CC #15 (Hallmarks of Happiness)

Elder Gary B. Saban gives a talk entitled "Hallmarks of Happiness." He emphasizes the importance of building upon the foundation of Jesus Christ and being sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father. He also highlights the value of kindness and serving others. The speaker shares a personal story about his son with cystic fibrosis and how he did his best to earn an archery merit badge. The talk encourages listeners to remember the worth of each soul and to prioritize what is truly important in life. Surely, the Lord God will do nothing, but He revealeth His secret unto His servants the prophets. How blessed we are to have a living prophet today. Brothers and sisters, the Savior declared, whether by my own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same. Welcome to Conference Chronicles, where we systematically take one conference talk per week from the previous conference and dissect it and learn from it. I'm your host, Taylor Lithgow, and I firmly believe that as we listen to and apply the Lord's teachings through His living prophets, we will fulfill the full measure of our creation and we will be prepared for the Lord at His second coming. So please join with me each week as we take this quest called Conference Chronicles. Hey everybody, welcome on in to this week's episode of Conference Chronicles. Hope you had a wonderful week. Just a reminder to go and check out those weekly Wednesday episodes called Discuss with Friends and thankful that you're tuning in to listen today. This week's talk is by Elder Gary B. Saban of the Seventy. It's entitled Hallmarks of Happiness. He starts his talk by telling a story of when he was on a business flight several years ago. He met a man from the Netherlands. He was excited to talk to him because he served his mission in the Netherlands and in Belgium. And as he got talking to this guy, the guy gave him a business card and on it his job title was Professor of Happiness. He was intrigued by this and had a discussion with the man and it kind of made him start to think of what truly invites happiness into our lives, real and lasting happiness. He goes on to say, today I would like to review a few essential principles for true happiness that seem to elude so many in this confusing world where many things are interesting but few are truly important. That statement kind of struck me a little bit. I find myself all too often craving just to be interested or just to be entertained, right? Or I feel satisfied if I can just find something interesting to watch or to listen to or to think about. But all too often those interesting things aren't truly important, as he said. He said in this confusing world where many things are interesting but few are truly important. So he highlights five principles that will invite true and lasting happiness in this life and in the next. The first principle he talks about is this. He says, my first observation is that building upon the foundation of Jesus Christ is essential to our happiness. This is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build, they cannot fall. Doing so prepares us for the challenges of life, come what may. He then tells a story about his son at a scout camp, and I will admit there are a few stories throughout his talk that are kind of hard for me to relate them back to his point. Like, in this, his first observation is that building upon the foundation of Christ is essential to our happiness. I mean, that is so true. Of course it is. That is one of the truest things. The story he goes on to tell, in my eyes, I don't really see the connection, but as you look deeper, you might be able to see the connection. So he does point out that it is important in this building on our foundation of Christ that we just can do our best. He points out that all we really can do is our best, and then the story he tells about his son is that his son has cystic fibrosis. He was at a scout camp, and he was wanting to get an archery merit badge, and he was quite frail because of his cystic fibrosis. So he, as his father, was very worried and anxious about him going to do the archery merit badge, and if he was going to embarrass himself, and he just wanted his son to be happy. So there he sat, waiting for them to come back from the merit badge, and his son came back and said, Dad, I got the merit badge. I got a bullseye. It was on the target next to mine, but I hit a bullseye. So it was kind of a funny story, of course, and he goes on to say he had pulled the bow back with all his might and let the arrow fly, unable to control its trajectory. How grateful I am for that understanding archery instructor who never said, sorry, wrong target, but rather, upon seeing Justin's obvious limitations and earnest effort, he kindly responded, good job. That is how it will be for us if we do our very best to follow Christ and his prophets in spite of our limitations. If we come unto him by keeping our covenants and repenting of our sins, we will joyfully hear our Savior's commendation, well done, thou good and faithful servant. I guess I will add a bit of commentary on my own and point out that sometimes it is daunting to think about building our foundation on Jesus Christ and all that that entails. We are so far from perfect, and we're commanded in the scriptures to be perfect, and it can feel daunting. So I do like his reminder here that all we can do is our best, and we do have limitations, and like his son, he did his very best. He shot the arrow, and it hit the bullseye, but it was way off, it was on the other bullseye, and yet the wise instructor saw that and still credited him with the merit badge. And I do believe the same will be true on a spiritual level. As he said, our Savior will commend, well done, thou good and faithful servant. Point number two from Elder Sabin. He says, my second observation is that it is crucial to our happiness that we remember we are sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father. Knowing and trusting this reality changes everything. This point reminds me exactly of the discussion we had a few weeks ago about the talk from Elder Phillips entitled, God Knows and Loves You, and it reminded me of this quote from Elder Ballard. It says, there is one important identity we all share now and forever. That is that you are and have always been a son or daughter of God. Understanding this truth, really understanding it and embracing it is life-changing. That's exactly what Elder Sabin said in this talk, that it is life-changing, and it truly is. And then I'll read an excerpt from Elder Phillips' talk, you know, the one I'm referencing to from a couple weeks ago. He said, do not misunderstand or devalue how important you are to your Father in Heaven. You are not an accidental byproduct of nature, a cosmic orphan, or the result of matter plus time plus chance. Where there is design, there is a designer. Your life has meaning and purpose. You are a beloved child of Heavenly Father. You are the subject matter of all those parables and teachings. God loves you so much that He sent His Son to heal, rescue, and redeem you. And then in that episode a couple weeks ago, I asked a few questions. How does knowing you are a child of God and that He knows and loves you impact the way you view yourself, impact the way you view others, impact the way you view life's challenges, and how you view God's commandments, and how you view the Savior's sacrifice for you? So I'll let you sit and ponder those questions now again. How does knowing you're a child of God change everything for you? And I might add, how does it influence your happiness levels? To tie it into this week's topic. Okay, now point number three that Elder Sabin points out. He says, the third hallmark for happiness is to always remember the worth of a soul. We do this best by following the Savior's admonition, love one another as I have loved you. He says, we will never regret being too kind. In God's eyes, kindness is synonymous with greatness. I really do like that quite a bit. When you think about men and women throughout the history of the world, there has been such a focus on being famous, right, or making it into the history books. When you look at leaders of large countries that conquered other nations and won battles and wars, or famous adventurers who sailed to new lands, or famous philosophers, there is a big focus on how you would make your imprint on the world, and if your name would be had for generations to come. And we see that in our world today, right? People wanting to get famous on social media, or go viral, or become a famous actor or celebrity of some kind, an artist, a singer, right? We see that in our world today also. But how does God measure greatness? Elder Sabin says, I'll read it again, in God's eyes, kindness is synonymous with greatness. It reminds me of the scripture where the Lord says, the first shall be last, and the last shall be first. Or the one that says, if any will be chief among you, let him be a servant, or something like that. In God's eyes, we are great when we are serving, and when we are loving, and when we are being kind. That is how greatness is measured. So coming back to this point of remembering the worth of a soul, and kind of pondering how that can bring happiness in our lives, I thought of a couple personal experiences. In the summer of 2015, my good friend and I, Carson and I, moved to Alaska, Ketchikan, Alaska, to work for the summer. And as some of you might know, that's actually how I ended up meeting my wife, Cassidy. But this story is not about her. So we met this guy named Roger, kind of, I can't remember how we met him exactly. I think he just came into the retail store we were working and we got talking with him and found out that he's essentially homeless. He lived on a neighboring island called Metlakatla. It was a native reservation island. And he did something to get kicked off the island. They booted him. They made him leave. And he never actually ended up telling us what he did, you know, to get banished from the island. But we did find out that he was there on Ketchikan, and he didn't really have a place to live. So Carson and I took him in. We let him live with us in our apartment. And we didn't really think too much of it, but we made him a cot, you know, in our living room, and that's where he slept for a few months. And we went about our day-to-day lives working and having fun, and Roger was there for a lot of it. He was kind of tagging along. And while I don't really think about him much in my day-to-day life, you know, he's kind of a distant memory, I feel grateful for the time I did get to spend with him. He was a good example of being happy. He was always happy. And he kind of had a go-with-the-flow type mentality, but he really did give me a reminder that every soul is precious to God. And when we open ourselves up to it, we can truly learn from every individual as well. The other story I thought of was a man named Rodney. So anyone in my immediate family, of course, knows who I'm talking about when I say Rodney. When my grandma was young, growing up in Texas, she had this friend, Rodney. And they were childhood friends, and he got in a terrible accident. I think a car hit him, and without being too graphic, my grandma says that his head was split open, and his brain was on the ground, on the street. They had to put everything back inside his head and sew him back up, and he was never quite the same. He just had a lot of mental limitations, you know, he was a man, but he kind of behaved like a child. Well, Rodney ended up moving to Utah in his adult life, and he would come over to our house for every Christmas Eve and Christmas. Without fail, Rodney was there. And he wore the same Christmas sweater every year. And he was usually pretty quiet, you know, kept to himself. But every year we could count on Rodney being there for our Christmas Eve celebration. And as a child, again, I didn't really think a lot of it. I didn't talk to Rodney a lot, I didn't hang out with him a ton. But now looking back, I'm so grateful for my grandma and my parents and their willingness and love for him, you know, to invite him every year to join with us during that time. And I'm grateful for their example of always remembering the worth of a soul. President Russell M. Nelson has wisely said that one of the easiest ways to identify a true follower of Jesus Christ is how compassionately that person treats other people. So I'll just add my witness that this principle truly does invite real, lasting happiness into our hearts. Now the fourth principle that Elder Sabin points out is this. He says, my fourth happiness hallmark is to maintain an eternal perspective. Our Father's plan stretches into the eternities. It is easy to focus on the here and now and forget the hereafter. He goes on to tell a story. Here's what he says. I was taught this lesson powerfully a number of years ago by our then 16-year-old daughter, she was about to have a double lung transplant where the five diseased lobes of her lungs would be completely removed and replaced by two healthy smaller lobes donated by two amazing Christ-like friends. It was a very high-risk procedure, yet the night before her surgery, Jennifer almost preached to me with all of her 90 pounds saying, don't worry dad, tomorrow I will wake up with new lungs or I will wake up in a better place. Either way will be great. He points out that is faith, that is eternal perspective. Seeing life from an eternal vantage point provides clarity, comfort, courage and hope. After the surgery, when the long-awaited day came to remove the breathing tube and turn off the ventilator that had been helping Jennifer breathe, we anxiously waited to see if her two smaller lobes would work. When she took her first breath, she immediately started crying. Seeing our concern, she quickly exclaimed, it is just so good to breathe. Ever since that day, I have thanked Heavenly Father morning and night for my ability to breathe. What a beautiful story that illustrates having an eternal perspective and how amazing that his daughter, just 16 years old and 90 pounds at the time, had this eternal perspective. Hey, when the procedure is over, I'm either going to have new lungs here on earth or I'll be in heaven and I'll have new lungs there. There was no shadow of a doubt in her mind and that perspective was powerful and palpable. I also thought of an experience recently that Cassidy and I had. She has unfortunately been dealing with a thyroid issue, Graves disease, where her thyroid is just not able to properly balance the amount of hormones that are given to the rest of her body. And so we have been holding off on trying to have kids. You know, there's a really high risk for miscarriage or just other pregnancy complications with this type of an autoimmune disorder. And the other night, she was feeling extremely down and depressed and somehow feeling like this was her fault, you know, blaming herself. And it was just a challenging and trying time. And as we discussed, I said, hun, I want to have kids really badly. You know that. And I truly believe that we will and that you'll be able to overcome this and we'll be able to have children. But if that isn't part of our plan here on this earth, if we don't have children, at least we have each other and we will forever. And I know that we can have eternal increase and have children in the next life. And I know that that moment was special for us. We felt the spirit confirmed to us that all would be well that while this is challenging and trying right now in the eternal scheme of things, all will truly be well elder Sabin goes on to say we are surrounded by innumerable blessings that we can easily take for granted if we are not mindful. Conversely, when nothing is expected and everything is appreciated, life becomes magical. I'm going to say that again. When nothing is expected, and everything is appreciated, life becomes magical. And that truly is an eternal perspective. It also leads perfectly into his fifth and final hallmark of happiness. He says, that brings me to my fifth and final observation, which is you will never be happier than you are grateful. I like the way he worded that you will never be happier than you are grateful. It reminds me of when my mom would say, and I've quoted this before, a mother is only as happy as her most unhappy child. Or I like this one that says you rise and fall to the level of your systems. So if you have proper systems and processes in place, you will rise or fall to those I think the same principle applies to what Elder Sabin says here, you'll never be happier than you are grateful. And I really believe that to be true. There are so many studies that show the incredible blessings associated with being grateful. It really impacts our happiness on a direct level. I was reading online on this website is mentalhealthfirstaid.org. It says, research has shown that conscientiously practicing gratitude can reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. In fact, studies have found that a single act of thoughtful gratitude produces an immediate 10% increase in happiness and a 35% reduction in depressive symptoms. And then on another website, nuvancehealth.org, it says gratitude triggers the brain to release neurotransmitters and hormones associated with happiness, including dopamine and serotonin. Regularly practicing gratitude can be a natural antidepressant because it produces feelings of contentment and pleasure. So it is chemically and scientifically proven that gratitude increases our happiness levels. There are other studies that show that it will rewire our brain, right? If we can consistently practice an attitude of gratitude, our brain will eventually start thinking about the world differently as a whole. Our whole perspective will change as we put this practice into play. So I would ask you guys, what systems or processes do you have in place to invite an attitude of gratitude into your life? There are some things you do daily, weekly, that remind you of how much you actually have. I would invite you to schedule time in your day to count your many blessings. And I truly believe it will be life-changing, you know, for you and for me. The other thing I'll invite us to kind of consider is just the people that we spend the most time around. Are those people grateful people? Are they happy people? Our ability to be grateful increases dramatically when we surround ourselves with people who are also that way. So just take a mental inventory of the people you spend the most time around and if they're helping or hindering your happiness levels. I'll close with Elder Sabin's final promise he gives us. Here's what he says. I promise you that if we build our lives upon the foundation of Jesus Christ, value our true identity as sons and daughters of God, remember the worth of a soul, maintain an eternal perspective, and gratefully appreciate our many blessings, especially Christ's invitation to come unto him, we can find the true happiness we seek during this mortal adventure. And isn't that what we're all looking for, right? We do want true and deep happiness in this mortal adventure and in the next life. I'll add my testimony to his that I believe strongly in those five principles or hallmarks that he pointed out as well. I know that as we implement them into our lives and allow them to become part of us, true happiness and joy and contentment will be a natural byproduct. I share my testimony that Jesus Christ truly is the Prince of Peace. Following him is always the recipe to success. So grateful for him and to be a member of his church, even the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And I close that in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. Thank you. Thank you, friends, for tuning in to this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you share it. I hope you have a beautiful week this week, and I look forward to gathering again on Wednesday and Sunday to discuss more. Next week's episode will be on the talk given by Elder Joni L. Koch of the Seventy. I hope I said his name right. It's entitled, Humble to Accept and Follow. Look forward to discussing it with you then. Talk with you soon.