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A group of individuals are discussing their backgrounds and favorite memories from Bethel College. They talk about their current roles and how Bethel College has shaped them. They also mention different experiences such as Fall Fest and a magazine called "Survival" that focused on racial justice and black students at the college. They touch on the importance of having a safe space to express themselves. Some backlash was received, but they emphasize the need for understanding and acceptance of different perspectives. cool did you get the information you needed where you have those little yeah I can read that we can all we can just record that after two and that's one of you wants to read if you want to read well no I was just saying here you remember yeah so so majors of duraltas Bible as long as you know I would think but you can also include it in your introduction if you want yeah so welcome you've read the intro so I'll just jump to the questions and I can record whatever intro after the fact all right so could you start by saying a little bit about yourselves where you're from what do you currently do and also what was or is your favorite memory from Bethel College if we want we can start with Cheryl and go around to whatever order you know so I'm just a little about me I have been the executive director of the Kansas Institute for Peace and Conflict Resolution KIPP Corps for almost six years it'll be in November it'll be six years here and I am originally from Tallahassee Florida so I'm a long way from home and I've lived kind of all over the east and Midwest I just got back from Minneapolis my my adopted home I lived there for the longest about 17 years so I consider that to be one of the places that shaped me and kind of gave me some of the things that the skills and and gifts that I bring to the work that I do so it's always great to go back and a memory a favorite memory I guess my new favorite memory would be so when I when I started here my my youngest son came to Bethel and he graduated last year in the spring and my favorite memory will always be him crossing that stage and just the culmination of all that was poured into him not just by us as his parents then I should mention my husband also works here and teaches here we both taught him he took courses from and you know just knowing that it took the village like there were so many people that I just had to be grateful for and thank for his journey and just to know that he landed on his feet and went on to grad school at KU so yeah so I will stop there okay my name is Tierra Russell I'm currently a freshman here at Bethel College I'm a biochemistry major and I also play flag football here I'm originally from Alexandria Virginia so I'm very far from home my favorite memory even though I've only been here for three months I would say like a few weekends ago me and my friends we drove to Kansas City it's a world of fun for their little so yeah that's probably the best thing I didn't do it here at Bethel, but I did it at Bethel. My name is Faith Allen and I am a 1974 1978 high school 74 1978 graduate of Bethel as a matter of fact this year we celebrate in 45 years for our graduation and I currently am a pastor I have been for pastoring about 30 years and so I'll pastor the church I'm from Kansas City Missouri I came to Bethel on the fact that when I was in high school the colleges would send out recruiters and I when I thought we were at we're at the high school and the recruiters were there I saw this guy sitting over there by himself because no one was going to his coming over there to talk to him and his name was Jim and I thought I just went over there just my chance to go but I'm just going to go over here and talk to him no one else is coming over here talking to him and so I talked to him and he gave me his card from Bethel he was going to tell me talk talk about a little bit he gave me his card from Bethel when it was time for me to graduate from high school and I had to choose a college I was trying to figure which college I don't know and I had that card and I placed it up on the the mantel in my in my living room and I just said hey that guy gave me this card and so I took that card and I applied to Bethel and that's how I got here and so it's been one of my favorite memories my major was English speech and drama secondary education so one of my favorite memories being an English major was doing interterm and so they would go to different places and so we were going to there was a trip that was going to London for the month so I don't know if we're still doing that for the whole month of January you take different you take the whole time off really as you can stay here and take a class but we could also go up to different different places and I went to we went to London and so I was there for the month we were there we went to so many plays and Stonehenge and we had one week while we were there we were able to go wherever we wanted and some folk went to Paris and I went to to Frankfurt because my brother was in the Air Force and he was stationed in Frankfurt that's when I found out that you could just really take off it was just a hop skip jump once you get over there it's just a hop skip jump to a place else and I was able to go over there and spend time with him and his wife my sister-in-law and then they came over and spent some time with me in in London that was also the first time I'd been on an airplane so I flew to Chicago and we flew out of Chicago and here we are for like six hours it was just it was a six-hour flight and we I mean it was it was just it still blows my mind my mom tells folk because we went to Cambridge and no discipline that she said yeah and she was studied at Cambridge and I was like I'll just let her go and do it when she introduces me. You know like okay no mom I just went there and we went and did the tour and the A8 and that was it. But so she always puts that in there that she studied and I'm like okay. So that is my story here part of it. Thank you. Yeah my name is Jerome Williams and I graduated from Bethel in 2015 and I'm originally from the Garland, Texas. It's the city Garland but it's in the Dallas area and currently I'm a pastor I'm the pastor of Shalom Mennonite Church here in Newton. I just moved back in the area oh gosh what two months ago from Oregon so it's been I've been traveling a lot since I graduated back in 2015. Yeah one of my favorite memories at Bethel I actually like really loved Fall Festival. I know this is kind of what brings a lot of activity to the college and so the Fall Fest I used to really love me and my friends we've always had sort of a hand in a part of the Fall Fest events. You know we're all football players so of course we're playing the game on Saturday evenings but there's also times where we did a concert once for a Fall Fest there was a step routine that we kind of did a little bit. I wasn't much a part of that part. I was the introducer. So yeah I really love Fall Fest. Some of my favorite memories happened around that weekend where campus was really lively you know everything's happening people are moving around a lot getting to hear about some of the history because you know folks from the board are here and then also experiencing the new things that are coming into the area and so yeah so Fall Fest was a great time for me as a student and so I'm excited to be back in this area for it for it again. Well thank you all. Let's go on to the next question which is what is the biggest change you see on campus this year or in this era. It doesn't have to be this year in particular but compared to when you were a student here, Tiara since this is your first time, if you have any questions for the other folks who have been here longer you can jump in and ask and I'll actually add since this is for survival and Dr. Faith Allen you can clarify some of what the original was about but from what I've read it's specifically about racial justice and black students at Bethel College so if you want to speak more on those changes relating to Bethel College and race that would be invited. Anybody can start. Because with survival and as I was saying it was just that because we were trying to survive. We were a culture within a culture and we were together but we were trying to have a voice and try to have a voice that we would be able to just explain certain things that were you know that were going on with us of who we were and let me also say this we were also trying to find out who we were because again as we were coming here and brought here for different reasons and different regions and coming from all over Chicago and Florida and New York and Kansas City and so of course when we were on the campus we have not been you know we were all coming from an African-American culture and we were not an integration and so then here we were brought in as that and coming forth and and so we were just trying to help folk get an understanding of we as a people and what you know what we were seeing sometimes just how folk would look at you of course in a different in a different way and well no that the fact that well okay but you know and accepting our differences and trying to you know get to know you as as people also and so that's basically what it was and just also and it was something because when I read the Bible again sent to me and I said oh wow I didn't realize that we were trying to be we were being radical. I didn't realize it. But also I was just thankful for all the gifts that we had in the writings different things that we would talk about just that whole magazine and how it was put together the poems just maybe the in highlighting someone of something that they had done and and so in that to just have a safe space to be able to to speak it. Did you get any backlash? Well because yes at one point Bethel had another also another magazine and and they were not understanding you know some of the ones that was you know part of that were not understandable. Why do y'all have to have your own. So it's as if you know folk are saying well you know we have all the other magazines why do you have to have Ebony? You know why do you have to have Essence? And also why do you know why well because you know we we have different we there's different thinking there's different ways of coming forth and of acting so when we started it you know you know someone was saying that well no we just we're just going to keep on doing the best that we can with our you know with our magazine and so we're like okay we weren't just trying to you know take anything over and not to say that yours wasn't enough it was that we have you know we had something different. That was it. So that was what we got. Yeah it's interesting hearing you talk about that because when I was a student here I was here I was a super senior so I was here for five years from 2010 to 2015 and it felt like there was a void for the black voice right like black students there was no place to really share our culture, frustrations, experiences and so yeah there was just it it felt like we were longing for that in a lot of ways within the community and there was just no outlet to be able to talk about those things without someone getting offended or without someone thinking that we're like you know immediately leaving campus or something you know like that it was there was yeah it feels like there was this void and so I I wish that was still going in those years I'm glad that's back with the students now because that was something that I really I really would have loved to have been a part of or or something I was really missing from our community during those time during that those years. Yeah I think just from what I've read I mean I feel like what was good about those times is you know you could do a lot where you could you know not be so regiment so regulated I guess and there's a beauty in the creativity that comes out of not having so many hands and something or someone giving you permission to do it and so that's what I that's what I read in the pieces that I saw and the rawness of some of the writing I loved the way that people were just super honest about their feelings about being on this campus and and knowing you know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that there are some people who still resonate with that feeling you know I said this before in a previous recording but I think that the myth that I had coming here and having my son here was that it'll be okay because I can protect him I can be that shelter for him when things get tough and the reality was that I couldn't I couldn't do that for him I could not be in the classroom with him to shelter him from some of the experiences he had nor you know just some of the you know he would he he would express you know without telling his story I think he he would be okay with me saying that there were times that he felt really lonely even though his mother and father were right here on campus and no we can't be everything to our kids and and he wanted his distance from me that was it was funny there was a young man who's now come to work for Bethel that he graduated along the same time as my son and he took a class that I taught with and I taught both of them together and I said something about something and somebody asked me about him and he was like that's your son and I said yes that's my son and he said how is that possible like I was like because he wanted the boundary of me not parading him around campus and and I I honored that for the three years the first three years and the senior year it was so funny he came up to me some short shortly after this the semester the first semester started and he brings some friends up his mod mates up to me and he goes hey this is my mom and I'm like you're acknowledging me now so we had a bit of wonderful senior year as a result of him just opening up and being cool with mom and dad being around and bringing his friends around so that's why I said when he crossed that stage he left nothing he left nothing in terms of experiences and and fulfillment so yeah but but those those things that students experienced were real and and I think that when we talk about history we have to show all of it we can't just show the glossy parts like all these black people that graduated from Bethel and look what they're doing now but we and if we want students to have better experiences at Bethel we have to tell the whole story thinking about the fact that when I think the year that I came it was probably about the largest group of African Americans that had come that year I think about 30 of us and that was because they would do a lot of recruiting for football players and and so and they were bringing a lot of football players in from from Florida and so we would always you know congregate together and for instance during convocation we would we would be sitting together so and so to be and we'd have our section we just know we're just sitting together and so in the in the cafeteria you know we're sitting together and so we we got some some slack from you know some of the folk of why do y'all why y'all sitting together so why do y'all know why I don't know if they thought we were plotting uprising away and we're saying because this is what we know we didn't understand it I mean but we were like okay is you know here's our brother here's our sister we we know each other and we we understand you know we give this we talk the same language and and so basically that was it so it wasn't a matter that we're going to come and we're going to sit here and then some of us would be sitting over here sit up here we're going here because this is you know this is this is who we know and this is what we know and as time went on it was that okay we're getting to know no folk and and so we're doing some integration but that was I know that seemed to be a problem I always think that's funny when people say why are you all doing it the same reasons all the white people sit together another change I noticed on campus that's interesting to me from when I was a student is it feels like there are more faculty and staff of color than when I was here as well and that was like super difficult right like I never took a class with a black professor until I was in my master's program in Pittsburgh and and yeah so like I I think that's a good change that's happening about the little faster but I I think is a good change that's happening that you know some of what you said Dr. Allen that black students have someone that speaks their language right they can they have a place a voice they can go to someone they can go to and talk to about their experiences where like we definitely felt like we didn't have that when I was here and so I think that's a welcome change that I've been noticing and really excites me about Buffalo's future going forward and some of that yeah I was able to just make a lot of friends and I mean I was able I was able to do it I got black from my brothers and sisters like why are you I said because I'm we're friends you know I've been together I was on the volleyball team the manager for the girls basketball team and so in that and that's what other parts of it and taking different trips and visiting like different friends and going home with them going on the farms and those kind of things like that so it was it was always you know it was fun for me and I was able to just you know fluidly back and forth so you know I had that kind of fluidity at that time and I and I still do we also just there were professors that just had some awesome professors that I'm we're still friends with now and I know Doug and really know Barb Graber she was a physical ed and her husband Russ and of course George Rogers George gonna protect all of us. George would sit us down and talk to us and say y'all can't do this you know you can't you don't have you're gonna have to well okay you know okay now this is what you need to do so we had those you know those folks that they were there we could go and talk to them if something was going on and as we said we just and we just remain friends they you know they helped us and we helped them and they would say you know you guys helped us we have and so we have remained that way we had families in the community my roommate Heidi and she was here from Newton so I was able to be there with her her family and then then the families that really adopted us and so and of course we had the churches here and so we would go and be a part of the you know would be a part of the church well let me take that back most folks did so let me when I was here at Bethel I was agnostic I thought it was atheist but someone explained no that's agnostic you're agnostic oh okay so I you know so my coming to to Jesus all right took place way after and then of course I always say you don't know what God is gonna do you know when you get that call and you say wait meet me Lord and so in that and to come back but you know it was really something because when I was when I was told for what and and but some folks like George Rogers says I'm not surprised okay but those folks that will pour into you like okay you know y'all better than this and you know what you were able to do and they know there's different things they would just be with us and and lift us up and I think I see those now it's really something of course and being on the board and Wow and to be able to see the you know the coming together you know just seeing the students and then of course there's a genuine just you know care and concern and wanting to us to be okay you know you you're here and we are precious and I know so I thought so I love that and I so when I when I'm in the when I'm in the cafeteria when we're there or when we're at the meetings and all of that just what I see now I think it's awesome and because of course like I said when we were here it was mostly men and night and just again trying to learn that culture too when we when the year that I came I think they were celebrating maybe it might have been their 100th and and it was so much I was like okay Wow but it now that what I see is just what I feel is it coming together I we were I was here at a time when there were you know in a racial relationships oh my goodness and we had one student that he was going with someone and their parents came and got her out of school so it was it was those kind of things like that that were happening so I think what I what I see now is of course you know more integration and more of okay let's do this you know I'm grateful that you feel good about the presence of people of color and on campus I still feel like it's not enough based on the representation of the students that are coming here knowing that we are hitting I don't know what the percentage is this year they might have announced that but I missed I missed that information but I know last year it was like in the 40% of students of color and so I'm imagining it's something similar and I just feel like if it's 40% students of color here why are we not having that reflected in faculty and staff we need to do more better but I don't know and I'm not blaming anyone I'm just saying it's attention must be paid so my hope is that that aspect can grow because I know that was big for me is seeing myself in someone that was teaching me I had the good fortune to for part of my college career attend an HBCU and I grew up in an HBCU community so it was kind of what I took for granted it was where my parents went to school and everybody my family went to school so it wasn't a big deal to me but man when I left and I transferred to a different college it was I knew then what I lost you know but yeah people who knew my parents people who you know who cared enough to tell me the things that nobody else was gonna tell me that's super important and so even just having that in a few people and I do try to do that with students students of color especially and I've adopted students I've had host students and I just I try to pour into them as much as they will allow. I heard you said 40% you know that blows my mind. You know because ours was probably about 4% I'm not I'm sure it probably was less than 10 so that's another thing that when I said oh okay wow and it was almost as if that's about as much as it was going to be so the fact that it's 40% then wow. Tiara I want to hear some of your experiences with the Curtis students. I'd say going on what you guys said as far as faculty members none of my teachers are of color because I'm in the science you know field so we don't see a lot of representation there but as far as someone I talked to in student life her name is Jamila. She's like a big sister to the girls on the football team she comes and sit with us and we can genuinely talk to her about our feelings and you know different passions we have we joke with her laugh with her so yeah as far as like faculty I think there can definitely be a lot more representation across majors not just you know African-American history of course you know stuff like that but yeah yeah I'm curious about because 40% like yeah that was an eye-opening number for me when I heard you say that but I also think about like retention right students that start and also finish yeah because that was a big hang-up when I was a student here was yeah we'll bring in all these black students students of color in general you know especially with the sports teams but so many would transfer right after you know first semester first year second year and I think diversifying staff and faculty helps helps will help with retention overall right like that would like students will feel not so not as alone and it's but then yeah you'll still have students that transfer for whatever reason right there's this yeah there's a lot of circumstances that happen but I think that a lot of students at least from when I was here felt trapped in some ways right like they show up if sports aren't going well right then what what do I have right what's next for me oh well classes are more difficult than I thought they were going to be oh well I don't have connections with people that thought I would have there's nowhere good to eat there's nowhere to hang out right like all those things start bubbling up much more yeah and and I think Bethel has done some good things like with the host family program I had a host family when I was here lovely time you know I met my wife here at Bethel which was amazing for me and so Bethel has done some things to help mitigate some of that you know you mentioned Russ earlier he was part of having that mentor mentee program that I was a mentor here for students of color freshmen sophomores when I was a junior senior I was able to help them out we would take trips up to Wichita you know help them out through that program does that program even go no I was thinking about for my son yeah oh yeah when Caleb Stevens was here the young man who spoke at Convo and and came to premier premier his documentary a few weeks ago I was like Caleb where were you when my son was here because he could have used the big brother type like you because his walk was so similar yeah and you know I just I wish I wish that and I you know sometimes it's based on who's here that things get to go but I'm gonna I'm gonna preview some some of my work so some people know this but it's been announced that prologue day but President Gehring reached out to me last summer to ask if I would assume the role of the diversity equity and inclusion VP which I will be as of July 1 I'll be the vice president of culture and belonging at Bethel and I'm really excited about that and retention is one of the things that I'm thinking a lot about I'm thinking a lot about what it takes to when when our students of color get in on a bill of goods like it might be sports related or related to some particular thing and it doesn't work what is it that we can do to help these students stay here beyond that thing knowing that the degree in and of itself is a hard hard one if you transfer to another institution you will not I don't know too many people who finish in four years who go to another institution myself included and so it is a hard-fought thing when you stay because it means you know you're gonna have to go through some things but my son what finished in four years and I I in he too wanted to transfer and thing that stopped him with Kovac if I want to go somewhere and sit it out and be in a be I'm still be at home so why bother today so he's gay but he was grateful that he stayed too because things got much better for him I know that freshmen and seniors freshmen and sophomores you're still getting to know the campus you're still getting to know that the landscape and so it's easy to kind of take that exit but junior senior you find your you find your way you find your niche you find your people and then it becomes sweeter and that's across the board that's that's not even race related that's just how it is to get in your major yeah but I think it adds an extra weight when you are a student of color and you are out of your depth it probably does feel easier to go somewhere else where I can find more people like me I can but you're gonna go find some other people like you but they're gonna already be light years ahead of you because they've already figured out the landscape there and you gonna have to learn it all over again and then you're gonna also have to be gonna be a little behind so I one of the things that one of my colleagues does is she does retreats with students of color and I participated in on those retreats with her with at her institution and I just saw all of the love that they ported to the young ladies that we got to impact and I just thought that's something that is easily replicated here is how can we build a network it's mentoring it's spending time it's brunch like we did the brunch thing after Caleb came when he was like we need to have a brunch here so we can just show people how to be together like we can support each other in our community and and I'm not just saying this is a black thing it could be any any group of students and and it could be a mixture of students of color or it could be I need to be with my own and I get that so all that said I done those are the things that I think about when I walk into this new role that I want to do and I want to I just want students to hang in because it's tough no matter where you go but I think we are small enough that we can impact we have a big impact because we don't have millions we don't have thousands and thousands of students we're trying to do this but we have a we have a number that that is manageable enough that if we get the right people involved we can make a huge impact. I'm thinking about Philadelphia Eagles that we beat last year in the Super Bowl. I just had to get that in. I'm thinking about this one play that they have well they think I figure they call it the butt some play but they push and in doing that I was when you're talking as thinking of the fact you have to really develop a pack and I'm saying a P-A-C-T that when the folk you know when the folk come that we come in saying you know begin you know with the end in mind and so that we're all in this ready to to work with everyone that's that's you know when they first come you know and that's when they come and so you already have this and we're already saying you know we're walking out of here together yeah and we're you know we're all of us you know and who we what we're going to do and and in the way that we're that we're going to do it we don't again like I said with the we were you know the one thing about it okay we were forced to like be in that sense of being together but we still had a lot of folk that were leaving too it was it was too much it was I know I can't they didn't even know they're fighting no you're fighting without and you're fighting with me and then when you when you're doing that okay so let's let make sure that we're all working this together I'm sure no no I'm not I'm not doing this by myself you're not doing this by yourself and they're just saying okay I'm just in this I mean I know I'm stopping was not an option for me yeah and you know next thing you know just a one years this year next year and then next thing you know it's graduation time and you're thinking oh wait a minute I have to go so just to and bring you know we had the minority house and you know and those times you know that's a lot of times of course in the time we used to just when we're coming to party this what we have this going on but just you know just having them you know that time of a let me just say this you know right off the bat you know we're in this together and we're here to help you and what can we do and and and then being able to come and just just talk that was the other thing it was it was a safe place for us just to come and and talk about what was you know okay this is going on I don't know how you how you doing in this class no how are you doing here and sometimes it was it could be the class sometimes it could be in your dorm sometimes you know this but it's coming in and beginning with the end in mind and what can we do you know how can we because we're you know it's all of us it's like I said we and it's all about impact yeah and what we know what what we plan on doing and you know in that because if you're able to do then you're able to stay focused and just sometimes just keep that tonal vision I'm gonna circle us around the last question and I think we touched on that the challenges but what where do we see room for growth in the Bethel College community again speaking on that of where do we go from here and the minute that we get here and you know one thing with us we don't we have to realize how how much we have gone through to get here and you know sometimes for instance if it's if it's sports and we're thinking that okay I'm just here to play then we don't think about the holistic of everything about that because you're not on that field you're not on the court you know all the time that's a season but we've got to get through this whole season and how that season and there are many different you know we got to go through all of the season and so to be able to feel that and understand that and and know that is it's not just okay we're just here for this and and then okay when that's over I don't know what or if it's not happening things are going because you don't understand you and so in that there were a lot of folks that came they had some baggage in coming and it was okay we're we just have you here on the you know you're here on the team and that's what we got you here for so but you know and there's I'm sure Tiara's in too but I'm not on there you know I'm not in here all the time and there you know there's a whole lot and and and I think so you said it gets lonely and it can yeah it can get lonely and so we have to make sure that that we're that we're together and find that and being centered and holding on to you know to that center of that and so we have to make sure that we're we're centering each other and I don't know if this was happening or what is happening now but you know as I say this now and I look back on it I think oh I wasn't praying then but I should have been. One thing I did know was somebody was praying for me and so we also you know again in that let's just come together you know and hey somebody you know look you got somebody that you know I see this I see what you got and we just want to we just want to hold that you know and we all sharpening up you know iron sharpening iron and that's what we do and that's how we do it and how can we like what's happening at your house what's going on and you know back home because you got some stuff going on back home and what's going on back home oh you know I gotta go back and over no some come they already have children or different kind of things like that but what's going on but I think the biggest thing that I see is so I'm on the fly football team and our coach recently left which has kind of put a lot of players in the balance of what do I do now because our coach was kind of like our boy she was a black woman you know she was like a second mom does so one thing that a lot of girls are struggling with is the fact that Bethel doesn't have their major and they came here because of Coach Rupp so now they're like you know what is my purpose here so I think that as far as growing an aspect of education I think that you know we can broaden our scope a little bit it doesn't just have to be because I think one of the girls is a physical therapy oh yeah yeah I think that's strange that they don't have physical therapy here but there's no like track for it yeah so that's one thing and I think another thing is kind of like having people that actually look out for us because I feel like a lot of my teammates and me included wouldn't be in this space where we're like well where I go now if we had people that you know talked to us and cared about us when coach Rupp was here now that she's gone it's kind of like we've had like three talks that like a bunch of different people like we want you to stay here but it was never like we're glad you're here you know so I feel like that's another thing but yeah that's just where we're at right now we are glad you're here and we do want you to stay here. I'll say that personally yeah and whatever I can do to be supportive I want to do that yeah that's real that's real. I'm glad you said it too. As a pastor when you have members and members or new ones that come in or they might be gone and you say wait a minute but you have to give them come to that understanding I wanted to know we're glad you're here because you know we're part of family we're glad that you're here because as we are as we're understanding the mission and as we're understanding what you know what we're trying to do here and as we say we do and we do care as long as folks and even like I said even with our churches even with members I don't want you to I don't know you know anyone to think we're glad you're here because you're a tither you know we're glad you're here because oh wow other you know this you know but you know spirit wise and what what what we see in you and what we want you to have experienced once you have been here and where we're trying to go okay I understand I love that we are threshers and for us to be able to understand that mission of you know why we are and what we're doing and the why we are why we are doing it so in that yeah I can understand again as pastors that leaves that we are assigned our Methodist so we're appointed and then so we and then of course when we've had folk that have joined under this pastor then another pastor comes in well I joined them and I've just but at once we brought all the way in and invested you know and then like I said invested invested invested in the mission you know of here and what we're trying to get to you and what we're trying to bring forth what we see what we're seeing then there we go so like I said to be able to voice that to be able to say well she's what I where do I what do I go now and everything is in bringing for is when we come we're all in this together and and we just your well-being and you know in that I was able to feel that here but I had to fight for it and and I mean it wasn't always it wasn't always good but for the most part I took it on it's okay what are you what am I you know what is my purpose right whatever why here and because it's not by accident that you got here you know because it wasn't okay but then you find out wait a minute like no no no why am I here and and what's what is you know what is my purpose and so again what what then you know and it's hard to see it it's hard to see it now I didn't see it then but Wow when I look back on you know then and where I am today and what all it did that it taught me so we just take everything as that really it was interesting what you said there a little bit too because you said you had to fight for it right like and I'm trying to figure this out like also as a pastor but like just when we're creating these communities or within these communities what is the give-and-take of a community right like I felt like when I was at Bethel it felt like if you didn't adjust to Bethel's way of doing things then like it was gonna show you up and spit you out right like if you weren't going to enjoy that time there but then there are other moments right there are other moments where it felt like Bethel was kind of trying to meet us halfway in some experiences right when we had those conversations with students or you know faculty and staff and I'm just trying to figure out the ebb and flow in that balance and how do we create a more consistent model where yeah there's some adjustments you have to make as a new student anywhere right anytime you go to a new area right there's some adjustments that you have to make but also creating a more hospitable space within like just campus culture right and that comes with you know you know some of the things that you talked about earlier Cheryl with creating mentors and like kind of involving the community because Bethel does one of the beautiful things about Bethel I remember I was actually admissions when the student what I called a student ambassadors but one thing I always tell students and I was giving them tours on campus was yo it's a small place and all of them are like you know I don't want to be in a small place or I want to be in a big place in front of big city I'm like but like the beautiful thing about it is that it does create this like almost familial like culture right like like you I eat dinner at a professor's house like that doesn't happen no okay you think you know WSU right like and so it creates this like familiar cult like familial culture about it and I'm just wondering how can we create that for all students right like that's my experience but I have some friends you know who transfer from Bethel who had a different experience so how can we make that a holistic experience for students as they arrive and so when those sports you know don't go well or your coach you know leaves for whatever reason I mean they have lives to they you know new jobs come up you know that's just a way of life but when those moments do happen you do have a community yeah you feel in place you know I went through four football coaches and so yeah what does it look like to create that holistic familial like place for first the thing that doesn't have to figure out