that can destroy my marriage. Open your mouth and begin to talk to the Lord. Amen.
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