Tribute to Phil 2❤️

This episode of the Little Leg Gems podcast tells the story of a horse named Phil. Phil had a difficult life, facing failed surgeries and neglect. However, he was eventually rescued by a group of dedicated horse people who saved his life through a risky tracheotomy surgery. Phil thrived at a lesson barn, but it was later determined that he needed specialized care. One of the students who had fallen in love with him was gifted Phil and he was sent to a farm for his continued care. Hi everyone, welcome back to the Little Leg Gems podcast, I'm Jen Luciana, I'm so glad you're here today. Today we're going to share a story of a horse. His name is Phil, his nickname was the champion and he had a really interesting, incredible story and I think this will resonate with anybody who's lost a pet or had to say goodbye to a pet or even a loved one, whether it's human or animal, it doesn't make any difference. But today's podcast is really a tribute to this particular horse and the people who loved him. Okay? So it's an interesting story and I hope you'll stay with me for it. There's an old saying that goes, it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all and while I agree with that general sentiment of that statement, the reality of it is that the lost part, you know, having somebody pass away can be truly devastating and you guys know I'm a medium, I'm an animal communicator, you know the work that I do, so I deal with this every day, I help people through this situation by connecting with their loved ones that have passed. I do this every day, all day long, okay? But you know, losing a loved one can, through a passing, can leave us feeling depressed, heartbroken, stuck, angry and unfocused and maybe, maybe all of the above, you know? And today I'm going to share a story with you about someone who had to say goodbye to their horse. He was one of the most resilient and dignified horses one could ever meet and like I said, his name was Phil, his nickname was the Champion and today's episode is a tribute to him and the incredible impact he left on the lives of all who knew and loved him, okay? So I'm going to give you a little bit of a background on him first. Phil was an off-the-track thoroughbred, okay? And for those who don't know much about horses, thoroughbreds are known for their speed and their strength. They are very athletic and they're usually kind of long and lean and well-muscled. They have like a long neck and long legs and are considered what's called warm-blooded, which basically means they have kind of a spirited personality. Those in the horse world will say they're hot, you know? Phil was all of those things. He was also what's called a bay and a bay is a description of his color, which means he was kind of a dark reddish brown and he had a black mane and a tail and his tail was black also and he had a short kind of little white sock on his left hind leg and a small white splash on the tip of his nose. He was what's called 16.1 hands tall. So I'll explain. Horses are measured in what's called hands, which is a measurement about four inches long and the way horse's height is measured, it's from the ground up to what's called their withers, which is basically the highest point of their back. It's in between their shoulder blades. So Phil was 16.1 of these hands in height from the ground up to his withers and so he wasn't gigantic, but he certainly was tall and in the eyes of his owner, he was just perfect, just perfect. He was well composed. You know, he had a good what they call composition, meaning he was proportionate and he was just perfect. So unfortunately, Phil had been failed by humans many times in his life. While he was at the racetrack, he wasn't performing to the best of his ability and they found out that he had a common issue in his throat. So sometimes racehorses have in their airway, they have an extra little flap of skin and I'm sorry for the noise in the background. If you can hear that, I apologize. I have my windows open today, lawnmowers and airplanes flying overhead. So sometimes racehorses have this little extra flap of skin in their windpipe that restricts their airways so that they don't breathe to their full capacity. So they undergo a procedure called a tieback procedure where they go in and they take that little extra flap of skin and they literally suture it to the back of the throat so their airway is opened up and they can breathe better. And you know, in racing, they want them to breathe better so they can perform better. Right. Don't get me started with horse racing. That's all I'm going to say. But this is the reality of what happens. And this is what happened with this horse, Phil. So now Phil was rescued from this situation, but unbeknownst to the people who rescued him, Phil had actually had two of these tieback procedures and both of them were botched. I don't know why or how, but they were botched. So he was sent from the track to a farm where I think this woman had good intentions, but she really was not experienced. And he was aspirating because of what they had done to his throat. He was aspirating food. It was going into his lungs and it was coming out of his nose. He wasn't eating properly and he was skinny. And anyway, it was a bad situation. Now, there was a horseback riding school not far from this farm. And he was sent from the farm to the horseback riding school where he was eventually sold as a lesson horse. So he was going to be used in the lesson program. Fortunately for Phil, the people who were running that program were exceptional horse people. And they realized that this horse was sick. Like he was not well. And the woman who sold him just wasn't caring for him properly, even though I think she maybe tried. He was not well. This horse was not doing well. And, you know, he'd kind of been left out in the field with this aspirating food issue. And it was really not a good situation. So when he arrived at this this horseback riding barn, he was really skinny. And thankfully, the people there and I will say their names because they are the real heroes of this story. Let me just say that. Make no doubt, make no doubt about it. The real heroes of this story, aside from Phil, are three people. Dina Serace, formerly Dina Fasano, sorry Dina, Sara Scamenti, and whose name is Sara Scamenti-Zeus, and Audrey Feldman. These are all incredible, incredible horsewomen and their vet, Erica, who looked at this horse and said, we've got to do something here. They didn't know that he had had these botched tieback procedures. They didn't know that about him. So Erica took a good look at him and said, you know, she scoped his throat and she said, the only way that you're going to be able to save this horse and save his life is to do an open tracheotomy. He's going to have he's going to end up with a big hole in his neck, like a two inch hole in his neck. He'll live, he'll be fine. But this is the only way you're going to, this horse is going to survive. So the ladies that I mentioned earlier decided, OK, this is, we're going to take a chance. And this is a very risky procedure, but we think he's worth it. So there's also a young boy whose name escapes me. I don't know this gentleman, this young boy's name, but he did a lot of fundraising to help pay for this surgical procedure. I mean, anybody who owns a horse knows that absolutely nothing is cheap when it comes to horses, especially not surgery. So thankfully, Dina, Sarah, Audrey and the vet were all incredible and smart and took a chance on him and they were capable. And he had this surgery and the surgery saved his life. I mean, he would not be living without them. So they are the real heroes here. And there is another person who will be named in the future, a little later on in this podcast. I'm going to talk about her as well. And she also helped in a huge way. So he ended up with an open tracheotomy hole in his throat, but he really thrived at this lesson barn. He became one of the most beloved horses in the barn. His strength returned, his belly filled out, and he finally started to receive the love and attention that he deserved. Right. I mean, let's face it, the people at the track threw him away because he wasn't performing. And he had these two surgeries, which cost a lot of money. And if a horse is not running well, a horse is not winning and they're not making any money. Right. That's all these people do with these horses is they're used to make money. So he was thrown away and then he ended up in the hands of this well-intended woman, but who didn't know what the hell she was doing. So the track people failed him and this other person failed him. Thankfully, he ended up at this lesson barn. But so you fast forward a few years and he's beloved. But unfortunately, it became clear that the schooling environment really wasn't the right place for him. Now, one of the students who had fallen madly in love with him, not for nothing, as soon as she saw him, she was one of the consistent riders at the barn. She fell madly in love with him as soon as she saw him. She nearly tripped over herself with excitement when Audrey offered to gift Phil to her. So they realized that Phil was not the right environment for him for health reasons. But, you know, he's not the type of horse you can just. Sell to anybody or retire to a sanctuary because he needed a lot of care because of this open hole, it left him open to infections and it had to be cleaned. And, you know, he was a quote special needs horse. OK, so one of the students fell in love with him and Audrey said, I'll give him to you. And I can tell you right now, she's never imagined that he could one day one day be hers. And, you know, she was like, oh, my God, without hesitation, she said, absolutely. Yes, thank you. Holy cow. Like, wow. So because Phil did have this open hole in his neck and the new owner, this this girl who was at the school, this woman, I should say, she was very inexperienced, like she had never owned a horse before. So, you know, gifting the horse came with the condition that everybody would kind of be involved in his care and upkeep, but that they would send him from the lesson barn to a farm upstate that was run by a woman that Dina had known for a long time and he needed, you know, extra care and attention. And they thought that it would be a good fit with this woman whose name begins with the letter M. So to make a long story short, it was not a good fit at all. This woman, M, was a far cry from the horse woman that Dina once knew. I mean, let's face it, these women who had rescued him would never in a million years put him in the hands intentionally of somebody who they thought wasn't going to take care of him. They would never do that. Unfortunately, M was a train wreck. She was negligent. She was arrogant. She was horrible. She had over 25 horses on her property, all of which their owners were paying her to board and take care of their horses. And she was starving. All of the horses. She, I mean, the list of things that this woman did was shameful, to be kind. Anyway, Phil's owner was visiting this farm regularly and became increasingly wary of his appearance because he was rapidly losing weight. And it was just a horrific situation. So his owner took photographs and documented everything. She brought somebody else up there to witness, you know, as a witness to what was going on. And thankfully managed to get him along with a few of the other horses out of that hellhole. Now, just a little FYI, and you guys know I don't wish bad things on people. I don't. I leave it up to the universe. Or if somebody really, really deserves something bad, I say thank you, God, for giving them exactly what they deserve. That's my take on everything. But I'm not going to to pass through this without saying that as what I consider a wonderful side note, this woman has since been kicked in the face by a pony. No joke. Her husband left her. She was admitted to a psychiatric hospital and she lost her farm. So just as a little FYI, you know, may the good Lord keep her out of the path of those who love animals. And just so you know, God doesn't take a five minute bathroom break. So be careful what you do in this world. Anyway, like I said, I don't wish bad things on people, but thank you, universe, for giving this person what they deserve. Moving on. So Phil managed to find his way, speaking of the good Lord, to Ripton Farm in Shelton, Connecticut. And this is where the other hero of the story comes in. Her name is Andrea DeMarco, and she's incredible. She's an incredible human being. She knows everything that you want to know about horses. She's old school and new school combined. And she takes care of all kinds of animals. She rescues animals. And Phil fell into her lap, thank God. So she not only took Phil under her wing, but she took his owner, this inexperienced, well-intended good person who's friends with Dina and Sarah and Audrey and all that, but took her under his wing, too. So not only did she take good care of Phil, but she was teaching the owner how to take good care of Phil. So for two years, Phil thrived. He was able to eat as much as he wanted. He could run freely whenever he wanted. He had friends. He had girlfriends. He was loved. They did pastry day once a week where he would get apple turnovers. He had everything, attention, and most importantly, he had somebody who knew exactly how to care for him, who was teaching its owner how to care for him, and who did it with pride. And Ripton Farm was simply heaven. It was just exactly what he needed, and it was exactly what he deserved and what everybody wanted for him in the first place. So Phil finally had the life that he deserved. After all the people who failed this horse, it was Dina, Sarah, Audrey, Andrea, and his new owner that came through for him finally. And he got all of this good, positive energy. So now, unfortunately, in 2019, Phil met with a tragedy that took his life and the lives of two other horses. It was tragic. It was an accident, but it really left everyone reeling. And I will just say to honor them, the two other horses that passed away in the same vein, one was Dan and one was Cooper. So RIP Dan and Cooper, we love you and hopefully you're running free in pastures far beyond. So Phil really did leave a permanent mark on the hearts of everyone that met him. He was flat out gorgeous. He was a real looker. His personality was that of a distinguished gentleman mixed with a little bit of college frat boy. He was patient, he was intelligent, and he was funny. He was resilient and loving and stoic and strong and perfect. And yes, he was perfect. And I can say that because Phil was my horse. I was the one who fell madly in love with him. I was the girl who couldn't believe her luck when Audrey said, I will give him to you. I was the one who loved him beyond measure and who had the privilege of calling him mine. He was my horse and he was perfect. Sorry, I knew I wasn't gonna be able to get through this without crying. And I miss him every single day. And I'm very, I'm very, very fortunate that I am a medium. And I can talk to him when I want to. So, by the way, if I do a reading for you, where I'm speaking to your loved one who's deceased, I promise, I promise, I promise that I understand your pain, your grief, your tears, your loss. I feel it in my soul just like you do. It's not easy to lose a pet and it's not easy to lose a loved one. My only regret in this life is that Phil didn't get more time. He didn't get more of the amazing life that he had at Ripton Farm. He didn't get it. But I do know he knew unconditional love. Finally, he was happy. He was fat and almost feral. He had a herd of horses that were his friends. He had a girlfriend. She's beautiful. Her name is Jeannie. Actually, he had two girlfriends. One of them was Shandy, but he was a little fickle. So some days it was Shandy and some days it was Jeannie. But he had Jeter the donkey who he was friends with. He was friends with an emu named Acme. He got love and attention and everything in this life that he deserved. Thanks to all the aforementioned people that this horse was finally living the life that he deserved. I would like to take a little bit of time now if you'll humor me. I want to just read some of the things that people have said about Phil. The first one is from my friend Mandy. She had a horse. Her horse was Shandy and she was up at Ripton Farm when Phil arrived. So this is what my friend Mandy had to say about Phil. And there's no way I'm going to get through any of this without crying. So just bear with me, please. This is what Mandy had to say. She said, there aren't many times when a man takes your breath away, LOL. She said, I mean that like love at first sight. I need to meet that man kind of moment. And she said, that's how I felt about Phil. I didn't know Jen. I didn't know Phil, but I saw him and fell in love. He did have that way about him just as an FYI. He was really handsome. I think anyway, Mandy too. She said, once I got really close, I noticed the hole in his neck and Andrea told me his story and all about Jen. And I just cried. I held it back the best I could, but I fell in love with his strength and the fight he had in him. He was and is one of the purest souls I have ever met. There's a picture of me petting him that I posted and said, this boy just stole a piece of my heart and it's true. I loved looking in his eyes and really feeling the good in him with just eye contact. I always told his mom how much I love him and I was definitely jealous that I was never able to ride him. Meantime, she never asked, Mandy, you know, in a million, in a million years, I would never say no. She was trying to be respectful, but if she had asked, of course I would have said, yeah, she's a lovely human and a wonderful rider. And I know how much she loved him. Sorry, sorry for the sniffles. I always told his mom how much I love him and I was definitely jealous that I was never able to ride him because I wanted to so bad, but it wasn't my place, so I never even asked. Ha, the truth is out now. Rest in peace, Phil. You are forever loved and geez, even now I'm shedding a tear. She goes, man, I loved your horse. And she was, when she texted me, she said, I love you too. She was, when she texted me that she goes, man, I'm all teary eyed now. Okay. So I did get a little note from Dina. Um, Sarah, Sarah just had a, um, a new baby. She's swamped. So, um, I know how much I'm going to speak on Sarah's behalf. I know how much she loved Phil and just how much, how much risk she took and how much she believed in him and how much she cared for him. So, um, there's no doubt in my mind that Sarah would be speaking on his behalf in a positive way. Okay. So, um, but I did speak to Sarah cause I wanted to make sure that I got the story correct from the very beginning, you know, cause I came in kind of halfway through the story. I wanted to make sure. So Sarah, thank you for, for clarifying his story so that it can be historically accurate. So this is what Dina had to say. So it was a very proud horse and this is so true. He never wanted to be viewed as disabled. Um, she did talk about, so Phil had this little quirk. Um, we used to joke and it was called the Phil side eye. He used to give us the side eye. He was really smart, but he was kind of funny, you know, and he was nobody's fool. Take, make no mistake about it. Phil was nobody's fool. And when you were acting like one, he would give you the side eye. And so Dina said, and his side eye, it was just the best. I wish I could send the pictures, excuse my sniffling, that, um, Dina sent of Phil. I mean, I don't know how to, I don't, I don't know how to do it with the pic. I'll post them on my Instagram page. How's that? So you guys can go to, at the real Jennifer Luciana and look at the pictures of Phil, I'll post them. Um, so Andrea at Ripton Farm also took the time to really write something. She's an incredible writer and I'm not going to do this justice. Okay. So Andrea, please forgive me, but, um, I'm going to read what she wrote and I'm probably going to keep crying. So there we go. Um, she said, Phil came to me in his later years, a beautiful thoroughbred loved at his barn as a, sorry. Oh God, I told you, Andrea, I don't know if I was going to be able to do this. Yeah, I said shit. Okay. Let's try it again. You can keep that in, keep that in. Phil came to me in his later years, a beautiful thoroughbred loved at his barn as a lesson horse, the finest animals that God's made. He was a grand teacher and made loving horsemen and horsewomen out of countless riders, patient stoics through a tracheostomy and let down by his retirement farm, his, his humans entrusted him to in good faith, removing him quickly when this was discovered, but his world changed back to love when he arrived here with his new owner, Jennifer. She arrived with a smile like it was Christmas day and she had won the lottery. I did, I did win the lottery. I don't know what the hell I did in this world to deserve that horse. Anyway, they had days of trail rides, jumping and working in the ring. Phil bloomed again, giving a proud shake of his head and a little buck after a good effort over a jump that made me grin and Jen hang on a little tighter. Also grinning like a loon. Those were really good times. I miss them so much. His time was not long enough with us, but he had green grass and sunshine, girlfriends and old pals to gather around the hay, to gather around the hay with on long afternoons. I like to think he found true happiness and remembered all his humans everywhere as the kind, as kind and loving and the joy he brought to Jennifer. I'm a tough old farmer, loving all my charges from horses to prairie dogs, but not prone to marry too many spiritual imaginings, Andrea, I'm sorry. I'm just butchering this. Oh God. I'm a tough old farmer, loving all my charges from horses to prairie dogs, but not prone to many spiritual imaginings, but I tell you for a fact, Phil visits me as I trudge about the farm out of the corner of my eye, he'll be standing there at his favorite spot, latching me with his amused, his amused side eye glance as I trip over a chicken. Thank you, Phil. You showed us all that the outside of a horse. It's good for the inside of a human. Sorry. Man. And listen, I know that there are people listening that feel the same way about their beloved pets that have gone. I know there's one in particular who comes to mind and she was the toughest old girl. Her name was Vera. She was a boxer and she came from this loving, loving, loving family. And I know how hard it was for them to say goodbye to her when her time came. I had the honor of working with Vera quite a lot and her lovely family. They welcomed me with open arms and hopefully it made her final days comfortable. But for those of you who are crying along with me, I know you understand, I know you guys get it. There's something about them. They come into our lives, maybe when we don't even realize it, maybe when we don't even know that we need them. And they help us through difficult times, they help us learn life lessons, they help us to open our hearts again to love, they bring humor into our lives. They teach us to be disciplined. They're just gifts. The way I look at animals is that they're little gifts that are sent to us. And hopefully we get the honor and the pleasure of having a long, long, long time with them. Even if we don't, at some point, most of the time, we outlive them and we have to say goodbye to them and it's the worst thing ever. It's just, there's just nothing good about it. And even with humans as well, people come in and out of our lives and eventually, at some point, sometimes we have to say goodbye to them and it's devastating. I just feel like personally, and I'm not here to preach religion and I'm not here to preach, you know, whatever, believe whatever you want to believe. I don't judge, I don't care, you know, I support you in whatever it is you believe, that's your business and I'm here for it. What I believe is that they are gifts that are sent to us from the universe, from God or whoever's pulling the strings. And at some point we have to give that gift back. And I can say unequivocally, if I'm not taking care of Phil or if Andrea DeMarco is not taking care of Phil, then I'm glad that God is or wherever God is. I'm glad that I'm not taking care of Phil. And I know wherever he is, he's probably running free, not having to deal with any of these throat issues or consequences from having an open tracheotomy. I know the fact that he's running free, not having to deal with any of these throat issues or consequences from having an open tracheotomy, I know the fact that he's running free, not having to deal with any of these throat issues or consequences from having an open tracheotomy. His physical body is not part of his existence anymore and his spirit is free. And I know he did leave this earth knowing unconditional love and that he was important and that he was valued. Oh, here we go with the air blowers. Really? This is my pinnacle of the podcast. This is my sensitive moment. It's probably Phil, Phil's probably blowing the air blower saying go over near her window, please. Oh my God. Anyway, he was never one for sentimentality. I will tell you that anytime I got like mushy or like squishy kissy mo mo around this horse, he was like hock-a-loogie on me or something. I mean, he's just, was not sentimental in that way. Never let me get like sappy with him. My guess, my guess is that Phil is directing the gas powered air blower. Anyway, my point is we got to give him back. And if, if I can't take care of him, I'd rather God does it because I know they'll, the universe will take care of those souls better than any of us can. And those are the only ones just like Vera, just like Phil and all the others that are out there, nobody's going to take better care of them than those souls. And at least, at least I can say with the work that I do, I feel like I can use my gift to help other people that carry around this grief and carry around this pain and frankly, we just miss them. We just want them back. I know I can't get my horse back, but I want him back. And I sound like a brat and I don't care. I just want my horse back. And I know you guys do too. You want your cat, you want your dog, you want your guinea pig, your turtle. You just want them back, but that's not the way life is. So we have to move on. You know, I don't ever have to be okay with how Phil passed. In fact, I'm not okay with it, but I know it was an accident and I have to be okay with the fact that it happened and that enables me to open up my heart again and move forward and who knows, maybe in the future I'll have another horse and I'll have Audrey and Dina and Sarah and Andrea to thank for all of the guidance and the care and the knowledge that they've shared with me. They've taught me how to take care of a horse. There's also another person, her name is Courtney. Courtney also taught me an awful lot about how to care for a horse and what to do and how to take care of them. So, you know, who knows, maybe Phil's legacy will be passed on and the next time around for if I decide to get another horse sometime in my life, I'll carry him with me and all the knowledge and the love and the guidance that they gave me. So anyway, if your pet is still here in this physical world, I know you're already going to do it, but give them an extra hug tonight because someday we're going to have to say goodbye. Hopefully not for a very, very long time, but I want to thank everybody who took the time to contribute their words or their information to this tribute to Phil. Andrea did write a beautiful, beautiful poem as a tribute to Phil. It's very long and so Andrea, I'm going to apologize. I'm not going to include it outside from the fact that I will butcher it completely, but I am going to post it. If you don't mind, with your permission, I'm going to post it on my Instagram and my Facebook pages. Okay. I want to thank everybody who stuck it out this long to hear the story of my incredible horse, Phil. He was a blessing to all of us and I hope that this episode hasn't bummed you out. I hope it's inspired you in some way or resonated with you in some way. Hopefully you know you're not alone. If you know somebody who's lost a pet, please be kind. You know, cut them a little slack and just know that the spirits are all around us and I'm sure Phil is still here. I'm sure he's messing around with me at some point even while we're doing this, but if my work can help people dealing with what I've dealt with, with his passing, then I can rest easy at night, you know? Anyway, guys, thank you for sticking it out. Keep an eye on my Instagram page, at therealjenniferluciana. I'm going to post pictures of the wonderful Phil and all the people who loved him. Stay blessed, okay? And find some joy in today. We'll see you next time. Bye now.