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Talk: 19980603-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-shining_the_light_of_death_on_life_part_1-43031 Leandra Tejedor.json Start_time: 01:14:10 Display_question: In my role in the medical field, I struggle with what I have to do professionally versus what I would want for myself. How do I reconcile with this? Keyword_search: medical field, life, death, geriatiric patients, Buddhist, Buddha, pro-life, aging, sickness, death, suffering, free Question_content: Questioner: I went into the medical field, and when I chose my profession, I chose to work in something that wouldn’t put me directly in with life and death. And it just so happens that the nature of my profession kind of has gotten into where I am dealing with that. Larry: Wait, why would you go into the medical profession if you don't want to deal with life and death? Questioner: Well, actually I was deeply involved with tha.t Larry: I see. Okay. I needed to know that. Yeah. Questioner: The environment I am in now, I am working primarily with geriatric patients who have swallowing problems, and you have to recommend when you can’t eat at all, and have a g-tube to live. And professionally, I have to give people, this is what it's going to deal with, or not, or this could happen when you get sick. Whereas personally, my choice might be very different, and I constantly find myself in conflict with those two things. Larry: Wait you going too fast for me? What might your choice be? Questioner: If I were 90 years old, and if I didn't stop eating, or if I had to eat baby food to live, I would choose not to do that. Larry: Okay. Questioner: And I find that when people are 90, other people are making that decision for you. People are living, but not sitting in a chair, or not talking, and attuning. Larry: Okay. Questioner: I just don't know how to find peace with myself, in terms of recommending professionally what I need to do, versus what personally I am feeling. Larry: Okay, I think there are a number of issues here mixed in together. One is that, that is… I understand people who work in the medical field. What choices are you...what choices do you have? I mean, you could change your work, or you could get used to the fact that some of it is even law. So, this is a society you live in. Or you could become like Dr. What's his name, who just Dr. Death, and you want to die. Fine, I'll help you. Break_line: The Buddhist way is similar to all the other major religions, really. It's not pro suicide, it's pro-life, right to the end. There are times, although this gets to be interpretive, because these new machines now, there's nothing in the Buddha’s time to talk about that, but if the person is really brain dead, then more recent Buddhist thinking is, that you don't have to keep the life support system going. But that's going to be a matter…but let's get to you. See, because how does this have to do with what we've been talking about tonight? Have to do with you? And I mainly want to get back to something you just included as an aside, which is, I picked work that wouldn't have to do with life or death. It sounded like you were motivated for that. Right? Questioner: Yeah. I didn’t want to have someone else’s life in my hands. Larry: Okay. And it looked like you couldn't escape it. Here it is, right in your face. So, the practice would be to work with the way it is for you. Now, there are a couple of things mixed in here. One is your conflict between what you would tell the person, and what you feel that you must tell them professionally. Now, I don't know if that's true. It may be that maybe you're holding yourself to a standard, maybe it's not. Well, probably you can't tell people, oh, just stop eating, and just forget about it. Don't listen to what these doctors, they're a bunch of fools. We're all just giving party line, and just do whatever you want to do. Probably you can't say that. But the part that we're getting at tonight is, are they pushing a button in you, reminding you of your own aging, sickness and death? Questioner: Probably. It’s because I’m thinking I would not want to be sitting in that chair. That’s what I’m… Larry: But what do you feel? Do you ever feel uncomfortable, just to the fact that they are in that state? Forget about this other issue. I know they're all mixed in together, Questioner: I guess I am feeling, I would not want to be in that state. Larry: But has it reminded you that you will be in that state or something like it. Questioner: Yes Larry: Okay, now we're cooking. Questioner: I hope I die before I get to that state. Larry: Okay, it's a free country. Why not die now? See, die to that. That’s what the dharma…the teaching…the mind that's preoccupied with self-continuity forever, is the one that's afraid of all this. The mind that's obsessed with being healthy, the mind that's obsessed with always being young. We all have it. Maybe some of you don't, but I know I do. Why not free yourself now, of that? You see, you may as well be one of those people, because the truth is, as I look at you, you're pretty young, okay? I mean, it doesn't look like someone has to feed you right now, okay? But if this is going on in your mind, you're doing it to yourself, so that your mind is making up a future, where in it you're already decrepit, old, and struggling with this. And maybe you have 40 years, maybe it'll happen, maybe it won't. But begin to see that this apprehension, this kind of suffering, is based on the vexation in the mind. Do you see what I’m getting at? Questioner: (inaudible) Larry: But it's imagination. It's you imagining how you're going to be when you're 90 or you're 88. You may not live that long. You may live longer. You may not have those problems. So, in the meantime, so you're getting hit twice. You're suffering now while you're a very young person. And then when you really get to be that age, then you're going to get wham a second time. Questioner: (inaudible) Larry: What? Questioner: (inaudible) Larry: Okay, your mind is free. Yeah. Questioner: That’s very helpful. End_time: 01:20:32
