How to help people say farewell

The speaker reflects on the experience of saying farewell to loved ones, including the recent passing of Tina Turner and parting ways with a group of people they worked closely with. They discuss the concept of Empty Nest Syndrome and how loss can be an opportunity to help others. They offer three ways to make a difference during difficult times: asking questions, listening attentively, and refraining from offering generic condolences. The speaker emphasizes the importance of letting go gracefully and allowing growth and development. They conclude by highlighting the significance of helping others navigate difficult times with interest and concern. Hello, Jamie Deacher and welcome to the Insight Post for the 14th of June, 2023. How to help people say farewell. As a young adult, life was about four weddings and a funeral. Thank you Hugh Grant and others. However, as the years go by, four funerals and a wedding have become the order of the day. Young or old, we frequently say farewell. Only last month it was Tina Turner. Turner was a constant in my life. I recall seeing her at London Olympia on her private dancer tour. Her energy and power were formidable and memorable. Tina Turner was always around on the radio and in our record collections during good times and bad times. She was simply the best part of our lives and her death last month is painful. And only a few days ago, I said farewell to a beautiful group of people, many of whom I met for the first time last week. We worked closely for a week in Lourdes, so splitting up to go our separate ways was difficult and sad. And of course, parents say farewell to their children when they leave home after investing so much love, energy and time in raising them. So, Empty Nest Syndrome results from saying farewell to a way of life, a job, not just the children. But loss can also be an opportunity to use your experience and skills to help others navigate a difficult time. Here are three ways to make a difference when life is bleak for others. Ask, listen and don't tell. You know what it is like to have people pushing platitudes at you when all you want to do is talk about your loss, whether it be your long-term partner, a pet or a friend. So instead, ask questions and listen with all your heart. Don't start with, I am sorry. You probably have a letter or email after losing someone that begins with, I am sorry for your loss. How did you feel? Presumably indifferent at least and possibly upset and even angry. Why? Because your correspondent has focused on their feelings, not yours. What do the words, I am sorry, really signify? How about, I am feeling pain because you are feeling pain and I wish it would go away. Instead, you might begin by saying, John was a wonderful person. I found him to be so kind and fun. Could you help them let go? In her kindred letter of 17th May, Susan Cain writes, to let your children go is the ultimate act of love because it's not easy and because their very selves depend on it. That's nature's give and take. They can't grow strong unless you pour love into them and they can't grow strong unless you let them go when the time comes. Yes, it may be sad and painful but you must let go at some point. Letting go with grace and acceptance is far more affirming than clinging on and preventing growth and development. And how did I say farewell to my friends and love? Well, very simply, it was wonderful working with you. We made a real difference, didn't we? You can make a difference by helping others navigate a difficult time with interest and concern and showing the way forward.