Moya#01

The speaker is discussing their recent hospital visit due to being sick. They had been feeling sick for a few days and experienced symptoms such as shivering and micro-sleeping. They were concerned about their health and called an ambulance. The speaker describes their experience in the ambulance, feeling nauseous but not throwing up. They also mention being strapped in with an orange seatbelt-like device. The speaker questions the choice of hospital and mentions an Uber situation that occurred later. Good morrow, kings of conversation, I should probably do that, because it's royalty. Okay, sorry. Good morrow, royalty, and welcome to kings of conversation, a podcast where one of us talks, the other ones listen, and then we duke it out in a battle of wits and figure out who the next week's king of conversation is. So, Moya, last week was a moment, and I need the world to know, because this is about my hospital visit, this is real. I'm, like, I didn't tell, I didn't even tell you what this week's king of conversation is, because I really wanted to, like, just throw this out there, because I'm fucking upset. No, I curse. Um, it's okay, Jake, we'll fix it in post. Anyways, um, so, I, like, this is last week. I've been sick for a couple days. I was sick on Saturday, and then I got, um, no, I went to a party on Saturday, and then Sunday, I was really sick. And I was, like, shivering in bed, I was like a Victorian child, it was absurd. Um, and so then I was sick on Sunday, and then Monday we had no school, right? And then, what did I do Tuesday? Uh, and then, like, Tuesday I was like, it's okay, Tuesday's not as bad as maybe Tuesday. Um, and Wednesday was the same, but the Thursday, it got really bad. It was bad, the Thursday. Um, so, for a little bit of context, I don't ever, like, get, it was called micro-sleeping, because I found out later, but at the time, that's never happened to me before. It's also terrifying of the concept. Yeah, I, I was, literally, I would fall asleep, wake up, like, two seconds later, and I couldn't figure out how long time has passed. Right. Because I'm usually, like, if I drift off to sleep, because I'm so exhausted, I drift off to sleep, like, I don't expect to wake up a few seconds later. It was literally... Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. At the time, I didn't know that's what that was, so I was like, oh my god, am I, like, fainting and waking up every two seconds? I, like, mentioned it all the time to my mom, and I was like, dude, I'm gonna call the hospital, like, I'm... You're not, you're not, like, well enough. Yeah. Right. And I was like, you know what, okay. Wasn't it, like, public safety who, like, had to knock on your door and be like, get, get, get out? Dude, they did have a catcher at my door. I was walking to get my Starship, because I was like, I need to go to the hospital, but I want a frappuccino. The only thing that matters. I really wanted something sweet, and I just, I was like... Did you get the frappuccino? No. Because this would be really... No. No. They caught me at the door, and I was like, I don't know if they'll let me in. They knew who you were? No, they didn't. I saw them walk in, and I was like, are you guys looking for me? And they were like, Karina Perez, and I was like, yeah. Karina, you should have waited until you got your frappuccino. Because I was worried that, like, if they go in and I didn't tell them, they would go into my room and be like, okay, no one's here. And then just, like, I don't know, leave. I didn't know what would happen. I was like, let me... Why didn't you say, hey, can I at least get my frappuccino? Because I was worried that if I said that, they wouldn't think I was sick enough, and they'd be like, okay, you're faking it. You're faking it. I really wished you would have texted me and been like, I need you to come with me to the hospital. And then I would have, like, distracted them, and then you could have got your frappuccino. Thank God you ordered McDonald's that day, because I hadn't eaten all day. Right, yeah. It was, like, the problem is that when you've been sick, and your mouth just feels awful, you don't want something salty or greasy. So I was like, I need something sweet. I need something sweet. That's why I got the goddamn frappuccino. Instead of, like... Waffle and Sips needs to be open more often. Yes. Waffle and Sips is so good, and needs to be open more often. I need to take it up with Mr. Wagner himself. We have a new president, did you know that? I saw the email. I don't know who it is. I mean, Wagner, did you hear this? Yay, new president! Congratulations! Yay! I'll read the email, I swear. I didn't. I just realized. I think his name is Jeff Brogert. And I'm definitely wrong on that, and that's okay. Jeff! Woo! Why did his name be like Brian? Lead our nation. Anyways. So, I didn't get it, and also, a little bit of context, I take Prozac. I take three medications, and one of them is Prozac. And I was researching it, and I was like, researching what meds you can take, painkillers with Prozac, and it said you can't take ibuprofen with Prozac because it could cause internal bleeding. I'll tell you later on, that might be a bit of a lie, but I will say that later. No. Okay. So, but at the time, I was like, I can't take ibuprofen, and I have to text in a group chat, I have to be like, guys, I'm done. I remember that, yeah, yeah, yeah. At that point, it's like, yeah, get to a hospital. Yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Right. Insurance? I don't know. I think med, wait, I think. Yeah, because I think Medicare is the old people one, and then they were like, but Obamacare, you remember that? It's not important. For real, me with Gov in high school. Our Gov teacher was like, and there are people out here who hate Obamacare but hate Medicare, and I'm like, it's the same thing, and she went on a rant. We had an AP test the next day. What was she doing? Love her though, she's great. Yeah. That's the, yeah, no, and I fully love that form of teaching, because it's like, you have one kid who maybe they show up all the time and yada yada, but if they're like, a dumbass, in the most kindest way possible, like if they're disrespectful in class. Yeah, I'll, I'm editing this one, so I'll leave it. Yeah, I think so. Well, we're doing it, and it's not Jake, so I think. Right. I can't. I can't say my favorite one, and that's so sad. Anyways. Cunt! Sorry, okay. Where was I? I literally just forgot. Okay. What did I just say? Go. Go. What the? Teacher. Oh, yeah, because like, if you're a dumbass, and like, you disrespect everyone in the class by like, acting out, then like, no, you don't get a good grade just because you showed up. But like, if you're like, someone like you, who like, tries their hardest for like, when they are there, then obviously, like, it takes into account the whole situation. Sorry. Just a personal vendetta I have against all people who disrespect teachers in class. You're real, and like, he was one of these, I, to this day, don't know why he was kind of soft on me about all this, because he would be very. He knew you were a history lover. But like, he was very nice about it, and oh my god, the one, the one court case I didn't really study was one that ended up on the AP exam, and it was Citizens versus. Citizens United versus FTC. Yeah. I know what you're talking about. It's, it's the whole thing with the, the money is free speech, so they have the right to do that, and I forgot which rule it is, but that's the main point of it all. It was the only court case. That you didn't study. And didn't read up, and didn't really understand, and showed up in the AP gov final exam or whatever. The big test. I was the big boy, and when I tell you that was one of the worst things of my life, devastating. Devastating. You know what was another worst thing of my life? Being sick. In the hospital, right? In the goddamn hospital. I, what was I, yes, the ambulance came to pick me up. The ambulance came to pick you up. Yes, this lady, she was super nice, not nice in the way of like, hee hee hee, super sweet, but nice in the way of like, very genuine. Right, and like doing the job to the fullest extent. Yeah, I got you, I got you. So, um, um, what was I saying? Yeah, so she came, and she was like, she like took my vitals and stuff, and she like strapped me in, and, okay, so I wasn't throwing up, but I was being really nauseous. Right. And that was just laying down and standing still. This ride might have been the most harrowing experience of my life, because I'm being sloshed around. And yeah, not thrown up, I'm sloshed around. But like, wait, were you like sitting? Or were you like? Oh, I was sitting. Okay. I was sitting, I was strapped in. Strapped in? Like, like, like. Yeah. Real. Because it's like, I'm assuming for like, if I'm really sick, I'm like starting to fall or something. Like, I understood that part. But like, not like a normal seatbelt? Like, fully like. Uh, it was orange. Whoa. I don't know. Was it different from like a normal seatbelt? I think it was a bit, uh, an extra strap or something. I'm not gonna lie, I'm imagining, imagining you sitting in a chair with like a strap across like, your shoulders, your stomach, and like your legs, and you can't move. Yeah, I'm in like a straight jacket. Right. And I'm like, how, how? No, this is just a normal seatbelt thing. But, oh my god. I've been driven around before. And, yeah. I know what driving feels like. Why is Staten Island, like, uh. Also, wait, hold on. Do you know what else I have like issues with? Why did they take you to like, Staten Island University Hospital? I. Richmond University is like closer. Really? Really. I. I want to get started with that, because then an Uber situation happens. Not even with you. I won't. No, is it the one that you told me when we were in the Uber that finally got to you? Probably. Okay. But, for the story to be coherent, I need to go from moment to moment, because if I don't. Go from moment to moment. Like, there's too much, there's too much. And continue your story. I go to, so, they drive me. Right. And they're doing a Formula 51, apparently, because it's. Formula 51. I literally had to go to this woman. I had to be like, do you have a barf bag? Please help. And she was like, yeah, here you go. And like, thank God I didn't throw up. But I. Is that the little bag that you were holding? Yes. You got that from inside the. Oh, my God. And when you found me, and I was, I look like a. A little, like a. Puppy. The only thing I needed left was like a, the, the hospital robe. You really did. And like, only wearing a dress bag. So, when you looked out the window, I was like, oh, she's gone. My, my hands up to the glass, and help. I swear to God, a tear could have fallen from your eye. I probably would have. I, when I found out that you were an Uber, I wandered around. Because I was only wearing my slippers. Right. I was wandering around Staten Island University Hospital. And I was just like, in every parking lot. Mm-hmm. And I, like, if I saw myself, I would have avoided myself. You know what I think you may have looked like? Ebenezer Scrooge, like, going to sleep, but like, he's like, senile. That would be real if I wasn't wearing a full dress. Right. That's the only difference. But. That, yeah. Ebenezer Scrooge in the 21st century. You know how he, like, walks around in that slow shuffle? Oh, absolutely. Right. I love Scrooge. My favorite, my favorite Christmas guy that sucks is the British. Forever. Jim Carrey. We've talked extensively about. I forgot about that, yeah. We, yeah. It's on record. We know. We know you hate. I still can't say his name. Benedict Cumberbatch is great, but Jim Carrey's great. I love, if any time I ever had to say his name, it's just your voice over it. I still can't say. Benedict Cumberbatch. His name. Thanks, Karina. That's good. But, well, yeah, so I got to the hospital. And they, like, leave me, and I'm sitting in a chair. And I'm like, oh, my God. Chairs, man. And they put a thermometer on me. Which is, like, makes sense. This is not, none of this is, like. Right. This is just the moment-to-moment, like, you need all of the information to understand. And I was, like, 99.9, which is, like, just a little bit above average. But, honestly, if you're, like, one degree over, it, like, will mean a lot. I don't know. That's, like, no, no, no, your. Body sensors. There's, like, denaturing with all your proteins and stuff like that. Yeah. Like, you were so close to literally every single one of your proteins freaking the. Yeah. Out. I was literally just. It's so hard now. I just. I don't know how you did it, Karina. I was feeling bad. So they took my vitals. And they did the little thermometer thing. And then they sent me to a bed. And so I was, like, on the phone with my mom. And I was, like, mom, I'm feeling so bad. And, like, I'm 19. And I still don't understand. I didn't bring my medical. I didn't bring, like, the only identification I had is my school ID. And I, like, didn't know the name of certain things. And so I'm lying in bed talking to my mother. And this guy pulls up. This guy. He was so insane to talk to. I thought he was a hallucination. Legitimately. Because he. Okay. So he goes to me. And, like, he's trying to get my information. So I think he might be, like, a nurse. Because he was just getting my information. And he goes to me. And he would make comments if something in the information I gave him was, like, not off. Like, not the usual. Right. So I went to him. And I was, like, because he was asking me for my phone number. I was, like, I'll give you my mom's. And he was, like, okay. And I was, like, yeah, because I don't have a phone plan. And he went, sure. What? Wait, no. Because that is not the insanity there. He went, sure. If anyone ever, and this is to everyone listening, if you ever come up to me or Karina and say, sure, I will punch you in the face. I will. And that's just the basis. I'll probably just look at you and punch him. No, I will punch you. I'm volatile. But, no, he went, sure. And he had, like, his brows, like, furrowed. He was, like, he couldn't believe it. And he was, like, because I told him, I was, like, yeah, I just can't afford it. He was, like, just give me my money. These rich white people. No, he wasn't white. He wasn't white. Wow. Never mind. Retract statement. And then what else? We had, he asked me, do you have, like, a driver's license or a lawyer's permit? I don't have a driver's license. And this might be, like, a gap of knowledge, I guess. But I wasn't entirely sure what a learner's permit was. I knew it was probably in the same vein of a driver's license. I wasn't sure. And I was also sick. Right. What's a learner's permit? He was, like, a learner's permit? Like, your driver's license? And I was, like, no, dude, I don't have it. And he looked at me as if I was, like, a coma patient. Because how dare I not know what a learner's permit is. He just found out that you didn't know. Guys, Gianna Marini, just welcome to the studio. Everyone, pause everything. Get out of our podcast. Hey, tell them what you said. As you'll find out later, yes, it is. Anyways, we're talking. He looked at you like you were a coma patient because you didn't know. But also, he just found out you didn't, like, what? Why is he so? And this is the big one. I don't remember what it was that I had said beforehand. But I said I didn't have something. And he went, womp, womp. And he said it so quick that I was, like, I hate to do another David reference. But he said it so quick that I was, like, I thought he was going to take off a mask and it was going to be David. Did you seriously think you were dreaming? Yeah, because I've never heard a medical professional go womp, womp. I was, like, this isn't real. This isn't real. Is he just shaking? Yeah, I couldn't find, like, my Medicaid information. It was, like, a whole thing. And he was, like, you know what, I'm just going to come back to you later. This dude, he hasn't been, like, a Gen Z, like, jet-pied or something. Because bro is not, like, scared to say. He was the sassiest nerf, I guess, I've, like, ever met. I've met some sassy people. I'm a theater performance major. But I, like, I was so thrown for a loop that I forgot I was sick for a second. She was scared. I, for a brief second, I was, like, send me out. Send me out. I'm okay. But no, but then the doctor showed up after this insane people situation. The doctor showed up and she was, like, talking to me. She was, like, hey, like, you just have a viral respiratory infection. But it's just a really bad one. And I was, like, yeah, but I'm doing these things. Like, I'm fainting and waking up. And she was, like, it's probably not fainting. You're probably just so exhausted that you're falling asleep and waking up again. Or that your body is forcing you to get any semblance of sleep. Which, at the time, like, I was, like, why would I be waking back up again? But it was probably because my body wasn't regulated at all. Yeah. And this is why it's important to have a sleep schedule. Yeah. This is why it's important. At this point, the only crazy situation was that I met the nurse guy that was, like, out of a Grey's Anatomy episode. Real. But then I had to be discharged. Because, okay, before that, they spoke to me about the Ibuprofen thing. They were, like, no, you only start internally bleeding if you're, like, old. Or if you have a kidney situation. That's the thing that I found with most things. Because usually if they say that, it's because they don't want, like, old people to, like, do it and then, like, die from it. Because younger people can handle more strain and stress on their bodies. They told me that and I was, like, what? What? Because every website says something like, yeah, don't take Ibuprofen if you're going to start, like, bleeding out. Well, yeah. You're going to burst like a bubble. I think that's just because every single website thinks that the only people accessing their, like, medical information are the old people who can't make it to, like, a doctor. That's real. I'm one of those old people. Hey, a lot of us are. It's just that websites forget that. And when she told me that, because she told me that she gave me an Ibuprofen. And I was, like, I could have felt better at any point today, but I decided to be responsible. Hey, be so glad she gave you the Ibuprofen. Yeah, I'm going to be honest with you. Did more for you than what the doctors did for Ash when I had to take Ash. And that's a separate story. And so that's all up to par. Like, none of that. That's all up to par. That was a bogey. Right. Then I had to get discharged. Then I had to get discharged. So I'm in my slippers. You're in your slippers. I am in my pajamas. You're in your pajamas. I was rushed. I had no money on me. You had zero dollars on you. And I'm, like, okay, how do I get home? And your phone was dying. My phone was dying. It was, like, 10%. I need you to remember that. And this woman goes, like, oh, you can take the 53 and then transfer and take the 52, and then you'll be right there at the corner. And she was, oh, my God. She was, like, you can show the, because, you know, like, on your wrists when they put the taxing on you. She was, like, you could show that to the bus driver and you won't have to pay. And all I could think of in my head is that if I showed a bus driver... They're going to think you need to be in a hospital. Yeah, they're going to think, like, you need to go back. Like, what are you talking about? You're too crazy to be out here. Go back. But I hadn't showered. It was, like, I was not fit to walk in the streets of Staten Island. And so she says, so she tells me, so she's, like, here, do you want to take a picture of my phone? And I was, like, you know what, sure, whatever. I still have that, obviously still have that picture. It could save your life one day. So she was, like, yeah, take two different buses and then, I don't know, do you die on the way? Die. And I'm, like, oh, okay, okay. So I call my mom. I go outside and it's freezing cold and I don't have, I don't have a jacket. So I'm sick and I don't have a jacket and it's freezing cold. I call my mom, I'm, like, mom, they want me to take two different buses and, like, just wander back. And she went, absolutely not. I'm going to call Wagner. Like, you stay there and, like, you wait at the front. I was, like, okay. I didn't know this place had a waiting room. In hindsight, every hospital has a waiting room. I might have been a moron in this moment, but at the time. Well, you were also just told that you have, like, a respiratory infection and then you were told go wander the streets. Your mind was elsewhere, let's be so for real. I, I was, like, waiting room? That's not a real thing. Right. I was sitting, I sat in between the two doors. So there are two doors. Sat out of the emergency hospital. There are two doors to get inside. And this is outside? And, no, I sat in the middle. You sat inside. In the middle and the inside. Got it. So I was in the hospital that I was at. And I was sitting there huddled, crunched in a corner because I was, like, I don't know. You looked like a homeless person, probably. I was, like, I don't know where else to go, but also people are wheeling stretchers inside. And so I'm seeing people wheeling stretchers and they bring this one guy in handcuffs and he's, like, wandering around or, like, like, like, tripping around. Like, you know what I mean. He's coming under the influence of something. And they bring him in and I was, like, I'm, I'm just dying here. I don't know what's happening. Oh, no. And they bring him and, like, I'm, I'm, like, don't look at him. Don't look at him. Don't look at him. Did you look at him? I looked at him a little bit. I'll be honest. Like, he's a goddamn, like, enderman. If I look at him, he'll start attacking me. But I was. But that's, like, a real fear. Like, what do you, what do you do in that situation? And they put him down on a chair because he was, he was handcuffed. I was, like, I don't know what he could have done. And it's a hospital. And he's handcuffed and I'm crouching in this little corner. I'm, like, maybe I'm not supposed to be here. Maybe this is the wrong place. Because they're bringing in stretchers. Like, this is where they bring in people into the hospital. But I asked this woman. And I don't remember if she was in a hospital outfit or a police outfit. They look similar. It wasn't one of the doctors. It was, like, somebody that brings people in. And I go, like, hey, like, am I, is it okay if I stay here? Like, am I okay to stay here? And she was, like, she was very sweet. She was, like, yeah, no, it's okay. Like, I've never seen anyone that stays here, like, waits here. But, like, I'm sure it's fine. So I was, like, okay. I got approved. So I'm sitting there. You did get approved. And I'm playing Kate Shorter. Which, I, I love Kate Shorter. I've been playing it so much. It's so bad. Because one of those, like, games that you have, like, the commercials on it. Yeah. Yeah. It's so long. Have you seen that commercial with Pedro Pascal in, like, the Merge Mansion thing? Absolutely. What? Sorry. Merge Mansion and their whole cinematic universe. Yeah. It's insane. Anyways. You're playing Kate Shorter. Yes. And I'm on the, across from the floor. And this doctor, she comes in. She's, like, like, she wasn't mean, but she was kind of brisk. And at the time, I was, like, I can't handle this right now. Right. She was, like, you can't sit here. Like, this is where things come in. Like, you gotta go to the waiting room. And I was, like, okay, I'm so sorry. I asked them when they said they could stay here. And she was, like, no, no, no. I was, like, it's okay. It didn't sound like it was okay. But she said that. And she was, like, it's okay. Just go to the waiting room. So I'm in the waiting room. And I go to this guy. And this is all before, like, the first inklings of a car is even in your. Oh, yeah. Wow. As far as I'm aware, there is no car. Right. So I go up to this guy. He's this old man at the desk. And I ask him, like, hey, like, is there any car coming for me? Is there anything coming for me? My name is Karina Perez. And he looks at me. And do you know the sloth? The sloth from Zootopia? Yeah. There's a Zootopia, too. I have not watched it. They have children. They have children, Karina. I have. They be prostitutes or they be others? Who knows? That's the question. That's weird. I didn't mean to take you off of this story. No, you're fine. It's just so important to me that you knew. I was disturbed for a second. Mm-hmm. But she was disturbed. This old man, I asked him, like, hey, like, this and that, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he looks at me. He looks at me. And he looks at me. And he looks at me. And he looks at me. And he looks at me. And I look at him. Legitimately, though. And I was thinking, like, did I piss this guy off? All I'm doing is asking. And after what felt like 10 years of a beat, it was probably 10 seconds, but it felt like a long time. He goes to me and he goes, no. 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