YOUR RELATIONSHIP MESS

Hey y'all it's your girl Pamela Denise and welcome to another episode. I am your host of black women's butts and our relationships with black men. How y'all doing out there? I love to hear from y'all. Y'all know how I do. Welcome back. Welcome back. How's everybody? I hope you're good. I hope y'all good. I hope y'all good. Oh I can't wait. We're going to go live. We're going to give you guys two weeks notice when we're going to go live on Instagram so you won't have any excuse why you didn't come, why you didn't show up but um hey we're going to have the rumor meal. I just can't wait we got so much stuff coming. Give us some time just a few conflicts of scheduling. However, I am your girl Pamela Denise and I just love y'all but we're back and we are going to talk about today a friend of mine posed a question. I really wanted to wait till Friday for food for thought Friday but hmm we'll talk about it a little bit today and then we'll touch base touch back on it on Friday. I don't want to bore you guys anyways. I could never be boring but we want to talk about is it is it easier in my opinion I think it is easier to to stay in your relationship that is a mess especially when it's it's longevity. You don't know what you're you're getting yourself into for the next person but for me for me it's hard to stay in something that's a mess. I'm sorry I just can't do it that's some bullshit I can't do it I can't stay in a relationship that is just a mess primarily because I operate in self-love. I think I talked about it previously so you guys who missed it go back and review some of those shows baby giving you guys some knowledge and some love you got to love yourself you gotta love yourself first my brother my sister but one of my friends was telling me the other day you gotta live life you gotta live life and that means your mental health. That means your peace if you're in a relationship where you're calling it or you're saying they're not supporting me this is some bullshit this is you got a problem because you got to figure out if you're going to be able to tolerate that and that was the question is it is it best to just stay in something because there's so much other things that are out here you know that it could be worse that's the scary part it could be worse but when you operate in self-love you're only going to want to be around people that love you and operate the way you treat yourself we talked about this already so I just wanted to touch bases just because it's a friend of mine and I think they are mad cool I think they're mad cool we all got goals we all got things we got to do and if we didn't do it a long time ago we're trying to do it now you need all the support you need baby you need support coming from this end that end and you need the love okay you don't need nobody tearing you down bringing you down trust me you don't need that so yeah it's just operate operate you start doing yourself an operation put yourself in an operation operating room and just start self-loving on yourself and like I said that's I want to touch bases on that I did talk about it before but it's like I said it's a mad cool friend of mine so this episode is a special for them we're going to have coming up the rumor meal I'm talking about some of the Hollywood hot topics honey well some of the Hollywood hot stuff y'all know what I'm saying on the rumor meal and I hope huh we just let me talk about rumors I don't I don't care I don't care how you I don't I don't think I heard the rumor meal before I heard it somewhere but we we got some rumors we just gonna say this say that whatever is allegedly y'all know how it work it's coming up it's coming up you'll hear it from me you'll hear it from co-hosts that'll be popping we're gonna be talking about a little bit gossip so it's gonna be getting a little steamy so you might have to I know what's about to get cold it was cold today but it's about to get cold so you might just have to take off you know take off your jacket and just cuz it's gonna get hot but yeah I love you guys I love talking to you guys I think you guys are just amazing we're gonna have it where you guys are able to call in leave a voice message we're going to be going on where you can go back and look at the videos on YouTube things are coming I promise you they're coming slowly but surely we just we're just working on all the kinks but I do want to touch back on just put yourself in an operation operation love yourself I just love that I just love it because that way you won't allow anybody to mistreat you when you doing operation self-love but oh I want to touch base so we didn't get to talk about Jada's book worthy I you gave the book two thumbs up she was authentic she she brought some realness a lot of y'all can't tell your truth a lot of y'all okay what's nobody's business your truth but when you can start speaking your truth you can start healing you can start healing a lot faster than a person that cannot speak their truth I give Jada that book two thumbs up and you know what I'm not gonna get I'm not gonna get too deep with it because honestly I don't know the real deal with her and Will's relationship you know now it's some other things that came out this week about will allegedly I'm gonna I'll come back I'll talk about that next Tuesday okay so everybody not doing the right thing everybody not doing what's right so yeah it's a lot of talk but I'm talking about the book the book was good she she touched on a lot you know get the book hell if you don't want to read the book get the audio listen to it I think it's I think it's healing for her it don't matter about all this other stuff that y'all are saying she's telling her truth and who I loved or you know yeah it's my business but I feel like I want to speak my truth and if it's healing for me then hell that's what I'm gonna do so like I said I give the book a good rating I'm worthy by Jada Pickett Smith the sister you know mental health y'all is for real is for real stop stop sugarcoating it and stop acting like when people do certain things that it's just it's just a human being that's doing it it sometimes it's mental health in the way hello hello the reason why people are doing certain things or saying thirst certain things is because they're dealing with mental health come on they got some things that they're dealing with and stop acting like some of y'all acting like y'all to the to good you know what I'm trying to say to to good shoes what you know what I'm trying to say that are just too good I'm gonna have to edit that because you y'all I was getting kind of into it but stop stop acting like y'all are too good you know and someone's middle health that is the number one reason and the cause of some of their actions so okay that person needs to get some help okay but who's casting a stone okay that person may need to get some help Jesus get give it a break and the way you know everybody oh she needs to she's tearing them down she turned down okay well we don't we don't really know the stuff that I just saw this week I'm like honey it's some it's some reasons why some things get done by the how the way they get done because we really don't know the real deal of what's going on behind closed doors baby just say that we don't really know what be going on behind closed doors but we are going to be talking about some rumors allegedly some things we're gonna have a little you know cuz there but you know everybody's talking about what while we don't why are we not going to talk about it we don't touch bases on it too but I mean our show is you know we are we are on here talking about relationships black women's butts and images and relationships are black man that is our that is our main goal but why why we gonna miss some juicy juicy tea why we gonna miss that we we gonna get get into some of that too I mean especially has to do with relationships and so I wanted to make sure that I touched on how I felt about Jada's book y'all y'all we don't really know so stop stop and I hate it I hate it because people be trying to stop people from speaking their truth you know I was listening to to Stephen a Smith he he was real it was real he was real serious about that thing have you been married or you been divorced have you been through that okay to everybody's has a story let people tell their story and if they choose to tell it but in the public they choose to tell it in private is what hell they want to do now like I said the news that I saw this week allegedly about will honey honey okay so you so stop acting like we too good some people be healing some people be in their healing moment where they are hell they write a book hell they talk about what they want to talk about and yes she did talk about she talked about Tupac yeah she talked about him but she also told the truth in her book you know it was her truth hell I don't know if it's a lie it's her truth so I just didn't get caught up with all the people can't people can't speak what they want to speak people can't say what they want to say speak your truth you be if you've been especially you've been with somebody so many amount of years nobody has the right to tell you talk for you to talk about your story you talk about your story to whoever the hell you want to talk about it to and that's keeping in 100 the main thing is is that we as people not just african-americans we need to heal and that is going to have to be any means necessary whatever you have to do to heal some people are still dealing with the damages effect of their relationships oh this person shouldn't be no okay no mind your business mind your business I'm gonna say you know to each his own I love the book don't know much about you know what the relationship because I can't speak it's hard for me to speak on somebody else's relationship well we don't really know the actual truth all I know is is some tea just coming out that I saw this week which it's always been said but I just kind of like flip past it you know you know that's that's a married man you know but allegedly things ain't all perfect perfect honey things ain't all perfect so y'all the ones is you know like I said write a book if you trying to heal so you can speak your truth and nobody can tell you how to speak your truth you speak it how you want to speak about it and the fact that she has a she has older kids I mean it is what it is they're older you know people got to live their lives and living your life is part of your history your truth whatever the case might may be and it's not like you have you know in her in her case she don't have younger kids she has kids that are intelligent enough to understand when a person goes through something in life it's a they they're healing whatever the case may be they've healed their happy space that her kids are old enough they're adults now they're they're old enough to understand and know you know people can say that they're old enough to understand and know like these are her truths you know and it is what it is and like I said we didn't know during the during the night of the Chris Rock slap that they were they were separated it was every for seven years we I never knew that but you know we're not in Hollywood we don't know everything a lot of people probably knew that are in in their circles hell but people oh she can't talk about she could talk about whatever the hell she want to talk about that's my take on it the book worthy check it out I thought it was great I thought not only a lesson for me speak your mind don't let people try to silence you it's a part of healing it's a part of being the best you can be in life in your your life that you have remaining on this hell maybe nobody wants to hear your truth so what if you as long as you speak it you you get it out you know who you are as a person it's your story do whatever we do you don't know how I do do whatever the hell you want to do live your life don't let people your mental health your peace make that the top of your priority put yourself in an operation operation self-love love yourself so everybody else around you to understand your boundaries you only you're only looking for everybody that's around you for that same treatment on how you treat yourself it's so important so Tuesday and Friday food for thought Friday we're going to touch back on just staying in the bullshit the damages that it could do you do you can do damages you could you can be damaging yours further damaging yourself and the longer we all know the longer we stay in it the harder it is to get out of and the more mental damage you are doing to yourself so if you know that you are damaging yourself mentally because of relationship is it really worth that that will be food for thought Friday how much how much damage are you are you willing to to put up with how much are you you're trying to wait for you most people oh it'll get better we just talk it through we just talk it through like what what do you what what is your plan you got to have you got to have a better plan than that we're going we don't work things out you don't work things out I hear that a lot but how do you work it out it's easy to say we're gonna work it out but do you put your plan into action to working out the I'm not gonna say if you're saying it's the bullshit then you're to that point to where huh it's up there it's up there but is it something that is small to where you may be be able to just tweak tweak something and it's like and you're back smooth sailing for the next five or six ten years a long term or however cuz honey I I'm just saying I'm just saying we we all have a goal a goal in mind and that's to love the person that we love and be with the person that we want to be with we all have a goal in mind you know long term and then it's beautiful when you see y'all know it's true it's beautiful when you can see couples that oh we've been together 50 years they and they'll tell you it hasn't always been easy but what is what can you tolerate and what can you put up with what's the worst of the worst I'm gonna put my mental health first I'm going to put my piece first I'm gonna self love and then you you gotta have you're gonna have that that operation that operation around you all right y'all so I just love talking to y'all I am your girl Pam Denise and I'm glad you were able to join another podcast black women's butts and our relationships with black men you can talk about whoever you can love whoever you want to love baby well let's talk about it I love y'all and remember we're gonna have where you're gonna be able to go on we're gonna be going live on Instagram you're gonna be able to call in to give her a comment and you're gonna also be able to send emails as well that is coming up I hope y'all can hear me I hope I don't sound like muffled let me know let me know because we're doing some editing on the sound check as well we're just trying to work on a lot girl we we're trying to work on a lot of stuff y'all so girl guy y'all know I y'all know I love y'all who all listening I just want to do what we do keep it 100 we don't want to get a little we don't want to get too too messy on the show but honey I want to get messy bye y'all I love y'all y'all girl Pamela Denise until next time food for thought Fridays Tuesdays we'll call them terrific terrific Tuesday I just I just love y'all thank y'all for listening good night and I know some of y'all going because tonight is Halloween it's a full moon no I don't think it's a full moon but the mood is right tonight so the mood is right so I know I got to get off here some of y'all got something to do and things to do and some doing to do all right all right is your girl Pamela Denise thank y'all for listening and until next time love who you love so let's talk about it baby bye y'all