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Talk: 19830724-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-awakening_intelligence-1556 Leandra Tejedor Start_time: 00:35:49 Display_question: How do I reconcile with becoming aware of my habit of trying to please? Keyword_search: approval, action, jewel, painful, perception, revelation, vulnerability, direct attention, tool, habit, intelligence, meditation, listening Question_content: Questioner: I realized how much I need approval, you know, in the course of sitting. I have a feeling that every action is…there’s just a fraction of a moment hesitation to make sure that um I please with this, with my approach. And I'm like dying to please at all times. And this becomes so painful to me. It colors everything I do you know. I feel so invalid. Uh and what you are saying tonight about if your perception is clear, it brings the clear action of itself. This is a big revelation tool because I think something has to come together to get adjusted here because I can't stand it anymore. Larry: Can you begin to stand that can’t standedness? Questioner: Can’t stand what? Larry: Can’t standedness. Because I think you have to start where you are. That's the jewel for you. That's the jewel. Questioner: The jewel yes. Larry: Not what it might lead to. Questioner: I guess I can’t. Not what? Larry: Not what it might lead to. Which would just be an idea. Questioner: Aha. Larry: That's why it's a state of vulnerability. Questioner: Yes. Larry: Inquiring into the cost of this pleasing others. I think it sounds like you're almost at the end of your rope with it? Questioner: Yeah. Larry: So it's time for it to-like a ripe proof for it to just fall away. In other words, enough already! Okay but many people go through frustrating experiences over, and over, and over, and over, and over again, and can speak quite intelligently, how they do that. Over, and over, and over, and over again. What I sense the difference is, is that we have a tool. We're beginning to develop a tool, and that tool is this direct attention. Otherwise, it’s we do the act, habitually. Then we see it, we suffer. And then there's a bit of relief, by talking about it. A catharsis, to a priest, to a psychotherapist, or whoever, but it doesn't go deep enough. And so then it starts again, over, and over, and over. But a genuine being fed up with it, I think, is a huge help. But then it can't be punitive. In other words, you have to really get soft with it the next time it comes up. Like right now. Is that process going on right now? Any attempt to please? Questioner: No! Larry: Good. Questioner: No I wasn’t aware of it, no. I’m just listening. Larry: That's it. Just listening. End_time: 00:39:10
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