Episode 24

Cassie and Mariah discuss their personal updates on the podcast. Mariah is excited about her website update and new jewelry creations. She plans to make flower holders instead of airplane holders. She also mentions upcoming events. Cassie talks about her desire to get her ears pierced and wear Mariah's earrings. They also discuss teenagers running businesses and Cassie's job search. Cassie shares her doctor's appointment and the decision to increase her medication dosage. She also mentions being diagnosed with hypothyroidism and starting medication for it. They talk about the side effects and the need for regular blood work. Cassie expresses her frustration with having another health issue to deal with. Mariah shares her experience with hypothyroidism and wonders if her medication helped. Hi, I'm Cassie and I'm Mariah and this is the Cassie and Mariah show a podcast where two long-distance internet friends That's us discuss navigating their 20s through disability and chronic illness Mariah, what's good? What's good so many things? I Am working on a website update right now, and I'm feeling so girl boss because of it I really like you know being able to make jewelry and Make a whole bunch of new things and creative things that like by the time you listen to this You know the website they will be out, so please check out Mariah's crystal studio calm use code TCMS for a discount I can't remember how much the discount was but yeah, I shot my website um I Have been making a lot of new pairs of earrings I've been making some new Bookmarks, and I'm getting rid of these I was making like airplane holders, and I'm actually stopping and I'm gonna make like flower holders instead like dried dried flower holders and They're coming out really pretty so far I've worked on a couple But I'm kind of like still figuring out how I want them to like look and how many flowers I? Want them to hold and things like that so that's like my little surprise thing that I'm working on and then I? Have some new bracelets that I'm posting and then like I'm doing a vendor event on the 10th So I'm like oh, I feel so girl boss right now like you are done it's I it's been so fun to watch because I know for the past several months and or longer you've been like Wanting to work on most that stuff and just haven't had that energy And I mean we were working a creative job And so it's like now that creative energy is being saved for yourself, and that is Probably helpful and also God every time you post a picture of earrings. I'm like yes. This is the year I will stab holes in my ears Just because I want to wear your earrings So that's not a plug for her website update. I don't know what it is Do my comes visit we got a piece is in your bedroom like parent trap style yeah? God That'd be kind of epic you should actually have you should get your ears pierced when I kind of go To see you so I can get like second holes in my ears. You both feel like there's yeah, but I feel like I want to do it even before then because Then I can't because it's like you have to I don't remember how long you it's like quite a while I feel like you have to have the ones that you got pierced with in your ears They have to heal for a couple. I think like two months. Yeah, so it's like I Feel like I don't know maybe I'll do it after the legislative session What's your next session at your PCP? They could do it there What? When's your next like appointment with your primary care doctor? I'm sorry my primary care doctor can pierce my ears I mean like pediatricians pierce ears. Oh, what the hell. I did not know that no I feel like I'll go to like a Professional piercing place. It's great like a tattoo shop. This is like yeah instead of like the Claire's of the world No Claire's you're gonna get pierced by like a 16 year old who is gonna make a tick-tock I went to the Froyo shop the other day, and it was fully being run by teenagers and mind you This is the same Froyo shop that we well first we noticed They're not giving out sample cups anymore That's kind of weird, and then we noticed a lot of signs saying please don't touch this in this way, please be careful what you touch and I was like I bet they got health code violated And then when we were there on Thursday I saw the sign there was like a sign by where you grab your cup That said sorry we don't do sample cups anymore per instructions from a health inspector and I was like I Knew it. I knew it, but hey. I've never gotten sick from there, so You know let the teenagers run the damn place who cares my Froyo was phenomenal Wait, I wonder how that even works though because like ice cream places around here give out like samples like spoons My guess is there was like Just like cross content. There was probably just gross. They probably weren't I think they had multiple violation issues happening That's nuts But I mean there were fully teenagers running that place because when we walked in they were sitting in a booth on their computers Like I don't know if they were doing homework, or what was happening like on the clock Yeah, oh, yeah, absolutely Iconic I mean my high school best friend used to basically run one of those place. I mean it's wild It's wild Yeah, no teenagers doing Teenagers do be running a lot of shit in this world. They run this city Anyway, but yes, I would like to get holes tapped in my ears so I can wear your earrings Please yeah, oh my god because I'd love to make you shit like I just love making people stuff like and I just want to I think it's just also fun like like you said about like being able to save my creative energy for myself Because there's so many cool things that I'll make and I'm like awesome like I'm glad that this is for me I'm not like you know other people like what I make and when I get compliments. I'm like oh like That's me bitch like that's me that's getting those compliments because it's something that I created. I want to um I want to get them pierced in time where I can wear earrings you make for graduation Yeah That'd be cute. I love that make matching ones with my cap and gown I would too. I totally would. I think you would like the clip pairs that I make like the huggy hoops Because they don't I like the ones that are just straight up a rock hanging on there. Yeah, I'm into it I'm like simple effective. I want a rock. Thanks They're like fun to play with because it's like I get the sensory like Sensory but it's with my earrings, and then I rip it out of my yeah, or like you break this down in half. Oh God I've also been like I've been applying to jobs and stuff still And I'm romanticizing one of them so hard like being a bank teller so bad I want to be a bank teller so oh My god, I like I'm really hoping that I get this job because my application is under review And I did see that they're no longer taking other applications for the job So I was like okay like a step in the right direction Like I will kind of have to keep checking the portal if I don't hear anything Because they said like you know they'll update the portal and then also like reach out to you You know if you're chosen for like the next step, but oh my god, I like I'm sitting here like On my hands and knees praying That I get this part-time bank teller job I'm sorry all I could think was money When he opens his arms and holds he closed That wasn't this by One Direction. Yeah, it sounds just like a One Direction song. I'm not surprised yeah Oh, man up on my ear How was your week Cassie? Um it was like fine-ish. I guess I don't know my brain was Not doing well most of the week which was annoying and inconvenient because it's hard to do Homework when your brains not working Which is annoying And I did have my follow-up doctor's appointment that had gotten rescheduled from the ice storm and You know we decided to up my Lexapro to the full max 20 Milligram dosage which I just took my first of today, and I'm realizing I haven't had side effects Today like I haven't like had my usual crash But I did go out to lunch with a friend and now we're doing this so I don't think I've had time to Crash we're saying you were saying before you're tired Yeah, but I think it was the post meal sleepies True there is a difference. I had a very nice lunch, and I'm like Got my tummy full take a nap And also the Sun was out earlier, and I never see that anymore, so I feel like I feel like the Sun makes me sleepy But while I was at the doctor whenever I am there like we kind of just throw in my usual PCP stuff while I'm at it to just stay on top of stuff because no reason to make a separate appointment and so She was like oh you're due for blood work, and so She's been checking me for hypothyroidism because it's genetic my mom has it and so And so she said that like I went over the threshold and so she started me on meds for that it could also be why I am so fatigued and The cause of my depression and could be all sorts of stuff But it'll take four to six weeks for those meds to like make a noticeable difference So I don't have another appointment till mid-march Unless I need to unless I need to schedule sooner if my Lexapro doesn't start working And it's like things don't start getting better So we'll just kind of see I mean, I just I really don't know You know But I don't know I Don't know. I'm just like okay cool another health thing another Cool about a pill. I'll have to take till the end of my day is thrilled to be on the chronic illness journey You know it's actually funny like I actually was diagnosed with hypothyroidism a few years ago And I don't like have any of the issues with it anymore, and I'm gonna take meds for it. Oh like I Why can't I dealt with a lot of that stuff um? Well, I wonder if it has to do with Trikafta Maybe that like balance it out in some way because I was on like I was routinely getting tested for hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism and I was on hypo meds for a while and I know that stuff that can make you tired as well. I believe a lot of those medications. He kind of caused like fatigue side-effects but Yeah, I don't take that stuff anymore. I don't remember exactly what I was on, but I'm sure I can like look back and see I mean, I have a lot of health issues like that Levothyroxine is the most common Okay, doesn't sound familiar The annoying thing about it though is you have to take it like before you take anything else before you eat breakfast before anything Right like it the way like a couple out like a an hour before you eat or something. Oh, it's like half hour It's basically just like yeah, make sure it's like Has time to get in your system kind of thing so I just basically When I get out of bed and put my phone over on my desk I just have it sitting by my water glass so I can just take it and then I figure pretty much by the time I'm done getting ready and even like Make food and sit down to eat it that it's been enough time at that point Yeah, no I get the same way because I have a medication in the morning that I have to take a half hour before And half hour before I eat anything and I take it and I'll do my treatments and like, you know That's what I'm ready for breakfast. And then Yesterday I had to go to the DEQ to do and This is something I've never thought about until I wanted to talk about it on the podcast I don't know if this is something every state has or not But when we go to renew our tags, which does every city even have tags on I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh my god Okay. So basically we have to renew our tags every two years, which is like our vehicle registration Do you have to renew your registration? Yeah How did I just I just did something recently but the it's not like physical tags that it's not like stickers I've oh, is it the sticker? No, it's not a car inspection. Yeah, is it inspection? Yeah. Oh, yeah Then it's the tag on the front on like your license plate No, oh, where do you put yours on the windshield? Oh, well ours go on the license plates on the front back. Yeah Okay, so but you guys do like you go and but you're the Motor Vehicle Commission like you go to DMV Well, we go to the DEQ which is Department of Environmental Quality Test Center, and they do it all there. Oh No, so is yours just Literally just the DMV You go to the DMV that has like like the testing center like oh, okay area Like a garage essentially you pull into and they plug in the computer. Yeah. Oh, okay Yeah, so we just for some reason Yeah, we just have like a separate All of our like testing places are just like separate from the DMV the run through the Department of Environmental Quality But then they do all the stuff there but anyway the reason I wanted to share about this very mundane part of life is because I had just the most positive experience in terms of Accessibility because usually they have you get out of the car so that way you're not in the way of them trying to plug in the computer and stuff and I'm like to pay and stuff like that and and The guy was like if it's all right with you Like if you want to just turn a little bit like your body in your seat a little bit I can just reach in and you don't have to get out and then he would you know run my card back and forth and my Papers back and forth as he was doing stuff and just you know, and then he even put my tags on for me Oh, I thought was so nice and helpful because usually they just say here you go. Bye And so I was like, yeah, we're usually and so usually when I get home, I just like have my dad put them on or something And so I was like, wow, that's literally so nice. Like I know it's such like a simple thing, but it's like for me it's like You know getting my stool out getting out of the car getting my crutch out so I can stand there and wait and Then getting back in pulling my stool back it like all for them to like do this like five second test, right? Versus the fact that I was just able to turn in my seat and he was able to reach in and just do it and It was like I literally like found where I could send in like a comment to the TV To inspector program and be like, I think Charles is fantastic and the best Because like I don't know it was just and he was so like Positive and uplifting and nice and it was a Saturday morning, you know, it was like it was not I don't know It was just and thank God they're open for a part of the day on Saturday. It's like Otherwise these places are all open like eight to five nine five and I'm like people work No, yeah, I mean The same thing with us like the DMV one is open on the weekends, too. I think only on Saturdays But I'm also just hung up on the fact that you have to pay What do you mean, yeah, you have to pay to get your vehicle inspected, yeah, how much is it? the inspection or the renewal registrar well the inspection itself like $25 and The registration was 190 something Wow, we don't have to pay to get our vehicles inspected it's completely free in New Jersey But the registration There's something I paid for my car recently that was 40 bucks It wasn't my car insurance or anything, but I think that was my renewal registration. I had to fill it out online My my car is like My car is like the first car I've had in my name Where like the other cars I've driven the past have been my mom's name So like I know she did a lot of this stuff something like I'm familiar with it, but that's interesting But I love the fact I was in ISO. Yeah. Yeah, I'm so oh my god now I'm like, hmm. I want to look up how transportation is funded in New Jersey I Just look I'm like I'm like, well, I I got to me. I'm like, I don't really mind payment less than $200 I'm like cool. That'll fill about two potholes one a year happy to Be of service here, you know, I mean we pay a lot I don't know in other ways. Don't you have sales tax? Yes. Yeah, I say we don't have sales tax Yeah, so when you come here you need to buy Everything. I don't know. Yeah, right and just ship shit home in the mail. Yeah, so this way I'm not paying for sales tax I'll just pay more shipping. I'll just bring in an extra empty suitcase check a bag on your way I mean, why not? You know, like I could didn't buy toothpaste But I'll buy a check that I'll buy a bag out here If you like this show be sure to follow and rate it on whatever platform you're streaming on to help us reach more people You can also send us questions or stories you'd like for us to discuss on a future episode DM us on instagram at TCMS pod or email us at TCMS pod at gmail.com Thanks it's like the PBS Brought to you by viewers like you Kathy and Raya show Well, I'm excited for today's episode because this is something I've Wanted to like talk about in some one medium or another for a while like it's an idea I came up with back when I was on my tick-tock bullshit, which Remember did I just sorry, I'm just having flashbacks. I think I did I delete my I Might have deleted my tick-tock account or maybe I think I deactivated it. Oh, really? Yeah, I randomly did it the other day Cuz I was like, I was like, I hate being perceived Especially on an account using so I just like deactivated it But I think it's one of the ones where it's like it still exists But like other people can't find it so like I could reactivate it at any time Oh, yeah, if I wanted to as opposed to permanently deleting it, but I don't know I just was like, I don't I don't use this anymore I just I think The fact that if you were to look me up the first things are from like kind of a long time ago Like I don't like that, you know, yeah, I'm a different person now. Yeah, damn, right. Like don't perceive Disgusting But when I was regularly making content on tik-tok a lot of it was about disability or accessibility or just I don't know you're supposed To like, you know, I don't know if you make like series people like watching your like similar videos talking about different things I don't know. And so one of my ideas was like talking about things that I would do in another lifetime Or like in another body kind of thing And so that's that's what we've got on the docket for today, yeah gonna talk about what we would do in another lifetime if we were still ourselves and just could have any route in life to take or if we had Another body or any type of you know different circumstances than we do right now Yes Cassie what would you do if you had a different body? I Think and this is probably I wonder how common this is for disabled people But I'm just like everything is like so movement related it like the idea of running just sounds so Freeing even though most able-bodied people I know are like, you know running gross I'm like, I'm like, I just want to fucking prance through feel right and it's funny because it's also like oh, yeah you think it's running running hard for you because like You can do it man. Like we can't Yeah, like that's why you hate running. I don't know. It's like cuz you can even give it a shot true And then it's literally just like other Like I literally think in another lifetime Instead of like being into like music and stuff so much I think I would literally be heavily into sports and like want to be like a professional athlete because I feel like I'd like to believe I would still have my same level of drive to do things and right but if I had Enabled body. I feel like I would apply that to like Just going so hard on sports Like I'd love to like skate all kinds roller ice board all of them board skate Dude also like transparency. I just came back to the gym like two hours ago and I took a shower. I'm in sleepy mode I did a protein bar So my brain is moving a little bit slower pace than usual right now board skate Board skate Board skate. Um, I don't know. I see those like videos of like little kids learning to skate at the skate park. I'm like Fine, right? What do you mean? Huge one, I would absolutely want to be a gymnast Oh, yeah, a hundred percent because what the hell is more able-bodied than a floor? Patient right? Yeah, Cassandra Wilson on the floor doing a back handspring To what was my oh my god, what would my floor song be? Something One Direction right right as it was her style. Oh, that'd be fun. Very like interpretive dance Um And that's one where it's like are you and that the kind of nice thing about gymnastics is you age out About the time you're so I could go to school for a totally different career I could be a professional gymnast then go to college and have my collegiate gymnastics career and then have a completely unrelated I Could just do whatever I want like I could go to school for whatever and yeah I'm that I'm gonna age out of gymnastics because my body will be and then Do whatever with the rest of my life and that that seems kind of nice Right, they kind of like get it out of your system exactly Because whereas like if I were a soccer player, I don't know they They're able to play for quite a long time Although it's kind of then it's like almost an awkward time in life to Move on to doing something else so I feel like you'd be more likely to coach or Yeah Even people that like play football and then like retired a lot of them become like media Personalities or they do the same thing like they'll coach they'll you know Start a nonprofit or start just some other thing to do Because of that reason of like yeah, like, you know, you can only be an athlete for so long and you retire by like almost 35 But then it's like To some degree an awkward age to start a totally different career, right? I'm like unless you're like a household name or something. You're not gonna You know, like you gotta figure out what would work next. Yeah, and then especially I'm thinking about this a lot because it's winter right now I Would love to like snowboard or ski or like some sort of winter sport sounds fun Just I don't know it's kind of like it's like It's like I don't know I'm thinking about how fun sledding is and how fun slides are and how when it was icy out I just wanted to lay down and Forever and I feel like snowboarding or skiing and kind of is somewhat that Yeah, no I've never I've tried skiing once and I didn't like it because I have this like perpetual fear of like falling and breaking my arm or something So I get like nervous but like but those are sports like they're so injury Like you're so like you're like highly sophisticated except how these You have a good chance of getting injured. I can't remember the word susceptible. Yeah, I can't say stuff sometimes they get stuck. That's okay But yeah, no exactly I and but I feel like if you're a body dude have the confidence and invincibility As an early person you wouldn't have so much medical trauma like I do Exactly. We wouldn't be like if we get injured That could worsen our disability fact no like oh And able-bodied people aren't afraid of being disabled because they simply just don't think they ever will be Learning that someday you're gonna be disabled too. So sorry to break it to you And then I think kind of the last name like movement thing but falls outside of like sports Would be like hiking living in the Pacific Northwest. I oh my god I just and also being somebody who loves nature. I and I continually say I would like to go rot in the forest No, I mean it's that type of exercise like that. Oh, it's so like it's such a you know Like for people that can hike like that. It's such a privilege Like as someone that also really can't do like much like intense like You know, it's such a it's such a it's such a it's such a it's such a it's such a it's such a it's such a It's such a it's such a privilege That also really can't do like much like intense like Movements or like workouts like that yeah, I see people that like post like them like fucking like The Delaware water gap is like place in New Jersey Pennsylvania where people like to do a lot of hiking and see waterfalls and stuff and like that shit's crazy I would totally reach a certain altitude and die. Yeah so Like what a privilege it is to be able to have a you know, go on a hike Take a hike man. You know, thank you. Tell that you say that but like literally Yeah, and I just think to especially sports stuff aside, I think like Running and hiking to me would be really great mental health actor or even just going on a walk Not a stroll but a walk like being able to do casual exercise Because to me walking even if it's across the house kind of is exercise it gets my heart rate up it's not just like It's like no, I'll beat start to be out of breath. Like that's just the reality of being disabled But the idea that you go, oh, I can't believe I didn't write this down. I'd love to fucking ride a bike just ride a bike I would love to ride a bike. Oh my god Anyway, I know there are accessible bikes and I've ridden one but to ride a traditional to a mountain bike Chao That really That biker energy in you. I just Think between running and biking. I'm just like no. I just want to make my body go fast on my own. Yes Yeah, no, it's like the freedom It's like being a wild horse, you know Like being able to just run and like run freely and like you said the mental health benefits of that type of stuff Slap like, you know being able to go for a run in that like having a feeling that like clears your head Like that must be so satisfying to like feel cleansed in that way Exactly Or as Maggie Rogers once said I see horses running wild. I wish I could feel like that for just a minute She was Horses by Maggie Rogers claps. Oh my god Her last album was severely underrated Could not agree more. I think people Ignored it because they thought she was in her pretentious girl era because she was like Cuz she got a master's program and cut her hair True, and they just actually hate women. Oh We didn't say that They just hate like when like I know cuz like In a past life heard it in the past I heard in a past life What's this like a phenomenal like? album out the gate that like I think a lot of people were like they heard one song off of Her most recent one and they were like, oh, nope, like as if they were like rejected it immediately I feel like that was a lot of the like public's opinion at first which like I don't actually listen to it I was like, dude, this rocks. Let's go Maggie Rogers It's still a phenomenal album and god forbid a girl to get fucking education Her new stuff is gonna be so good cuz she played a couple of songs live this summer from it And oh my god, it was it's so good. And the first single she's releasing for it. I don't know when it's coming out I think like next week Or maybe later this week. I have no concept of time anymore February sometime. I'm pretty sure is Called like don't forget me and oh my fuck she played that live and I Love that. She had she had like lyric videos play behind her on stage during those and so you could like which was nice because I kind of hate when bands play songs that are not recorded or Not released yet live cuz you think I can hear or understand a thing. You're saying no So it was nice to be able to like see the lyrics and it was such a beautiful song And I think she totally made the right move making that her first single, which I don't even know how I got Oh horses running on. I was like Which you're a horse girl, so you get it Like you're a horse girl Why didn't I feel like we thought about this but I could have wrote that down on my my thing But a horse girl, yeah So, I think it's funny that when I was younger My parents decorated my room in cat stuff and horse stuff and got me neither because I Always had these little like hat posters in my room. I've had little horse pictures and shit like that I remember like going to my one Ent and there's a horse farm near there and we would drive past and be like, oh, there's the horses There's Merriweather like there's this one like I remember their names And I pet them once I don't think I've they wrote a horse once at somebody's birthday party when I was a kid And that was it. I don't think I've ever I've never did like horse lessons, but I Imagine riding a horse is fun. I think horse girls get a bad rap. I think horse girls, you know They're just like like oh you wouldn't make fun of somebody for liking a dog But you like you make fun of someone for liking a horse. It is true Like it's just an animal that people like it's a horse girl lore come from I feel like it comes from elementary school because there was always one horse girl Yes Well, I guess like it for us. It was hard because there's not a lot of like horse Stuff around here as funny as funny enough. I do live near a town called Colts Neck. So that's funny Because there's horse farms there but I Think I don't really know where the horse stuff came from I think it's just because of being a girl or like yeah, your brother gets spider-man for Christmas. You get a horse doll Like Barbie always had a horse. So like I had a Barbie's horse I had a little stable of miniature horses with my name on it. I said Mariah's farm or something However, I was obsessed with those horses. I didn't have favorites horse lore with Mariah a new segment Oh, I used to tweet horse facts all the time, too I think that was before you followed me on Twitter If you look up if you looked up my username a horse fact you would find some horse facts. Oh Were they real? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't lie on the internet First dude, trust me Mm-hmm What are some what are some other things that You'd want to do so I feel like for me where you talked about movement for me. I would Say like my parallel to that would be physical safety because like, you know, I know you've mentioned like Doing like stuff like skating gymnastics Like soccer those are actually things that I did when I was younger Like I was in gymnastics when I was younger having CF and always like me being to stay active and stuff My parents always had me in some like rec sports. Like I did soccer when I was younger I did gymnastics and then I did cheerleading from there So for but for me though, like physical safety, I would I've always wanted to be a teacher Like I always thought that I would be a great like English teacher or like kind of like a early like I guess maybe more of like a late elementary school teacher, I think that I would like prefer to be Or even be like a nurse like I've always thought because like of being around medical stuff and like liking weird shit Sometimes I think that I would like to be a nurse But knowing that those are both two careers that would put me in like a Harder place with like being around sick people and especially being around sick children And it kind of was something that really came apparent to me like during the pandemic about how some people like Really had a hard time with like having their kids wear masks to school So I'm like, you know, God forbid like if I was ever in a position where I was a teacher and then it's like You know would my like student's parents be like, you know, I don't want you to wear a mask You know would my like students parents like respect the fact that I would still want them to wear a mask or like would they Give me a hard time about that And like same thing would be a nurse for like I think that would that would just be putting me in like harm's way Like way too often And I know there's different sectors of the hospital like you could be an ICU nurse. You could be a trauma nurse You're not actually seeing sick people, but it's just more over the fact of being in a hospital and working in a hospital And like, you know having a chance at being sick. And there's other like things that you could get That are not necessarily just somebody having a cold like from just like interacting with bodily fluids and stuff Exactly. Yeah, exactly So like that kind of puts me like those are both two careers that I'm like, oh man like I think I would thrive in but it would be hard for me to actually like, you know, Be able to care for myself in the way that I currently am And I think even just like physical safety as well like being able to run a marathon like I know we did talk about running and I would love to run free like a wild horse And also just like a marathon like something that's like 26 miles like at one go, you know Like being able to like like surmount like an accomplishment like that would be awesome But I actually think I'd have a heart attack and die Like I think like obviously even with training I think that it would be very difficult for me to do something like that. Like my lungs physically cannot withstand that much like force at once Or even just like working out in general and like being able to see the results that like able-bodied people feel because like this is something I've noticed more recently because I've been going to the gym about like three times a week and I will almost like intentionally like, you know in order to like Lose Fat and gain muscle you kind of have to be like in a calorie deficit So like let's say these are hypothetical numbers. I don't know anything if you eat 2,000 calories a day and You burn off X amount of calories a day. You need to almost like Burn off a certain amount of calories and not like eat them back Um, and that's like every day with working out so I realized that for me though I can burn off 700 calories at the gym, whatever I come home and it's like I can't put myself in a calorie deficit because my body is fucking starving Like I you just saw I ate just so much snacks right here fucking sitting here Let me have this episode like my body actually cannot physically withstand me being in a calorie deficit because it is like holy shit I'm like lacking nutrition like exponentially So I realized I'm like, oh like, you know Being able to like see the results that able-bodied people feel like being able to like and not even saying like dieting But being able to just like have the chance to do stuff like that Like, you know those girls that do like fucking all clean vegan diets like people that do like no processed foods you know like extra sugars like and I know a lot of that even too is like A diet that most people can't do because it's a very expensive diet But also like for the fact that like I would not be gay getting my nutritional needs met Period like if that was a diet that I was doing even with vitamins and stuff like that like I'd love to be vegan like I'd love nothing more than to like, you know, have a clean diet and like Not ingest animal meat But I would like my iron levels which can hit the floor like fast like even like the amount of healthy fats I'd be gaining like, you know like I wouldn't reach that like there's a lot of stuff that like I wouldn't be able to do if I Like went completely vegan Cuz even like being like even vegetarian stuff is hard because like I think I just get so much nutritional content from stuff like meat and dairy and things that My body should be like anything. Oh, yeah, like even just from dairy. It's just more Concentrated you usually have to eat so much more of Vegetarian or vegan sources to get the same amount that you would from meat or dairy and it's like and that's exactly why like I mean, I think I think we're finally at least in an era where people like Like yes eat what you need to meet your needs. Yes, exactly. I like that Another one that I have written is being able to park in a far parking spot and walk into a store Unfazed like that's the dream Being able to park far and walk and not let that be such like a limiting factor when you go to like a store Um, which is funny enough that I'm still not getting a handicap like her They really said get fucked. I've been using it's currently January 28th So we're recording this and I have a couple more days before it's expired. So I am using it I'd be using that shit everywhere. I Went to lunch today and when I got back to the car there's like two sort of The two closest accessible spots there's two and then in between them is like the marked-off space And when I came back there was somebody parked in the marked-off space, of course No No, no, no placard. No placard No placard. No plate. No, nothing just parked there Okay, did you need them to move for you to get into your car? No, thankfully because I Well, and I'm surprised they even parked there because I always so like because I need the space on the driver's side To give me the space if they were to the right of me But I because of that I honestly a lot of times kind of park Over the lines onto the marked-off space when it's on the right side So that way if the person parked to my left is close to me or whatever I can still open my door all the way to be able to get in and so I was surprised that they even parked in the middle because they were parked pretty close to me because they Weren't supposed to be there. It's it's I see that so often and it's like I don't know Do you people really not understand that that is for ramps or for people trying to get into their cars and you're parking there? It's not a free space You're still and it doesn't matter. Oh, I'm just running in the store. I don't give a fuck. Don't park there You know like I get so It's the same people that like pull into a handicapped spot when they're on the phone, you know, and it's like, oh well I'm just like it's like no, I don't give a shit. I literally don't care like Park somewhere else. Don't park here. I guess I used to get so mad at my community college for people doing shit like that I would like Fucking honk at them. Yeah. No, it's Well, it's infuriating. Um, I Feel like yeah, I feel like in my community college we had that same issue with the drop-off area specifically an accessible spot in it and people would park in it and I think we actually Eventually the public safety office like put cones next to it or something like something that made it more clear You know, like do not block this but it's just I don't get why People don't pay attention Like I almost get it when somebody who does have a placard parks there. It's like God sometimes you're desperate but It it's almost never people with the placards who are the ones that parking on the line It's always somebody else that doesn't have the placard up or the decals on the license plate. Like it's always that And the last thing I have actually for my social safety is Living in the mountains I don't know what mountains just living in the mountains. We mean like at altitude Well, like living like isolated. Oh like living somewhere away from Like being able to like live in Alaska Like being able to live somewhere where like you're away from like society And just because I think that's like the less people the better And just because I think that's like the less people the better like I think that you know somewhere like serene and peaceful and You know where I can have my own The shining moment and go crazy, but I think that it just sounds like very peaceful being able to like live in secluded areas But you mean like you wouldn't have Are you thinking like access to health care? What well like that? Yeah, like physical safety would be like I need access to health care like living somewhere like Alaska We're like, you know, there's not good. I'm not going to be able to like get the medication that I need From the pharmacy down the street like I'd most certainly have to order everything or you know Even like when I had my port at the time, it's like a nurse has to come to my house Like, you know that I feel like there's a lot of like care that I wouldn't be able to get if I was living Like Further away from a you know Like a town like if I live like two hours outside the closest town Like that's gonna be possible to get most of the shit that I need Yeah, I I will say if any of my Alaska friends are listening And I'm just like I'm just like I'm trying to imagine how you're picturing a laughter right now I'm like, there's definitely like chronically ill and disabled people. Oh, of course. No, I mean like I don't like living In like total isolation of like you live like two hours. That's why the nearest town. Yeah, like that's what I mean I don't mean like living in like I know people in like the capital and inside like different places in Alaska like Have access to shit like medication and basic needs But it's just more to live in a cabin in the woods, I won't live in a cab in the woods Honestly, I didn't put that on my list, but I'd say that's a big one for me it because I Like I would love to live I've grown up in a rural area and I would love to live in a rural area But I even just the fact of yard work. I can't do it. I Would have to pay someone to do it I would have to always be driving like I like the jobs that I do or not out here like It just doesn't make sense for me And kind of similar ish Lee The last thing on my list for if I had another body is just how much easier it would be to travel It's not that I necessarily Can't or well, I mean I'd say it's just there's so many barriers in my way that it's not just like something I'm like, oh, I'm just gonna buy a plane ticket to this place and go that like I just like that's just not Yeah, no, like there's a lot. There's a lot more work that goes into it Like you can't just plan like a spontaneous like weekend getaway Like it has to be something that you have to you literally have to look up every ins and out before you even do it Which like yeah, and we talked about so much in our travel episode and I feel like that's one of our best episode most informative episodes if you haven't listened to that speaking of which I've been meaning to say all season if this is your first time listening to the Show and you're like who the hell are these people? I Even though it's not our best episode. I would recommend going back to our very first episode where we kind of Give our life stories through it's kind of the Wikipedia of our lives It's the it's a fun one. It's a It's a lore filled episode. Oh And then There's if we had another lifetime, but we're still us because okay, this is kind of where my original like most of like my you know if I have another lifetime like series idea like had come from because I Am somebody who has wanted to do and be so many things when I grow up and I still feel that way and I probably always will and so I'm just like I've kind of had to like change my mindset from I want to do all of these things to like It's too bad if I had another lifetime I could do these things The first one is one that I technically have done and so I could But like I mean it in a different way is work in the music industry Because I did a rich like I was on that path But like because I stopped I'm not doing that and like I mean like have a I guess for basically all of these things I mostly mean have a career in these things Yeah and so like have a like lifelong career like in the music industry and I also mean that more proper to because my experience was In the advocacy space of having to advocate to exist within the music industry and I mean it more so from like an actually like artist manager like marketing like you know that type of the way that I wanted to as a teenager or like run a venue kind of thing have a more have a like a more music industry like Designated job rather than like music, you know doing advocacy in the music industry Exactly Yeah, cuz I mean I kind of have the same vein of that for my like other lifetimes still me but disabled is working in audio production and Instead of that working You know in a music or television and living in New York City like as much as I would love to live in the mountains I Ideally would thought it didn't really cool to live in New York and like pursue music in New York like I know I want to go to NYU and Like do their fucking music production program and work for fucking Broadway like oh my god It'd be so good. Oh, it'd be so good. So good. It would hit so hard. Oh my god I love it make this makes me think of like In elementary school. Did you have that like student of the week thing? We're like you would fill out the all about me poster. I think so Yeah, we're like, what did you want to be when you grew up? And yeah This reminds me of that. Oh I similarly also Beyond just the music industry I think it would be cool to work in film or theater or comedy or entertainment the parts that are not not the music part because I think that There just needs to be so much more disability representation on all aspects of entertainment Whether it's like from the acting perspective or the writing perspective production Set I mean just everything Which I know that there are so many wonderful people who are making strides in those areas and that's also something that Gave me peace. I think when I was younger I Don't know when you grow up Constantly being the first disabled person to do things and I still am in that position Then it makes you feel like god I wish I had another lifetime so I can make strides in these other areas so I could see it But it's like I keep having to remind myself. There are people doing that work Even if I don't see them that necessarily Yeah, because they're in like the same level as you are where it's like not to be like publicly known You know outside of that industry that this person is making these changes. Yeah Exactly Yeah, cuz I mean I think about the same thing with like acting and having a music career or even just like comedy content creation like doing something in like the entertainment industry because then I Think in the same way where it's kind of like Oh being like the first person with like CF to have like a huge like career like that or being able to like advocate for you advocate for yourself and your Disability it's like a wider a wider platform. Yeah Because there's a couple like there's you know there's like people that have CF that are like influencer esque type of people, but I Know a lot of that's not their full-time career and they're also just like they just be posted in the way that I'm posting But they just have more followers than I do. So it's not like they're like profiting off of what they're posting But I think it would be really cool to be like, oh like being you know Like Winning like, you know, or even just like having any like accolades or you're like, oh I'm the first disabled person to do this from the first like I'm like, you know You're the trailblazer in that type of like industry and like I guess is it part of me also wants to like, you know further like disabled people or even like other people at CF chronic illnesses to just kind of show like You can do this. Yes You know, I think a big thing now that I'm realizing is that I know a couple people that have you know, I Know a couple parents that are caregivers for children that have CF And I think a lot of them like having a chronically ill child sure is nerve-wracking I can only imagine, you know being a new parent and being a new parent to a child that has an illness but it's also like dude like you guys are in such a better position than when I've been done what my parents were in and also like Your child's gonna be fine. Like they're gonna be okay. Yeah, it's hard and it's scary right now, but like your kids gonna be able to do everything that the other kids are doing because I also was able to do a lot of the things that my friends, you know, we're doing and it's almost like I kind of like I probably wanted to wants to be like that like beacon of light for other people to be like, yeah Like this is possible. It's like the actual disability inspiration instead of the bullshit inspiration We get labeled with and not to be like, oh my god, you're such an inspiration for Existing instead. It's like right like being actual. Yeah being inspiration for a reason For people who are actually inspired For similar circumstances, yeah. Yeah Something that kind of that reminds me of to is For like a similar reason of serving like other people with disabilities would be to work in the fashion industry Because as I've discussed before like I literally the shoes I'm wearing are the only shoes That I know of that fit my feet Because they've been discontinued. And so it's like literally like designing shoes that are accessible or Designing clothes that are I don't know more easily Adjustable in terms of length for people with dwarfism and just things like that Kind of like I don't know I think about how like Old Navy has like you can get things in petite Regular or tall what if you could get things in short? Right. Yeah, like yeah No, I think that's so I don't know like I think I have a lot of I don't know like I think I have like the same stuff like that in my head where I'm like I'll work in the fashion industry and like kind of like in the way that if you ever want gone on like the Aerie Website they have women that model their clothing that are like they have a few like disabled women and women that aren't like that like Society's idea of a model, you know and I thought like for me like oh, it'd be really cool to like be able to model and Like whether it's like bathing suits Underwear or what-have-you or like you can like see like the scars on my stomach or like see like the imperfections and like a Disabled person's body that are like, oh like no, those are pretty like they're they're cute. Like I love how that person looks Yeah, I mean, I didn't thought about that with your shoes, too I'm like damn how cool would it be if you could fucking make your own shoe company and not have it be a million dollars and it's just yeah, and it's such a bummer too because even the things that are successful like Billy's shoes or whatever like They still don't fit me because they had to be mainstream enough that normal people could wear them Right that they can get money from able-bodied people. Yeah, like literally fund Different like shoes that they sell. Yeah A couple other jobs that I would love which it's funny how much of this is jobs, but I It runs our lives. I Would also love to be a teacher but I there's not I mean there's definitely a lot of barriers stopping me But also plenty of other disabled people have done it. I mean like Judy human like, you know It's like literal like people who have been leaders and the disability rights movement Like I have all lots of them have been teachers lots of disabled people have been teachers So I know there's nothing stopping me except for another lifetime because I'm pursuing that I'd love to be an astronomer. I'd love that a Period nothing else say there And I'd love to be a meteorologist. I did used to go out in the snow and give the weather reports on the video Send it into the news and they play it It was good, it's good stuff And then these are less like These would be more like even in another lifetime. They'd Still probably be sort of pipe dreamy Although one of them's like illustration graphic design Which I guess is just kind of another career path because if you trained you would get better at it And there's plenty of jobs and just like graphic design and stuff But the other ones that are more like pipe dreamy Would be to like pursue music full-time Because even now like I don't even like I don't know. I think once I graduate maybe I'll be able to play more and Not feel like oh, but I'm supposed to be doing homework. I'm supposed to be doing this and it's like yeah Just actually be able to just enjoy playing And then I feel like throughout my life There have been several times that my friends and I come up with we should open our own Whatever and mine's like I'd love to I'd love to have like a bookstore Froyo shop combo or I think I've also talked about I don't know if I've talked about on the podcast But I'd love to have an air hockey cafe where it's like sliding scale pay what you want You know unlimited air hockey Bookstore Froyo shop air hockey rink Yeah, I think of a lot of stuff like that too like I'm like oh in another lifetime like having like an actual storefront for my business or having a Like I mean, I don't know I also think I'm like oh like in another lifetime like being an author But I'm not really that one out yet I cuz I could do that like and that's why like I feel like a lot of my things that I think about I'm like There's still that hope in me that this is gonna happen I mean Let's hope I have like plenty years left on this earth that shit like this can still happen just like you know people start new Careers when they're 50 sometimes yeah, you know like so you really can't rule anything out Yeah, no I think that like there I was also gonna put like being off it like on my list too But I was like no, I'm not counting that out like I don't know I just think there's like plenty of that stuff where you could like work on it on the side for years And then you know have it happen. Yeah, whatever. I mean like you know even the thing that was like music like You're gonna have hobbies when you're not working Like and they'll be like you said when you're not in school. It's gonna be a lot easier to do that stuff. Yeah, I Know I think about a lot of people who like you know somebody like Brittany Broski She was working at a bank, and then like a year later. She's a fucking Tic-tac-traitor in a Super Bowl commercial you know like yeah, that's just crazy Other stuff I had on my other lifetime Which I don't think I mentioned these where I would have loved to go to college out of state And like moved out of my parents house by now Sure, I would like like I'm not gonna like I don't I wouldn't feel comfortable like living independently somewhere because Like if I'm not feeling well like I still may need someone to like care give for me a tiny bit So I think it'd be like a Physical safety thing for me to also want to live with other people or at least another person Yeah, just for my own peace of mind The ending segment that we have the same one we wrote we've been doing the past couple of says pod Don't post Cassie what you got for your pod. Don't post today. I've got two ones funny and ones more serious With first one is that the sketchiest websites provide the greatest free technological services They're almost always a dotnet that looks like it was made 20 years ago 2006 yeah, yeah I'm recently for podcast purposes Needed to cut an audio file in half, and I was like I'm sure there's a website where I can do this real fast and mp3 mp3 cut net came through Because the thing is when you google search this stuff the first few options are like Ones where you think you can do it, but they're gonna make you pay and it like they always look really nice And that's because they make you pay eventually the ones that look like shit and like they will give you a virus your computer a virus Work just fine give you no issues. Don't give you a virus Like absolutely nothing. They're just trying to serve you So yeah, I'd like I am all the time like when I'm applying for jobs Like I use a PDF combiner to combine my cover letter and resume because Adobe doesn't let you do that shit for free I use I used to when I Would definitely not illegally download music I used to use the YouTube to MP3 converters, oh, I know exactly what you're talking about Yeah, and it's like these things always look sketchy and let me tell you they're not they are providing us a great service with their Outdated looking website, and I oh, you know it hasn't been updated since it first came out I mean except for it probably has to to be compatible with right, but aesthetically it hasn't changed. Yeah exactly so it's just Extremely impressive, and I thank them for their service I Guess how many do you have? You get to keep going okay? Sure, so my other one is check in on your friends I know that life gets hard and busy, and it's normal to go a while without talking to people especially in adult friendships But make sure you know how people are really doing because sometimes people need help getting help And it can be really easy to overlook what other people are going through Because we're all so busy with our own stuff. Yeah, but we also need to be there for each other so Just a reminder text that person you haven't heard from in a while Yeah, have this you know if you need to have hard conversations with somebody you know Do so and come from a place of love I like that All right, what's your pod don't post? My pod don't post is well speaking of speaking of mental health stuff 10 milligrams of Lester Perl makes my brain feel good, but I am worried that it's a fleeting feeling I Was like hardcore cleaning my desk and organizing the other day, and it felt amazing it felt delicious Going to Michael's to buy craft supplies brings me so much joy I've never felt that invigorated in my life my boyfriend's dad got me a Michael's gift card for Christmas, and I went hard Like getting a bunch of new stuff that I love and I need it and I feel so I feel so satisfied I bought a new notebook yesterday from this cute like Japanese stationery store in North Jersey And it's And It's primarily for my desk, and I'm gonna make sure this notebook never leaves my desk. It's just the desk notebook This is its enclosure is my desk I want to like I could I use sticky notes and post-its a lot So I'm like I want to use a notebook instead so this way if I like because otherwise I'm throwing out a sticky note and I'm like oh shit like what did that say you know like especially when I'm editing stuff for The podcast and I just make like quick notes, and then I'm like oh, what was the real idea? I have no idea, and it's because I threw the sticky note out, and I'm texting Cassie She's like Mariah, it's on the dock, and I'm like Okay, I'm like yeah, but I'm on my phone Google Docs my phone anyway But my own issues, and I'm also listening to the second book in the Court of Thorns and Roses series Which is called A Court of Mist and Fury and it's so Long it's like 60 or 70 chapters And I'm just now like 53% of the way through it And I have until like it's gonna like midnight You know on February 1st like once it strikes February once it strikes February 1st It's gonna take the book away from me, so I got to finish it in four days Other I know it actually says there's there. I think two more audiobook copies available, so I could just like I may be able to extend it Yeah, maybe I'll just like extend it as I say it usually only gets ripped away from you If ever if all the copies are on hold right like if somebody's waiting for the next if somebody's waiting for the next copy yeah But I really hope that I can finish it. I think I think I'm gonna be able to do it Godspeed that I mean that's pretty good luck if there are copies available because I feel like the series is just so popular right now That's kind of shocking right maybe people don't make it through a guitar, so then they're not even on the sequels Well, you know what it is. I people aren't listening to the audiobooks like the book itself When I went to reserve when I went to get like a copy of the e-book or whatever on my phone from Libby There's like a 14 week wait And now that's why I was like wait the audiobook so people must not grant that the audiobook is 24 hours long 23 24 hours, so I think that's a lot of people are like oh fuck that that's a long-ass book Which they are right, but I think that you know because there's only 600 pages I'm gonna say like to me. I'm just like don't know how long they're gonna I'm like don't you know how long you're gonna spend physically reading it anyway, right? Like and well this book is the thickest one in the series so like I think That's why I like a lot of people like are turned off to it because it looks so long but Yeah, I think there's it said like 28 out of 30 copies so I think that two are available if I you know miss the mark and have to extend it or just Renew it then like I'll be fine, and I'll be able to finish it and like probably a week at that point It's just audiobooks are it's just I wish I could listen them faster It's not like a book where I can just skim through it Just like turn the speed up to like point like three times speed and yeah Like I was gonna say I'm crying I'm listening to my current book on one and a half People move up to one it has to be barely noticeable though because when you can notice that it's like picks up the speed it really Takes me out of it. Yeah. Yeah, no and to me every narrator is different every narrator Every book is completely narrator although the narrators for this these books She's very good So that's I just mean like in terms of speed though like some people if you speed them up at all It's too fast and some people if you Yeah, I don't know I I have some video lectures for my classes and I listen to all of them on two times speed and because each new video starts out on normal speed when I If I don't get it turned up in time, and I hear how they normally talk I'm like, this is I'm like, oh my god. Well, it's funny too because with the videos it does kind of If well, I guess when you're listening on two times speed it really changes their voice quite a bit It doesn't like make it high-pitched squeaky or anything. But like right they just sound it doesn't pick up the depth or you know Details of their voice so much it's going so fast, but oh Man that scratches a brain itch with school stuff cuz I'm like, okay. I got the pertinent information. Thank you Well, that's the wrap on this week's episode be sure to follow the Cassie and Mariah show wherever you listen to podcasts at TCMS pod on Instagram and look out for new episodes every Wednesday. Bye