Ep. 2 Teenage Love

The participants of the Off-Topic podcast discuss their beliefs about teenage love. They express that they do not believe in it due to the immaturity and focus on physical appearance in relationships. They also mention the influence of social media and movies in shaping their perceptions of love. They discuss the pressures and insecurities that come with being single and the importance of self-love before entering a relationship. They also touch on the double standards between genders and the need for a healthy and supportive relationship. hey guys welcome back to the off-topic podcast with your host Kaylee and I have three special guests with me Kayla Madison and Cassia and today we're going to be talking about teenage love okay first let's start um my first question is do you guys believe in teenage love? No. Not really. At all? Not in this generation. Okay why? well you mean like it's all about like sleeping with the person and everything like it's not it's not like how it was before you know when you buy the girl's flowers and you do so much more for the person you know okay I get it yeah yeah I agree with Madison this generation sucks okay nothing's like real anymore I feel like guys are immature which is normal but they're very immature in relationships and there's so many like problems now with hooker culture and all that where you can't really have a deep emotional connection without it like being sexual or anything like that so I just don't think like you can actually like build a bond and have a relationship anymore. It's all about the looks like a lot. Yeah I agree. I feel like it's very much now about like looks and people just kind of like. It's only like that. I don't think so. When you go after somebody you're going after you're obviously going to be like. But that's what I think. Yeah I do agree like. Well my question is now would you go to that person because of their personality before they look good or before they look good? No no no I agree that you go to like your attraction. You're attracted to who you're attracted to. You go to who you're attracted to. And then you get to know them. You get to know them if you like them you stay if you don't. But I understand what you mean. Now it's more like the guy cares so much about the looks like if any like of his friends say yo your girl is ugly or whatever he's going to drop you in two seconds because he'll be embarrassed. The friends matter. It's like whenever a guy is like what you just said dating someone and then all their friends are like oh she's not or she's ugly or whatever it's like they'll literally leave you just because of what their friends say. And I think that's so wrong. Like what are you doing? But yeah. I think a lot of people are just really immature especially in high school. That's why I'm like waiting to like see Jeff to date. Okay but like you see Jeff. We're all waiting to see Jeff but um going into college it's harder to make new friends than high school because you're not in the same class as everyone else. Yeah. It's like you're not in the same class as everyone else. Yeah. It's like you're not in the same class as everyone else. Yeah. It's like you're not in the same class as everyone else. Yeah. It's like you're not in the same class as everyone else. Yeah. It's like you are too different. Yeah but would you rather date a guy in high school or would you rather date a guy in high school? I think it depends on the guy. It depends on like the guy and the maturity level. Yeah but like in my situation people can change and like I don't know I understand the fact that it like depends on the person but also we go to Lakeside Academy. Yeah that's awesome. So there's not really. But I feel like it's just going to be a lot easier. There's more people like there's like 3,000 people in the schools. There's obviously more. Yeah. So there's just going to be so many people in there. So like here in Lakeside Academy there's like 300. You know everybody. You see everybody every single day. You know who you're attracted to. Yeah. You know who you're not. You know there's not a lot of options right? So when we're in CJEP I just think it's just going to be a lot easier for us. I agree. To find people. Now we can't say anything. We don't have any options. But when we're out there we could see the options. Some of us have options that you know they don't want to do. Look to the left. Look to the right. Not in the podcast. I didn't think of anything. It's like I dropped names. You just said my name. I think this generation like you can't really find love. Yeah. I do agree with what you said at the beginning about how they're different back in the day. Oh my god. That's like the love I want. You know they used to leave their wives right? Oh my god. Like 1930s teenage love. Oh there were very much of it. What's even a date considered now? Like the notebooks. A date is like the bare minimum. You take me to the movies and that's it. I also feel like social media and like TVs and movies and like everything like glorifies me. It glorifies teenage love. Makes it seem like it's so easy and like it comes to you and it's just like put on the platter for you. But it's really not the case. And they also like normalize it. But I don't think it should be normalized. What is teenage love? Cause it's not common. It's not that common. I like that love triangle. I'm like I'm sorry. It's not common cause everyone's focused on getting bodies and all of that. Oh that's right. That irritates me so much. Like I don't understand the point of it at all. How do you have 20 bodies when you're 12? Yeah. How do you go that low? No but it's true. It's true. Now that we're in like grade 11, obviously people you know they're like oh I'm still virgin or I still haven't had my first kiss and I'm in grade 11. Might as well they're gonna rush it because they don't want to be put in that category of like they've done nothing. But again that's what's wrong. Like people are just peer pressuring other people. Oh what? Yeah peer pressure. That's such a huge thing. It's like oh my god like if you have too much then you're like a slut. But if you have too little you're considered like. Yeah well that's like a whole other topic but I agree. But that's the thing. There's so many double standards with guys and girls where if you're a girl and you've gotten with too many people you're a slut. But if you haven't then you're just a virgin and nobody wants to touch you. But with guys, if you haven't gotten with any girls then you're kind of weird for that. But if you've gotten with a bunch of girls you get a bunch of respect. But the thing is you're gonna be using girls and stuff just for their bodies, just for their looks. Which is not okay. Not at all. Okay next question. Well the next thing I'm gonna start talking about is what impact does social media have on this? All of it. That's what I think. I don't know we need to talk about that. Like TikTok when you see on TikTok all these videos of people being in love at a young age. I don't know I think it's just like. I don't want to say it's normalizing it but it kind of is. But I think teenage love has always been normalized. It's always been there. One of the first things that happened to me when I was a teenager was like how it was for our parents back when they were teenagers. But the thing is back then they didn't have social media or TikTok to see and to look at. And now it's like that's all we see. And it just like I don't know it kind of makes people feel like they're doing something wrong. Or it kind of like reflects on them and makes them think to themselves like what's wrong with me? Why am I not in love? Why haven't I found my person yet? Yeah so basically insecure. Yeah it can like tie back to insecurities. Yeah that's true. I don't know social media. But it's the thing about the movies right? We all watch movies. We all watch rom-coms. And it makes us want it a lot more than it would if we weren't around it. But I think what helps me. Like I think that if one of us in our friend group were like in a serious relationship. That would make me feel so much worse about being like alone. Because I would just be surrounded by that all the time. But the thing is we're all kind of insane both. Like we are all chronically single. And I think that makes me feel better just because it's not just me that's the problem. It's all of us and it's actually the men that are the problem. Because in my opinion. Men are the problem. We could all easily find people if we were just out there with you know nice people. Nice guys. But that doesn't really exist here. Yeah I don't like the immaturity in this generation. Like it really bugs me because. It's like there's always going to be someone better than you. And you're always going to feel that. That's always reminding me. There's always going to be another person. I feel like there's always going to be another person. There's always going to be someone better than you. Or someone that could like. I'm also like that's on you. Like if you're insecure. Then you shouldn't be in a relationship. Well that's how I feel. If you're insecure to like a point where you don't love yourself. And you want someone else to love you. But you have to love yourself before you can get into a relationship. Because then you're just going to depend on. For example the man. If you're not getting attention from him. Of course you're going to feel some type of way. You're going to start to think. Oh am I enough? Or am I not enough? Too much reassurance. Too much reassurance is like. Not annoying for the other person. But it's like why am I even trying to put in effort. When they don't believe that I truly like them. That's the thing. What you were saying in a relationship. I don't agree with that. Thinking that there's always going to be somebody better. If you're in a relationship with a guy. He should be content with you. He shouldn't be looking at you all the time. That's the thing I'm saying. I feel like in this generation. If I was with somebody. That was like. Did the bare minimum. Not the bare minimum. Above the bare minimum. And actually made me feel worse. And you know. I think it just means. You have to be in a healthy relationship. Because when you're in a healthy relationship. Jealousy is just. It's normal. In an unhealthy relationship. You obviously are going to be jealous of other people a lot. But if you're in a good relationship with somebody. At 18. At our age. Then you won't have to feel all these bad emotions about yourself. At our age too. That's the big thing. I think age is a huge thing in this. I'm totally fine with people starting to date at 14. I'd say even 14 is kind of a little young. 14, 15. You're fine. If you're younger than that. That's not a real relationship. But even 14, 15, 16. You're still young. You're still a kid. You're still young to be mature enough to be in a relationship. And for it to be healthy enough. And for you guys to be able to communicate. Because communication is a huge thing in a relationship. And I think it's harder when you're younger. Because you're also stubborn. Yeah, maturity is a huge thing though. And I feel like you guys. What are your guys' age limits for dating and stuff? Not limits. Us as age right now. That's a minor. Like if you guys would have kids. If you're aiming for kids. Oh, sorry. I don't know, like 13. Like your daughter or something. And she's like, hey, I have a boyfriend. I'm not going to tell her, go break up with him. You've already done something else. But what are your thoughts? What do you think about it? I think the kids are fun. Because obviously if you're going to high school. Of course, you're going to be guys that think are cute. Not in elementary. I wouldn't date in elementary. If you're 13, the limit for me would be 15. Anything older than that, I think is the case. That's not normal. If you're in development, you just. My throat. Yeah, I agree with the age gaps. When you're in high school and stuff. I think two years is max for me. I was going to say the other day. I literally thought. My throat. I was going to say the other day. I literally thought about how I'm 17 now. And it's not weird for me. It's a little bit weird. But it's not that weird for me to date a 20 year old. Because when you think about it, it's only three years. That's crazy. 16. With a guy that's turning 19. I said. Right? 16 and 19. But the thing. You get older. She's 18, turned 19, and she just turned 16. I don't know. Before, when I was younger, those age gaps would freak me out. When I thought about it, my sister met her boyfriend when she was 16. And he was 19. Really? Yeah, that's when they met. For me, personally, I wouldn't date someone older than 18. 18 is my limit right now. And I wouldn't date someone younger than 15. No, I wouldn't date anybody younger than 15. No, I'm like. 15. 14 and 15. You could be like a couple months older. But that doesn't mean I can get older. 15 years. Let's say we're all in our 20s. If I was 20 and I dated someone that's 24, it's not that weird at all. It's not weird if I was 24 dating someone that's 28. No, but I think it's not weird at all. Because I think 18 is like. I don't think at the moment I'd be able to date anybody younger than me. I think it would freak me out. Yeah, right now you think that. But when we see like a 20 year old dating a 30 year old guy, no one's going to question it. No, no, no. I mean, I cannot date somebody that's 16. I can date anybody older. I just can't date anybody younger. That's like, for me, it just freaks me out. Yeah. I could, but like one year younger. Two years. I'd say two years older when you're younger. Depends. Depends on the guy. Depends on the guy's character. These 14 year olds out here, don't they look very old? Okay, well, I don't know. I can't decide. No. The men you see on TikTok, they're 14. Oh, my God. You're horrible. Let's go through that following. Yeah. You. Let's talk. Let's talk. You're done? Yeah. I think it's that serious. That's your idea. You can date anybody younger. Two years younger. Yeah. I really love that they're the same. Okay, well, like one year younger than you. That's all I know. Two years older? One year. Yeah, that's what I think about it. If that 14 year old is going to be turning 15, and you're going to be 17. Okay, okay, okay, I know. What's your theory of how you guys end up in a mutual relationship? Do you believe you need a friendship to go through? Yes. I'm big on that. I'm big on friendship before. You need to be my friend first. That's me. Then we can experiment or whatever. Experiment. You know what I mean? I want to become friends. I feel like I couldn't fit. First of all, me personally, well, I think it's the same for everyone, but I'm drawn towards people that I'm attracted to. Obviously, if I find you're attractive, I'm going to like you and want to get to know you more. But the thing, to get to know you, I feel like we need to become friends because I want to be on that level of friendship before we could end up dating. I don't know if I want to get into a friendship knowing that it's going to turn into a relationship. But that's the point. No, I know. I know, I know, I know. Sometimes it can be forced. How does it mean it can be forced? Well, because I don't know. But the way it is for you guys is you're going to be in a friendship, not going to think anything of it, and then it can turn into more. I don't even mind if it's the opposite. I don't even mind if we both know we're attracted to each other or whatever. I'm going to tell you, we can get to know each other. I don't even know, is it in a friendship way? Yeah, that's the thing. It's not really in a friendship way because you both know that you like each other and you both know you're wanting to get into something. So that is considered a happy stage. That's considered a happy stage. Then what, you want me to become friends with every guy I'm interested in to see if I should be happy with him? No, I'm not saying that at all. That's the reason why I don't believe that I need to become friends with a guy because I have to date him. I think that it's more normal. I've never been friends with a guy that I'm attracted to. Does that make sense? You can't be friends with somebody you're attracted to. I've never been friends with somebody, like close friends with somebody that I'm attracted to. Who do you think? You can name. You can name. I've been this many times. Oh, her. Yeah, for me personally. Yeah, because I'm thinking even with Daniel. Daniel, I wasn't his friend. If I'm attracted to you, I don't want to be in a relationship with you. If we are acquaintances and I like you and I'm attracted to you, then I'm not considering you as a friend. I'm considering you as something more. As an option. As an option. That's crazy. How long do you think a talking stage should be? That's the thing I was going to talk about before. Talking stages for me, the max is a month. I don't understand why people draw them out. Are you talking to me? Yeah, I agree with you. Exactly. I don't understand people that are going on talking stages for five months. That's not a talking stage. That's a full blown relationship. I've said this before. Two months is the max, but for me it would be a month. I would not be able to handle a month of talking stages. Because you both know you want to date. You're a kid. But that's the thing. Why would you get into a talking stage at first if you're not ready? If you're in a talking stage, you should be ready. If you're in a friendship, I think that the talking stage should be shorter. Yeah, I agree with that. If you guys were friends before. Also, feelings can come later. Attraction can come later. Not that attraction can come later. Feelings can come later. I don't know about attraction, but feelings can come later. It depends. If you're friends with someone, you may not be attracted to their looks. That will come later. It depends on the person. Exactly. In friendships, I'm not looking at how you look. I'm looking at your personality. I like your personality enough to be friends with you. I don't like your looks enough to be friends with you. I'm going to have to disagree with you on the whole one-month thing. Because I feel like, coming from a person that hasn't talked to someone for four months, because that's just me. If I talk to you for a month and then we get into a relationship, I don't know what I'm getting myself into. We could have so many problems in the future because I didn't get to know you that much to know that would happen. That's the reason I got drawn out so long the way you did. There's nothing wrong with that. I just think that's one of the factors. It's not only that you wanted to get to know him a long time to see who he actually is because you didn't know him that well, but you were scared. People are scared nowadays. There's nothing wrong with that. I have a rule. I have a three-month rule because I just give that person time. If I talk to you over a month, you can text me any other girl and I don't know about it. That's why I have a three-month rule. If you're really committed and you really like me, you stay for those three months. In my head, talking stages are not the way that this generation sees it. Talking stages for me are very much we hang out a lot, we see each other, not only with FaceTime. That's the thing with nowadays. Talking stages aren't like that. That's why I interviewed a talking stage for a month rule or two-month rule. If you see each other, it's kind of like you're jumping into a relationship. You just haven't put the label. It's like a preview. You see how it would go. She said the three-month rule. Do you know what the three-month rule is? Do you believe in that? For dating, yeah. If you're in a relationship after three months, yeah. What, we need a three-month rule for dating? If there's a three-month, a six-month, and a nine-month rule. Basically, the three-month rule is if you're together for three months, sometimes the guys will lose interest after three months because he's just getting tired of you. If you're in a relationship, what do you guys believe that you should have in a relationship after a month, after two months, after six months? I'm going to say after a year. When you're ready, when you're comfortable with the person. I do judge a little bit of people that do two weeks into dating and you've done everything together. I do judge that, especially when it comes to your age. If you're older, if you're 18 or whatever and doing that. It's none of my business. Exactly. If you're 14 and doing that and you already have sex when you're comfortable. Having sex on the first date, I think there's also that age matters. If you're under 20, you should say, especially if you're not a virgin anymore. Go ahead and do you. You have to tell your partner if you're a virgin. Oh, you have to tell your partner if you're in our age. Whatever. I feel like the conversation would come up beforehand. I feel like that's something you guys would end up talking about at some point. If we're not saying it in a relationship sense where you're having a one night stand and you met this person at a party and you're going back to do something else. Do you have to tell them? Because I think you do. I think so too. I think it's important to share that. But I also don't think I'd ever do that. You don't think you'd ever tell them? For the first time, if it's my first time, I don't think I'd do that. But I don't think I'd ever be in that scenario. That would not be the way I would use my virginity. I'd definitely do that in the future, but at that point, I wouldn't be a virgin. You're dating someone and you know because they've been open about them not being a virgin but they don't know you're a virgin. In a relationship, you have to know each other. But that's what I'm saying. I feel like it would come up in the conversation at one point. I feel like you'd already know. You're not talking through your phone. No, I don't mean that. I just mean talking about what you've done. I feel like if you talk about your previous relationship, that would come up at one point. They'd be like, I had a girlfriend. I'd be like, oh. I wouldn't be weird about it, but I feel like it would come up normally in the conversation. You have to know each other. That type of stuff. Obviously, if it hasn't come up, I would tell them at one point. That's the thing. If you're having a one night stand with this person and you're losing your virginity, nothing wrong with that. Just tell the other person because that's a big deal for the other person. Taking your virginity. By the way, I just did air quotes and I'm literally not. I feel like it's a big deal. It's not a big deal if you've never been that intimate with a person. You don't have to take your virginity so seriously in my eyes. I agree with you. I don't think it's that bad. People take it really seriously. I guess that's a very intimate thing, but I also think it doesn't need to always be that intimate. Sex is normal. I don't know. I would say soul, but not really soul connections. No, it is a very intimate thing. It's an important thing, but I just think, especially us, we put so much pressure on ourselves. Girls that are virgins have never been that way with a guy. You put so much pressure on yourself because you've never lost it. It's a big thing, but you're kind of vulnerable. I'm very vulnerable. You're very vulnerable. Yes, it can be vulnerable, but a girl is more vulnerable than that. Would you rather sleep with somebody who is a virgin when you're a virgin or sleep with somebody who is experienced when you're a virgin? Personally, I don't know too much especially, there's something about it where you're having your first time with your boyfriend. Would you rather both of you to be a virgin or I'd rather somebody that has experience. You might believe not like you're out on the street in the corner and just have a little bit of experience. I don't mind if they're experienced. I don't really care. If my boyfriend's a virgin at that point you're both not embarrassed at all. You're both in the same situation. I do think it's a little bit complicated if you're a virgin and your boyfriend is experienced. I feel like you'll put so much pressure on yourself. That's also the thing where you have to be in a healthy enough position to trust in each other and for him to like trust him that you know that he won't be in a situation like that. I don't think it's me. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you.