Q3-19990324-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-shining_the_light_of_death_on_life_part_7-43039 Leandra Tejedor

Talk: 19990324-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-shining_the_light_of_death_on_life_part_7-43039 Leandra Tejedor.json Start_time: 01:07:58 Display_question: Would you speak about the many deaths that we experience as we go through our lives? Keyword_search: death, pain, suffering, Buddha, All American Athlete, senior citizen, chronological age, psychological age, Krishnamurti, the T, yoga, meditator, mother, Tao Te Ching, soft and supple mind, aging, energy, grief, respect, self-pity, identify, denial, Bermuda shorts, suffering, attachment, wisdom, fufilling Question_content: Questioner: Would you speak about the many deaths that we experience as we go through our lives. Larry: Yes. Questioner (inaudible)But I have begun to realize the death of aspects of myself in my life. Larry: Yes. Questioner: And I am wondering if that can also be also applied to that. Larry: Yes, absolutely. For example. Questioner: And pain is in there too. Larry: Yes. The reason you're asking the question is because there's some suffering involved. The reason the Buddha’s teaching exists, is because there's suffering involved. So yes, it is designed to help you, in the following way. As we age…let's say you have your image of yourself, and I went into this last week, at my own expense. Not last week, last time. Whenever that was, of someone getting up, and giving me a seat on the T. Okay. You remember? And it was a rite of passage for me. Suddenly I went from being, I don't know, an all-American athlete, or something, to a senior citizen. Just sort of like just barely feeling my way through life. Pop, old timer. So, it was a shock because I didn't know I had an image of myself. I know my age, and I'll be happy to tell you what it is, but I didn't know I had an image of myself as the kind of youthful for my because I do yoga, and I'm a meditator, and I eat organic vegetables, so I'm in pretty good shape. My chronological age may be whatever you think it is, I'm not going to tell unless you want me to. 66. But your psychological age, that's up to you. Your mind makes up. Break_line: My mother, she was 90, and I referred to her as being 90. She nearly killed me. And my mother is an incredibly loving person. She was never mean to me, in my entire life. This was towards the end. She called me up and she said, don't ever refer to my age again as 90. I said, okay, how about if we when your age is necessary, I'll say 39. You know, so she said, okay. You know, sort of like, so it doesn't end. It just goes on, and on, and on. So that image, it's a collision course, and blah, blah, blah. Break_line: And I don't want to exaggerate how bad it was. It wasn't that bad. And then you recover, and then you live your life. But there are other things that happen. I think that's what you're getting at, that are poignant. As we age, we lose certain capacities, certain kinds of sensitivity. People relate to us differently. We're treated differently on the job, or we have no job, we retire, or suddenly many things that used to give us pleasure, don't anymore. We don't digest our food as well. We don't enjoy the taste as well. Hey, let's go over... and we don't want to go to a party. You become a little bit more withdrawn. You want to go to the movies less, whatever it is. And there's a certain poignancy, and there's a bit of grieving. It is a death. You're quite right. I think it's a good word for it. And it’s sort of an old way of being that falls away. It's already gone, but you haven't caught up to it. So, there's some identification with it. Break_line: And this is what the Buddha meant. Now that Tao Te Ching quote, the body has to get stiffer. Yeah, great. While those who are soft therefore, those who are stiff, and rigid become disciples of death. While those who are soft and yielding become disciples of life. The hard, and stiff break the soft, and supple triumph. Break_line: Put in this language, what we're learning is, can the mind become soft, and supple? Pliable, flexible, fresh. Young Krishnamurti, at 90, was fresh as a daisy. His body was old at 90. He obviously had the body of a 90-year-old. But once he would start talking about these things and listening to you, you couldn't keep up with him. It was just tremendous energy. But how do you get there? You would have to practice. It's not to deny the loss, or give yourself a pep talk, and oh, it doesn't matter, aging is natural, and everyone goes through it, and blah, blah, blah. It's that you feel the loss, and you practice with it. It's like the glum question. So that, good practice would be experiencing, it's a bit of grieving, isn't it? Now, if you can feel that, and practice with it, in the way in which… do you have a practice? Do you practice? Oh, I see. Okay. There's a limit to what I can convey to you. Questioner (inaudible)I would say… Larry: Okay, let me see if I can relate to that, it isn't so important. Let's say what comes up is that, suddenly you can't do something that you used to, or you have no interest, and you feel like something's been taken away from you, or you feel a lack of respect, in a certain way, others towards you. And then you see you start to have it towards yourself. You don't feel as valuable, or whatever it is. Now, typically we don't like to feel that way. What do most people do? They either identify with it, and then they drown in it. They go into self-pity, and their mind becomes stiff, and old, because the body has… they're disappointed, hurt, because they still are fight. They're comparing. They still want to be a teeny bopper. And there's no way you can do that, no matter how many what, liposuctions, or whatever it is you take. Break_line: So, one extreme is you identify with it, and then you feel terrible about yourself. The other is denial. Oh, I don't care, everything is fine. And then you have sort of what used to be called, an old fool. People prancing around in Bermuda shorts and as if they're really trying to do youthful things, but in a way that it sort of doesn't work. And you feel badly for them, because they're trying to appear… something that is… instead of finding some other useful way of being their age, that has dignity, and respect, it can actually be quite fulfilling. So, the practice is neither. It's not denying it, nor is it getting lost in it, but it's actually being aware of it. And if you don't have a practice, the word is just going to be a word. The attention is… there's a hurt there, right there. There's a certain amount of hurt when that happens. That hurt is an event. It's energy in the body. It can be observed, experienced directly, without judgment. And if you do that, it starts to lose its power. It falls away. Break_line: And then little by little, your relieved. The grieving is over. And then of course, you use your wisdom, to find other ways to use the time, that you have on the planet, that are fulfilling. You learn some new things. If you hold yourself to a standard, that can't be realized, it's a setup, for feeling tremendous suffering. And that's what I meant. It's not all bad news. There's some other things that can replace what you've lost. But if you're attached to what you've lost, and you don't know how to practice with it, it's going to weigh you down. And if you do that with a number of different things, the mind will become stiff, as in this. Do at least the words make sense? Questioner: Yes, Thank you Larry: Oh, good. Yeah. End_time: 01:16:15