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Talk: 20100224-Larry_Rosenberg-IMSRC-the_four_noble_truths_a_vehicle_for_self_discovery_part_iii-8336 Leandra Tejedor.jsonw Start_time: 00:46:44 Display_question: When I notice a feeling of anxiety, or fear arise, how do I fix it, or get rid of it? Keyword_search: fear, anxiety, awareness, mindfulness, seeing energy, grasping, pushing away, Monopoly, allow, intimate, science, observe, mirror, non-judgmental, detachment, breath, metta, self, attachment, Zen magazine, cartoon, Zen monk, Japanese, four noble truths, Jack Kornfield, Trungpa Rinpoche-Tibetan llama, dead, Bahamas, Tibetan, Yiddish, tchotchkes, blessing, protection cord Question_content: Questioner: So, this one part I still don’t…well there are a lot of parts I don't get… but one thing I'm not understanding is, if I look at what I'm feeling, I'm feeling anxious, or I'm afraid of something or irritated or whatever. You see something in yourself, like fear, anxiety. I'm not understanding then how you fix it. Like to deal with it once it's there. I understand if you made wrong decisions. That's one thing. But if it's like a feeling… Larry: Yes. What does fix it mean to you? Questioner: Like get rid of it. Larry: Next. We're learning how to… both are you. In other words, the anxiety. It's sort of, think of you, taking care of yourself. First of all, at a certain point, if you keep doing this, if you don't, you'll never find out if what I'm saying is true. Awareness, let's say mindfulness, you hear that word a lot, right? You've certainly heard it. It's not just a word. It's seeing energy. It's a very, very subtle energy. The more you use mindfulness, the more subtle, it becomes. The more subtle it becomes, the more powerful it is. And as I mentioned, in one group at least, it can become like a flame. And so, let's say you feel anxiety. Of course you want to get rid of it. Most people, we don't want to feel anxious, frightened, lonely, et cetera. But you've been trying to get rid of it all your life. That is not what we're about here. What we're trying to do is because that hasn't worked. If it worked, why would you even come here? Doesn't work. Break_line: Okay, so to simplify it, typically most of us, either we drown in the anxiety, just lost in it, probably everyone knows that one, or sometimes we deny it, we fight it, we escape from it, et cetera. This is neither, it's neither grasping, or pushing away. It's becoming aware of it. You said it. But you see in your question, what is implied there is that… you just look at it? How do you fix it? You haven't experienced the power of seeing yet. Now, if you now hear that, and then you go home, he's right. I'm going to see right into that anxiety, sort of like (duh da duh da) gotcha! It's not a video game. In fact, if you try to fix it, you're just going to make it worse. Do you know the game Monopoly? Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. So, the awareness is, non-judgmental. It's not using anything as a means to an end. You're not trying to get rid of it. You're trying to get to allow it, to become intimate with it, to enter into communion with it, to allow it to flower, but to be right there with it, with awareness. Break_line: Now, I'm just going to put this into words. If you try it, I hope you find that what I'm saying, bears some resemblance to the truth. The awareness, at a certain point, allows the anxiety to expend itself, its energy. So, seeing is energy. It touches anxiety, which is energy. Not the word, and not the whole story. He said, she said, and my mommy dropped me on my head. It's just what's there. And the seeing energy, touches the anxiety energy, and it's extraordinary. Something happens. It's in science, the observer affects what you observe, and so mindfulness has a very beneficial effect in life. But if you're trying to use mindfulness to get rid of it, that's not mindfulness. Mindfulness is mirror like. It's non-judgmental. It's nonreactive. It's not interpreting, it's not translating, it's not explaining, it's not analyzing. These are all things that we've all had a fair amount of practice doing. It's not chronic introspection. We all know how to do that. It's just simply seeing, allowing it in. It's not detachment. It's opening up to… fully receiving it as it is, and let it do, what it can do. Break_line: Now, you're new to the practice, I remember. Okay, and maybe your awareness is not up to every moment, when the anxiety may be so powerful, it's like a tidal wave and little tiny mindfulness looks at it, and is swept away. Then do more work with breath. Or there are other practices like metta, more, and more, every moment of mindfulness, off, and on the cushion, is changing the quality of mind, that you have available to use, in living. But the day will come, if you do this, and it doesn't come, if you don't do it, where the quality of the seeing becomes steady, strong, and it can become even unwavering. If you don't like the image of a fire, throw it out. And so, it's steadier than what comes in front of it. So, anxiety comes in. You fully feel it, and it tells its story, not in words. And then it's as if the energy starts to leave it, and energy that is held captive, in that attachment, is now released. And now it's available to you, before it's been a weight. It even feels like sometimes dropping it, release, extinguish. It feels like you're whoa. I've been carrying something. Break_line: Now finally, it's all about self. I'm going to end here, because it's 10:30. When I was in Japan, there was a Zen magazine, and I had to have this translated because it's in Japanese. And this is the root, of what the whole four noble truth are about, this cartoon. Okay, so it has this Zen monk, and he's walking on the beach, barefoot, and he's carrying this huge sack on his back. He's bent over, and his footsteps are like trenches in the beach, and he's walking, and he's carrying this sack, on the back. And what the sack says is me. So, what you're getting free of is yourself. So, stop it. Break_line: Postscript… many years ago Jack Kornfield, who many of you know, or if you read his books, he told this to me; Trungpa Rinpoche, was a Tibetan llama, who was very prominent at the time. He's dead now. By the way. I say dead, not passed away, because he's dead. Passed away, sounds like well, he just went on a holiday somewhere. He's at a resort, in the Bahamas. He just passed. He's dead. Okay, so have you ever seen people have gone to Tibetan scenes, often they have like, an orange cord string. You will if you stay in this scene. You see a lot of in Yiddish, it's called tchotchkes, you know, sort of like…., you know, little things, that's about blessings. Okay, so it's an orange string, somewhere around the neck with this one. So Trungpa Rinpoche was giving everyone who was in at this retreat, at the end of it, a string, probably you'd like us more if we could give you one. But at any rate, so it's called a protective cord. So, Jack says, “Trungpa what is it protecting us from?” It was an honest question. This was easily 30 years ago, more. And Trungpa looked, and he said, protecting yourself from? From yourself, of course. So, you're learning how to take better care of yourself. End_time: 00:54:18
